Latest / How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva / Kim Fields on Defying the Narrative, Purpose and Preventative Maintenance

Transcript

Kim Fields on Defying the Narrative, Purpose and Preventative Maintenance · How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Giving permission, hitting your stride and Boys to Men. That's
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: what I'm talking about with today's guest, who had me
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: thinking of the gen X woman's journey of being a
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: hard working woman. She's been working since she was seven
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: years old and shows no signs of stopping and why
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: should she? Why should we? Which made me think of
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: all the women who have been working since we were
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: very young? Do we ever hit a stride? Or do
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: we continue to raise our own bar? All while asking
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: how hard can it be? Welcome to How hard can
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: it be? A podcast for gen X women navigating midlife's
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: most fantastic bullshit? I'm your Hostian Maria Riva, and I
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: because she's feeling me all righty already?
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I am so excited to have this icon, this inspiration,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: this talented actress, producer, director, mother, fierce woman, entrepreneur. You
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: know are in lover the memorable tud Different Strokes, Facts
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: of Life, Living Single, and so many of our favorite
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Christmas movies. And you can currently see her and have
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: been seeing her on the Netflix hit series The Upshaws
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: in its fifth and final season. And let's not forget
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: two Boys to Men music videos Welcome Please Kill.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Me thank you so much, thank you. You know what's
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: so funny about that particular credit number one. It's a
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: career highlight for me. Actually I get it. But yesterday
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I was having lunch with my aunt and we were
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: in the car driving from lunch and we were listening
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: to the radio and on Bendedney comes on, and I go,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I'm in this music.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You're immortalized because we all know that we could be
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: married for thirty years and that song is still like,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: oh baby, let's do this still, let's keep doing this.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: It rings true today.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: It's hilarious. I just love them.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Were they great to work with?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Yes, And they're just the greatest people.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Where there is room tickets. They came off for kind
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: of suave.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: And well so, I mean we're friends, so no like Grouse.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, crush on all of them. They have They were
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: they were they were anthems, Their songs were anthems. I'm
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: so excited to have you here. I can't believe in
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: all our years in the industry we haven't met even
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: that we have people.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: In common common absolutely on our team. I'm such a
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: fan of yours, girl, Oh my god.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, somebody once told me that. One of
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: our team members told me that, and I got choked
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: up because how do I have known when I was
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: a young girl watching you be a young girl on
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: TV and thinking, I think I want to do this,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I want to perform, I want to act, knowing that
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I'd be sitting here with you years later talking to you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: You agreed to come and talk to me on the
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: show and about this chapter of life and everything. That's
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: such a full circle. This is these are little I'm starstruck,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I'm starry and by the way, I don't know what's
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: going on here except that it's just ageless and timeless beauty.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Oh a pot call on the kettle black. But thank you.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I'm trying. So I was saying, I was putting together
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: my little wardrobe because someday I'll have a stylist and
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: it would be so music magic. And I've always said
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: my legs are my best asset. I don't know how
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: you are with your body. My legs are my best asset.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It's one thing I've got. But then I was looking
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I haven't worked down in a minute, and I was
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: looking at them and they are on a mud slide.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't believe that. And you know I got
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: a thigh so no, no, no, no perspective because you're
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: seeing it either looking down or looking at a mirror.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm gonna go with I don't think so.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: You're right, I was looking down that light up top
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: is never good.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: No, not at all. And sometimes you just got to
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: give gravity a memo. No, bitch, you are not taking
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: my body parts.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I love that gravity a memo. That's right, bitch. Don't
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: go nowhere.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: No, you ain't having this, this, and this. Yes, you
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: can keep me grounded in the universe, but you can't
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: have and then you just run that list down of
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: what gravity is not allowed to take.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I'd love to know when you came to that piece
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: of clarity, because my first icebreaker question is what was
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: your oh shit, is this midlife moment? But I also
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: want to know, like, when did you have that piece
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: of clarity? I don't know.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I honestly don't know. I think it was not so
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: much looking at me, I hate to say it like this,
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: but looking at others, I was like, oh, exactly, there's
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: a lot to glean from the what not to do world,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: and so I think it was just it's not so
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: much a midlife thing as much as when I really
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: gave myself permission to blo you know, and that that
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: fill in the blank moment of permission to breathe, that
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: permission to lean into getting back to being comfortable in
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: my skin. But I had to figure out what that
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: really meant. And so it wasn't a cliche. And at
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: the time, you know, there's so many narratives that can
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: run around, not only in your brain, but but what
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: you're putting into your brain, and so things like when
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: you hit certain numbers, you know, age wise, it's supposed
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to look like this, supposed to be like that. And
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I just was like, nah, I'm not doing all that.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: When I'm when I'm feeling this, that's when I'm feeling this.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: And what I'm what I mean by that is when
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling me, when I'm feeling myself like hell yeah,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: and and sometimes it's it was it was later in
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: terms of even when I was playing Regime because that
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: that to meat, Yes, that was one of the greatest
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: acting jobs for me because that was nothing.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Like her oh interesting.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: So I wasn't feeling myself playing Regime, not at all.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: So it was actually long after that, you know that,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: I but I can't really pinpoint an age or or
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: a win or a season or anything like that. It
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: was just kind of a It was more of an evolution,
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: and I'm still evolving.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's that is that's the permission that we all
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: need to give ourselves that this is a continuous learning experiencing.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: You know, I have this situation that I have to
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: reevaluate this mindset every year on my birthday because Jennifer
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Lopez her birthday is two days after mine. So every
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: time she hits a mile marker, the whole fucking media
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: starts talking about Jenva Lopes is turning thirty. Look at
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: her body, I'm I know, Look at genre lope is
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: turning forty. Look at her audy. I'm like, I know,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I know. I'm trying. I'm trying. Jennifer Love is his fit,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: you know what. Shut the fuck up. She looks great,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: she's fifty, and I'm trying it. So we're two days apart,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: and then I would do this kind of compare and contrast,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: and then I would have to tell myself that's her journey.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: God bless her. She's beautiful. I have my own things,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: but isn't it, you know? And don't you feel that
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: your youth plays into how long it takes you to
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: get to that. I had body and issues as a child.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: So here you are a as a young person working
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: and there's life balance. You have to work figure out
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: life work balance. But you're already challenged by that about
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: this mindset early on, because you're in a business that
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: watches and looks and judges and perceives.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I think I come from a perspective of preemptive measures.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: O smart.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: So even with the previous question about well when did
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: you kind of have that hey gravity, you can't. And
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: for me, I'm always preventive maintenance, like let me, let
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: me get ahead of this, let me I don't ever
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: want to get got ahead, you know, exactly, always being
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: a step ahead, and so right exactly, well I'm not
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: quite there yet, but but on the other stuff, sure,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: And so the idea of being having that preventative maintenance
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: in terms of comparison, that's something that I've had to like.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: There was.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I cannot believe out loud in public. There was a
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: good stretch of my adult life when I felt like
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: I was Burr and the world was Hamilton Wow, right,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: isn't that that's that's yeah, it's total total epiphany. So
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I just felt like I was either at behind, I
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: was running late to showing up, not like literally, but
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: like I was like I was Burr and everybody else
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: was Hamilton, the world was Hamilton, everybody loved the world,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: and I was like, not the problem. And you know, perspective,
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I didn't see Burr as the problem, but I just
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: felt like he was in his own head so much
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: the way he's portrayed in Hamilton, that that you you
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: you get in your own way when you're in your
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: head so much. And so for me, I had to
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: really work at getting out of my head and not
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: looking at everybody else's wins, them being picked, them being seen,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: because watch this, being seen is not the same fucking
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: thing as being picked. Amen, it's not. It is not
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: so being picked, being seen being authentic. But but it
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: really was just this thing of hey, you're not that,
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: you're not that. You are on your path, on your
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: time zone, your timeline, your journey, what's for you is
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: for you. And I had to do a massive shift
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: in my own atmosphere because it was really fucking me up,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: and who needs a mind fuck nowadays, I sure don't.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I can barely sleep at night. So yeah, this is
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: the last thing I need right exactly exactly. But that's
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: a big revelation. Especially we did not grow up with
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: social media. Obviously, we didn't grow up with the comparing contrast.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: And I'm not so sure in all seriousness, how I
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: would have fared if I had the compare the daily unstoppable,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: no break comparing contrast that the young people are going through,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: or even not even young people, women of all ages,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: like it's happening. I see some of my friends fall
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: into the trap. I see myself thinking like I need
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: to post and do something in a bathing suit on
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: the fourth of July. No, I don't. If I don't
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: want to, I don't need to wherever it is. And
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: it's amazing how we hold our feet over the fire
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: or society's fire, which one both? Yeah, both either way.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: It's hot as fun.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Get off of it, absolutely, take your feet off of it.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: No, not at all.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Did you have work life balance when you were young
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: and you had that schedule.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that that was a thing.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, did you go to slumber parties?
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Did you go to I did I did. I had.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: I felt like I have and I still do. I
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: feel like I had a very normal quote unquote childhood,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: even though I was working, but again preventative maintenance. I
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: knew early on I wasn't going to be a statistic.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: I was not going to fall into the traps of
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: quote unquote child's stardom, of that awkward Okay, I'm an adult,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: but I'm not working, so now I'm in a severe depression.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: And I mean, there was so much that I was
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: able to look at even though there's no blueprint for
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: my life and my career. There's not been a me before.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: And I don't mean that in the ethereal Instagram post
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: kind of thing. I mean that literally, there's nobody that
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: has been in my shoes. There's no career that I
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: can look at. There are people that have had similarities,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: but there's no blueprint for me to follow. And I've
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: been told, well, bitch, you're the blueprint. You're not just
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: just on me. You're not in a league of your own, bitch,
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: you are the league.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: And it's like yeah and so and so that sense
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: of not having quote unquote a I was inspired, sure,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: but but you know, it's like stuff that I didn't know.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I couldn't do this. I didn't know I wasn't supposed
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: to go to regular school in the morning and then
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: come to the studio in the afternoon, because I had
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: spent years in studio school. But I thought, well, Nancy's graduated,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to be in here by myself. I
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: want to go to the high school.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: You were quite astute as a young person. You really
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: had just it seemed to have a really grounded vision,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: vision and wherewithal an awareness that you're an old soul.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes, I do feel that, and I felt
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: that even early on. But honestly it came from a
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: place of I'm not going out like that, meaning my
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: village has put way too much into me for me
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: to be a statistic or tragic or trauma or any
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: of those things. It's like, now, let's let's see what else.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: But what are the other doors that we can open?
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Oh directing, Oh this one, Oh I can do this.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: So so it was it was it was again that
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: that preventative thing of oh, I'm not going to look
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: up after Facts of Life or after Baby I'm Back,
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: or after this TV movie, after that and and and
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: be a has been amazing.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: That is you know I got I have to say,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I teared up, got some goosebumps when you said, oh,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to put my village through this. The
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: fact that you didn't just care. It wasn't just preventive
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: measures for self. Yeah, you cared about the people around you.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Listen, I'm chips, kid shit, I wouldn't have botlet my mama.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I've said that before. I behave like how some of
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: these stars out here, they were be a chan cla
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: coming in from the Dominican Republic high like that. And
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like a chan clap, which is a chef flop. Yes,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: that is the universal symbol of girls.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: Listen, don't get gun say exactly.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And I have lived by that out here. I've been
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: here for thirty four years, thirty years in the industry,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like, oh no, I'm not gonna that's
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: what myself. My mother will find a way. Listen, find
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: a way.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Yep, yep, absolutely absolutely.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: That causes longevity and for the soul. Yeah, and I
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: feel that doesn't that feed it feeds the adult woman
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: that you are now you have this. Here's what I
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: feel you have been working for so long, And there
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: are a lot of women who have been working for
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: so long, but definitely maybe not as young as you.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: But let's say my first job was when I was sixteen.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: I went and worked in a movie theater. I'm still hustling.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: You're still hustling, right, girl, A lot. And this is
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: what I say about women at this chapter. Society likes
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: to say one thing or the other, wrap it up,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: bodies going down whatever. I'm like, bitch, who else is
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: this busy? We have children at home or in college
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: that we're supporting, and we have our aging We have
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: our aging parents that we're taking care of or looking
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: after whatever. We're not retiring yet at this moment. We're
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: not there yet. We have more on our plate than
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: any other demographics. So my question to you is, with
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: all of this, I feel women as women, do we
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: hit a stride or do we keep using our own bar?
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Oh shit, I mind need more coffee for that.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Fuck, this is what I wanted. What have you brought
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: at this point in your life? What have you I
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: know what you've introduced, directing and other things, But was
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: it because you want to do something new or you
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: felt society was asking you to do something new.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Well, I never give a good goddamn about society, And
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know when that mindset came into play. I
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: didn't have a I'm that now I'm that person where
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: I don't care. No, I think my focus. I shouldn't
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: say I don't care. It's just that's not the top
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: of the list. Again, the top of the food chain
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: for me has always been not being a statistic, not
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: being typical, and having a typical narrative. Love that. So
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: for me, it's never been about society. So even when
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: you asked me about like the work life balance or
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: are we you know, raising the bar on ourselves and
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: all of these different things. First and foremost, I just
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I do what I enjoyed doing and it shows I
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: thank you. But I do what I enjoyed doing. And
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: technology has provided all these different tools and out So
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: now I'm not going to wait on a green light.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to wait for a pitch or a
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: pitch meeting or this as around. I have a show
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: on on YouTube or Instagram before the sun goes down. Yes,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I mean it's because I love what I do and
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: not just as a storyteller. Or a content provider or whatever.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: But even in the other areas. As an entrepreneur, this
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: that so that to me is the driving force. So
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: I really don't. I don't frame it up in the
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: ways about society and what they may say, or or.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Being the permissions society.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely not. I just I just go. I
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: just do because again, a lot of it is I
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: didn't know I couldn't.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: That's that's the thing. Do you say you have to
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: give yourself permission? And I love that you say that
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: because I think women need to continue to reminding themselves
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: that they have to give themselves permission. But giving yourself
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: permission opened the door to I'm going to try this.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Oh there's directly. You have a lifestyle brand. Yeah, tell
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: me about this. Because I heard about this European river cruise.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I saw the Fo'm like, oh, she's on vacation. I'm like,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, I could have gone.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I say, you're good, you're good, have yes? So so yes,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: giving myself permission sometimes it's not only permission to dream,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: but permission to actually go after it. Do the steps
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: because there is a process. I have a friend where
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I was talking about trust the process and so you know,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: after the permission comes, then well, now do the work.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Do the work. And so for me, the lifestyle brand
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: refreshed by KF just came because I wasn't finding anything
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: that resonated with me in the wellness space and for
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: my own well being, my mental, my physical, my emotional health.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: And so I just again I didn't know that I could.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I didn't know I couldn't have a conversation and put
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: it on Instagram and then millions of people they're like,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this this is for me. Yeah. Absolutely,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: and so it really bloomed from that being a retreat
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: brand as well, a wellness retreat brand that's for men
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and women, because I was getting so frustrated that men
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: were not being included in the wellness conversations and their
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: well being needs to be just as important as ours.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Have you had a good response from yes, that's.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: All my sickness. Yes, absolutely, yeah, both in person at
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: our retreats, our engagement on social media and our website
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: and things. So it's been. It's been so that to
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: me is a part of my legacy just as much
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: as the characters that I portray.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Oh that is beautiful and it's it's I feel it's
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: also being of service. You did this from a place
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: of your heart from me, yes, yeah, and it was
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: to to open that space for other humans. And that's
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: a gift that's going.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: To keep on going. Thank you, Yeah, thank you.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: This is the fifth and final season of the shows.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Has it been has it dictated to you what you
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: want to do next or what you want to add?
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: But you want to give yourself permission?
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I see what you did There's it definitely has been
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: a very strong part of the chapters. You know, it's
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: it's a strong chapter in and of itself. For me,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: it informs what I want to do next in terms
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: of the genres that i'd like to, you know, do
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: more of. So that was a comedy, but we had
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: a lot of dramatic moments, and so I definitely want
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: to get back to doing more dramatic work. I certainly
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: would love to do more, not more, but to do
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: sci fi and fantasy.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Do you have a dream? Wrong? I just want to ask,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: if you were to go to a studio today and
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: say this is I'll tell you mine, if you tell.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Me yours, will you go first at your show? Okay?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you? I've been read. I tell everybody, would you
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: like to I want to be on a horse with
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: the sword, preferably if not a horse or dragon, but
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I want to just be slaying some Yes, I'm a warrior. Yeah,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a warrior spirit and I would
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: love a period peace work. I'm on a horse with
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: the sword, cleaning up, taking care, saving the day. When
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: I saw Robin Wright and Wonder Woman, and I was like.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: This is listen. When I see Robin Wright, doth that
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: bitch is just amazing. She is spirit animal for me
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: and whatever else you.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Gonna call it.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I think it's more the the the genres,
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: the types of characters. You know, I've done action. I'd
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: love to do more action. Action. Fantasy is great. I'm
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: I'm right there with you. I might want an eyepatch,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: give me the detail dragon iPad. Yes, but you should
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: see the other bitch. Don't worry about why my eyes
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: my hole is covered. Worry about what happened to the
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: other person or persons. But that dark, edgy drama, that
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: that that warrior, that person or entity, that being, that's
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: another color with different you know, digits and things and
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: and you know, six hours in makeup and visual effects,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: all of that. Yeah, yeah, very much so, very much so.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing, honestly, with that side of it,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: for me, I'm I'm I'm very aware of the characters
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: that I've played and how it where it resonates for people,
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: the places it I mean deeply touches people. So there's
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: a part of me that knows I want to really
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: dis When I got into acting, it's because I loved
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: seeing the process of making characters and telling the stories.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: So for me, being other characters will take some additional
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I think work visually from the standpoint of I have
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: to lead the audience where I'm going, and so that
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: means some of this has to kind of disappear behind
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: the effects or the character or whatever it may be.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Just to really trick your mind a bit more that
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I'm an actor, I'm not a personality. And so with
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: that being said, you know, really becoming a chameleon. That's
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: so exciting to me as an actor.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Well you have that range. Thank you. If you were
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: to pick one character that fed you the best nugget
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: of wisdom for the woman that you are today, which character.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: That I've played, Yes, Oh hm, I've probably some of
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: the Regina Upshaw moments. There was a I think it
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: might have been season three or so, uh and and
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: people deemed it the monologue heard around the world, and
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: it was this this releasing the valve for her and
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: one of the lines. Because we all worked on that
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: the writer's room, Wanda myself, we all worked really hard
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: to get that monologue right, and there was there was
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: that moment of clarity that kind of clicked when she says,
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: and I'm paraphrasing because it's been a minute, because no
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: one's ever asked me that question, go ahead on this interviewer,
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: but but it was to the something like, how can
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: you expect others to see you when you don't see yourself?
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: And when we wrote that line, and I was a
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: part of writing that actual line and then performing it,
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: so I'm yeah, yeah.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: And I don't want my eyelashes to fall off. This
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: is that that is a real truth. And so what
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: do you give yourself that you could share with the
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: women watching this podcast or listening. What do you give
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: yourself by way of either physical or emotional, spiritual, whatever
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: that allows you to continue to see yourself.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: I had to give myself permission to rewind sometimes because
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: I'm always in forward motion. I'm always in what's the
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: next thing, What's next, what's next again, preventative maintenance, preventative medicine.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: At that point, always have some shit in the you know,
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: have some have some have some in the chamber so
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: that you're ready to go. And so the idea of
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: looking back, I just always felt like, no, don't look back,
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: because you that means you've retired, or that means there's
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: nothing that that's that you're doing currently. If you're looking back,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: that means you're not in forward motion, because you can't
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: do both. Fuck around the rent to a wall so literally,
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: And so I had to really learn the idea of
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: look back, See what you've been through, see what you've
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: come from, Look at the blessings, Look at how far
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: you have been brought. Not just how far you've come,
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: look how far you have been brought. Look at that work.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I almost never watch myself, I mean almost never watch myself,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: and looking at the work not with judgment, but appreciation.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: That's the key word.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so those are the things I think I've done.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: And when I still didn't get to the point that
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I wanted to make about work life balance. Yes, I
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: didn't know that that was the thing. And then when
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: I you know, I think maybe seven years ago or so,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I realized that, oh, it's not like a fifty to
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: fifty work fifty percent work fifty percent, not at all.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's ninety eight percent and then three percent. Can
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: feel that math at mathing, Yeah, no, shit, sure a lot,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: because that's how life works.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: That's just reality.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, And so I just felt like, oh, I
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: can be my best in this and a little bit
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: of me that here is still a strong moment, even
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: if it's not one hundred percent or one hundred and
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: ten here, one hundred and ten there, hundred you know,
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: and then you just have to know. But you got
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: to regulate yourself so that you don't burn out, so
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: that you're not doing too much and then you're out
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: of balance. Yes, because when you're out of balance, then
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: you've got to now add the work to get back
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: in balance.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: They say you can't catch up on lost sleep.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Oh who said that?
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Well, somebody said it the other day, and I'm like,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: oh shit, I tried. Yeah, that is that. My physical
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: comparison or analogy to what you just described was, if
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: you've ever had. Some people call it a god box,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: some people call it a universe box. Where you write
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: on paper, I need you to take care of this,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: and you put it on paper. This is bothering me.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: I need this result. Go back and look at it
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: in three six months. Oh wow, and put it up
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: in your closet forget about it. You go back and
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: you start going through it and you're like, oh, yeah, no,
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: that was that's not a big deal. Like I can't
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: believe I was so worried about that this didn't work
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: out because something worked out better, right, And it's just
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: a visual of looking back and rewind and saying, oh
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: my god, I so underwater and look I made it
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: ived still here.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: That is a great exercise. Thank you for that, because
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I do that, but I just say the shit out loud, Hey,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: what's happening?
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: So belligerent with your higher power? Because I am like,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: you need to figure this the fuck out. I've done
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: my part. Let's go same way. I love this conversation
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: so much, I'm gonna give myself more permission. See myself
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: go ahead and look back so I can see how
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: far I've come or what I've done better than expected. Yes,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: and now I want to ask you, do you have
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: a question to fill in the blank? I say, this
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: is my favorite little closer. Is it just me? Or
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: is anyone else? Blank? Go for it?
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I'm you know, I was going to say, you know,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: they always say go with your first mine? Right?
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Is it just me?
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Or is anyone else tired?
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: But here?
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: But it needs a little jishn okay, because I don't
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: mean like, oh, yes, we're all tired, Kim Fields, because
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: we're working so hard and we're women and we're this
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: and we're women of color and women. No, Here's what
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: I mean. Is anyone else? Is it just me? Or
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: is anyone else tired of the bullshit?
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm tired of it.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not too physically and it's a fucking Tuesday, same bullshit.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Still tired?
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, And hey, guys, I'm not you know, making
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: any sort of statements politically, socially, culturally. I just mean
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: just the bullshit.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: It's bullshit, it's and we can polish turds till the
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: prows come home. And it's one of my favorite sayings
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: is my grandmother used to say in Spanish, the more
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: you shit, the more it stinks. And sometimes we're gonna
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: both go away from this podcast with gifts, give you what.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and and and everybody, I think the details
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: of it. It's different for everybody.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, But do you give yourself permission to take a
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: break from the bullshit? Yes, that's good, that's safe.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if I don't patch for a reason, right exactly absolutely,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: But you.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Are not alone, and that and and and it's good
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: sometimes to bring up something as simple as that. A
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: lot of bullshit. You gotta find our permission and ways
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: to detach from it. This has been such a gift
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: to sit and get to know you a little bed
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: and for being so open and sharing this. I will
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: watch anything you are in, anything that you're and I
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: want to come on the next river.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, you're having to be on the next Well, now
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: we have retreats that aren't just river cruises, just so
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Is either one okay, any kinds I deserved? Yep, I'm coming,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I am coming. I just you looked so joyously happy
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: and glowing, and when you give of yourself in that way,
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: it just does something for this universe. We need more
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Kim Fields in this world. Thank you, I adore you.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being here.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you to Kim Field. How hard can it be?
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: With the anamade Arriva is a Hyphenit Media group production
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: in partnership with Iheart'smichaultura podcast Network. For more of your
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: favorite shows, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: you get your podcasts