Latest / Untraditionally Lala / BONUS: SURving More Tom Schwartz

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BONUS: SURving More Tom Schwartz · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, Gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala. Hey, Gorgeous,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Lala Kent. Welcome to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I have Tom Scholtz. Today. We're going to be talking
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: about iconic vander Pump moments. And there's a moment that
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: we talked about on the regular episode that has, to
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: my dismay, made its way back to the Internet. So
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not it's so mortifying you that I'm already now
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: now just doing what I did on the regular, where
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: you're like, you are you saying you can ask me anything?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, why the fuck did I do that?
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So good? You still got it?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I don't still got it? But that's okay, Okay, iconic lines?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Do I have to say? Who would guess who it is? No?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I mean I did not come up with these iconic
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: lines because I would never put so many under my own. Sure, Okay,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: what would you say? Is the most iconic line that
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I've said? Okay, are you trying to get popped? Bamby
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: eyed bitch all iconic?
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Man? Trying to get popped?
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: Is number one most iconic thing you've ever said? Are
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: you trying to get along. I still think about it,
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: and people quoted to me all the time. I'm in
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Swartz and Sandy's Rip Tom, Tom, I hear that line
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: all the time.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: You're trying to get popped, and.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Then Ariana, I don't want to get popped.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: The reaction was so funny because you were You said
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: it with conviction, You were dead serious.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I am from the eight to one. I know nothing
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: about that life, you guys, not even the slightest clue.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Who was I That baby eyed bitch was the most poignant,
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: most poignant thing I think you ever said in it,
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: because when I get angry, I just my mind goes blank.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: But I feel like you become like very articulate in
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: a venomous way, like yeah, you're good with your words
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: when you're upset.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Well, here's what happens, Tom, is people poke at me, yeah,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: and then they get the wrath that's so intense that
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I end up having to apologize profusely and I can't
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: take it back. So what I'm trying to do, or
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: what I've been trying to implement in the past couple
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: of years, a couple of months, whatever it may be,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: is like in a moment where you're feeling rage, take
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: a beat and pinpoint how you're feeling so that you
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: don't just speal.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: That's not fun.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, but you want to know what's
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: the worst is going home and beating yourself up over
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: it and not being able to sleep and having massive
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: amounts of anxiety.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: I still feel guilty for calling Shina a bootleg Kardashian.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Like I know, it was like seven years ago, and
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I like when I'm mean to peoples, it haunts me.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: You don't feel bad that you told me I was
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: a bootleg housewife and you and those lips, I almost
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: flipped a pizza in your lap.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I was, well, God, I literally forgot about that until
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: just now. Sorry, I don't want to I don't want
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: to blame all that. I gotta blame that one on
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the all cahol.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something short.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, that so mean.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: No, But when someone I live for a time where
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: you're just delivering it to me, so then I don't
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: feel guilty about coming back.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: You know, I both.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Mama, you were poking, however I did. I started it
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: because I said, instead of a drink being thrown on
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: you, you deserve to be punched in the face. Those are
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: fighting words.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: No, I was like, and I felt I don't know
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: why I was so triggered that day. Well, I had
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: a drink thrown on my face, but I was very upset,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: like I wanted to fight him. I'm not a fighter.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: And then I was like then and then I turned
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: into like comedy almost. I was like, I actually thought
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: it was hilarious, and we like hugged it out the
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: next day. I know that's always good for TV. But
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: like he was, yeah, I mean I made a snarky
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: ass comment.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: It wasn't though. It just didn't land because he was
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: still hurt from like whatever he was feeling. But I
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: remember after you were mean to me, you poked your
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: head through this like wall of string, and you were like, oh,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I go shut the fuck up.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I know, I apologize.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: We were all on one hundred.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I went after your lips, so, I mean I picked them.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: You never go after someone's looks like that.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: But here's the thing. It would be one thing if
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I was like born with these lips and you made
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: fun of them. It's like they're from God. But like
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I literally went into a doctor and said give me
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: these lips. It's like, I'm not offended hand picks.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: Listen, do whatever makes you happy people who are listening,
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: but just don't fuck with your lips.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: It's always doesn't end well, fuck you, I'm poking. I'm pokeing.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: No, but I'm glad you said that, because it can
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: get very gnarly, very quick. They wouldn't touch him again.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: They don't look like they did in that one moment.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: They look lovely.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: That's what I was trying to get them back to.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: And my doctor was like, we're not fucking with your lips.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, God, just put a noodle in the lips.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I will say, they'll filler in the cheeks. Don't ever
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: do it. Not that you would, but that's like I
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: got it. And then I went in and immediately had
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: it dissolved. Really yeah, I did not like it.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: It looked just you look so natural. You don't look
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: like you've had any surgery. Oh wow, you do.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Thinks if I were to show you my lop sided tits,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: you'd be like someone put a knife in her. Someone
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: put a knife in her, which, by the way, I'm
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: totally having done.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: You're getting your breast redone a reproduction.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Not a reduction. I'm not trying to have mosquito bites, buddy.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I had no idea what your boobs look like. I
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: don't know if they're big, medium, small.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: That's fucked up that you wouldn't notice that.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, i've never seen you naked.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Well, there's always time today, you have until six pm.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Although I got punished for allegedly seeing your boobs and Hawaii,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: but I never actually saw them.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Oh and that's when they were cute and perky.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Oh that's okay, we were all cute and perky.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Then we really were your iconic lines. Dude. I used
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: to live with Kristen. She's the only person I've ever
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: wanted to murder.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: It's so weird because now I'm so fucking I've always
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: been tight. That's just a brother's sister thing. Like we
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: had such a love and not even a love hate,
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: just love. But like when you're that close to someone,
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, man, that was my sister and she
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: still is and I love her, but yeah, there was
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: when I lived together, I had a lot of rage
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: towards her.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I love, Like, what that is such a shorts answer,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: that's true.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: It's like we've hung out like NonStop, and we were besties.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: But also like sometime, you know, I think, like.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: What would she do that would make you want to
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: murder her?
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Just like her there late night. I don't want to
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: dredge up the past, but her and Tom late night
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: like three am fights.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I'm in the room right next door, and I like
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I I.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: My worst sound in the world, My most hated sound
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: in the world is two people fighting.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: It just gives me so much stress and anxiety.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: And like you took it on, yeah, and I sometimes
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: it would spill over into my room and stuff and like.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but oh they would come in and try to
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: drag you into it.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: No, just I don't know, man, I think I repressed it.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I don't even know how I got to that point.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: But there was a time when I lived with her
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: where yeah, she was driving me crazy. But now we
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: joke about it all the time and we love them.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: You know what women always go through at least one
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: relationship that is like that, where it's fueled by alcohol.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: You're young, you got roommates, you have a boyfriend who
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: keeps fucking up and is making you crazy, which was
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: the title of her book. He's making you crazy. And
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: now anytime a man is like that woman's crazy, I'm like, no, no, no, no,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: we're gonna need to start from the beginning. What did
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: you do to make her crazy? Because it's always your
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: guy's fault.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Well, i'll take it. I'll take it.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: It is always your guy's fault.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: It's yeah, no comment.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I'm literally just a bartender. Were you ever just a bartender?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I remember you being way bad at that.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Listen. I'm a great mixologist.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I can make good cocktails and come, I can curate
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: a menu, but under pressure, I can't make drinks and
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: talk to you at the same time.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I don't have the ability.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: So it's one of the other, and you need to
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: be good at both in order to be a good bartender.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I crack under pressure.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: You do mm hm. I feel like you thrive.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Depends on what kind of pressure it' you thrive. Like
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: if someone I remember like doing okay in school and
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: then the moment they were like and now there's a test,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: it was like, oh my god, I've forgotten everything. Where
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: am I? What's my name? That kind of pressure I crack.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: And and by the way, I was the worst hostess ever.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: I remember I have such clear memories of you hosting
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: and just like, yeah, like your outfits you would wear,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: like really, yeah, you're kind of like, I don't know,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: scantily clad.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Also like you.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Know, no, I remember Diana always being furious because she's like,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: that's not where they're supposed to go on, Like, there's
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: four people, so wherever there's four seats, that's where they're
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: going to be going.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Like, we have similar energies when it comes to working
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: in bars and restaurants.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Although I've done it in my whole.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Life, hardest job I've ever had, Why do I.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Keep coming back.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: I don't know why because I'm like I hated it
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: since the beginning, but I always kept coming back as
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: parts of it.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I love to the restaurant business.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: I love people, and I love hanging out with people
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: and being an environment where they're in a good mood,
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: they're not stressed out about their life, they're having a cocktail.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: So then maybe you should just stick to like doing
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: appearances at other people's bars, because then you don't have
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: the pressure of like the alcohol and how much it's
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: going to cost and like, oh my god, we ordered
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: too much food that went to waste and what a
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: waste of money. Like all of those things I feel
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: like would give me anxiety.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I will never invest in another bar in miles. This
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: is a matter how much money I have. I would
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: never put my name on a lease for a bar.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Again in my life.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: I would help contribute creatively or something like a.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Tom Tom situation. You do another one of these invest.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: As long as I have zero liability. Mmm, but I
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: wouldn't do.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: You guys, you do not want to open a bar restaurant.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: I've seen behind the curtains. It is fucking stressful. It'll
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: eat you alive, coming home late, fox up your sleeping hours,
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: you miss all the holidays. It's so not worth it
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: of money you could make as capped unless you scale
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: and like have a franchise. I mean you can listen.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of people who make a lot of money,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: but just a lot of people who lose a lot
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: of money too. It's very scary business.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: It doesn't look fun to me in the least.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: It's scary, horrifying. I have nightmares sometimes still PTSD. I'm
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: not even joking.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually have nightmares about the bar sometimes.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: How much all in all, did you guys invest in
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: that I probably lost.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Like six six seven hundred grand, which is insane. I
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: don't know, six hundred grand a house, for sure, that's
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: that's a night, the down payment on a beautiful, beautiful house.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like I could have bought like three five rental
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: properties in Florida or something like cheese.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I don't think about her anymore. I I released it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: I went on like I had so much, both the
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: pent up resentment and frustrations, and but I let it
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: all go.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I've truly good for you.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: That's very hard to do.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: No, it felt so good, like it was like a
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: demon leaving my body. Yeah, it was so nice.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Resentment is the one thing that is the hardest to
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: get rid of. Yeah, it will eat you alive.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: No, I feel free. I'm skipping and frolicking everywhere.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Now, good for you. Yeah, Plus, you have a hot
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: girlfriend that probably helps you know, fuck the resentment out
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: of you with their hot face. God, do you remember
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: when James and I were on Watch Rabins Live during
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: twenty fifteen where we cussed so much that Andy literally
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: banned us forever.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's probably one of the most iconic episodes ever,
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: and I just like to look on Andy's face.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: He was genuinely so. He hated as you guys. He
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: hated you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: So I have zero recollection of being there at all. Truthfully,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize it was so bad, Like I went
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: to the club after to celebrate, like how well we did?
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: It was so bad. It was good and it was
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: iconic and I got to talked about earlier. You salvaged
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: it at the end, singing and James freestyling. That made
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: up for the whole episode.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: It haunts me, an, can I tell you? I was
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: so happy because I would tell people about this, and
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I wrote about it years ago in my book, and
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: there were people that would ask me where they can
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: find it. They couldn't find it on the internet anywhere. Well,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: recently it has reappeared and it is my biggest fucking
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: nightmare that it is. No not thank you. I commented
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: on it and was like, when someone asks me why
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I got sober, this is a part of the montage
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: that plays in my mind.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: If you haven't seen it, just go on TikTok you'll
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: find it.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Talking about my panties dropping, make it go, Pop Pop
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Pop until my panties go drop, drop drop. That is
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: repulsive and disgusting. And I thought, in my mind, wherever
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: my mind was at that time, thought I was slaying
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: the I was like, I'm for sure getting a record deal.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Where's Where's doctor Trey? No, you were a little Deululu
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Dela law as fuck. I'm sending ocean in that video
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: when she turns eighteen. Oh Jesus, please don't.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you the guy that did my makeup
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: in that Water Happins Live appearance. I loved my face
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: so much and maybe it was good, maybe it was bad.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I can't remember. I cannot watch the video. But I
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: brought him to La to do my first reunion season
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: four makeup and he had learned a new technique. And
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: that's when you guys were blessed with my glam on
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: the season four reunion.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's actually a good photo.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: That is not what it looked like. Your outfit with
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: that horrendous shade of blue. There it is there, she is.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I want that on a sweatshirt.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: It's so weird that you were like a caricature of
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: yourself almost you know what I mean?
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: And what is that blonde hair? It's like very yellow.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I liked it like your I think your dark era
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: was your best era. You look gorgeous now.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: But thank you that when I look at that I
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: go reading ring book, I look like a fucking color wheel.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Were you self aware at that time? Did you have
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: did you have the frontal lobe?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: No? Not quite. I was only twenty four. I hadn't
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: quite developed. I feel like mine developed closer to thirty,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Thank heavens. James shade to Schwartz. Schwartz suggested a sandwich
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: that could kill a hangover. James then said he wants
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: a mand witch. We all know Tom likes to sloppy Joe.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Where do you and Joe stand today?
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: I have heart, yeah, far apart, but there's no bad blood.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I wish nothing but the best for her. But I
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: kept her block for some private reasons and stuff. But no,
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: I honestly if she's if she hears this, I'm always
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: rooting for her.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Like I hope you're doing well.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: You were you PR trained?
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: No? Wow? God, no, how do you get PR trained?
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: What do you do?
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: You are the most like PC person on the planet?
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: What does what does media chaining look like? Have you
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: had it?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Are you I need constant crisis pr I can't shut
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: the fuck up.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Do you like study or do you sit down and
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: go through?
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's like someone who comes in and they're like,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: when you're asked this kind of question, they teach you
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: how to reframe it. Yeah, so that you the person
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: asking feels like you answered it but you said nothing
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: at all.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: It's the best at that of all time. The goat
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Lisa vander Palm. She is so good in a cheeky
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: smart way.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: She throws shade though, which is what I love about her.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: She will because she's not boring.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, she is great in an interview. She doesn't
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: hold back. She's spicy, cheeky, but.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: If she if there's something she's not comfortable addressing, she'll
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: redirect it in a way and not really say much.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: But it's still charming and it's yeah anyway.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: The accent is so flawless too. If I had an accent,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: then I feel like everything that came out of my
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: mouth would be like so much more.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: I miss Lisa.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: I haven't talked to him. I got a FaceTime or
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: later check in. I know he's the busiest fucking Vegas now.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: The shirtless brawl. Sandoval and Jack's took their shirts off
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: to fight. Stossy's boyfriend Frank, I don't think I was
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: around during that. Were you there?
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: It was insane?
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Guy, I cannot I think they if anything, I don't don't.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: They could fully capture the stakes of how intense it was.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: It was a barroom brawl, like chairs were flying across
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: the room.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: It was insane, like it was violent.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Why why did the shirts get well? Chairs are being
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: thrown them? Violent?
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: One actually got injured. It was all more huffing and puffing,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: It was like, is it because Jackson was in a
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: knit sweater so he was hot?
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: But maybe flying a little too high.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to think the practical reasons why people rip
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: the sh I know it's a sh like an alpha move.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: It's like beating your chest like a gorilla.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: But like, what are the practical reasons to take your
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: shirt off so people can't grab it?
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Like? I think it's just a flex a show of machismo, right.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've never been in a fight where I've
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: removed my shirt.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Not yet.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Stassy's Revenge Starssy Trash, Jacks's apartment and drinks six hundred
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: dollars worth of fish champagne. What was his response when
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: he found that out? Did he come back to the
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: boys and thought, holy shit, six hundred dollars? How wild?
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Six hundred dollars? Was that just one bottle?
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: We used to do catering jobs and we would steal them.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Oh so it's not like paid for them.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: No, No, we would do private jobs and they were
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: they like they were you know, they were overstocked, like
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: and they had big you know, big companies like a
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Mowett would be like one of the promoters are what's
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: the word, I can't think sponsors, sponsor Jesus of the
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: events and the like.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: You know, we'll take a bottle or two and throw
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: them in our bag. You know, we wouldn't get greedy.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: But yeah, but like every every single catering job I
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: ever did, I would take at least two bottles.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, and I regret nothing.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Why would you?
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: And there was times I took more maybe ten fifteen,
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: but just clinking from two to fifty although no, okay, And.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: There some days I was like, fucking, I'm taking the
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: whole case.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: I got fired from one of my jobs. Actually, I
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: never told anyone that it was the last one. It
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: was one of my I forget the name of the company,
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: but it was like my favorite company to work for,
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: and they were so sweet. But I one of the
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: bartenders went home six. So I was just slanging drinks and.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: That's that's my wheelhouse.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: You know, you're porn Boka Sota's shots, Like that's my specialty.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Jack and Cox.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: But I took like two bottles of tequila and for
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: some reason, the managers went in my bag and they're like,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: we're gonna have to ask you to leave, and it
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: was all somber.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Did you have to leave the bottles behind you?
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: And they never hired me again.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: But I was like, come on, did you get to
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: keep the bottles?
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Though? Like come on, dude, Like really, who cares?
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Who cares?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: They have billions of dollars? Like it's just you know
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: what I.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Mean, right, do you know how much money the alcohol
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: industry brings in?
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: And I know what the bodel is actually it's like, dude, anyway,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: how old were you? I think this is this is
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: before the show started. This is like twenty ten.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, why would you ever in your whole life
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: throw a drink on Katie during an argument, and that
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: couldn't have been the first time you so you so
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: flawlessly dumped the drink.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: I'm in my entire life, I've done that. I know that.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Really like what possessed you.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I was like she was. I have
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: no excuse for it.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I think I lost my mind, clearly, I don't know,
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: but I think if I remember, it wasn't like I
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: threw it in her face.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: I just kind to throw it in her direction.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: No, you dumped it on her head.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: No I did not.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: I saw the footage.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make people go.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Look at that because that was like my lowest moment.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: But I think I just lost my mind that trip.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: I was just in such a bad place. I fucking
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: lost my mind.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Do you remember when Dody threw a drink at James
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: when we were in Mexico and it landed on me,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: And the whole reason it was thrown was because Jack's
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: and Sandoval made up this lie that James, you were
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: fucked up. You couldn't even function. You guys had just
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: gone coffing. You guys had just.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Gone call that one of our sloppiest days. Ever, the
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: sloppiest is the night before.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, it was very intense.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: That's that's where I woke up in the wrong resort.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: On the wrong beach. Yeah, he was you were elsewhere?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: And the way that it was like one one of
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: the times I looked at and felt so badly for James,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: like rewatching it and him being like, do I hang
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: out with Kristen? Not really? A little bit, not really,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: And everyone's like, we asked him if he hooked up
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: with Kristen and he said a little bit, not really,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: and he was like, I didn't do that, and he
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: was like crying to me in my room. Then he
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: got a drink thrown on him. What did drink's being
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: thrown on? Vander Pump? Do you think the new season
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: will have a lot of drinks being thrown?
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I hope. So.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: I love a good drink throw. It's like one of
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: the pillars of any great reality. So you knew the
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: occasional drink throw. I don't ever want to be a
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: part of that again in my life, but it's really inerting.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: One else needs to do it.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: I love a good drink throw. Yeah, yeah, I like
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: women on women drink throwing. Not that's like almost fetishizing it.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: No, but and I love when they're in white T
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: shirts with no bra. But it's like a fucking weirdo.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: There's a double stand No, it's not sexual in nature,
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: but it's like maybe there's a double standard. Like when
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: guys do it seem so like bitchy they just I
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: don't know, like aggressive, like violent for some reason.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Like when I see like the Housewives do it, it's
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: like funny.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: It's because I think you also, like myself, appreciate the
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: art of reality television.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I sure do.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you something very quickly. You said
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: that you had a crush on Alexia from Miami.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know when I ever said that, but I
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: think I did say it.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but listen, I saw it in a lot of places.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: She's fucking stunning.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: She's gorgeous, and she's so damn charming.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: And I've always like, I've always liked I think for
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: like I don't know Miami women, Cuban women, God like,
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: I just I've never dated one, but I've always been.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: You could not handle all that, honey, That's what I hear.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Let me, that's what I hear.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: But you could not handle gorge and I.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Went to her salon and had such a good time.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: And she's cool as ship. We had so much fun.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's the one time I was jealous of you.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Have you hung out with her?
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: No, we communicate via Instagram, though.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: She's so fun. And yeah, housewives with Miami or the ship?
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: What's your favorite housewives? Oh see?
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Or I mean, uh, fucking Miami's crushing it?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Miami, Saltlake Cities like Numbers.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Is very good.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: It's so good.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Did you notice during the wedding or did you watch
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: it where Sandoval wipes the tears?
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: With his dogs? With your dogs?
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: So sweet, so sweet. Butter is such an EmPATH, like
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: he did. I know he was there crying too. He's
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: such a sweet guy.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: He's such an empathy. I can't I want you to
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: have children, just so I can see what changes with
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: you and your dogs. I remember Lily laying her head
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: on the bath and I was like expecting ocean and
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I looked at her and we made like just the
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: most soul to soul connection. I was like, Lily, I
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: will never love this baby more than I love you.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Don't even worry about it, girl, moment I came home,
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Lily's on the bed. I'm like, Lily, you gotta get
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: off the bed. No hair near the baby, off the bed.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Not saying that I don't love her.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: It just shifts.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: But I would just be curious to see.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't wait too.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I loved when he wiped the tears with butter. Didn't
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: have blonde streaks. I have the blonde or like silver streaks.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: I liked his silver streak era.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: It was horrendous.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: I liked it. It was very very nineties boy band.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Don't fuel don't fuel it, please don't for the love
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: of God. Last one was the New Orleans bachelor party.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: He's a fucking battered wife, kicks the door in.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I think I should have died on that trip. No,
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say that.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: But were you taking a deuce? You were sitting on
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: the door.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: I was just taking a moment because I was so
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: stressed out and I just felt like crying. I remember
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: just being really like intoxicated, and I.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Just was like sad.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: I remember I was junkie, but I was more. I
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: was really sad and stressed out. I felt like I
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: was like I was gonna lose like the love of
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: my life. At the time, I was like, I fucking
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: sabotaging my relationship.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the instead you went on to sabotage it
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: anyway when it ended anyway.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: Oh, listen, I think it was probably, Yeah, that was probably.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: That's my favorite, probably my favorite episode.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I think I never saw it. Yeah, I'm going to
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: go back and watch it.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: It's so funny.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I have to go back and watch it.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: It's so fun looking funny.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I need to go back to season one and watch
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: all the vander Pump roles because and stop when I enter,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: but I do not. During COVID, I went back and watched,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: but for some reason, I'm not remembering anything that happens,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not remembering the Frank fight right with them.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I want to give one teaser, Yeah, that that is
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: not the last time people are going to see you
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: dressed as a girl.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I'm very excited about it.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: True, and I think I totally redeemed myself.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: I think you did too, I don't.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I hate that one of my legacies is being the
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: ugliest man as a woman ever and when people comment
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: that to me all the time, like Schwartz, you're You're
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: a pretty good looking dude. You're kind of sexy, but
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: like you are the ugliest woman on the planet.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I hear that a lot. The ugliest.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Well, let's hope you don't pro create girls. Oh and
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: the girls always look just like their dad from what
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I've heard. All Right, Schwartzy, thanks for sticking around for
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: the Boner episode. I appreciate you. Thank you guys for
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: listening to another episode of the Bonus untraditionally, Lala, I
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: will catch you guys on Wednesday and again next week. Bye.