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Happy Hour #69: The Drought (SATC Ep. 11) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is any and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
0:07
Speaker 1: Never Told You production of iHeart Radio. Y'all. We are
0:19
Speaker 1: in episode eleven, so we're one away from the finale
0:23
Speaker 1: of season one. We did it not Yeah, we can't
0:25
Speaker 1: say we did it yet, have we We're doing it.
0:28
Speaker 1: We're doing which is what we're doing on our segment
0:34
Speaker 1: of Happy Hour where we watch the we rewatch, we
0:39
Speaker 1: rewatching here watch first time watching My Keys, Yes, and
0:43
Speaker 1: commentate about these episodes which are bringing in some delightful
0:48
Speaker 1: conversations because it definitely is relevant even though it's back
0:52
Speaker 1: in the nineties two thousand's early, but it does correlate
0:58
Speaker 1: to a lot wherehere we are, where we are today
1:01
Speaker 1: and having that conversation, and it's been a delight thus far.
1:03
Speaker 1: So what, yeah, let's get in a review before we
1:06
Speaker 1: have a rundown. So far, what do you think of
1:08
Speaker 1: these Well, again, I've never seen them. This is my
1:12
Speaker 1: first time watching them. They are from We're in the
1:14
Speaker 1: first season, so that's and I have enjoyed it, and
1:20
Speaker 1: it has been It has started a lot of interesting
1:22
Speaker 1: conversations that are still relevant today that we're still having today.
1:26
Speaker 1: In some ways, that's to starting in other ways. It's
1:28
Speaker 1: makes sense to me because relationships are always going to
1:31
Speaker 1: be messy. I do like that. Again, the main relationships
1:36
Speaker 1: seems to be between these four women who are friends
1:39
Speaker 1: and trying to figure these things out together. Yes, yes,
1:44
Speaker 1: it is very heteronormative. It is also very white, yes,
1:48
Speaker 1: so that is a reminder. And it is also very rich,
1:50
Speaker 1: upper super class, upper class in general. So yeah, it's
1:53
Speaker 1: not as relevant, but its relevant. This is the famous
1:56
Speaker 1: thing that we all wanted to grow up l j Orgia,
2:00
Speaker 1: I wanted to live in a city in an apartment,
2:03
Speaker 1: have my friends, and go to brunch. That is exactly
2:05
Speaker 1: what I wanted. I have two of those things. Have
2:08
Speaker 1: friends and brunch. You have an apartment. It's not like, sure,
2:14
Speaker 1: you know, but they're living. But you're gonna go with that.
2:18
Speaker 1: Are we cool now because we have now bypassed Carrie's
2:22
Speaker 1: career and we've become podcasters, and then she became a podcaster,
2:26
Speaker 1: so we're cool like that. Sure, I will accept this,
2:33
Speaker 1: But what I do love, yes, is that fact that
2:36
Speaker 1: they have four successful women who can be independent who
2:39
Speaker 1: chooses something else. Yes. Yeah, and I like like, again,
2:44
Speaker 1: there's some problematic elements for sure of them. You know,
2:47
Speaker 1: I got to find this man. But they're still sticking
2:51
Speaker 1: together and they're talking about things that were for so
2:55
Speaker 1: long taboo, and a lot of instances are still taboo.
3:00
Speaker 1: So even for me, who's coming in at this way later,
3:04
Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, they're talking about vibrators, Are they talking
3:07
Speaker 1: about blow jobs or all these things? And it's women
3:09
Speaker 1: doing it, uh, in like a friend group. So sadly enough,
3:14
Speaker 1: I guess that still feels kind of novel to me.
3:18
Speaker 1: It was and it still is, Like I think it
3:20
Speaker 1: cut to this point that I'm like, I want to
3:21
Speaker 1: be able to talk to my girlfriends like that. Who
3:23
Speaker 1: gets to do that? So this has definitely made a
3:27
Speaker 1: turn for that. But yes, we are now in season eleven.
3:30
Speaker 1: We are at a happy hour. We are drinking all
3:32
Speaker 1: the things. I have decided to start drinking some sparkling
3:35
Speaker 1: water for this episode. What are you drinking? Well, we're
3:39
Speaker 1: we're doing kind of a binge recording right now. So
3:42
Speaker 1: this is our third episode in a row, and I'm
3:43
Speaker 1: still sipping on the BlackBerry mosa, which is sort of
3:47
Speaker 1: a BlackBerry mimosa pine berry kind of like a what
3:52
Speaker 1: did you say from Yeah? Without the gin, except now
3:56
Speaker 1: you just drinking more of the champagne with berries in it,
3:58
Speaker 1: so you're just super fancy. I feel super fancyne prosecco,
4:05
Speaker 1: so like we are real fancy. But yes, if you
4:08
Speaker 1: are drinking dreak responsibly. We are not sponsored by any
4:10
Speaker 1: of these things, including Costco if they wanted to sponsor us, though,
4:14
Speaker 1: I'll take it. I have a three membership. Um, I
4:17
Speaker 1: have some good food. I believe you. Okay anyway, but yes,
4:22
Speaker 1: we are in season one, episode eleven, so over one
4:26
Speaker 1: away from being the finale. Uh, and we are doing
4:29
Speaker 1: some exciting things because you all have said you liked
4:31
Speaker 1: it and we like it, so we're gonna keep going
4:34
Speaker 1: with all ten thousand episodes and movies. Oh I can't wait. Yes,
4:38
Speaker 1: and maybe season two and just like that. Although we
4:41
Speaker 1: got mixed reviews who knows, who knows? But yes, we
4:45
Speaker 1: are here. Can you give us a rundown? Okay? So
4:49
Speaker 1: this is the pain ultimate episode. So far, we've had
4:53
Speaker 1: a lot of conversations around relationships, single women, pregnancy, vibrators. Uh.
5:02
Speaker 1: And then we've met dig who I'm assuming it is
5:04
Speaker 1: going to be a big part of the finaley uh.
5:08
Speaker 1: And we have these threads coming together of I feel
5:12
Speaker 1: like Carrie's having a lot of these conversations with him
5:14
Speaker 1: about like, well, I think I want to get married,
5:16
Speaker 1: do you? Um the kid thing was more like, oh no,
5:20
Speaker 1: what if I have a kid? So she was fine, Yeah,
5:23
Speaker 1: she was fine, but there was that moment of her
5:25
Speaker 1: being like, so, I think we're moving towards something, some
5:30
Speaker 1: confrontation or some dramatic thing that's about to happen. Okay,
5:35
Speaker 1: I like it. All right. So this episode is titled
5:38
Speaker 1: The Drought. What do you think is about? And you
5:41
Speaker 1: did a pretty good score on the last one. The
5:43
Speaker 1: previous one was awful. Let's see what you Let's see
5:46
Speaker 1: what you got. Okay, the drought. I think the drought
5:50
Speaker 1: and I'm doing my best not to look at the screen.
5:53
Speaker 1: M I think it's a withholding of sex. I think
5:57
Speaker 1: it is we're not having sex until some end date
6:02
Speaker 1: or some something has been resolved. Um. I guess, like yeah,
6:08
Speaker 1: discussion around withholding sex and what you can get out
6:12
Speaker 1: of that. Okay, alright, let's start it up. Okay, this
6:32
Speaker 1: is a controversial thing. Okay, Okay, m oh no, is
6:38
Speaker 1: that you she farted? It might be worse under there,
6:50
Speaker 1: So that was a controversial scene because she really didn't
6:52
Speaker 1: want that. She didn't want to be farting on set,
6:55
Speaker 1: and Michael Patrick King who was like, no, no, no,
6:58
Speaker 1: this is gonna be amazing. I think this is actually
7:00
Speaker 1: his script. And so she runs out after farting under
7:05
Speaker 1: a blanket, ran into a door. Were you ever that embarrassed? Honestly?
7:11
Speaker 1: Not about the sound, yeah, but if it smelled bad. Oh,
7:29
Speaker 1: So she was like really embarrassed and then running a well,
7:33
Speaker 1: and he's making a good job. I mean, it is
7:36
Speaker 1: that is an issue that we feel like they can't
7:38
Speaker 1: any like bodily issue that isn't treaty right. Well, I
7:42
Speaker 1: mean we did have this whole little bit of controversial
7:43
Speaker 1: on our show when we didn't add about a poop spray,
7:48
Speaker 1: and we didn't know that the scripted because we were like,
7:51
Speaker 1: we can't do it to their satisfaction. So that scripted
7:54
Speaker 1: what they put on our show was really offensive, like
7:57
Speaker 1: you're supposed to hide it from then, and we're like, no,
7:59
Speaker 1: that's not we advocate for. Do I fart in front
8:02
Speaker 1: of my partner? Yes? Do I think it's funny? Yes?
8:06
Speaker 1: Do I think when he does it all the time
8:08
Speaker 1: that I want to punch him in the throat sometimes yes,
8:18
Speaker 1: and I was beginning to worry. Three times try three months.
8:21
Speaker 1: So now they're getting their nails done talking about the
8:24
Speaker 1: fact that she has not had sex with them three
8:27
Speaker 1: nights in a row after this incident, Miranda has been
8:31
Speaker 1: three months. Do you know what? Though I did not
8:33
Speaker 1: have sex until I was much older. We talked about this,
8:36
Speaker 1: like my choice sex and I have like even in relationships,
8:42
Speaker 1: I will go months without sex and it doesn't bother me.
8:45
Speaker 1: Maybe you should because this conversation made me think that
8:48
Speaker 1: I was a little off. Yeah, and I think we've
8:51
Speaker 1: talked about this too, But there were so many kind
8:53
Speaker 1: of toxic, problematic scripts we were getting from entertainment where
8:58
Speaker 1: it gave you a timeline like on the state, you
9:00
Speaker 1: should have done this, on this date, you should have
9:02
Speaker 1: done this, you should be having sex, this happen and
9:03
Speaker 1: all this stuff, and it's different for everybody. Communication is key.
9:09
Speaker 1: I don't think there's like one thing that is like, oh,
9:13
Speaker 1: you have had sex on that long this is a problem. Right,
9:17
Speaker 1: So here we are. This is a really great episode.
9:19
Speaker 1: I was excited about this because she's blaming the fart
9:23
Speaker 1: on the reason they even had sex in three days. Uh,
9:28
Speaker 1: and then him talk hard to talk about him being perfect,
9:31
Speaker 1: and because she's farted, she's now seen as perfect not
9:35
Speaker 1: perfect and to manly she said one of the boys,
9:38
Speaker 1: such a weird concept. Even when I originally was like,
9:41
Speaker 1: really is it that bad? But the episodes like this
9:43
Speaker 1: are the wasn't like, well obviously I can't. Well that
9:47
Speaker 1: just taught me that I have to be feminine in
9:49
Speaker 1: every way and a lot of the places like there's
9:51
Speaker 1: a whole level of like why did they It's funny
9:54
Speaker 1: but it's problematic. Oh yeah, absolutely, I don't say what
10:03
Speaker 1: makes fool once one time one day, but to time
10:09
Speaker 1: one Also, this is the worst to me. So right
10:12
Speaker 1: now she's interviewing random people about how much how much
10:16
Speaker 1: sex they have and what's normal. And then they have
10:18
Speaker 1: the Asian woman who is the nel salon saying that
10:22
Speaker 1: she has sex once or twice oh day, And I
10:24
Speaker 1: was like, do you have oversexualized Asian women? Once again?
10:26
Speaker 1: This is one of those things like this is probably
10:29
Speaker 1: like it's funny, but it's so problematic that I become like,
10:33
Speaker 1: maybe we should backtrack on this one. Yeah, well run
10:44
Speaker 1: your backs, Like god, I suppose this would make me
10:48
Speaker 1: feel so uncomfortable too. It's like a yoga scene where
10:52
Speaker 1: all the people are pretty much women in the class,
10:55
Speaker 1: but the teachers a man, and he is holding onto
10:59
Speaker 1: her pelvis. He's yeah, holding Samantha's Minutes and three animal
11:06
Speaker 1: positions later, Samantha and Sadartha were sipping green tea. She
11:09
Speaker 1: asked him for a coffee and they went to it.
11:12
Speaker 1: She is always no inhibitions, and I loved that, but also,
11:17
Speaker 1: don't touch women unless they ask you too. I'm so
11:20
Speaker 1: ready for anything, Samantha. Yes, I'm celibate. Oh he said
11:28
Speaker 1: he's celibate. I gave up sex three years ago. Oh
11:32
Speaker 1: my god, are more importantly? Why? And she is shocked.
11:39
Speaker 1: I once was in a situation where, like looking back,
11:43
Speaker 1: both of the dudes were interested and me, and one
11:48
Speaker 1: of them said I'm celibate and I was like, oh,
11:51
Speaker 1: I didn't really know what the band. I was like, okay, cool.
11:53
Speaker 1: Another guy was like are you so an? He was
11:55
Speaker 1: asking me and I was like no. He said, well
11:58
Speaker 1: you're a lot less cool now and he walked away.
12:03
Speaker 1: What has happened to me? That's an interesting way of
12:07
Speaker 1: being like wait, what so was this? What you had
12:11
Speaker 1: a specific type of party that you didn't know about. No, no, no, no,
12:16
Speaker 1: but we were like in freshman year of college. So
12:19
Speaker 1: I don't feel a weird way of saying, like I
12:21
Speaker 1: thought you had a Christian group. No, but he was
12:24
Speaker 1: very Christian. Okay, well the one who walked away with Okay,
12:27
Speaker 1: that makes a lot more sense then. Meeting a friend's
12:34
Speaker 1: new boyfriend for the first time is always a little tense.
12:37
Speaker 1: What if you don't like him? What if he doesn't
12:39
Speaker 1: like you? Kevin, this is my good friend, Carrie. Hey, Carrie,
12:44
Speaker 1: what if you've already slept with him? Whoops her? Oh dear, well,
12:49
Speaker 1: kind of we used to go out. Oh well, kind
12:53
Speaker 1: of used to go out. Even you used to go out.
12:57
Speaker 1: That's so funny. Isn't that funny? As close as you were,
13:02
Speaker 1: did you do you? I feel like I know most
13:04
Speaker 1: of the people like I might not know them face
13:06
Speaker 1: to face, but I know about them when and I
13:08
Speaker 1: wouldn't at least know the name before, right, I would think,
13:13
Speaker 1: so serious? Good, why did you break up? You know
13:18
Speaker 1: we're in different places, and I just carry they don't
13:21
Speaker 1: have time for diplomacy. Just tell me he's a sex maniac.
13:26
Speaker 1: So she just found out that the guy that she's dating,
13:29
Speaker 1: Charlotte was a sex mania quote unquote corn to carry.
13:32
Speaker 1: But they haven't had sex yet, so she really thinks
13:34
Speaker 1: that he's being kind. Oh no, more moved by his restraint.
13:39
Speaker 1: I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience. Mhm.
13:43
Speaker 1: We've been so patient with me. Oh, she said, you're
13:46
Speaker 1: being so patient with me. That shows how much you care.
13:48
Speaker 1: I feel like that should be just a natural, healthy relationship.
13:53
Speaker 1: There's depthing special about respecting people's boundaries. It should be
13:57
Speaker 1: the norm. Well, now they're trying. Yeah, oh boy, I
14:09
Speaker 1: don't think this is gonna work. Why isn't me? No,
14:13
Speaker 1: you're great. I'm just not that sexual guy. It's me
14:19
Speaker 1: and I know it's me. Look Um, Carrie told me
14:24
Speaker 1: that you were quite sexual. In fact, I believe she
14:26
Speaker 1: used the word maniac. That was before for what prosa
14:35
Speaker 1: who I used to be such a message, Mr, I
14:38
Speaker 1: stay in a dude who understand him self. There they
14:48
Speaker 1: were my new neighbors. Mr and Mrs get it On
14:52
Speaker 1: a couple so obviously into each other. There was only
14:55
Speaker 1: one thing to do Mr and Mrs gooding On, which
14:58
Speaker 1: is quite funny. So you do ge to see them
15:00
Speaker 1: having sex, but it's so almost comical. You're like, that's
15:07
Speaker 1: not how sex work. But Carrious turned on, let go
15:13
Speaker 1: turned on? All right? So Doritha was helping Samantha along
15:23
Speaker 1: her newfound path blocks our connection to whatever. Here's the thing.
15:28
Speaker 1: If we're talking about consent again, she he's told her
15:34
Speaker 1: he is selibate. She has gone over to do these
15:38
Speaker 1: new practices. But in her idea that she can change
15:42
Speaker 1: her mind again, that should not be a thing. Yeah, no,
15:46
Speaker 1: I agree this idea that oh it's me that will
15:49
Speaker 1: change you when I can. It's not respecting the decision
15:53
Speaker 1: of someone else, I guess. Is this trying to make
15:57
Speaker 1: the point that, like, women can want more sex than men,
16:01
Speaker 1: and men might not want sex. This is why I
16:03
Speaker 1: will at least say that the showing women as sexual
16:07
Speaker 1: and wanting Yeah, and it's pleasurable for them as well, right,
16:11
Speaker 1: and men kind of being like, no, I'm not into
16:13
Speaker 1: it right now. And also we should be respectful of that. Yeah, Jesus, Carrie,
16:28
Speaker 1: come on, but you not got to go off. I'm
16:30
Speaker 1: trying to watch this fight. Just find what is wrong
16:34
Speaker 1: with you? Why are you acting so nuts? Well, maybe
16:37
Speaker 1: I'm not perfect. Maybe I don't fit into your perfect
16:39
Speaker 1: you know life with your perfect apartment and your perfect
16:42
Speaker 1: pay per view fight. Maybe I should leave the tiny
16:45
Speaker 1: TV for such a big apartment. But this is the thing,
16:49
Speaker 1: This is the thing of that level of like the
16:51
Speaker 1: expectation of like why Carry became the anti like on
16:56
Speaker 1: the show and people like she's kind of annoying no offense,
16:59
Speaker 1: Like is one thing to be absolutely wanting an expectation
17:04
Speaker 1: for yourself, but it is. It's an expectation for herself,
17:06
Speaker 1: Like she put in her head that she had to
17:08
Speaker 1: be these things. Isn't based on misogynistic lifestyle that she
17:11
Speaker 1: has lived, yes, meaning like not just her because all
17:14
Speaker 1: of the patriarchy teaches women to be these things. But yeah,
17:19
Speaker 1: it was definitely in her head without communicating that she
17:21
Speaker 1: needed to be these things to be the perfect girl
17:23
Speaker 1: for him. Yeah, I just I think I'm in love
17:32
Speaker 1: with him and I'm terrified that he's going to leave
17:34
Speaker 1: me because I'm not perfect. All right, So once again
17:39
Speaker 1: it's this whole like pressure that we put out ourselves
17:41
Speaker 1: to be desirable, we must be all the things, and
17:45
Speaker 1: Carry plays that epitome to the point that she's not
17:47
Speaker 1: a good friend. Has she asked any of them their stuff? No,
17:53
Speaker 1: she just keeps on about big. This is where I
17:55
Speaker 1: have a problem perfect. It's something about him. I'm not
18:00
Speaker 1: And I think this happens to a lot of us
18:02
Speaker 1: where we you put on like first dates, you put
18:06
Speaker 1: on this like air and I am pervate. I don't
18:08
Speaker 1: have any issues that I don't have any issues, but
18:10
Speaker 1: eventually they're going to come out. You can't keep it
18:12
Speaker 1: like a fart. You can't keep it together all the time. Yeah,
18:15
Speaker 1: we just talk about We talked about that recently, about
18:16
Speaker 1: the makeup, about trying to look perfect when we wake up,
18:19
Speaker 1: and she did the same thing. But it came to
18:23
Speaker 1: the point that because she couldn't keep that up, now
18:25
Speaker 1: she's losing him right higher standards, by the way, which
18:30
Speaker 1: is coming back out as men are on podcast talking
18:34
Speaker 1: about how women need to be all of these things
18:36
Speaker 1: for them to be desirable and trying to tell women
18:39
Speaker 1: what they should be. They want to be married, right
18:41
Speaker 1: and if they're not, they're gonna be single forever, which
18:42
Speaker 1: is like, okay, yeah, not release and breathe unless you're
18:55
Speaker 1: planning to move those hands down, get them off me
19:00
Speaker 1: and done. Dawson, she had reached the end of her
19:03
Speaker 1: path and her patience forehead. No, she's just randomly asking dudes,
19:11
Speaker 1: who do you girl that level of commitment? Yeah, one
19:21
Speaker 1: of Yeah, the Goldia guy ready to go. Samantha spent
19:29
Speaker 1: the rest of the afternoon having multiple yogasms yogasms fun.
19:44
Speaker 1: Later that night, Charlotte was determined to prove she was
19:47
Speaker 1: stronger than selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. No, I think it's
19:54
Speaker 1: starting to Charlotte, it's not and I'm beginning to chief
20:03
Speaker 1: see this is another problematic. So he's found a way
20:05
Speaker 1: to stabilize and she's trying to get him to change.
20:11
Speaker 1: And when he's happy with it, yeah, And then he's like,
20:14
Speaker 1: don't you want a stable, good guy rather than a
20:18
Speaker 1: sex maniac who is an as And she's like, no,
20:23
Speaker 1: I mean you could have bows, you could have a
20:25
Speaker 1: stable He's not the one to move it on, but
20:28
Speaker 1: still to expect someone to come off of their medication
20:32
Speaker 1: sex life not not cool. All I could think was
20:42
Speaker 1: why aren't we having sex? Is this normal? What's wrong?
20:47
Speaker 1: We could discover the sex couple. M Oh, we can
20:52
Speaker 1: do better than that. He says, are you going to
20:55
Speaker 1: pick her up and turn her upside down. No, you can't,
21:00
Speaker 1: and that's fine, but let's be realistic. Someone's gonna pull
21:04
Speaker 1: their back. We've got to be real about what's gonna
21:10
Speaker 1: happen here. We're all gonna get hurt doing this. It's
21:13
Speaker 1: not important. Don't do it if you can, wonderful. I'm
21:20
Speaker 1: impressed with you, but don't do it for the sake
21:22
Speaker 1: of showing all No, no, no, all right. So Annie,
21:44
Speaker 1: you got half of it right, So you get two
21:48
Speaker 1: point five stars out of five. Oh. I love that
21:51
Speaker 1: we're changing the rating system every time because you work correct.
21:55
Speaker 1: There is like some like sex that sex doesn't happen,
21:58
Speaker 1: but it's not necessarily anishment withholding it was more of
22:02
Speaker 1: like embarrassment being perfect, feeling like maybe your relationship was
22:06
Speaker 1: wrong because you weren't having enough sex. Whether or not
22:09
Speaker 1: you should have sex all the time? Who needs sex?
22:12
Speaker 1: And what's normal for people? Yes, this one overboard and
22:15
Speaker 1: trying to show that women are sexual. I did appreciate that,
22:18
Speaker 1: But there are definitely a lot of tropes of like
22:20
Speaker 1: why are we making the other the the partner feel
22:23
Speaker 1: like they have to do something at the same time
22:25
Speaker 1: we that we also need to be deserving somehow of
22:28
Speaker 1: best sex as well by being perfect, and that is
22:30
Speaker 1: going to be rewarded all bad. So you get two
22:35
Speaker 1: point five out of five, two stars out of four.
22:37
Speaker 1: We'll see that two out of four, two out of
22:41
Speaker 1: four because you did get half of it. So I
22:45
Speaker 1: don't think that ever really comes up about the withholding
22:50
Speaker 1: as in like punishing people. That's never really said in
22:53
Speaker 1: the trying to think about the past episodes. I don't
22:56
Speaker 1: think that's the thing, because that's a trope in a
22:59
Speaker 1: lot of of uh comedies and sitcomsin do see like
23:04
Speaker 1: a New Girl does that like turning off the tap.
23:07
Speaker 1: You're not whatever withholding things, it's supposed to be funny
23:10
Speaker 1: and then they can't resist each other. But this is
23:13
Speaker 1: more of like who deserves it? How are you supposed
23:15
Speaker 1: to compensate for it? Is this normal? What is normal?
23:18
Speaker 1: So I think that conversation is great. It never really
23:20
Speaker 1: talks about lack of sucks. So definitely a sexuality is
23:24
Speaker 1: out the door. Celibacy is out the door. It's punished
23:28
Speaker 1: and regretted of almost Yeah, yeah, like very sad. Yeah, yeah,
23:33
Speaker 1: I mean I think that's really interesting. I think there
23:36
Speaker 1: is all there of as we talk about with a
23:40
Speaker 1: lot of things, it's hard to separate what society tells
23:42
Speaker 1: us is natural and what we should want, and there's
23:46
Speaker 1: a lot of sexist and misogyny in there um versus
23:50
Speaker 1: what you actually want, and that can be really hard
23:53
Speaker 1: to nail down. I am also happy they're showing sexual women,
23:57
Speaker 1: and I'm happy they showed men who didn't want to
24:00
Speaker 1: have sex, but I feel like they did it in
24:02
Speaker 1: a pretty trophy way, like problematic way, um, But I
24:07
Speaker 1: am happy that they were, like, you know, men don't
24:08
Speaker 1: always want sex. Sometimes women do want sex, which is
24:11
Speaker 1: this very gendered stereotype that we have that women are
24:13
Speaker 1: always the ones that are like no, and men are
24:16
Speaker 1: always like yes, go go go. Yeah. I do want
24:18
Speaker 1: to come back to I know I always bring up
24:20
Speaker 1: a fan fiction, but I read this one fan fiction
24:23
Speaker 1: that was about an a sexual character dating someone who's
24:26
Speaker 1: really sexual, and the person who was really sexual I
24:31
Speaker 1: thought the other person was withholding sex even though they
24:34
Speaker 1: knew the sexuality, like um, and it was interesting because
24:38
Speaker 1: he felt he was being punished, but the other person
24:41
Speaker 1: was just like, oh I didn't it's not a thing
24:43
Speaker 1: for me, Like I don't think of it in that way,
24:45
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to communicate that to me, because
24:46
Speaker 1: I'm happy to like, I love you and I if
24:50
Speaker 1: as long as there are multiple things we can do
24:52
Speaker 1: depending on where I am and where you are. But
24:55
Speaker 1: I just don't think about it like you do. And
24:58
Speaker 1: that I cried and cried and cry because I was
25:00
Speaker 1: like that is exactly like I just don't think about
25:02
Speaker 1: it like that. It's interesting to kind of see this
25:05
Speaker 1: like celibate characters, so tragic that this is happening, and
25:13
Speaker 1: kind of an evolving of that conversation, like essentially it
25:16
Speaker 1: was like he was missing out on Samantha, so not
25:20
Speaker 1: necessarily that he was missing out on sex because he
25:22
Speaker 1: was perfectly happy with it. And that's the thing, is like, Okay,
25:25
Speaker 1: we live it at that um dude who was on prozac,
25:28
Speaker 1: which I actually did, data dude who was on prozac,
25:31
Speaker 1: and he had a very live luster sex uh libido
25:35
Speaker 1: like he did, Like we had sex a couple of times,
25:37
Speaker 1: but after that it just wasn't a thing, and it
25:39
Speaker 1: made me feel like I was doing something bad. So
25:41
Speaker 1: it made me feel like I think, and we had
25:43
Speaker 1: to have a conversation because I didn't understand it UM, like,
25:47
Speaker 1: all right, maybe you should get on the correct if
25:49
Speaker 1: that's something important. And I guess it wasn't, and it
25:51
Speaker 1: may have been me, who knows, uh, And it did,
25:54
Speaker 1: but it felt a judgment on me because also like
25:58
Speaker 1: it had been from the point like, oh now I'm
25:59
Speaker 1: I'm pride him and I've kind of now understand sex
26:03
Speaker 1: and a healthy manner, let's go type of conversation, and
26:06
Speaker 1: then that happened. I did feel like that. But that's
26:08
Speaker 1: a part of again, the misogynistic tone that the world
26:11
Speaker 1: has in places on both all the genders and trying
26:16
Speaker 1: to figure out what sexuality is and what normal was
26:18
Speaker 1: not and there's not a such thing when it comes
26:20
Speaker 1: down to it. There's not a such thing that's not
26:22
Speaker 1: a normal when it comes to sexuality, preference and all
26:26
Speaker 1: of that, and like numbers number wise, that's an average statistic,
26:30
Speaker 1: but that's not necessarily the norm. Yeah, And I think
26:34
Speaker 1: it's important too to keep in mind, like as with
26:41
Speaker 1: a lot of things in relationships, there's a lot of
26:44
Speaker 1: projecting going on. I think it a lot of times
26:46
Speaker 1: it's about you. So for these characters in this episode,
26:49
Speaker 1: I feel like the women who are used to being
26:53
Speaker 1: sexually desired who are used to being the ones that
26:55
Speaker 1: have to shut it down when they encounter a man.
26:58
Speaker 1: And again this is very like stereotypical trophy. But when
27:02
Speaker 1: they encounter a man that's like no, it feels like, oh,
27:05
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with me then, because this men always
27:08
Speaker 1: want sex, right, so if they don't, then it must
27:12
Speaker 1: be me. It's my fault, right. But people, a lot
27:15
Speaker 1: of times, I really think it's all to do with
27:18
Speaker 1: like the person, and let's to be with you on
27:21
Speaker 1: both side, any sides. It's that's the thing too, was like, again,
27:26
Speaker 1: there's at least the immediate breakdown was embarrassment, but communication
27:30
Speaker 1: lack of communication and understanding. That was the media beginning. Uh,
27:35
Speaker 1: and then it moves on to more things. But then
27:37
Speaker 1: like the other part too, that to me is that
27:40
Speaker 1: whole like three months is too long, week like weekly
27:44
Speaker 1: thing and all these things. I'm like, really, because I've
27:47
Speaker 1: gone years without having sex or a year or several months,
27:52
Speaker 1: and that I would get confused that with wanting intimacy
27:56
Speaker 1: and that just come hug me, you know, yeah, yeah,
28:02
Speaker 1: from whatever sex that you're attracted to, Like, I just
28:06
Speaker 1: want someone to tell me I'm pretty and giving you
28:11
Speaker 1: a soldier, like a shoulder massage. That's all. I just
28:14
Speaker 1: I don't think allowed because it did come from this. Actually,
28:16
Speaker 1: I would say, I just need someone to lay on me,
28:18
Speaker 1: and I mean that literally, just lay on top of me. Thanks, yeah, yeah, yeah,
28:24
Speaker 1: And I am happy that we're seeing those conversations become
28:27
Speaker 1: more prevalent too. Of like, intimacy can look all these
28:31
Speaker 1: different ways. It doesn't have to be sex. It can
28:33
Speaker 1: be all kinds of things. And there's some things depending
28:36
Speaker 1: on who you are in the situation that you know,
28:38
Speaker 1: like kissing might feel more intimate to you than sex.
28:41
Speaker 1: Like there's all these levels, and I'm glad that we're
28:44
Speaker 1: moving away from kind of sex and the orgasm being
28:49
Speaker 1: the and all be all ultimate. It can be. It
28:52
Speaker 1: can look so many different ways it is, and it's
28:55
Speaker 1: true and I also love that. But yeah, there you go,
28:59
Speaker 1: You got you go. I'm going to do three different
29:03
Speaker 1: skills that kind of sorry, all right, y'all, and we
29:08
Speaker 1: are going to do our finale and hopefully we'll have
29:11
Speaker 1: a special guest not to teasing thing too much, and
29:13
Speaker 1: soon after we would like to do some more things,
29:15
Speaker 1: including maybe have one of your listeners come and talk
29:19
Speaker 1: to us about this show. Give us your perspective. Yes,
29:22
Speaker 1: I think it'd be great, so look out for that.
29:26
Speaker 1: Um and in the meantime, if you would like to
29:29
Speaker 1: contact as you can our emails, Stephanie, your mom, Stepp
29:32
Speaker 1: at I hurt me dot com, think about us on
29:34
Speaker 1: Twitter at months, to podcasts or Instagram at stuff I've
29:36
Speaker 1: never told you things as always to a super producer, Christina,
29:39
Speaker 1: the best, Yes, the best, and thanks to you for
29:42
Speaker 1: listening stuff and never told the protection of I Heart Radio.
29:44
Speaker 1: For more podcast my Heart Radio, visit I Heart Radio app,
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Speaker 1: Apple podcast or radio. Listening to your favorite shows