Latest / Loud & Lifted / Living and Leading with Intention: Grit, Grace & a Game Plan with Julia Arpag
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Loud and Lifted, the podcast where
- 0:02we don't just talk about women supporting women,
- 0:04we dig into the real stories behind the strength,
- 0:06the scars, and the sass. I'm your host, Betsy
- 0:09Hamm, and today I'm excited to chat with Julia
- 0:11Arpegg. Julia is the dynamic founder and CEO
- 0:15of Aligned Recruitment. Julia transformed a challenging
- 0:18setback into a thriving, values -driven tech
- 0:21recruitment firm. She's continued to scale all
- 0:24while staying true to her values of integrity,
- 0:26faith, and service. We're going to dig into Julia's
- 0:29journey from uncertainty to entrepreneurial success,
- 0:32offering insights and building a business that
- 0:34aligns with personal values. Whether you're an
- 0:36aspiring entrepreneur or navigating career transitions,
- 0:39Julia's story is a testament to resilience and
- 0:42purpose driven leadership. Let's get loud and
- 0:45left with the unstoppable Julia. Thank you so
- 0:57much for being here. Thank you, Betsy. I'm so
- 1:00excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
- 1:01My gosh. You have a few things going on, so I
- 1:04love that you still take time to have an amazing
- 1:07LinkedIn schedule of posts, but then also do
- 1:09podcasts. I don't know how you do all of it.
- 1:12It's my pleasure. Honestly, this stuff is fun.
- 1:14I love it. I'm happy to be here. Nice. Well,
- 1:16I'm sure any podcast you do starts with your
- 1:19story of the shock of how you got into your current
- 1:24career. So if you want to take us back a few
- 1:26years to how you decided to go from a steady
- 1:29job working for another company to starting your
- 1:32own thing. Oh my gosh. Yeah, no, my story is
- 1:35a crazy one. I was laid off five weeks postpartum
- 1:40with my fourth son. So I have two foster sons
- 1:43who are 14 and 15. They moved in when I was six
- 1:46months pregnant with my first biological son.
- 1:48And then my second biological son was born in
- 1:50July of 2023. So we just have to make sure that
- 1:54people caught on to that. You were six months
- 1:55pregnant with your first baby. And you decided
- 1:58to foster two, what were they probably? They
- 2:01were 10 and 11. Yeah. So you went like from a
- 2:05quiet house Zero to three overnight and actually
- 2:09they're older so they have a half sister who
- 2:11lived with us for a year too So yeah, we had
- 2:13it was crazy. I'm not gonna lie to you. It was
- 2:15crazy If I'd known I think God intentionally
- 2:17doesn't show us the future because we'd all be
- 2:20too afraid if we But you we just felt like oh
- 2:24my gosh, there are kids out there who need homes
- 2:26Obviously older kids are really hard to find
- 2:28homes for so it just broke our hearts So yeah,
- 2:31we opened up our home. I got real crazy real
- 2:33fast So then fast forward to 2023, we've had
- 2:37those three boys, my first biological son and
- 2:39our two foster sons for about two and a half
- 2:42years. Then we have our fourth son. And then
- 2:45I get laid off five weeks later. My CEO, I really
- 2:50don't hold this against him because he called
- 2:52me and he was like, listen, like I'm laying off
- 2:54the entire team. I haven't paid myself a salary
- 2:56in months. Like he's like, there's just no money.
- 2:58Like I, I can't conjure money out of thin air.
- 3:01So I truly like do not hold it against him. Like
- 3:03I'm not mad at him, but it was like, your timing
- 3:05could have been a little different. Yeah. I was
- 3:07definitely like, okay, this puts me in a tough
- 3:09situation. The good news is though, I had already
- 3:12been for about a year considering what it would
- 3:14look like to go out on my own because recruitment,
- 3:18you would, you can do it from anywhere. If you
- 3:20have the people skills, you can you can be very
- 3:24successful. And I had been very successful. I've
- 3:27been a tech recruiter for about six years now,
- 3:30six, seven, something like that. And so I was
- 3:31like, I could do this. Like I could totally,
- 3:33I've been the top performer and every time I've
- 3:35been on, I was like, I got this. So I was already
- 3:37thinking about it, but then he laid me off and
- 3:39I was like, okay, now seems like a good moment,
- 3:41but it also seems like a scary moment because
- 3:44I was like, wait, like I kind of like having
- 3:47a salary. Like that's nice. Yeah. Right. So a
- 3:51couple of my former clients actually reached
- 3:53out when they heard I got laid off and they offered
- 3:54me jobs at their companies, which was awesome.
- 3:57So I actually took one. I literally took one
- 3:59and I was like, great. Thank you. Yep. Done.
- 4:02But my former co -founder also offered me, you
- 4:05know, she was like, just, just come help me build
- 4:07a line to recruitment five hours a week. Nothing
- 4:09crazy. Just need your expertise. Almost like
- 4:11more on an advisory capacity. I was like, sure.
- 4:13That sounds great. No problem. we get like a
- 4:15month in and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so
- 4:18much fun. Like I would way rather run my own
- 4:21business and not work for someone else. So I
- 4:24told that client whose job I had accepted, I'm
- 4:27so sorry, but I've just got to move forward with
- 4:29this. And he was like, no problem. Let me become
- 4:31your next client. So they literally became, we
- 4:34had two clients by then he became our third client.
- 4:36So it was such an incredible transition. I could
- 4:39not have asked for it to go better. And then
- 4:40even better, honestly, about gosh, eight months
- 4:43later, I bought out my former co founder, because
- 4:46again, I, I, we just came from different worlds,
- 4:49right? Like she was strong operationally, but
- 4:51I knew recruitment, I learned sales, I brought
- 4:54in 99 % of our revenue. And I was like, I don't,
- 4:57no offense, I don't really need you. I can just
- 4:59go out and do this on my own. So she's been gone
- 5:02for about a year and I totally stand by that
- 5:05decision. It's been such a blast. So yeah, that's
- 5:07what brings us to current day. We've been running
- 5:09the business for about 20 months and we're just
- 5:11at about a million in revenue. So I'm very grateful,
- 5:14very excited. Amazing, in less than two years.
- 5:16Less than two years, yeah. That's wild. And how
- 5:20confident were you in your decision? Or was it
- 5:21that it just kind of continued to build that
- 5:23you're like, okay, this is picking up steam or
- 5:26were there moments where you're like, Oh my gosh,
- 5:27what am I doing? I have four mouths to feed.
- 5:29Oh, yeah, for sure. So yeah, like I said, I was
- 5:34so unconfident in the decision at first that
- 5:36I thought I would just do it a couple hours a
- 5:38week and have a full time job on this, like in
- 5:40addition to doing this on the side. So definitely
- 5:42unsure initially, when we hit such early traction,
- 5:45though, And I was hitting my financial goals
- 5:48basically immediately. I was like, Oh, maybe
- 5:52I can actually do this. And so that confidence
- 5:54has grown as I've shown myself what I'm capable
- 5:57of. So obviously, there's two months that have
- 6:00lower revenue than other months. So those months
- 6:02are scary. But I keep coming back to I know I
- 6:07can do this. I have the track record to prove
- 6:09it. I know God is with me. And whatever that
- 6:13looks like, right? I'm very open -handed in my
- 6:15life. I'm like, if God continues to bless the
- 6:16business, awesome, we'll keep going in this direction.
- 6:19If not, great, I'll follow him in a different
- 6:21direction. But it's been a very stretching experience
- 6:24not having that stable income and really having
- 6:26to fight for it every month. It's made me even
- 6:29more intense than I was before, to be honest.
- 6:33which I didn't think was possible. You didn't
- 6:35think you needed to do? Yeah, yeah. So I honestly,
- 6:39whenever I am like, man, this is tough, my executive
- 6:41coach and I laugh about. Sometimes we both just
- 6:44longingly look at the people who work at Trader
- 6:47Joe's like bagging groceries. And we're like,
- 6:49they're so happy. That'd be an awesome job. And
- 6:52they're always happy every time I've ever been
- 6:54at Trader Joe's. Right. And I'm sure they get
- 6:55huge discounts on those amazing like peanut butter
- 6:58cups. Like y 'all have got it made. So there
- 7:01are moments like that where I'm like, there are
- 7:02easier paths to this. Ultimately, I value freedom
- 7:06and flexibility so much that that has really
- 7:09been my driver in the two years I've run the
- 7:10business. Was it hard to have that switch from
- 7:13like the employee mindset, right? To being the
- 7:16boss, the entrepreneur, responsible for other
- 7:18people? I mean, how was that shift of a mindset?
- 7:21I did a ton of mindset work, like a crazy amount.
- 7:23So I had a lot of fear. I was like, man, I have
- 7:29no, I've never sold a thing ever, ever. Not one
- 7:33thing to anyone ever. So I was like, the only
- 7:36way I'm going to make money is if I sell my recruitment
- 7:38services and get people to buy them. Like, it's
- 7:40so easy to hire someone. You're like, hello,
- 7:42would you like $200 ,000 to do a job for this
- 7:45person? They're like, yes, I would. That's so
- 7:46easy. Sales, like going to a company and saying,
- 7:49hey, can you please give me? thousands of dollars
- 7:52to fill this role for you. That's a whole different
- 7:54ballgame. So I was terrified. I was very nervous.
- 7:57So I did a lot of mindset work around confidence
- 8:00and my value and my worth and my ability and
- 8:04the abundance mindset. Like just the belief that
- 8:07there is so much opportunity and I'm just going
- 8:11to walk into it. Like I don't have to go fight
- 8:13for scraps. I'm going to have more than enough.
- 8:15So really that shift was what I had to do to
- 8:18be successful. I love that. And so when you say
- 8:20mindset work, like what does that entail? Like
- 8:23what did that look like for you? So I found a
- 8:26bunch of affirmation recordings on Spotify and
- 8:29stuff like that. But a lot of them, I would resonate
- 8:31with like four or five of the statements and
- 8:34not the others. So I recorded my own. Like I
- 8:37took my favorites from a bunch of different affirmations.
- 8:40I literally recorded myself saying them. And
- 8:43I paid a guy on Fiverr like 20 bucks to set it
- 8:46to like meditation music. And every morning it's
- 8:49a 17 minute recording. Every single morning I
- 8:51listen to it while I do my makeup. And you still
- 8:53do this? Yeah, girl. I thought two years into
- 8:58like, yeah, I got this. I don't need to be. Oh
- 9:01my gosh. No mindset is every day and you keep
- 9:03leveling up right like right now I have a team
- 9:05of six. So it's very different to run a team
- 9:07than to be a solopreneur. It's very different
- 9:10to be a co founder than to be a sole CEO like
- 9:13every new level up I've done for the past two
- 9:15years has required more affirmations more mindset
- 9:18shifts more like right now I'm reading the book
- 9:2010x is easier than 2x like I keep 10x saying
- 9:23every like month basically so I have to keep
- 9:26Re retraining my brain and re coaching myself.
- 9:30That's amazing. And you just mentioned a book
- 9:32I was gonna ask is there any other tools or anything
- 9:34else you did beside the affirmation to help move
- 9:36you forward? Yeah, I'm a voracious reader. So
- 9:39I read minimum probably four bucks some four
- 9:42bucks a month Do you sleep because I'm catching
- 9:46Like do you sleep like I sleep a comical amount
- 9:52we can walk through my schedule in a second a
- 9:56lot. My friends all make fun of me because on
- 9:59Amazon, there's this banner that says, thanks
- 10:02for coming. Please leave by nine. That is literally
- 10:04my energy. Every time we host people, we kick
- 10:07them out of our house at nine o 'clock. I'll
- 10:09start brushing my teeth and be like, bye. I'm
- 10:11just like, nope, you're done. So yeah, I sleep
- 10:13a lot. Yes, I hear you. So another book I read
- 10:18that was very impactful, it's called The Ruthless
- 10:21Elimination of Hurry. And the idea is basically,
- 10:24We feel so rushed and so hurried because we're
- 10:27letting our phones fill every single spare minute
- 10:30of our day. have my phone in the other room as
- 10:34often as I can. I need it for a lot of the work
- 10:37I do. So it's not always realistic for it to
- 10:39not be with me. But when I log off at the end
- 10:41of the day, I put it in another room. When I
- 10:43sleep, it's in another room. I'm really trying
- 10:45to train myself to not check my phone between
- 10:47every activity I do because that really is a
- 10:50time stack. So I just have a handful of priorities
- 10:54every day. And I just do them. Well, let's talk
- 10:58about that because I think you have to have a
- 11:00good schedule and must be time management and
- 11:02you still are taking care of yourself and you're
- 11:04like taking care of your business, your kids.
- 11:06So talk us through how, and I hate saying I never
- 11:08use the word balance because balance isn't real
- 11:11because that would mean everything's even and
- 11:12equal and that's not life. So how do you handle
- 11:15all of the priorities that you have? Yeah, right.
- 11:20Well, I never said I maintain my sanity. But
- 11:24I hear you like, how am I still here? Right?
- 11:26Yeah. So I have gone through so many iterations
- 11:29of my schedule. So we're two years in. I'll probably
- 11:32if we do this podcast again in six months, I'll
- 11:33probably have a different answer for you. So
- 11:35I've gone through iterations where I woke up
- 11:37at 430 every morning. That worked for about six
- 11:39months until I got so exhausted. I couldn't do
- 11:41it anymore. I've gone through iterations where
- 11:43I've worked like 10 hours a day. That didn't
- 11:46work. I have four kids. Right now, I'm in an
- 11:49iteration where I sleep until my kids wake up,
- 11:52which is usually 530 in the morning, so I'm still
- 11:54waking up pretty early. But my littles get up
- 11:56around 530, my one and four year old. So we get
- 11:58up, we play, we hang out. They both go to a Montessori
- 12:01day school. So I get them up, get them out the
- 12:04house, my husband drops them off at eight. And
- 12:06then from eight to 10 is my me time. So from
- 12:10eight to nine, I work out. From nine to 10, I
- 12:12spend time with God. And then at 10, I hit the
- 12:15ground running with my work day. And my work
- 12:17day entails my number one priority. So like you
- 12:20said, LinkedIn marketing has been very effective
- 12:22for my business. So I make sure I put up a LinkedIn
- 12:24post every day. I make sure to send 15 sales
- 12:27touches per day just to make sure I'm keeping
- 12:29my pipeline going. I make sure that I'm interviewing
- 12:32at least three, two to four, let's say two to
- 12:34four candidates per day just to keep my pipelines
- 12:36running. I do have recruiters and sources on
- 12:38my team as well. But for my personal desk, I
- 12:40make sure I always have interviews every day.
- 12:43And then I time block like Mondays are for internal
- 12:46team meetings. Wednesdays are for client meetings.
- 12:50Tuesdays and Thursdays are for heads down work
- 12:52time and ad hoc sales calls. And then Fridays
- 12:56are for fun stuff like this, like podcasts, networking
- 12:58events, stuff like that. So by chunking out not
- 13:01only my hours, but also my days, that helps me
- 13:04actually focus on one kind of set of calls or
- 13:08responsibilities for that day. And then something
- 13:10I've just started doing the past couple of weeks
- 13:12is I log off at three. So I now only work 25
- 13:15hours a week. And the reason that's worked so
- 13:18far is number one, I have a great team. Number
- 13:22two, I flex that as needed. Like luckily I have
- 13:24flexibility. My kids can stay at school till
- 13:27five if need be. So I have that option if something
- 13:29does run late. But I think having that boundary
- 13:32makes it so I am ruthless with my prioritization.
- 13:35Like if I only have five hours a day to work,
- 13:37again, not checking my phone between stuff. I
- 13:39have a clear to do list where I'm like, these
- 13:41are the must do priorities today. And I just
- 13:44bang it out. I just go from thing to thing to
- 13:46thing to thing. So you are super intentional
- 13:48about every hour literally of your week. Yes.
- 13:52And what happens if you fall off your schedule?
- 13:55I'm like, God dang it. I'm obviously disappointed,
- 14:00right? Yeah, and I had this perfect schedule.
- 14:03How am I going to stay on it? Like yesterday,
- 14:05for example, I went up to Atlanta. I live in
- 14:08the suburbs outside Atlanta. So I went up to
- 14:10the city to meet with a client. We had lunch.
- 14:12It was a good time. But obviously that eats up
- 14:14several hours of my day. So I didn't have time
- 14:17to do my typical sales activities or my typical
- 14:20candidate screening activities. So I'm like...
- 14:21that's okay. Like not ideal. But I'll get those
- 14:24I'll get those in another day. So basically,
- 14:27I've tried to have the mentality of I'm in a
- 14:29unique position. I'll be honest, I don't know
- 14:31any other recruitment or any founders in general,
- 14:34who have biological little kids, older foster
- 14:38kids, run their own business, like I don't know
- 14:41anyone else who's doing all these things. So
- 14:42I don't really have a mentor or an example to
- 14:46look up to. So I've just really had to be really
- 14:49intentional with myself with my walk with God.
- 14:53Like I asked God a couple weeks ago in our prayer
- 14:56time, I was like, what would you have me do with
- 14:58my business? Like I was very open handed. I was
- 15:00like, in general, what would you have me do?
- 15:03And clear as day, I've just felt this sense of
- 15:06log off at three. That's why I started doing
- 15:08this. And I was like, no, literally, I didn't
- 15:10do it, Betsy. I was like, that's ridiculous.
- 15:13That's absurd. No, I'm not doing that. And then
- 15:16two weeks later, I was reading a devotional by
- 15:19a Christian entrepreneur. And she was just like,
- 15:22is there something God has called you to do in
- 15:24your business that he knows he's called you to
- 15:25do that you're not doing? Yep, 100%. Oh, that's
- 15:29wild. So I just, I literally just started doing
- 15:31this like maybe two weeks ago, the laundry thing.
- 15:34And so I've really had a let go of if there were
- 15:36things that I wanted to get done that day that
- 15:38I didn't like just trusting that I'm walking
- 15:40in obedience and I'm doing what God told me to
- 15:42do. And then, like I said earlier, the favor
- 15:45will come and whatever that looks like, I accept
- 15:48that. And I'm very grateful for the clarity of
- 15:51there's no one to tell me how to do this. So
- 15:53I have to tell myself how to do it and I have
- 15:55to listen to God as I do it. And then I have
- 15:57to ruthlessly execute on that clarity that I
- 16:00receive. And I love, I love the boundaries piece
- 16:02because I think especially if you work from home,
- 16:05right? It's really easy. Oh, even home technology,
- 16:07whatever it is, it's so easy for everything to
- 16:09be so blurred and meshed together that we're
- 16:12multitasking to like a painful point where sometimes
- 16:15you're like, Oh my gosh, am I paying attention
- 16:17to anything that's going on, whether it's work
- 16:19or your family life. I used to think I was really
- 16:23good at multitasking, but now I think it's a
- 16:25negative thing. No one's good at multitasking.
- 16:26Yeah. It's not a thing. It's not a thing. Yes.
- 16:30We can only do a bunch of things badly. We cannot
- 16:32successfully multitask. Yeah, yeah, because you
- 16:35just don't give it everything you have or your
- 16:37full attention. And yeah, I've caught myself
- 16:39doing that, especially when my kids were younger,
- 16:41like you notice when they're trying to do something
- 16:43or play and now they're on their phones too much
- 16:46that they're older, but it's like just being
- 16:48present and being intentional about how you're
- 16:50spending time. It does make sense that you can
- 16:52shrink down your work week or make sure you're
- 16:55present with your kids. So I think that's great
- 16:57advice. And I'm sure you have days where it probably
- 16:59gets a little off track and there's always a
- 17:01next day. Then I just get back on. Yep, exactly.
- 17:05That's interesting. Let's talk about your why,
- 17:07because this is very cool to me. When you start
- 17:10your own company, you obviously get to make it
- 17:12that's around you and your values. And you have
- 17:15this front and center on your website, which
- 17:17I love. So talk to us about your why. Yeah, yeah,
- 17:21I actually have a page on my website literally
- 17:23that says our mission and I go into I'm very
- 17:26transparent about my faith. I'm very transparent
- 17:28that I'm a faith filled entrepreneur that everything
- 17:30I do in my life is because of my faith. And I'm
- 17:33a very mission oriented person. So like I said,
- 17:36we've been foster parents for four and a half
- 17:37years. That is something that has been radically
- 17:40important to me even before I married my husband.
- 17:43I just couldn't believe there were hundreds of
- 17:451000s of kids who needed homes and the vast majority
- 17:48of people aren't willing to give them the spare
- 17:50room they already have in their house. Like that
- 17:52just blew my mind. So the moment he and I bought
- 17:54a house and actually had space for kids, we started
- 17:57the process to get certified. So my goal with
- 17:59being so transparent about our story is. Number
- 18:02one, I think people think it's like an out there
- 18:05problem. It's not it's a right here problem.
- 18:07And number two, I want to be clear that you can
- 18:09be a profit driven entrepreneur, you can be a
- 18:12for profit company, and use your money to serve
- 18:16in some philanthropic way, and make that something
- 18:20you discuss openly. So I'm very transparent on
- 18:22my website, I talk about our experiences, foster
- 18:24parents, and then we've also started a ministry
- 18:27where We do health projects for single foster
- 18:30moms. We provide meals for foster families. We
- 18:34have a 15 passenger van because we're a big road
- 18:36trip family. So we load up like a dozen moms
- 18:40and drive them down to Florida for this annual
- 18:42foster adoptive moms retreat. Like there's all
- 18:44these things we do because The reason a lot of
- 18:47people don't do this is because I think it sounds
- 18:48so scary. Like, oh my God, you want kids from
- 18:50hard places to like live in my house? Like, no,
- 18:52that's too hard. So we do everything we can to
- 18:54empower the people that have said yes to this
- 18:56really hard thing. We lead a weekly small group
- 18:59in our home on Wednesday nights. They were just
- 19:00here two days ago and we just all sit out and
- 19:04have a glass of wine or a glass of whiskey and
- 19:07we just chat. We're just like, what's good? What's
- 19:10bad? What's hard? What's ugly? How can we help?
- 19:12What do you need? What's going on? And then we
- 19:13just fill those needs as we can. That is amazing.
- 19:16And again, back to like, are you sure you sleep?
- 19:20Like you didn't put that into your weekly schedule.
- 19:22I know, right? Well, I never got past three o
- 19:25'clock. So past three o 'clock is like this fun
- 19:27stuff, right? Like getting to hang out with my
- 19:28family, getting to have people over, getting
- 19:30to do this kind of service. So yeah. That's amazing.
- 19:32And we were talking earlier, the fact that you
- 19:35have teenagers and you have little ones. I mean,
- 19:38you're in two different worlds, like the need
- 19:40and the expectations and their schedule and the
- 19:42time and what... they have a need from you from
- 19:45a relation standpoint. I mean, that's, that's
- 19:47a lot to be able to have to focus on two different
- 19:50worlds of kid age. I appreciate that. Yeah. And
- 19:53it is different because Our littles go to bed
- 19:56at 7, 7 .30. My four -year -old's getting pushy
- 19:59about bedtime. So 7 .30, 8, 8. Whatever, I can
- 20:03get them down. So then we do have some time with
- 20:06just the bigs to kind of check in. To your point,
- 20:08they'd typically rather play video games or be
- 20:10on their phones or go to their friend's houses.
- 20:12But we do have that chance to just kind of like
- 20:14check in with each age group of the home. And
- 20:18then like I was saying earlier, we... We are,
- 20:21I am so intense about my sleep. Like I know that
- 20:24there's no chance for me to be the person I want
- 20:26to be if I don't sleep. So our big stay up later
- 20:29than us. Like I'm in bed by nine o 'clock, nine
- 20:31or nine 30 every single night. and we let them
- 20:35stay up. They don't have a bedtime, right? They
- 20:37just have to be off their devices, but they can
- 20:38stay up. I don't care if you're up all night,
- 20:40as long as you're reading a book or going to
- 20:42school. I don't care. Yeah, whatever. So that
- 20:45was a shift. When they first moved in, when they
- 20:48were 10 and 11, we were like, you have to go
- 20:50to bed at nine because we have to go to bed at
- 20:51nine. But now that they're older, we're like,
- 20:53okay, you do you, but we're going to go to bed.
- 20:56So that's how we've made it all work, to be honest.
- 20:59So I think you personally have a great value
- 21:01system and you're living what you believe and,
- 21:04and, and being able to do it professionally and
- 21:06personally. So how do you instill that into your
- 21:09kids, whether it's the littles or the bigs, how
- 21:11do you make sure that they understand that? And
- 21:14it's obviously different in different ages, but
- 21:15how do you, how are you instilling into the boys?
- 21:17Oh my gosh, that's such a good question. I think
- 21:18about this every single day. So the bigs, they
- 21:21came from a really hard background. Obviously
- 21:23you don't end up in foster care because you have
- 21:25model citizen parents, right? So they, the Themselves
- 21:30need so much that I've really balanced like like
- 21:33emotionally right like they're very emotionally
- 21:36Broken to be honest by what happened to them.
- 21:38So I'm like, okay How much do I press into like
- 21:41discipling you and and showing you like now that
- 21:44you've? Come out of your trauma a little bit
- 21:47like obviously it's a lifelong healing process
- 21:48But you're in a different place than you were
- 21:50before you went into foster care What can I do
- 21:52to help empower you to serve other people? Balancing
- 21:55that with like they still have to do a lot of
- 21:57healing. So one way we figured out to do that
- 22:00And this is an imperfect system, but we have
- 22:02compassion international kids. So it's basically
- 22:05a program where kids who live overseas and don't
- 22:07have financial resources, you can become like
- 22:09their pen pal and like their buddy. So we send
- 22:13the it's like a monthly amount that you send
- 22:14us to make sure you can cover basic necessities
- 22:16and then you write them letters. So our two boys
- 22:20have they each have like their own little pen
- 22:22pal and they just like write letters back and
- 22:23forth. So that's one way just to kind of show
- 22:26them like, yes, you have not had a great hand
- 22:29of cards dealt to you but neither have these
- 22:31kids and like this is the way that we can serve
- 22:33these people so that's one way and then the other
- 22:36way honestly is they especially the 15 year old
- 22:39he is so compassionate and kind like he comes
- 22:45home all the time and tells me stories he's very
- 22:47outgoing he's very well liked he's very popular
- 22:49He tells me stories of hanging out with the kid
- 22:52in his class who has autism or the kid in his
- 22:55class who's in a wheelchair. Like he's very intentional
- 22:57about that. One of his best friends, a good friend
- 23:01of our family, one of their boys has autism and
- 23:03he's the same age as our foster sons. He calls
- 23:06him one of his best friends. Like our foster
- 23:07son is like, oh yeah, I love him. Like, and he's
- 23:10not, he's not like, oh, but he's kind of weird.
- 23:12He's like, no, like he appreciates people for
- 23:14who they are. I think that's huge. Like I've
- 23:17really seen that just. kind of make compassion
- 23:21their own and in their context be something that
- 23:23they value. For my littles, my one -year -old's
- 23:27a freaking lunatic, so I have no idea. You have
- 23:29to have at least one. I'm just trying to keep
- 23:31him alive, honestly. My four -year -old is also
- 23:36extremely thoughtful. I've noticed he's very
- 23:39much in the phase of really trying to understand.
- 23:41He used to ask why just because kids ask why,
- 23:43and now he asks why because he really is like,
- 23:45wait, what's going on there? What's happening
- 23:47there? Like, for example, being so close to Atlanta,
- 23:50we have a bunch of people who are homeless who
- 23:52live in Atlanta. So we drive around. My husband
- 23:55packed hundreds of bags that have food, information
- 23:59about local resources, water bottles, cleaning
- 24:02supplies, toothbrushes, whatever. So we just
- 24:04keep those in our cars. And so whenever we pass
- 24:06someone, we're like, hey, would you like this
- 24:09bag? So my son sees us do that. So he's like,
- 24:11oh, why is that man there? What's the screw here?
- 24:15So we just explain. We just want him to understand,
- 24:18Not everyone has the same resources. Not everyone
- 24:20has the same access. So those of us who have
- 24:22more than enough, we support those who have less
- 24:25than enough. And then the goal is as much as
- 24:28possible level in the playing field and whatever
- 24:29ways we can. So those kind of like - Absolutely.
- 24:32Just being a good example. Yeah. And that's things
- 24:34even up. maybe not one, but at four, he can understand.
- 24:38And so I think starts to plant seeds as they
- 24:40grow of supporting and taking care of the people
- 24:42and helping however you can. So that's awesome.
- 24:44Yeah. That's very cool. You talk about the faith,
- 24:46your values, like do you have any advice for
- 24:48women who maybe it's a little bit harder if you're
- 24:51in a big company, but how do you hold true to
- 24:53yourself if you have any advice for women how
- 24:56to do that? I do. Yeah. So for my whole career,
- 24:59prior to this moment, I worked for other people
- 25:02who didn't share my same values, right? So I
- 25:04definitely have thought about that a lot as an
- 25:06employee. As far as I know, I've been the only
- 25:09Christian in a lot of the teams I've been on,
- 25:11and I've been the only foster parent, I think,
- 25:14at every company I worked at before. Good chance.
- 25:17Right? Like shocker, right? No one does this.
- 25:20But I think for me, I've just always been very
- 25:23honest. I've never hidden who I am, but I've
- 25:27also been respectful. So now I have to do a ton
- 25:31of personal marketing and personal branding to
- 25:33sell, but I didn't before. So I wasn't like,
- 25:37you know. shouting from the rooftops. I'm a Christian
- 25:39and a foster parent, everyone to do this. Now
- 25:41I tell my story because it's just part of my
- 25:43story as a business owner. But basically, I just
- 25:45have always tried to be very relational. One
- 25:48of the offices I used to work at, I had to be
- 25:50in office four days a week, which drove me crazy.
- 25:52I'm a huge fan of remote work. I thought that
- 25:54was the dumbest policy ever. But I did it. And
- 25:57I put verses up on my wall like Bible verses
- 25:59to remind me like I am a child of God. My first
- 26:05priority is not to be your employee, not even
- 26:07to be a wife or a mom. My first priority is my
- 26:10obedience to God, just to remind me, no matter
- 26:12how stupid I think this rule is, I am to act
- 26:16with excellence, integrity, honor, kindness,
- 26:18goodness, grace, all those kinds of ideas. So
- 26:21I think no matter what your values are, they're
- 26:23more about how you act, not about what you say.
- 26:26So it's always possible to infuse your work with
- 26:29the character values that matter to you. That's
- 26:32great advice. That's a great point. So I have
- 26:34to ask you as a recruiter that you've spent years
- 26:37of your life doing, what do you see that women
- 26:39can do better when they're going for another
- 26:41job or trying to change a career? So is there
- 26:43anything that you see that you're like, wow,
- 26:45and I don't know how much. you're dealing with
- 26:46women in tech. I can be super stereotypical and
- 26:48assume it's a lot of male in the tech industry,
- 26:51but just as a recruiter, what do you see? Yeah,
- 26:54I would, I would have to look back at my numbers
- 26:56to pull this for sure, but I really think about
- 26:5850 % of the candidates we've placed have been
- 27:01female. So that is a very relevant question.
- 27:03It takes some digging on our part, right? Like
- 27:06sometimes I tell my sourcing team, like for this
- 27:09week, let's only focus on female candidates because
- 27:11to your point, male candidates are much more.
- 27:14uh, present in tech. Uh, but, but I think my
- 27:18best advice for a woman looking for a job is
- 27:22do your research, like find out what the worth
- 27:24is of the job that you're going after and ask
- 27:28for it. Like that is for me, that's a non -negotiable.
- 27:34Like I, I hate when I see people and I get it.
- 27:38If you're, if you've been laid off and it's been
- 27:40six months and you just have to keep the lights
- 27:42on in your house, like, Okay, that's a different
- 27:45situation. But if you're in a position where
- 27:49you can ask for top dollar, do ask for top dollar.
- 27:53And then even when they offer it to you at the
- 27:55end, I would ask for more personally. Honestly,
- 27:59that's what I always did as an employee. Like
- 28:01whatever offer they came to me with, I was like,
- 28:02awesome. And then I would ask for typically like
- 28:0510 % more on the offer they gave me. I never
- 28:07got it, but I would get like 5 % more or 3 %
- 28:11more, right? So like, there's no reason not to
- 28:14ask. And if you do it respectfully and kindly,
- 28:16even if they say no, there's no negative to that,
- 28:19right? You don't know if you don't ask. My favorite
- 28:21sentence is don't say their no for them. So always
- 28:24ask, always put it out there. Always try. If
- 28:27they say no, who cares? You're in the same position
- 28:29you were anyway. But if they say yes, you're
- 28:32in a way better position. And sometimes it's
- 28:34just on the approach, right? Like me being in
- 28:36the The ceo end in the past and people negotiated.
- 28:39I learned a lot by how others negotiated good
- 28:41and bad But you know there was it to your point.
- 28:44I ask and you can be I don't want to say casual
- 28:46about it, but you can have a great approach about
- 28:48it that you're not feeling like you're attacking
- 28:51the company or the HR person. So, you know, I
- 28:53think a lot of times it's just the positioning,
- 28:55the approach, this is my value. And hey, if I
- 28:57get five percent, I asked for 10, I wanted five,
- 28:59that's better than zero. But I do love the fact
- 29:02that you have to ask because I realized actually
- 29:04how terrible I am at negotiating on the other
- 29:07side of the table through the years. I'm like,
- 29:09man, I should have. definitely pushed back every
- 29:11time. I'd be like, okay. And I'd be like, okay,
- 29:14great. Thanks. You know, that was sort of a response.
- 29:16Like I was grateful or thankful. I don't know.
- 29:20So yeah, I realized through the years, I definitely
- 29:22could have been a better negotiator, especially
- 29:24in those early days where it was just, you didn't
- 29:26know. You didn't know better and thought what
- 29:28they offered was it. And that's certainly not
- 29:31the case. And the best book I've ever read on
- 29:34negotiation is Never Split the Difference by
- 29:36Chris Voss. He was an FBI hostage negotiator.
- 29:40So he's coming from the freaking trenches. Oh,
- 29:42gosh. But it applies so well to business. I read
- 29:45that entire book in a weekend because I was like,
- 29:48this is going to change my life and my business.
- 29:50That's how I bought out my former partner. That's
- 29:52how I've negotiated all my client contracts.
- 29:54That's how I've negotiated all the employees
- 29:56I've brought on my team. Whenever one of my candidates
- 29:58does negotiate the offer, I give them free. another
- 30:00client, I that book helps me have that conversation.
- 30:03So if you if anyone listening to this feels like
- 30:06you or they're like, I'm just not good at that,
- 30:07like, okay, learn. Right? Do I'm literally gonna
- 30:11order that? Yeah, we are literally about to like
- 30:13go order. It's fantastic. Yeah. Could always
- 30:16improve a negotiation. Yeah. That's awesome.
- 30:19I feel like we could get advice from you for
- 30:21the next couple of hours, but we know you have
- 30:23a schedule to keep. So any other last advice,
- 30:27parting words? I think you are just doing so
- 30:29many amazing things personally and professionally,
- 30:32so congrats to you. But any other parting advice
- 30:35for our listeners? Thank you, Betsy. Yeah, I
- 30:37just think the number one thing you have to do
- 30:39before you execute is you've got to get clarity.
- 30:41So something I do, I didn't even mention this,
- 30:43but I also have a once a month calendar block
- 30:46where it's just my monthly reflection and planning.
- 30:49And so I have to have time to be quiet and just
- 30:51be like, okay, what do I need in this next month?
- 30:54What does my business need? What does my family
- 30:56need? What does my husband need? You cannot live
- 31:00a thoughtful life if you don't have time to think.
- 31:02So you have to give yourself time to think before
- 31:05you can execute. That is amazing advice. That's
- 31:08going to be one of our highlights. I know it.
- 31:10That's so awesome. Julia, thank you so much for
- 31:12being here. And if you could come over and help
- 31:16me schedule out my next couple of weeks, that
- 31:18would be awesome. I love your blocks every day.
- 31:21So thank you. Thank you so much for being here.
- 31:23Huge thanks to Julia for showing us what it looks
- 31:25like to turn rock bottom into a launch pad. For
- 31:28reminding us that power doesn't come from titles.
- 31:30It comes from knowing who you are, what you value
- 31:33and not apologizing for either. She's proof that
- 31:35you can raise babies and raise the bar. You can
- 31:38pray, profit, protect your peace and still be
- 31:40one of the fiercest ones in the room. If you
- 31:43love this episode, share it with a friend who
- 31:44needs a little push, a little pep and a little
- 31:46permission to design a life she actually wants.
- 31:49Until next time, stay loud, stay lifted and stay
- 31:52true to who you are.