Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #170 What's For Dinner Mum?

Transcript

#170 What's For Dinner Mum? · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:00
Speaker 1: I would love to say that I have this all together,
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Speaker 1: but we have experienced ebbs and flows through this whole
0:05
Speaker 1: process for the last twenty years.
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Speaker 2: It's a Happy Family's podcast, the podcast for the time
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Speaker 2: poor parent, he yes wants answers Now. I am so
0:19
Speaker 2: looking forward to this conversation because I'm so hungry, hungry,
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Speaker 2: and I'm just curious. What's for inn it tonight?
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Speaker 1: This is the bane of every mother's life.
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Speaker 2: I still here.
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Speaker 1: Because it doesn't matter whether or not you actually find
0:36
Speaker 1: a solution tonight, You've still got to deal with it tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: So what's for dinnimum is the title of the podcast,
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Speaker 2: and I genuinely want to know now, Like I'm really
0:47
Speaker 2: excited as soon as I start thinking about it, you
0:50
Speaker 2: know why I think it's such a big deal. By
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Speaker 2: the way, my name's doctor Justin Colson. I'm the author
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Speaker 2: of six books about raising happy families. I'm here with
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Speaker 2: my wife and co host, Kylie, missus Happy Families, mum
0:58
Speaker 2: to our six daughter and.
1:00
Speaker 1: Chef of the family.
1:02
Speaker 3: Well.
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Speaker 2: I used to love to get into the kitchen and
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Speaker 2: show off, and then I discovered that I had no
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Speaker 2: idea what I was doing, and you were just so good,
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Speaker 2: and over the years, it's very much fallen to you
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Speaker 2: to the point where now if there's a barbecue, I'm
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Speaker 2: all over that, and I do the roasts, and I've
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Speaker 2: got a couple of signature dishes that I can pull
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Speaker 2: out in an emergency. But really, the day to day
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Speaker 2: drama of dealing with kids, saying what's forum it falls
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Speaker 2: to you. You'm tired.
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Speaker 3: I just said, You're like, I don't even ask do
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Speaker 3: we have to have this conversation.
1:39
Speaker 1: So yesterday afternoon I ran you in a fluster because
1:42
Speaker 1: the shopping center that I usually shop at the grocery
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Speaker 1: store closed.
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Speaker 3: Out, is being renovated.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I ended up at another shopping center,
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Speaker 1: another grocery store, trying to do the groceries in an
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Speaker 1: unfamiliar setting and just feeling overwhelmed, overloaded, and you didn't have.
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Speaker 3: Time to do the groceries. You're doing the grocery because there.
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Speaker 2: Was no food in the fridge and everyone was saying
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Speaker 2: what's for dinner, and You're like, I don't have any
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Speaker 2: food exactly right.
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Speaker 3: So it was a really, really stressful.
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Speaker 2: So we asked a bunch of mums what their response
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Speaker 2: is when they hear those gorgeous words.
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Speaker 3: What's for dinner? Mum? I'm the slave in the kitchen again,
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Speaker 3: you know, and all I get is what's for dinner?
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Speaker 1: How about helping?
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Speaker 2: Well, I try to be fairly organized, but that doesn't
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Speaker 2: necessarily mean that that's what's going to get eaten.
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Speaker 1: So we can't go with what's already prepared, and then
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Speaker 1: probably some backups.
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Speaker 3: So normally I'm the expert.
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Speaker 2: But this is all on you, missus happy families, because
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Speaker 2: when the kids say what's for dinner, mum, well, they
2:38
Speaker 2: don't save that to me. They say it to you
2:40
Speaker 2: when they ask me what's for dinner? I just say,
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Speaker 2: go ask mum, yes you do. I don't know if
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Speaker 2: I'm looking after it, which takeaway shop would you like
2:47
Speaker 2: us to visit?
2:48
Speaker 1: And that's very much the case in our house, isn't it.
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Speaker 1: If dad's taking care of you know, where are we going.
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Speaker 3: I do a good job.
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Speaker 2: When I can do the takeout, you do a great job.
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Speaker 2: I get the kids in the car or actually I
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Speaker 2: usually go solo so can listen to a podcast, but
3:01
Speaker 2: I always come back with you come back with the goods.
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Speaker 2: I feel like I've gone out and hunted and gathered
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Speaker 2: and done what I needed to do, you know. I mean,
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Speaker 2: I really love going down to the butcher and buying
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Speaker 2: some I know that not everybody. Some people will be
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Speaker 2: vegan and vegetarian, and that's great. I kind of wish
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Speaker 2: that I was there, but I'm not. And I love
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Speaker 2: going to the butcher and coming back with a big
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Speaker 2: bag of meat and thinking this is what we're having
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Speaker 2: on the barbie to night.
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Speaker 3: But that's not the normal. So what do you do? Missus?
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Speaker 2: Happy families? We need some help because this I reckon.
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Speaker 2: We can really make life better for a lot of
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Speaker 2: parents if you can help us to know how to
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Speaker 2: answer this question, what's for dinnermum?
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Speaker 1: I would love to say that I have this all together,
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Speaker 1: but we have experienced ebbs and flows through this whole
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Speaker 1: process that the last twenty years.
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Speaker 2: This is an unfair thing for me to say, but
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Speaker 2: I actually know what the solution is. I can't do
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Speaker 2: the cooking. I'm lousy in the kitchen compared to you.
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Speaker 2: I struggle to understand the difference between a pot and
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Speaker 2: a sauce but in a fry pan like I just
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Speaker 2: I don't know.
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Speaker 3: Did I say the same thing in the middle of it?
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Speaker 1: Lost?
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Speaker 2: But I know the secret to family happiness in our
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Speaker 2: home is having that dinner around about five point thirty.
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Speaker 2: I also know that having a meal list, knowing what
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Speaker 2: we're going to eat, that is ninety nine percent of
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Speaker 2: the battle one. You are correct, But we just even
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Speaker 2: though we know what we don't put the list together.
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Speaker 1: We don't not Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Sometimes we
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Speaker 1: actually do, we do a great job of it. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: And other times we actually put the list together, but
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Speaker 1: when we look at the list as we go through
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Speaker 1: the week, we don't actually want to eat anything that's
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Speaker 1: on the list, so it doesn't help us.
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Speaker 2: Sometimes, or you open the fridge, it's like, oh, well,
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Speaker 2: we're supposed to be having that tonight, but we don't
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Speaker 2: have the ingredients, so we end up having something that
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Speaker 2: we're not supposed to.
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Speaker 1: Well, in our case, tonight, we actually we've got all
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Speaker 1: these potatoes. I've got these potatoes, So that has dictated
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Speaker 1: what we're eating.
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Speaker 3: It has.
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Speaker 2: So what what would you say would be the most
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Speaker 2: helpful couple of bits and pieces of advice that you
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Speaker 2: would give to any mum who's tearing a hair out.
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Speaker 2: Even listening to this, you know the stress levels are
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Speaker 2: going up just hearing us talk about what's for dinner?
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Speaker 1: Mom.
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Speaker 2: Oh, actually, before you do, I got to share the
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Speaker 2: funniest story.
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Speaker 3: We were having dinner.
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Speaker 2: It was only in the last few weeks, and it
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Speaker 2: was a beautiful meal, Like we sat down, Oh, it
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Speaker 2: was so good eating this food, and I distinctly remember
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Speaker 2: one of our kids actually looked at you with a
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Speaker 2: mouthful of food.
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Speaker 3: We're having our.
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Speaker 2: Evening dinner meal and she looks at you with a
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Speaker 2: mouthful of food and says, what are we having for
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Speaker 2: dinner tomorrow night? Mum?
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Speaker 1: Well, I know that you say love is spelt t
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Speaker 1: im for a kid, but in our house there's a
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Speaker 1: few of them. I swear love is spout food.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I reckon it is.
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Speaker 2: But I was thinking about it as I was saying that,
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Speaker 2: and I think they're actually asking the question because that
5:43
Speaker 2: might be a little bit hungry. But really, when you
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Speaker 2: know what's for dinner, you feel two things. Number One,
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Speaker 2: you feel reassurance, like, Okay, there is going to be food.
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Speaker 2: I'm not going to starve. I'm going to be okay.
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Speaker 2: But number two, when you find out what it is,
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Speaker 2: you start to get excited. It gives you something to
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Speaker 2: look forward to like, definitely in our at least, there's
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Speaker 2: so much enthusiasm about what's coming up for dinner, Like,
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Speaker 2: we get so excited about it. I was having a
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Speaker 2: chat with jess Row in the podcast before you started
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Speaker 2: joining me about six or eight weeks ago, and Jessica
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Speaker 2: Rowe is known on Instagram as the Crap Housewife, and
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Speaker 2: every night she takes her photo of just these very
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Speaker 2: very very ordinary meals, you know, sausages and mash, and
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Speaker 2: she's done the sausage in the fry pan and not
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Speaker 2: that there's anything matter with sausage and mash, but it's
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Speaker 2: not exactly gourmet cooking. And you'd kind of expect the
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Speaker 2: superstar Jessica Row to have the fancy meals and things,
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Speaker 2: and she's kind of saying it's okay to own it.
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Speaker 2: You don't have to be a great cook. But there
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Speaker 2: is something awesome about just knowing we've got this meal
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Speaker 2: coming up. You can say to the kids, Oh, we're
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Speaker 2: going to go and buy some chips and just have
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Speaker 2: chip sandwiches, and they'll be like, Oh.
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Speaker 3: That's so awesome. They'll be excited.
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Speaker 2: There's something to look forward to, something to savor and
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Speaker 2: anticipate about dinner just so long as you know that
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Speaker 2: it's coming right.
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Speaker 1: I like the idea of savoring and I think that
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Speaker 1: you've really tapped into something there. I think our kids
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Speaker 1: do when they know their favorites being cooked. There's just
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Speaker 1: that's say, the salivating starts, you know, as soon as
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Speaker 1: they walk in the door and go, well, we're having
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Speaker 1: chicken brock ale over dinner.
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Speaker 3: So let's work out.
7:13
Speaker 2: Because we've been promising and promising, you've got these Happy
7:16
Speaker 2: Families strategies to help the time poor parent who just
7:19
Speaker 2: wants answers now. We'll do that in a second.
7:21
Speaker 3: It's their Happy Famili's podcast for a happier family.
7:25
Speaker 1: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't
7:29
Speaker 1: just happen.
7:30
Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au.
7:33
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast with a time
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Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we
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Speaker 1: are talking about a topic that I think every mum
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Speaker 1: just is pulling her hair out wanting answers to.
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Speaker 2: And some dads, let's face it, there's plenty of well
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Speaker 2: there's some dads who look after this.
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Speaker 1: Oh.
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Speaker 2: I asked a bunch of parents what their number one
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Speaker 2: strategy for dealing with this challenge of what's for dinner?
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Speaker 3: Mum? Is?
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Speaker 1: I think about what my mum used to say to me,
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Speaker 1: and she would say to me and my siblings chicken surprise.
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Speaker 2: So I say, chicken surprise.
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Speaker 3: Hi, how are.
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Speaker 1: You so nice to see you? I'll let you know
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Speaker 1: when I.
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Speaker 2: Figure it out, So missus happy families. If you were
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Speaker 2: to give us a list of your top three or
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Speaker 2: your top five tips, what would they be?
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Speaker 1: Oh, I have a list that's so long it's crazy.
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Speaker 1: Preparation preparation is one hundred number one key.
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Speaker 2: So do you mean like list preparation so know what
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Speaker 2: you're having, or do you mean prepare the food ahead
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Speaker 2: of time? Both that magically organized.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, But a.
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Speaker 1: Couple of things that have worked really really well for
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Speaker 1: our house over the years. You've already kind of tapped
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Speaker 1: into that, you know, creating a menu, maybe a one
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Speaker 1: or two week menu that you can just rotate throughout.
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Speaker 1: Especially when you've got younger children and they fussy. They're
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Speaker 1: fussy and they like specific foods, it can be really
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Speaker 1: daunting to introduce new, new flavors and new foods to them.
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Speaker 1: So having you know, fourteen meals that your family just
9:00
Speaker 1: loves eating and they're on rotation, and they're just on rotation.
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Speaker 1: That can be really helpful for people who just you know,
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Speaker 1: on autopilot and don't want to have to think, but
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Speaker 1: they know, today's chicken night and we're having X, Y
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Speaker 1: and Z.
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Speaker 2: I remember a few years ago, we had this setup
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Speaker 2: where it was, you know, Monday night was Italian and
9:15
Speaker 2: Tuesday night was Asian, and Wednesday night was I don't know,
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Speaker 2: barbecue or whatever it was. But we kind of Thursday
9:21
Speaker 2: night was wraps or it was Mexican, and we.
9:23
Speaker 1: Had fish nights.
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Speaker 3: We had fish Night, yeah.
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Speaker 2: And that meant that we had some really nice variety
9:28
Speaker 2: with our meals. But we kind of had a theme
9:29
Speaker 2: for every night of the week. And I know that
9:31
Speaker 2: might sound too much for some people, but for us,
9:33
Speaker 2: it made it really easy because Italian meant that we
9:35
Speaker 2: were going to have lasagna or spaghetti bolonnaise or pizza
9:38
Speaker 2: right and fish night meant that we were going to
9:40
Speaker 2: have some I don't know, some salmon on a fancy
9:42
Speaker 2: not or maybe we just have some fish parcels or
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Speaker 2: fish fingers, even on a cheap night.
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Speaker 3: But it kind of just gave you that direction all right,
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Speaker 3: what's next?
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Speaker 1: So one year I actually brought a cookbook.
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Speaker 3: Oh, the Sally Book.
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Speaker 2: The Sally Book, So Sally fits somebody. She's as given
9:59
Speaker 2: Surfa and this book has become my heaven.
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Speaker 3: I love this book.
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Speaker 1: We tap into her book a lot because what she
10:07
Speaker 1: did that just revolutionized my world was she put a
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Speaker 1: menu together for four weeks breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And
10:17
Speaker 1: not only did she do that, she then created a
10:20
Speaker 1: shopping list for me. I didn't have to think about
10:24
Speaker 1: a thing. So the only thing I had to do
10:26
Speaker 1: was because the meals were for two people, well obviously
10:28
Speaker 1: we have a few more than two in our house,
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Speaker 1: I had to kind of just change the quantities. But
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Speaker 1: it made it so easy for me. I didn't have
10:33
Speaker 1: to think about anything. The downside to it, there was
10:37
Speaker 1: some downsides. It took a little bit longer because I
10:39
Speaker 1: was making new foods for breakfast, lunch, and tea.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, we were eating. I remember you complaining and saying,
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Speaker 2: my whole life is meal preparation at the moment, because
10:47
Speaker 2: new meals take time to get your head around. So
10:50
Speaker 2: advice on that would be, don't actually take on too
10:52
Speaker 2: many new meals in any compressed period of time take
10:56
Speaker 2: on a new meal and get used to it before
10:57
Speaker 2: you start adding new ones.
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Speaker 1: So that was a little bit tricky to navigate. We
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Speaker 1: also had the issue that we were introducing lots of
11:04
Speaker 1: new foods to the family, including myself who's not a
11:07
Speaker 1: particularly adventurous eater, and so we had some nights where
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Speaker 1: we kind of were cooking meals and there was a
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Speaker 1: few children who were very disgruntled because they didn't enjoy
11:16
Speaker 1: what we were eating. And then I guess, just because
11:19
Speaker 1: we were eating lots of new foods, I had to
11:21
Speaker 1: buy a lot of the staples that were part of
11:24
Speaker 1: her staple.
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Speaker 3: Food but not part of our usual staple that's right.
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Speaker 1: So we found that it was a little bit expensive,
11:29
Speaker 1: but I loved the concepts well, I was going to.
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Speaker 2: Say, rather than getting caught up on the cell Fitz
11:33
Speaker 2: given book, which we just loved. And no, it's not
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Speaker 2: a sponsored podcast. The process is what matters here, not
11:40
Speaker 2: the actual book. And the process was there's a list
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Speaker 2: of meals for breakfast, lunch, and tea, and there's also
11:46
Speaker 2: a shopping list so that you can absolutely dial this in.
11:49
Speaker 2: When we found that it was not practical, it was
11:52
Speaker 2: just too expensive, some of the meals in there were
11:54
Speaker 2: quite of pricey, and we were having foods that were
11:57
Speaker 2: out of season, and so it costs even more.
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Speaker 1: But we actually had a friend who did this of
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Speaker 1: her own accord. She actually created four shopping lists in
12:04
Speaker 1: the Coals online shopping app and she would just say, okay,
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Speaker 1: it's week one, and this is you know, my shopping
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Speaker 1: list week one, and she would just order that and
12:14
Speaker 1: that would be her meal list for the week, which
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Speaker 1: is exactly what she was doing.
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Speaker 2: It sounds crazy until you think, but you've only got
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Speaker 2: to do it once. You might give up a day
12:22
Speaker 2: or two to get it all sorted, but then you're away.
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Speaker 1: So another idea that I actually got from a friend
12:27
Speaker 1: and I loved it, and I've actually tried to do
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Speaker 1: this a few times in the different places that we've
12:30
Speaker 1: moved is having a friend who hates cooking as much
12:34
Speaker 1: as you do, and coming together one day a week
12:36
Speaker 1: and doing a cookup. And so this particular friend, she
12:40
Speaker 1: would do three meals, and her friend would do three meals,
12:42
Speaker 1: and they would do a double batch, so at the
12:44
Speaker 1: end of it they each had six meals for their family.
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Speaker 2: An entire week week's done food.
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Speaker 1: But The great thing about this suggestion was a feer
12:54
Speaker 1: you did hit a big freezer if you got a
12:55
Speaker 1: family house size, but the sense of community that she
12:59
Speaker 1: was able to to create in that process and take
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Speaker 1: something that is really mundane and challenging for a lot
13:05
Speaker 1: of parents and create an event out of it that
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Speaker 1: she looked forward to. Monday was her favorite day of
13:10
Speaker 1: the week because she got to spend the day with
13:11
Speaker 1: her best friend.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, I've got a solution as well. You know
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Speaker 2: when the kids like, what's for dinner? Mom, have the
13:16
Speaker 2: list on the fridge and just point at the fridge,
13:18
Speaker 2: So go over there and apple look, because what about
13:22
Speaker 2: you when they ask you? And thirty seconds later they
13:25
Speaker 2: ask you again, like they actually they ask you. They
13:27
Speaker 2: just want to know that there's food coming, but they
13:29
Speaker 2: didn't really listen. And then they're like, what's for dinner?
13:32
Speaker 2: And you're like, didn't I just tell you?
13:34
Speaker 3: So frustrating.
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Speaker 2: Have you any other strategies of solutions to help.
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Speaker 1: As the kids get old, or assigning a child to
13:39
Speaker 1: either be your helper in the kitchen or actually assigning
13:43
Speaker 1: them to do a meal. So in our house, we
13:45
Speaker 1: did a bit of induction with them and taught them
13:48
Speaker 1: each how to do one of their favorite meals, and
13:50
Speaker 1: they just kept practicing that meal over the next few
13:53
Speaker 1: weeks and months until they got to a position where
13:56
Speaker 1: they were actually capable of doing that meal on their own.
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Speaker 2: I love it when the kids say what's for dinner
13:59
Speaker 2: and we say, go ask Gella, yeah to night tonight,
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Speaker 2: and everyone's like, oh, that means we're having wraps because
14:04
Speaker 2: that's the only thing that you can.
14:05
Speaker 3: Cook because we taught her. That's a great one.
14:07
Speaker 1: And then another couple of ideas quickly is just you know,
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Speaker 1: having a few go to meals when life just gets
14:13
Speaker 1: so chaotic and you don't have anything, you know, kind
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Speaker 1: of mapped out, just knowing that you can go to one,
14:19
Speaker 1: two or three meal and literally go, this is going
14:23
Speaker 1: to take me five or ten minutes to kind of
14:24
Speaker 1: piece together. And sometimes it might actually mean putting a
14:27
Speaker 1: few things in the freezer. So in the past, I've
14:29
Speaker 1: done a big spaghetti bolonnaise batch up and I've actually
14:32
Speaker 1: just broken it up into smaller batches to freeze. So
14:36
Speaker 1: on those nights when I just don't feel like cooking,
14:38
Speaker 1: instead of having to go down to the Lake of
14:40
Speaker 1: takeaway shop, I can just pull out one of those
14:42
Speaker 1: and add some fresh pasta.
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Speaker 2: And I guess there's also for families that can afford it,
14:45
Speaker 2: there's those home delivery grocery you know, Holo Fresh kind
14:49
Speaker 2: of things. I don't know what they're all called, and
14:50
Speaker 2: again not not sponsored, but I don't hope it's people
14:53
Speaker 2: who say this just works so well for us because
14:55
Speaker 2: we get the grocery items, we get the recipe, it's
14:58
Speaker 2: always tasty, something new, and that works for them. I
15:02
Speaker 2: got stopped buy the Hello Fresh people in the shopping
15:05
Speaker 2: center one day because they're very they're very active in
15:07
Speaker 2: their efforts to recruit new subscribers.
15:10
Speaker 3: And I said, not going to work. Our family's too big.
15:12
Speaker 2: And we sat down and did the maths because they
15:14
Speaker 2: really were convinced that this would work and it was
15:17
Speaker 2: going to be some preposterous amount of money for our family.
15:19
Speaker 2: They're like, yeah, we can understand why you probably want
15:21
Speaker 2: to do that. Your own wasn't a great solution for us,
15:24
Speaker 2: but I know that it's a great solution for other people.
15:27
Speaker 1: Well, hopefully this has been helpful for the time poor
15:30
Speaker 1: parent out there who just wants answers on how to
15:33
Speaker 1: make dinner just a little bit less stressful.
15:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, we really hope you enjoy the podcast. In fact,
15:37
Speaker 2: we love getting your emails podcasts at happy Families dot
15:41
Speaker 2: com dot au.
15:42
Speaker 3: So in Devon in the UK, I know that.
15:45
Speaker 1: You've been doing this for a long time, but I
15:47
Speaker 1: just can't wrap my head around the fact that somebody
15:49
Speaker 1: in the UK is actually listening to us.
15:50
Speaker 3: Not just listening, but so got in touch. She said.
15:53
Speaker 3: Apologies for probably sending this the wrong email, but I.
15:55
Speaker 2: Just wanted to say how I feel about the podcast
15:58
Speaker 2: at the MO I've binge listened to your podcast, listen
16:01
Speaker 2: to from the very first one right up to date.
16:04
Speaker 2: Wanted to say I'm loving Kylie being on board what
16:07
Speaker 2: you're doing and the way it's presented has taken it
16:09
Speaker 2: from being great theory to actually real life and it
16:11
Speaker 2: makes it fantastic to listen to how you put this
16:13
Speaker 2: great content into practice. Thank you, and don't change what
16:16
Speaker 2: you're doing. Well. So in Devon in the UK, We're
16:20
Speaker 2: stoked to hear from you, and we're glad that you're
16:21
Speaker 2: enjoying the podcast. If you do enjoy the podcast, don't
16:23
Speaker 2: just let us know about it, let everyone know by
16:25
Speaker 2: going to Apple Podcasts and leaving a rating and a review.
16:29
Speaker 2: When you do that, other people find out about the podcast.
16:32
Speaker 2: The Apple algorithm preferences it so other people find it
16:35
Speaker 2: when they're looking for stuff about families, and we can
16:38
Speaker 2: help to make their families happier. If you like more info,
16:40
Speaker 2: by the way, about how we can help your family flourish,
16:42
Speaker 2: just visit happy families dot com dot au. The Happy
16:45
Speaker 2: Families podcast is produced by Justin rule On from Bridge Media,
16:49
Speaker 2: and our executive producer is Craig Bruce. If you'd like
16:52
Speaker 2: more info about how we can help your family be happier,
16:54
Speaker 2: you can find everything you need to know at happy
16:56
Speaker 2: families dot com dot au. A