Latest / Total Barnage / How To Endure Hard Things (Part 1)

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How To Endure Hard Things (Part 1) · Total Barnage

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Total Barnage with myself, Charlie.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: And Guy today.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: We are together on a nice and windy, rainy Friday afternoon as we record this.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't had an episode just you and I for a couple weeks, have we?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we did.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well no, we did the sports ones.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: No, of course.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: When you brought a piece of paper.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this week you've brought more than one piece of paper.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I printed out.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: This was me printing out.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a Substack article.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote a couple of articles.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, just I do a lot of writing and whatever.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I started printing it out, but we ran out of ink.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, I don't really need all of it.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of wanted to have it on a piece of paper.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I have also brought my journal, which I've written some things down into about today, because today I would like to go all nerdy and discuss some tips, um, some actionable tips that I've learnt to do hard things and to endure things that we don't want to endure and strategies that we can do it.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why should we do hard things and Charlie?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, actually that's four that's fourth on the list, which is pretty terrible for me because you know it should be first on the list.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, no, no, let's no, no, no, no, let's leave them with excitement and myself with excitement.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: We will come to that at the end.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or how many people things are on this list today?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, there's probably only about five or so.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well we'll get through a couple of them.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: What's on the start of the list then, Charlie?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm interested.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: The start of the list is really about what endurance is.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, endurance, the way that I see it, the way that I've experienced it, there are kind of three ways that you can go about it.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: And endurance, and what's interesting, is endurance and suffering are very similar.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: So if you talk about suffering and being able to go through suffering, it's actually quite similar to endurance.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and this is well, I'll get into full full nerdy kind of mode.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I studied classics at uni, and uh one of the things that we studied in classics was Latin, and I use a lot of my framing of certain um certain words or certain concepts through the lens of what the Latin means.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so the Latin for endure, I endure, is a verb called patio, which also can be translated as I suffer.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of see those as the same things.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: If we're talking about suffering, you talk about endurance.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the interesting thing about the Latin verb is that it is a mixture, the way it's written is a mixture of being an active verb, like you're the one doing it, but then also passive, like it's being done to you.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the interesting thing about endurance and suffering is it works in the same way and it reflects it quite nicely.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Is there's a couple of ways that we can endure things, which is by just being passive and letting things happen to us, but then we can also act and be the ones that are pushing against certain hard things and difficult things to then be able to endure and suffer.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: So in Latin, endure and suffering is the same word?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: It there's there's a verb called patiore, um which can be translated as I endure or I suffer.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And why do you think it's been translated into two different words?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think well, there's I I think a lot a lot is down to um I mean this isn't this really isn't the reason.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of just picked it as a like a retrospective thing.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of go, oh, I can see a comparison, and then I've decided that that's maybe why they've why they see it in the same way.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I think the main thing comes between there are a lot of similarities between suffering and endurance.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um and one of the things, and this is how I see how I see endurance, is the first thing that you can do is number one, is you distract yourself.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: So to endure something, you might distract yourself with something else.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you're going out for a run and you've got your TikToks, you you might be able to distract yourself from the pain by you know having the TikToks playing kind of thing.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um also kind of lean into the pain.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great point, right?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because certain of these kind of motivational TikToks I listen to, which is an incredibly weird way to run because you can't really scroll, so you end up listening to the same one over and over again.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: But it makes pain your friend.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it makes you understand that you have to suffer to endure and to improve.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's you told me way back, I think toward when we kind of first met, there was something that stuck with me was to endure is to suffer, and that echoes in my mind when I'm in the suffering zone of the running, um, and it's that kind of acceptance and embracing the pain because you know that it's gonna lead to progress.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's so interesting you say that because that is, I mean, yeah, that example that is number two on the list is the other thing you can do.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: The next thing you can do is you can embrace the discomfort.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I think like if you talk about steps of why people would start doing like difficult things, um, I think for the first part, the whole point that we do difficult things is that they're going to happen anyway, right?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of these things that life is going to chuck you know some tough stuff at us, whether we like it or not.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I always see my life has measurably improved after I've deliberately trained myself to do difficult things and to lean into things like discomfort.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I think that's the thing, first off, is it's worth building from the ground up doing things that you don't want to do.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, the the the first thing is you can distract yourself by listening to something else, just getting through it, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Literally is completing it.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Distract yourself by a conversation with someone else, distract yourself by music or by focusing on a particular body part.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like if I gave you a cue when you're running and your mind's going kind of crazy, it might be nice just to focus on your breath, and that distracting away from the mind allows you to then focus on something else.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the one thing, but then also as you highlighted, the second thing is also to embrace the discomfort, and this is a little bit I mean, it's a bit harder to do, yeah, isn't it?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think it comes with maturity of suffering in a sense, because it you can't if someone walks in here for the first time and they've never been to the gym before, and we're like, right, lean into the suffering, lean into the pain, embrace it.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's quite intimidating and it's a bit overwhelming.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: But with time and experience being in those zones, I guess it's something that you can come to terms with and understand a little bit better.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: But distraction from the pain is also a good tactic, perhaps, when you're starting out, because good quality conversations during a workout can often distract the client from how challenging that thing is.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, today I was coaching Mads and Maria and I was talking crap to them whilst they're doing a sled push, but that distracted them from how hard that sled push was, and they were more focusing on me talking crap and pushing them and thinking, oh no, you're being a dick.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Why I'm I'm pushing as hard as I can.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: That was the distraction of the pain.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it can be used as a tool, but yeah, getting people lean into it, it's it's tough.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And and and like it's it's worth saying that the reason why it's difficult to lean into it is because it doesn't feel that nice.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's you know, you have a pain signal of your body telling you that this is uncomfortable.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Your body's trying to protect you from pushing too much, like it's your body protects you a lot more than um you know, hell of a lot to stop you from going past certain boundaries, but you can go through a lot more of those boundaries than you think, and the mind is the one that kind of blocks those as a self-preservation like technique.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: So it makes it makes complete sense why the body's trying to protect you from harming yourself, um, and you know, it's why you know pain, like and pain especially resonates.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a common saying, it sounds kind of annoying because it doesn't really feel that way, but it's like pain is in the brain, it's not like my pain in my knee is not actually from the knee because it's got to be sent up to my brain, and that's where I feel it, and that's where I understand it, which is why sometimes if you were to then go and smack my other knee, my right one stops hurting, yeah, and that's because there's then a distraction and like a prioritization of pain.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, that's that's the thing.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you're ever, I don't know, if anyone's been unfortunate enough to have a dislocation, uh, I've I've popped my shoulder out and popped some fingers out.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing you do is you create pain elsewhere on your body, you squeeze something really tight to distract yourself from the pain itself when it's gonna get popped back in, or you know, if you know something's gonna hurt, you grip your hand really hard and offset the pain and distract yourself from what is painful and it's it's just instinctual.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um biting down on a bit of wood or whatever it might be.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well have you bitten down on wood before?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, I've bitten down, I've been down on something.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember what it was when I popped my shoulder out.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Wood's crazy.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, they they put something in my mouth.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, I just bit gripped on my gum shield real hard, that's what it was.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, uh it's it's it's you your your body instinctively looks for something else to to offset that that pain.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: But but on that, it's it's pains in the brain, right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's why I really like the tool of filming your sets, and we've been through this before, I think.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's for me, sometimes I'll film a set of squats or deadlifts, and and uh it will suck and it will feel crap and like really heavy, and I feel like I'm pushing myself to the limit, and then I watch the video back and the barbell moves really well and really smoothly and really clean, and I'm like, oh, there's more in the tank.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's my brain telling me to stop, but my body has more capacity, so then you add more weight to the bar.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the best ways of getting stronger because going off what your brain is telling you is sometimes it's it's a safety net, it's like your your body's your brain's trying to protect your body, and it's so and it's ultimately our perception of things, and obviously we feel it from the inside.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I might I might look at your I might look at your rep and say, yeah, that looks that looks pretty easy, but I don't know what's going on inside your head.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think having that distance as well, having that distance, and you can kind of get onto it, that is like distance in the moment of having something that can take you outside of the the thing that you're experiencing to maybe you know put you into the the feeling of the like after you've done it to get yourself through it, or something like that, put you in a different place again.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe like a it's a form of distraction.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's thinking when things get really tough.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think these these tips I'll kind of go through, they are definitely um endurance, is definitely something that can be worked on a lot more when it's like prolonged endurance, right?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: We're talking like why when people rate how difficult the sessions are down here, like do a little uh wheel one out of ten on like the PT sessions.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever there's a cardio session, it's always rated a lot harder than a strength session because that mental endurance is something which it feels so much more harder, like from an experience perspective.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I think these are done with like prolong prolonged kind of efforts, and you can get to know yourself in that, and yeah, forecasting yourself to think, how am I gonna feel after this?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is it worth it?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then the cost-benefit analysis, like, is what the effort that I'm putting in, is it worth the reward after is the main thing.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like in the moment, it is we will be able to experience pain better if we can see that what we're doing is worth it and we're going to get the reward for it.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if I put you through a certain amount of exercises that are gonna have absolutely no impact on you, and you know they're gonna have no impact on you, let's say, then it's very unlikely that you're gonna be able to endure and suffer as much as if I were to give you something like maybe a reward, or you were able to, you know, even like a financial reward, a Kit Kat, uh, you know, some mini eggs, or like an MS chocolate chip cookie, and afterwards, then you're motivated to do it, and the motivation is really just a cost-benefit analysis, as if if what you're doing is like worth the task.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um but that is that's kind of like that's the second one.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: So the first one is distract, and that's understanding that you've got to focus your attention on something, you can't really focus your attention on nothing, and the more that you try and stop thinking about something, the more you'll end up thinking about it.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um the second one being embracing discomfort, going from being okay with discomfort to really understanding that the more that you embrace discomfort, the more almost kind of um from day to day, the the more competent you're gonna be at dealing with uncertainty, dealing with discomfort day to day.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're training a muscle.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the better you're gonna be day to day, you could do something difficult at the start of the day, and you realise like if you go to the gym early in the day, the rest of the day might seem a lot easier because you've done that one hard thing, you've done the discomfort, and you've set yourself up nicely for the day.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then the final one, the third one, which is probably the most difficult, but it's the most simple, is just letting go completely.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: So getting used to just you've got these thoughts, you could entertain them, you could try and distract yourself, you could try and focus on something else, you could try and really feel the pain of what's going on, or you could kind of get into let go of all of that and get into a certain element of flow where you are at one with the exercise that you're doing, and that's when like time doesn't become a thing, you're flying, you're you know, you're not clock watching, you're just so in the moment, and sometimes you actually completely forget about that experience because you are just so like in flow.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's a hard one to get to that.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably the most difficult, it is probably a progression thing, right?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: For for individuals.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some people might find distraction easier, but there's there's been a few times where it is would you call it flow state almost of in just being the suffering rather than leaning into it, you were just so present within that moment that you're not you I guess you're not thinking about anything.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this is the whole thing is that when once you start thinking about something or observing it, then you become separate from the experience that's going on.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I might be able to in a session, in a running session, let's say, or like a bike session, or on the ski og recently, is I can notice my thoughts, and there is almost a kind of a distance that I have between myself and the experience, like a tiny bit of like dissociation with it.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, once you get into flow, you almost drop in to the experience itself, and so you don't become an observer, like you say, you you become the experience, and that's being like fully immersed in the present.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that I think the most difficult thing about letting go is that it's the opposite of what we've been taught a lot of our lives about the way that we're gonna succeed is trying harder.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Letting go is the complete opposite.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Letting go, you you don't get better at letting go by trying to let go more.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like it's really counterintuitive.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's gotta be a really it's gotta be maybe a practice of letting go of thoughts or just not it's really hard to describe because it's such an experience which is it it doesn't if you were to describe it with words, you already have distance to the experience.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's quite hard to articulate, isn't it?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: But is it is it is it more to do with routine and structure?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Is are we talking about just purely the the event itself of working out or do performing endurance runs or exercise, or are we talking more about the process of on a day-to-day basis and being in the flow state?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where, for instance, if me at 14 years old looked at my work schedule now, I would have been like, oh my god, that's way too hard.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: How could I do that?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, there's no challenge at all because it is just what I do, there's no thought about it, it's just what happens in my life.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can we associate it to work schedules or is it purely just for the event of exercise?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's I think it's definitely it's applicable in in life across the board.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's attrition from life stresses all the time, right?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and that that can have a massive impact on people, but it's being able to kind of endure that is I guess it's not just related to exercise.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the most that's the most important thing, is that when we think about endurance with exercise, we think about trying harder or pushing harder, or the physic, like the physical or mental discomfort is something which might be like painful, like a like sharp or intense pain.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: It might be something which you know when we get when we're really going through a cardio session or a run or something, it's just physically hurts and it's quite intense.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas day-to-day, and it might be relatively short-lived, like even if it is an hour compared to day-to-day, it's you know relatively short-lived.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: When you talk about things across, you know, maybe more mundane or more kind of uh lower frequency stresses, things that aren't as intense, then you're looking at things that might not be really obvious as discomfort.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: It might be it, it just might be a little bit more like numb.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: It might just feel uh like you it's just not really worth doing.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's not really obvious that it's painful or it's really discomforting.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: It just feels a little bit off and you might just be a little bit more susceptible to distractions, like you know, like your phone or like going and eating something or going out with your mates or or something that that is just taking your attention away from it.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like discomfort, I think, across the board is not necessarily something that should be felt as you know complete like physical, intense discomfort.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: But you're like, say, when when you wanna when you're when you're working, it's it's maybe just noticing how it might show up, how it might manifest there.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I think most of that comes down to having the thing that you're doing at the moment as the priority and prioritizing that over anything else.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you're you know, if you're if I want to do a if I want to get into flow in a running session, the bike session, ski oak session, any sort of cross-training, I make sure that that is the most important thing at the time.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I make sure that when I enter the gym, my whole attention is on the gym session.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: I know that I'm not bringing my work to the gym, I'm not bringing my laptop to the gym, I've got my phone on, do not disturb.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: The only time I'll go on my phone is if I'm changing music, maybe, but also I don't even want to change music on it because it takes me out, takes me out of flow.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's setting the conditions and the environment so that you can more easily understand that what you're doing right now is a priority, and that goes across the board.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, having you know, I do it when I'm sleeping is well before I sleep, to be fair, it's probably worth like mentioning, not while I'm sleeping, but before I sleep, I leave my phone downstairs.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it means that and I I mean it might just be a blessing that I have, like I do a lot of training, I'm pretty tired when I get to bed, um, but I make sure and I'd fall asleep pretty much straight away, right?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm I'm in I'm asleep within a couple of minutes of like my head hitting the pillow.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um but if I had my if I was struggling to sleep and I have my phone in my room and I have that that kind of that distraction, that um what you call it almost like something competing for your attention and your priority is in my head because that's an easier thing to reach for than to keep kind of like going to fall asleep, then my brain will see that as something which is more important than me sleeping at the time.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's just easier to pick up through habit or whatever.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's it really is it's good developing the traits to understand the priorities, but then it's also creating an environment creating an environment where the priorities are more obvious and it's making that decision beforehand and associating a place like like I do with the literally even the machine.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: That I use.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's two Skiogue machines.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: I always go on the one on the right.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm uh even if the one on the left is free, I'll always use the one on the right.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because I have a strong association with the things that I've built up in my training with getting into flow with that machine.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that it just makes it easier to access.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if that does that make sense, it no, it it does.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: It does.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: But for instance, let's let's take Mark as we spoke to him on the previous episode.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: An individual that clearly knows how to endure, right?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: In the business world and life stress, a lot got a lot of injuries over the years, very, very hard working, and many people might resonate with this, also trying to have a family at the same time, and a lot of a lot of things operating at once.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: But making that transition into training struggled with uh perhaps being able to endure the hunger when he was trying to lose weight, or struggling with enduring training three times a week.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: How do you make that transition from enduring life to enduring training and nutrition?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think first off, you've got to understand that it is all part of life.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is why I I have the similarities of I use training as my playground and then I notice it in other aspects of life is that and as as we were saying with Mark, like a lot of things work in the same way.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of the processes that you have learned can also be applied to training.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like Mark, you know, Mark was saying that the way that he has learned to work, um, he just takes that system of working and getting good at something with data.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's getting he's learning the data, he uses data as a motivation, he knows how he works, and then he just applies it to his training.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I think first of all, it's it's really understanding how you work as a person, understanding your tendencies.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um and and that takes a lot of time.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean it would take a lot of time, um, but it's the the real constant across those, and you've got to think of it as the constant is you are the person that is doing those things.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: You are the person that is doing the the work, you are the person that is doing the training, like you are the constant between those, and so your experience in one is going to relate to the other.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that kind of goes that does go on to a an idea which is what I see as the family of selves.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it's understanding that we kind of operate, we have like multiple personalities, not in like a disorderly way, not in like you might have multiple personality disorder, but this is more an asset that we have, and it is shown by different emotions.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like we act differently when we are feeling angry, we act differently when we're feeling demotivated, we act differently when we're feeling tired, when we're upbeat.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: We're almost like completely different people in some in some ways.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we act differently when you know I might be at work like with one client and then with another.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's like being adaptable in those different circumstances.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: And what it really is is really understanding how that type of self, how that self shows up.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if they are a family or if they are a team of selves, it is understanding how it shows up, understanding how it can maybe disrupt or ruin the progress of another self.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, as an example, let's say that um when on a on a Tuesday evening, let's say I've had really good sleep on the Monday, um, I've got up, I've started off Monday night, I've left my phone downstairs, I've had really good sleep, I've woken up, I've had a good day at work, I've you know, everything's going well with my knee, and go down to training, everything's fine, I'm really motivated, I'm really up for it, I've got energy, I've eaten enough what I need to eat, and everything's high flying, and I can get into the session, I can give my best, and it's fantastic.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: And on that, on that Tuesday, I'm like, this is going amazing.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but there's a couple of things in my lifestyle that I'm not really happy about.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: Let's say that you know I I've I want to cut back on drinking at the weekend, or I've just remembered how good it is that I've had a really good night's sleep, and I want to make sure when I get to the weekend when I actually need to recover, that I'm gonna make sure that I go to bed at the same time on the Friday that I do on the Tuesday, and then get up alright on the Saturday.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Then Friday, and that's really convincing, right?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've got this this self of mine, it's very motivated.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: My Tuesday self is motivated, he's got loads of energy, he smashed the session, he's done really well.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: Friday comes around, and Friday's kind of forgotten about the Tuesday self a little bit.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: You can kind of remember what he was saying.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a bit of a background thought of like, oh, that does sound good.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna get good sleep.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna, you know, cut out.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know that drinking is something that's gonna disrupt my sleep, and it's a really good idea.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: But let's say that I'm caught off guard, I'm rushing back from work, I don't really have time to compose myself.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: One of my mates has invited me out to the pub, and there's a bit of peer pressure, I have a couple of drinks, and then I found myself in a situation where I am now two-pint Charlie, and I'm a different self.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: I've got different perspectives, different experiences of life, got a bit of booze in me, and that two-pint self, let's say, now has completely different motivations, has completely different views of what is worth doing and what is not.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: My two-pint self now no longer sees what I've said on the Tuesday as relevant, right?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: There will be certain thoughts, and it might even be really soft thoughts, where it seems like um it's gonna be a good thing to me to let my hair down sometimes, right?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: It I come round and I'm like, I've had a couple of drinks, and it goes, Oh, like it's great to be locked in on a Tuesday, but you know, I I should also live life a bit.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: I should always be like, you know, you you should have balance.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: You have all of these thoughts that come in that are trying to try and convince you that you can have a few more drinks and it's worth it for that Friday.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it seems like a great idea at the time.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Saturday rolls around, and you wake up, and I'm like, I regret drinking loads, end up having 10 pints, end up having four hours of sleep, and now I've got to go and train, and now I've got to go and do the stuff that I said I was gonna do again, and I'm like, this is now it's something that I've done to myself, but it's also what it is is a complete disconnection from those two selves.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: My Tuesday self and my Friday self aren't playing on the same team, they're not playing for the same like rewards, they're not doing the things that are gonna help each other out, and there's just a disconnection between those two, and I think that real understanding, and I've done it through journaling, um, and paying attention, being aware, maybe doing some meditation, and really looking at which parts of myself might be the ones that undo the progress and how does that voice sound?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because the voice can be really convincing, and like I say, it can it can tell you that it's it's a really good thing to do, um, not in like a devil way, but just in a nice kind of enticing, it's very good at making up reasons, making very good at convincing you.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but actually it's not something that's aligned with your values and your long-term goals.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I I once asked someone, who are you?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: I had a consultation, not going to disclose, and they said, right now, this is who I am, and they spoke about their multiple different selves, and I I found it fascinating because they were too they were talking to me about journaling and how they journal every day because they need to express how their different self is on any given day, and sometimes when people journal, one self might only be journaling, right?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're only really getting perhaps that motivated person who wants to journal.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: And how important is it in your perspective to journal on the days you don't want to journal and journal on the days you want to journal, because that's really the the point to express and understand these different versions of yourself throughout the experience.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's so important.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's such a good point.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: The consistency of just writing things down, and actually, like you say, it's not the motivation to want to journal is not actually for the most part, in my experience, it's not gonna come about when you're on top of the world.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually only gonna come about when, and we've spoken about this on on the previous episodes, when you're not in a good spot.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: We tend to journal when things aren't going right.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: And if you only tend to journal when things aren't going right, and you flick through your journal and you go back through the archives, all you're gonna see is in the spots where you wanted to make change, not the spots where you're proving that you are doing the things that are creating the change.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: So the most important thing that I do is regardless, and having a consistent journaling practice, um I've talked talked about it before, is having a uh you know, writing things down when you are feeling good, you're feeling bad, or you're neutral.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um if you don't want to journal, if you do, just like making a habit of that.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then what you can do is you can have a good representation of your multiple selves.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like you say, like you if you get an o overwhelming number or percentage of your journal being a certain type of self, you don't have a good picture of everything.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and looking at it, I guess, from a more like objective point of view, just giving yourself a little bit of distance and becoming then not the family of selves or the team, but then the manager of those selves, which is obviously they're still emotionally involved with the team, but they're a little bit more of a looking at things objectively and saying, like, oh gosh, like I've I've really got to listen to you know my Saturday morning self a little bit better.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: I go through and maybe the words don't resonate with me as much.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Yeah, he said that you know, he said that he felt like he felt terrible after a night out, but Monday came around and he was okay again, so it's like you know, you just gotta go through like a Saturday or a Sunday.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that is it.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it is having a consistent practice and getting to know them as well as possible, um, and getting to know the thought processes.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I have it a lot, like I have my notes app where I'll just write things down if I'm on the bike.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think what I'm gonna do if I end up writing a book about any of the stuff that like I have any like philosophies or whatever, I'll probably write it when I'm on the bike or when I'm like you know out running and I'll probably speak and voice memo it because those are the certain points where I'm the most creative and have the most creative ideas, and so I want to have those so I can reflect on them afterwards.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean we've all got our phones, so you don't need to have a pen and paper and write it down, you just kind of like you know, either voice memo it or just write it down your notes.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Journaling seems to be a recurring topic within our pod and the importance of it.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was writing in my journal the other day.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I know Xavier, you can't look in there.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I walked in, I walked in and I looked over guys' shoulder as I do.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I was just checking if you're doing work, you know.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: Just being a good business owner that I am and manager, and I looked over and half a second later you were like, nope, no, no.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, not today.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Important brainstorming, future planning, but being present to understand why I might be feeling the way I wanted to feel or the way I didn't want to feel, and that was a good practice I put myself through that day, and it it it made a lot of things I understood my emotions a little bit better after doing that practice, and it was very simple.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um I can share with you now.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: How did you how what was the structure the structure of your journaling?
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: How did you go about it?
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: That structure was very methodical in the sense I identified aspects of my life and aspects of the business which I'm working hard to build and improve on.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I just simply went through a stress structure of like, okay, what causes me the most stress, what causes me the most happiness, what gives me the most energy?
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and really just trying to sit there and uh and sit in the present and how I felt in that moment of what am I going in the right direction?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what what is it I'm trying to achieve out of doing these new ventures within the business or in life?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what's actually adding to my life and what's taking from it, and what's got potential, but what actually aligns with what I want to do.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: And these are the things I was really trying to work out at that moment in time, and I took a couple hours to do it because it it needed to be done, and it brought, you know, it came to me that you know there's some things that actually I'm just making myself busy because I love being busy, you know, and not necessarily going to align with my vision of what Barn is, and it might not take it in places I want it to go, but you know, that that's a whole that's a whole little that could be a whole topic.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um but it what a what a great practice just putting pen to paper and and and brainstorming my emotions in that time and and and what I wanted to what I what do I want to get out of life?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want to get out of Barn Gym?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: What what does it mean to me?
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: What does Barn mean to me?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: How how do I make sure that Barn remains that and it doesn't adapt into something I don't want it to become?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um a great practice, which how many people do you know that journal?
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very few, very few.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I also wouldn't ask and it's not necessarily something you ask, it's quite a personal thing.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think it naturally comes up in conversations, but probably yeah, it probably doesn't come up in conversations.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't come up in conversation, but not many people, probably not enough people understand how a simple task can add so much value to your life.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um hardly any of my friends, maybe let's say 10% of the people I know journal.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um lot of people ask why, what's the point?
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: But we've been discussing it and the importance of it.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I think the biggest thing um is the importance of understanding that change is a thing which happens all the time.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: Change is a constant in life, it's the thing that keeps things moving, it keeps the life process going.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we measure change?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: Change is measured Well, no, time is measured by change, is what you're going for.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, yeah.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's the other way around.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: I've I've maybe that's but change is one state and then there's another state.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the biggest thing you understand through the journaling practice is that change is possible because if you if you like to go one step further with the journaling practice, and instead of using the journaling practice to analyze something else, you uh then start analyzing the journaling practice itself, which is just the meta journaling, which is what I like to do, which is using the journaling practice itself as understanding how I feel before I journal, and then understanding how I feel during, and then understanding how I feel after, and noticing that.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: So before, sometimes I might not see the point of journaling.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's like step one for the most part.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: If I now now I've internalized the importance of it, it's pretty automatic.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I know it deep down.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's quite a lot that's going to take me away from understanding it, the pro like practice that I've done over the last couple of years.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: But initially, I didn't see much of a point in it.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: It was something that I wanted to try out, but I was like, I might be kind of consistent with it, but sometimes I'm like, I'm in my own head and I'd prefer to just be in my own head.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: But then what I noticed was I was like, actually, every time that I journal, step one is I don't want to journal.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Step two is I journal anyway, and step three is I feel better because I journaled.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: That is literally the process of probably a lot of things in life is you don't want to do it because you don't really see the point in it, or you don't understand what it's going to give you.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: You force yourself to do it, you try and convince yourself to do it, you do it, and then afterwards you feel better.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of like exercise, pretty much, for most for most people.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that before, during and after, and this is the the thread between the multiple selves.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like I say, those selves, it's not just Tuesday and Friday, it could it's not just necessarily days apart.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: It might be you know me at like at work today, and then me when I leave and I go home, right?
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: It might be hours apart, or even might be an interaction, like a interaction like you know, someone's cut you off in traffic and you go from being really calm and chill to a split second second later, you're really angry and you're beeping your horn and whatever.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, those those the understanding of like how you are, you know, before a state change and then after, and trying to have a thread between those two and having a you know, we were talking with Rachel on the podcast about mindfulness, is having those core values and those things that you live by that are consistent, and within those multiple, you know, the family of cells that you've got, you all want to have the family value, like you want to have something which is consistent throughout, you want to have something which is let's say like honesty or integrity, or uh you want to be you know open or kind or loving, or something which is in alignment across, and have something which can remind you to act in accordance with that between those selves.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: So even if you get to a Friday self and you wanna you wanna have a drink or you want to do something that might conflict with the progress you know before, is are you mindful, are you being honest with yourself, are you reminding yourself of the importance of the other part of the family that that you've kind of built up in yourself?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the relationship that I have with myself that I've seen is is quite important with like emotional state changes.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now I think a lot of listeners will be resonating with different states of self, especially with self-sabotage, right?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um weekends, as you discussed earlier, going for that beer, getting invited out, a different self coming out, and how we can adapt ourselves to different situations, different people, different work environments, social life.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think is the most helpful tip?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or how do you try and operate as a constant when trying to pursue a goal when there are these different versions of self coming present?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: You have your target, you might let's just use fat loss, right?
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: Easy, fitness relatable.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: But you acknowledge that there's different versions of yourself which might be more likely to self-sabotage.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do you keep a constant pursuit of motivation, discipline in order to achieve that goal?
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think the first thing that the first thing that comes to mind, and again, like I'm not, you know, I'm not a psychologist, I'm not, you know, someone that's going to change someone's behaviour from you know a scientific perspective, or I I have more, I see I have more like I'm not an expert in any of this, more like expertise, because I've understood it from from my like own experience.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: And from my own experience, one thing is that there's a there's a pull and a kind of an urge to get rid of a self and resist that self that is self-sabotaging, right?
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: Is to say that well, I'm just gonna I'm I don't like you know, there's shame and there's guilt towards that version of me that is disrupting all of my progress.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like that person, you know, it comes from more of a negative affect, like a negative part of the that relationship, the perspective that you have of that self.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's it's just being a good friend to yourself, right?
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's being it's how would you treat someone that you know you want to be on the same team as them?
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think team sports is really important, like when we grow up and we look at leadership and we look at you know how are you going to get people on your side?
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not by you know lashing them and beating them up and forcing them to do it, because that's not a healthy relationship to have.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like with yourself, and I started.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had a lot of a lot of the time, all I wanted to do is just eliminate it.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to eliminate that part of myself, and I just want to have the good bits.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: But it's more, it's not an elimination of it, it's more that you are just you're understanding really where their motivations come from.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's sitting beside that version of yourself and saying, like, okay, you know what, what am I fearful of of changing?
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what would I have to let go to then um maybe loosen my grip or get you know, change that behaviour?
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: What would I have to let go in myself to drink less on a night out or to not drink at all?
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: And what am I afraid of?
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it might be something like I don't I really don't want to be perceived as being boring, you know.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have to let go of the part of myself that's the life and the soul of the party, not that I necessarily was, but but there's you know, there's there's a certain element of having the the pain of letting go of a previous version of yourself, um, but it's it's it's not eliminating, it's letting go in the sense that the the dial is the volume is turned down a little bit more, and the volume is turned up day to day on the the ones the parts of yourself that is acting in alignment with your core values, and I think that that level of you know understanding of you know you're not you're not fighting against it, you're working with it, you're working as a team to have a better relationship with yourself, you're not lashing yourself into submission to get things done in service of a goal.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and those are things that I've realized when I can start to move with the let's say the pain or discomfort, and when we talk about embracing, it's really embracing it and really feeling it all and using the pain and the discomfort in the session or um of trying to pick up a new habit or something when there are distractions, it's using that as a signal and using that to carry you further.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's working along with yourself and understanding that.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: Look, that's the best answer you could have given, I believe, Charlie.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, it does really make sense.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: I hope the listeners can make sense of this self of you, this this type of Charles Xavier experiencing today.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's very I gotta say, it's very similar to a lot of what I have now.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's not much contrast.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm not very different day to day.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: I used to be I used to feel like I was very different one day than the other, and I really didn't like being boring, or I didn't I wanted to have the highs and the lows.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't really want to have the consistency day to day, but then I kind of you know I I saw what was the thing that was undoing me, and it was the really reaching for the highs, really reaching for the lows, and I thought I I confused uh stability with being boring, and consistency with being boring, and so I didn't want to be boring, and so therefore I wasn't consistent.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_01: So when I understood that actually you can be you having stability and having security in yourself is a lot more of a a comfortable thing day to day than the boring thing doesn't matter.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is all perspective as well, like what is boring?
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: Boring perhaps to our peer group might be not going out every weekend and getting blackout drunk in a nightclub, but it's it is different from person to person.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like you know, someone just told me they you know they were working on a novel and writing each week weekend rather than going out.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's quite interesting.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's different.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's and and and that's you know, someone telling me that rather than oh yeah, I'm just going out with my mates and getting pissed up tonight.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, well, like that's what everyone else is doing.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is your observation of that person writing a book on a weekend?
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is that boring?
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's different, it's unique, it's not what others do.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I sometimes people look at me, I've friends who said it themselves, you know, oh, I'm working this weekend.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, come out.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, well, no, I'm actually trying to build a business that's changing people's lives.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's pretty cool.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: I I might want to, you know, I wanna I want to work on that a little bit more than just going out and trashing myself.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: But that being said, I also acknowledge that there is a version of myself that needs to be let out every once in a while.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he will be let out in China for a few nights and it might run into the next day, who knows?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: But there's there's a level of acknowledgement where I used to party a lot more when I was younger, and and now I've very much got it under wraps, and and I kind of understand, but I do understand that that person needs to come out every once in a while, say hello to keep him contained.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: He's he's he's chained up somewhere inside me right now.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: You can't keep him chained up for that long, otherwise they're gonna they're gonna burst out properly.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you'll burst out, but not only just but but it'll be bursting out and showing himself in different ways, causing stress or having odd cravings for things one nights that there shouldn't be.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, okay, he needs to be let out for a little bit and enjoy himself, and then I can return back to being my regular self, which is motivated, forward thinking, trying to be somewhat present, but working towards a common goal that I know will all bring me happiness.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: But that's why it's always important for me to have holidays every few months, well, not a few months, like a couple times a year where I know I can just fully kind of let go and go bonkers and not think about anything because I know I'm gonna come back recharged and ready to to come back into that self which is motivated forward thinking and and wants to do something.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that's I think that's the most important bit is is that is is having everyone kind of talk you talk about balance, but really the way that I see balance is is working like paying attention to the thing that is most important at the time.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: So being you know present in the activity that you're doing and doing it properly and doing it to your best ability.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm in the gym, do it in the gym.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: Nice, go and get my session done, get it ticked off, that's boxed off, that's done for the day.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: When I go home, I then don't think about the gym.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I might might reflect on it maybe, but it's not like I'm I'm then my then focus, my attention is on the present again as it moves.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: If I you know, if I wanted to front load, you know, wanted to front load the week, get all the stuff done, get all of the work done, get all of the all of the exercise done so that you can do it at the weekend, spot on.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, get get it done, and then you can you know go and do whatever you know you want to do.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the best thing about having like an off-season as well.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like I you know, I'm less I I like drinking a lot less now because it I see how much it conflicts with my states day to day that I want to be in.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: But like at the end, you know, every like you say, a couple times a year, it's so good just to you know let it out and go and experience, and you've that's also what you kind of will work towards and like had the motivation of working towards as well, right?
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, of course.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm aware of the time, Charles, but do you have a a finishing note?
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: Do I have a finishing note?
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_01: Apart from the fact that I didn't really get on to other stuff, but we can do a part two.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_00: What was the yeah, I think we could do a part two on this one.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean I'm really enjoying the quality of the conversation, but we got places we've got to be today.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: We do, we do indeed.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I've got written down here, I think this I think this kind of this this sums it up, um, which is to deeply understand how you operate when experiencing different emotions.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that really comes down to being aware of um how you're feeling, being in tune with how that emotion feels without labelling f labelling it first, and then over time familiarising yourself with just what makes you tick, what makes you not the what happens on the days or prior to the days where you're really on it, what happens when you're prior to the days that you're really not, um, and it's really just a journey of like self-discovery.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really it's it's got nothing to do with anyone else apart from the fact that everything that you know everything that you would do would then be able to allow you to give more to everyone else.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Xavier.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, guy.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well we'll see you for part two, guys, because this this conversation I think needs to be continued.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: Next next part two, where we are going to talk about the brain, the anterior mid singular cortex and the importance that it has with doing hard things.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: We could get into the reticular activating system as well.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know much about that?
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: You'll have to teach me.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, no, that that'll be an exciting topic.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, all right.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_00: All right, see you guys in the next one.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: Bye bye.