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034 - Book Five Chapter Three · Brothers Karamazov

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Speaker 1: Chapter thirty four of the Brothers Karamatzov, translated by Constance Garnet.
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Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by
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Speaker 1: Tony Addison. Chapter three, The Brothers Make Friends Iven was not, however,
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Speaker 1: in a separate room, but only in a place shut
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Speaker 1: off by a screen so that it was unseen by
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Speaker 1: other people in the room. It was the first room
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Speaker 1: from the entrance, with a buffet along the wall. Waiters
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Speaker 1: were continually darting to and fro in it. The only
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Speaker 1: customer in the room was an old retired military man
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Speaker 1: drinking tea in a corner. But there was the usual
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Speaker 1: bustle going on in the other rooms of the tavern.
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Speaker 1: There were shouts for the waiters, the sound of popping corks,
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Speaker 1: the clicker billiard bowls, the drone of the organ. Alyosha
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Speaker 1: knew that Ivan did not usually visit this tavern and
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Speaker 1: dislike turbans in general, So we must have come here,
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Speaker 1: he reflected, simply to meet Dmitri by arrangement. Yet to
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Speaker 1: Dmitri or was not there shall I order you fish,
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Speaker 1: soup or anything? You don't live on tea alone, I suppose,
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Speaker 1: cried Ivan. Apparently delighted at having got hold of Alyosha.
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Speaker 1: He had finished dinner and was drinking tea. Let me
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Speaker 1: have soup and tea afterwards. I am hungry, said Alyosha.
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Speaker 1: Gaily and cherry jam. They have it here. You remember
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Speaker 1: how you used to love cherry jam when you were little.
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Speaker 1: You remember that? Or let me have jam two. I
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Speaker 1: like it still. Yvan rang for the waiter and ordered soup,
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Speaker 1: jam and tea. I remember everything, Alyosha. I remember you
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Speaker 1: tell you what eleven I was nearly fifteen. There's such
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Speaker 1: a difference between fifteen and eleven that brothers are never
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Speaker 1: companions at those ages. I don't know whether I was
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Speaker 1: fond of you even when I went to work to Moscow.
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Speaker 1: For the first few years, I never thought of you
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Speaker 1: at all. Then when you came to Moscow yourself, we
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Speaker 1: only met once somewhere, I believe. And now I've been
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Speaker 1: here more than three months, and so far we have
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Speaker 1: scarcely said a word to each other. Tomorrow I am
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Speaker 1: going away, and I was just thinking, as I said,
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Speaker 1: how I could see you to say goodbye, and just
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Speaker 1: then you pass. Were you very anxious to see me? Then?
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Speaker 1: Very I want to get to know you at once
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Speaker 1: for all, and I want you to know me and
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Speaker 1: then to say goodbye. I believe it's always best to
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Speaker 1: get to know people just before leaving them. I've noticed
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Speaker 1: how you've been looking at me these three months. There
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Speaker 1: has been a continual look of expectation in your eyes,
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Speaker 1: and I can't endure that. That's how it is. I've
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Speaker 1: kept away from you, but in the end I have
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Speaker 1: learned to respect you. The little man stands furn I thought.
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Speaker 1: Though I am laughing, I am serious. You do stand firm,
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Speaker 1: don't you. I like people who are firm like that,
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Speaker 1: whatever it is they stand by, even if they are
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Speaker 1: such little fellows as you. Your expectant eyes ceased to
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Speaker 1: annoy me. I grew fond of them. In the end,
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Speaker 1: those expectant eyes. You seem to love me for some reason, Alyosha,
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Speaker 1: I do love you, Ivan, Dmitri says of you, Ivan
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Speaker 1: is a tomb I say of you, Ivan is a riddle.
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Speaker 1: You are a riddle to me even now. But I
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Speaker 1: understand something in you, and I did not understand it
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Speaker 1: till this morning. What's that, loved, Ivan, You won't be angry.
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Speaker 1: Alyosha laughed too. Wow that you were just as young
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Speaker 1: as other young men of three and twenty, that you
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Speaker 1: are just a young and fresh and nice boy green
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Speaker 1: in fag. Now have I insulted you? Dreadfully? On the contrary,
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Speaker 1: I am struck by a coincidence, criedy Van warmly and
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Speaker 1: good humoredly. Would you believe it that ever since that
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Speaker 1: scene with her, I have thought of nothing else but
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Speaker 1: my youthful greenness. And just as though you guessed that
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Speaker 1: you begin about it, do you know I've been sitting
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Speaker 1: here thinking to myself that if I didn't believe in life,
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Speaker 1: if I lost faith in the woman I love, lost
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Speaker 1: faith in the order of things, were convinced in fact
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Speaker 1: that everything is a disorderly, damnable and perhaps devil ridden chaos.
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Speaker 1: If I were struck by every horror of man's disillusionment,
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Speaker 1: still I should want to live. And having once tasted
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Speaker 1: of the cub, I would not turn away from it
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Speaker 1: till I had drained it. At thirty, though, I shall
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Speaker 1: be sure to leave the cup even if I've not
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Speaker 1: emptied it, and turn away where I don't know, But
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Speaker 1: till I am thirty, I know that my youth will
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Speaker 1: triumph over everything, every disillusionment, every disgusted with life. I've
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Speaker 1: asked myself many times whether there is in the world
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Speaker 1: any despair that would overcome this frantic and perhaps unseemly
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Speaker 1: thirst for life in me. And I've come to the
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Speaker 1: conclusion that there isn't. That is till I am thirty,
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Speaker 1: and then I shall lose it of myself. I fancied
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Speaker 1: some driveling consumptive moralists and poets especially often call that
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Speaker 1: thirst for life base. It's a feature of the carametselfs.
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Speaker 1: It's true that thirst for life, regardless of everything you
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Speaker 1: have it no doubt too. But why as it bays
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Speaker 1: the sentry people force on our planet is still fearfully strong. Alyosha,
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Speaker 1: I have a longing for life, and I go on
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Speaker 1: living in spite of logic. Though I may not believe
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Speaker 1: in the order of the universe. Yet I love the
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Speaker 1: sticky little leaves as they open in spring. I love
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Speaker 1: the blue sky. I love some people whom one loves,
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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes without knowing why. I love some great
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Speaker 1: deeds dumb by men, though I've long ceased, perhaps to
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Speaker 1: have faith in them. Yet from old habit one's heart
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Speaker 1: prizes them. Here they have brought the soup for you
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Speaker 1: eat it, it will do you good. It's first rate soup.
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Speaker 1: They know how to make it. Here. I want to
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Speaker 1: travel in Europe, Alyosha, I shall set up from here,
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Speaker 1: And yet I know that I am only going to
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Speaker 1: a graveyard. But it's a most precious graveyard, That's what
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Speaker 1: it is. Precious are the dead that lie the ever
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Speaker 1: a stone over them speaks of such burning life in
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Speaker 1: the past, have such passionate faith in their work, their truth,
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Speaker 1: their struggle, and their science, that I know I shall
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Speaker 1: fall on the ground and kiss those stones and weep
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Speaker 1: over them, though I'm convinced in my heart that it's
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Speaker 1: long been nothing but a graveyard. And I shall not
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Speaker 1: weep from despair. Are but simply because I shall be
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Speaker 1: happy in my tears, I shall stoop my soul in
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Speaker 1: my emotion. I love the sticky leaves in spring, the
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Speaker 1: blue sky. That's all it is. It's not a matter
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Speaker 1: of intellect or logic. It's loving with one's inside, with
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Speaker 1: one's stomach. One loves the first strength of one's youth.
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Speaker 1: Do you understand anything of my tirade? Alyosha, Ivan laughed. Suddenly,
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Speaker 1: I understand too well, Ivan. One longs to love with
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Speaker 1: one's inside, with one's stomach. You said that so well,
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Speaker 1: and I am awfully glad that you have such a
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Speaker 1: longing for life, cried Alyosha. I think everyone should love
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Speaker 1: life above everything in the world. Love life more than
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Speaker 1: the meaning of it. Certainly, love it regardless of logic,
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Speaker 1: as you say, it must be regardless of logic, and
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Speaker 1: it's only then one will understand the meaning of it.
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Speaker 1: I have thought so a long time. Half your work
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Speaker 1: is done, Ivan, you love life. Now you've only to
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Speaker 1: try to do the second half, and you are saved.
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Speaker 1: You are trying to save me. But perhaps I am
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Speaker 1: not lost. And what does your second half mean? Why
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Speaker 1: one has to raise up your dead who perhaps have
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Speaker 1: not died after all? Oh, come, let me have tea.
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Speaker 1: I am so glad of our talk, Ivan, I see
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Speaker 1: you are feeling inspired. I am awfully fond of such professions.
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Speaker 1: De foi from such novices. You are a studfast person. Alexei.
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Speaker 1: Is it true that you mean to leave the monastery? Yes,
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Speaker 1: my older sends me out into the world. We shall
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Speaker 1: see each other then in the world we shall meet.
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Speaker 1: Before I am thirty, when I shall begin to turn
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Speaker 1: aside from the cup Father doesn't want to turn aside
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Speaker 1: from his cup till he is seventy, dreams of hanging
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Speaker 1: on to eighty. In fact, so he says, He means
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Speaker 1: it only too seriously. Though he is a buffoon. He
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Speaker 1: stands on a firm rock. Too. He stands on his sensuality.
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Speaker 1: Though after we are thirty, indeed, there may be nothing
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Speaker 1: else to stand on. But to hang gone to seventy
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Speaker 1: is nasty. Better only to thirty. One might retain a
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Speaker 1: shadow of nobility by deceiving one's self. Have you seen
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Speaker 1: Dmitri the dead? And no? But I saw Smadayakov and
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Speaker 1: Alyosha rapidly, though minutely, described his meeting with Smadayakov. Ivan
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Speaker 1: began listening anxiously and questioned him. But he begged me
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Speaker 1: not to tell Dmitri that he had told me abouten,
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Speaker 1: added Alyosha. Ivan frowned and pondered, are you frowning on
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Speaker 1: smadayakon hepsacant, asked Alyosha, Yes, on his account, damn him.
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Speaker 1: I certainly did want to see Dmitri, but now there's
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Speaker 1: no need, said Ivan reluctantly. But are you really going
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Speaker 1: so soon? Brother? Yes? What of Dmitri and father? How
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Speaker 1: will it end, asked Alyosha anxiously, you are always harping
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Speaker 1: upon it. What have I to do with it? I'm
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Speaker 1: my brother, Dmitri's keeper. Ivan snapped irritably, but then he
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Speaker 1: suddenly smiled bitterly. Kine's answer about his murdered brother, wasn't it?
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Speaker 1: Perhaps that's what you're thinking of this moment? Well, damn
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Speaker 1: it all. I can't stay here to be their keeper,
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Speaker 1: can I? I finished what I had to do, and
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Speaker 1: I am going. Do you imagine I am jealous of
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Speaker 1: Dmitri that I've been trying to steal his beautiful Katerina
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Speaker 1: Ivanovna for the last three months? Nonsense? I had business
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Speaker 1: of my own. I finished it. I am going. I
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Speaker 1: finished it just now. You were witness at Katerina Ivanovna's Yes,
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Speaker 1: and I've released myself once for all, and after all,
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Speaker 1: what have I to do with Dmitri. Dmitri doesn't come in.
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Speaker 1: I had my own business to settle with Katerina Ivanovna.
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Speaker 1: You know, on the contrary, that Dmitri behaved as though
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Speaker 1: there was an understanding between us. I didn't ask him
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Speaker 1: to do it, but he solemnly handed her over to
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Speaker 1: me and gave us his blessing. It's all too funny, ah, Alyosha,
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Speaker 1: if you only knew how light my heart is now?
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Speaker 1: Would you believe it? I sat here eating my dinner
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Speaker 1: and was nearly ordering champagne to celebrate my first hour
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Speaker 1: of freedom. Trufh. It's been going on nearly six months,
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Speaker 1: and all at once I've thrown it off. I could
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Speaker 1: never have guessed, even yesterday, how easy it would be
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Speaker 1: to put an end to it if I wanted. You
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Speaker 1: are speaking of your love, ivan of my love, if
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Speaker 1: you like I fell in love with the young lady.
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Speaker 1: I worried myself over her, and she worried me. I
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Speaker 1: sat watching over her, and all at once it's collapsed.
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Speaker 1: I spoke this morning with inspiration, but I went away
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Speaker 1: and roared with laughter. Would you believe it? Yes, it's
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Speaker 1: the literal truth. You seem very merry about it now,
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Speaker 1: observed Alyosha looking into his face, which had suddenly grown brighter.
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Speaker 1: But how could I tell that I didn't care for
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Speaker 1: her a bit? It appears after all I didn't. And
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Speaker 1: yet how she attracted me, how attractive she was just
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Speaker 1: now when I made my speech, And do you know
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Speaker 1: she attracts me awfully even now. Yet how easy it
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Speaker 1: is to leave her? Do you think I am boasting? No?
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Speaker 1: Only perhaps it wasn't love. Aliah Shah loved Ivan. Don't
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Speaker 1: make reflections about love. It's unseemly for you. How you
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Speaker 1: rushed into the discussion this morning. I've forgotten to kiss
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Speaker 1: you for it. But how she tormented me? It certainly
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Speaker 1: was sitting by a laceration. Oh, she knew how I
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Speaker 1: loved her. She loved me and not Dmitri. Iv Anne
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Speaker 1: insisted gaily her feeling for Dmitri was simply a self laceration.
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Speaker 1: All I told her just now was perfectly true. But
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Speaker 1: the worst of it is it may take her fifteen
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Speaker 1: or twenty years to find out that she doesn't care
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Speaker 1: for Dmitri and love me, whom she tormends, And perhaps
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Speaker 1: she may never find it out at all, in spite
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Speaker 1: of her lesson to that. Well, it's better so I
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Speaker 1: can simply go away for good. By the way, how
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Speaker 1: is she now? What happened after I departed? Alyosha told
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Speaker 1: him she had been hysterical and that she was now
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Speaker 1: he heard, unconscious and delirious. Isn't Madame Hohlakov laying it
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Speaker 1: on I think not. I must find out. Nobody dies
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Speaker 1: of hysterics, though they don't matter. God gave women hysterics
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Speaker 1: as a relief. I won't go to her at all.
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Speaker 1: Why but myself bothered again? But you told her that
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Speaker 1: she had never cared for you. I did that on purpose, Alyosha,
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Speaker 1: Shall I call for some champagne? Let us drink to
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Speaker 1: my freedom. Ah, if only you knew how glad I am. No, brother,
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Speaker 1: we had better not drink, said Alyosha suddenly. Besides, I
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Speaker 1: feel somehow depressed. Yes, you've been depressed a long time.
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Speaker 1: I've noticed it. Have you settled to go to morrow? Morning? Then? Morning?
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Speaker 1: I didn't say I should go in the morning. Perhaps
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Speaker 1: it may be in the morning. Would you believe it?
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Speaker 1: I dined it the day only to avoid dining with
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Speaker 1: the old man. I loathed him, So I should have
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Speaker 1: loved long ago supper as he is concerned. But why
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Speaker 1: are you so worried about my going away? We've plenty
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Speaker 1: you've turned before I go an eternity? If you are
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Speaker 1: going away to morrow? What do you mean by an eternity?
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Speaker 1: But what does it matter to us? Loved Ivan? We've
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Speaker 1: time enough for our talk. For what brought us here?
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Speaker 1: Why do you look so surprised? Answer? Why have we
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Speaker 1: met here to talk of my love for Katerina Ivanovna
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Speaker 1: of the old man and Dmitri a foreign travel, of
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Speaker 1: the fatal position of Russia of the Emperor Napoleon? Is
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Speaker 1: that it? Oh? Then you know what for it's different
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Speaker 1: for other people. But we in our green youth have
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Speaker 1: to settle the eternal questions first of all. That's what
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Speaker 1: we care about. Young Russia is talking about nothing but
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Speaker 1: the eternal questions. Now, just when the old folks are
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Speaker 1: all taken up with practical questions, why have you been
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Speaker 1: looking at me in expectation for the last three months
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Speaker 1: to ask me what do you believe? Or don't you
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Speaker 1: believe at all? That's what your eyes have been meaning
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Speaker 1: for these three months, haven't they? Perhaps so smiled? Alyosha,
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Speaker 1: you are not bumping at me now? We van me laughing.
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Speaker 1: I don't want to wound my little brother, who has
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Speaker 1: been watching me with such expectation for three months. Ali, Yosha,
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Speaker 1: look straight at me. Of course, I am just such
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Speaker 1: a little boy as you are only not a novice.
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Speaker 1: And what have Russian boys been doing up till now?
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Speaker 1: Some of them, I mean in this stinking tavern. For instance,
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Speaker 1: here they meet and sit down in a corner they've
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Speaker 1: never met in their lives before, and when they go
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Speaker 1: out of the tub, they won't meet again for forty years.
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Speaker 1: And what they talk about in that momentary halt in
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Speaker 1: the tavern of the eternal questions, of the existence of
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Speaker 1: God and immortality, and those who do not believe in
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Speaker 1: God talk of socialism or anarchism, of the transformation of
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Speaker 1: all humanity on a new pattern, so that it all
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Speaker 1: comes to the same. They're the same questions turned inside out,
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Speaker 1: and masses, masses of the most original Russian boys do
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Speaker 1: nothing but talk of the eternal questions, isn't it so? Yes,
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Speaker 1: for real Russians, the questions of God's existence and of immortality,
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Speaker 1: or as you say, the same questions turned inside out,
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Speaker 1: come first and foremost, of course, And so they should,
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Speaker 1: said Alyosha, still watching his brother with the same gentle
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Speaker 1: and inquiring smile. Well, Alyosha, it's sometimes very unwise to
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Speaker 1: be a Russian at all. But anything stupider than the
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Speaker 1: way Russian boys spend their time one can hardly imagine.
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Speaker 1: But there's one Russian boy called al Yoisha. I am
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Speaker 1: awfully fond of how nicely you put that in Alyosha,
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Speaker 1: love suddenly, Well, tell me where to begin give your
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Speaker 1: orders the existence of God, eh, begin where you like.
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Speaker 1: You declared yesterday at brothers that there was no God.
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Speaker 1: Alyosha looked searchingly at his brother. I said that yesterday
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Speaker 1: at dinner on purpose to tease you, and I saw
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Speaker 1: your eyes glow. But now I've no objection to discussing
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Speaker 1: with you, and I say so very seriously. I want
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Speaker 1: to be friends with you, Alyosha, for I have no
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Speaker 1: friends and want to try it. Well. Only fancy perhaps
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Speaker 1: I do accept God loved van. That's a surprise for you,
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Speaker 1: isn't it. Yes, of course, if you are not joking
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Speaker 1: now joking. I was told at the elders yesterday that
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Speaker 1: I was joking. You know, dear boy, there was an
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Speaker 1: old sinner in the eighteenth century who declared that if
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Speaker 1: there were no God, he would have to be invented
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Speaker 1: Ecil and exist de pardieu, I, lady alone, and man
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Speaker 1: has actually invented God. And what's strange, what would be marvelers,
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Speaker 1: is not that God should really exist. The marvel is
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Speaker 1: that such an idea the idea of the necessity of
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Speaker 1: God could enter the head of such a savage, vicious
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Speaker 1: beast as man, so holy, it is so touching, so wise,
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Speaker 1: and so great accredit it does to man. As for me,
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Speaker 1: I've long resolved not to think whether man created God
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Speaker 1: or God man, and I won't go through all the
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Speaker 1: axioms laid down by Russian boys on that subject, all
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Speaker 1: derived from European hypotheses. For what's hypothesis, there is an
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Speaker 1: axiom with the Russian boy, and not only with the boys,
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Speaker 1: but with their teachers too, For our Russian professors are
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Speaker 1: often just the same boys themselves, And so I omit
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Speaker 1: all the hypotheses. For what are we aiming at? Now?
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Speaker 1: I am trying to explain as quickly as possible my
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Speaker 1: essential nature, that is, what manner of man, I am,
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Speaker 1: what I believe in, and for what I hope. That's it,
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Speaker 1: isn't it? And therefore I tell you that I accept
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Speaker 1: God simply. But you must note this. If God exists,
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Speaker 1: and if he really did create the world, then as
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Speaker 1: we all know, he created it according to the geometry
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Speaker 1: of Euclid and the human mind with the conception of
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Speaker 1: only three dimensions in space. Yet there have been, and
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Speaker 1: still are geometricians and philosophers, and even some of the
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Speaker 1: most distinguished, who doubt whether the whole universe ought, to
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Speaker 1: speak more widely, the whole of being was only created
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Speaker 1: in Euclid's geometry. They even dared to dream that two
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Speaker 1: parallel lines, which according to Euclid, can never meet on Earth,
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Speaker 1: may meet somewhere in infinity. I have come to the
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Speaker 1: conclusion that since I can't understand even that I can't
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Speaker 1: expect to understand about God, I acknowledge humbly that I
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Speaker 1: have no faculty or settlings such questions. I have a
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Speaker 1: Euclidean earthly mind, and how could I solve problems that
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Speaker 1: are not of this world? And I advise you never
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Speaker 1: to think about it either, my dear Alyosha, especially about God,
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Speaker 1: whether he exists or not. All such questions are utterly
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Speaker 1: inappropriate for a mind created with an idea of only
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Speaker 1: three dimensions. And so I accept God, and I am
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Speaker 1: glad to And what's more, I accept his wisdom, his purpose,
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Speaker 1: which are utterly beyond I ken. I believe in the
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Speaker 1: underlying order and the meaning of life. I believe in
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Speaker 1: the eternal harmony in which they say we shall one
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Speaker 1: day be blended. I believe in the word to which
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Speaker 1: the universe is striving, and which itself was with God,
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Speaker 1: and which itself ease God, and so on and so
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Speaker 1: on to infinity. There are all sorts of praises for it.
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Speaker 1: I seem to be on the right path, don't I
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Speaker 1: would you believe it? In the final result, I don't
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Speaker 1: accept this world of gods, And although I know it exists,
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Speaker 1: I don't accept it at all. It's not that I
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Speaker 1: don't accept God. You must understand. It's the world created
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Speaker 1: by Him I don't and cannot accept. Let me make
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Speaker 1: it plain. I believe like a child that suffering will
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Speaker 1: be healed and made up for that all the humiliating
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Speaker 1: absurdity of human contradictions will punish like a pitiful mirage,
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Speaker 1: like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small
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Speaker 1: euclidian mind of man. That in the world spinale, at
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Speaker 1: the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come
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Speaker 1: to pass, that it will advice for all hearts, for
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Speaker 1: the comforting of all resentments, for the atonement of all
27:06
Speaker 1: the crimes of humanity, of all the blood they've shed,
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Speaker 1: that it will make it not only possible to forgive,
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Speaker 1: but to justify all that has happened with men. But
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Speaker 1: though all that may come to pass, I don't accept that.
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Speaker 1: I won't accept it. Even if parallel lines do mate
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Speaker 1: and I see it myself, I shall see it and
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Speaker 1: say that they've met. But still I won't accept it.
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Speaker 1: That's what's at the root of me, Alyosha, that's my creed.
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Speaker 1: I am in earnest in what I say. I began
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Speaker 1: I talk as stupidly as I could on purpose, but
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Speaker 1: I've led up to my confession. For that's all you want.
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Speaker 1: You didn't want to hear about God, but only to
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Speaker 1: know what the brother you love lives by. And so
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Speaker 1: I've told you. Ivanne concluded his long terrade with marked
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Speaker 1: and unexpected feeling. And why did you begin as stupidly
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Speaker 1: as you could, asked Alyosha, looking dreamily at him, to
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Speaker 1: begin with, for the sake of being Russian. Russian conversations
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Speaker 1: on such subjects are always carried on inconceivably stupidly. And secondly,
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Speaker 1: the stupider one is the closer one is to reality.
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Speaker 1: The stupider one is the clearer one is. Stupidity is
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Speaker 1: brief and artless, while intelligence wriggles and hides itself. Intelligence
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Speaker 1: is a knave, but stupidity is honest and straightforward. I've
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Speaker 1: led the conversation to my despair, and the more stupidly
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Speaker 1: I have presented it, the better for me. You will
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Speaker 1: explain why you don't accept the world, said Alyosha. To
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Speaker 1: be sure, I will. It's not a secret. That's what
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Speaker 1: I've been leading up to, dear little brother. I don't
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Speaker 1: want to corrupt you, ort to turn you from your stronghold.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps I want to be healed by you. Ivanne smiled suddenly,
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Speaker 1: quite like a little gentle child. Alyosha had never seen
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Speaker 1: such a smile on his face before, and of chapter
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Speaker 1: thirty four,