Latest / Compass Student Ministry Sermons Podcast / True North+ Ep. 3 | Who Should Your Student Date?

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True North+ Ep. 3 | Who Should Your Student Date? · Compass Student Ministry Sermons Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 3: Welcome back to episode three of True North+.
• 0:04
  Speaker 4: Hey, everyone.
• 0:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're, we're still here- and we are, excited.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: We're having a lot of fun making these episodes.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: We hope you enjoy listening to them as well.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Hopefully.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: If you do enjoy this, and it's helpful for you, we'd appreciate you letting us know.
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: Absolutely
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: and if you have questions, you can always ask me or Shay.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: You can find us after True North- on Wednesday night.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: We come out-
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: Or at church.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, or at church on a Sunday.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: but we wanted to have some fun, and we thought it would be fun to let you guys know about the, the lead-up to our first date, because it's a, kind of a fun story, I guess.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: I love the story, but I'm also a sucker for just sweet, like, rom-com stuff anyway, so- Well- maybe it's not that cool.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it was quite rom-com worthy, but-
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: That's fair it was super fun.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: So basically, we were both single, and- That, that's a good
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: start.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: That's, that's-
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: That's a great
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: start not as dramatic as it could've been.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: And I was going to leave for seminary, Yeah I was gonna- In
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: how many months?
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Two.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Over, just over two months.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: And so I, I l- I thought Shay was really great.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I thought she was a really godly, beautiful woman.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: But- Since I was leaving for school, I was like, "Oh, I'm not gonna ask her out," 'cause that- Aw.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: that kind of, you know, I just, it wasn't like, I don't know if I wanna do long distance and all this stuff.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: And then, someone was talking to me about it, and they pointed out that, "Oh, you know, if you think about it, all you have to do in the next two months is decide whether you want to do long
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: distance or not."
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: And I was like- Mm-hmm "That's a good point."
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: So then I was like, "Okay, I'm, I think I'm gonna do it."
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: So I talked to my small group leader.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Shout out, Danny Mayer.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: And- Yeah, Evie was my small group leader at the time as well, so I, that's, we had a married couple as our leaders, which is always helpful.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I talked to Danny about it, I talked to Pastor PJ about it, and, which is kinda fun that they've been here the whole time, right?
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: They've, they've known us well before we were married, which is cool.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: And dating too, 'cause we were, yeah, single before that, and, just in the same ministry together.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: So, like, I knew you for a long time before we ever dated.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which honestly was really great to be just regular friends for a while without any, like, romantic attraction for a while was helpful, to get to know each other.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: But anyway, so I was like, "Okay, I guess I'm gonna do this.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna ask out Shay, and we're gonna s- figure out if w- I guess I'm gonna do this we wanna do long distance."
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Well, 'cause I wasn't expecting to, right?
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: That's, no,
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: that's true.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: So, I was hanging out with my friend.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: It was a Saturday, remember.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: We were going to lunch.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: And he goes, he was one of the, he was like, "Hey, are you, uh, are you interested in any ladies?"
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: And-
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: Mm-mm
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: he was that guy.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: He ed-
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: would- As one just- Well- you know, casually says.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: There's always that friend, right?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: There is.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Guy or girl- That's
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: very true.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Yep that's always gonna ask you, right?
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: If you're single, they're always gonna ask you.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: And- They want the updates.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: And I was like, "Actually, I'm planning on asking out Shay."
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: And then Shay was a hot commodity, and so my friend was like, "You know, actually, someone else is planning on doing the same thing.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: You've got competition."
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: And so then I was like, "Well, I gotta get in first," right?
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: I gotta, I gotta put- Thanks, babe my hat in the ring first.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Um, and so I was planning on asking her out- On that- Monday Monday, yeah.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah After she finished work.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: But then the next day, next morning, Sunday after church, she walks out of the student ministry building by herself.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: It's a perfect,
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: perfect
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: moment.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And I'm on my way-
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: See, this is where I bring in the rom-com thing.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: I don't know, it was, you know, perfect placement.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: I was by myself.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: We got
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Or we could just say it's, like, God's providence.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Or that.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: But, you know- That probably makes more sense rom-com, God's providence, same thing, right?
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Um, but I was walking to lunch with my friend, and I was like, "Hey," and he knew, so I was like, "Hey, um, I gotta go.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: I'll be right back."
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: And so he, you know, peeled off, and so I went up to Shannon.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Good wingman.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: Good wingmen are a blessing from the Lord.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: And so I went up to Shannon, and I started talking to her, and then I asked her out, and what was your response?
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: I felt so bad after the fact.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: I had to apologize to him the next day.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: I thought he was kidding, and I said, "Ha ha, you're joking" And he was like, "No, I'm so serious."
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: And I was like, "Oh, yeah, dinner sounds great."
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: And I had to apolo- I had to apologize to you the next day to just say, "Hey, I'm actually really excited.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: I apologi- I'm so sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: Thank you for asking me out."
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so-
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: It was...
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: I
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: ju- Clearly she had a really- Yeah, I thought he was kidding a really high opinion of me, 'cause she- Well- thought I would just prank her by asking her out
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: on a date.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: No, 'cause we were good friends at that point, and the last, like, six months, we had really gotten to know each other, in our serving roles and just as friends.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: And so I think for you to say that, I was like, "What?"
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: But to be fair- But we rec-
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: we recovered from there
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: I, y- well, also to be f- this, this is a complete...
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: I don't know if many people know this, but before we started dating, it was maybe a week before you asked me out, which I thought was crazy timeline, 'cause you never actually talked to this person when this happened.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: But someone asked me, "Hey," like, "are you wanting to date again?
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: Are you," you know.
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: And I said, "Oh, I'm pretty content staying single for a bit."
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: But then, like, the most amazing guy asked me out, so I had to say yes.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: But the, she asked me, she was like, "Out of anyone in our church," like, "who would you say yes to?"
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: And I said, literally-
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: If you were forced to.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: Well, I said that Lewis was the only one I would accept, and I, I don't wanna say offer.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: That sounds so weird, but accept a date with, and then you did it a week later and I was like...
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: I told...
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: I went back to my friend, I said, "Did you know about this?"
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: She's like, "Nope, I had no clue."
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: And sh- yeah, she never spoke to you.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: No, we, we were not on the same page, but it worked out.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: God knew what He was doing.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, so the story though, the reason we're ta- this is the, the best part of the story.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: So I ask her out.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: She says yes.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: We decide to go on the date.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: The next day, Monday night, we're at a college ministry event with some friends, and the other dude who wants to ask Shay out is there, and Shay starts to head back to her car.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: So my f- my best friend, who ended up becoming the best man at my wedding, slightly because of this reason- he says, "Hey, do you see what's happening right now?
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Like, this guy's making a move on Shay."
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: And so he follows them, and- they're walking on a sidewalk, right?
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: And sidewalks are-
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: They're
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: meant for only two people are meant for two people, right?
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: They're not meant for three people, but he, like, awkwardly follows behind them and tries to- Yeah insert himself on their c- in the conversation.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Like-
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Hey, to be fair, he did it really well.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: And for like 10 minutes, 'cause th- the walk back to the car is, like, down and around and up a hill.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: And, and so he just- you know, runs interference for me for this whole time and doesn't let the dude ask her out.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: So props
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: to him.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: It's funny how just all this stuff happens, 'cause I did not clock any of that.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: So anyway, um, that's kinda the story of how...
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: what led up to our first date.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: We just thought it'd be fun to share that with you So but speaking of actually rom-coms, one of the things we talked about in tonight's sermon was whether or not the idea of this, like, one person is, or,
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: like, the right person or a soulmate is, something that we should be looking for, right?
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: So our sermon tonight was about who to look for, what kind of person- Mm-hmm to look for, what should you be thinking about as you're pursuing dating, right?
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: Last week was, what should I be thinking about in regards to myself?
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: And then this week is, what about other people?
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: we talked a little bit about that, um, like what that says, what our culture says, and, and about this right person.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: So what...
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: did your group have any in- insight on that or, How did they kind of navigate that topic?
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: That was one of our small group questions, was like, do you think there's a right person to marry, or do you think you can find true love with someone?
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they just had mentioned that you meet someone, and you admire them, and you respect them, and you want to pursue them.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: It doesn't have to be this magical thing.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: But at the same time, there, you know, God is sovereign, and I...
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: It was his plan to have me marry Lewis.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: So it's kind of a, a blend of, hey, God is always sovereign, and this was his plan the whole time, but w- who you date isn't necessarily who you'll marry.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: But I think it's so easy for young people to be like, "This is the one person.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: This is, you know, set in stone, and there's no other options."
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: And any- anyway,
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: be on the lookout for that with your students, right?
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: 'Cause, th- that idea is pretty common, I think, that there's some, like, m- mystical or magical, feeling that I should get.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: And sometimes we don't help 'cause we'll say, "Oh yeah, when you know, you know."
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: And it's like, well, how do I know that?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you don't
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: know.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so, uh, and that, and that's something that we just thought was good to talk about with the students.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: Our first point really was about we're looking for a spouse when we're dating, right?
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: And we talked about this for the last couple weeks, that dating is about clarity.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: So we're trying to make a decision.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: Should I marry this person or should I not?
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: And in that, we're looking specifically for a spouse.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: And so we talked about not looking for less than a spouse.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: We don't wanna have standards that are- Yeah,
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: potential
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: yeah, we don't wanna have standards that are too low- Yeah but also we don't wanna look for more than a spouse.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: And so we don't wanna make this person into something that only God is supposed to be.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: And so one of our other questions was about that.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: And so one of the things we talk about with the students, was this idea of how would you know if the person you're interested in, or maybe just the relationship you're looking for, is becoming more important to you
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: than Jesus?
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: And that's such a great thing to talk about with your students.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: It's a great thing, and we discussed a lot about, habits changing.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: You know, if your convictions are changing, if your day-to-day habits are changing around this person, then that's a, a good warning sign, to know if, if this person is taking the place of Christ, right?
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: If you're just aching to text this person in the morning before, you know, your quiet time, even little things like that, or if they're filling your brain more than God is, or if they're your safe space versus remembering
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: that God is in control and, and resting in Him and His truths and His comfort.
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: And so once a person starts to take the place of God, that's when you really call into question, okay, is this an idol?
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: How- Much of an influence this is having on me, and how much is it taking over, frankly, my relationship with Christ that is the most important above everything else and, is the only really way to have a successful
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: godly relationship is keeping God at the center and keeping God at the, the, the point of what, why we do what we do and why we're dating in general, so.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: That's great.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: So when you're talking about this with your student, right, you wanna look for, maybe even talk about the ways that we express importance in life, right?
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: H- we express importance through attention.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: We give things time.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, how much you're
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: talking
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: We give things energy.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: We bring it up around other people.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: And then anxiety and fear is another way we show importance, where we're anxious about the things that we care most about.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: We're afraid of the things that we think are the most powerful- Yeah or the most significant.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: Well, that's where we can get into that obsessive nature as well.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: And even our high school students address that.
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: In their friends maybe at school, they're seeing some of those traits pop out for their friends that are dating, and they kinda were asking about tactics to avoid that and making sure that their heart is set on what's
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: true rather than the things that are deceiving for them.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: So we wanna, when you're thinking about this with your student and talking about it with them, you wanna help them, in advance plan to say, "Okay, i- if this is the type of things I'm feeling," or, "These are
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: maybe some warning signs."
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: That's kinda what you talk about in the question of, how do I know that this person is becoming more important to me than, than Jesus is, right?
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Or maybe even not the person, maybe it's the idea.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it can be both.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe they're not dating yet, and the idea of the relationship has become this thing to them.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: That was one of our things we talked about under the first point, which was, to make sure that you're looking for a spouse and, and nothing more, but nothing less either, right?
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: So we don't wanna- Also have standards that are completely different for dating than for marriage.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: And I, I think, and I, I showed the students, there's, there's a meme that goes around that says, like, the girl you date versus the girl you marry.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: And essentially, the, the meme and the reason I brought it up is 'cause what it points out is that it makes dating, like, oh, dating is fun and marriage is, like, lame but good in the sense of, like,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: this person's responsible and they're caring- Mature and- but they're not, like, fun and- Yeah exciting.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: And so what I was trying to show the students is, like, that dating and marriage are r- connected.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: We're not looking for a different type of person when we date and then a different type of person from what we marry.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: And so- Mm-hmm one of the things we talked about with students was what do you think the most important qualities to look for someone, when you're trying to date?
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: And that's a great question to ask your student, right?
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Is, "Hey, what are you looking for when, you know, the people you wanna date?"
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: What's...
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: If maybe you even wanna sit down with them and, and have them make some sort of list.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: You don't n- and not that you need a list, but-
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: We're gonna do a T chart of, you know, what's good and what's ba- No, but I mean, what's most important is, at least m- our girls in particular talked about, the fruits of the spirit.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: They said they would want to see the men that they, are interested in emulate, the fruits of the spirit, and they, they walked through each of those qualities and, then how they would want a spouse to look the
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: very same way and, there wasn't a distortion between, oh, the boyfriend that they would want versus the husband that they would want.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: Those- Yeah were one and the same as far as
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: qualities go.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that, and that's really good.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: And something else too about the, like, even something like the fruit of the spirit is such a great thing.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: But what we also wanna add to that is we're looking for, like, opposite gender qualities, too, and this is what we talked about-
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: In our second point.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: We talked about what marriage really is and what- Mm-hmm it's about, right?
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Because marriage, there's a job description that's specific to a husband that's different than the job description that's specific to a wife.
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: Definitely.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: And so as you're even-
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: You're not supposed to be my girlfriend.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: And so even as we're, we're talking to our students about marriage and asking them questions about what they think, and even we're teaching about marriage by how we live out our marriages in front of them.
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: And that's where, at least when it comes to fun, you know, we, we want to show our students that marriage is, it's a vital commitment full of, you know, conti- daily fulfilling your vows and, and pursuing one another
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: and growing in trust and maturity and your love for Christ, but also that it's really fun and it doesn't have to be just, "Oh, yeah, we take care of the kids and we have all these responsibilities, and we're
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: a team," but it's, "We're a team and we, we love doing that and we have a lot of fun and we enjoy each other and we, adore each other."
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: That's something we already brought up too, is that life-giving nature of marriage, right?
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: The husband nourishes and cherishes his wife.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: Um, and so there, there is something just bright and happy and good and right about a good marriage.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: And so the...
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: really, the best way to teach your kids about marriage is to, to live a great marriage in front of them- Mm-hmm that they get to see every day, and they also get to see what it's like when a
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: husband and wife sin against each other- Yeah and what, what that forgiveness and reconciliation- Mm-hmm and patience and gentleness.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: 'Cause if you think about it, a lot of the fruit of the Spirit, have to do with interacting with sin in the world, right?
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Faithfulness or self-control or gentleness, right?
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, it'd, it'd be great for you to talk to your student and ask them just what they think is important, and maybe help them sort through what's a standard, right?
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: What's, essential?
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Versus what's a preference, right?
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: The illustration I used for the students was about, building a house, right?
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: And, when we're looking for qualities, there's essential qualities in a house, right?
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: The foundation, the walls, the ceiling.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Then there's preferences, right?
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: The curtains, the counter, the furniture.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you were talking about countertops.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: I was impressed.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: You know, just-
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: Like granite or...
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, sorry.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Never mind I also talked about Fortnite.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: So, you know, you can check that out in the series.
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: Well, I didn't get those references, if that brought you any comfort.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: Uh, I mean, I honestly have never-- So don't tell the students.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: I have never played a single second of Fortnite in my life.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: But he
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: made multiple Fortnite references.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: That apparently were good.
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: Well, the whole room just reacted when you...
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: But anyway, yeah, so if, if there's just some takeaways you can have from this, right?
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Try to get a feel for what your students' perception of marriage and attraction and love and romance is really like.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: And then maybe ask them about what they're looking for, what they're interested in, what they're drawn to, and why that's the case.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: 'Cause some of this too is we wanna teach students, right?
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: But we also wanna let them share because then we get a feel for where they're at, right?
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: We, we wanna hear- Mm-hmm what they're thinking and what they believe, 'cause that'll help us serve them better and, and really train them and, and love them.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: Maybe what you, you do after this is you sit down with your student and you ask them, "Hey, what do you think, are the essentials?
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: What do you think are some preferences you have?
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: And, and let's talk about those."
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: And let, and, you know, create that environment where, again, you're, you're not having one, you know, this is the dating conversation, right?
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: But you have, you know, just occasionally, "Hey, like, you know, what are you, what are you interested in?"
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: You know, or, "What are you drawn to about her?"
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Or, "Why do you, you know, why do you, what do you like about him?"
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Or things like that can be helpful along the way.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Well, I am going to pray for us, and we are going to wrap up this episode.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: So, let's talk to God together and, and pray for our students God, we are grateful that you've given us marriage as a picture of who you are, that marriage is really, the point of it is to display yourself
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: to us.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: And so we pray for all the marriages that are tuning into this episode, that you help us to live out this living parable of your love.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: I pray for, our church to have strong, attractive, good, and Christ-honoring marriages.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: And I pray for our students that, you help us, parents and leaders to disciple them well, to ask them good questions, to talk about important things with them, and to think through really what we're, what we're after when
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: we're looking to prepare for marriage.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: So we pray all these things in Jesus' name, amen.
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: Amen.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Well, we will catch you on episode four of True North Plus.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: So thanks for tuning in, and, we'll catch up with you next week.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Bye, everybody.