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4 Things that Narcissists do when you take them back · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about what narcissists do,
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  things that narcissists do when they get back into your life if
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  you take them back. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Narcissistic people, toxic people, y'all.
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  If you take them back, it typically gets worse.
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  Typically, I ain't going to say 100% of the time because I try,
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  I try not to speak in absolutes on my channel because it just,
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  you know, absolutes don't work for me, right?
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  But most of the time typically, typically is the Greek God of
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  maybe it gets worse. So that's why I said when you
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  take them back, it typically gets worse.
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  Things that they will do if you take them back, one of the
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  things that they would do is they will treat you better for a
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  little while. Most of the times, all the time.
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  It's like with you all the times.
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  Even if you take them back for cheating, lying, beating on you,
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  you're stealing from you, starting the smear campaign on
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  you, spreading the worst rumors possible.
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  You take them back for that. They still treat you terribly.
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  They like they might treat you good at first, but it goes back
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  to who they were eventually. Eventually they will start to
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  treat you like just like they did before, and most times worse
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  than they did before. So yeah, there might be a time
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  of peace once you take them back.
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  If you take them back, there might actually be a short period
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  time, a short time period of peace that it very well might be
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  like. They might treat you good for a
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  little while just to get back in your good graces.
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  But as soon as that mask wears off, as soon as the facade is
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  over with and they're done with it, they go back to the original
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  horrible behaviors. They go back to the original
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  toxic manipulative behaviors. They just, yeah, they just do.
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  Like it's most narcissists want to be low effort, right?
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  And what I mean by low effort is they want to just put in as
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  little work as possible to keep you right with them, to keep you
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  there to to, you know, to get what they ever they want from
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  you, to get narcissistic supply from you.
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  They want to be able to put in as little effort as possible, as
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  little energy as possible. It takes energy, y'all to treat
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  you good. It's low effort, low energy to
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  just be myself and just and just to naturally treat you bad.
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  I know that sounds crazy but that's how my mind works.
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  It's just like it's low effort to be be me.
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  It's takes a higher effort, higher energy to go outside of
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  my norm to do better, to be better.
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  Like I said, that's why I'm saying being a self aware
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  diagnosed narcissist like myself that's actually trying to work
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  on himself and get better. It takes a lot of energy to do
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  that. It'd be very low effort of me to
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  just be back to be who I was originally, to go back to those
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  behaviors. It it just would be y'all, it's
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  not, it would, it would be easier because I was, I was,
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  I've been to therapy for over 7 years now, right?
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  I was 32 years old when I started therapy.
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  So I had 30 years, 3 decades of built up behaviors that have got
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  me, had got me to a certain point in life.
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  So I was good, right? I was good at 3231 and a half 32
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  I was it's October 2017 so I was 30/2/1985 y'all but 8085 baby.
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  But yeah, they is, I was, I always been that way.
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  It's low effort. I had 30 years of, of built up
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  behaviors. Your narcissistic partner or
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  parent or whoever might have 40 years, 50 years, 60 years of
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  behaviors to fall back on. It's very difficult and high
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  energy to change those behaviors.
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  So one thing a lot of them will do is they will start to treat
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  you worse when y'all get back together.
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  You know what I mean? They will.
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  And I know it's just like, well, Lee, I thought, why?
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  Why can't they just be grateful and just just enjoy the time
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  together? Y'all you, you talking like you,
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  you talking about how you would want to do things, You know what
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  I mean? Another thing that a narcissist
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  will want will do when you get back to the other, if they will
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  make it harder, a lot of times they'll make it.
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  Try to make it harder for you to leave them again.
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  Think about it from this perspective right here.
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  If you kicked me out, if you left me and I had to beg and
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  plead for you to get to get back, I had to beg and plead.
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  You promise to change, do whatever it is, buy your gift,
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  buy you some roses, clap your cheese, whatever I had to do to
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  get you back. I understand that you can leave
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  me now. I understand that you kicked me
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  out and you changed the lot. You did whatever and we didn't
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  have anything together. So it made it may we might not
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  have had anything together. So it made the breakup kind of
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  easy, right? It made it made you, it made you
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  breaking up with me easier, right?
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  So I now I was like, damn, that was way too easy.
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  You did this way too easy. So now in my mind, what I'm
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  going to do now is make it harder for you to leave me.
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  So now guess what, I come back if we don't have kids together
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  and we still can have kids, I'm going to try to get you pregnant
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  or I'm going to try to get pregnant by you.
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  I'm going to try to buy a house with you.
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  Let's sign a lease together. Let's cosign in this car for me,
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  add me to your insurance, put me as an authorized user on your
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  Visa card. You know what I mean?
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  Let's buy a car together. Let's get a cat, Let's get a
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  dog. Let's raise this ferret
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  together. You know what I'm saying?
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  Let's get us, let's get, let's start an Ant colony together,
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  whatever it is. Let's become beekeepers
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  together. Something to make beekeepers.
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  Something to make it harder for you to leave, right?
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  Something to make you leaving you exiting this relationship a
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  little bit more difficult. That's the goal of a lot of
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  narcissists right there, right? That's the goal of a lot of
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  toxic narcissists to people. They want to make you live it.
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  You want to make your life just a little bit harder.
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  They do because like, I have a fear.
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  I know that you have the ability to leave me now.
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  So I have AI have one foot out the door.
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  So I'm going to make it harder for you to leave me again.
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  Want to borrow some money from you?
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  I'm going to try to make I'm going to make a main be a
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  mainstay in your life now. So another that's another thing
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  that they would do if you take them back.
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  You know, the third thing this is even I didn't thought I had
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  no list. I just thought about things
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  narcissists would do Y'all. The third thing that a lot of
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  narcissists will do if you take them back is that they will
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  start cheating. They will if they didn't cheat
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  on you before, they will start cheating on you now.
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  A lot of them will, not every single one of them, but a lot of
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  them will start cheating on you or a lot of if they were
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  cheating on you, they will start back cheating on you.
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  They'll just find a better way to hide it, right?
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  Again, I'm not speaking for every single narcissist, but if
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  they were because now you, we've broken up before.
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  I know the relationship has a pot.
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  I know the relationship can end and I don't want to be by myself
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  so now I'm going to actively be be pursuing a new supply and oh
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  y'all this is not your fault lady.
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  Damn what what I do wrong? Like you left me, you broke over
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  me. Even if it's something, even if
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  it's for something I did. You left me, you broke over me.
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  Now I need a new supply. Now I need a new partner now I
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  need that backup plan. I need it, I need it, I need it.
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  I absolutely do need it right. So that's the way a lot of
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  narcissist minds work. They absolutely do need for you
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  to do this type of stuff right here.
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  Y'all they do they want to be like say, so they are looking
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  for backup supply. Now they're looking for black
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  black they're looking for black up plan and me they're looking
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  for me black up plan. Sorry y'all.
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  They will start start at court. They will emotionally connect to
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  you for a little bit, but they'll still be emotionally
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  disconnected from you a lot as well.
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  Y'all, this is the mindset of a lot of narcissistic toxic
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  people. They have this fear that you're
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  going to leave them, so they make it like I said.
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  So now I have to be like, OK, since you can leave me, since
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  you have the ability to leave me, since you can dip out on me.
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  What I'm going to do now is I'm going to go here and make sure I
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  have a backup plan just in case, just in case you decide to dip
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  out of me again, just in case. That's what I'm just saying,
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  y'all. This is the mindset, the
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  mentality. So they will try to get a back
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  up plan. If they already didn't have one,
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  if they didn't have one before, they will have one now.
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  So that's the third thing the narcissist would do, y'all.
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  The fourth thing the narcissist would do.
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  I was just, I'm going to keep this lit for y'all.
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  They'll like, yeah, they will further try to isolate you.
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  Yep, some narcissists. Now I'll just go a couple
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  different ways. Some narcissists will try to
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  reintegrate, will try to integrate themselves into your
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  life even more. Like I said earlier, they'll try
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  to make it harder for you to leave.
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  They'll try to dig deeper into your friendships and your
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  relationships, dig deeper into your friend groups in order to
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  try to make it harder for you to leave again, right?
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  But there are a lot of narcissists who are further
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  trying to isolate you because if, especially if you told your
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  friends and family about what happened and why we broke up, if
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  you told them about what happened and why we broke up.
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  Now I don't trust them. Now they're giving you advice to
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  leave me. Now they're on your side and not
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  my side. Now they are the enemies of the
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  state. So now I, I look at, I look at
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  them as enemy combatants, right? I'm looking at them as enemy
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  combatants. And as I'm looking at them, this
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  is the way my mind works. I'm looking at them.
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  So I need to isolate you. I need to get you away from
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  them. I need to protect my peace.
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  I need you. I need to protect myself so I
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  will isolate you further. Let's make a big move.
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  Let's move across the country. Quit your job.
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  Hey, don't talk to your mom as much.
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  They they don't like me. Your friend wants to give me
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  some ass. You know your your homeboy.
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  Try to sleep with me. Whatever it is they'll try to
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  make, they'll try to create these these wedges in your
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  relationships with your friends and family members in order to
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  supplant them in order to suppress their voices in your
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  life. This is what a lot of
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  narcissistic people would do y'all?
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  It absolutely is. I just say that like there's so
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  many people get into these spaces that they will mess with
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  your heads. They absolutely will like they
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  all mess with your heads and make it feel like in order to
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  give us, in order to give us a fighting chance, you need to cut
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  your family off. You need to stop talking to your
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  best friend. You need to just listen to me.
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  We need to just, you know, we don't need outside advice in our
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  relationship. Let's me and you work together.
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  Let's me and you try to be together.
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  Let's me and you do this. Let's me and you do that.
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  Then we'll try to make it seem like it's you and him, you and
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  her against the world when they, when they actually, you need the
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  world, you need that help, you need that.
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  So you need that support system. Y'all narcissistic people want
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  to cut, cut you away from your support system because that's
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  what that's what we do, Y'all, That's what we do.
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  Narcissists isolate you to cut your away from your support
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  system. The further away you are from
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  your support system, the more that I benefit from it.
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  The further you are away, the more I benefit from it.
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  So the less people you have in your ear, the more I benefit
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  from it. And most narcissists are out
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  here to try to benefit themselves.
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  Y'all that's the, that's the, the, the skinny effort right
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  there. Anyway, y'all.
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• 11:18
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• 11:22
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• 11:25
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• 11:26
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• 11:28
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• 11:30
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• 11:32
  Mental hill me through hill. This is out please.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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• 11:42
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.