Latest / The Checkpoint Podcast: Questions / Episode 17 | What have you learnt that you wish you’d known at 30?

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Episode 17 | What have you learnt that you wish you’d known at 30? · The Checkpoint Podcast: Questions

• speaker-0: Okay, ⁓ we are recording. All right, tell me, Mish. What have you learned that you wished you'd known at 30? What have what have you learned that you wished you'd known at 30? speaker-1: Okay, so things that I've learned about myself. Yeah. That I'm a lot more resilient than I thought I was. Uh-huh. ⁓ a lot more confident than I thought I was, a lot more capable than I thought I was. Yep. And a lot more compassionate than I thought I was. Because when you're 30, you're too busy trying to raise small kids. speaker-0: ⁓ yeah, yep. speaker-1: trying to live life, trying to be married, trying to have a house, trying to work. And you sort of put yourself second and you sort of don't have the confidence to s try new things or you know it's it's everyone else before you as especially as a female as a mum. You know, I used to think I want to try this ⁓ but I mightn't be able to do that because I might I won't have time and then I won't be able you know I'm not good enough or you know but I think that speaker-0: Yeah, I've heard of that. speaker-1: Getting into nursing in my 50s has taught me, wow, you are so patient, you are so you're more patient, resilient, confident, capable than you ever thought you were at 30. ⁓ Yeah. So, and I sort of go with the flow. And if there's a new opportunity, I'll just take it. I have also learned that you should take an opportunity, even though you don't realize at the time it's an opportunity. speaker-0: Yeah. It's ⁓ it it's funny, you know, somebody asked me the other day, ⁓ like what what's what's age taught you? And they were asking about you know, they would always reference things to age, you know, like for example, if you woke up and something was hurting and they would say, ⁓ it's because you're getting old. It's like, no, no, no. Like it has nothing to do with that. Like I don't I I'm it's not like I'm trying to say that I'm not aging, but I don't associate those sorts of things ⁓ with being old. But the one thing that I do associate with ⁓ getting older and being more wiser is your capacity to give us stuff less about what other people would think. Yep. And so, you know, like what you said, when you're given an opportunity, ⁓ sometimes the opportunities that you decline, especially when you're younger, are based off, you know, what you said. Like, I might not do this. ⁓ what if I fail? People will laugh at me. ⁓ I don't want to make and like as you get older. that kind of thinking of what other people will think sort of goes away. And at the end you just go, you know what, I'm just gonna try it. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And I'll just try something else. You know, that's one of the things that I've it's it's almost like I've used it as a as a as a crux to allow myself to do something that I probably wouldn't normally have done if I was a bit more aware of what other people would think. Yeah. You know, it's it's kind of like ⁓ speaker-1: I think right. You're right in that sense that you do when you're younger, especially in your thirties, you do worry about what people think and how they perceive you if you make a wrong decision or a right decision. Nevertheless, if it's something they agree or disagree with. So do worry about what other people think, especially close family and friends. Yeah. ⁓ it's not what's expected of you. But you know, I've learned now at this age, you you just do what's expected of yourself. Yeah. Don't worry about what other people think. Because they're not the ones living your life. speaker-0: Yep. Yep. Can I say, ⁓ much props to becoming a nurse at fifty, like that's that's ⁓ that's no that's ⁓ no easy feat. ⁓ well I I think even even generally being a nurse at any age, even if you decide to be a nurse straight out of school, I know it's it's like such a difficult thing. You know, you've got long hours, you've got to deal with ⁓ some stuff that I I just could not have to deal with. ⁓ and then on top of that, you you add the age factor in and it's like wow. speaker-1: Yeah. A hard job. speaker-0: Look at you. Well done. speaker-1: Yeah, why not? Why not? I think it's it's a good thing. speaker-0: Okay. There's another question. There was a perfect question when you when when you told me it was fifty, instantly I'm like, ⁓ my God, like that's really awesome. And it thought me it reminded me of a question that I was asked previously, but I'm gonna look for it now. ⁓ because I wanna ask ⁓ okay, is it all right, this is a question. ⁓ tell me Mish, is it too late to start again? speaker-1: Absolutely not. It is never too late to start anything. If you have the time and the motivation and the inclination and the passion for something, it's never too late to start. Anything in life that you choose or want to do, you can make it happen. speaker-0: Give me some justifications. So tell me how so when when you did decide to ⁓ to to want to be a nurse at that age it internally, what did you struggle with? What did you have to kind of overcome at any point? Were you just like, ⁓ maybe this isn't for me? Like how did you get you know speaker-1: I had many of those moments. It was an 18 month full time course. ⁓ really? Yeah. So it was four days a week. ⁓ three days full time, ⁓ nine till three thirty in class tutorials. And then it was a half day Wednesday, which was practical in the lab. So, you know, things like just terminology, medical terminology. I thought I'm never gonna I'm never gonna remember that. It was so to overcome the fact that I didn't study ⁓ pathophysiology at school or biology at school, to have to learn about the body and how the heart works and how the nervous system works and just things like that that I've never been privy to, you know, I've never known about it. I've always been interested in medical, but that's from what we know, that's from what we read, that's from what we see on television, you know, or or or series or anything like that, you know, talking to people. But it's not the medical terminology because that's just another language, which is true. Like it is literally a language. So, you know, everything like anything with Scoppies to do with a camera. Anything with, you know, like it's just it's just another language. So I had to learn that. So that was really difficult. And I thought I'm never going to remember that. But I did. And also the commitment, you know, it wasn't just doing the school. It was doing the homework. So I was at one, two o'clock in the morning doing assessments. And then I had to start again. So it was very challenging. It was very content heavy. But that was the first portion of it. The next portion was to get through the placements. Yeah. So to get through placements was two weeks and it was a a full eight-hour shift, which you don't get paid for. I mean, now it's a little bit different. I think you get what, like a hundred bucks or something. Perfect. ⁓ but you are learning and you don't you don't do Exactly what you do as a nurse when you're out there on your own. You know, the best time to become a nurse is when you're actually finished your study and you get a job and you start learning on the job. So that's another challenge because, you know, it was like you need to aspirate this patient's gastric tube. I'm like, ⁓ how do you do that? And then you need to, you know, ⁓ reset the IV pump. ⁓ how do you do that? Take bloods, do this, do that. You know, it was just learning because I mean you you take bloods a little rubber arm. That is not the same. You know. So there were many challenges. And also when you're doing different sectors in nursing, because I did aged care, mental health, ⁓ rehabilitation and acute care, ⁓ I didn't really enjoy aged care. I thought that's not really my thing. And I really didn't enjoy mental health and that challenged me. And I came home a couple of times thinking, ⁓ I'm not gonna do this, I can't do this, I'm crying. You know, to see my husband going, I can't be a nurse, it's not me. I just, you know, can't deal with it. So there were quite a few challenges, but I thought, no, not gonna give up. Why come this far to give up? I just put my big girl pants on and thought, no, I'm gonna just keep going. Because anything anything bad in your life, anything, any problem, any circumstance, any environmental factors that are negative, they don't last forever. They don't they don't Stay still in time and last forever. Can you just the dog's he's carrying on because something's under the table. Can you just help him, please, mate? So yeah, so it's just there were many challenges and I did, you know, shed a few tears. But at the same time, when I took over, you know, Tony's books doing my up, I'd never done my up before. And there would be tears. I can't do this, I can't do the on an accountant, I can't. But speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: It there are always gonna be challenges, no matter what you do. And you would have you would have had them yourself, you know? Yeah during this course. Like you said, you had doors closed and doors open and sometimes you got really pissed off and then other times you're like, Wow, that was, you know, profound. You know, it was okay. speaker-0: So, you know, you know, it's funny, I have I I was talking to someone about this the other day. How ⁓ when we're kids, you know, we always get asked, ⁓ what do you want to be when you grow up? And the answers are usually the same. ⁓ look, they might change now depending on ⁓ the age of the kid and and what's available. But usually it's things like you want to be a policeman or an astronaut or a doctor or all that sort of stuff. And and when we answer it at at that age, we we don't actually think of what's involved, right? So you're a cop, great, I want to be a policeman, want to be a fireman. Okay, but you know what? You're gonna be dealing with some pretty scary stuff. Yeah. You know, you're gonna go into situations where you're not gonna wanna be there. Now, because you became a nurse at fifty, you know what's going to be asked of you. You know what you're going to have to do. You know that you're going to see things that you're not going to want to see, but you're going to have to see them. You knew all of that, but you still decided to become a nurse. Wow. speaker-1: Yes. Really? Yes. And look, there are very not so glamorous snippets of being a nurse, but there's also you get such reward, especially when a patient, you know, grabs your hand at the end of the shift and says, Please don't leave me, please come back tomorrow. You're the best nurse I've had, you know. Yeah. I mean I sort of I'm I am quite jovial and quite you know, bubbly and happy girl lucky and I'll go in, I'm your nurse for today and how how can I help you in any way, shape or form? You know, I'm at your service tonight till ten. So it's sort of like, you know, I'll make a little bit of a joke because you know, when you're sick, a laugh's a good, you know, of course good medicine. So I sort of go in with a very positive attitude. Yep. And and not try and focus on the negative. speaker-0: Okay. Cool. I like that. Yeah. All right. Let me ask you another question which I think will which is kind of related to that. ⁓ so tell me, what will what will give you purpose now? Or what is giving you purpose now? speaker-1: Well, I do love my job. Yeah. I I with this opportun with this opportunity to do nursing and I'm very lucky because I've got a good relationship with my ⁓ I work I'm an agency nurse. So I go to Frankston, I can go to any hospital, any rehab center, but mostly I'm at Frankston because they ask for me. No, but it is a good opportunity for me because I'm learning ⁓ a lot of things that I've never faced or done before, you know, using different types of equipment in the hospital, different scenarios. So I'm learning that's opportunity to learn, to constantly grow, to constantly learn and become a better nurse. That's my goal at the moment. Also with these art classes, it's inspired me to do more art and to come up with new ideas and to create and help someone That's profoundly disabled, that really doesn't have much use. They're nonverbal, they're non-mobile, you know, non-ambulent. They ⁓ literally rely on carers to steer their hand, but to help them create something that puts a smile on their face. You know, it's such a reward when I have one of my participants who's nonverbal and non-ambulent, and he's in a wheelchair 24-7, and he literally smiles at me, and his dad says, He loves coming here. You know? ⁓ that's cool. And it's it just gives you purpose and it it makes me, you know, like it instills confidence again and again. ⁓ So that's your purpose, you know? Yeah. speaker-0: Okay. All right. Let's take that let's take that a little bit further. ⁓ what do you want the next twenty years of your life to look like? 'Cause you'll be pretty young. Twenty years. speaker-1: Twenty years. So I'll be ⁓ seventy-five. Still young. That's yeah. The next so I'd like to travel more. I have traveled a bit, but I'd like to travel more with hubby. Yep. And ⁓ see places that are on my bucket list, like Italy and Greece, England, America. So travel more, spend time with family, take ⁓ more family trips. speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: So I've every six months I'll do like a snow trip with the family and we'll pay for an Airbnb. ⁓ that's fine. And then at the end of the year we do a New Year's camping trip where we pay for three sites and then the kids just come. So there's no excuse, like can't afford it. So having a lot more family time because there's obviously going to be marriages and grandkids. So more family time travelling more and just really whatever opportunity comes up, I'll grab it. And I'm always gonna be busy because I'm one of those people that like to do things and not sit around. So I think I'm always gonna be busy. So in my next life, you never know, could be a real estate aide. speaker-0: You know what? You've got the energy for one, I tell you that much. If you if you were, you know, it's it's funny. I I remember when I was an employee a couple of years back and ⁓ we were we were doing a podcast and we were interviewing a successful female real estate agent in s in like Sydney side. and you and you both have the same energy. Like she was just like there was just there was like she had it's like she had too much energy. speaker-1: Yeah. Bottle it, sell it. speaker-0: And she was like ⁓ yeah, she was. She was selling this and she was selling that and she was like super successful and it it was just like wow like she it it's like she never stopped and she didn't sleep or anything like that. ⁓ but I I look I get ya. You know, it's ⁓ speaker-1: think you never stop learning. You never ever stop learning. The day you stop learning and the day you stop progressing and the day you stop having goals or ambition or, you know, something to look forward to is the day you die. speaker-0: I think it yeah, look, I think it is. It's ⁓ you know, I've I've I've known of ⁓ a number of friends and family that you know, their independence gets taken away. It's like sometimes it's voluntary, sometimes, you know, it's their kids saying, Hey, you're too old, come live with us. and when like their purpose or even just the fact of them walking up the street to pick up the paper, you know, when those sorts of things get taken away because they're now getting looked after, life becomes a bit cushy. ⁓ then they start going downhill a lot because you know, they don't have to work up for anything anymore. Yeah. You know, everything's given to them, the food's already cooked. They just kind of wake up and they watch T V for like the entire day and then they go to bed and it's like that's not how you you know, you always have to be busy and doing stuff. speaker-1: It is true. And I've noticed that being a nurse, the people that are the sickest and the people that deteriorate the quickest are the ones that just don't move and do anything. They're living a sedentary life. Yeah. And even as much as you get old, you know, you you can do little bits and pieces. Yeah. And do it. And you need to do it. speaker-0: Yeah. Seditary. Yeah, yeah, and and you know, I I think now as well with with there there are just so many luxuries that we have. You know, we've got we can watch any single movie that we want, we've got TV, we've got like literally everything at our fingertips. Call up foods there, you know, call up cars clean, you know, call up groceries are done. and it's like w like why why bother? You know, everything's almost automatic. ⁓ and and so for people, you know, it's it's difficult to to sort of get them out of bed and go for a walk. you know, go to the park and and do that sort of stuff. It's it's about, you know, trying to find that purpose and speaker-1: Think if yeah, I think if you if you force yourself, you know, I've I've heard something. If you don't want to smile and you are depressed and you just think life's shitty, you know, sometimes if you force yourself to smile and you look in the mirror and you smile, that forceful smile becomes a habit and eventually you won't realise your smile. Yeah. You just have to force yourself to do something. Even if you you know, the more time you stay at home, the more time the more likely you'll be depressed. So It's it's little things and I've learned to, you know, on a nice day, maybe just make time. Okay, we're gonna go to Warburton, the Redwood Forest. You just go because you've made plans with someone. You don't feel like going. And for like for people with ADHD, to get up and get dressed, have a shower to get ready, it seems like such a huge hill to climb, just to go to the forest for a drive, you know? But once you do it, once you're there, you you look at, you know the sky and it's blue and it's got these fluffy marshmallow fairy floss clouds and you know and you see the sun streaming through the trees with the you know reflection of a rainbow coming through. It's just you take in the little things and you look at those things in nature and you appreciate them. You appreciate the people around you smiling and laughing. It's those little things in life because life goes so quick. So you take the opportunity, even little as they are, the magical moments. speaker-0: You know, you know, it's funny, I I always have this ⁓ I'm fascinated by psychology and and just how we think as humans. And I I I'm constantly like analyzing and critiquing myself because you know what you said is true, you know, ADHD and all that sort of stuff. It's it's like ⁓ I've been running every morning for quite some time now. And I I know its benefits, I enjoy it, I love it, it's fun. But every morning is a battle. Every morning. Even though I can confidently say to you that, you know, I might have run 30 Ks last week and it was every single day. And ⁓ I I feel better because of it. And I've and I've told this peop I've told this to people as well. ⁓ I I I don't know, but at some point of me starting running, I've realized that for me anyway, ⁓ I used to think that exercise would deplete. my energy bar. And that's kind of how it was, right? Now you would wake up and you would exercise and you'd think to yourself, okay, I've got all this energy, but now I'm going to exercise or go for a run for an hour. And then now my energy's gone. But since I've been starting running and it's been a while, it's the opposite for me. Like my running actually fills up my energy bar. Yeah. So of the days that I don't run, I kind of feel flat. Now having said all of that, every morning is still a struggle for me to get up and go for a run. You know, I I wake up speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: I go You know what? I think I've got I think I I I've been telling I've been telling people I have self I have I have self-diagnosed ADHD. But it it's every morning I'll get up and I'll go, I'm gonna I'm I want to go for this run. And sometimes I go, hmm, but maybe I need to rest. But wait a minute, no, I I should run. And even though I know that it it does like a world of good to me, I feel good after it. speaker-1: I say. speaker-0: Sure, it can be a bit funny during the run, because obviously, you know, runs aren't easy. Even if it's a short run, you're still having to do exercise. But it's always one of those things where it's it's a battle. It's a it's a tiny battle. It's like what you said before about just forcing yourself to smile. ⁓ I'm I'm fascinated with that stuff because I make I make really weird decisions ⁓ in that I know ⁓ I know what helps me and I know that if if I do this thing. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: I'll get the benefits of it. Yet sometimes I don't do it. You know, and it's not speaker-1: Think if you think then of the negative. We're so as human, we really without realizing pick on the negative. We focus on the negative. It's like, ⁓ but I've got to get up and I've got to have a chair and rest and then I've got to have breakfast, then I've got to have a coffee, then I've got to make it, then I've got to put my runners on, then I've got to walk out the door, put the alarm on, put the you know, make sure the dogs fed, ⁓ that's too much. I can't be bothered going for a run. And all it was was going for a run. Yeah. But there was all this other stuff. Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. It and it's just it it it could it's just like this one moment in time where it's like a yes or a no. Yeah. And look like look, touch wood, luckily for me, it's been seventy percent yes most of the time. Look occasionally it'll be like, ⁓ I can't do this. I'll I'll try and make up some excuse. Like I'm sore or I've run too many days in a row and you know, people say that I should take a rest and I'll just listen to that person for this time around. speaker-1: ⁓ yeah, I'll need a rest today. speaker-0: I tell you, it's it's amazing. But it it is, you know, it it is something that I'm I'm conscious of. ⁓ and ⁓ just trying to be a little bit more ⁓ self reflective is the word I'm guessing, just to to make sure that I'm I'm sort of doing that. ⁓ I've always been more optimistic with certain things. Yeah. And I I like that about me and I like that because I see that in other people as well. Like I was chatting to somebody today about me, you know, using their services for a client and ⁓ I and I I like I'm like big upping them. I'm like going, You're really good at what you do and I want you to help my other client. And they're like, I don't know if I can. It's like, what are you talking about? You're great. And ⁓ you know, it's funny, I I find some people ⁓ they do that. They they kind of downplay their abilities a bit. Yeah. And I'm like, wait. Yeah, yeah. I don't I don't know what speaker-1: Even themselves. Sometimes it's hard. So leaf is a very hard thing. But you know, you sometimes you have to flip it. I find that if you flip it, you know, it's like I go to Pilates twice a week and it's hot mat Pilates, and I think ⁓ in summer, ⁓ Pilates. But the reverse side of things, I think, ⁓ I have to get up, have a chair, get ready, do you know? And that's daunting in itself. But then I flip it and I think. speaker-0: Yeah, I can imagine. speaker-1: Imagine walking out of Pilates thinking, I feel so refreshed and so cleansed and so good that I've done Pilates. And you never s sit down and go, I regret going for that run. I regret doing that Pilates class. Do you ever do that? No. Yeah. You've got to sort of think, no, I want that feeling. I want that euphoric feeling after Pilates, after that that workout, how good I feel. I'm going to get that. I'm going to get ready quick and I'm just going to do it. speaker-0: You know what, my friend and I talk about this a lot. ⁓ and ⁓ we've only just stopped recently talking about it because it's kind of ingrained in our minds now. And the the perfect word for what you describe is what my friend and I talk about a lot. And the word is smug. It's once you've done whatever exercise it is that you've needed to do, whether it's Pilates or go for a run or go to the gym or anything that requires some effort where you've had to battle internally, once you've done it. then you have this feeling of smugness where it's where it's almost like I'm y y you can sometimes think of, ⁓ I've done this. Look at all of you people that hasn't you haven't done exercise. You know, I I remember I didn't think of that word to be as effective because we were talking about it until I went I I went for a run and then I had to I might have been pick somebody up or drop one of the kids off. So I went for a run, hopped in the car and then I went to drop off one of the kids. And I saw all these other people running as well. And I've gone and I had that smug feeling because it's like I've already done that. I don't have to feel bad about not going for the run because I've done that. You can do that too. But you know what? I'm better than you because I've redone it sooner. And that's the that's the perfect feeling ⁓ that describes that. You know, and it is look, it is that sort of ⁓ it makes you feel better, but at the same time, it means that you've kind of conquered your inner bitch in a way, you know, but it's like, ⁓ maybe I need to let my muscles rest. It's like, no, no, you can do this. Just get up and take that first step. You've got the shoes on already. You might as well just do it. It's like fine. You know, so it's ⁓ I understand it. It is ⁓ it is really cool. speaker-1: And there's always gonna be challenges. I think, you know, you look at stories like Neil Danaher and Richard Scolia and you think they were faced with life and death challenges every day. And yet they were positive people. They still made the best of their life. Even look, Neil Danaher told the he was positive and he still made the most of every day. So it doesn't you know, life does get hard, life gets tough. There are health challenges, there's physical, financial pressures, there's speaker-0: ⁓ yeah yeah. That's yeah. speaker-1: A lot of things can go wrong, but it's how you handle those hurdles. It's how you handle the pressures. And you know, back when I was 30, I could be a little bit more negative than I wanted to be. And I think in my fifties I've learned it's far more beneficial to be positive. Yeah. It's it's no good for anyone. It's no good for the people around you. It's no good for ⁓ family, friends, yourself to dwell and be negative because Things don't last forever, things do change and sometimes they get worse before they get better. But that is life. And life is ever changing. It's like a river. speaker-0: Yeah, the majority of the negativity is just your own anyway. It is. Yeah, you know, you could you could ⁓ harbour a grudge against somebody for something that they did and you're thinking that they're holding the same grudge as you, yet all along, most likely and most often is the case, it's just you. Yeah you know, they might have gotten over it like the second it happened, and it or it might not even be a thing for them. speaker-1: Come on. speaker-0: Yeah. You know, and then you're sitting here going, I can't believe that person did that or said that. And you're thinking to yourself, I betcha he's, you know, he's laughing at me now for what he did and you're holding this grudge and they're just like, Hey, what's up? How's it going? Like, wait a minute. I've got no idea what you're talking about. So a lot of the times, yeah. You know, and and so it's it's just easier to you know, if you if you sit with it and it's like, All right, this is it it's happened. I'll I'll I'll accept it for now, I'll just get over it. And you know, it is speaker-1: No idea what you're doing. speaker-0: It's kind like the same effort ⁓ to do that as to get up and go for a run. You know, it could almost be that same thing where it's like, I don't want to go for a run, I don't want to go to parties, you know what? Fuck it, I'll just do it. Great. Yeah. Holding a grudge for a person, here come boss, here comes somebody, ⁓ there's that person again. I don't want to you know, but if you think to yourself, you know what? Like bygones, maybe you just either ignore them or just accept the fact that it happened, but don't let it kind of harp on, you know. speaker-1: Yeah. And it's everyone could think like that. speaker-0: Well, it's a constant fight. You know, it it's a it's it's almost like it's the same thing psychologically, you know, going for a run and then not going for a run. ⁓ not look, you don't have to forgive a person, but to let that particular situation not affect you, or you can let it affect you. You know what mean? And it takes work. It takes, you know, it could be a distraction method. You could just go, okay, well, you know what? I'm going to go for a run, so I don't have to think about that person, you know, or I can listen to music, I can do something else. You know, ⁓ there are just gonna be certain things that you're never going to ⁓ really forget, but there are strategies where you can just get it out of your mind for that instant. Yeah. I I remember it's ⁓ it it reminds me of a method that I still hate needles, but I remember when I was younger and I had to get needles, ⁓ what I would do is I would pinch myself. So it I would I would hurt myself. So that when when the needle came in, it was like It wasn't that bad. speaker-1: Yeah, it's true though. It's that distraction. Yeah. It's like babies. You know? They could be they could be crying and upset because of but you you show them something or start singing or call out a random name and they stop. What? speaker-0: I remember that. There was an Instagram video that was floating where babies were crying and then someone would like make a l Yeah. They would do that or that or they would make a loud noise. speaker-1: Yeah, and they'd go or for a twink on their forehead or something. speaker-0: Yes, the cheese. And they would just stop. speaker-1: But that's everything, the power of distraction. Yeah. And when when you got ADHD, it's actually built into you power of distraction because that's constant. Get distracted. Yeah. Like like Tony says, did you see shiny things? speaker-0: It it's funny. I like I said, I I I think I have self-diagnosed. I like I like to think of it. It's funny. I started I went down this rabbit hole recently of of of seeing if ChatGPT could diagnose me. And it it said that I I have like I'm ⁓ I I'm like a fast I'm a fast task switcher or something like that. Yeah because like i if you think about the word mult multitasking Isn't actually a word. You you're not doing multiple tasks at once. You're actually doing different tasks at the one time. Yeah. Like you can't be doing an email here, but at the same time, ⁓ you know, ⁓ editing an image on Photoshop. Like you you can't do that. That but that's ⁓ that's considered multitasking. And ⁓ ChatGPT is like, No, no, no, you're just you know, you're just rap you're just a rapid task switcher. ⁓ and it's funny because one of the reasons why I went down that path is ⁓ I remember reading productivity books, you know, years ago, and how they would say that ⁓ you you need to be focused on on tasks. And there was some stat given where if you were distracted from doing the task that you were doing, it would take it was like an average of 20 minutes or something like that to get back onto the task that you were doing. I was like 20 minutes. I'm like I'm twenty seconds. Like I'll do this thing. And then someone will call me and like, Hey, can you do this? Yep, I'll do that. And I'll do that. And then I'll hop back to doing what I'm other doing. And then I'll get an email and I I don't know whether it's just me or I've got speaker-1: can do you have that ability. speaker-0: Well I I I just think it comes from I don't know whether it's a meeting. I'm sure other people do it. ⁓ but I I think it's just 'cause I've been running my business for so long. Where I'm I'm like I'm just getting things in left, right, and center. And yeah, and I almost think that ⁓ in my head I'm kind of playing a game of Tetris where all of these different jobs cut but I'm moving it and then just dropping that thing and that's gonna stay up there a bit longer, so I'll make that spin. ⁓ speaker-1: Time shift up. speaker-0: But I have a friend who, ⁓ who is is diagnosed and I like to ask her questions about stuff and I'll explain to her things that I do and then she'll put it into an ADHD context and I'm like, ⁓ maybe you do have it. speaker-1: Well, maybe 'cause I was diagnosed when I was six. Really? Yeah. Yeah. speaker-0: That would th that that's probably the hardcore one. That's probably like the OG eighty. speaker-1: H D O G people say ADHD I've got the OG. speaker-0: I I G A H D. Hilarious. speaker-1: So tell me the question that you asked me, what would you say that if I asked you the same question, the first question you asked me when you entered Which one was that? speaker-0: Which question was that? Was that the twenty speaker-1: But what would you say do you what how do you view yourself at thirty as opposed to now and what would you say? speaker-0: ⁓ what have I learnt that I wished I'd what have I learned that I wished I'd known at 30? ⁓ I think I've answered something similar to this. and it's weird. It's similar to the question of if you could tell yourself one thing when you were thir when you were eighteen, like what would it be? And when I answered that a while back, ⁓ I said nothing. I'm it's yeah have you seen the movie The Butterfly Effect? Yeah. Yeah. And you know how Yeah, yeah, and ⁓ and the theory behind, you know, it like a a small change in ⁓ in the past can totally affect the future. Yeah. And speaker-1: Yes. Question for John? Yeah. speaker-0: I've only seen that movie a couple of times, but the concept itself has stuck with me for for like ever. And it's it's almost like what would I change so that my present day self could be different? And I've like I've I've kind of grown to really appreciate and love like my current situation as it is. I've been journaling for ages, and part of my journal is a gratitude component. And One of and and there's like three parts of that it's like three things that I'm grateful for. Right. And and so a lot of the times it's ⁓ I wouldn't say it's overly creative because it's the same things really. It's like family and friends, it's what happens during the day and and so that kind of what what gets written in there. ⁓ but a lot of the times I would answer with that, and at the same time, it's like I'm grateful for me and like my current situation because I've come to accept it for how it is, and I think it's actually really cool. And any kind of deviation to what it is now, I'd rather not ⁓ think of what it is. You know what I mean? Because everything is fine. I've I've I've grown to accept all of the trials and tribulations and all of the ups and the downs and everything that has kind of made me who I am now. And I doubt that if I was able to go back and make a single change that I don't know if it would be any better to what I am now. And so I think the original You know, the the the rewrite of the question is like, what would you tell yours what would you tell your twenty year old self? And it was just gonna be something like, Hey, ⁓ you don't know me, but everything's gonna be fine. That's it, that's about it. Everything will work out, yeah. speaker-1: ⁓ Wherever you go, there you are. Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, because ⁓ you know, 'cause it's ⁓ yeah, it's the the the another way to to kinda ask it, and it was in a an Instagram short that I saw as well, was ⁓ if you put all of your problems in a hat, along with a hundred of other people's problems in that hat and ⁓ and you had to pull out a problem, would you? Or would you just keep your own problems? And everyone's like, Yeah, I'd just keep problems. I'd keep my own problems. It's kinda speaker-1: Knowing knowing how many problems in the world and what other people experience. ⁓ just have my own problems, thanks. speaker-0: Exactly. So it's kind of like that. It's it's almost like just ⁓ you know, ⁓ the the answer to that i is really a just be grateful with what you have. And 'cause I think what happens with a lot of people, look and I'm and I'm generalizing. ⁓ and because I've done you know, I do a lot of like inner work. So I I'm I'm really fine with this stuff, but I I tend to think that ⁓ a number of people, you know, there's Instagram, so they're they're always in constant comparison. Look at this guy's car, look at the guy's house. Look at the what they're wearing and ⁓ my god, they're on holidays again and you know, not knowing like how true it is, but they're they're they're taking it at self value as ⁓ my god, this is like the real thing. Like they're going on holidays again and ⁓ you know, and and it's almost like people are more vested in other people's lives than their own. And then they get into comparison and then they look at what they've got and like, why am I what like why can't I be on holiday with the same age? You know, I I went to high school with this person. And it's like, well, you know, you're comparing yourself with them, but like, why don't you take a look at what you've got? Like you might have healthy kids, you might have a really good house, you might live in a in a nice neighborhood and you might have like really, you know, nice neighbors or your your your whole family's around, you see your family all the time. Like the things that you kind of do, you you you seem to take ⁓ for granted. And you go, Yeah, well, I have to go to my mum's again tonight. And it's like, wait, you do? Well, this person hasn't had their mum for the past twenty years. Like I'm sure if they were if the tables were swapped, like they'd kill to have you what you've got. speaker-1: Yeah. You've got to appreciate what you have. You have it, why you have it, yeah, how long you have it. You know, it's it it's very it's very true what you just said then, because social media is not real. And it's based the people put the best bits forward. Yeah. And it's like the the image they post and the image you see could have been the hundred and fiftieth shot. ⁓ yeah, yeah. You know? It's not you're only seeing the best bits, you know. Behind closed doors, I mean, you know, she might there might be a woman and she's dressed beautifully, but her husband might be very controlling. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Might hit her and her you know, you just she might ex experience domestic violence. But you see that on social media. Yeah. It's just ⁓ money doesn't buy happiness and it doesn't buy love. So you you really have to appreciate the little things in life. speaker-0: It's more. Yeah. And it's you know, it it's ⁓ again, it it's like that whole you know, we're always talking about these decisions. It's it's something that you have to practice on. You know, you have to be like one, you have to be aware of it because a lot of the stuff that you take for granted, y you just do it and and you think that it's gonna be there with you every single day, right? It it's it's like, you know, sometimes you you wake up every morning and you you feel tired. Okay, that's fine. ⁓ and you think to yourself, ⁓ this is, you know, I'm getting old and blah, blah, blah. But ⁓ on the occasion that you wake up with a sore neck, you know how much easier it is to wake up tired than it is to have that sore neck for the rest of the week as you slept funny and you go, ⁓ no. You know, but because you've taken everything else for granted, ⁓ you know, the awareness isn't there. So for me, you know, having that having that kind of gratitude component of my journal, it kind of grounds me a little bit. You know, 'cause like I said, I look it's not like I don't get jealous, but I've I've learnt to to not look at things in as much detail as they need. I look at something, ⁓ that's nice. Next, ⁓ that's nice too. Next. ⁓ I'm I'm neither jealous, but at the same time I don't give it too much attention to be like, ⁓ look at that watch or look at those shoes. Like, ⁓ it's like I want to buy one of those. Why can't I afford those? It's just like, ⁓ they're kinda nice and next, you know. ⁓ speaker-1: It's a bit of your own cognitive behavioral therapy, isn't it? It is. You're changing your way of thinking. speaker-0: Yeah, it it's funny because I I I I recorded a video this morning exactly saying that. And it was the it was the comparison of ⁓ me selling what I thought was a car I was never gonna sell and it was expensive and I I sold it because I needed the money to to take a course, gave some money to ⁓ to for the house, and then I had to buy ⁓ a car for my son because it's manual and he couldn't drive the other car that I had. So I bought this car and it was cheap. It was like a fraction of the car that I sold. And I love the car, right? Because I'd I've had one in the past. And I'm tinkering with it. I'm modifying it. I'm working on it with my dad and my son. And I'm like, I'm having like a lot of fun with this car. And it's it's so cheap. And then I start thinking to myself, hmm. So if I was to spend 10x the amount on a car, which isn't I I think the I think I bought the car for like $4,000 or even like three, five. So it's cheap. If I spent 10x, so if even I if I spent $30,000 on a car as an example, would would that mean that I'm 10 times happier? I was like, no, it's not it's not exponential. So it's almost like, ⁓ that's interesting. Well, if this thing makes me happy, like where else can I look at that is like, well, I don't need to spend that much money. Because I can spend that much instead and that's gonna make me just as happy, so I'll just do that instead, you know. speaker-1: ⁓ well it's true. Sometimes we've got to go back to basics. Yeah. It's like I don't I'm not a big camping fan and I much prefer a five star resort. But when we go camping, you know, we all sit in our little caravan, all eight of us, and we play games. Yeah. Would we do that in a five star resort? Probably not. Would we would we cook our meals on the barbecue or the camp kitchen? Probably not. Would we talk? Would we laugh? Would we you know it's It's just go sometimes it's just going back to basics and that have the memories, the best fun. speaker-0: Yeah, it it's the basics. It's it's just, you know, like what is it that really makes you happy? and again, kind of going back to social media, I think a lot of the times people people opt for the most expensive. Obviously, there's a component of either accomplishment and of pride, but there's also a component of peacocking of going, Hey, I'm gonna buy this for me, slash to show other people to post it up on social media. ⁓ And and even though I'm doing videos like this, I've never been one to to show stuff on social media a lot. So I'm o I'm actually okay with that. And you know, as part of the video that I recorded earlier, I was like, you know, I'm okay in buying used shoes. I I don't need to buy brand new shoes. Like if I want if there's shoes there, brand new price is three hundred dollars and there's a second hand pair which is crystal decent for like a hundred bucks, I'm just gonna buy the cheap one. I don't care. I'll I'll still have the same happiness, it's still the same shoe. I don't need to be the first owner. and people aren't gonna look at me and go, Hey, you bought used shoes. They're not gonna know, right? It's dumb. speaker-1: I think I think my husband's got that theory. He'll go to Sabres and get genies. Yeah. speaker-0: They know. I I like I I'm happy to buy that stuff. Like, you know some people are like, no, you can't like someone's owned it. It's like, yeah, I don't care. And other people won't either. Like I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna go after people and say, Hey, I bought these shoes brand new, do you know that? speaker-1: And that's yeah, well that's true. And that's again like you don't worry about what people think. speaker-0: Don't worry about ph exactly. And and for and for me. speaker-1: He did and someone said, ⁓ my God, he bought used shoes. That's disgusting. ⁓ my god, imagine that if they had like foot odor and stuff being ⁓ no, ⁓ well I won't be telling anyone I'm doing that and then you'd worry and then you'd No, I better buy new shoes because you've let people affect you. speaker-0: Yeah. And to me, that that's come with age. That's come with you know what? I I'm I don't care about what you think. You know, you don't need to know where this came from. It doesn't matter. speaker-1: Mind you, you're a lot younger than me. speaker-0: ⁓ you know, I'm turning fifty in a in like six months. Yeah, man. speaker-1: No. Dix! Surely not! yeah? When did I meet you? You were like s like ⁓ I didn't even you weren't even eighteen. Wow. Okay. speaker-0: January. I'm like people are like, ⁓ my God, you're turning fifty. Like, how do you f like I feel the same? Like what are you talking about? Like I I I yo yo and and like I I've been I've been running like for ages now and it's like I d I feel great. Like I don't know, it's just a number. You know, if anything, like the the age component is is related to that sort of ⁓ increased awareness and you know just accepting things as they are and not allowing other people to You know, to let their opinions affect me. Obviously it's for if it's different, you're like, you I might go to Liv and say, Hey, does this look okay? Because she's a better judgment of fashion than I am and she'll say, No, no, you can't wear sneakers. This is like a formal event. It's like, Okay, fine, I'll change. But other stuff, I'm just like, you know, I'm just gonna do me. And if you don't like me, then I don't care about that. So that's it. speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Well done. ⁓ speaker-0: ⁓ anyway, Mish, ⁓ I've got to do basketball drop off. W that that went so quick. That that went so quick that chat. That was It's like ⁓ seven twenty two. ⁓ my time is you're really speaker-1: I know. What's the time? I just stayed on so I didn't have to call Peter. speaker-0: ⁓ Well if you want to do that ne if you wanna do that next time we'll we'll we'll organise that with Tony so he have to cook every you know. speaker-1: Every Thursday. speaker-0: Thank you so much. speaker-1: I'm so glad everything's going well. But you know, it's good to have a chat. So if you wanna speaker-0: That was really fun. You did you you answered really, really well. I really enjoyed your take on things. So thank you very much. speaker-1: If you ever need more opinions, you just let me know. I've added you on Facebook anyway, because I didn't even realise I didn't have you on Facebook. Yeah, I know, right. So and I've looked at your video and then I went to your website. So really cool. Yeah, really good. Well done. speaker-0: Absolutely, yes. You'll be irregular, a hundred percent. Thanks, Mish. We'll chat to you soon. Say hi to Tony for me. See ya, mate. Bye. speaker-1: I'll do