Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0196_ The Squish — Chaos, Comedy, Culture & Unfiltered Stories

Transcript

#0196_ The Squish — Chaos, Comedy, Culture & Unfiltered Stories · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: have an audio-only episode for you. We're going to be
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: doing video episodes on Mondays from now on that are
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: going to be released Mondays, 9 p.m. This one's a
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: little late. You know, this is a big week on
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: our tour here. I'm in New York City doing a
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: show at the Beacon Theater. We're coming from D.C. We've
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: been living on a tour bus. But we have a
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: new studio being built in... Los Angeles, California. So we're
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: here with Ray, and Ray's come over to the hotel,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: and he's brought his equipment. Hello. Thank you for having me. Yeah.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Well, it was a necessary thing to have you.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: What, because of the equipment? Well, that's part of it.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: That seems, I mean, I feel like people like me.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Well, you insulted my hat. It's not a great hat.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: You insult me.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Look, I see a hat. You wear hats sometimes now.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: People see you in the videos wearing hats occasionally with
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: your sunglasses.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I wear them frequently. They're good hats. You have this hat.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: It's got an old school mesh hat, but it's not
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: even like a trucker hat. It's the kind of hat
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: you buy at a gift shop of a golf course
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: when you get to a golf course and you go, oh,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I forgot my hat. I'm afraid of getting leopard spots.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: On my head. Let me get a hat. Right.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: And you're flaunting it to me. I say, oh, what's
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: up with the hat?
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: You go, what do you mean? Well, I'm not flaunting it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: You came in and immediately started attacking it.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Well, you said, this is a cool hat.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, look. It was a gift.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: It's a nice gift.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Someone gave it to me. I'm just saying, it's fine.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: It's a gift.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: All I said originally was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: It's not the kind of hat I think you would wear.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Are you acting the way you're acting now, like on
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: a pedestal, because you're going to teach a class at
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the University of Austin? Do you know what the University
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: of Austin is? I've heard of it, yeah. Barry Weiss's
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: new online school. Is she running it? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. No, no, no, no, no.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I saw it on Twitter.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: It's all like the people that have been canceled from the.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: institutions of higher learning are, it's like Lex Friedman and
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: the Weinsteins and Barry and some of the people. Wait,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the Weinsteins are involved? Oh, I mean, come on.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Of course they are.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Nuts.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Some of the people at the University of Austin like me.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Many do not. I was not approached about the University
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: of Austin. What would you have liked to have taught? Well,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: here's the thing. All the people that I hate, hate
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: the University of Austin. But what's great about me is
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of an ally of no one, really. They
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: don't really want me involved in that either.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: If they offered you one of those honorary degrees, would
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: you show up to accept?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I want a fellowship.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: What is a fellowship?
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. That's why I want it. I don't know,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: but I want more than an honorary degree. I want
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: to be able to teach a class. Oh, so you
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: want to be an adjunct professor? I believe we can
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: kind of apply. To be students or to be professors?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: To be students at the University of Austin.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I'm sure we could.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think they're going to turn our money away. I.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Wait. What do you mean? By the way, it didn't
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: even dawn on me that there would be money exchange.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Like, I didn't even think about the idea that there
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: would be, like... financial i mean this is all i
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: saw on twitter was people sharing like screen caps going
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: like no we don't have accreditation we don't have like
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: we don't actually offer degrees per se.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Well here's where i will say the the university system
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: is countries is insane sure the amount of money it
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: costs to go to school right how useless a lot
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: of these degrees are sure and i've talked uh you know,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: ad nauseam about how corrupt these institutions are in terms
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: of the teachers raising their own salaries, administrators raising their
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: own salaries, professors, people making a lot of money. They're
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: in league with the government guaranteeing these loans, kids putting
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: themselves in an insane amount of debt. And a lot
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: of these schools, not all of them, but a lot
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: of them, everything is pretty one-sided politically. That's pretty Sure.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, the way I see it off the top
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: of my head seems to be like saying like, hey,
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: the EPA is not great at making sure your water
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: is not poisoned. So just poison, buy some poison water
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: from us. I don't think like it's like, oh, these
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: degrees are useless. So like they're no better than us.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: It's not an argument to buy your degree.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think the University of Austin, I don't
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: think it's for people that want degrees where they could
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: actually work. I think it's just people that go, we
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: want to pursue truth.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: It's skank fest for Brett Weinstein.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: It's perhaps that. It is. But it's like people that
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: are going, I want to, it's the dedicated, the mission
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: statement seems to be, it's dedicated to the fearless pursuit
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: of truth. That's the mission statement of it. Veritas. So
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: now I think it's all online. Can you get your
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: phone or my phone? We got to look this up
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: because I hate the woke universities, which we're not even
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: supposed to say woke anymore. What do you mean? Why? Well,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: we're not supposed to say them say the word woke.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: because we're not allowed to say anything anymore what do
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: you mean why because today they just came out with
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: the decree uh you know one of the chicks from
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: the view is like you can't say woke anymore because
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: it's a dog whistle or whatever.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Who knows what's that dog whistle it's just like a
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: five why.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Look everything is a dog whistle to these people so
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: we but i'm saying i'm no friend of the blue-haired
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: gender studies that's more of a dog whistle what the
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: blue hair I think blue hair is more of a
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: dog whistle than woke. What is blue hair dog whistling?
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: You know, it's just like that kind of like, you know,
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: gender fluid.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I'm honest. I hate them. Sure.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: But I think they're dumb. I think woke is the
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: most like sterile way.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I don't care. Say both. That's fine. I'm just saying
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I am no friend of these people.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: And I kind of support the University of Austin, but
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: it is seemingly a little absurd.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: What happened to America? I got picked between like two
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: groups of hucksters. That's always been America, I guess. I mean,
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: it's always been America.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: What do you want to look up here? We got
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: your phone there. The University of Austin. Okay.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: This is why the show doesn't work without a producer.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I want to know how to get in and if
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: we're allowed to get in and what we can do. Okay.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: What starts here changes the world.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Now, let me ask you a question.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Should we get into the University of Austin and
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: then start problems immediately? Oh, yeah. And, like, start claiming
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: that we.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Are non-binary and we were, like, sexually assaulted?
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, you mean, like, as students, we started saying, like,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Heather Heyer raped us?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe not her because I don't know how believable
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: that is.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Brett Weinstein?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Who? Barry Weiss? I don't know. I
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: think that you got to start poking around with not
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: outright rape accusations. Sure. But just little by little. I
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: was misgendered. Well, like little by little, just you play
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: the game a little bit. Just play the game.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I had a microaggression done upon me.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Well, they're not playing that game over there. So it's
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: going to have to be the other side. What do
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: you mean? We're going to have to start accusing people
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: of being gay. Oh, okay. This is what I mean,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: like the other side. Right. We're going to have to
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: start accusing people at the University of Austin of trying
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: to invite us to secret trans parties. Okay. They're self-hating
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: trans people, and they're having these trans parties, and they're
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: inviting us to them so they can sexually assault us.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: What if I start slut-shaming? Is that a viable path?
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: No, you're going the other way. University of Austin is
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: going to be okay with all that. Do you understand
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: what I mean? You better go the other way.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Conservatives are a weird thing because sometimes they like it
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: when people fuck, but then, you know, also you call
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: them sluts.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: We could start. You call them pig whores. Yeah, we
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: could start doing, we could start accusing people of being
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: in a facade. Okay. You know, when it go down
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: that road, go down that road. Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: You killed Diana.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: We could start getting the race shit really crazy. We
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: could go like.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Is there going to be a lot of racial diversity
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: on the campus?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, we could start pushing it into hard
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: right where they're uncomfortable. Like to just shape a skull stuff. Yeah.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: We could start pushing it there. Right. To see how
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: far they'll go. Hey, how big is your lie? Goebbels. What?
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: How big is your big lie? I was trying to
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: do a Goebbels reference.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Okay. Do that on your own. Hard right.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: It's usually hard right.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Do that on the show that gets 3,000 listens, please.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Five to eight. Okay. Tell us how we can get
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: in here. Okay. Admissions and aid. Undergraduate admissions. Let's see.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Welcome to long coordination. What is that? No, this is
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: not it. You're on the real one. Ray, you're on the... Ray,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: there's a real... University of Texas A & M. Like
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: university or like maybe it's not Texas A & M.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: There's a university in Austin. We're not talking about that.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: The University of Texas in Austin.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Right. We don't mean that. Get on Twitter. Go to
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Twitter to the University of Austin. On Twitter. Okay. I'm sorry.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get into Barry Weiss's college. It's the
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: University of Austin. With Lex Friedman. And Andrew Sullivan's on it,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: there's other people. So let's go to Barry Weiss first
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: and then... Yeah. There's a Twitter dedicated to this new college.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Is Barry Weiss off Twitter? What the fuck is going
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: on here? Did she block you because you're fat? Maybe.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: The official Twitter account of Barry... Oh, no. 57,000 followers.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Does that make sense? Is this Barry Weiss? Look, I
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: don't know what you... What are you talking about? There's
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: some guy and this is Barry Weiss.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: No, dude. I'm looking.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to find you.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: What are you not following?
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: I don't follow Barry Weiss. What are you talking about?
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: What's to follow? Why? Because you don't agree with her?
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I follow 400 people. I'm sorry.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I should follow more people.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I guess. Okay. I have it right here. Okay.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: I have the University of Austin right here up.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Now. I'm sorry.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: It's not on my homepage.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: All right. But I'm trying to find out. I'm trying
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: to find out what's going on here. Austin Org, at
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Austin Org, University of Austin. It's being followed by 10,000
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: people already. Here it is, ready? We're done waiting for
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: America's universities to fix themselves, so we're starting a new one.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: A university dedicated to the pursuit of truth, the fearless
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: pursuit of truth. Niall Ferguson, Heather Heintz, David Mamet, Joe Lonsdale,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Steven Pinker, Lex Friedman, Andrew Sullivan, Other people. Larry Summers.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: Isn't Joe Lonsdale like Enron?
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: No, he does Palantir. Oh, okay.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: What if it was just corporate criminals?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Like Fastow. Andy Fastow. Ken Lay's son in parentheses. But
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: it's the University of Austin. I mean, Dave Portnoy. Yeah, look.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Why not? He could be the gym teacher. It would
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: just be a funny week to announce that he was Dave.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Portnoy's gym teacher. Is he too toxic for them now?
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Look, I don't know what happened with him,
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: but I feel like he's in a better position. I
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: trust him more than any of these people.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I probably do as well. Dave Portnoy, you know, insider.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You don't remember this kid that used to work. There
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: was a comic, this kid named, I'm not going to
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: say his name. He used to be a comic. He
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: quit comedy. Then he started working for Business Insider. He
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: interviewed me a few months ago for like an hour
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: and the profile never came out. I totally forgot about it.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Then he texted me three days before the Portnoy thing
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: came out or like two days. And he said, listen,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: the reason it never came out of Business Insider is
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: they wanted me to run a hit piece on you. Right.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: That you were some like reactionary.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Comedian look i'll say this i don't like the way
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: they marketed that story it's crazy it isn't i've never
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: seen that like i mean yeah people give shit at
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: the time have you ever seen the times like like
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: like promote a particular story then get like paygate it
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: like it's that's the most trashy like yeah unrespectable way
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: to like do anything just.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Throw it behind the paywall to me was unconscionable Also,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: when you read the story, there was no crime committed.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: There was no suggestion of any crime committed.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: There was no suggestion.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: That he abused his power in the workplace.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: There was no suggestion that he had an inappropriate relationship
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: with someone that worked for him or that he had
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: promised someone something. It just seemed very weak.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sure.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: It did not seem like it was really that... You know,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and I think.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't pay for the article, so I didn't see it.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: No, but there were screenshots. I didn't pay for it either.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Don't imply that I paid for it. You would have
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: more money if you went to the University of Austin.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I agree. Portnoy took a lot of eyeballs. You're in
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: the sports world more than me. He's taken a lot
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: of eyeballs away from people like ESPN and stuff that
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: probably are not happy about that. He's an enemy of
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: the New York media.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I can't say it's wrong. I mean, yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: it seems like that was just logical. I mean, you know.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: You think it was like fucking Steve Naismith and some
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: of those guys at ESPN?
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: No, I just, I don't think it's those guys. I
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: think that they, people don't like disruptors. I think Portnoy's
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: a disruptor. I think I'm a disruptor.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: He's a loud mouth. He trashes.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: He's not afraid.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: When Elon Musk was doing shit with the whole AMC thing.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: He was going after Robin Hood. He was going after this.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, he's not afraid to rattle cages.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: The idea that someone would retaliate in this wouldn't surprise me.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing as what we've done and what
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I've done with podcasting. It's like I don't set out
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: to do anything other than make people laugh, but people
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: end up getting angry and then the show's done really well.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: So a lot of these New York media types hate
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: me too because they're broke and they don't have anybody
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: following them. And I have all these people following what
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I do and I think Portnoy's in a similar position.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: I mean, look, it definitely seems Business Insider has done
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: nothing to make me think it's credible. There's nothing.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I love that they changed the name from Business Insider
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: to just Insider. When did that happen? recently their best
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: couple exactly no it was a couple of months ago
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: but they're basically like no we're a tabloid yeah like
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: insider edition yeah we're like we're a tabloid yeah i
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: mean was business insider ever a legit mag i have
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: no idea it always yeah the guy that started it
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: is like a disgraced guy who's banned from trading oh
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: really port noise going at him on twitter all the Yeah,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't, look. Portnoy's a scrappy guy. People
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: want to see him fight. They want to see him
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: in a corner fighting.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: You watch that video of him when Michael Rappaport was
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: suing him? and over that shirt he made, and then
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: the lawyer was giving him shit, and he's just talking
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: shit to the lawyer.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: He don't give a fuck. He doesn't care.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: He's a Boston guy, you know?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He's got money. Yeah. He doesn't give a fuck.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Why make the money if you can take shit from lawyers?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: That's a great point.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: You know? Come on down to the University at Austin.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Will this have a physical campus?
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: There was some screenshot about, like, how we don't really
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: necessarily believe in Oh, no, they do want physical space.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: They like the idea of it.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you need a brick and mortar.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's going to be like a little Caesars.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: It's going to be like an H.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: & R Block. Yeah, I mean, you're going to need
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: a brick and mortar. Sure. For tax purposes. For sure. No,
• 16:34
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• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the alley next to the little Caesars.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. They're going to have to have security because Antifa
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• 16:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, look, here's the reality. None of the people
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: you mentioned, they all have some money. They don't have
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: endowment money.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: They don't have that kind of money. So who's going
• 16:51
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• 16:52
  Speaker 3: I mean, PragerU, they seem to be bankrolled by like
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: some kind of, you know, I mean, the megachurches or whoever.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not sure who. And also, are they
• 17:00
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• 17:02
  Speaker 1: PragerU? I don't think PragerU is a real U.
• 17:05
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• 17:08
  Speaker 3: this is going to be.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Perhaps, but I don't think Dennis Prager is... Do you
• 17:12
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• 17:15
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• 17:19
  Speaker 3: I'm sure in certain areas of the Bible Belt.
• 17:22
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• 17:24
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• 17:28
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• 21:18
  Speaker 1: It's a little crazy, but I'm telling you right now,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: it's getting... I'm vaccinated. What is your feeling on the booster?
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Look, at this point, I don't think they waited for
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: the booster to kill me. In the worst case, I'm sorry.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I understand, but at a certain point, it's like, I
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: have had it. I have the antibodies. I'm a little
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: wary of just continuing to just put COVID in. You
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: know what I mean?
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: Look, I mean, I don't know if it was an indefinite.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: I totally get that logic. And I'm not like, I
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: don't necessarily agree with the mandates.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Right. Or anything like that.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Me particularly, I'm not on the cover of men's health
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: this month. You know, so I might, you know, go.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: One more booster. One more. Tied me over for the winter. Yeah.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Booster for the winter. I got to think about it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I think I have the antibodies from actually having it.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I don't want the booster.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I don't want to keep putting this in my body.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know if there's any real downside to that.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know either. There isn't either. Nobody's going
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: to know. Yeah, the problem is no one's going to know. Yeah, maybe.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: There's a downside to the young people getting myocarditis whose
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: hearts are getting inflamed.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: A lot of people get myocarditis.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about? That's such a Pfizer response. Hey, hey,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: there's a guy in an office. Hey, a lot of
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: people get myocarditis. Shut the door. Shut the door. Yeah,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: but people are losing their minds. I mean, you know,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I'm backstage getting ready to go out and do a
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: show in D.C.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Everybody had to show their vax cards to get in.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: And then these people are coming up to me going,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: you got to have your mask on if you're not
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: in the green room. And it's like... Something is going
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: on here. Right. So people are going to get boosters
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: and still keep their masks on. So explain to me
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: what's going on. When is it just going to be
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: mask forever and boosters forever? Because I'm not doing that. Right.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: And I think most Americans that are rational people don't
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: want to do that.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I think they got six months left. of where I
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: can even pretend like.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Six months? I'm saying of.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Like, look, I'm not saying six months of me wearing
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: a mask all the time.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I thought you were like, they got six boosters left.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: If you can't cure me with five more boosters, including
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: this one, listen to me, six boosters left. That's it.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I'm saying this. In six months....
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: We're going to be where we're going to be. We're
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: not going to fix this. But why aren't we there now?
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: There was a lot of resistance. Look, these are all
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: narratives working out, right?
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: But the cases are not high at all.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: I don't look at case numbers.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know. The problem. Are they not high? I
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: don't know. They're not high.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: They're like kind of high in Colorado, weirdly.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Okay. And then they keep saying like Europe's experiencing more
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: cases than you look at. It's like 200. But here's
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: my thinking.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: And I'm not saying that anyone should, you know, I'm
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: not being skeptical, but it's like, you know, it's going
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: to get worse in the winter. It always does. So
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: like the next spring it's going to thaw out.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: It's going to get better.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: And then that's kind of where we're going to be
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: in my opinion.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: But that's what we thought last spring.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying what's going to, I'm not predicting what's
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: going to happen. I'm saying from my perspective.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I understand, but we're two cycles of that line of
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: thinking not working out.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: Well, the first cycle was very contentious. And then the
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: second cycle.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Is it getting less contentious? No, but look, here's the thing.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: Here's the way I look at it is regardless of
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: whether you agree with the vaccine or not.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: There was a legitimate.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Reason for them to go... We need a vaccine, sure.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: We need a vaccine.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, we're going to try to push this out. We're
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: going to try.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Even the desperation mandate.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Give it a shot.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: See, maybe people will just take it.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Fine. You made your play, right? Now, it didn't work out.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: It's like a movie that failed. It's like when John
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Carter came out back in Disney and it was a bomb.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: They didn't keep releasing the trailer for John Carter.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: So it's like... Maybe it'll excite them again. Now, what
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: was John Carter? Why did that bomb so bad?
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: It was based on a story called John Carter from Mars.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: It was about a man who went to Mars or
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: came from Mars.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: What year was this? 2010, I think. Yeah.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: It was a real big bomb for them. It was
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: before they bought the Avengers, I think.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There's part of me, though, that I'm getting a
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: little sick of it, and I don't think I've got
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: six months left in me. No, I'm saying for me.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: I've always been a little more like, look, I don't
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: think it's going to poison me. There is a virus.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: So I'm just like, but I'm saying in six months,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: here's what I'm saying. In six months, I'll start going
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: out like, this has got to stop. I'm not quite
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: there yet. A lot of people are yelling at each other.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: If you give them the benefit of the doubt, the
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: CDC makes them fucked up calls. I just think they're
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: doubling down on something they know doesn't work.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I don't think this has worked. Look, I don't think
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: they know it doesn't work.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: I think it's like, look.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: But it hasn't worked. It fades away after a while.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't work when you get it. It doesn't work.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: I know you got it, but look, they keep saying
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: the breakaway case or breakthrough cases are like rarer.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: You know that it's wrong. I know some people got it.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Everyone that got it has been vaccinated. Like a lot of.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: People have been vaccinated. There are plenty of them.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: They've switched the narrative now from breakthrough cases are rare
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: to they're not rare. I don't think they did that. Yes,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: they did. Really? Yes.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: What do you want me to do? You want me
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: to get a pitchfork now? I'm telling you, in six months,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get a pitchfork.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Why do I need to get a pitchfork now?
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to be the reasonable guy.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: But it's not reasonable. You're sounding like a crazy person,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: and I'm kind of sounding.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: Maybe you're right.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: You're kind of now sounding like a lunatic.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: I'm saying to you, look, we'll fight the government in
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: six months.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: You want six months to just get in shape? Yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: You're like, I need a boot camp in six months.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I can't do it.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: I've been doing on the Switch, I've been doing a
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: dance game.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: What is that?
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: They have a game where you hold the Joy-Con and
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: you just dance around and follow the motions. Oh, my God.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: What is that? Are you sitting? No, I'm standing. I'm
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: moving around. You can tell how you're moving. It's called
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: Just Dance. On the Nintendo Switch. Yeah, so I'm spinning
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: around my apartment.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Well, that's dangerous as well.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: Sure, but it'll get in shape a little bit.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so you're just... spinning around dancing. Do you
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: choose the music?
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: They have popular songs. I was dancing to something. It
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: was like the weekend.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Well, this is what you do instead of the booster.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: You don't need the booster. You need this game. And
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: you just dance around your apartment. You shed the pounds.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: They have the weird little hoop with a fitness switch
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: fitness thing. I was afraid the hoop wouldn't go around
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: my stomach. He's just like put it like a hula
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: hoop or something.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: You've always been an interesting fatalist. You're an interesting fatalist.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Like I have all these weird, like I'm hypochondriac. I'll
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: get MRIs I don't need. Like I'm a weirdo like that.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: You do have an interesting element of it. And I
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: respect it. I want to be more like it. The fatalist.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Like what will be will be? Kind of. Yeah.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, I just, I just feel like things are
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: simpler now. A lot of the time, like, yeah, they
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: make a big fuss for Kennedy when they want to
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: kill him.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: And 9-11.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I don't mean conspiracy theories. I mean, like,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: with health, you're not a guy that's, like, panicked about...
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I should be. Well, sure. No, no, no. Well,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: I agree. That's kind of the question. It's like.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Well, but the interesting thing with you is you're panicking
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: about all the wrong things, too.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: You admit that.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: You're panicking about a rash when you should be getting
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: in shape.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, I agree.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: So it's like, yeah, I don't worry about.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: If I'm going to get cancer, I'm going to get cancer. Right.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: That's how I view life. Yeah.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: We're going to go to a doctor and have them
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: check me out?
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Probably.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: They don't... People get cancer all the time. My mom
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: had cancer, she survived, but like five doctors told her
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: she didn't have it. And she was persistent. That's a
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: good point.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: What kind of cancer did she have? Ovarian.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: My point is like, I'm not that.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I love this idea of that because I've heard that
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: story from many other people. It's the most demoralizing thing.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: And you know it's these fucks don't want to pay.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: They just want them to drop dead. And literally people
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: like your mother, people that I've met, literally have to
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: go and go, no, I'm telling you. I have cancer.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I'm bleeding. I'm telling you it's cancer. I Googled it myself.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: It's cancer.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I did years ago. I had like a scare or
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: whatever because I thought my balls were lumpy. So I
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: went to a urologist. I went to my GP and
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: then he told me first go get a sonogram done.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: So Some woman just rubbed jelly on me and starts
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: scanning my balls. I go to the urologist, he starts
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: grabbing my balls. And I said, I got a sonogram done.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: They didn't send me shit.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: They just gripped my balls.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: And he said it was just swollen glands. But for
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: all I know, I've had testicular cancer for 15 years
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: and it's just growing.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I tried. I went.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: And I was told I was an idiot. He looked
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: at me like I was a fucking moron.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: That's a good point.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: But do you know why? Because none of these doctors
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: were educated at the University of Austin. That's a fair point.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Things are going to change. They're blinded by the woke.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Things are going to change. The Long Island fucking.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: That should be the fucking team song.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Blinded by the woke. Just Lex Friedman and Barry Weiss
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: banging cymbals together. Blind Jordan Peterson. Blind man by the wall.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: Is he on board or is he an outcast now?
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I don't think he is on board. He's the only one.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: He's like the star of the bunch.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: He went the furthest down the crazy rabbit hole, but
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: also is still somehow by far the most respectable.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: For sure. It's like so great.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: Like, I mean, he went to a Moscow prison, whatever
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: it was. It's all well documented. But still, like when
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Brett Weinstein's fucking, you know, shilling his like, you know, anti-vax,
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: not whatever he's doing. It's just it's just like, yeah,
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'll listen to Jordan any day.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Jordan seems to be the most intellectually.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: Sound of that crew. I guess Harris is a neuroscientist.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: But there is a problem in academia, right? So how
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: do you deal with it? Because everybody in academia has
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: lost their minds.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: Look, everyone's talking about student loan forgiveness, which I'm not
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: going to go into debate. The people on Twitter who
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: go like, oh, I paid off my student loans.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: What the fuck? I'm just screwed.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: You got screwed, so everyone else gets screwed.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: That's the worst response.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: Anything like this, you can't just wipe out 70 grand
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: of someone's debt and the guy who paid it off
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: gets fucked. Society can't work that way.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Especially if the people whose debt you're wiping off are
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: actually wealthy people, whereas that guy is a blue-collar guy
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: that either paid his own debt back or didn't go
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: to college and got a job as a carpenter or something.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: That being said... So maybe you do that. I don't know.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: We figured that out. But what really needs to happen
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: is to stop student loans at all.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Because it's just like health insurance. That's what causes this
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: spigot of price going up. Because even now, everyone's aware.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, I guess less kids are probably going to college.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Who knows, though?
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Either way, it's like, well, I guess I'll just... When
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: you're 19 or 18, you'll just defer.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: You'll go, look, I mean... Excuse me. I'll be one
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: of the lucky ones.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Well, you go, by the time I get out of here,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have a great job.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: I'll be paying these back.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Everyone's telling you it's not the case, but you're like, well,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: these people are morons. I mean, if you don't go
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: to Harvard or MIT, it's like pointless.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, you'll get a job. You'll need a college
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: degree to work at Burger King. for some reason, but
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: these crazy jobs require college education. But the only ones
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: who actually make real money now are like Ivy, you know,
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: top-level Ivy League stuff. So you just wipe out these
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: student loans.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: You got to get rid of the system that allows
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: these universities to bilk these kids out of money. Right.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Which is the Sallie Mae shit. Yeah.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: It's an endless spigot that, like, there's no incentive to, like,
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: keep it competitive. If they had to worry about what
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: people could actually afford, they would have to keep it
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: in line. And why do these campuses need... I didn't
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: go away to school. I would have liked to.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Uh....
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: It seems nice, but.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: That being said, how about you just go to a state.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: School, local, community colleges? Why do we need to go
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: away and have this experience?
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: It's a false experience. And Dan Coulter, who some people
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: say occasionally is racist, made a point that college is
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: just an IQ test. So instead of your employer giving
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: you an IQ test, they're saying, where did you go
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: to college? This was Ann Coulter's point the other day,
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: and she was talking on Andrew Sullivan's thing. And what
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: she was basically saying is you endure the four years
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: of college because they've outlawed the ability of an employer
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: to give you an IQ test. I don't know if
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that's true or not.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's pretty reductive, and no, it's not. I mean,
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: there might be some truth to it, but like... But
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: here's my overall point.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: My overall point is this, like ignore the specifics per
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: se of that example. Sure. I do believe that there doesn't,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: there seems to be like, There should be a way
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: for an employer to decide if they want to employ
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: you that doesn't involve you waving a piece of paper
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: that says you went somewhere for four years. And I
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I don't know if it's
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: an IQ test. I don't know what it is. But
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: there should be some measure of your ability because that's
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: what college is. College is job security for people. You
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: should be able to say, hey... I'm competent, smart, I'll
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: work hard, I'm this, I'm that.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: I think most people who go to college, it depends
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: on what you study.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Engineering, yeah, you need to go.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: And science type stuff, sure. But a lot of stuff
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: where you could do it with programmers or post-production video
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: stuff and film stuff, a lot of people like me
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: who've done college are worse at it. They're actually, like,
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: they're not, the people who have, like, editing degrees.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: What about the University of Austin College of Crypto? Like,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: it's one of the colleges with the University of Austin.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: Look, that's one, that's like being a doctor. So, yeah,
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: you should go to college with it.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: That's the College of Crypto. It's like NFT University. Why
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: don't you think, because I fully believe that if I
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: went to college, I would have had a completely different life.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: If I went away to college, it's one of the
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: biggest regrets.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Well, let's be real. We know how your 20s went.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: Do you discount the idea that you would have just
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: partied your way out of the first year of college?
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: I don't think that I would have been as influenced
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: and as, you know, I don't think I would have
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: started doing coke with a bunch of mortgage guys if
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I was going to a liberal arts school. Yeah, but
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: you started doing coke when you were 13. Yeah. Yeah,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: but I would do it on and off. But like
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of the heavy periods of time, you're doing
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: it with other people that are doing it. And I'm
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: not saying that it's impossible that that would have happened.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: But like, had I been influenced by a bunch of
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: people that were just like, we smoke weed, we do this,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: we do that. This is what we do. We drink.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: I think a college experience, I would have come out
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: of the closet sooner. I wouldn't be a comedian. I
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be funny because I wouldn't have had to be.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: I would have probably learned how to live earlier if
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I learned how to live. Are you discounting all of this?
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Are you saying that if you had gone away to college,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: you don't think you would be a different man on
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: a different path?
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: I might have gotten better women earlier on.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, you've gotten some lovely women. I have. Look,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I'm doing fine, so I'm not complaining. The woman that
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: you went to. We're not going to rehash the story,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: but when you went to the Flanders duck in Long
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Island and you brought that woman Arby's and she kept
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: calling her roommate Carl. Right. And the girl, she was
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: a girl. Yeah.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: She kept calling her female roommate Carl. It was a
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: running joke they had. I think they were off-duty prostitutes.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: I think they were on-duty prostitutes. They didn't ask you
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: for money.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: They just asked you for Arby's. Yes. Well, that's, listen,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: the point is this. You don't think that you would
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: have had a better, I don't know if it's better,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: but it would have been different.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Well, the point I was making was I look back
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: and go, I probably would have fucking lazied my way
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: out of the first year of college. It's like it
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: basically did. I mean, I went to like local community
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: college for years and like barely went to class.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: What do you mean?
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: You went for years. I went to Suffolk for like
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: a bunch of years. I did too. I'd go in
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: and out of NASA.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Right. And you didn't like it. Why didn't you let
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: your son?
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Well, I enjoy parts. I remember my legal knowledge, a
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: lot of it comes from, I have a paralegal.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: The question so many people have for you is that
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: you're so intelligent, but you never liked schooling. It's very
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: interesting to find someone as smart as you that never
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: liked schooling. Here's what it is. I'm smart.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: I know how smart I'm not. I'm smart enough to
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: be bored by the beginning of a class and not
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: smart enough to not need to pay attention to like
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: throughout the class.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Right. Like, Oh, I guess it's boring.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: And I tune out.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: And then like, and there are some people who like, yeah,
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: when the test comes, like, yeah, I'm a math genius.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not that guy.
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: I'm like, Oh, I should have paid attention like two
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: thirds of the way through.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: But it's even bigger than that because you never fell
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: in love. It's a pattern I have. Well, you just
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: never fell in love with the institutions of learning.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: Like you, I was very skeptical of professors. If I
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: didn't outright call bullshit.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: It's so weird because You've made me out to be
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: this right-wing lunatic.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: No, I haven't.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, you have.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: When you say that you're skeptical of professors, why?
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: Because they're teaching at a community college.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Well, I agree with you. It's the archetype of person
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: that would become a professor at a community college.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: I've had some of the worst professors. My dad used
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: to say those who can do and those who can't teach,
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: it's a hack. thing but you know it's like it's
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: not a hack it's true it's true but.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I mean I had a public like I mean we
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: had one class called I forget what it was called
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: it was called it was like a communications class it
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: was like a speech class right and the professor's name
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: was like Professor Ghoulianello and she was just like and
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: he was like She was just some Italian and she
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: would come in with like, you know those boots, those
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Long Island boots that like, they go up to your
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: knees and you can scrunch them down. They're weird. They
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: look like witch hats, those boots. And she would walk
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: in every day and she'd be like, Her whole thing
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: would she be like, she'd be like, and if you plagiarize,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I will know. Like she would just spend like 10
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: minutes threatening the class about what would happen. She would
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: just tell stories. She'd be like, had this girl, she
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: plagiarized the whole thing. And she thought I would know. Well,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: I knew. And this is the caliber of person you
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: would get teaching at community college.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: I had a high school teacher who was an English teacher,
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: a very fat guy.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: And he used to rest his hands, his little hands
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: on his big fat stomach.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: And he would tell us once, he was also a
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: community college teacher, and he was telling, for no reason,
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: I don't even know why he brought it up, but
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: this girl tried to, you know, failed the final, and
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: she offered me sexual favors. And I had to tell her, no, what,
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: what is going on?
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Why are you telling us? Yeah. Um, he wants, he
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: wants other people. Oh yeah.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: He's putting, he's planting the seed. He's putting it out there.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. No, it, I just, I was never excited by,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I think part of it was my sexuality. I felt
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: like if I went to college, I would be forced
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: to confront who I was instead of being able to
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: just kind of like make a lot of money in
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: the private world and lie my way through life, which
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: was the plan up until I turned 25 and I
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: sobered up. But this is who you are. What? Like,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: what you realize, this is, I can't imagine, like, I
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: don't think. But I could have been a lot of
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: different things.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: I don't, that's not true.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: I believe so. You don't think so?
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: You could become different things, but this is the most
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: raw version of you.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Perhaps.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: Like, I could be, this is me. I could be
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: less fat, but I'm basically who I'm supposed to be.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like, I'm not, like, yeah, you could have, like,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: all the other versions would have been, like, false avatars
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: or whatever like you in a business environment or you
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: in a academic environment perhaps i just.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: Like to play around with the ideas of you know
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: life going another way.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah look i mean the past is the past and
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: uh is it is the past is it or.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Is everything available at the university of austin i just
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: wait is all this because rogan just moved to austin
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Why is it the University of Austin? What is this craziness?
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: By the way, let's address that for a minute. What
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: in God's name is this? I know Lonsdale lives there
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: and Friedman might. What is this? Why are we constantly
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: jerking off Austin?
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: Well, Musk is also there and they're trying to get
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: on that train.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's kind of what it does seem like.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: Musk's got a lot of money.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: That's a good point. They're seeing how somehow this relates
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: to what he's doing.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm assuming that Tesla hires people sometimes at MIT.
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: RIT's also a good school. Things like that. Wait until Musk.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Hires no one from the University of Austin. My point
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: is this.
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: There's going to be a class of people who don't
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: do that well in school, high school. They go to
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: their parents, look, Tesla's, Musk is there. You send me
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: to the University of Austin. I spent a couple years networking,
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: meeting these guys at bars, doing coke in the guest
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: station with them.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: I get a connection.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of ways of skinning.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: This calf, Dad. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. I just play
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: around with the idea that if I had gone to college,
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I would have had maybe a little bit of a
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: different life. You never do that. You never look back
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: and go, what could have been... Look, I think about it. What?
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: I'm not a regret-driven person. No, I shouldn't. You can
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: argue I'm the biggest candidate of regret.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you're the biggest candidate of regret. Okay,
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: that's a crazy thing to say. But let's, for a minute, speculate,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: think about an alternative life. Yeah. Describe it. Visualize it.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: You know, I applied to SUNY Purchase for the film program. Okay.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: But I didn't realize how, it was more competitive than NYU.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: I didn't get into the film program.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: That seems insane, but. There's less people. There's less spots,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: you know. Okay. But let's walk it out. Point is,
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: they did.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: Offer, like, you can go to a regular school. We'll
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: accept you into the school. Because I had to go to, like,
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: an extra interview for the conservatory.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: And you said no. I was like, look, I want
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: to do film. You said, hey, fuck you.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: So I went to Hofstra for a year for film.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Bad. Bad, bad, bad move. So your whole thing is,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: why don't you stay home? But staying home is horrible, usually.
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: It wasn't great. I had to have a job. It's
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: not a good idea.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: No, it wasn't great. I think about that. Here's why.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: Let me break it down for you. In Long Island,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: this is why you can't live at home. Your parents
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: want you to fail. This is the reality. Your parents
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: in Long Island are deeply invested in creating an environment
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: that makes it more likely that you will fail. Right. Truly.
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: I wasn't allowed to go on my dad's car insurance
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: because that's why I didn't have assigned risk.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: Yes. 500 a month is crazy. They want you to
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: die and fail. Listen. If I asked to take like
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: a car to the library to print something out for school,
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: my aunt would be like, you gotta get in that
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: car and you're gonna kill someone. They're gonna sue, they're
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: gonna take the house. There's just this idea that leaving
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: your home is essential because then your parents, who've spent
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: their entire lives just trying to destroy you knowingly or unknowingly,
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: can't affect you as much. Right. That's the way I
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: look at it. I agree.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: Look, I mean, I think my parents had it in
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: for me less than yours.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: I don't think they helped you. They meant well. Sure.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: And.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think they hurt... I don't think
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: they hurt you. I don't think they were... Like, I've
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: heard no evidence that they were hurting you, but I don't...
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Overprotective in a lot of ways. Yes.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: I was kept in a bubble to a certain extent.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: I believe you didn't say it until way later in age.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, from what I know about your history,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: it could have went better. Sure. It could have went better.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: That's all.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: Look, maybe I was shooting, you know, a little.
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: If I went away to school, I wouldn't have had
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: to have a car and sit in traffic on the
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: way to Hempstead every day.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah, I probably wouldn't have.
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, the first year of school at Hofstra, I
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: spent a lot of time just going to the video library.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: They had this weird little room with four 13-inch TVs
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: with the combo VCR. I spent most of my first
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: year of school there.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Smoking weed on the top level of the National Community College.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, the Roosevelt Field Mall, the top level of
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: their parking structure with a kid named Kenny and another
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: kid named Bunz. Yeah. And then we would get the
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: Ranch One chicken and cheese. Right. Amazing. I would. Amazing.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: Instead of going to the Collegiate Suffolk, I would go
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: to Costco and eat the food court.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: Yes. I mean.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: You eat the whole food court. I would have chicken bacon, pizza.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: This is what I mean about. Those were our comfort zones.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: That was your comfort. Costco was your comfort zone. That's
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: where you were home. You felt like you were home.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: When you ate that chicken bake, when you walked into
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: Costco without a family, without anyone to feed, without any
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: type of list of groceries to get, and you sat
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: down in the middle of the day and ate a
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: chicken bake, you were home.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: Don't forget, you have to like... Show your ID. No,
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: I had a membership.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, actually, I didn't even. But I would just beeline
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: into the exit when people are watching you and they go,
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: I'm just going.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: To the food court.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: They were just like, I was just like, rush past them.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So I was. What is the Costco chicken bake?
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: Uh, it's, it's like, it's like a patient, like a
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: hot pocket with chicken, like a, like a chicken pot pie,
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: the hot pocket kind of situation.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: What I mean about this is this is not the
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: college experience. You see what I mean? Yeah. Me getting
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: high on the, at the top level of a mall
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: parking structure and you eating a chicken bake at Costco. Right.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: We're not growing in anything socially, intellectually, spiritually, uh, I.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: Mean, I was listening to audiobooks at the time.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: It isn't. Don't. I had such regret. I had a friend.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: I had a best friend once named Joe Clark. We're
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: not that friendly anymore. We talked when I was living
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: in Palm Springs. Sure. We chatted briefly. And I wasn't, like,
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: his brother died tragically in a car accident.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: I wasn't really there for him.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: But, like, I came out of the closet. He kind
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: of wasn't there for me. Like, we were just not.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: You just grow apart. Right?
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: So we have here behind this door it is joe.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Clark but what my point was that he went from
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: national community college to cornell which was a good... It's
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: a big step. It's a big step. Yeah. And I
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: went into the mortgage industry and I had such pangs
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: of regret and I felt so insecure that he was
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: at Cornell and I was a fucking loser that he
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: was able to... Now, now let's be honest. I think
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: I've evened it out quite a bit and then some.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: And then some, let's be honest. He's just a lawyer.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Fuck Joe Clark. Fuck him.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: He's just a lawyer. And I know the vast majority
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: of the staff at the University of Austin. That being said,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: I still love Joe. I'd like to be close with
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: him more. Because he's an interesting little guy. But the
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: point is that... Didn't you ever feel inferior because you
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: didn't go to school?
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: No, I always had a overinflated, perhaps, sense of like,
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: I would be like cutting class at the Costco, but
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: listening to The Walt of Nations, an audio book. So
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: it's like, you know.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: But that's, this is why you're fascinating. Let's almost delve
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: into this. Yeah. Because this is truly fascinating. Right. It's amazing. Yeah.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: It's almost like if there was a character that summed
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: up to the decline of the American empire, okay? You're
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: in a Costco that you shouldn't be in. You're not
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: feeding a family. You're listening to the Wealth of Nations audiobook,
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: which probably pertains to something you're learning. And you're interested
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: in things. You're interested in the why this all works
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: the way it does. Why does this 10 gallon jar
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: of mayonnaise, how does this work? What's the markup? The
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: vision of labor. All of that. Now, you yet don't
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: apply that knowledge.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: It's so interesting to me. That's the fascinating thing about you.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I always had grandiose. But you're brilliantly funny.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: Thank you. And here's a part of the problem. I
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: always had grandiose, like people, when I was making movies,
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: I have a few failed feature length films. And people go,
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: why'd you make a short movie? It's like, I can't
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: sell a short film. Now, to be fair, YouTube wasn't
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: really around back then. So, like, now it seems common sense.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, make a little short.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: When were you making them? Right around the Iraq War.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: But it was around.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: No, YouTube came out in, like, 05, 06. Okay.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: Which is kind of when I was starting to wrap
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: that up. Gotcha, yeah.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: It just missed the YouTube train. I mean, it was, like,
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: something called Adam Films. You could have done stuff. But
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: I felt... To be critical of myself, I felt like
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: I was too good to make short films or it
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: just didn't appeal to me. So I'm trying to wrangle
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: people I'm not paying with no money and maxing out
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: on a couple of credit cards to make like a two,
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: like an hour and a half movie, which is insanely,
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: even if everything goes well, it isn't even gonna be good,
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: but the logistics of even getting it done. So that's
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: the kind of thing I did a lot. I had
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: these grandiose ideas Instead of just putting the work.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: In and like, you know, and learning over time.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: Like, you know, I'm reading the world of nations instead
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: of like, you know, going to economics class. I'm fucking,
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: you know, it's like, I did get my shit together
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: at one point and doing paralegal stuff.
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: If you had graduated.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: I got into Stony Brook. I went there for a semester.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: And then I just stopped going to class to become
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: a photographer.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: If you went to SUNY Purchase. Yeah. I feel like, yeah,
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I agree. What is the version of you that you
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: think would have been a filmmaker? Um, If things just
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: went well, what do you mean? Like, I think of
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: myself and I say, I could say the version of
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: me that's successful at business is not a happy version
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: of me. Sure. But it's a version of me that
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: I can approximate. Like, I can draw lines around it
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: and go, that's what it would kind of look and
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: feel like.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: What is a version of you that... like, went the
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: film route.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: I tried to. Right.
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, like, you mean, like, went to film school?
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: I just did, like, I went to Hofstra. He's part
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: of the problem with me. I'm really bad at, like,
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: little things.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: Like, showing up on time to meet with your advisor
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: to get classes before they close out. I didn't do
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: it in my freshman year, and then, like, you know,
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: before freshman year, and then, like, in my freshman year.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what's funny? So by the.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: Time I met my advisor and I got around to it,
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: he kept telling me, keep going. And I'm like, fine,
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: it'll be fine. And I could finally meet with him.
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: You were a big idea guy. Well, yeah, I finally
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: meet with him. He's like, well, you didn't do any
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: film classes your first year. You probably won't do it
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: your second year, maybe your third year. And I'm like, well,
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: fuck this.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: Right. When I went to the Nassau Community College advisor
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: and he would sit down and I'm like, I'd like
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: this class.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: He goes, that's full. He goes, you have to go
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: to this class. You have to go to that class.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Why was it full? Because you didn't show up on time.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't show up.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: On time because I was out there doing drugs.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: Same idea. So it's like, you know, I never learned
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: self-discipline in a cohesive way.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: Do you think people like us, had we learned self-discipline,
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: it would have hindered the type of things that we do?
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Like if I had learned self-discipline, I was able to
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: discipline myself. Yeah. Would I have done, would I have
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: been what I am? No, no. Right.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Your entire existence right now.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Correct.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: Which is a great existence.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it's fine. It's not that great. Well, I
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: have material things. Yes. Right.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: I love some material things.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: You'll get some. Yeah. But then you'll realize they don't matter.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: I know. I want, I want to realize that.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah. The point is, the point is like, but whatever
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: you have is like, it's based on your kind of
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: whirling dervish kind of like you're, you're, you're always floating around. You, you,
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: you're mercurial. You change on the dime. It's what makes
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: you funny. It's part of what's part of what it's,
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: it's part of the package. But if you were sitting
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: around like, you know, and like, you know, no, we
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: got like, you're like, you're spontaneous. You're, you can be erratic.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: These are the things that may, I sit there.
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: Uh, uh, I look at compare me to you and
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: I'm not like a big pussy or anything, but I'll
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: fucking cause they're going like, Oh, you're free.
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: I do this.
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get canceled. I don't actually think it
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: out of my head, but there is that less. I'm like,
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: I like to think of myself as a crazy man.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: And then I start yelling at someone. I do start
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: yelling at people at stores. Uh, I get, I, I
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: try to get into fights sometimes, but like, I'm not
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: as like free.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. As you, for instance. I'm more free.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: And I don't yell at people at stores, usually.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's... I've yelled at a few people
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: at stores, but there's not much.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: I don't mean, like, clerks.
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: I mean, like, other customers.
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: Right. No, no one's accused. But see, even then, when
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: you're making that distinction, you're afraid of getting cancelled by
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: some Marxist who's like, you're yelling at the.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: Proletariat or whatever. And you're like, no, I'm actually yelling
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: at other.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: I started screaming at an old woman once because she
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: was giving shit to the guy at the post office. Yeah.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: And I just started saying... I started screaming, shut the
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: fuck up. And she's like, yeah, yeah. And she's on
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: her side. I'm like, no, you fucking bitch.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: Stop talking.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: And I started screaming and losing my mind.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. What is this? A scene out of the Grapes
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: of Wrath? Who's this for? At one time, I saw
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: this cop beating a guy. And I got in between him.
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: I don't think I sound great yelling like you should
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: get cancer with an old woman.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: No, what I'm saying is like. She's elderly. I just
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: like to play around with the idea of like, perhaps
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: it could have went differently. That's all. Sure.
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: Things could have gone differently.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: But I got Lucy. That's great. I'm happy.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: And I told you. I got the podcast.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: I think you should move to Austin.
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: I'm making moves to do that.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: Because I've said nothing but positive things.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: Look, I've never.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: You were like the ambassador to Austin.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah. I like the two restaurants and
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: the university. The new university.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: Do they have like a pizza hut?
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, they have all of that. Here's the thing. You
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: would kind of fit in. Sure. Because... There's a lot
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: of homeless there. That's a big part of it. But
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: more than just aesthetically. Right. You could get into the
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: life that even it would be harder for me to
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: get into of like... Hunting and woodworking. Oh, I would
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: like that. Do they actually have that there? Oh, you
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: can do it. Okay.
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: I thought they didn't really do that there.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: No. If you live out where I'm telling you to
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: live 20 minutes out, I'm telling you the hunting and
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: the crafts. Maybe. Yeah. I don't get involved. But the
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: point is like.
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: We should fish sometime.
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: No. Maybe. Go to Florida. Yeah. We're going to do
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: that in Texas. I don't like lakes. Sure. What are
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: we doing? But my point is, like, there is a
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: life that you might like.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I like the outdoors. I like the idea of it.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: I'm an Eagle Scout. That's true.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: I have a fishing mirror badge or a woodworking mirror badge.
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: I'm stacked with mirror badges. So it's like.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: I just don't think this... I don't think we should
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: dismiss this University of Washington because maybe... There's a world
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: where we go back to college and become the things
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: we were meant to be.
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: Where Barry Weiss accepts us into her bosom and embraces us.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: Can you picture a moment where... Me and you are
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: getting diplomas and Barry Weiss is softly crying, looking at
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: us because she's so proud. Right. What are we majoring in?
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: Who cares? Do you think they're going to ask that?
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Do you think that's what this is about? We're majoring
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: in the fearless pursuit of truth. Have you not paid attention?
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: It's like a YouTube seminar.
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: Whatever. David Dobrik's teaching how to fucking not rape. Who cares?
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: Make sure you cut clips and add subtitles and put
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: them on Twitter.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Right. Listen. It's a philosophy subtitling class. So when I
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: added up what I pay every month for cable plus
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: a premium channels on top of what I pay for
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: on-demand streaming services, I was shocked. Man, it was like
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: a lot of money, hundreds of dollars. I wanted to
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: trim my TV and streaming budget, but what would that mean?
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: Giving up a bunch of shows, channels, movies I love? Nope,
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: not with Philo. This is a really cool thing. Philo
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: was created by TV lovers for TV lovers. Here's what
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: I get for just $ 25 a month. 60 premium TV channels.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: A massive on-demand library of top-tier beloved shows and movies
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: to watch anytime. I want unlimited DVR, the best and
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: biggest in the industry that lets me save up shows
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: for a year. I can stream Philo on up to
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: three devices at the same time. Philo is super easy
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: to set up with no hassles or contracts. Add what
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: you're paying up for TV and streaming. Brutal. Philo gives
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: me totally better TV experience for $ 25 a month. So
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: what Philo does, for anybody that's wondering, is it really
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: goes and grabs 60 premium channels, a ton of streaming content,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of the hot shows, almost all of them,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: probably all of them, wraps it all together, okay? And
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: you pay like $ 25 a month instead of spending hundreds
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: of dollars a month. So I asked my.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Friends at Philo if I could offer you guys a
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: special deal to try Philo.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: And they said, of course. So I got you 25%
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: off your first two months. Go to philo.tv slash Tim Dillon.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: That's philo.tv slash Tim Dillon. It's a much better way, okay,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: to do this. So you do not have to spend
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: hundreds of dollars. All these life hacks are really important
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: if you don't want to spend a crazy amount of money.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: You just switched to Philo.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I love it.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 4: Much, much better.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: It's great.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like Philo dough. You know, Philo dough
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: is a very thin dough.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 4: Actually, I don't know that dough.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: Well, Philo dough is a thin dough that you make
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: like the croissants and stuff. It's very flaky pastry. But
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: this is a service where you're getting all the streaming channels,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: all the streaming content and the premium channels. You're paying
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: $ 25 a month as opposed to paying several hundred dollars.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 4: A I was spending like $ 175. It was stupid. I
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: was spending crazy.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: It was stupid. Yeah. But now you're streaming to file on.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 4: I'm saving a lot of money now.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: And you can stream it on three devices at once.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: So who's losing? Not me. Not you. But the big
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: media is losing.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 4: That's right.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: But you're not losing.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 4: The Murdochs are losing.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: Not me. They're losing. I love games. Don't you?
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 4: I love games.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: I am the versus game, and we're going to do
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: it the Tim Dillon way. Here's the deal.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: Versus is a game, and it is a fun game,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: and what it allows you to do is make predictions.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: I assume many of you know the answer to these questions,
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: and right now there's an opportunity to make money on
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: your knowledge. Look no further than versus game. It's an app.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: A lot of people I know are talking about it.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: A lot of them use it. It lets you win
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: money for being right. Imagine a social media feed where
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: every video is a question with just two possible answers.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: You can play these questions for real money against other people.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: You can vote on each poll for free. You can
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: also play the game anywhere from $ 1 to $ 100 per question.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: There's no odds. It's just one versus one, you against
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: someone else. You can bet on anything, literally anything. Versus
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: we'll even find someone out there to match your bet
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: or your money back. Swaggy Boy Q is asking whether
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: NFL player Henry Ruggs' Dewey sentence resulting in a death
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: will have his prison sentence announced by tomorrow. So you
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: could ask anything. You could say, what kind of shirt
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: is Kyle Rittenhouse going to wear to court? You can
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: even make your own games about anything on any topic
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: that people will bet on. You get a cut. So
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: the more people play, the more you get paid. So
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: you've got to do something that has an immediate kind
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: of answer, right? Or within a certain period of time, right?
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: There are 7 million users. They've given over $ 16 million
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: in prizes, right? You can bet on anything. And when
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: the answer is, is Ghislaine Maxwell going to be convicted?
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: And when the answer happens, you either win or lose.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: And people are really winning and winning a lot of money.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: And I'm excited about it because I like making predictions.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: I've made a lot of really predictions that have come true.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: When I said music will be a big jiggling ass
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: and then Lizzo performed in front of a big jiggling ass...
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: at the American Music Awards, I really make predictions, and
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: these predictions come true more often than not. It's scary
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: how accurate I am.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: You kind of predicted COVID, remember?
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: Yes. My predictions are scarily accurate, okay? Scarily. And that's
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: why I think I can make a lot of money
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: with the versus game. I just have to find the
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: right games, and you can bet with me or bet
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: against me, but versus game is a way to earn
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: money by being correct, and I'm never wrong. So I
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm going to end up being the Jeff
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: Bezos of the versus game.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: We're going to come up with some cool games and
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: get people involved.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: But it's easy. So pull out your phone and go
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: to the App Store and download Versus Game right now
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: and play my bets. The Versus Game, one word with
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: no space. They'll even give you $ 5 towards your first
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: bet with the offer code TIM. That's V-E-R-S-U-S-G-A-M-E, offer code
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: TIM for $ 5 towards your first bet. That Versus Game
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: offer code TIM, T-I-M. You know, we could do, like,
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: when will Whitney Cummings be found in a bathtub? Like,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: a fun, you know what I mean? Like, fun. Yes, yes.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: Alex Warren from TikTok is asking if Netflix will renew
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: the Hype House show for a second season by December 20th. Well,
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: it hasn't even premiered, right? But that's a, you know,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: people can ask anything. You know? Mm-hmm. Radar Online is
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: asking whether Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott will announce a
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: divorce by November 30th. You can play any game you want.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: Someone's private life, it's a game. The future of someone's family,
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: it's a game. Everything's fair game on the Versus app game.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: It's fun. It's fun. They're not going to know about it.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: It's fine.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: Will someone's cancer come back? It's on the versus game.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: It's fun. It's a fun game. You know? Will the
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: American system of government collapse within 36 months? You can
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: win money with that. You might win money. You might
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: win a few bucks with the versus game. And we're
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: going to do some games. What about you? Maybe people
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: will start asking, will Ben leave the show? Will Ben quit? What?
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, the immediate one is like, will Ben kill Tim?
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: Will Ben's wife kill Tim?
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: Neither one of you are going to probably kill me, but,
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: you know, it'll be interesting to see what, you know,
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: what YouTube have cooked up. So, I mean, just download
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: the Versus game. It's very important, you know. There's 7
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: million people doing this. It's backed by luminaries such as
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: Mark Pincus, Kevin Hart, Will.i.am, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Mark Burnett, Josh
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: Richards from Sway House. Dude, they write Josh Richards from
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: Hype House. He's from Sway House. People are idiots. The
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: Winklevoss twins and Peter Thiel. Look at that. Wow. What
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: a crew.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 4: We know the Winklevosses.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: Yes. They were so lovely in that episode. They gave
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: one-word answers for an hour. And then me and Jake Paul,
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: they talk about Ethereum, which was a lot of fun, actually.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: And Peter Thiel, who started Palantir, and you know they're
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: on the up and up. So, you know, versus game.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: It's a good game. The horrors of the world, you
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: can bet on them now. Instead of trying to fix
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: them or believe that your elected representatives may one day
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: change the laws to make them less likely to happen,
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: you can bet on things happening. You know? When will
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: we be required to have another COVID booster so we
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: can go outside? How soon will the secret prison start?
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: At what point will the camp rollout happen? And who
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: will go in first? These are all fun games to
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: play on the Versus app right until the phone is
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: smacked out of your hand by the military loading you
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: onto a truck. Anyway... Versus game. Go download it.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 4: I wanted to do the guy's GoFundMe too that reached out.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, the guy who had the aneurysm? Yeah. Okay, so
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: can we talk about that? Do you have it?
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 4: Yep, I got it right here. So this guy reached out.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 4: And he wanted to pay for an ad, but.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: Of course we're not letting him pay.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: No, we're not letting him pay.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: You know, he's lucky. His brother's lucky. He had symptoms
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: of an aneurysm. He was able to get it drained.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: That's very rare.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was his cousin.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: It's very rare.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: That you have symptoms of something like that before it becomes,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of a fatal event, a brain aneurysm.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: And so the guy's 28 years old?
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so he said, you know, we don't have any copy.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 4: This guy's name is Joshua.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: Joshua.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 4: Uh, nothing specific to mention other than we need all
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 4: the help we can get. The final building will likely
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 4: be hundreds of thousands after.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: This fucking, I'm telling you right now, I'm in the
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: healthcare system is so fucking satanic in this country that
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: as much as I hate these lefty fucking weirdos, that
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: make you wear the masks, it's like, I just believe
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: that it's such an evil to have a healthcare system
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: that just completely destroys your life because you had a
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: blood vessel pop in your brain. Right. I mean, it's just,
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: it's like disgusting. But that's where we're going to help
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: this guy out.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 4: Tell- So I'll put a link in the description, obviously.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: What's this guy's name? Kyle Rittenhouse?
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 4: This guy's name is Nick.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: Nick.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 4: And we're trying to help with the assistance here. We're
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 4: trying to raise about $ 60, 000 here.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: It would be good if you guys could donate to this.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: This guy's a good dude. He had symptoms of a
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: brain aneurysm. They said he had a massive one. And
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: they were able to, he went in for surgery, right?
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: Can you read it, Ben? Yep.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 4: So we are raising money for Nick's medical bills and
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 4: cost of living while he's not able to work. On
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 4: the morning of October 27th, he suffered severe symptoms as
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 4: a sudden increase in body temperature, vomiting, severe headaches. He's
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 4: only halfway through his battle, a recovery period estimated to
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 4: last two weeks in the hospital, at times painful, especially
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 4: in the beginning. He has health insurance, but will still
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 4: be responsible for a hefty percentage of his treatment and
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 4: stay at the hospital. In addition, the cost of living
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 4: and support his family is not something that can be
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 4: put on pause. So he has kids, he has a family,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: it's a whole thing.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: How do we help this guy? I'm going to donate money.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: It's a GoFundMe.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 4: It's a public GoFundMe.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, so what is the GoFundMe? Because I want everybody
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: that's listening to this show, if you can, donate some
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: money to this guy. Let's really show this guy that
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: we can help him out.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 4: I will pin the comment on the YouTube channel, and
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 4: if you're listening on Apple or Spotify, it'll be in
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 4: the description at the top above the description, so you
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: can't miss it.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 4: And they want you to roast him, it says here.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 4: which I don't know how you exactly roast a guy.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: We're not doing that. It's like we're trying to help.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: I understand what people want. It's never enough, is it?
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 4: Well, they say here laughter is the best medicine.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, is it? Well, then don't. We won't give the money.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: How about that? No, I'm not going to roast on
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: command here. We're trying to help. Jesus Christ, roast him.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't know what the funny angle is here
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 4: about a guy having a brain aneurysm.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure there is one, but I'm not
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: finding it. I'm trying to help. I love that. Why
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: don't you roast him? Hey, pig, why don't you dance? Hey,
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: we're going to raise a little money now, okay?
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: How about that? Let's tug at some heartstrings. Why don't
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: you let me sell, okay? My brain works.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: I'll sell. Anyway, you know, I want to help this guy.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: We're going to help.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: We're going to raise money for him, okay? I don't
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: know anything.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: How am I going to roast him? I don't know
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: anything about him. What am I going to say? Oh,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: these guys' vessels don't work. Rose Comedy's dumb. It's for dummies. Okay?
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: Smarten up, please. Not enough. You try to help people,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: all you do is get bitten. Everybody just smacks you
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: in the face. It's never enough, you know?
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 4: He sent me three emails where he says it would
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 4: mean the world to him to be tossed in the
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 4: flames by Tim for a moment.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: By the way... I wonder if this guy's just a
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: dick and wants me to just roast this guy who
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: had a brain aneurysm.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: Is this guy like a dick or is he trying
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: to help the guy?
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: No, he sent the receipts on Facebook and stuff to
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 4: prove he's real and stuff.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: No, I believe he's real. I don't see there's anything
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: to roast here. I don't know what to do. Brain aneurysm?
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: More like, what do we do here? You know?
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 4: This is him. I mean, here's a picture of him
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: if you want to. Got any quick roasts on him?
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: Let me see. I mean, the guy looks young.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 4: It's about as far as the laptop can go right there.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: Dude, he looks like a kid. Yeah, he's in his 20s. God,
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: he looks like a young guy, man. Oh, he's got
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: a kid. Now, I'm not in the mood for the roasting, folks.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: I'm not in the mood. Got my own problems. Roast you?
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: Guy's sitting in a hospital bed. Roast him. No. No.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: Help him. Give him fucking money. The guy's name is
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Kyle Rittenhouse. He was experiencing flu-like symptoms and a rise
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: in body temperature, so he bought a gun with a
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: stimulus check and headed to Kenosha, Wisconsin. Now he's in
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: all kinds of trouble. Go fund me, Kyle Rittenhouse. But
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: they raised a lot of money for the Rittenhouse defense, right?
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 4: Yes, I believe it was... Wasn't it Owen Schroyer that
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 4: was raising money?
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: The guy from InfoWars? Perhaps.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 4: Or people were maybe raising money for him.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: Perhaps. I forget. There's several Owens it could have been.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: Hey folks, January 21st, Huntington, New York. I'll be at
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: the Paramount Theater coming back to Long Island, 7 p.m.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: On January 23rd, I'll be in Red Bank, New Jersey
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: at the Count Basie Theater, 7 p.m. How great is this?
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: Artist presale Wednesday, November 10th, 2021 at 10 a.m. Password fakebiz.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: This is the best way to get the cheapest tickets.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: Presale Wednesday, 11-10-2021, 10 a.m. Password fake biz, not case sensitive.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: And the on sale is Friday, November 12th, 2021 at
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: 10 a.m. Thank you. But my point is this. I've
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: never walked across the stage. Right. and got a diploma.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: I didn't, I got kicked out of high school, my
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: Catholic high school. Because you said you're going to blow
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: up a woman's uterus. Yeah, it was said just, of course,
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 3: but you know, it was right after Columbine.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: I did it, you know, I went to my graduation
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: in high school, but I'm not, that doesn't count.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't go to my high school graduation.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: I know you were thrown out.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 3: But I went to public school after that. And all
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: the kids were like, people liked me because I knew
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: how to build mystery. They're like, who is this guy
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: coming in here in the middle of senior year?
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 3: And I teased it. What did you say? I was
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: very coy about it. It was very much like, you know, uh,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 3: I didn't say I wasn't, I may have threatened a woman.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: No. Like what is it? I didn't leave with that.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: I may have threatened. I don't remember. Right.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 3: I do remember some of the cooler people, uh, kind
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 3: of like they took me to lunch one day at
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 3: the pizza shop they drove me to the pizza shop
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 3: and they blasted rap music and then we had a
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 3: nice dinner but I don't think I made a great
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: impression at the pizza lunch because that didn't keep going
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 3: on I think someone was cold and sick that day
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 3: so I got his spot But the point is, I
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 3: wasn't just sitting there alone. I mean, I did sit
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 3: alone in the cafeteria on purpose. But they were all saying,
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 3: why don't you come to graduation?
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: I barely went to the school. But I could have gone.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: But I didn't.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: And I do wonder.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 3: I've never held a diploma in my hand.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: Should we remake the movie L.I.E. where we play every part? Yes.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: You know? Yeah. Either me or you.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: Is playing every part of the movie L.I.E.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: With Brian Cox.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 3: Could we get Brian Cox to play his part?
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: And Paul Dano. Probably not. Probably not. It was Paul Dano,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: wasn't it? Yeah. Oh, wow. He's good. He was a kid.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: That wasn't Paul Dano. Yes, it was. Really? Look it up.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: He was the main kid? He was the main kid. Oh, wow.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: Look it up, Ray. Mr. Film Buff. I mean, I
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: saw the movie once.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 3: It was disturbing.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: What was disturbing about it? It just had a very...
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: It had a very.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, there was some child fucking going on, right?
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it wasn't even child... Like, I agree that
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: the premise is completely disturbing about, like, this pedophile driving around. But, like,
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: to me, like... I don't know this accident statistics back
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: in the beginning. You're like, it kills everybody. It was
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: an eerie, bleak movie. Is that what? Yes. On Long
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: Island Expressway. There's lanes going west. There's lanes going east. Yeah.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 3: And there's lanes going straight to hell.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 2: The character of the father was amazing going to jail.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: Everything was disturbing about it.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: It was a vibe to that movie. It was a very,
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 3: it almost felt like they were promoting pedophilia.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: Did it feel like that? No.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's a pedophile movie. I'm just saying
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 3: it didn't feel like... It almost.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: This is what it did feel like. It felt like saying,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: parents in Long Island are so bad, you might as
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: well just choose a pedophile. That's literally what it was saying.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: That's someone who spent like five minutes in Long Island
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: and went, you know what? The best thing to happen
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: to these kids would be a pedophile. Right.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 3: That is Paul Dano, by the way.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: I know. I didn't realize. But... I'm just imagining a
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: spring years from now. Yeah. When there's no more COVID. Right. Okay.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: In six months.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 2: And Heather Hying is handing you a diploma.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And Christina Hoff Summers. Andrew Sullivan or Katie Herzog
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: or Lex Friedman or David Mamet.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 3: David Mamet?
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's involved too. Is he? He's involved. Lawrence Summers
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: is involved. Wait, Glenn Gary guy's involved? They're all involved.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: It's going to be big.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 3: Why did Mamet get into this? This guy's got a career.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: What's he doing? No, because you always underestimate how far
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: the other side's gone. You don't understand how crazy the
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: other side is. The woke? Yes. Yeah, but he's a
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: legitimate filmmaker. Yeah, but that doesn't exist anymore. They're not
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: letting anyone make legitimate films.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 3: I guess he hasn't done a movie in a while.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 3: I didn't love Heist.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: My point is that you carry water for the left.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't. I just didn't realize. I don't mean the
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: real left. I mean like these liberal power-seeking lunatics. Yeah,
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: I just thought he still had a career is my point.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: What I'm saying is that The University of Austin is
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: not without its problems. Okay? But in terms of this
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: is your new home?
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 3: Look, I am fully committed. to accepting a adjunct professor role.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 3: Perhaps, you know, what if I split off?
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. If I joined the University of Austin. Yeah. And
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: I open up something called the University of San Antonio
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: and I take like hardcore alt-right people. Like David Damago?
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: Like Owen Benjamin. Hardcore. Hardcore. Richard Spencer. Like the hardest
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: of the hard. Yeah.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 3: That's a move.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: It was a schism in the University of Austin. We
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: went our own way.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: You called the University of Austin at San Antonio.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: Tell people where they can support what you do.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: We have the podcast.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 3: It's really it's really hitting its stride this year. It's phenomenal.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, Lucy Steiner, we're just killing it every week.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 3: You should definitely tune in for that on YouTube or
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 3: wherever you get podcast comp. We also have a Patreon.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 3: I think Ben will put the link in the description.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: He always does.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 3: So you can get an extra episode every week for
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: that and support the Comp Pocket. So just check those out.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 3: At Ray Comp on Twitter and Instagram. Check them all out, please.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: Also, we're at the Beacon Theater. Yes. And we sold out. Yeah.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 3: We're very excited to be part of this.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: It should be very fun. We're going to do a
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: podcast soon. At the end of the stand-up. It's going
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: to be phenomenal. I'm excited. We don't know. It always is.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: But it'll be good. We make magic happen. It'll be exciting.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: What if we don't stop talking? What if we do
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: three or four? Should we just do it until people
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: walk out? See that? You want to talk about something
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: that would kind of be amazing?
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 3: There's a problem. We're living in a FOMO culture. How
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 3: many of these people will just stay because they're afraid
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 3: of missing something great?
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: Good point.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 3: And we just don't give it to them ever.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There's nothing great coming.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 3: And we start describing rations we've had.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: What if we get to the point where we're just,
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: we do 30 minutes, but where the tech's not working?
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: The tech's? Like the tech. Oh, right. So the podcast
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: isn't working. Oh, so you just don't hear it? You
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: hear it in the distance? You hear us? You just
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: hear anything. You don't hear anything. It's just like, yeah, so.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So I It was an abortion that I couldn't
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 3: pay for.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, I think there's something funny to the idea
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: of just Ben, like, running around losing his mind. And,
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: of course, we just play, you know, we know that
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: we can get the tech working if we want, but
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: we don't.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 3: Can we get a fake gun, but they don't know
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 3: it's fake?
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 3: That's a problem, right?
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: It would be amazing if we both killed ourselves at
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: the end of the show. It would be amazing. It
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: would be... What if we both killed ourselves and left
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: all of our money to the University of Austin? It's
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: an endowment. It's an endowment. Yeah. What if I just
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: put a gun in my mouth, okay? And I was like,
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: I'm leaving all my money. And you can barely hear me.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: It's an endowment for the University of Austin. Barry Weiss
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: will know how to spend it. Yeah. Barry Weiss will
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: know how to spend all this money. Goodbye. And then
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: I just blew my brains out. You'd be remembered.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, you would edge out Budge Wire, I think. Sure.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 3: You'd be the new Budge Wire.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: We're not going to have a guest.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 3: We're going to be on live TV, though.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: No, no one will care. You can't get anyone to
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: care about anything in this country anymore. You blow your
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: own brains out at the Beacon Theater. You can't even
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: get anything. And we're not going to have a guest.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: What kind of guest do you think? I don't know. Oh,
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: you mean for the podcast? Yeah, it'd be hilarious to
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: just have a guest. Can we get....
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 3: Like Murphy, Potter, Aston or New York socialite.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: They're not going to come on. Probably.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 3: Uh, we get criminal. Can we get Robert Blagojevich?
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: Here's what might be funny. Could we get Curtis Sliwa?
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: I think we probably could. There's something funny about Curtis Sliwa.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: He would be amazing. Did he get any votes? He
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: was a Republican candidate. So maybe not.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 3: I love that article on the day of the election
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 3: when he showed up with his cat.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 3: And then he was just screaming like there was a problem.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 3: He's like, arrest me.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: Arrest me. I want him to be mayor. Yeah, and
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: then the other guy, Eric Adams, who clearly doesn't live
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: in the city, was driving on the sidewalk. It's absurd.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: I wonder who we could get. I could get Curtis Lewa.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: I think we could get Curtis Lewa. Oh, yeah.
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: That's totally doable.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he just walks on stage with his cat. Can
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: he come dressed as a guardian angel, though? I think
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: he dresses like that all the time. Yeah.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 3: Did you see that commercial he had with the homeless guy?
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 3: Where he's like, the homeless guy's sobbing. And he's going like, oh,
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 3: because he's outside some mental institution. Going like, they're not
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 3: keeping track of these other people. They're letting them out.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 3: We got to put these people back in here. And
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 3: this homeless guy. shows up with no shirt, and then, like,
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 3: a bandana on his head, and he starts going, like, yeah, man,
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: and he's like, I can't, like, whatever, like, and screaming,
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 3: and he goes, it's not, he starts crying, and Cursley
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 3: was like, kind of puts his hand on his shoulder,
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: and he goes, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, like,
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 3: you know, they should, we should be taking care of you,
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 3: But the absurd thing is, like, they make this into
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 3: a commercial that I see on Jeopardy.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: Stern told me about this. He said it was amazing.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 3: It's the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: And he's like, Curtis Lee, what cares about the homeless?
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 3: You put him in a campaign ad.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: I mean. I just, I'm amazed. I'm amazed at a
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: guy who spent a good amount of his career inventing
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: fake crimes. By the way, Dirk... Would he do that? Oh,
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: Chris Leeway invented fake crimes. What do you mean? He
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: rescued people from pretend crimes. Really? Yes. He would set
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: up fake crimes and then say that the guardian angels
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: rescued someone. It was a complete fraud. Oh, wow. No,
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: you could look it up.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: He got caught like doing it?
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. He's admitted it. He's like, I
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: was younger. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 3: What was his end game with that?
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: He wanted to be like fucking the Gotham City. He
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: wanted to be Batman. I don't know. The guy wanted
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: to be like the Avenger running around New York City.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: He was psychotic. Wow. You going to talk about that?
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: I don't think he's going to come on. I think
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: he would. I don't think he will. He just lost
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 1: the mayor.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 3: What else is going on? He's not moving into... These.
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: People are so crazy. Okay? Like, you know the.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 2: What's the guy's name on Succession that he's going to
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 2: be president?
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: The son? The like... Oh, yeah. What's his name? Cam? Can't?
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: Not can. Conrad.
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 3: Conner.
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: Conner. So Conner from Succession, the nothing child, who thinks
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: he's going to be president. People like Caitlyn Jenner... And
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: people like Curtis Lewar, they're that crazy. They're like nuts. No, yeah,
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: they are.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 3: But Curtis Lewar is nowhere near Caitlyn Jenner level. He's
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 3: got nothing going on.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: That's true. Caitlyn has a lot more of a chance. Yeah.
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, like, she wouldn't do her show.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: Imagine, by the way, no, no, but imagine hearing that,
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: like an advisor sitting down with Curtis Lewar going, you
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: are nowhere near Caitlyn Jenner. Like, we can't even get you.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 3: Regardless of the Kardashian thing, Olympic hero.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: No, but I mean, in terms of electability, Caitlyn's much higher. Oh, yeah.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: Much higher. That's got to be amazing to hear. Caitlyn
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: is much higher than you. You have no chance. Who
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 1: are we going with? Caitlyn Jenner all day over you.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: You fucking loser. Yeah, I mean, Curtis Sliwa. Do you
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: think you'd ever run? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I think so too.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: I think I'll run. I want to run.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 3: I wonder if it's delusions of grandeur, but I would definitely,
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 3: I could see myself as being in another crap.
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: Well, it definitely is delusions of grandeur. But that's the
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: funny thing. Like if me and you moved like a
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: little shitty city, like Portland or something, maybe not Portland,
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: it's too left wing, but like somewhere we could kind
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: of win. I'd be the mayor of Cleveland. Yeah, we
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: probably could. Yeah. That's the shitty thing. You probably could.
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: That's how low rent America is right now. They're like,
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: no one wants to be the mayor of Cleveland. Right.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: It's the worst job. There's a few restaurants that are okay.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 3: I'd probably get to meet LeBron James once or twice.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe. There's nothing cool about being the mayor of Cleveland. No,
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: not much. That's what's kind of.
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 3: We've got problems in Cleveland.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 1: Huge. Nobody wants that gig. Yeah. So that's how you
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: know America's on its way out. Yeah. Is that being
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: a mayor of one of our major cities now, the
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: perks do not outweigh the problems. No. At all. You'd
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: much rather work at any other company.
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 3: That being said, uh.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: You got to work it. That's why.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 3: Look, there's definitely businesses in Cleveland that want you to
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 3: look the other way.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 1: Not a lot. Really? Not a lot. And let me
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: tell you this. This is why all the people doing
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: these jobs now are criminally insane. Yeah. Like, when you
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 1: look at, like, Marjorie Taylor Greene, they're like, there's nothing
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 1: cool about being a congressman anymore. No one gives a...
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: You can't get anything done. Who gives a fuck?
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 3: The grift is dead.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: The grift is over, so the people that are doing
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: it are lunatics. Right. People are like, why are these lunatics?
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like... There's nothing left. The carcass has been skinned.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 3: I think I can make my own version of the squad.
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you could too. What if you and
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: four really fat white guys were like out-progressive the squad?
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: The guts. Like if you were like four fat, like
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: three fat Midwestern guys became the new squad and you
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: were to the left of like Ilhan Omar. But our
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: catchphrase is- we've got guts. Yeah, like we've got guts.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: You go, no military, no police. Federal amendment banning the military,
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: banning police. I'd be like, I'm sick of these bitches.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: And you point to Ilhan Omar and say, I'm sick
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: of these bitches with their half measures. We got guts.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: Stop stealing our surplus value. It's just you and three
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: other guys, and it's just like two tons of fun.
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: The squad. What would they call you guys? The squawk?
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: The Squish. The Squish. The squad is being pressured by
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: the Squish. The Squish is four Midwestern gentlemen, all about
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: 450 pounds, who are incredibly progressive. They've endorsed things like
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: banning the military and all police. While the squad thinks
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: that a lot of what the Squish wants to do
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: is unrealistic, the Squish says that the squad is just
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: playing old dirty politics. You could be the spokesman for
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: the squish. Yeah.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 3: Delicious of grandeur.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: The squish. You say thin people are an attack on
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: fat people. The existence of thin people is an attack
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: on fat people.
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 3: I'm all about inclusiveness.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: Inclusivity. Inclusivity. Yeah. The squish. It's like, you just see
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: AOC being like, I think we've had a lot of
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 1: productive dialogue with the Squish. I think the Squish. The
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: Squish will not compromise with the Squash. Let me be
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: clear about that. We will not be countdown. We will
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: not be whaling. She's like, I understand where the squish
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: comes from, but I think politically, the squish has not
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: accomplished anything. Listen to me. The squad is politically irrelevant.
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 3: They're out of touch.
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: And they're under the boot of the squish. Squish. Just
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: four fat, lard-ass... This is communism now.
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 3: We're constantly replacing each other with new fat people.
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: People keep dropping dead.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 3: We're all like crooked coke heads who are fat.
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: It's like Rob Ford times. Communism now!
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 3: You start screaming. I was beat red screaming and sweating
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 3: into a microphone.
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 1: The morbidly obese anarchist known as the Squish. You're trying
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: to direct the Antifa, get them into traffic.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 3: Thomas Jefferson made Hitler look like a lapdog.
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: The Squish have endorsed removing all monuments from all federal
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: buildings immediately. Let's burn this flag. There's a campaign in.
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: A view outside of a Jimmy John's burning a flag.
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 3: Let it burn, you fascist pigs.
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a root. Yeah. It's a root.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 3: Look, honestly, if I told you 30 years ago that
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 3: some squad explained that to you, you'd laugh me out
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 3: of the room.
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. No, the squish is going to happen. The squish
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: could happen. And, you know, like the New York Post
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: will run headlines, squash the squish. I just think, hey,
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: I just think it could happen. Go to the University
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: of Austin. Sign up. Start your life. Start your life.
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: It's going to be good. Good night.