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We Live In An “Absence Of Truth” World · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:31
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:04
  John Mitchell: Hey, it I'm John Michell. So today, we got really two concepts to talk about Kelly. And the first one is that we live in an absence of truth world, where there's no real facts today, there's only opinions. So that's, that's the first one. And the second one is, is a little more lighthearted. In regards the five key phrases or words that indicate a great romantic relationship. And ginger, and I've been playing with this for a little while. So with those two, let's roll into the first one. So what do you think? Do you think we live in an absence of truth world today?
• 1:50
  Kelly Hatfield: I do. Like and, you know, to the point to where I don't think that there's a day that goes by where either it's news, or I'm reading something or, you know, where I'm not just shaking my head that later, and that so much of the things that are being said can easily be back checked, you can go and do the research to say, Well, wait a minute, this doesn't make sense. We just had that recent case, you know, the recent thing that came up with the the gals, rebuttal, you know, to the GOP rebuttal to the State of the Union, right, she referenced something that happened that was not in this President's presidency, you know, and right, Inferred, you know, and used it as a jumping off point. And it's like, well, wait a minute here, you know, right. Right. So you see it every single day. And the sad part is you see it every single day with leadership. Yeah. And yeah, worry about it. What is happening, you know, right now, and has been happening, you know, over the course of the last several years, where the truth just continues to get degrade more and more. Right?
• 3:00
  John Mitchell: Well, and, you know, I really think that this is the most fundamental problem we have in our society today. And, and I, I've come up with three examples, and, and hopefully an intelligent takeaway from this, but it's very much in line with what you just said. But as an example, you know, one of the topics today is that we talked about rising crime today. And the fact is, you know, yes, crime is, is rising, but when you when you really look at it, most of the crime is happening by a very small percentage of the population mean, most, most people are not criminals, they're not doing going out there and, and committing crimes, the crimes are being committed by repeat offenders, you know, people that have 50 100 convictions on? Well, you know, that's a fact. You know, and, and, you know, then you look at, well, what's what's been the effect? What should be the effect of that? Well, the effect should be that we ought to be really tough on repeat offenders. And, and, you know, that becomes, in the national conversation, you know, there's this, this push by the progressive left to be soft on criminals, and that somehow, liking people that commit crimes up is racist. Well, that's a perfect example of ignoring the facts. If If most of the crimes are being committed by repeat offenders, then taking action based on that fact would would say, lock them up and throw away the key to some degree for repeat offenders. And but this idea that has circulated over the last 10 years of being soft on crime because it's racist. That's just nonsense thinking from from not paying attention to the facts when Do you agree with that?
• 5:01
  Kelly Hatfield: I would agree with, you know, and we, you know, so from a political standpoint, we kind of are on different pages. But
• 5:09
  John Mitchell: that's the beauty of us. Yes.
• 5:12
  Kelly Hatfield: But I will say something in here I will, I will speak more so from the heart, because, listen, I don't know enough about what you're talking about from crime rates. And all of those, I know what I hear, and not to what we were talking about at the beginning, which is around the truth. And hate line is you can spin any numbers you want to, and have them say what you want them to say. And that is part of what's been happening over the course of the last several years, too, because fear, we know, based on what we teach, and how our minds are wired, is what sells, it's what keeps people's interest. It's what gets them to vote. It's what and so these narratives around the rising crime rate, and all of those things are, you know, are there for that reason, because to your point, as far as the you know, them not rising. Really, when you look at the numbers, it's by repeat offenders. It's not that we're all of a sudden, just a nation of people who everybody's committing crimes. Right. Right. You know what I mean? And so, you know, I think that, for me, is when we're talking about these false narratives, and the truth, and how that's degrading. It's sad to watch how it's being weaponized to influence people one way or another. And, you know, and it's not the truth. And unfortunately, most people will not go and do the research to lie to understand they just take it at face value. And parent, then whatever they're hearing through whatever one source they're getting their information from. And so anyway, I don't know enough about crime. And about that topic to you're not an expert on crime to speak intelligently and know, listen, hey, I know why you're,you're not out there all town.
• 7:09
  You know what I mean?
• 7:10
  John Mitchell: You're not out there committing crimes? Is that what you're telling me? I'm not. And you know, what, like, Listen, I'm glad you gave that up.
• 7:18
  Kelly Hatfield: And I'm gonna speak like I came from Washington State, you know, like, I'm not in some of the areas that are, you know, where the population where there's a huge diverse population, you know, so it's hard for me to speak to some of these things. The human side of me says, Well, yeah, you know, you've got repeat offenders, because we've got all kinds of other issues that need to be addressed at the UN, that's the part of me that, you know, wants to help people and how do we stop people from being repeat offenders or for or from offending in the first place? And yeah, but when race comes into it, and all of that, that's where I'm just like, I don't have any place to speak here, other than I know what's right and wrong. You know what I mean? Well, I'm
• 7:59
  John Mitchell: glad you gave up that life of crime that you were doing on when I met you.
• 8:05
  Kelly Hatfield: Squeaky Clean over here?
• 8:09
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I tell you, you don't have any, you know, we have this discussion about crime if, if it was my job to solve it, you know, to your point, going get the actual facts, make make decisions, based on facts? Not, not, you know, maybe the shorthand facts that you think are the facts actually go and find out how much is crime rising? And how, and maybe you use Chad GPT and understand more clearly, well, what are the facts relative to how many of the crimes are being committed by repeat offenders? But, but I guess the point of this whole discussion is that when, when you don't deal in facts, then you can never move forward on anything, because in everything is just a matter of opinion. And it's you just go in this argument loop. And you know, here's another one, that is an example of just get the facts. You know, you hear today that the COVID vaccine was bad. I mean, you've heard that right. Yeah. And, and I'm like, you know, that's ridiculous. You know, we have 350 million people in this country. And we create this vaccine. And I bet I didn't even know this until last week. Did you know that the people that created it, the two people that created it, won the Nobel Prize? Oh, really? I didn't know. Yeah, but you know, and so in the United States, we lost a little over a million people to COVID. And so the COVID vaccine has saved arguably millions of lives, but did it was it harmful to some people? Absolutely. I mean, you could give sugar pills to 350 million people, and there would be adverse consequences. But you know, that's another example of if you can't get at the facts, then you can't move forward on on, you know, that discussion maybe in the future of vaccines. And it gets more into that matter of opinion. And, and then maybe the third one that typically irritates me is the big lie that Trump won the election, and that it was stolen from me. Uh, you know, I am, I have no tolerance for that, that one, because I'm like, there's not a scintilla of evidence to support that. And here's the downside of that, that belief. And I asked some friends of mine, some intelligent friends of mine, that believe that, but here's the downside of this. And then maybe to put this in perspective, this is when I really got off the Trump bandwagon because while I didn't vote for him, I thought he did some good things, but But you know, how he treated people disgusted me. And but in the last election, about three weeks before the election, he comes on, and he says, you know, if we don't win this election, the only way we don't win it is if it's rigged. And I'm like, whoa, whoa,
• 11:31
  Kelly Hatfield: Table, he's, you know, he's
• 11:33
  John Mitchell: Absolutely, yeah, I'm like, when I heard that, I'm like, okay, because I wasn't sure which way I was gonna vote. I'm like, I am done with you, Donald. I, that's, that's a problem, because you're setting yourself up to be a victim. And, and sure enough, when he lost, he blamed it on the election being rigged, when in fact, what he should have done is he should have looked in the mirror and gone, well, you know, I lost and I lost because of how I treated people, and how my demeanor and my Ella, you know, all the things that that are sort of negative about Donald Trump, look in the mirror, that's why you'll you lost, not because the election was rigged. And you know, to me, this whole thing with Trump is particularly frustrating, because he promotes victimhood in this country. And I think that's a huge problem where, where people look in the mirror, they're not happy with their life, but they're blaming somebody else other than that person in the mirror. Yeah, you know. And so that's, that's an example of where, you know, when you don't admit the facts and and seek the truth, you can never move forward. Because I, I, I run into this with my friends. I just had this discussion with a friend of mine, yesterday and on the boat. And and we got into this. And, Jim, there's not a scintilla of evidence to support that. I mean, if you got it, please give it to me. Well, you know, they never have it in the end, you know? And, and so where do we go from there? We, we can go anywhere? No,
• 13:19
  Kelly Hatfield: No. Well, you have had so many court cases, yeah. Evidence like, and they're, they're like, Nope, you don't have a leg to stand on. Like this didn't happen. We have all kinds of proof that people did lie, you know, they're in jail for it, you know, we're going to jail for it, you know, all of these things that are proving otherwise, you know, and yet you still aren't able to, you know, and that's the scary part about really what's happened over the course of the last several years. And you know, it's funny, you're talking about what what Trump should have done was looked in the mirror. Well, narcissistic people don't do that. I'm not a psychologist, but it doesn't really take one to see. But it's, it's being demonstrated in front of us on a daily basis with him, right? So he doesn't have that in him to look at himself and take any accountability for anything. And that's why like, he saw the writing on the wall. That's why he started to set the because he's not a loser in his mind, even though he is. He's a loser, loser. But that's the way to he was making it right. In his mind. We're like, oh, my gosh, well, the only way I can't win is if it's stolen. You know, like, because I'm too great for that, you know, yeah. You lost because you suck, you know?
• 14:30
  John Mitchell: Well, and, you know, that's, that's true, you know, with you and me when we've not done well, like in our business is because we didn't deserve to win whatever, you know, whatever adverse thing happened. We created that. Just like whatever good thing happened. We created that as well. Well,
• 14:51
  Kelly Hatfield: It's well, it's great leaders. Take radical accountability. Yeah. So for when things aren't going Uh, you know, the way that they should be going you shoulder that and blame is a, you know, has a negative connotation, but like, listen, the buck stops with you, you're the leader, right? Things aren't going well, that's on you. And then it also is true, you know that if things are going well, and you're killing it, well, guess what, you know, you need to give credit to your team and everything, but you're the one leading the charge. So take that off, read it to you, it works out, you know, on both sides of things. And I think that's, you know, it's interesting. But again, you have to, we talk about this all the time, clarity, self awareness, the ability to look at yourself and to say, oh, you know, I need to tweak a couple of things here, make some changes. But to do that, you have to be truthful with yourself, like real thing that is, you know, we've become more and more diluted based on what we're seeing every day to just say anything you want to say, and then explain your way out of it later, you know, and what I don't get, and this is, again, on this subject of the truth, using that example of that GOP response to the union that Kate Cakebread or whatever name, and stating that the incident that happened, you know, that was related to trafficking, immigration, you know, that kind of thing. And it didn't happen. And like, you know, what, this is where two things can be true, like people are trafficked every frickin day. Right? Why not use a story that's relevant, that drives your home point, there are probably hundreds of them. Right. Could have been used to drive that point home? Why choose one? You know, that can be first of all fact checked that you can look at right, wait a minute, that's that hasn't happened during Biden's presidency. Where's that coming from? Like, why not just stick with the truth? It because there's plenty of facts, and probably plenty of cases that could have been brought up to illustrate that very same point. And so that's what I don't get either is it's like, like, laziness. It's lazy. Well, you know, now they're having to deal with all this bloat blowback, and they look like a bunch of a holes. And you know what I mean? Right? You know, whereas if you had just done your research and told the truth, that illustrated that very same story and point, I wouldn't be dealing with all this, your message would have gone across Now you look like a bunch of liars that were trying to manipulate the, you know, the the story and everything to get what you wanted out. So anyway, I will tell
• 17:36
  John Mitchell: You, I don't even understand the concept of the response to the State of the Union. And again, I'm, well, I used to be a Republican, I'm independent now. But but I'm like, you know, it's the President of the United States. He's going to talk to us one time a year. Why do we need to have the the other response, you know, because all they're gonna do is come out? And say you basically the opposite of whatever. He said, I didn't even watch it. I'm like,
• 18:09
  Kelly Hatfield: I was, so I had to go back and do that. Oh, you have to because SNL did a whole parody of it. Yeah, I saw that. Well, I mean, like, it doesn't, it was so good. The parody was, but when you go back and watch the original, you will die. It'll be even funnier. Because it isn't like, she did a really good. Yeah, it was crazy. So I watched it only after it got picked up on mainstream and people were like, What the heck was this? You know, and then I went back and watched, not all of it, because I just couldn't take it. But I was like, Whoa, what is happening?
• 18:48
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I think the takeaway from from all this is critical as a functioning human being today and society, to look at the facts when when you got to, because when you when you deal with facts, then you can take the proper actions. You know, it's like, if, if I have a health issue, I'm just gonna get the facts, what are the facts, you know, and then I'm going to evaluate the facts and take action accordingly. As opposed to talking to this doctor, that doctor, you know, what's your opinion, that does be very little good, but facts are the key. And you know, as this applies to our 12 minute a day methodology, I put this in my visualization to look for the facts and do in in the fact world as opposed to the opinion world. So
• 19:43
  Kelly Hatfield: I have that in my visualization. I asked myself on a regular basis. Is this true? So even when I'm like, myself, even if it's a thought process that I'm having, maybe I'm going down up like I'm starting to worry or I'm starting, like, I'll say, is this true? Like, really? Is this the? And then I'll be like, Oh, let me do a little bit. Yeah, actually, that isn't true. This is an emotional response I'm having. Well, and I've made this something different than it actually is. So you know what I knew. But you have to, you have to train yourself to do that. Is this true?
• 20:19
  John Mitchell: Right? Well, you know, that's the beauty of when you condition the subconscious mind, you at once is condition you do it automatically without thinking, right? Yeah. So pretty easy. Well, you know, moving on to a lighter topic. You know, I was reading this past week, this article about how in a romantic relationship, there are five words or phrases that indicate a great relationship. And so here's the five words or phrases. The first one is saying thank you. The second one is saying, I'm sorry, or I apologize. The third one is saying I like you. The fourth one is saying I'm committed to you. And the fifth one is helped me understand. And so I was telling ginger about this. And she says, you know, do you really think we need to say that we're committed to each other? Um, why? And because she know, it's just given with us, as I'm sure it is with you in JIRA. But I see the value of saying it, you know, that, hey, I'm committed to, to you to hire us. You know, even though we've been married, you know, 12 years and what you've been made married 40 years, right, coming on
• 21:46
  Kelly Hatfield: Coming on 30.
• 21:52
  John Mitchell: But still, it's you know, it's good to hear that you're committed. And then you know, that one, I liked you. Well, did you ever say that to Jared?
• 22:04
  Kelly Hatfield: I will say I when I'm dying laughing because he's so funny. I will always say to him, You are my favorite person. Like, I will say that which I would equate to like, you know, I another than I love you, but I don't know whether I say like you I'll say I'll tell him he's my favorite person all the time.
• 22:23
  John Mitchell: Right? That's they'll, that's probably the the equivalent. Well, and you know, I look at the Jan's and I do, I just like to judge she's just, you know, like,
• 22:34
  Kelly Hatfield: I like that you call her that.
• 22:38
  John Mitchell: She calls herself that she is you know, when I first started dating her, you know, as she is she's she's five feet tall, daddy, five pounds. And then shortly after, I don't know, you know, we've basically when we became girlfriend boyfriend, I'd call her Jin Jad. Uh huh. And because she looks like a jet jet,
• 23:02
  Kelly Hatfield: She is because she's just a mini. She's just this teeny tiny but a sparkplug, like just filled with energy. And yeah,
• 23:09
  John Mitchell: Right. Right. But you know, you can't help it. She's got the like Jared does. She's got a great sense of humor. So it's an I tell her, you know, I like you. And, and because that's almost, you know, you could love somebody and not like him.
• 23:25
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, yeah. No, I've said that to people. Before like, I love you. I'm obligated to but I don't
• 23:35
  John Mitchell: know, right. Like, and not so great.
• 23:38
  Kelly Hatfield: That's still up for debate, we'll see. And,
• 23:42
  John Mitchell: You know, even the word, the saying the word. Thank you is we do that a lot. Do you and Jared say thank you a lot all the time.
• 23:50
  Kelly Hatfield: I mean, I think that's one of the things that is being appreciative of each other and not taking the stuff for granted that right, you know, like we had a tree fall. The other day we had a windstorm here and he repaired the fence took the you know, cut the tree up, do all that stuff. And I was like, thank you so much for doing that. You know, and I know that was a lot of work and, again, are just like acknowledging, because again, we talk about this all the time. And especially in the relationship portion where we're talking that whole mirroring, you know, when you show up some way, like when I compliment or thank him for things that he's doing, he does the same to me. And that's part of like love language, like I don't need really much other than to just just acknowledgement that like, Hey, I appreciate you and what you do around here, you know, that's all I really need. And so, because I know that about myself, too. I think it's important to give that I don't know whether it matters that much to him. I'm not sure
• 24:50
  John Mitchell: But does price me it does you know men love to be complimented or praised.
• 24:58
  Kelly Hatfield: So ya know, so no, I wouldn't Ain't that wood is a is a cornerstone, I'm huge on being thankful and gracious and yeah, just having gratitude for, you know, everything I probably say thank you, in my relationship with with Jared. I mean, it's anytime I acknowledge that I'm thankful for something that he does I say it.
• 25:16
  John Mitchell: Right, right. You know, as I've told you before, you know, I trained my subconscious mind to give to compliment today. And the first one's already always, you know, first thing in the morning with the Jantsch. And, you know, there's, there's power that I see how that subtle thing that I'm doing facilitates just this good vibe between us, you know, it starts the morning off. Well, and I hold myself to being accountable to that second compliment dirt when we eat dinner. And I don't know been doing this for I don't know how long, many, many years. But it's powerful
• 25:55
  Kelly Hatfield: To real quick, John on the point about on this, and when we tie it to our methodology to and I know, we've talked about the reticular activating system, we've talked about programming the subconscious mind, you know, but when I know that one of my priorities is for the people around me to feel appreciated, and that's something I do in my marriage. It's like, anything, whatever you look for, you'll find, yeah, so my brain is looking for things to say, to appreciate him for. Yeah, and the other people in my life with my team, I do the same thing where I'm calling out stuff that they, but it's because I programmed my subconscious mind to look for those things. Because the stuffs there too, if I wanted to point out focus on all the crappy stuff doesn't go like or maybe that where they fall short or whatever, listen, you could be a nag and pick on all of those things, too. You know what I mean? But I have programmed my subconscious to look for the good and for things that I can acknowledge people about, and that makes all the difference in the quality of your relationships.
• 27:01
  John Mitchell: Right? You know, I'd say the great thing about life is you I've realized at this point that you can create whatever of your life you want. And it all comes down to, to creating it in your subconscious mind. Because when you when you feed, like this saint articulation of your life to yourself each day, it impacts the thoughts that Greg created. And then the thoughts create the actions. And you know, that's, that's the essence of bar methodology is this idea that the thoughts in your head, create the success you have in life, and also your enjoyment, and the fact that that you can program your yourself in a certain way so that the proper thoughts get generated. That's the beauty of it. And that's, that's, that's why in the end, you can create the life you want through programming your subconscious mind. And, you know, the other phrase in there that are two phrases that are interesting is saying, I'm sorry, I apologize, and also helped me understand. And you know, whenever ginger, and I have a disagreement, we shouldn't happen very often. But when it does, I certainly tried to go help me understand your point of view on this, you know, let me see this. And, you know, inevitably, her point of view is always valid. It may not be what I agree with, but it's valid from Earth standpoint, and I have to acknowledge it. And you know, once you sort of see things from the other point of view, or at least try to, that eliminates problems right there.
• 28:47
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, absolutely. That's the first to understand. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation with someone when you don't understand where they're coming from, and what you know, and knowing that whatever that little nuances can give you some insight and go, Oh, okay. Like I see now where this is coming from and why it like, yeah, it's it changes the entire conversation and narrative and the way you can communicate with someone. The other thing too, and we've talked about this a million times, people want to feel seen and heard. Right? And so by asking them, help me understand why you feel the way you do about this or whatever, you are immediately validating them, you are immediately seeing and hearing them, it changes the for it changes the your relationship and how you're communicating when you come at it from that, you know, from that vantage point.
• 29:43
  John Mitchell: Yeah, that's a very good point. Well, and on that point, we will wrap this up. So until next time, we'll see you.
• 29:55
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's show, Episode send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at Kelli at think it'd be att.com or John at think it'd be att.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life