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What is really IMPORTANT to a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about what is important to a
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  narcissist, What's important to the narcissist in your life or
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  past life or whatever. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Cover.
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  Welcome back folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back my beautiful folks. Yes, what on earth is important
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  to that narcissistic toxic person in your life?
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  Now I know what you're going to say lately.
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  Hop directly into the video. Do not try to tell us about the
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  support group. We don't care.
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  Just don't try to tell us to join a support group.
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  I don't care how much how helpful it is.
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  I don't care how many other survivors that are in there
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  getting help. We don't care.
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  But if you do care right here. But seriously, narcissistic
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  people, what's important a narcissist show.
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  I say this all the time. No2 narcissists are alike.
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  So some narcissists are going to value one thing while others
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  value something differently, right?
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  This is going to be true across the board.
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  No2 narcissists are going to be the same.
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  It just doesn't work that way. The mind of a lot of the mind of
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  a narcissist, the mind of a types of person is going to it's
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  it's a slippery slope. Yeah, it can be a very slippery
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  slope in these situations, but I could say this for most
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  narcissists. Most narcissists or toxic person
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  are going to value their reputation above everything
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  else. Like, I'm just going to keep it
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  hot and ready like a Little Caesar's pizza for you right
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  here. Most narcissists are going to
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  absolutely value their value, their reputation above almost
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  any damn thing. They they just are.
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  Their reputation is important to them.
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  It's Yeah. And this is not me trying to
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  make it seem like you as a human being or not an important
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  person. This is not me trying to make it
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  seem like, well, you made me sound like they don't.
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  I don't matter at all. I'm not saying that.
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  Yeah, that is not me saying that.
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  But I what I am saying is that most narcissistic people in
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  these situations tend to just value direct.
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  They like they want to be looked at.
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  They want to be revered, right? They want people to look at them
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  in a way that makes them feel good about themselves.
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  Because how do narcissists get supply?
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  How do they get validation? By having a good reputation A
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  lot of times. Like if I have a good
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  reputation, that means I look good in front of other people,
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  right? As long as my reputation is
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  good, I look good in front of other people.
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  As long as this type of stuff is going on, I look good in front
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  of other people, right? As long as I have these things
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  going for me, as long as my reputation precedes me.
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  Y'all heard that before your reputation precedes you, make
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  sure it's worth following. Yeah.
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  Value the narcissist, value the reputation.
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  Because as long as I have a good reputation, I can get
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  narcissistic supply. I can get validation from other
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  people. I can get this, I can get that.
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  That happens all the time. So as long as they can do this,
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  as long as they can say that they are going to keep doing the
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  same thing over and over again because why?
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  Well, Lee, why don't you just treat people better?
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  Yeah, they can. A lot of times they don't have
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  to. Let's keep it real.
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  Let's keep it real. A lot of times they don't have
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  to treat people better to get to have a have a good reputation
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  because not everybody knows what's going on.
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  Not everybody knows their severity or what's going on.
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  Like not everybody knows what like everything that's going on
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  in their life right through what they went through,
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  what they survived. There are a lot of different
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  reasons why. And I understand that.
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  It's not me trying to say, well, just your fault.
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  No, I'm saying there are a lot of different reasons why you
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  don't tell people what you're going through.
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  A lot of people don't understand what you're going through.
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  A lot of people end up blaming themselves.
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  Some people just, you know, the narcissist is the the provider
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  in the household. If you expose them, they get
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  kicked out of the military or fired from their job or, you
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  know, go to jail. How are you going to support the
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  household? You see what I'm saying?
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  There's so many different reasons why reputation is so
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  important to narcissists. So they're going to protect it
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  at all costs. They just will.
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  So if I in in any situations right here, I want to see y'all
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  win, you know, and that's why we're telling people like I want
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  to see you win. So this one just let you know
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  that their reputation is important.
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  If you can ruin that reputation, if you can ruin a narcissist
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  reputation, they could have like they might try to hurt you, like
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  you have power over them. So if you can, if, if you can
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  ruin their reputation, they look at you as you had, like you have
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  the balance of power, like you might not think you do, but they
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  look at you like you're powerful because you know who I am.
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  You can ruin my life by telling people what I've done, by
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  exposing what I've done. That's why they that's why they
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  look at you in a certain type of way.
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  That's why I try to keep you down.
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  That's why I try to keep some type of control over you because
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  they benefit from it at the at the end of the day, they can
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  benefit from it. They're like, OK, I feel good
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  about this. I feel good about that.
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  I have this going for me. So they benefit from it in a
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  unique way. So they they feel good.
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  Like I said, they don't think I said in these spaces, they think
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  that they're going to be fine. So that's why I just let
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  everybody know like their reputation is absolutely
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  extremely important to them. So I'll say this, I will say
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  this as well, but another thing that's important to them is
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  money is money. It just absolutely is.
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  I know, I know people were like, but damn, Lee, I thought you
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  were going to say the kids or the family.
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  Kids are important to narcissists to a certain extent.
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  Not every narcissist is going to care about their kids the same
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  way. There are some narcissists who
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  care about their kids 0% while there are others who only care
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  about their kids. And they I said they only care
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  about their kids because guess what?
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  They see their kids as an extension, extension of
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  themselves. Therefore, I see my kids as a
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  way back up my reputation. You know what I'm saying?
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  My kids, me being a good parent or given the illusion that I'm a
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  good parent helps me, helps me, like, protect my reputation.
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  So kids are on the list, but they just kind of mixed into the
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  reputation tab. Well, it's like you on a
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  computer. Like what tab or what tab are
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  the kids under? Oh, reputation.
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  What tab is the wife or the husband under?
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  Reputation. You know what I'm saying?
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  There it goes right there. But money is important.
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  Yeah. Money money money give me money,
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  give me that money. Money is important to
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  narcissist. Y'all If you don't follow my if
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  you don't follow my other channel, my Lee actions channel
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  right here on YouTube. Check it out.
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  I just did a reaction to a video where a woman a voicemail.
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  I did a reaction to a voicemail where she was saying that her
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  narcissistic partner baby daddy he's like makes probably makes
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  over $100,000 a year but he had to pay $382.00 a month for child
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  support. He's not really involved in the
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  kids life but guess what happened when he got the three
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  their first $382 deduction. Try to file for full custody
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  because money is important. Seeing seeing this kid probably
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  once a month once at like twice a month.
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  But now you want full custody because $382 is important to
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  him. You see what I'm saying?
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  Do they really want custody? Probably not.
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  But they think that they can scare you because they know you
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  care about the kid. They know you care about the
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  kid. So they feel like they can use
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  the kid as leverage in this situation to control you.
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  This is what happens. They use their kids as pawns.
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  And I know it sounds evil because damn, here it is.
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  It is evil. There's a lot of there's an evil
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  taste in the mouth of a narcissist.
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  A lot of times that's why I'm like, they use their kids as
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  leverage. They want the, you know, the
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  kids are extensions of the reputation, but money can be
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  under the reputation tab as well.
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  Money is important because money gets status, money gets control.
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  You know, in a lot of different situations, money can get you
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  access to power and fame and women and men or whatever money
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  get money is important to a lot of narcissists.
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  Not every single narcissist is getting y'all.
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  And so not every narcissist is going to care about money
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  because you have you have, I mean, they care about money, but
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  not to the same extent. You're not going to be as as
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  important to every narcissist to the same extent.
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  So think about it from this perspective right here.
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  A lot of narcissists, right, get into the mindset, get into the
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  dynamic, get into the space where that you have the you have
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  the broke bummy narcissist, right?
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  You know, they don't have any, they don't have any money, they
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  don't work, they don't care about working.
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  They think you're going to take care of them, right?
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  So their, their attachment to money, their relationship to
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  money is going to be different. They just feel like their money
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  is still important to them. They just feel like they're
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  entitled to everybody else's. I don't have my own.
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  I don't have my own money, but I feel like I'm entitled to yours,
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  which is a crazy mindset to have regardless of what you think,
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  you know, But money is absolutely important to
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  narcissists. It just is.
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  It really, really is, you know, money is because money can allow
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  them to, you know, Chase. I think a lot of times, and this
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  is just not for narcissists, a lot of times people associate
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  money with success and success with happiness.
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  So narcissists think the pursuit of money and a good reputation
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  and these stuff are here. The things that are important to
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  them, the pursuit of the things that are important to them are
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  going to somehow make them happy.
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  Like somehow it's going to make us happy internally, but it
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  doesn't, you know? So when we get the money, when
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  we get the success, when we get the fame, when we get the good
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  reputation and we're still not happy, we lash out.
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  When narcissists get everything that they're looking for in life
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  and they're not happy, they lash out.
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  It's frustrating. Let's keep it high, you know
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  what I mean? I used to think that like having
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  a, a good social media, a good social media following, like how
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  if I, if I get popular on social media, I'll be happy, I'll be
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  happier. It'll make, it'll fulfill my
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  dream, you know, fulfill my destiny, right?
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  But then, you know, four years later, because I've been doing
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  social media, I've been doing social media full time on this
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  thing like this for four years, right?
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  So four years in, over 3 million people later, it changes up.
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  Four people in 3,000,000 followers later, I'm still don't
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  have that happiness and fulfillment.
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  But I've been working on myself. Y'all know?
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  I've been in therapy for six years.
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  I've been 7 for seven years. So I've been working myself.
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  I know how to, I know how to pivot, I know how to adjust.
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  Not every narcissist can say the same thing.
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  They don't know how to pivot, they don't know how to adjust.
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  So they're get stuck in it. They pretty much get stuck in
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  the mud and whatnot, You know, they pursue this, this, this,
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  this stuff, the things that are they pursue the things that are
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  important to them because they think the things, achieving
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  these things will make them happy.
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  You know what I mean? They think achieving these
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  things will somehow make them happy or somehow fulfill their
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  goals and dreams and things of that nature.
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  That's what that that's where the mind of a narcissist goes
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  right there, y'all. It really is it.
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  That's what the mindset attaches to.
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  So that's what I'm just trying to let you know.
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  Like I'd be want y'all to win, Like I don't know, I don't know
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  everybody else, but Lee hammock want you to win.
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  Lee hammock will be rooting for you.
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  But this is where the mind of this.
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  What a lot of people get confused at right here is that
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  you feel like because I didn't list their their wife or the
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  husband on here, you feel like you're questioning your own
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  worth. They the way like they're
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  they're narcissist value system is just going to be different.
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  I'm not saying that they don't care about you at all, but on a
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  level of importance, if if caring about you and treating
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  you well serves them in some way, then they're going to do
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  that. It's important to them to look
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  good. So to caring for you in public,
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  doting on you in public, being nice to you in public, that's
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  what I'm saying. It serves a purpose.
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  Everything that's important to a narcissist serves a purpose for
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  them. The job, the status, the money,
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  the looks, my hair, my teeth, whatever it is, they feel like
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  it has to serve a purpose for us.
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  So that's the type, the type of space that a lot of us fall into
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  right there. We are just trying, you know
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  what I mean, out here, trying and trying to maintain our
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  sanity, maintain our composure and just maintain a life in
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  general because we like narcissists, like to be real,
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  narcissists are absolutely struggling.
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  We are struggling out here. And this is not me trying to get
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  you to feel sorry for narcissists.
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  There, Oh, Lee, there. I knew it.
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  I knew sooner or later Lee was going to switch up on us and try
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  to get us to feel sorry for him. We we had we, we were rooted for
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  you Lee. We are all rooting for you.
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  Y'all can still root for me. I'm still a good person.
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  Y'all still out here working and being as nice as I possibly can
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  and helping people heal and helping people grow.
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  Anyway, y'all do have to cut this thing short.
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  I have a Zoom call I have to hop on.
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  I appreciate y'all tuning in. Make sure this is join the
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  channel. I said don't, do not look at
• 13:02
  joining the support group. Don't look at the mental
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  healers. Don't try to get that help.
• 13:05
  Don't try to join the group. Don't try to attend the daily.
• 13:08
  No, not daily, but like the two, two or three private Zoom
• 13:11
  meetings we do a week. Don't try to attend those.
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  Don't do that. Anyway, y'all, I appreciate
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  everything. One of y'all.
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  I'm thankful for every single one of y'all.
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  And it's always y'all. It's always mental illness is
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  out. Where's my little thing?
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  What's my Stinger? I need AI need some new stingers
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  job. If y'all can know how to make
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  these little stingers like this right here like thank you so
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  much for making it to the end of my video.
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  Y'all can help me make those type of stingers.
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  Just send me an e-mail. Send me an e-mail to
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  mentalillness85@gmail.com. I'm out.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 13:43
  to the channel, help us reach more people and click on the
• 13:45
  screen to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 13:48
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 13:51
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again, I will
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  see you in the next video. Peace.