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5 Things you may not have known about Narcissists · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So there's a lot of things that people do not know about
• 0:04
  narcissist. If you new here, my name is Lee
• 0:06
  Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:08
  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of reading Narcissist Code. Welcome back, folks.
• 0:29
  Welcome back. Welcome back.
• 0:30
  Welcome back. Yes, five things.
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  Maybe more. Maybe more.
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  Minimum. A minimum of five things is
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  something those pops into my head.
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  I'm just going to add it to the list.
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  Five things that people do not know, Things you might not know
• 0:46
  about narcissists and toxic people.
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  So y'all these are things. For my own personal observation,
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  this is anecdotal stuff, not some of it is anecdotal, but
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  some of it is, you know, backed by our research from other
• 0:56
  people have done and whatnot. So #1 on the list and y'all, do
• 1:02
  not be mad at me. Don't get in the comment
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  section. Be like Lee, I hate you so damn
• 1:05
  much. I knew that you're lying.
• 1:07
  You don't know what you're talking about.
• 1:08
  Unsubscribe. No.
• 1:09
  Y'all, please. Just bear with me.
• 1:12
  You know the first thing is going to be so super simplistic.
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  And this is scientifically proven that narcissists are
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  people too. Narcissists are people, not
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  demons. Not Jezebel's, Not narcissistic
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  robots here programmed to hurt you, love bomb you and take you
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  down. They're not robotic meat sex.
• 1:32
  I have narcissistic personality disorder, but I'm still a
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  person. You know, a lot of, Do a lot of
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  narcissistic people end up being bad people?
• 1:38
  Absolutely, yes. A lot of narcissists out here
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  tend to be horrible people. You know, they don't care about
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  how they affect people. They don't care how about how
• 1:46
  they treat people and things of that nature.
• 1:49
  But yeah, they are still people. This is not me trying to dredge
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  up some sympathy or some empathy or some compassion for the
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  narcissistic person who hurt you.
• 1:58
  That is not what I'm trying to do, you know?
• 2:00
  But a lot of people in my comment sections and things like
• 2:02
  that, they just like narcissism is a spirit.
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  You need to cast out that spirit.
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  Y'all. If you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, you cannot pray the toxicity away.
• 2:11
  This isn't my perspective. You can pray for God's guidance
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  to help you and to strengthen you, but you yeah, it's just so
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  many people who have stayed in types of relationships praying
• 2:20
  and hoping that that person will change.
• 2:22
  Yeah, that is, that is a person, a damaged person who might have
• 2:25
  got hurt in their childhood or something like that, but it's
• 2:27
  still a person, you know. And once you personify them and
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  don't look at them, once you personify this narcissistic
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  person and not look at them like there's some higher superior
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  being, I feel like they can help you.
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  I feel like they can help you transition into a better
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  lifestyle, into a better dynamic, you know what I mean?
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  Once you personify them and look at them as a person and not as a
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  deity or some greater being or some lesser being like a a, you
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  know, something like that. I feel like they help us.
• 2:53
  A lot of people right there, I feel like they can help you heal
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  in that space. This is not me trying to just
• 2:57
  get you to like, hey, narcissists are people too.
• 2:59
  They just hurt. So this make this is not me
• 3:01
  trying to make an excuse for somebody who hurts you because
• 3:04
  hell no, that's not the that's not that's not a channel for
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  that. And I got a whole bunch of
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  people on Reddit crying about it.
• 3:10
  This is not a channel for you to drudge of empathy for someone
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  who's hurting you. That's not that.
• 3:14
  Yeah, they might, yeah, they might be people and they might
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  have got hurt in their childhood, but that absolutely
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  does not justify what they put you through or what they've
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  done. You know, So personify them.
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  Don't look at them as as superior beings that have some
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  type of power over you. Narcissist only have the power
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  that is given to them that they feel like they can take from
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  you. You have the power, you can take
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  it back. So hope that helps.
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  The second one I wrote on the list is the lack of empathy.
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  Y'all the the lack of empathy. Not all narcissists have 0
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  empathy there. There's some narcissist.
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  Y'all they have no empathy at all.
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  But those those people right there would slide up the scale
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  of the dark triad and be more likely be sociopath or
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  psychopaths. You know your your regular
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  run-of-the-mill narcissist like myself.
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  I have a a certain level of empathy.
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  I think most narcissists lack emotional empathy, right?
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  They like emotional empathy. They have some of it.
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  Some narcissists do have emotional empathy, but the
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  emotional empathy is typically reserved for the people closest
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  to them, you know, or their animals or their pets.
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  The people, the people. In my radius, my emotional
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  empathy extends to if if they do have it.
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  Most narcissistic people tend to possess what people refer to as
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  cognitive empathy. Like, it's empathy, but it's not
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  the emotional connection that that emotional empathy requires.
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  You know, cognitive empathy is me knowing why you are crying,
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  but me not crying with you. Me not connecting to the
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  feelings enough to cry with you or understand the feelings
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  behind the tears and things of that nature.
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  I know why you're crying. I get it.
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  Your dog passed away. I get it.
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  You, you, whatever happens, you, you, you suffered some type of
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  catastrophe. I understand why you're crying,
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  but it doesn't affect me directly.
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  So I don't feel it. Do you see what I'm saying?
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  It doesn't affect me directly. So I don't feel.
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  I don't. I don't.
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  I it doesn't. You won't get the empathy from
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  that person right there in that space, you know, So they have
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  some of them have empathy. You know, I know people say the
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  lack of empathy. Not all narcissists lack
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  empathy. There's the craziest statistics
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  out there. Y'all just Google narcissist and
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  lack of empathy because some of them have empathy.
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  But but I'll say this right here.
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  If they don't have empathy or have super low levels of
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  emotional empathy, you can't teach them emotional empathy.
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  You can't do that. Y'all.
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  You can't teach them how to be more compassionate.
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  You can't teach them that you can't.
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  That's something that the empathy is typically learned in
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  childhood and bestowed upon them in childhood.
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  As a grown ass adult, you can't teach them empathy.
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  So I'll leave it at that right there.
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  Y'all the cognitive empathy. You know, I have more cognitive
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  empathy than the emotional empathy, but I I, I, you know,
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  my emotional empathy, again, is reserved more for my kids and
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  whatnot. My cognitive empathy is, is
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  super high. I'm learning more.
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  I'm feeling more. You know, I meditate a lot.
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  I can, yeah, I'm. I'm connected.
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  I'm working, you know, six years of therapy, it will help you
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  through #3. And this is probably going to be
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  #3. This is probably going to be the
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  most controversial one, but it shouldn't be.
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  How do I say this? I don't think that all
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  narcissists cheat. That's all I want to say, #4,
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  and I was joking. Now, not all narcissists have
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  the ability to cheat, can they? I know a lot of people consider
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  emotional cheating. They think, well, some
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  narcissist absolutely emotionally cheat on you.
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  Yeah, but some narcissists won't cheat on you.
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  Or some of them. Some of them don't.
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  Some of them don't have the ability to cheat on you.
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  Some of them don't cheat. You know, do a lot of
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  narcissists cheat? Do do.
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  Do the grand majority of narcissists cheat?
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  Yes. But not every single
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  narcissistic person cheats. You know if the opportunity
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  presented itself with some of them cheat that that that are
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  not cheating right now. Probably maybe you know.
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  But I don't think all narcissists cheat.
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  I promise you, just in those spaces right there.
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  Some narcissistic people get into committed relationships and
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  and commit but they treat you horribly because they yeah, they
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  they think that you belong to them.
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  You know and things of that nature right there this video
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  will make out bad. Like Lee I'm out of here.
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  I'm out. Yeah.
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  But this is me being real. But you, you see it in my
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  comment section. I see it in my comment section
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  all the time. Mine didn't cheat because a lot
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  of them won't physically cheat, but some of them will do the
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  emotional cheating. Y'all where they, they
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  emotionally connect to somebody else and they're sharing.
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  They're sharing this emotional connection with somebody else.
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  You know, if there's grounds for leaving a relationship and you
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  consider that cheating, then yeah, by all means, you know?
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  But I don't think all narcissists, like, absolutely
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  got her. And they clapping everybody's
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  cheeks or getting their cheeks clapped by everybody.
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  I just don't. Yeah, It's just you can Google
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  it too, and people will say it. You know, not all narcissists
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  have the Some narcissistic people are just, you know, not
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  all. I say like this.
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  Not all narcissists are super attractive.
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  You see what I'm saying? Not all of them.
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  Some of them, some narcissists are in cells and once they get a
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  hold of somebody, they hold on to that person because they
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  don't. Some of them are so shameful or
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  so ashamed of themselves. They don't, they don't think
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  anybody else will want them, so they don't pursue anybody else.
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  Sometimes they don't cheat because there's a fear that
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  nobody else wants them. The fear of rejection keeps
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  them, keeps them with you, but they treat you badly because
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  they're scared to get rejected by other people.
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  It's just a while. They feel like they can do more.
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  They feel like they deserve better than you, which is crazy
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  as hell. But then they have this fear
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  going to get rejected. So they stay with you, but they
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  resent you. They treat you horribly.
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  So yeah, I told you all this video I hear you go make out
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  bad, you know? But y'all can't be.
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  Like I said, this is stuff I hear.
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  You might not have known, you know, I know most a lot of
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  people might have gotten cheated on.
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  This is not me saying that narcissist didn't cheat on you.
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  This is me just trying to say y'all.
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  This is just a different perspective, different
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  perspective. Right here.
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  Number 4, #4, Not all narcissist.
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  Hoover. Not all narcissist.
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  What I mean by Hoover is that not all narcissist will try to
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  get back with you will try to get back in a relationship with
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  you. Not all narcissist do that.
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  Y'all. And that's just me being
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  realistic. Some of them will absolutely
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  leave you alone, you know. I'll do a longer video on why
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  all narcissists don't hover you or try to get back with you, but
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  not all of them will try to get back with you.
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  Some of them, they say, some of them are too ashamed to try to
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  come back to you because they've done you wrong, They've done you
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  horrible, you know? Or some of them see that you you
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  might have moved on to somebody else that they feel like they
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  they they feel like if I see you move on to somebody that I feel
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  inferior to, then that's going to probably maybe not wrong to
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  reach out to you again or or or the opposite.
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  It can be true as well. If I feel like you moved on to
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  someone, I feel like it is inferior to me.
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  Now I just look at you like yo-yo, your taste is horrible.
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  You can't do. Yeah, it makes me look at you
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  differently as well, you know. So not all narcissists, not all
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  narcissists will try to get back in the relationship with you.
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  Some of them will absolutely leave you alone.
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  And that's where the Reverse Hoover comes into play.
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  Because reverse the Reverse Hoover requires you as the
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  person, the victim survivor, to reach out to the narcissist.
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  You see what I'm saying? You end up reaching out to them
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  and then you, like, say you were you Hoover yourself back into a
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  relationship with them, you know, you suck.
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  You pretty much suck yourself back into a relationship with a
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  narcissistic person, and then you end up getting treated
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  horribly as a result. That happens all the time.
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  The Reverse Hoover is a real thing, yo.
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  And the last but not least #5. Not all narcissists are created
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  the same or act the same. Some narcissists, A lot of
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  narcissists are created through trauma and neglect in their
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  childhood, abuse in their childhood.
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  A lot of narcissists are created in horrible homes.
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  You know where they have to, they grow up, have to do having
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  to defend themselves. They grow up without a sense of
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  safety. They grow up, you know, without
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  a sense of security within their lives and within their spaces
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  and what not. But that's what happens.
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  That's how I was created. Just neglect, you know, not
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  getting my feelings validated. Emotional neglect, you know, got
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  whooped as a kid, too. But there's, you know, that's
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  beyond. That's the whole different
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  story. Not not getting the love that I
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  crave for my father figure and whatnot.
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  You know what I mean? That create helped create me.
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  But some narcissists are not created through trauma.
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  Not all narcissists have a traumatic childhood in that
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  sense. Some narcissists are created
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  through just having never been told no, having no boundaries as
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  a person. Like as a child you grow up and
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  your parents is idolize you and treat you like you can do no
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  wrong. So you grow up thank you, you
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  can do no wrong. You grow up thinking that the
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  world revolves around you like you have your own orbit in the
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  world revolves around you and everybody else is just living in
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  your universe. So not all narcissists are
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  created through trauma. Some of them are created through
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  just just being spoiled to the hell, you know, I mean spoiled
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  to death, which you can also. And some people can look at that
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  as trauma too, because, you know, some people will probably
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  view that as trauma because you didn't get boundaries set on
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  you, like you just had an open, open lifestyle and nobody ever
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  told you no. So yeah, sometimes, sometimes
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  you have a lot of money and you can buy your way out of stuff so
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  you never got in trouble, so you never face the consequences of
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  your actions growing up. And yeah, it can make you highly
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  narcissistic, if not a narcissist, you know, sometimes,
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  sometimes there could be a genetic component to it as well.
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  But like I said, not all narcissists are created the same
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  way. And not all narcissists going to
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  behave the same either. Yeah, because I feel like
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  there's so many different subtle things that make it that can
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  play come into play as a narcissist.
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  You know, not all narcissists. Some narcissists are tall, some
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  are short. Some are white, black, Hispanic,
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  you know, Asian, you know, there's so many different races.
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  I feel like your race matters. Your ethnicity matters.
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  Your location matters. Your religion matters.
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  Your educational background matters.
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  Your socio economic, your socio economic standing matters.
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  Like there's so many different things that come into play of
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  how you how you turn out and how you behave, you know?
• 12:55
  But anyways y'all hope this video didn't rub you out the
• 12:57
  wrong way. Y'all know that it's not my
• 12:58
  intent. I just wondered.
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  This is they just answered some questions that people always ask
• 13:01
  me. I I I said all this before.
• 13:03
  You know I said all this before in different videos but I
• 13:06
  decided to compile it into this list of you know concise 5
• 13:09
  things you didn't know you or you may not have known.
• 13:11
  You might think I'm wrong at school.
• 13:13
  Y'all I'm fine with y'all thinking I'm wrong.
• 13:15
  I promise you I do. You know, I promise you I I'm
• 13:18
  fine with you thinking I'm wrong.
• 13:19
  You say Lee. I disagree because this.
• 13:21
  I'm like cool. I'm fine with disagreements.
• 13:23
  Yeah, I promise you I'm fine with disagreements.
• 13:25
  I just don't do the disrespect. Just be not just be cool, be
• 13:28
  cool. I'm not disrespecting you.
• 13:29
  Be cool with me. You know what I mean?
• 13:30
  We be cool. Let's just vibe, let's vibe, We
• 13:33
  vibe. We can deal.
• 13:34
  We can dancing the conversation like that.
• 13:37
  Anyways, y'all thank you all so much.
• 13:39
  Yeah, I'm super appreciative of every single one of y'all make
• 13:41
  sure y'all like and subscribe if you haven't.
• 13:43
  Check out the Self Love Journal on Amazon and Mental Illness is
• 13:46
  out Peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 13:49
  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
• 13:51
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 13:53
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 13:55
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 13:58
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 14:01
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 14:03
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 14:06
  out. Thank you.
• 14:07
  I will see you in the next video.
• 14:08
  Peace.