Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why some narcissists will do "whatever it takes" to win you back

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Why some narcissists will do "whatever it takes" to win you back · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are talking about how some narcissist will do
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  anything, anything to win you back if you're new here.
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  My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to episode 989 of
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  the Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  I'm good. The self love brand is still on
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  and thriving. I love me.
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  The self Love brand link is in. The link is in the description
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  of every video and podcast that I do.
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  So yes, y'all, yes yes, yes. Some narcissists, not all, will
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  do whatever it takes to win you back.
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  And I mean whatever it takes. Some of them like, yeah, yeah,
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  when I say what they will do whatever it takes to win you
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  back. Yes, it's hoovering, sucking you
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  back into the relationship, but it's also to keep you around, to
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  stay within your, to keep you within their orbit.
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  Because we, we, we know narcissistic people have to be
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  the center of the universe with the great, greatest
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  gravitational pull, right. So narcissistic people want to
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  keep you in their orbit. They want to keep you circling
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  around them, circling, circling around them in some way, shape
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  or form, right? So that happens all the time.
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  This is one of those things that a lot of narcissists and toxic
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  people will do. They want to keep you in their
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  orbit, right? They want to keep you around.
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  They want to keep you here. They want to keep you like they
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  they want to keep you all around it.
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  Like. So you said.
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  They just want to keep you so they can have access to you in
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  some way, shape or form. But a lot of narcissistic
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  people, when you decide that, when you decide that you are
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  done, when you decide that you are finished, when you decide
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  that you are finito, you've had enough.
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  This relationship has ran its course and they feel like you
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  have. They will, yeah, some of y'all
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  know this. They will do whatever it takes
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  or make promises to do whatever it takes to win you back.
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  They'll promise to do whatever you have been asking them to do
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  before. Like whatever they have,
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  whatever you they have been asking them, you have been
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  asking them to do whatever changes that you've been asking
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  them to make for maybe years. I wish you would stop drinking.
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  I wish you would stop drinking. I wish you would stop smoking.
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  I wish you would stop cheating. I wish you would stop lying.
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  I wish you would stop doing this.
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  They'll automatically, somehow, some way, shape or form, find
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  the strength to stop doing it, to win you back.
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  You see what I'm saying? They'll all of a sudden, like,
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  you know what? I know I drank a lot.
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  But I love you more handshaking the whole time because you know
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  it's manipulation. The handshaking and wobbling.
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  Like, do you. Do you have arthritis?
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  No, no, no. It's love.
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  Love makes my handshake like this.
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  I don't need this alcohol. I don't need it.
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  I need you. I love you.
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  I don't need to drink anymore, you know what I'm saying?
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  You see what I'm saying, though? But that's how they do it.
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  Oh, I sent some energy for these videos.
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  Y'all. Thank Y'all for being here.
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  Seriously. But yeah, they will promise you
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  to do whatever it takes. Magically.
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  They can stop drinking. They've been drinking for 20
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  years. You mean they might not be
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  Alcoholics, but they just been drinking for 20 years.
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  And when they drink, they get aggressive.
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  When they drink, they lose their minds When they drink, They do
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  this when they drink, they do that When they drink.
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  They're yeah, they're intolerable, intolerable when
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  they drink, Right. So what happens is, like, soon
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  as they you cut them off or you completely want to be done with
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  them, they'll automatically flip a switch.
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  You know what I mean? You've been asking them to fix
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  the garage or build a deck or spend more time with the kids or
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  what have you been asking? Spending more time with you.
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  Whatever you've been asking them to do, all of a sudden they have
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  it. Now they have it in abundance.
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  If they liked it before, now they have it in abundance.
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  You never listen to me. I'm all ears.
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  Somehow. Somewhat, yeah.
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  Somehow. Their ears go from their ears go
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  from normal size to this big. Now they now have these big ass
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  radio ears. Now I'm all ears for you, babe.
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  I listen to anything you have to say.
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  And This is why I tell y'all it's manipulation.
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  Do some people fall for this? Yes, absolutely.
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  Because they're telling you what you want to hear, right?
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  But it's not what they really want to do.
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  And Lily, how do you know it's manipulation?
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  Because they do it so quick. Yeah, I, and this is my one of
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  my thought processes right here on this fast change.
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  Fast forced change typically isn't real, especially if they
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  really don't want to do it. Especially if you don't have to
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  tell them what to do. Like if you break up with them,
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  like you decide to break up with them, go.
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  No contact with them. All of a sudden they're sending
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  you text messages about going to, finally going to go to
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  therapy, finally stopping and drinking, finally they cut off.
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  They cut off their exes. They don't want to talk to their
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  ex anymore. That shows you y'all, this is
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  how this is how you know it's manipulation.
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  That shows you right there, right there, that this person is
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  manipulative because they already know what it takes to
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  make you happy. They already know what it takes
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  to to win you back. So they just flip the switch on.
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  That right there should show you proof positive that this is in
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  fact a form of manipulation. It may not seem like it, and
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  that's me being real with you. It may not seem like it's
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  manipulation because of the different angles and a different
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  thought process that goes into it, but it is in fact
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  manipulation. It just is because they turn it
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  on so fast and y'all just look just as fast as they turn it on.
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  They can turn it off like a like a water spicket, like they
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  turning the spicket on and then they turn the spicket off.
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  They can turn it on and off. That's manipulation.
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  I'll do whatever it takes to win you back.
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  Yo, if you ever hit that turn right there, I'll do whatever it
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  takes. It's not what they really want
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  to be doing. They're saying I'll do whatever
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  it takes to win you back, right? To win you back, right?
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  That means that there's not necessarily what they want to
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  do. They don't really want to be
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  doing it. They're just doing whatever it
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  takes to win you back. To get you to fall back in love
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  with them, to get you to drop your guard, to get you to, to
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  unfile, to drop the divorce, to get you to unblock them.
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  They're doing whatever it takes. And then when they get their
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  needs met, surprise, they switch it up on you.
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  That's what I was just telling you with these videos.
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  I'm trying to wake more people up to just let you understand,
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  like, surprise it was fake. Surprise the they didn't really
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  want to be doing this. Surprise, they gotcha.
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  Gotcha's gonna get you, you know, That's why I tell people
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  now it's time to wake up and stop being, you know, it's it's
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  it's sleepy time. No, I know it's raining outside
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  right now in North Carolina. It's raining.
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  It's just sleepy, cozy time, right?
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  But it's time to wake up. Because it's raining outside
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  Doesn't mean you can't go outside and enjoy the weather.
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  Enjoy the rain, Enjoy God's gift of the rain.
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  Now you see what I'm saying? That's why I tell so many people
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  y'all. I just try to help wake people
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  up. I don't try to break up families
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  and destroy relationships. Lee Hammock If you see your
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  girlfriend watching the Lee Hammock video, your relationship
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  is over. Why?
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  When people say that somebody sent me a message and said that.
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  But why? Why does it have to be over?
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  Because you see them watching my video.
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  Your boyfriend or whoever. You see them watching my video,
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  you automatically assume your relationship is over because of
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  me. And y'all blame me.
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  They'd be blaming me for the relationship in there.
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  Lee, you did this to me, You bastard.
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  You. You woke up my partner.
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  What? You mad at me for waking them
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  up? You wanted to manipulate them
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  for the rest of their life. Yeah.
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  Yes, I did, Lee. Damn it, I did.
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  You ruined that. They treat me like they treat
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  trying to treat me like a scooby-doo villain.
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  And I wouldn't. I'm treating them like a
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  scooby-doo villain. Like, no, they treated me like I
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  am. I lead the Mystery Squad, right?
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  And they are the villain, the scooby-doo.
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  I unmask them like, what are you doing this for?
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  And I would have gotten away with it.
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  It wasn't for that Metlin Lee Hammock in his narcissistic
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  videos. What?
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  Is it my fault? It's not me.
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  It's on me. Huh.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's why I'm trying to help
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  wake people up. Because yeah, if they if now,
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  they wait till the end to do whatever it takes.
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  It's not what they want to do. This is the fake person.
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  If somehow, someway, shape or form y'all they flip a switch
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  and become the person you fell in love with.
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  Because that's what happens a lot of times.
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  They become the person you originally fell in love with.
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  All of a sudden the person you, you missed this person and all
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  of a sudden they're back right here in the house.
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  The person that love bombed you is back, and you missed this
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  person. So yeah, it's I.
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  Understand you. Fallen for them.
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  It's understandable. But now you have to take your
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  power back in this space in order to do this stuff.
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  Like, you know, if you keep giving it, like, yeah, if they
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  turn the switch on and off, on and off, you leave and come
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  back, you leave and come back, You leave and come back, you
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  leave and come back. They know they have to do
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  minimal effort to get you to come back.
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  So in this situation right here, you can't change them.
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  You can't change them. The only thing that you have
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  control over changing is yourself and what you're willing
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  to tolerate. Control the controllables.
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  What are you in control of? Who are you in control of?
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  Me. I have autonomy over myself.
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  Even though they make, even though they make me feel like I
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  don't have no autonomy. I do.
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  I have autonomy over myself. I do this.
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  I do that. There's so many things that's
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  going on. I'm just telling you this.
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  This is the whole different space to be in.
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  So now it's time to wake up and understand that you are in
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  control. I'll do whatever it takes to get
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  you back. Please let me win you back.
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  I'm going to win you back. I promise you.
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  I'm going to win you back. Even though I'm in a new
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  relationship, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you
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  back. What?
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  What I'm out you like if you have to choose between, yeah.
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  If you have to choose between me and them, go ahead and choose
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  them. I ain't competing for your love.
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  Hell, no. Because you always throw that in
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  my face. You always throw that in my
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  face. If you have to choose between me
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  and them, and you choose me, then you always throw that in my
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  face. I should have picked the other
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  one. I knew I made a mistake by
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  picking you. I knew I made a mistake by
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  choosing you. I knew it.
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  I knew it. You'll never hear the end of
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  that. Y'all.
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  So if you were competing for their love with somebody else
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  and then they end up picking you, you will never hear the end
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  of them. Hear the end of that.
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  I don't care what they had to do to win you back.
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  You will still never hear the end of that just because they
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  look, I'm. I'll end it with this right
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  here. Y'all just because they fought
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  hard to win you back does not mean that they look at you as
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  the prize. They still look at themselves as
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  the prize. So winning you back makes them
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  feel like a champion. I did it.
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  I cheated on them and I won them back.
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  I'm the man here. Or the woman or the person.
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  I'm I'm them. I'm him.
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  You see what I'm saying? They celebrate the victories.
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  So even though they won you back, they are.
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  They themselves are the champion.
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  They themselves get to hoist the trophy.
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  They are the champion. You see what I'm saying?
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  They feel like it's a victory to win you back, no matter y'all
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  the worst. They treat you and then they win
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  you back, win you back. That's a victory amongst that's
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  a victory beyond victories. They feel amazing.
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  They feel absolutely amazing. They feel like they just super
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  energetic for winning you back. Damn, I cheated 14 times and
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  they took me back. Time for you to win.
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  It's time for you to look at yourself as the prize.
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  You are the trophy. You are the prize.
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  Anyways, y'all make sure you subscribe to my newsletter if
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  you haven't. My video series about
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  understanding narcissistic abuse, The Seven Fate The Seven
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  Phase of Narcissistic Abuse is coming out soon.
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  Be dropping that in. My newsletter link is in the
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  description every video and podcast.
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  Spotify. Appreciate everyone of y'all Out
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  peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
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  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
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• 12:51
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  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.