Latest / Baby's First 100 Days with Dr. Roma Franzia / After 26 Years as a Pediatrician, Here's What Actually Calms a Crying Baby

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After 26 Years as a Pediatrician, Here's What Actually Calms a Crying Baby · Baby's First 100 Days with Dr. Roma Franzia

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If your baby just ate and an hour later they're rooting, sucking their hands, and acting hungry again, don't assume they need more milk.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the most common things I see new parents get confused about because a newborn can look incredibly hungry when something completely different is going on.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you keep responding to every one of those signals with another feeding, you can actually make a fussy baby even more uncomfortable.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Roma Francia.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've cared for tens of thousands of newborns over more than 30 years, and there's one very simple way I help parents figure out what their baby is actually asking for.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Once you know what to look for, those is my baby hungry again moments become a whole lot easier.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Babies love to suck.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing I want you to understand is that babies are born loving to suck.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: They were doing it before they ever met you inside the womb with their hands or finger.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can see babies sucking their fingers or hands on the ultrasound, and at that point they are not sucking because someone forgot to feed them.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: All of their nutrition is coming through the umbilical cord.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sucking is simply something newborns know how to do, and it is incredibly soothing to them.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: That is why I am a big fan of pacifiers.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know there are all kinds of opinions about pacifiers, and new parents come into my office worried that they are going to do something wrong if they use one.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: But when I look at a newborn, I see a baby who had just left this very contained, very familiar environment and is now trying to figure out an entirely new world.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: They want to touch, they want to be held, they want to hear your voice, and they want to suck.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So when I see a baby bringing the hands toward the mouth, rooting around, or looking for something to suck on, I do not immediately say, oh, that baby needs another feeding.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know what happened at the last feeding first.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Was it a full good feeding?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is the question I ask parents all the time.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: When did your baby eat?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And did your baby actually have a good feeding?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because those are two different questions.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Your baby may have breastfed for 10 or 15 minutes on each breast and really settled into the feeding, or maybe they took a bottle, stopped sucking, relaxed, and clearly had enough.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes the feeding wasn't really complete.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: They fell asleep after a few minutes, or mom's milk is still coming in and everybody is still figuring this out.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: If I do not think the baby had a good feeding, then yes, I may tell you to feed the baby.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: I do not want parents getting so attached to a schedule that they ignore the baby sitting right in front of them.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: But if you tell me, no, Dr.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Roma, this baby ate, this baby had a very good feeding, an hour later we are doing this all over again, then I start thinking differently.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because now I know the stomach is already full of milk and the digestive system is working on bringing the milk from the stomach into the intestines.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my goals with newborns is to give that digestive system some time to do its job.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: In my practice, I generally like babies to receive milk approximately every three hours during the daytime.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this is where people get very nervous because they think I am saying you have to put a newborn on some rigid little clock.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, I am saying that when a baby has eaten well, I like to give the stomach some peaceful time to digest or empty the milk into the intestines before we fill it up again.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what happens with a new parent.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: The baby eats, an hour later, the baby starts fussing and sucking.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: The parent thinks hungry and they feed again.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Then the baby gets uncomfortable and starts crying because it didn't digest the milk with the acid, so now we're feeding again with more acid.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And because feeding settled the cry for a few minutes the first time, what does the parent do?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: They feed again.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And pretty soon you have a baby who is getting milk over and over because every time the baby asks for comfort, we are answering with food.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this isn't good because more and more acid is being produced in response to the milk, causing heartburn.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then the parents come in saying, My baby is so gassy, my baby is spitting up, my baby seems uncomfortable after every feeding.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'm not trying to figure out how to get more milk into the baby, I'm trying to figure out how to give the baby comfort they are asking for without automatically making it another milk feeding.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Try the simplest thing.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say your baby had a good feeding.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, an hour later they are fussy and looking to suck.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing I would try is simply the pacifier.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hold your baby, talk to your baby, maybe put them skin to skin.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Give them the pacifier and see what happens.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Some babies settle immediately because that was all they wanted.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: They did not want another meal.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to suck and know where they are in space.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is where parents start learning something very important about their own child.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because now you are not just reacting to every movement.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: You are watching, you are asking, okay, what happens if I do this?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And your baby gives you the answer.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes the pacifier is not enough.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: The baby still wants something more.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: They want to suck, they are fussy, and I know they have already had a good feeding of milk.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I use something that families in my practice know very well.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I call it Dr.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Roma's water pacifier.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: My water pacifier is very simple.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I brew a cup of organic chamomile tea, let it cool completely, and put it into the baby's bottle.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I will often add some gripe water.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: The ones I use may contain things like fennel, ginger, chamomile, and lemon.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I offer that in between the milk feeds.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: The important thing I want parents to understand is that I'm not using this as the baby's nutrition.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm merely using this to pacify the baby that wants something a little bit more than just a suck.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is something I use when I know the baby has already eaten and still wants sucking and soothing.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I call it a water pacifier.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: The bottle gives the baby the sucking they are looking for and the baby gets something soothing while I am allowing the stomach with all the acid and milk time to digest before the next feeding.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a new parent and this is helping you breathe a little easier, subscribe.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to keep sharing the little things I teach families in my practice every day that I wish every new parent knew.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: If the baby takes the water pacifier, sucks for a little while, settles down, and becomes peaceful, wonderful.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have learned something.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: That baby did not necessarily need another full feeding.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: That baby needed help settling.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if the baby is still crying, still frantic, and still not settling, then I keep going.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Was the last feeding really complete?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Could they actually still be hungry?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do they need a diaper chain?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Have they pooped?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are they too hot or uncomfortable?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And if all those things look fine, then I start thinking about what I call fussy time and whether this baby needs a different kind of sensory support.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I tell parents there is no one signal that means one thing every single time.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your baby is not an apt.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your baby does have one little button that says hungry and another one that says tired.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: You have to learn your baby, and that takes a little time.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it really is hunger.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I do not want you to become afraid to feed your baby.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: If your baby truly seems hungry, feed them, especially in those first few days when breastfeeding is still getting established.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I tell mothers all the time, breastfeed your baby, and if they are still clearly hungry afterward, supplement.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Use express milk if you have it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Use formula if you need it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I personally prefer goat milk formula.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: The baby needs to eat, but watch what happens during and after that feeding.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Did they really eat well?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Did they relax afterward?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Did they seem satisfied?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: If they did and shortly afterward they are looking to suck again, I am much more likely to try comfort first.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: If they never really settle, they keep searching, they refuse the pacifier, nothing else is working, then I start wondering whether that feeding was actually enough.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I mean when I say watch your baby.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: The numbers are helpful, but your baby gives you information too.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: If there is one thing I wish every first-time parent could learn faster, it is this.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to know immediately what every cry means.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: You are going to learn.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Your baby is going to teach you.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: You try something, you watch, and you see what happens.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: That is parenting.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And please stop thinking you can mess this whole thing up because you misunderstood one cry or gave the pacifier when the baby wanted milk.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Newborns are remarkably resilient.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: They are built to survive, and it's very difficult to mess up.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: You are learning them, and they are learning you.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: So the next time your baby has just had a good feeding and 30 minutes or an hour later they start rooting and second again.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Do not immediately assume my baby is starving.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, did my baby have a good feeding?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Could my baby simply want to suck?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Will they settle with the pacifier?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do they need to be held?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you use this approach I use with my families, this is when you can try the water pacifier and see what your baby tells you.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes your baby needs another feeding, and sometimes they need the comfort of sucking while their stomach finishes doing its job.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what if you know the baby ate, you tried the pacifier, you tried the water pacifier, and the baby is still unhappy?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Watch this video next where I talk you through my checklist.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you will understand what your baby is trying to tell you, newborn crying becomes a lot less frightening.