Latest / Take1.5 Podcast: Stories from the Messy In-between / When Everything Changes: Dr. Crystal Yi’s Breast Cancer Story 전문의 에게도 찾아온 유방암 그녀의 이야기

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When Everything Changes: Dr. Crystal Yi’s Breast Cancer Story 전문의 에게도 찾아온 유방암 그녀의 이야기 · Take1.5 Podcast: Stories from the Messy In-between

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To hear her daughter say that to me, that she knows that her
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mom's going to do well because she saw me survive this.
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Yeah. We have to fight for each other
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and encourage one another on through this because other
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people have to see that this is a very survivable disease.
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I guess my message is, is it's a hard to swallow when you get the
0:22
initial diagnosis, despite all the positive things that we've
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mentioned throughout the video. Don't think that it's wrong of
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you if you have those dark moments, because yeah, those
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dark moments are very real. Welcome to the Take 1.5 podcast.
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This is your host Minley. In North America, October is
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Breast Cancer Awareness Month to increase the awareness of the
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disease. Also to fund for research of
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prevention, testing and treatment of this very harsh
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disease that affects many, many women in America and all
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throughout the world. So today my guest is my friend
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Crystal E She joins us from Huntersville, NC.
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So welcome, Crystal. Thank you for having me.
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My name is Crystal. Yeah, I am a physician and yeah,
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I was first diagnosed in 23, so I'm two years out from my
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initial diagnosis now. You look wonderful.
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I feel good. You're just incredible.
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I am in awe Invited Crystal to just share about just basically
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personal experience. We hope that it will be
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encouraging to others that you know, if you're going through,
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you'll know that you're not alone.
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You're not going through it alone.
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And I think that's the biggest thing.
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I think the last statistic that I heard, it's one in eight
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females who will get breast cancer at some point in their
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lifetime. I didn't think it would ever be
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me because I just don't have that family history.
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But when I first found my cancer, I was 38 years old when
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I was diagnosed and without any family history, I thought that
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the mass I was feeling was just benign, was just something I
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could brush off. I would get my mammogram and I
2:00
could just move on with my day. But the imaging certainly came
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back concerning. And then and the biopsy was
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obviously cancer. And I remember the moment when I
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got the phone call, I was getting ready to operate on
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someone else. And you hear that news and you
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just have to push it in the back of your mind and deal with it
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later on. And I just remember just being
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very dumbfounded that this is obviously a lie.
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It's not true, but slowly the the diagnosis settled in.
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And I think the worst part was my diagnosis.
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And it's not, Oh my God, I have cancer.
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Every news after that was just bad.
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It wasn't just you have cancer. It was you have no positive
2:43
disease. It was you'll need chemo.
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You'll need radiation, you'll be in medically induced menopause.
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I just felt like my entire femininity being stripped away
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from me at that point and so it was a very rough go to in the
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beginning certainly. Yeah, I remember when I got that
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call, I was 4748, I had 4 little kids.
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I was driving to work and like what?
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What do you mean? Because like you, I don't have
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any family history of breast cancer at all.
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So I never thought do you can you take us back to that day
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when you got the call you're about to going to operate on
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someone else and what did the doctor?
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Say so. Remarkably, my doctor also works
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with me. She's a very good friend and she
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goes crystal, what are you about?
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To Are you busy and I tell her. Listen.
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If you're calling me at this hour, it obviously is bad news.
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Just give it to me. I have cancer, don't I?
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And she confirmed. And then I just went there about
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my day. And later that afternoon I met
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with her. I am in a situation, though,
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where I have healthcare and on top of that, I have very good
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insurance. And on top of that, I'm very
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well connected. And so everything was just very
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quick. I got to the imaging center
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literally the next day. I got biopsies.
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The next day I was seeing the oncologist.
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Next day. I would hope that we all fight
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for our patients the same way. But certainly I think because of
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my position, everything was much more expedited too.
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And so everything just came out very, very fast for me, which in
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hindsight I'm very thankful for because that's my personality.
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If I was allowed to just let this drag on, then that would
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have been much more difficult. But everything was just OK,
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let's go, let's go. Well, actually, you know, as a
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patient, that was kind of my experience as well with the
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oncology department. I think the medical staff really
4:33
expedite everything and really care for you so.
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I was very careful. Too, I found my lump just in the
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shower out of nowhere. But all of a sudden one day I
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remember I was very sick for a couple of weeks and then I was
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feeling a little bit better. I was in the shower just to get
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ready to go to work, but then I felt actually like a golf ball
4:53
size something a mess, right? And I said, oh, I didn't.
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I didn't. I never felt this here before.
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So dad reminded me, OK, I need to make an appointment to go get
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a mammogram. How about you?
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Like how did you find your lump? It was just something I felt
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also, and because I was so young, I didn't think much of
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it. I probably have noted it for a
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couple months before that. And the difficulty with younger
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patients like me is that we have dense breasts, which means it's
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just very firm and full versus older ladies who have a little
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bit more LAX press. And Asian too, right?
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Most Asians. Asians in general also have very
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dense breast too so my cancer didn't even show up on
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mammogram. I had to get an ultrasound
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separately to even see it and then because my age it got
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escalated to an MRI that really showed the full expanse of how
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big it. Was and then what stage were you
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at that point? Because that was node positive.
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That was stage 3. What does node positive mean?
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I have. Lymph nodes with cancer in it
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already, yeah. You and I have very similar
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diagnosis and treatment path. It was very good.
5:59
Also just on that note that I was hormone receptor positive
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with breast cancer, there's hormone receptor positive, your
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PR positive and then we also check for her too.
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And then I think the benefit of being receptor positive is that
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there's directed treatment for it.
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So I am if I were had can be thankful about one thing with my
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cancer is there's treatment for it.
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Gosh, you're so positive. That's great as a cancer patient
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in the oncology department and meeting so many different
6:29
doctors and everyone's explaining to me what I have in
6:33
their own special language. What what are you telling me?
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You know, what would you say to like a regular folks like me?
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Like what would be the? What would be a good way to
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understand like what's going on have?
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Someone with you so that there's another set of ears listening
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and then don't be afraid to ask questions even if you feel like
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it's the most dumb question or circle back.
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What did you mean by by this? I mean, what does it mean with
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this? Even with my medical background,
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there was a lot of questions that I had when I was meeting
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with the oncologist too. And so don't be intimidated by
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all the medical jargon. Fight for yourself, advocate for
7:12
yourself. Make sure you're getting the
7:13
appropriate understanding of your own disease, because never
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is it our intent for you to not understand, but we just don't
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know how the extent of your your understanding unless you make it
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known to us what you do know and what you don't.
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You mean the doctors, right? But what was your greatest
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hurdle? What were you feeling as a
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patient on the other side? The entire thing was such a
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hurdle. I, my God, I'm going to lose my
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hair. Oh my God, I'm going to be
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inducing menopause when you're node positive.
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Also, there's always the concern that they'll do a complete lymph
7:45
node resection at the time of procedure.
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And that was a huge hurdle for me too, because the biggest side
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effects of that is developing lymph edema and I didn't want to
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risk that. I'm a surgeon, I operate and I
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needed full access to my arm. Unfortunately, I ended up
8:01
developing it anyways, but it was just all these little side
8:05
things that wasn't congruent with my lifestyle at that point.
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That was just very, that was just very upsetting overall.
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And so you got the news. Were you the one who told your
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family? Knowing you, I could imagine
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going mom, I have cancer. So it is what it is.
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But like, how? What did you tell them and how
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did they? That's exactly how it would
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tell. Of course it's called.
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Cancer. I mean, because she knew I was
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getting the biopsy, she knew we were waiting for pathology.
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And then I let her know, yeah, it's it's cancer.
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And remarkably, she took very well, didn't think that she
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would take it as well as she did.
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And maybe it's because she just knew that she had to be a
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fighter for me and she just had to repress it.
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I don't know. But I didn't just tell her.
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I told everyone I knew. And the reason why I told
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everyone I knew is because in that moment, I knew I couldn't
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do this by myself. I needed to call and ask for
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prayer and ask for people to just think of me.
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I don't know if, you know, in Korean there's this like, phrase
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where you advertise your sickness or whatnot.
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In advertising my illness, I found so many resources.
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People say, Oh yeah, Oh my gosh. I have a friend that just went
9:17
through this. Let me connect you with them.
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And so I got connected with a lot of other people who had
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already gone through the experience.
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And it's not so much for me to glean upon their experiences so
9:28
that I have an anticipation, but it's just so I can feel for
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myself a reassurance that you can survive this and that
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there's people who are still alive, I guess, after the fact.
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Yeah. So I, I told everyone and
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everyone and you know, I told the entire church asking for
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prayers because I, I wasn't going to do this alone.
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That is such a good insight and such a wise thing to do.
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A lot of people want to hide it. I don't want to tell anybody.
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I don't want other people to feel sorry for me or whatever it
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is. Especially for Asian culture,
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you don't tell those things. I don't know if.
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There's a vulnerability when you let other people know of your
10:13
illness and you had mentioned people feeling sorry for you and
10:17
things like that. I wanted people to feel sorry
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for me. I wanted people to know that I
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had cancer and if I was feeling ill that day and not being very
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happy to see you or not being very receptive in conversation,
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it's because I just didn't feel good.
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I have cancer, so I just needed people to understand me.
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So I don't know why people have this vulnerability with their
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illnesses. It's not wrong for other people
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to come and help you. Certainly.
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Maybe we're just so attuned to having this strong, independent
10:52
type of of persona, but I think when you have cancer, that is
10:56
not the time. Felt out of control during the
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time I was going through cancer treatment.
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Maybe it's a little different for me because I had children
11:03
that like completely were depended on me, but yeah, I feel
11:08
super out of control, like there's nothing I could do to
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make this better. Yeah, I think and the point I
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want to make is not everyone's journey is going to be the same.
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Certainly your journey as a young mother with very young
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children and a wife versus me being very single and not having
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to care about anyone else. I think the journey is
11:29
different. But in the end, I think the
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message that needs to be reached is call on everyone that you
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can, because you can't do it alone.
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I still feel so thankful for all those who reached out to me
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during that time because it means a lot.
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It means a lot. So what was your journey like
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after your diagnosis? You surgery first or chemo
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first? Because my cancer was so far
11:53
progressed, I had to go through chemo first in hopes to
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downstage my cancer or to make it smaller.
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So it was 16 or weeks of chemo, 12 of which I worked through,
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and then I took time off to do the last regimen.
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And then you had my surgery and then it was like 13 weeks of
12:13
radiation. So I mean, that sounds a lot
12:16
longer than it actually was, but it was radiation afterwards.
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And then I went for a reconstruction the following six
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months after that. And then most recently, I had
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another procedure done just so I can help the swelling in my arm.
12:30
But even though it seems like it's never ending, I mean, you
12:33
just have to deal with it. During the course of chemo, I
12:37
obviously lost my hair. And at first it was devastating.
12:42
It was so devastating to lose the hair.
12:44
People can't imagine just brushing your hand through your
12:48
hair like this and just everything falling out at once.
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It was just so upsetting. And I just get a little teary
12:54
thinking about it. But after I lost all my hair, it
12:56
was the greatest thing ever. It was summer and it was high
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and it was like the most freeing thing.
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And then honestly, I walked out all the more without my hair
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because people were so much nicer to me too.
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I was, I'm standing in line and people would would move and they
13:16
would say, why don't you go first?
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Or I mean, honestly, people just clear the way or they I'm
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shopping and people are asking me, oh, can I help you?
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And Oh yeah, please, if you don't mind.
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Certainly it was. It drew a lot of sympathy.
13:29
But that which started out very and very upsetting turned out to
13:34
just be perfectly fine. I remember one incident when my
13:38
hair was, of course, all falling out and I was wearing wigs.
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It looked horrible on me, but I didn't know what else to do,
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right. My kids, my, my boys were young
13:49
at the time and they were scared.
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So I had to really like cover my head.
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But one time I was in my bathroom finding my own business
13:58
and there was a handy person at home and he didn't know I was in
14:03
my bathroom and he walked into my the master bathroom to check
14:07
something. I walked out of the bathroom
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very quickly. I was just sobbing.
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And I don't know if I was necessarily embarrassed, but
14:18
just sad that I was in that situation just because the way
14:23
he looked at me. Like he looked at you with pity
14:27
or just in shock or. Shock, probably.
14:30
Mostly Probably. It's more me of how I was
14:34
feeling myself. Yeah, at that time, I guess I
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was unaware how much my appearance meant for me.
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I don't know, Whatever. But no hair.
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And then I'm all like puffy because of the chemo and
14:47
steroids and everything, just looking and feeling terrible.
14:51
I think that really impacted me in a negative way of seeing
14:54
myself that way. And I think that's one of the
14:58
reason why it hits us a lot more too, because we're just, we take
15:02
time to do our nails to make sure our eyelashes are long.
15:07
And it's not necessarily vanity, but it's just how we identify as
15:12
females. But yeah, I get it.
15:18
For me, I just, I looked good bald too.
15:22
So yeah, you did. You really did.
15:24
You really did. I cannot believe you worked
15:27
through your chemo like ha, I mean, were you?
15:30
Did you have strength to even stand, to do, to operate of all
15:34
things? The first regiment taxol was not
15:38
too bad. I just felt tired the next day
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and so I needed to work. I, I could not not work because
15:45
I still needed to. I paid myself and my family pay
15:48
mortgage and all that, which is the hard part with cancer.
15:51
You wish that you just could stop everything and just take
15:54
care of yourself. But like you, you still had
15:57
family that you had to take care of children.
16:00
For me, I still had to work because I had patients that had
16:04
already scheduled for, for the OR and things like that.
16:07
But no, Taxol was very easy for me to handle.
16:11
The only real adverse effect was the hair loss.
16:14
But then when I went to the Red Devil, which is the other
16:18
regimen, that was tough. I I did you have to do the Red
16:23
Devil too. Yes.
16:25
Yeah. I still can't drink water to
16:27
this day because of it. And I can't drink anything with
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ice because it just it reminds me of it.
16:32
I like I'm gagging now even thinking about it because it
16:35
just made me so sick and made me into someone that I didn't even
16:40
recognize. I just went home after each
16:43
session, slept non-stop and wish I was dead because it was just
16:49
so so uncomfortable when I was on that regimen.
16:52
What were you feeling physically?
16:54
It was a level of, I think when you have the flu, people say you
16:59
it feels like you got hit by a truck.
17:01
With the Red Devil, it felt like I got hit by a truck.
17:04
It backed up and went over me again and it backed up and then
17:07
went over me again. It was just, it just was a level
17:10
of pain that you just can't explain.
17:13
Every part of you, every bone, and you just hurt.
17:16
Yeah, I'm on top of that. You can't eat.
17:18
So fun. It was not a good regimen.
17:21
Yeah, but was it necessary? I guess so.
17:25
My oncologist told me I had to do it, so I did it.
17:27
Bureau physician and you know about the side effects of
17:30
medication. It's very, very strong.
17:32
And I remember the nurse came into the the infusion room and
17:38
she was covered head to toe with this big syringes, with this red
17:42
chemical. And I'm looking at her going,
17:46
OK, you're covered head to toe with the mask and everything.
17:49
You're going to put that in my body.
17:51
Yeah. And I had like a anxiety attack.
17:54
Literally. Yeah.
17:55
Yeah. So.
17:56
Like. How they tell you every time you
18:00
flush, you have to make sure you're using your own toilet
18:03
because it will get excreted in your urine and then it will
18:06
evaporate and affect other people in your family and things
18:09
like that. But yeah, I I'm right there with
18:11
you. Yeah, this is radical, but some
18:14
people choose not to because all these things that they you're
18:18
poisoning my body and killing me.
18:21
What do you think about that? Like, I know it's a
18:23
controversial issue, but. Yeah, everyone is entitled to
18:26
their own choice, and it's unfortunate that that
18:31
misinformation presents itself in the way it does.
18:33
It is my desire and really encouragement that people will
18:39
actually trust the people who are studying the treatments for
18:42
this in the appropriate scientific manner versus the
18:46
holistic or the homeopathic things.
18:48
That is just conjecture. Like everything that we do in
18:51
the cancer realm is because there's data behind it versus
18:55
mushrooms or whatnot. It can cure cancer.
18:59
There's there's no scientific proof for it.
19:01
I really feel for those who have so much distrust with scientific
19:07
medicine that they would do this and then unfortunately they get
19:11
to a point where they can't come back because of cancers too far
19:14
progress. Do I think that chemo is the
19:18
only answer? No.
19:19
So to an extent I do agree. You need to be working out.
19:22
You need to be eating the right foods and that to that extent, I
19:26
do agree that's what you need to be doing for your own body so
19:29
that you can prepare yourself to receive all those.
19:32
But I really need to employ those.
19:35
Please just trust the people who are actually using scientific
19:38
data to treat you. It's a tough one because I don't
19:42
know about you, but when you have cancer and even just
19:45
speaking personally, people come to you with so many ideas, what
19:51
you should do and what you shouldn't do.
19:53
When you're in a position where you're already scared, already
19:57
confused, already conflicted, and all these people come with
20:02
so many different ideas, you just don't know what to do,
20:05
right? It's making matters worse.
20:08
I mean, I had to say, oh, no more.
20:10
I mean, because I got it got to a point where I was getting
20:13
angry. Can you relate?
20:15
Did people come to the Doctor too with those ideas?
20:18
People suggest just odds and ends here, not realizing my
20:22
profession, things like that. You had mentioned loss of
20:25
control earlier when we started this talk, and I think that's
20:29
what a lot of us needs to do. We need to be comfortable with
20:33
the fact that we do not have control over this and therefore
20:37
we need to rely on those who know what they're doing.
20:40
And so even though my position as a physician, like I, I knew
20:45
the insurance and outs, I mean, obviously I'm not an oncologist
20:48
or a radiologist or whatnot, so I don't know that regimen.
20:51
But I just, I just sat back and I was like, OK, I'm here.
20:54
You tell me what to do, where to go.
20:57
And that gave me a lot of peace knowing that there were people
21:00
who obviously were much better educated than I was in this very
21:04
cancer. And sure, this is what the data
21:08
says. That's what you're telling me.
21:10
Cool. I'm going to do what you told me
21:13
to do. And when do you have such a
21:16
thing? Like you said, there's just,
21:18
you're just in such a vulnerable state and you don't know what to
21:21
think and just, you know, bridging off of my faith.
21:24
Also, we're not meant to. We're not like, why did God
21:29
allow this cancer to me? That's a great question I'm
21:32
going to have to ask him when I get to heaven.
21:35
Why did you allow such a cancer at the age of 38 of all things?
21:38
But it's fine. God allowed it.
21:41
So what am I going to do about it?
21:42
And it's not so much, well, God gave it to you because he knew
21:46
you could handle it. No, we're not designed to handle
21:49
these kind of trials. We're designed to lay all on to
21:54
Him, to relieve ourselves of all the trials in our own lives and
21:59
to depend fully on Him. And so by the same token, he
22:02
released myself of the burden of having to take care of myself.
22:05
And I gave it to God. I gave it to the oncologist who
22:08
got ordained to treat me, to the radiologist, to my surgeon.
22:12
I was obviously in my community because God knew that cancer was
22:17
going to happen to me and his way of taking care of me wasn't
22:19
to surround me was doctors, and that's just medical people.
22:23
But I had an entire village literally come up and establish
22:29
themselves around me. I had a very powerful women's
22:32
group at church that just rallied behind me.
22:34
I don't know how I could have done it without them.
22:37
Friends from near and far just reaching out.
22:40
I had the most random people also just become a very
22:44
stronghold for me. That's.
22:45
Such a healthy perspective. Crystal.
22:47
Again, I wish I had you around. Was this temperament going
22:51
through the whole cancer treatment?
22:53
Well, did you have moments where you're like, I can't do this
22:56
anymore? Why me?
22:58
So my temperament was I have to be in control, everything has to
23:04
be my way. If a happens, then B&C has to
23:07
follow it. So that was my life before
23:09
cancer. And then obviously this
23:11
completely disrupted my very way of thinking, my very way of
23:17
being. And so precancer, I mean, I'm
23:20
still a bit type A, but I was very type A.
23:23
Everything had to be in order. Everything had to place,
23:26
everything had to happened the way that I wanted it to be.
23:31
And then when God allowed cancer to me and said, whoa, Nope, you
23:36
got to change the way that you think.
23:38
Now two years out, have so much freedom and the fact that
23:42
there's nothing that I can do to control things in my life.
23:45
So I'm just going to go with it. That's huge.
23:48
So that's actually a good point. What is one thing we just say is
23:51
something that you gained post cancer and something you lost.
23:54
One thing I gained is my ability to empathize, I guess.
23:58
And instead of being so hardcore scientific, this is the way it
24:02
is. It doesn't hurt.
24:04
You'll get over it. It's yeah, this hurts.
24:07
It's very emotional. It impacts you on so many
24:10
different levels. So that's one thing I gained and
24:13
then one thing I lost. I don't, I mean, I lost my
24:16
heart, personality, I guess it's been hard.
24:19
I don't want to just brush off the fact that it's a hard
24:22
journey because even though I sit here and I can smile and I
24:26
can think and say good positive things about it, I spent several
24:31
weeks, if not months in a very dark place just because it's a
24:37
tough diagnosis to come by. And especially because, I mean,
24:42
it's not just because I was young, but I was without
24:45
children. I can never have children now
24:47
because of the medications I'm on.
24:49
And there's just, you know, different realities with me
24:52
versus with you. So certainly having this
24:55
diagnosis wasn't without its hardship.
24:57
So your mom was your primary caretaker.
25:00
How had your relationship with your mom evolve or change or has
25:04
it it? Hasn't changed.
25:07
If anything, she's even more stronger than I know her to be.
25:12
I lost my dad 10 years ago now this year to stomach cancer and
25:16
she was his primary caretaker too.
25:19
And so when it came time for her to take care of me too, that was
25:22
one thing that I was very upset about.
25:24
I asked God, how could you do this to her?
25:26
Was it not enough that you made my mom go through that with my
25:29
dad, that you would have to make her go through that with me,
25:31
too? She was rock star with it.
25:34
I mean, I think part of it is she just knew her role in all of
25:39
this and she just did it. And yeah, so again, I don't know
25:44
what her inner workings were also you in her interview
25:49
herself, but I'm sure she says something completely different.
25:52
Yeah, she, she was just a Rockstar, very strong for me.
25:57
I don't think we could survive it if it was just black and
25:59
white. You would be too different or
26:00
things would be too disarrayed. But it's just slowly one thing
26:04
changes and then that one change then leads to another one, while
26:07
you still continue on in another aspect, for example.
26:12
Yeah, yeah. That sounds more accurate.
26:15
I free a lot of things I since the the treatment, diagnosis,
26:21
treatment. Some stuff that was important to
26:25
me before is really not important to me anymore and it
26:29
sure does bring some changes in ones life.
26:31
This is such a big, big event. Emotionally.
26:35
I was very scared, like super scared of death with what is my
26:40
future going to be? Am I going to die early?
26:44
Because I felt like, OK, I was stage 3, went through pretty
26:48
much the same treatments. I was allergic to all kinds of
26:51
medications. I was like, Oh my gosh, am I
26:55
going to live the rest of my life like this or am I going to
26:59
die earlier now? What about my kids, my family?
27:03
I think that was the biggest thing that I was worried about
27:05
my children because they were younger.
27:07
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm still afraid.
27:12
It's not that I live without fear.
27:15
For that reason, I won't allow them to scan me because I would
27:18
rather not know. Yeah.
27:23
Yeah, so there is that still in the back of my mind concerned
27:26
that shoot, one day this cancer could come back, but it's not
27:30
again, it goes back to the initial diagnosis.
27:34
You find it. OK, let's do something about it.
27:37
And if there isn't anything to do about it, then OK, let's,
27:40
let's see where we go from here. So I think in all, I'm not
27:44
allowing it to take control of my life.
27:47
It's just something that happened in the midst of my life
27:50
and I'm moving on now. Yeah, Yeah.
27:53
Moving on. That's right.
27:55
Yeah. It's been 10 years for me, and
27:57
yes, I am moving on. I was grappled by that fear of
28:01
death for a few years in the beginning.
28:03
Like literally I was. I could not, you know, if I'm
28:06
thinking about what should I do next year immediately, what if
28:09
I'm not around next year? You know, that dog kept on
28:12
coming back to me for a few years.
28:15
And yeah, it took a while to get rid of it.
28:17
Yeah, yeah. I think the reality is it's all,
28:21
for me at least, it's not just cancer that can take you out.
28:25
That's right. Car accident.
28:27
That's right. Freak accident or something like
28:30
that. So I think truly with this
28:31
experience, what I've come to the conclusion for myself is you
28:35
leave. You live each day being thankful
28:37
for the day that has been given to you.
28:40
The next day, if you do get to live another day, you ask God
28:44
for his mercies are new and you live another day.
28:48
I, I hate the phrase Yolo, you only live once, but kind of akin
28:52
to that. It's just fulfill your day,
28:55
saying positive things to people around you, loving the people
28:59
around you so that when you do go to sleep that night, you can
29:02
say, OK, I had a very fulfilling day and then move on to the
29:08
next. Because tomorrow is not really
29:10
promised to anyone, not just cancer patients.
29:13
Yeah. What?
29:13
What was the most annoying thing that you heard from other people
29:17
that about your diagnosis? You know, that's such a great
29:21
question and I remember being so annoyed and I can't remember the
29:27
question now. What was what was the most
29:30
annoying thing that people told you?
29:32
Like. You'll be OK.
29:34
Yeah, like, not in a way. This is going to be hard.
29:38
You'll be OK. It's just like it's so common
29:41
these days, Like you'll be OK. It's nothing.
29:46
You know, I think, I think that's along the lines of where
29:49
I got super annoyed where people are like, Oh yeah, you know, my,
29:52
my cousin had it. She did very well from it or
29:56
like, yes, yes. And then I still get annoyed to
30:01
this day where ladies come up to me like, Oh yeah, I had a little
30:04
bastard that got removed. OK, cool.
30:09
I don't know how you think your experience is comparable to
30:11
mine, but sure. My gosh, yes.
30:15
But you know, I make joke of it and I think people are saying it
30:19
from a good place. But if if I were to encourage
30:23
anyone, if you do encounter someone that has cancer, please
30:27
let it not be. You'll do fine, just I'm here
30:31
for you whenever you need it, you just let me know.
30:34
Don't act like you understand what people are going through.
30:37
What felt most genuine for you from coming from other people?
30:40
I'm praying for you. Like I really didn't like it.
30:44
I didn't like that either. Like I'm like, are you really?
30:48
I didn't like it when people said you look so good because in
30:53
reality I was dying inside. I didn't like it when people
30:58
said you're handling this very well.
31:00
Because the reality is, is I just put on a smile so I
31:05
wouldn't have to explain to you just how much I was hurting.
31:07
Yeah. I think the most encouraging
31:11
thing was just people say hey, I'm here if you need me and they
31:17
left me alone. This, just knowing that you have
31:19
people, I think was encouraging. Yeah, you know, that's so true.
31:23
Some people told me afterwards I didn't call you because I didn't
31:28
know what to. Say that was annoying.
31:31
I understand what they're saying.
31:33
I mean, they feel very awkward, especially Korean people.
31:35
What do you say? I understand.
31:37
Yeah. You could just let me know that
31:39
you're thinking of me. That was a rough, rough, rough
31:42
patch. Even after 10 years I still.
31:45
Remember, at this point in my life, I'm only two years out for
31:48
my diagnosis and it just seems like one thing after the other
31:54
after the other. But I'm so thankful that it's
31:57
not the bad that I remember. It's just the good.
32:01
And it's just like a small blurb in my life.
32:05
It's not gonna define me. And I'm so thankful for the
32:09
strength and the ability to move on from it.
32:11
Yeah, Amen to that. Yes, I am thankful too, for you
32:16
and for me and for others. So what is your next plans?
32:20
What are you looking forward to? Travel.
32:23
I'm looking to traveling and doing things, expanding myself,
32:27
but just live for the moment. If I want to do something, I'm
32:30
going to do it. If I want to buy something, I'm
32:32
going to buy it. If I'm going to eat something,
32:33
I'm going to eat it. So that's just where I am right
32:36
now. Yeah, me too.
32:37
Me too. Yeah.
32:39
You know what, I'm kind of relieved the fact that you say
32:41
you are sometimes afraid of death because sometimes I feel
32:46
like, Oh my gosh, am I the only person to feel this way?
32:49
What would be one thing that you want to say to women who are
32:53
going through the treatment or was just diagnosed?
32:58
I have to tell you a story. I was, you know, because Nelly
33:01
from our church too, was shortly diagnosed with cancer after
33:06
after I was and I was walking with her older daughter to the
33:10
car and her older daughter must have been in fifth grade at that
33:13
time. She turns to me and she goes,
33:15
Miss Crystal, I know my mom's going to do well because you did
33:19
so well, too. And then I like had to turn my
33:22
head to keep her from seeing me cry because in that moment, I
33:27
didn't realize how important it was that I had survived what I
33:31
did. There are other people around me
33:33
who will go through it at some point and they will have family
33:37
members or whatnot. To hear her daughter say that to
33:41
me, that she knows that her mom is going to do well because she
33:44
saw me survive. This was just so reminding to me
33:49
of the fact that, yeah, we have to fight for each other and
33:54
encourage one another on through this because other people have
33:58
to see that this is a very survivable disease.
34:01
It doesn't take a whole lot to encourage someone.
34:04
Just something as easy as, hey, I was thinking of you or I'm
34:09
praying for you, or hey, I got you this small little cookie so
34:15
you can enjoy it or something like that.
34:16
It's just all of the above will be so uplifting.
34:20
I guess my message is, is it's a hard to swallow when you get the
34:24
initial diagnosis. Despite all the positive things
34:28
that we've mentioned throughout the video.
34:30
Don't think that it's wrong of you if you have those dark
34:33
moments because yeah, those dark moments are very real.
34:37
Don't also repress those dark moments.
34:40
I think definitely you and I are on the other side of it because
34:44
we were able to work through it and I think that's the biggest
34:48
thing. You have to work through all
34:49
those dark moments and those demons and so that you can see
34:53
the other side. Don't do it alone, always ask
34:56
for help. My last official question,
34:59
Crystal, is if you were to describe yourself as in food,
35:03
movie, Song, what would it be and why?
35:07
Oh, my song is Flowers by Miley Cyrus.
35:13
It's just it's such an empowering song.
35:16
Hey, I got this. I can tackle things.
35:19
And again, it's empowering because I can say from the
35:24
vantage point of having such a strong community around me, I
35:27
don't think I would be that empowered if I didn't have
35:30
people to support me. So that's the biggest thing.
35:34
People look at me and they say, wow, I can't believe you did it.
35:38
You, you got through it. I did it.
35:40
It's because I had so many people just rallying behind me
35:44
that I could do it. So yeah.
35:47
That's a good feeling. We're not alone and it's it's a
35:51
tough one. It's a tough one, but we could
35:54
do it. Hey, if you haven't subscribed
35:57
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36:02
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36:07
Thank you so much.