Latest / Sober Talk SA / Sober Talk SA - Kieley
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to sober talk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
- 0:03experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
- 0:06struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
- 0:101300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
- 0:19I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
- 0:21Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
- 0:24fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
- 0:27strengthen up with each other. They must solve their come
- 0:30problems and help with us to recoup from alcoholism.
- 0:34The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
- 0:37drinking. There are no Jews at fees for a
- 0:39membership. We are self support through our
- 0:41own contributions. A is not allied with any SEC
- 0:45denomination, politics, organization or institution.
- 0:49Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
- 0:53oppose any causes. Our primary pairs is stay soap
- 0:57and help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
- 1:00Thanks, Dennis. My name's Keely.
- 1:02I'm an alcoholic. Burly heads early birds is my
- 1:10Home group. But these days, these last
- 1:14couple of years of my sobriety, I'm rarely there.
- 1:19I, Yeah, it's the life of my, my choosing now is on the road and
- 1:27I, I, I've made lots of friends in a, a who also spend lots of
- 1:36time travelling between rallies and conventions.
- 1:41And it's just dumb wonders for my sobriety and I can't get
- 1:46enough of it. So I feel very fortunate for
- 1:48that today, for that situation to be able to do that.
- 1:53But it's certainly not how it started for me.
- 1:57In fact, it's, yeah, polar opposite to the to the life I
- 2:02lived before I got sober. And certainly toward the last
- 2:11few years of my drinking, I I really avoided people towards
- 2:18the end. I had a series of experiences
- 2:24where I was assaulted a couple of times and and I just
- 2:29gradually more and more just avoided situations where I might
- 2:36that might be difficult. And eventually, of course, every
- 2:40situation was difficult. And it, it's a yeah, yeah, it's
- 2:48it's it's probably a miracle. I I got any help it had to get.
- 2:53It had to be like that for me. It had to get bad enough that I
- 2:58became almost unrecognizable before I was desperate enough to
- 3:05admit what things were really like for me.
- 3:11And even with all of that of my world shrinking right down to
- 3:16very little except work and drinking, that it still took me
- 3:24a fair while of attending AI meetings and starting to let
- 3:31people get to know me in the rooms before I really became
- 3:36convinced I was an alcoholic. I was still very sensitive to
- 3:42the differences that I might have heard or seen in the other
- 3:47members and yeah, I did tend to get get stuck on that.
- 3:57But even with all that too, you know, what kept me in the rooms
- 4:04was I heard in other people talking about their story and I,
- 4:12I eventually recognised that if they could, if they could be
- 4:18that honest, then maybe I could too.
- 4:21And maybe, maybe this would work for me.
- 4:25Because I know I was just as terrified that AA wouldn't work
- 4:36for me. I was terrified of what was in
- 4:39front of me if I kept drinking as I was that facing life
- 4:47without it, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't see anymore
- 4:51how I was going to continue living.
- 4:54In fact, and I've heard this in the rooms and I'm grateful for
- 4:58it that people share it that, that I I was terrified of dying,
- 5:04but I didn't want to live anymore.
- 5:06You know, I was still looking for what seemed to be an easier
- 5:12way out than what a a was offering to me, but that that
- 5:18was the beginning really. And I, it was suggested to me
- 5:29within my first couple of meetings that I find somebody
- 5:36that who had what I wanted, who appeared to be living her life
- 5:43like something like I would I would want to use as an example.
- 5:48And certainly someone who participated in the fellowship
- 5:53in a way that I might want to copy and make my own until I
- 5:59worked out who I really was, if you know.
- 6:04So yeah, yeah, I did. I found I found a a person that
- 6:14was really helpful to me. She she encouraged me, but she
- 6:20and she was loving and gentle, but she was also pretty firm and
- 6:26she didn't give in. She I needed convincing and
- 6:33patient with patience in some areas, but other areas I was
- 6:38pretty keen to get going with and.
- 6:42And yeah, I feel very fortunate that I, that I was put together
- 6:47with her because yeah, yeah. It wasn't very long before I
- 6:57really felt like I had found a miracle, you know, something
- 7:04that I that I didn't believe was possible because not only did I
- 7:11never crave a drink again or ever since.
- 7:19Also, the as we started working through the big book together
- 7:24and working through the steps I did, I did feel step by step,
- 7:33the load that was on me, lightning and, and, and
- 7:41something that wasn't making any sense to me when I first came in
- 7:46suddenly became not obvious, but it, but it made a lot of sense.
- 7:53All of a sudden I could see my part and I could see the benefit
- 7:59of just looking at my part and taking my, my gaze and my, all
- 8:05my energy away from how other people were doing and just
- 8:10focusing on myself for a while and, and using her, her
- 8:18explanations on about how I might go about making amends for
- 8:26the, for the wrongs I had done. Because that wasn't a, a totally
- 8:31new concept to me. I know I've done a whole lot of
- 8:35I'm sorry, I'm sorry and, and poor me and wailing and begging
- 8:42for things to be back the way I I wanted them to be with family
- 8:47and friends and work. But course, I, I always thought
- 8:53I knew what I wanted, which was just to keep doing what I was
- 8:57doing and other people just to tolerate it, you know, and put
- 9:01up with it. But the fellowship of Alcoholics
- 9:06Anonymous not only has offered me up a program that I can keep
- 9:10coming back to as much as I want to or and that also it's given
- 9:19me something that I can share with other people.
- 9:25And it's suggested in there that if, if I want to keep all those
- 9:31benefits and the Peace of Mind that it that that process has
- 9:34given me, I'd best give it away. I'd best share it at every
- 9:40opportunity I can. And yeah, yeah, I can.
- 9:47I can say from my own experience that that has been the case.
- 9:56Another, another benefit of it has been that I've gotten a lot
- 10:02better at trusting my own decisions and being being more
- 10:16through through being a more trustworthy person with other
- 10:21with other people, particularly those who are important to me.
- 10:27Yeah, it's helped. It's helped me feel better about
- 10:30myself and my own decisions. So I find I I seek others for
- 10:38friendship now where I used to seek them for my own ends, you
- 10:43know? So I have something to give away
- 10:46today, which is probably a bit of a new concept for me.
- 10:50For someone like me, yeah. What about the God side of the
- 10:56program? Yeah, So before, before my
- 11:02drinking really progressed down in, in the last few years of my
- 11:08drinking, while I was still mainly kind of binge drinking, I
- 11:14guess I wasn't daily drinking until the last few years.
- 11:17But before then I was still pretty unhappy, unhappy in, in
- 11:26the, in my marriage. I was an unhappy daughter of, of
- 11:32parents who were causing me a fair bit of grief.
- 11:36And I was a bit of a seeker. And I did, I did seek out more
- 11:43than one religion for answers for, you know, And so I've been
- 11:54baptized twice in two, two separate places and christened
- 11:59in another and over, over my life, you know, and I'm only
- 12:03halfway through. And yeah, I won't say it was all
- 12:10bad because as you know, and I was glad to read that in, in the
- 12:14big book, you know, that we suggested we be quick to see
- 12:18where, where religious people might be, right, You know, But
- 12:23essentially none of that was addressing the true, the true
- 12:30'cause of my UN uneasiness, my disease, which was alcoholism.
- 12:37But this is way before I was, I thought, even dreamed that I was
- 12:42an alcoholic. So now Alcoholics Anonymous has
- 12:47offered me an alternative that I haven't been offered any in any
- 12:53of my other experiences in that I might want to choose a concept
- 13:02of a high power that that is my own, that that comes from
- 13:08myself. So I, that's, that's been a bit
- 13:15of a process, You know, I think it, I think my relationship with
- 13:20my high power and my spiritual practice has been something
- 13:24that's developed and deepened over my time being sober.
- 13:29And it's, it's probably one of the most important relationships
- 13:37that, that I've ever had. And I've seen, I've seen other
- 13:47members with, with lots of sobriety talk or I've heard them
- 13:54talk about how their concept of a, of a higher power might even
- 13:59change that. It might that that might even be
- 14:01a changeable thing. And wow, I don't know where
- 14:04else, what other outfits you can go to where that's where that's
- 14:08an option, you know, So it's a big job.
- 14:12My higher powers job is a big job.
- 14:15So it's, yeah, it's, it's worth that, that attention and careful
- 14:21consideration. And, and I don't think it's
- 14:26something I would have been able to come up with before I got
- 14:29sober because, yeah, yeah, I was still running very much on my
- 14:36own will. And I think I might have been
- 14:40tempted to create a higher power that may not have been using its
- 14:43powers for good. Yeah, yeah.
- 14:52Have you done any service? And I've got the Canon.
- 14:55I have I have the the 1st the the sponsor I'd I worked with
- 15:03the other woman in the rooms. What that was one of the things
- 15:08that that I really admired about her.
- 15:10She shared a lot about her service experience in a A and
- 15:16she'd done some incredible things that just blew my mind.
- 15:20You know, she'd been involved in, in introducing AI to other
- 15:32countries, third world countries where there where there wasn't
- 15:35an established fellowship and particularly for women in, in
- 15:40some countries and in in her time.
- 15:43And oh, that, that just appealed to me.
- 15:48And I wanted what she had, but I wanted at that when I first met
- 15:52her, I wanted to do what she did, you know, and that was
- 15:55before I got introduced to what goes in between that, that, that
- 16:01kind of responsibility. But she showed, she introduced
- 16:08me to an idea of serving as being something that is a is a
- 16:18bit of a privilege, you know, and that's that's I'm glad she
- 16:24introduced it to me that way because my, my career, my, my
- 16:32career way before I got sober was in education and training
- 16:38and management and, you know, and it yeah.
- 16:44So I've had this big skill set of being the expert that
- 16:48everybody comes to and the consultant, right.
- 16:53As a professional consultant. So, so wow.
- 16:56You know, it could have been a dangerous combination, but the
- 17:02the way this beautiful program is is that in order to be of
- 17:10service, I needed to have addressed that within myself.
- 17:18Yeah. So it's not so much about having
- 17:21all the answers and knowing all the stuff.
- 17:25It's more about being open and honest and willing to share your
- 17:30own experience and that that, you know, I watched how she gave
- 17:36that to me. She just shared all her amazing
- 17:41experiences with me and LED the way and, yeah, just didn't just
- 17:50encourage me without pressure, without pressure.
- 17:54And that someone like me needed that, you know?
- 17:58And so, yeah, I think about, I think about her example every
- 18:02day. We have local meetings for the
- 18:06full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00,
- 18:11Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
- 18:178:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at
- 18:238:00. There's a meeting at Devron Park
- 18:26at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a meeting in Salisbury at 7:00 and
- 18:31many of the meetings in the area.
- 18:35For details of your local meetings, please phone 1300
- 18:40double 22222. And once again, if anyone you
- 18:44know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
- 18:47Anonymous on 1300 double 22222. The website isaasa.org dot AU.