Latest / Learn to Thrive with ADHD Podcast / Ep 141: Do You Need an ADHD Coach, a Therapist, or Both?

Transcript

Ep 141: Do You Need an ADHD Coach, a Therapist, or Both? · Learn to Thrive with ADHD Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Learn to Thrive with ADHD.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is the podcast for adults with ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Mandy John.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to make your life with ADHD easier.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get started.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, do you need an ADHD coach, a therapist, or both?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: You've decided you want some help with your ADHD, you've spent years trying to figure things out on your own, and you're ready for some support.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: But now you have another decision to make.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need an ADHD coach, a therapist, or would you benefit from working with both?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not entirely sure what the difference is, you're not alone.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: One of the explanations I hear all the time is that therapy focuses on the past and coaching focuses on the future.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've never really loved that explanation because it's not exactly accurate.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Therapy can be very focused on what's happening in your life right now, and coaching can involve looking at past experiences to understand your patterns.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: There are some pretty significant differences between coaching and therapy, but they have more to do with the type of work being done and the professional's role than whether you're talking about the past or the future.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if you're struggling to manage your time, follow through on your plans, or get organized, an ADHD coach can help you work on these things.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're dealing with depression, significant anxiety, trauma, or another mental health condition, a therapist or another qualified mental health professional can provide treatment.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And there's overlap.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Some therapists specialize in ADHD and work directly with executive function skills, and emotions certainly come up in coaching.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you figure out which one you need?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're going to talk about today.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is the second episode in our six-part series about ADHD coaching.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Last week we covered what ADHD coaching actually is and what happens during a coaching session.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to look at the differences between coaching and therapy, where they overlap, and how to decide what kind of help makes the most sense for you.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: By the end, you'll have a simple way to figure out what kind of help to look for first.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an ADHD coach and I've worked with a lot of adults with ADHD, some while they were in therapy.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I've seen where coaching helps and where someone really needs a different kind of support.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: This one's for you if you're ready for help with your ADHD but aren't sure where to start.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: When you're trying to decide between an ADHD coach and a therapist, start by looking at what you're actually struggling with.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say you're doing pretty well overall, you have a job, you're managing your responsibilities, and you're generally happy with your life, but you have a hard time getting started on things.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're constantly underestimating how long tasks will take.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your planning systems never seem to last, and you keep falling behind on projects you genuinely want to finish.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the kind of challenges an ADHD coach can help you work through.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's look at a different situation.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: You've been feeling really depressed for weeks, you're having trouble enjoying things you normally care about, your sleep has changed, and you're struggling to function throughout the day.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: In that situation, the priority is getting the appropriate mental health care.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: A licensed therapist or another qualified healthcare professional can evaluate what's happening and help you get treatment.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: The difference isn't how successful you are or how much you're struggling on the outside, it's the kind of help you need.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Someone can have a successful career and still be dealing with serious depression or anxiety.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And someone can be completely overwhelmed by their schedule without having a mental health condition that requires treatment.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than trying to decide which professional sounds better, identify the problem that you want help solving.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're dealing with several different challenges at once, that's okay too.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: We'll talk about how coaching and therapy can work together in a later episode.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: If what you need help with sounds more like coaching, my group coaching program is reopening soon.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can join the wait list.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: You'll find the link in the show notes, or get my free weekly newsletter at learn to thrive with ADHD.com forward slash weekly.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: In the last episode, we talked about how ADHD coaching helps people close the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at what that means in everyday life.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Say you're struggling to manage your work week.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Every Monday, you sit down with your calendar, make a plan, and feel pretty good about what you're going to accomplish.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But by Wednesday, you're already behind.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You've spent more time than you expected answering emails, a couple of meetings ran long, and the big project that you wanted to work on hasn't gotten much attention.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: By Friday, you're frustrated because another week has gone by and you haven't made the progress you wanted.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: You could keep telling yourself that you need to manage your time better, but that doesn't give you much to work with.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: In coaching, we'd start looking at how you're spending your time and where your plan is breaking down.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Are you scheduling more work than you can realistically accomplish?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Are you leaving room for unexpected interruptions?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a way to decide what deserves your attention when several things are competing for it?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: We might discover that you're scheduling eight hours of work into an eight-hour day, even though you spend two or three hours in meetings and responding to other people's needs.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Of course you're not getting everything done.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't enough time in the schedule that you created.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now we can make some changes.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: We could look at how much focused work time you actually have, decide what needs to get done in a week, and create a plan that fits the time available.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: We'd also look at how you're going to handle interruptions because those aren't going to go away.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Then you'd try that plan during the week and we'd review how it went in your next session.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's a practical example of ADHD coaching.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're working on the skills, decisions, and systems you use to manage your everyday life.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're also helping you get better at recognizing these problems so that you can make adjustments on your own.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about therapy because there are some misconceptions about what therapists actually do.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: A therapist is a licensed mental health professional who helps people with emotional, psychological, and behavioral concerns.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Depending on their training and their specialty, they may provide treatment for conditions such as anxiety, depression, trauma-related disorders, and other mental health concerns.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: They also help people work through grief, relationship difficulties, self-esteem issues, and emotional patterns that are affecting their lives.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And therapy can be very practical.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I want to clear up this idea that therapy is primarily about sitting on a couch and talking about your childhood.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: There are times when exploring your past experiences is useful.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding where certain beliefs or emotional responses came from can help you recognize how they're affecting you today.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: But therapy doesn't always involve going back through your past.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: For example, a therapist who uses cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT may help someone recognize patterns in their thoughts and behaviors that contribute to their anxiety or depression.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: They can work on developing coping skills, changing unhelpful patterns, and learning new ways to respond to difficult situations.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And some therapists specialize in ADHD.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: They might work with clients on procrastination, organization, routines, time management, and other executive function challenges.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been thinking you need coaching because you want practical help, don't automatically rule out therapy.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: A therapist with experience treating adult ADHD may be able to help you with those same everyday challenges, particularly when they're connected to mental health concerns.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: The important difference is that therapists have the professional training and licensing to provide mental health treatment within their scope of practice.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD coaching by itself doesn't provide that kind of treatment.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is where people can get confused because some of the things you talk about in coaching are also things you might talk about in therapy.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take emotions, for example.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, emotions come up in ADHD coaching.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about people's lives, their struggles, their goals, and things they've been frustrated with for years.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: A client might come into a session and tell me that they're disappointed in themselves because they didn't follow through on something.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: They could be embarrassed about how disorganized their house has become or worried about whether they'll be able to handle a new responsibility at work.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're not going to ignore those feelings and pretend that they have nothing to do with the problem that we're trying to solve.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say a client tells me, I was supposed to get started on this project three weeks ago and I still haven't done anything and I'm so frustrated with myself.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: We can absolutely talk about that frustration.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can look at what they're telling themselves about the situation and whether those thoughts are helping them move forward.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: If they're thinking I'm terrible at this, I never follow through on anything, we can slow down and examine whether that's actually true.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: We can also look at what's keeping them from starting the project and figure out what they want to do next.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: That conversation can involve emotions without becoming mental health treatment.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's say the same client is experiencing persistent anxiety, panic attacks, or depression that's interfering with their ability to function.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's a different situation.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Those symptoms need to be assessed and when appropriate, treated by a qualified healthcare professional.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: A coach can be supportive, but support isn't the same as clinical treatment.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And there's overlap in the other direction, too.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Executive function isn't something that belongs exclusively to ADHD coaching.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Therapists who specialize in ADHD can work on planning, follow-through, emotional regulation, and managing daily responsibilities.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the distinction isn't that therapists work with emotions while coaches work with actions.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Both can involve emotions, thoughts, and behavior.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: The difference is the professional's role, their qualifications, and whether the work involves treating a mental health condition or coaching someone through everyday challenges and goals.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at an example that shows why it's helpful to understand what's going on underneath the problem.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine two people who are both missing deadlines at work.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: From the outside, they appear to be having the same issue.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: They're not finishing their projects on time, and it's starting to affect their performance.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: But when we look at what's happening, their experiences are very different.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: The first person has trouble estimating how long projects will take.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: They wait too long to start, get distracted by other responsibilities, and don't always recognize when they're falling behind.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: They know how to do their job.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: They're just having difficulty planning and managing the work.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: An ADHD coach could help them break their projects into smaller steps, improve their time estimates, and create ways to track progress before the deadline becomes urgent.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's look at the second person.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: They understand the project, they have a reasonable plan, but every time they sit down to work, they experience intense anxiety.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: They are so afraid of making a mistake that they spend hours second-guessing themselves.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: They might have panic symptoms, or their anxiety could become so overwhelming that they avoid the project altogether.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: That person needs support with anxiety that's interfering with their ability to work.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: A therapist can assess those symptoms and help treat the underlying problem.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Both people are missing deadlines, but giving them the exact same advice wouldn't necessarily help either one.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we also have to consider that someone could be experiencing both problems.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: They could have difficulty planning because of ADHD and be dealing with anxiety that makes starting even harder.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: In that situation, addressing only one part of the problem might leave the other part unresolved.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: That is why it's useful to look beyond the behavior itself.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling with something, try to understand what's actually making it difficult.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to diagnose yourself or figure out every cause on your own.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's something a qualified professional can help you sort through.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's no rule saying you have to choose one or the other.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: A person can benefit from therapy and ADHD coaching at the same time because the two professionals can be helping with different things.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: For example, you could be working with a therapist on anxiety that's affecting your relationships and your confidence at work.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, you might work with an ADHD coach on managing your schedule, organizing your responsibilities, and following through on your projects.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your therapist is helping you address the mental health concerns while your coach is helping you develop practical strategies for your everyday life.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And those areas can influence each other.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: As you learn to manage your responsibilities more effectively, you could experience less stress around your work.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And as your anxiety improves through treatment, you could find it easier to do the strategies you're developing in coaching.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: The two services can complement each other.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've had coaching clients who were also seeing therapists, and there's nothing unusual about that.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: The important part is that each professional understands their role.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your coach shouldn't be trying to take over the work your therapist is doing, and your therapist doesn't have to handle every aspect of your ADHD just because you're seeing them for mental health support.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: With your permission, professionals can also coordinate when it's appropriate and useful.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: You might also find that your needs change over time.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: There could be periods when therapy is your main priority, and other times when you're ready to focus more on developing skills, pursuing goals, or making changes in your everyday routines.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to make one permanent decision about the kind of support you'll use for the rest of your life.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's another distinction I want to make clear, and that's the difference in professional qualifications and responsibilities.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD coaching is not the same thing as licensed mental health care.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: The title ADHD coach doesn't automatically mean someone has a clinical license or is qualified to diagnose or treat a mental health condition.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Coaches come from different training backgrounds, so it's worth asking about their education, ADHD-specific training, experience, and professional standards.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: A coach can help you work on executive function skills, develop routines, manage your responsibilities, and pursue your goals.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: But coaching credentials alone don't qualify someone to diagnose ADHD, prescribe medicine, or treat mental health disorders.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: An ADHD evaluation or diagnosis needs to come from an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Medication decisions belong with a licensed medical prescriber who has the credentials to provide that care.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And even among therapists or other licensed professionals, specialties and qualifications can vary.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Not every therapist specializes in adult ADHD, and not every mental health license includes the same diagnostic responsibilities.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: When you're looking for someone to work with, it's completely reasonable to ask about their experience and whether the services you need fall within their scope of practice.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: There's one thing I pay particular attention to when it comes to choosing a professional.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do they recognize the limits of what they do?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: A coach should be able to recognize when a client needs mental health treatment and recommend that they seek help from a qualified professional.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And a therapist should be comfortable acknowledging when a particular concern falls outside of their specialty and helping the client find appropriate support.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sign of professionalism.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be more concerned about someone who claims that they can solve every problem than someone who understands their area of expertise and recognizes when another professional would be better suited to help.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we've talked about what coaching does, what therapy does, and where the two overlap.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: How do you actually decide where to start?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: I would begin with a pretty straightforward question.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: What am I struggling with and what help am I looking for?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: If your biggest frustration is that you know what you want to accomplish but can't seem to turn your intentions into action, ADHD coaching could be an option.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: You want help getting started, managing your time, developing routines, following through on projects, or creating systems that fit your life.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Those are all areas where coaching can be useful.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you're dealing with depression, significant anxiety, trauma-related symptoms, or other mental health concerns that are affecting your ability to function, getting an evaluation from a licensed mental health or healthcare professional is the appropriate place to start.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts or you're concerned about your immediate safety, seek urgent mental health support rather than relying on coaching.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you're experiencing both executive function difficulties and mental health symptoms, you may benefit from both services.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I also want to make something clear.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to figure all of this out before reaching out for help.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can talk to a therapist about whether they work with adult ADHD and the practical challenges you're experiencing.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can ask an ADHD coach about their approach, their qualifications, and how they handle situations where a client needs additional support.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: A good professional should be willing to explain what they do, what they don't do, and whether they're a good fit for what you're looking for.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can also ask what a typical session looks like, how progress is evaluated, and what you should expect from working together.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And pay attention to how those conversations feel.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Do they listen to what you're struggling with?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Do they ask questions to understand your situation?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Are they clear about what they can help with?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: You should be able to understand what you're paying for and what kind of support you're going to receive.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's also nothing wrong with deciding that you don't need coaching right now.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: You could be getting plenty of support from therapy, medication, and your existing systems or other resources that you already have in place.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is to find support that fits your needs, not to collect as many professionals as possible.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been trying to decide between an ADHD coach and a therapist, I want you to stop thinking about it as choosing which one is better.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: There are different services and each one has a place.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: What you're looking for is the type of support that addresses what you're dealing with right now.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling with a mental health condition, you deserve care from someone who is qualified to treat it.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you're trying to build skills, follow through on goals, create a more manageable daily life with ADHD, coaching can help you work on those things.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if both areas need attention, you can get support for both.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to have every answer before you reach out.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Start by identifying what you're struggling with and have a conversation with someone who's qualified to help.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Ask questions, find out how they work, and make sure that the support they're offering actually fits your needs.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Getting help with ADHD isn't about finding one person who can fix every part of your life.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's about getting the right support for the challenges you're facing so you can make the changes you want to make.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're going to tackle another question about ADHD coaching.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Does it actually work?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: We'll look at what the research tells us about ADHD coaching, where the evidence is still limited, and what you should realistically expect to get out of working with a coach.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: If from this you've decided that ADHD coaching may be for you, you're welcome to get on a call with me and I want to hear everything that you're dealing with.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I have some questions for you, and I'm open to questions from you.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Just go to LearnThrive with ADHD.com forward slash services, and you can book a consultation with me there.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you all.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next week.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your time today and especially your attention.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you're anything like me, you love to learn.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, though, we can know what to do, but struggle to put it into action without the right support.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's what private ADHD coaching is for to give you the unique support and accountability you need to make the change you know is possible.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Book a free consultation with me today at www.learn to thrive with ADHD.com backslash services.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to meeting you.