Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #331: You’re Still Trying to Prove Your Worth to People Who Aren’t Even in the Room

Transcript

Episode #331: You’re Still Trying to Prove Your Worth to People Who Aren’t Even in the Room · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome to tea time with Amy and BEV.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Welcome back.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: We're back. We say that because we do two or
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: three recordings at a time, so we're like and we're back.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: There's usually stuff's good to talk about. So what's going
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: on with you?
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Oh girl? So many things, not enough to are too
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: many to talk about in one sitting. I think that
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: the one of the biggest things coming up for me
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: right now is, well, this is not the biggest thing.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: This is far from the biggest thing. This is one
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: of the things is not overwhelming myself. So I hear
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: teachers say it frequently. We teach what we need to
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: know or what we need to remember or to remind ourselves.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: And recently I taught a class about basically saying no
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: without feeling. And I've talked about being the president of
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: a nonprofit organization, club or local club, and then once
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: you moved through being the president, expectation is that you
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: then become you participate at the region level and hold
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: some position with the region part of the nonprofit. And
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I have you. There was such a sense of relief
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: when my presidency was over, because there was so much
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: going on and so much I had to stay on
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: top of on a regular basis. I did it. I
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: committed to it because I wanted to commit it to
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: it for the leadership experience to grow my confidence, and
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: it served that purpose and I'm so grateful for it.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: And knowing that my presidency was coming to an end,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I have at that time had other plans of reigniting
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: my coaching and teaching business because I have put that
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: on hold for a year. So that was the direction
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I was moving in before my presidency even ended. Was
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: starting to get that momentum going, and that takes a
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: lot of time and energy. It's something that is actually
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: consuming the time that I have available in my day.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I work on it on my lunch, I work on
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: it after I eat dinner, five six, seven days a week.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I'm working on this business to get the momentum going
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: so it can flourish. Now in that process, I've had
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to make the decision to move to a different platform,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: which I think is going to be super beneficial and
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I'm excited about it. So I'm in that process right
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: now and with all these things, and have a full
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: time job and I have a home life, So with
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: all those components happening, right now. The one of the
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: ladies that's in our in our organ in our club,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: she is on the regional staff, and so she reached
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: out to me about a position and she texted me
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: and I had to sit with it. You know, even
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: though I teach this stuff, I still have moments where
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I still have residual stuff that I see it still
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: need to clear up within myself. So when I saw
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: the text, like I could feel my whole body just
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: go crap. You know, it's like really, and the reason
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: why people reach out to people like us like me.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I see it with my boss, I see it with
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: other people, is because we're knowledgeable. We'll get it done.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: We'll do our best, absolute best to get it done.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: You know, we're good at time managed, whatever that when
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: we commit to something, we get it done. The thing
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: between me and most people is I've done a lot
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: of healing and growth and expansion within myself to know
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: that I don't need to prove myself to anybody. I
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: did the leadership as the club president for me to
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: prove to me I was I could do it for
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: one to I knew it would help build my confidence,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: which it did. Like there were benefits in it for me,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: and I was identifying what those benefits were. Other people
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: will over commit themselves, overwhelm themselves because they're still trying
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: to prove they're good enough for somebody else, Meaning they're
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: still trying to prove their self worth and their value
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to their mom or dad when they were a kid.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: They're still looking for that acceptance, They're still looking for
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: that approval, they're still looking for that love. And I'm like, Nope,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: just proven to myself that I could do it, and
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: then how much that would help me grow as I
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: move forward with my business, which I have to be
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: the leader of and if I have any kind of staff,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I have to be able to lead them. So I am.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I am at a point where like my plate is full.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I know what I can handle. I know I don't
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: do well when I don't get enough sleep. And I
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: had to say, no, I cannot, I can't handle one
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: more thing right now. And did that feel still heavy
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: in my body? Yes? I had to tell her that
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: face to face last night. I'm like, I just I
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: can't commit to this. It's not that I don't think
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I can do it. I know I could do it.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I know I have the skills to do it. It's
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: how much do I value my time right now with
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: what I already have, Because if I say yes to that,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: then I'm saying yes to time and energy being contributed
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: to that, and I'm saying no to something else that's
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: more important to me. So keeping that in mind, when
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: So it was easier for me to say it face
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you know. It's so easy to say it in a text,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: no no, thank you, that's good, you know, I can't,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: but to say it in front of it, face to
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: face to somebody and say no, it's still was like
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: still a little heavy, but at the same time, it
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: was a little more freeing knowing that I could do
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: it because I used my voice and I'm not in
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: that position of having to prove myself to anybody. So
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: it's all an internal is all an internal process.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And even the way you describe your first response
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: when you heard about it, like you just felt like
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: this It wasn't like a ah, it was like it
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: was suppressing you, as driving you down. And of course,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: and I think that's such a valuable lesson because I
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: think a lot of us in life. Always gravitate and
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: do the things that we do or can do because
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: we can do it, period we can do it. Doesn't
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: just because you can do it doesn't mean that's the
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: right path for you. And that's where we have to
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: listen to our bodies and listen to the way we
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: feel about things. Now, I'm not saying that sometimes maybe
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: a fear might have come up and been like, oh God,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I can't do that, but you've already worked your way
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: through that fear. So you have discernment and know that
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: your response is because it's like, it's not this is
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: not your passion, this is not your path, which which
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: as at the same point, it gives someone else the
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: opportunity to step into that place and for it to
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: be their path, for them to be like, I'm going
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: to do the same not maybe not the same exact
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: way that you did it, but I'm going to prove
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: to myself I can do this. I'm going to conquer
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: my emotions. I'm going to conquer my past. I'm going
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: to learn and strive and I can do You know,
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: there's a different fielter things. But you just gave the
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: opportunity to somebody else. And because it wasn't for you.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: This is it wasn't the path for you, Otherwise you
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: would have felt it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And you know, if anybody has ever started anybody lists this,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: who has ever started a business, it takes a lot
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: of time and energy and focus to stay the course,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: to get it done, even get it going, and then
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: you have to have that that's that that or more time,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: energy and focus to keep it going. And that's what
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I need right now. I need that time, that energy,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: and that focus on that to get it going and
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: keep the momentum going. Then there's a point where I
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: could say now I'm ready to take on another position
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: with this organization in a higher level and be more
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: comfortable with it, because then I would know I have
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: that space to be able to do it. But when
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: you're in a startup position with something, no thank you.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I'm still in a position with our club organization where
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: even moving from we have a process of positions that
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: once you have attained the president, then you become a
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: past president and that past president moves into membership for
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: two years. So I am still committed to this club.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I still have a position and a role to play,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: and a startup business and a home life and a
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: full time job. Like somebody hearing all of that would
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, that is way too much.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Now I know I can handle that at that capacity.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I'm okay. I'm okay. I still have time for myself.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I still have time to get things done. It's adding
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: one more thing that I'm like, no, because then I'm
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: not giving one hundred percent to any of it. If
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I wanted to actually give one hundred percent to my business,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I would quit my job. That would then cause stress
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: in my body because of my finances. Right, so I
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: have to keep the ease of my finances and get
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the momentum going with my business with the time and
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: energy I have for it. And you know what, it's okay.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: It's okay as long as I'm comfortable with what I
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: have to do. It's okay for me. It may not
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: be okay for somebody else. But then I see other
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: especially women, who they have three times as much going
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: on in their life, and I look at them and
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, do you even do you even sleep? Like?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Do you just nap throughout the day and just keep
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: going like twenty four set? How do you? I don't know,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: But you know what, it's not for me to know
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: because that's not my path, that's not how I operate,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: and it's okay. So then there's that piece of I
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: could get into comparison to them and think I'm still
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: not doing enough, which leads me back into I need
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: to prove I'm good, I'm worthy, I'm valuable because I
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: need to take on more stuff that's not my story,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: that's not my path. I'm okay with what I got
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: going on right now, and for me to say no, no,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for thinking of me, I don't
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: have the capacity right now I can say any of
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: those and feel relief in my body to be like,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I'm not to girl right now. It's not no forever,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: it's no for now.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I like that you've actually pointed out a few different perspectives.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I like the perspective of when you said that a
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: lot of times, what's happening for when we overextend ourselves,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: we're looking for those kudos and it's not from anybody else,
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: it's from our parents. It's willing to be seen and
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: heard from them. And it's like that's again programming our thoughts,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: perspectives that we carry with us looking for something else
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: and not even realizing that we're doing it. You've got
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: your in an adult body. You're not even in that
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: child mode anymore, or not even that same child anymore.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: You've changed so much, but you're still operating from that
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: space of needing that attention.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I like that. I that was.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Interesting to me. It was a good perspective, and I
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: think a lot of people would understand that as well
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: and maybe stop for a second and recognize it's not
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: you don't have to keep doing that anymore. You can
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: stop it right now.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: You want to know the suckiest part about that that
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: we would still even do that even if our parents
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: were deceased. Oh yeah, we still live from that, that
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: striving to prove I'm good enough, yeah, and that I
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: can do it. Yeah, And no matter what you give
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: me and no matter what I say yes to, I
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: can handle it. Even though I am walking on a
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: very thin line of energy to do it. I will
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: do it. I will push right, I will push through,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: and I will get this done. Girl. I am done pushing.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I am done pushing. I'm done pushing.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, air five on that one, because yeah,
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I'm saying saying I'm done pushing. But when you said that,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I was like, it was a realization. Like when I
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: would do work on my yard or do any of
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: that kind of stuff, it was for that kudos. And
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: it wasn't for kudos from anybody else. It was from
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: wanting it from the parents, wanting to be seen from
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: the parents. And it's not even it's just that's outdated belief.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: System right there.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how freeing is it now? It's like I can
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: go out there and like now when I come out
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: and do the yard work anyways, when I do it,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I'm doing it because I appreciate what I'm doing it.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: That's my therapy, that's my movement, that's my grounding, my piece,
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: my whatever do you want to call it. I get
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: to see an outcome after I finished doing something, so
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: it's nice. Yeah, and I'm the parent giving giving my
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: inner child the kudos.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah, that's exactly it. It's like your own
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: self love and self acceptance. It was for me to
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: acknowledge how well I felt like I did being a
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: club president. That was for me how well my my
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: noticing of the difference in my confidence from a year
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: to year or three years ago to today, that's for
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: me to notice. That's for me to acknowledge. That's for
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: me to have my own internal indicators of how while
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I think I'm doing on the outside, Bev or the
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: women in the organization, or people who haven't seen me
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: a while and seen me like they have. You know,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: we go back to perspective. They have, all of them
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: have their own perspective. There are some people in the
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: club that don't like me. There are some people in
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: the club that think I'm amazing. There are some people
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: who are neutral. But you know what it does, none
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: of it matters. What matters is how I felt about it,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: and I felt like I did a really good job
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: with what we did, what we went through for that year,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: and then I get to take that information and keep
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: moving forward. Am I open to somebody giving me their
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: opinion or you know, constructive criticism, anything that will help
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: me grow and learn and be better. Yes, if you're
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: going to beat me up about something, no, thank you
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: for sharing. I'll take it into consideration. And then when
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: they walk away, I can take it and put in
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: the trash. Because they just need to make somebody miserable.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: They needed to point out the flaws and everybody. You know,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: it depends on the personality, depends on the person, depends
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: on my perspective of the person. But what matters is
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: how I feel about myself. And I knew I was
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: not doing this to prove any to anybody that I
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: could do it except to myself. And the reason why
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I say this and the reason why I'm so strong
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: about it so that anybody who might be new to us.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I have an introverted background. I was the person who
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: didn't want to be called on in class, did not
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: want to give stand up in front of people and
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: give a speech or a book report, did not want
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: any attention on myself. I was the quiet kid in
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: the corner. I would just sit in a room full
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: of people and just sit there and listen and observe.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Like I did not have the voice that I have today,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: meaning being able to share my words. If we would
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: have done this thirty years ago, this, No, we wouldn't
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: be doing this. We just know that Bev knows that
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Bev knows that about herself, we wouldn't be doing this.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: So it's taken a lot for me to be where
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I am, and then to be as a club president
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: of over almost fifty women who majority have a type personalities.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: That's scary. That is scary for an introvert. No matter
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: how much growth I've done in myself. The first three
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: months of running meetings, I was shaking in my body.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: But then I kept doing it over and over and
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: over again, and there was more ease and more confidence,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: and more ease and more confidence, and then by the
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: end of the year, I was like, Wow, this is
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: actually way easier than I had perceived at the beginning. Yeah,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: but I had to move through it. I had to
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: have the experience. And now it's easy for me to
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: get up in front of a group of city officials,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: other business owners, other organization leaders and speak like I
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: can do that now. My practice now is as the
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: audience gets bigger, there's still some some internal processing to
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: do to know that I am safe and I am
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: okay and I can do this, because it's still as
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: the audience gets bigger, more bodies, more judgment and criticism
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: as possible, and so it's still an internal process of
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter, it's okay, it doesn't matter, it's okay. It's
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: what I believe I can do and what I am
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: capable of doing.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Nice I liked it, So.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: Saying no without feeling guilty. It takes practice. It's not
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: it's not a one and done. Some people are really
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: good at it. I'm still practicing too, but most people
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: struggle with it. Yeah, And a lot of times they
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: will say if they do say no, then they'll backtrack
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: and cause say no, you know what, I can do
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: it because the guilt gets them so strongly. They will
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: still give it to doing it because now, well, it
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: also is disappointment. By me saying no to somebody, Then
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: my fear is I'm going to disappoint them about me,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: And so disappointment will get us drag us down too.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: And it's not a disappointing that person. It's disappointing mom
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: and dad. It's disappointing the adults from our childhood. We
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: can't disappoint people because then we don't feel loved and accepted.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: So people need to experience disappointment. This is part of
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: our growing too. I've been disappointed thousands of times in
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: my life and I got through it and it helped
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: me and I learned from it. Right, So all the
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: experiences that we have is for each of us to
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: help us learn and grow within ourselves or you know,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: either remain a victim to your circumstances and your belief
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: becomes Everybody disappoints me. Why do Why do I even
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: try to have friendships or relationships because I'm just going
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: to get disappointed anyway. No, it's for you to internally
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: learn and grow and know that relationships can be safe
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: when you're safe within yourself, when you already love and
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: accept yourself. Me, disappointing somebody is not my responsibility. If
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I say something to BEV and it disappoints her to me,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like she needs to do the work around.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Why is she feeling disappointed about me? What did I do?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: When we go back to perspectives, I think I'm doing
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: the right thing for myself. I'm saying I'm telling this
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: person no because I'm doing something for myself so that
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I don't get overwhelmed, so I don't drop the ball
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: on something else that I'm working on or committed to,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: so I don't feel restricted on my time and energy.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: And if she feels disappointed in me because I said no,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: that's not on me. That's her perspective, and that's what's
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: something she has to move through. True so just had
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: to throw that out there too, because that's a big
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: piece of it also as well.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: And we do a disservice by agreeing to other things
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: that people want to do and not listening to our
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: own feelings because we're we're going to disappoint them or
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: let them down or we feel guilty. We're doing a
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: disservice because they have an opportunity for their own growth.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: And there's a reason why that's coming up, and it's
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: it's just, really, I feel strongly about when your first
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: reaction when you feel something that's really lets you know
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: a lot of things, you can set with it, But
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: when you set with it and you're trying to convince
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: yourself to go do something out of guilt, out of expectation,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: whatever it may be, it's like we really need to
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: sit back and really pay attention to how we feel
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: about things and then make those decisions and not just
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: do it for somebody else.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely so AnyWho, It's eleven eleven love that I
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: love it. I love that number. Bed and I are
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: here every week, not really, a recording is released every
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: week of us. We record every two to three weeks
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: and then we put a recording out every week. We've
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: been doing it for over six years at this point,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: and so there's lots and lots of videos that are available.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Even though we look and maybe have sounded a little
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: different back six years ago, I would say majority of
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: the conversations we have had over the years are still
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: relevant today. It's not a just at that time, it's
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: a it's a continuous learning and growing process. And of
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: course the deeper conversations we have today are not the
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: same conversations we were having then, But even then, the
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: content is still relevant. So you can go back as
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: far as you want, you'll see how we have changed physically,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: especially me, over the years. So anyway, I think it's
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: just fun to look back on those videos and see
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: where we were and where we are today. But anyway,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: having said that, we come here, we have organic conversations
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: and you can find us on many platforms. We're on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Speaker, Spotify, podcast, Attic,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: and YouTube. So whether this is for you, or you
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: listened and you know of somebody who it may be
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: beneficial for, please share it the resource, whether it's our
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: videos or somebody else that you're getting information or content
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: from that would be helpful for somebody. This is one
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: of the gifts I have. I remember people of maybe
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: things are moving through or looking for and I'll come
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: across something and I'll forward it onto them and be like, hey,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: you might be interested in this. I don't give them
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: any content or information. It's like, hey, you might be
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: interested in this. So and what they do with the
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: information is their business. It's not for you to keep
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: following up on or anything like that. It's you are
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: just being the resource and passing the information along with
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: the yat thanks for hanging out with us. Tea time
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: in it with Amy and Bev. You could have been
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: doing anything else with your time and you hung out
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: with us, So thank you for that. Do you have
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: any final words, Bev?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I would say time, take time for yourself. You gotta
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: take time for yourself. You got to explore you.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: And make sure you have the time for yourself.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, it's true. Otherwise, how do you discern, just
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: like we were talking about earlier, how do you discern
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Oh I had this emotional response to this. Why did
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I have that emotional response? Half the time you get
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: too busy and it's like, well, I'll just go ahead
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: and do it anyways because I don't want to put
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: anybody off or whatever. Take time for yourself, take some
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: breaths before you make a decision before you respond.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Awesome, Thank you so much. Thank you for being here, Bev,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: and thank you for the audience and we appreciate you
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: and we'll see you next time. Tea time with Amy
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: and Bev.