Latest / The Living Waters Podcast / Ep. 258 - How to Handle Emotional Pain

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Ep. 258 - How to Handle Emotional Pain · The Living Waters Podcast

• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that when we recognize that people have committed time in showing that they care, I think for most of us that means a lot and it again can be one of those healing bombs.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I remember, after my dad passed, my dear friend Thomas Pertel, good friend of ours, you know he.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: He wrote a poem about, about my dad and again, just going into glory, that that what was is no more.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: But now things have like transformed from his pain as anguish to suffering, to to this temporal life and man it.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: What touched me?
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: First of all?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: The poem deeply touched me, but what touched me on top of that was the time he took to do it.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: What does a tortoise think about all day?
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: That hit me this morning.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just running around and things like that.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I mean seriously you think about it a tortoise.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Those things live up to 150 years.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: What yeah?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: you don't know that.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: So what you're saying is, we should move slowly, you know what I honestly believe.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: that was one of the secrets of my dad's longevity he moved very slowly.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to move quickly because I don't want to live to 112.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: 13 13.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: My son has a box turtle.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: He just got it last year.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, one of my favorite pets of all time was my turtle growing up.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: You had a turtle, yeah, and it had, like I remember we had a little.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: It had a little license like sticker, license plate, it's like serial number or whatever.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: But we went to a tortoise farm and picked it out.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Have you ever had turtle soup?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I knew that was coming up.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying I thought it's going to come up.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Hold on, that's not a real thing, of course.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: It is Seriously.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, oscar choke.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: So they take a turtle, but a sea turtle.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Now we have to remember, right, because people always call tortoises turtles.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: They're different.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: You know that, oscar?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Did you know that, oscar?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: There's turtles?
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: No, which is a cross between a turtle when I've got turtle soup in a restaurant.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: You know what Can they cross a sea turtle and a tortoise.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Mark, look it up.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Just real what I was going to say.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: When I've ordered turtle soup, it's taken so long, I couldn't even finish.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: it Takes so long to serve me.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: There's turtles, there's tortoises and then there's ninja turtles.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, just to be clear.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Well, I was thinking about that.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Why wasn't it like Teenage Mutant Ninja, weasels or Hamsters?
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Those were like my favorite comic books growing up.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: In cartoon, yeah, but then it was dumb.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: It's really Spider-Man.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Who would have thought that I'm going to have a hero called Spider-Man?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: That's stupid.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but-.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Everything that becomes common, though, right, it's like, of course, Spider-Man we're talking about.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: They're very popular in New Orleans, in fact, there's a tortoise Soup.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: No, yeah, take your tortoise, cut off the head and the feet and boil them in fair water.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: No, when they're almost completely boiled, add some white wine, some sweet herbs and some bacon.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: That sounds so wrong, yeah, but no harm was done to the tortoise.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: But my, I mean you know you.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: You hear that my mind rolls back To my little beautiful tortoise.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I know it's sad.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: Look, there's one person At this table that would try anything, and that is Oscar.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Oscar's willing to try anything once.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Oscar, why it's true?
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Why do you do that?
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: I feel like I you know Sounds interesting.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Just do it.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: So, izzy, yeah, why don't you fess up?
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Why don't you fess up, why don't you confess what happened on Saturday night?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: You ate the turtle.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: What happened Saturday day?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: See, you're in denial.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, the keys, the keys.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Let me just give a, you can finish it off.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: I want to hear this yeah, yeah, we're over at Easy's house relatives over from New Zealand and Easy comes up and Sue's car wasn't parked correctly and Easy, being a perfectionist, wanted to park the car correctly so he said can I borrow your keys?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: So we gave Easy the keys and five minutes later, or three minutes later, he came back because he's a perfectionist, does everything right and returned the keys.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, two hours later we got to leave and Sue says I can't find my keys.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: And so I say Easy gave them to you.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I saw him.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: He's a man of integrity, he returned those keys.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: It's done, it's gospel.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: And I said let me check your bag.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: So I checked the bag.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I got in, turned it inside out.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: It was nowhere Pulled up Cushions off the seats and everywhere.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Easy.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: To finish the story, yeah, well, look, I'm hesitant to finish it because I might be.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: You can tell because you're stuttering.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Well, I then might be culpable for theft, because I went back into mom Sue's purse and took the keys out, because Daniel had to leave and or Becky and the kids and I had to back the car out so they can go.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: So I did that.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Then I came back and I put the keys in our key drawer, so we could.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: no wonder we couldn't find them.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: How long were you looking?
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, for ages had everyone looking for the keys.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: like looking everything up, so he puts the keys out and in.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: He puts the keys in the key drawer.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Now, if I'd have done that, you would have started a rap.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: This is true.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: The keys, and the birds, and the trees, and the flowers and the trees, whatever.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: But no, you get away with it.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Well, but I wasn't.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: You were late for our meeting?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: No, it doesn't count.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So this morning we had our regular weekly staff meeting and it's at nine o'clock, but something happened in my brain and I came in here at 10 o'clock.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I came in here at nine o'clock but something happened in my brain and I came in here at 10 o'clock.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I came in here at nine o'clock thinking we were doing a podcast.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: So I run out, I look at my watch, I'm like, ah, and I made it into the boardroom where we're supposed to meet, but they weren't done doing stuff in there and so technically I am on time.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: You know I walked in the lounge.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: No, technically you were not on time.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I was because.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: I was the meeting place, I would never be late.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you that's like if I showed up at, if I was like at, the gas station at 9 am and I'm like called you and I'm like, hey, I thought the meeting was at the gas station at 9 am.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: Therefore, I'm on time.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I lead the meetings.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I decide where they're at.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: That's where they were supposed to Look who's talking.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: You came in, put your laptop down and then walked out for like 10 minutes I pulled an easy.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: No, I don't do that.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: All right, you're terrified of dying because we're going to say the late Emile Swain.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: That's going to freak you out, or my son.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: Nathaniel has a good nickname for easy.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: It was hey, did you see eat a meal Swain.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Eat a meal instead of email.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Eat a meal.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: He's going to pay for that, Mark Very dearly so clever.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, mr Mark.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: All right, france.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Wait, I was going to say some other stuff, you don't have to.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Mark the perfect man and some sun.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: Thank you?
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is what I was asking which creature do you guys think most resembles each of us?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Turtles, turtles, turtles.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: If you were to pick a creature For, ourselves.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I'd say squirrel for me.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: No for Squirrel.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, you'd be a toad.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: What are those animals with the really big eyes?
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: Look.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I wrote it down.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the ones that live at night.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I wrote it down for me the Tarsier.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: It's called the Tarsier.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: It's just little, is it?
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: It's the one with the big, huge eye.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, we had one in one of our movies.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I think Did we?
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I'll put it in.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Evolution versus.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: God.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: No, it was the other one.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: No, the the Atheist.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Delusion yeah, that's right.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: I German Shepherd Too soon.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, the thing is just back to Atheist Delusion.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: There was a flash of lightning and that's when that little thing opened its eyes.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's right.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was very well edited.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Looked very much like me.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I would say Mark is a and this is creature, not just an animal, but giraffe.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: No, daddy, long legs.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Daddy long legs, Mark.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: You have the longest legs on the planet.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I used to call you that back in the day when you played basketball.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Put them up on the table, show them Oscar's a lion because of the mane.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Oscar's a lemur, lemur, yeah, just jumping around excited about life, and I think they eat disgusting coffee beans.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Sounds like an ingenious animal, I think.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Sounds good.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: And then Ray, of course, is a gnat.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I Sounds good.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: And then Ray, of course, is a gnat.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: I knew that was coming up, though.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: What are we building?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Why am I going?
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: to be last.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm really a lion, but I'll go with it.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Tarsier, all right, france, you know what?
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Speaking of animals, Hyena.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: For the first time in my life Boy, that has some history.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: But for the first time in my life I cried at a cat video.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: What?
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I know it was a set there goes my man card, but you guys would cry too.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: It just broke my heart, man.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: It's this cat that was crippled or deformed and its arms, its paws were up like this and it couldn't bring him down and it was crawling on the ground and eating food, and eating food oh and eating food and I hate cats, yeah, but it shows there is some sort of pity and it just broke me.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I cried like a stupid well I, I cried.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Let me share my cat crying episode.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I was riding my bike and I saw a cat after a car drive I think I mentioned this recently leaping around with great joy and it's just been run over by its owner and it was in its death throes and it just made me break down.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's horrible I went to follow the car to tell him he'd run over his cat, and I thought he's not gonna be too happy.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: He got away from me, ah, but that was horrible.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: So fallen, fallen world.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So today we're talking about depression and I know let's start with killing cats so now you're in the mood for our topic all right friends, here's a comment.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: This is from what's up.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: What's up with a bunch of dollar signs?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Uh, wholesome is a subject line.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I truly believe that this podcast does more than bring information to us, but also demonstrates how being aligned to god's will produces wonderful fruits.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Ray, your ability to digest the word has helped me.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Helped with deeper understanding of the word.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Oscar.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: The way you bring practicality makes the moments of but how do I apply this?
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: A great starting point.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: To go from Easy the humility, Ah yes, Wait what he?
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: misspelled your name.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I think he meant yell, they need to listen to more podcasts.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: He meant starting your name I think he meant yell they need to listen to more podcasts.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: He meant Scotty, yes, easy.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: The humility I see in you has helped jumpstart.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: He's blind.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Very, very insightful Jumpstart, a deep inner reflection I never realized I was poorly lacking in, and made me see that it is such an important part of being a husband slash father slash.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Christian Mark, I look forward to your words of balance and how it helps deepen these conversations.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Christian Mark, I look forward to your words of balance and how it helps deepen these conversations.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I thank God for providing us with tools like this to get to know him and his will better, and we'll keep you guys constantly in prayer.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Ps.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Amazon has iPad cases with collapsible stands.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Ray might save his iPad from destruction.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: He has one that was written before the CAD episode.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, things are going to change now.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you, dear friend.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Wazz up with a bunch of dollar signs.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: By the way, everything's collapsible when it's in easy or raise hands.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: No, this is actually I figured out how to do it.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Is it working?
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: It doesn't collapse anymore.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: There's a magnet in there.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Once I got the magnet on the right side, it stopped collapsing.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, sophisticated people call it a magné.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: All right, friends.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: This podcast is brought to you by the Volt.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: The Volt 100 Gospels of John with a million-dollar bill cover.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Get right money.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: People like money.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: We're fishermen.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Got to reach the greedy people with money.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I would be in jail now if I wasn't a Christian, I would have invented something to do with money.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: You would have been a counterfeit, oh for sure, yeah.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: So yeah, the vault friends, you get a hundred of those little gospel Johns.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: They're really small Again, the size of like a, a bill, a US bill, dollar bill, a hundred dollar bill, and they got the gospel in them with a little message from Ray.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Don't forget the Living Waters mug M-U-G for you and your family.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Don't forget the evidence study Bible I don't want to rhyme that with libel, so I won't and get it all at livingwaterscom.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oscar, my matcher All right frowns.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Today we are talking about I had to handle emotional pain that people are probably feeling From that opener Feeling right now.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, emotional pain, man, whoa Throat pain, already, it's happening.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Just quit smoking.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to tell him, I think there's something I inhale from my microphone all the time.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: We put it.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: We put it in there.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: He found the poison.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I knew it, you did.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: He wrought us but you know, I I've said this in the past and I I've shared it with people and it seems to really resonate, and that is that sometimes you almost would prefer to have a limb removed than to go through some of the deep emotional pain wow, you know, I actually was just thinking about that yesterday.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: Really, that physical pain has nothing on emotional pain.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: What somebody goes through, yeah, I mean how many people commit suicide because they've experienced some physical pain?
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: Lots of them, I'm sure.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: I'm sure is, but not comparable to emotional pain.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Guys, have you not been through physical pain?
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: I have no, you haven't Ouch.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Ray we had a lady in studio that had her hands and feet removed and she said the pain that she had was like someone shooting your fingers off with a gun.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so yeah, I, she had was like someone shooting your fingers off with a gun, and so, yeah, I think there's a terrible physical pain.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Emotional pain is terrible too.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there is One of the things too, is that?
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Because I think you guys bring up a really good point, which is that if somebody showed up at your church with a gaping wound in their body you know what I mean Like they were in physical pain everybody would stop and do something about it.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: You- would treat them.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: And that's the thing about emotional pain is that it's a gaping wound that we cannot see.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: And there are so many people on our churches with wounds, with pains, deep pains from their childhood, from their parents, maybe from things that has happened to them that are so traumatic that go unseen.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: And, yeah, I think I'm excited about this podcast because it gives us an opportunity to see that pain and then to understand what to do about that and one of the things especially we see, men are told to just kind of gird up, right, you're not allowed to cry, you're not allowed to be emotional, just gird up and go.
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: Let's go with cats, and that's not the case.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: We need to communicate.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, being that Ray totally ruined the point that Mark and I were trying to make, I brought it back About emotional pain.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, obviously we're not downplaying physical pain, but emotional pain is a massive pandemic.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I think that let's talk about this first.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest repercussions of emotional pain is isolation.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: First there's the feeling of isolation, but I think then there is the practical isolating that takes place because people are just so distraught and in such deep pain and I'm glad we are discussing this because I know there's a lot of people listening to us that have experienced that.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And, ray, I know that you've gone through deep emotional pain.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: When you think back to the agoraphobia, what did you call it?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Don't you call it agoraphobia, agoraphobia?
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: What did you call it?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Didn't we call it agoraphobia, agoraphobia I never understand your accent.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: Agoraphobia is when you're afraid of people named Garrett.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: He had something else.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, agoraphobia, agoraphobia, yeah, but Ray, you went through years of that Terrible.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, would you rather have physical pain than that?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: No See, that's what we're saying.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: You just repented.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: No, no, no no, no, I wouldn't like either.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Have you changed?
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I finished the sentence.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't like this, but if you had to, pick one.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't pick any you have to.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not, I'm not playing that game.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Pick one and one only.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: And, as you pick one, can we have refiners, firetonic?
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, that's it.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: You get tested on what you say and you do.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: You get tested on what you say and I believe I'd stay humble if someone gave me 10 million dollars.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Now watch me get tested.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: But no, I'm thinking of, like you know, you take, take the, the instance of excuse me.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let me just talk about what we talked about my big consolation.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: When I went through agoraphobia and it lasted five years, the first year was horrific couldn't have a meal with my family.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: It was so traumatic.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I can even feel it now as I talk about it yeah just taking your breath away, breaking and sweat, and my consolation was right now there are people have been burned over 90 of their body that are unrecognizable to their own family and they're in agony.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that made me think oh, my problem is not big at all compared to someone going through something like that.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, it's good.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I think that goes along with your.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: I have a problem poem that you wrote.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was going to pull that up.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do pull it up, mark.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: It may be good to read a little later on.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: But, mark, let's speak to the issue of what I brought up isolation.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Boy, the pendulum swings and I think that as Christians, sometimes, especially in this more kind of bravado age that I think has influenced the church in a negative way, we try to get away from oh, no big deal, you know, gird up, it's just ridiculous.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: But, man, emotional pain is real and, mark, the isolation that I think a lot of people experience, we don't think about it often, but it's devastating.
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: Yes, you will experience emotional pain at some time in your life if you live past the age of three.
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: Haven't you had a two-year-old Augustine?
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Augustine, come on.
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: No, let's do that to get easy reaction.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Yes, Mark.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: It's 100% Augustine.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: It is 100% Augustine.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Mark, now I truly believe you were regenerated for a second and then you just lost your salvation.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: It just shows you how slow you are.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: You just lost your salvation, we need to repent quickly and Oscar did that very quickly.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: Augustine said it's not the pain but the purpose that makes a martyr right.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Even so, we need to think through why we are going through what we're going through, because sometimes and I would dare to say for the Christian all the time that emotional pain and what you're going through, it serves a greater purpose.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: It's a chisel and a hammer in the hands of God to conform you more into the image of God so that you can walk in the work which he has prepared beforehand.
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: And the most comforting verse as we talk about this is obviously Romans 8, 28, that all things work together for our good.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: I mean, we joke a lot about refiner's fire and we think those things right, I didn't talk about it, but we know that Father knows best.
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: You know God's not just looking, he's not like rubbing his thumbs together and inside of his hands.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: Just go.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: I can't wait to have you go through a trial.
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah Right, because all things are truly working together for a good.
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: And if we need to go through that trial, the best thing for us is to go through that trial.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah Right, we think about, like I was saying, that the lottery was like over a billion dollars.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: That's insane, man Right.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: The worst thing you could possibly have is to hit the lottery Right, because what you're going to do with that money could be horrific.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: Ray's saying give that to me, I'll buy trash.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just try me.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: I want that triumph.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: The worst thing you do is win the lottery and lose the ticket.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: That's emotional pain.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: Oh man.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: But as CS Lewis said, you know, pain is God's megaphone to awaken a deaf world.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: And when we go through pain horrible pain, physically or emotionally For the believer, it pushes you to the cross of Christ, it causes you to look up, as Vance Havner said, that sometimes God puts you on your back so that you look up.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: Looking up is a good, safe place to be and that's what pain will do if you allow it to have its perfect work to be, and that's what pain will do if you allow it to have its perfect work Easy.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I think you bring up a really important point, which is the idea of isolation, and I think, as you brought that up, I'm thinking through like why do we isolate?
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: What drives us towards isolation?
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: I want to point something out, because I was reading somewhere recently about this concept of spiritual bypassing.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: So what this author was saying is that often what he was saying is that like we do not like pain, we wanna avoid pain, we don't.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: We feel uncomfortable when people are talking about I'm allergic to pain, you're allergic to pain.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: We feel uncomfortable when people are talking about their pain to us, and so we'll be sitting in the church and somebody will bring up some sort of pain and what we'll do is we'll do a spiritual bypass, we'll use spiritual disciplines to avoid meaningful conversations about pain.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: So, in other words, it's like, yeah, man, I just lost my dad the other day.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, man, I'll pray for you, and it sounds like a nice thing and it's an important thing to do.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: Prayer is not, as I think you've quoted before, prayer is not like the last thing we should be doing, but the first thing we should be doing.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: The problem is that when we spiritual bypass, we don't see somebody for the moment that they're experiencing that emotional pain, and what's beautiful about the scriptures is that it does not spiritually bypass our pain.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: So much of the Psalms are taking time and slowing down and wean through what it means to go through pain, what it means to go through suffering, what it means to go through loss.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: In other words, like the invitation to us to communicate to other people, to pull them out of isolation, is to not revert to spiritual bypassing, but rather to take time to sit with them, to mourn with those who mourn, to weep with those who weep.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: That's how you draw somebody out of isolation and invite them into the comfort the gospel has to offer.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: So the proper response.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: just to reiterate the proper response when somebody comes to you and says I just lost my dad, what's our response?
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: How are you doing?
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you need?
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: What do you need?
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: Weeping with those who weep?
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: And then I think, also doing things for that person without them even telling you they need things.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Because again, there's that whole element of people feel bad, they don't want to inconvenience you, they don't want to seem selfish, they don't want people to feel pity for them, but, man, you go out of your way to just buy them something that would bless them.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Get them dinner, take them out, say hey, just I want to spend the day with you, you know, and all of that is it's a part of the healing of the community of God's people.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: But you're right, oscar, oftentimes we just that's like.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: You know, I have a real dear friend whose son was like he died and was thrown in a park.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: They don't know exactly what happened, but it was just tragic, you know.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: And she said to me that, like a lot of her friends have just totally cut her off, along with some of them saying harsh things to her get over it.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Like, come on, trust God.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Man, it's crazy, right.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Speaking of emotional pain, you know Jesus is our forerunner, he's our example in all things.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: But Jesus dealt with emotional pains, things that deal with the emotions.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I mean when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane he sweat, as it were, great drops of blood.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I mean his soul was in travail, and so I mean that should give us indication that the perfect son of God experienced emotional pain in a fallen world, that it's Christians are not.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: They're not abnormal for going through stuff like that, and I think that's one of the points of isolation.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: You feel like no one else is going through it and it's.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: You're not really Christian for dealing with it.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I talked to a widow once and asked her about her emotional pain and she said one thing that really was like her wound getting pulled up again was sympathy cards that she kept getting sent through the mail.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm excuse me, I never thought of that, that there's a time to just back off and just weep for those that weep and stop saying I'm sorry to her, because people just don't know how to react to that.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: But it is like Mark asked Oscar, what do you say?
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: And I think that's why people back off.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: When someone loses a loved one, you just don't know what to say and I think the nicest thing you can do is say I'm sorry, is there anything I can do for you?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: How are you doing?
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I think that's what I'd like someone to say to me, and then I'd like them to call my phone just for a bit of a chat.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Good job, Ray.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Scotty, for putting that in.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I never fail, do I?
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Never.
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: I was going through something a while back and I had a pastor friend come up to me and it was a very profound question.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: He just simply said what are you doing to move forward?
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: Because what I want to do, my natural knee-jerk reaction is to become a recluse and to just wallow and to overthink my situation and circumstance.
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: And when he said, what are you doing to move forward, I'm thinking, I mean, what am I really doing to move forward?
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: And he came along he goes let me give you some real quick, simple, practical steps and I'd like to go through some of those a little bit later.
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: I'd be interested in that.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we'd love to hear those Cause.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do want to talk about how do we deal with that, how do we handle it?
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that when we recognize that people have committed time in showing that they care, I think for most of us that means a lot and it again can be one of those healing bombs.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I remember, after my dad passed, my dear friend Thomas Pertel, good friend of ours, he wrote a poem about my dad and, just going into glory, that what was is no more.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: But now things have transformed from his pain, his anguish, his suffering, to this temporal life and man.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: What touched me?
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: First of all, the poem deeply touched me.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: But what touched me on top of all?
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: The poem deeply touched me, but what touched me on top of that was the time he took to do it.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: He got up in the middle of the night and I was on his heart and he wrote this and it just so touched me, it comforted me, it consoled me and it's like these, these just little.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: You know it's.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: It's almost like someone healing in increments.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Right, you see a wound and then you look at the bandage, you take it off day by day, you see it improving and it's like the salve is the love of God's people, that comfort, consolation, and we're all different.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: In fact, I got a sympathy card today it was on my desk from a listener to the podcast and they heard me mention my dad's passing and it and it.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: It blessed me, it touched me.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: You know some people like that lady may be hard for them, but if you can close a check it helps.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, um, but um, uh, yeah, and only ray comfort, by the way.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I just make sure, scotty, to edit all of ray from this episode guys, I got a.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: I got a question when you talk about isolation, are we talking about being alone, withdrawing, or is it something deeper?
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Because some people like being alone, they like being away from the noise and the haste.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: So what do we mean by isolation, mark?
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: Nothing wrong with getting away by your side resting, meditating, sailing, thinking through what's taking place, and then you get back inside the battle.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: We have a friend who last week had abandoned his wife because he's going through some emotional pain and nobody knows where he's at.
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: And he left letters for friends and for his wife and for his mom and just saying I'm out of here, I'm out of the state, I just can't handle the things that I'm going through right now.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Are they?
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: concerned about suicide?
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we talked about it, but that's the sort of isolation that is taboo, right?
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: You don't do that.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: No, you go to trusted sources, you seek wisdom and counsel, you go after the lord.
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: You don't abandon and throw in the towel and leave your job and leave your spouse and leave your friends and get rid of all sound logic and wisdom.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: You know you don't rage against anything and everything that's wholesome.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: What you do is, yeah, get aside, rest, regroup, refocus and realize god's at work in you and he's doing a work inside of you and these things are working together for your good and you come out of that so much better if you have a biblical mindset.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: You know sorry, oscar A man reacts different than a woman.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: When a woman has a problem, she wants to talk about it.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: When a man has a problem, he wants to go into his cave Totally and think about it.
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: That's what we were talking about.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: That's totally normal, yeah.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: I would say isolation is time alone and that's not healthy.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: But time alone with the Lord is not isolation.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: And so if people are like, hey, I need to pull back and I just need time with the Lord, I would say, yes, amen.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: What tends to happen is when you're dealing with what's trauma and emotional pain, is that you want to pull back, not just from people in community, but from the Lord as well.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: And that's what I mean by isolation, that kind of aloneness, because then you start talking to yourself and you generally have nothing good to say to yourself, but the Lord has something to say to you.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: And so I think to pull people out of isolation is to pull them into gospel community and then to pull them into a season of lament, which is an act of worship.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: I know I run to Psalms.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good, yeah, and I wanna look at some of those Psalms that I think are applicable today.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: But I just wanna say real quick in answer to that question about isolation you have isolation in terms of removing yourself from being in community, like you said, oscar, but then there's the psychological isolation of and that deals with emotions too of feeling alone because you don't realize that others are going through what you're going through, and so that, I think, can be sometimes just as detrimental as isolating and getting away in the unhealthy sense.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Right, there is that good time away, pulling away to get with the Lord, but there's that unhealthy isolation.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: But when you sense like you're alone because you just don't think anyone else is going through this, no one else will understand you And't think anyone else is going through this, no one else will understand you and you can be around people at that time.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: So, objectively, it doesn't look like you're isolated, but you are in your heart and mind and that's what compounds, I think, that emotional pain.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Great insight, yeah.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: So what are some of the things that people deal with emotional pain over?
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: We were talking about loss, right, like you lose a loved one or whatever.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: That's huge, but then there's, I think, that the emotional pain of rejection.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Yes it's repel Rejection man.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: That's probably at the top of the list If you talk to most people today.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: I think, especially in the social media age that we live in, where everybody knows what everybody is doing.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Everybody sees what everybody is doing because it's being posted.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Everyone knows where everybody is because they could see them on apps where you could trace your friends and track them.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: And you know, wait, they didn't invite me to this and why didn't they include me in that?
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: And you know why are they getting close?
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: And we used to be close and now we're not anymore.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: And, man, that stuff is really real.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: And what would To be clear, Mark and I didn't invite you because you don't like chili cheese dogs.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: You told us you don't like chili cheese dogs.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Please never invite me to that.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: But no, I'm serious in that this really does.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: It creates a lot of heartache and turmoil for people and again we need to examine, like what is our outlook?
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: What is our perspective?
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Are we in sin?
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Because now we're being envious?
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Right, we're drifting into the realm of now, maybe being covetous.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Why can't I have that relationship?
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Why can't I have those invites?
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Why can't I?
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: But this is real and I know a lot of people listening to us.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: They're dealing with it today.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: They might've dealt with it before they turned the podcasts on, because it's always in our face.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: So easy Can that be dealt with when we think through our identity in Christ?
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: Right, who I am, what God's doing, he'll never leave me, he'll never forsake me.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: Right, you think of even like bullying.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: You can't bully somebody who's just plays along, right.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: And when you talk about being rejected, you go well, christ isn't rejecting me or they rejected him.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: Then he can reject me.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: Is it just as simple as just a proper mindset that Christ is with me?
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: Let friends have other friends.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: What are your?
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: I think how do we Like that's Okay in an idealistic world and I'm even speaking spiritually that's exactly what should happen, right?
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, I have Christ.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: He's the greatest treasure, he's right and that's where we need to end up.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: But sometimes I think it's hard when you're in the heat of the moment and you're feeling that pain.
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: So do you determine beforehand that he's my portion, he's my inheritance?
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you train yourself, there's muscle memory, but I think it's a process where you, yeah, you have to gear your heart and mind.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: You have to acknowledge, first of all, this really does hurt, and then you have to say, okay, but now what?
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Because there's always the now what?
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: And that's where we don't get beyond, because what happens is, if you focus on this hurts, then that leads to self-pity, and then self-pity ends up leaving, leading to self-centeredness.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: That leads to bitterness, resentment, yes, resentment, that whole.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: you always talk about that ray and hurt rejection, self-pity resentment, anger, hatred, rejection, depression, suicide yeah, so I.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: So I think it's acknowledging it and then taking it to the Lord.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: You must connect with the Lord Anytime that comes up.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Turn toward Christ.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Lord, help me.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: I'm going through this right now.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Please help me, father, to rejoice for my friends who are getting together without me, because obviously they find a greater blessing in being together for some reason and not wanting me there, and that's awesome, thank you, that'd be great to have that, but that's where we need to get to because otherwise you're constantly in a world of turmoil, unsettled peace, envy, jealousy, bitterness resentment pulling back.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: That is not the heart of.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: Christ.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: So how does the world deal with that?
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: I'm just thinking.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: While you're talking, I was thinking about a guy who's been involved in a business for 20, 30 years, faithful servant.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: They just get a notice sorry financial difficulties You're out of here, and they escort him off the property.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that very moment, get your belongings and they lock the door on him.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Right, I mean constant hopelessness, is how they deal with it.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: And what I mean?
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking about Paul Tripp's quote, which is hopelessness is a doorway to hope, because you cannot live without having your hope in something, every single person.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: It is in our nature to have hope in something, and what generally happens is we have hope in the acceptance of our friends, we have hope in the success of the business, and when these things fail us and they will fail us one of two things can happen You'll either shift your hope in something else that will make you hopeless, or you can pivot your hope into the God who provides hope.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: And that's why Paul Tripp says hopelessness is a doorway to hope, because when everything else fails, when your plans fail, when your money fails, when your relationships fails, when all those things let you down, it's time to turn to the God of hope.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: And so yeah, in those moments it's like, oh, am I putting my hope in something?
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: Am I desiring something more than Christ?
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: It's an opportunity to reflect in our own heart.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: I think of like Psalms.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: You brought up the Psalm.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: Psalm 73 is Asaph's Psalm.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: He has witnessed spiritual and political corruption and he starts to talk about his faith.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: And he talks about it like a slip.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: This is where we get the phrase slippery slope from.
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: He says like my feet almost slip.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: But then what does he do?
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: He reflects on his own heart.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: He says but I realized I envy.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: So what he's saying is the reason why my faith is slipping is not because of the circumstance.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Actually, the circumstance is revealing something about my heart.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: He turns inwardly and reflects on the condition of his heart and then turns to Christ.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: Easy.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: You have that illustration about the snow globe.
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: Maybe you can share that about the idea.
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: It's already there.
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: You're just kind of shaking up.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's good.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: It's the water bottle, yeah, the water shakers, where you look at two bottles of water, they look like they have nothing but water in them.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: You shake one same thing, nothing but water.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: You shake the other and it suddenly becomes cloudy and murky and muddy, and the shaking did not add or take away anything from either bottle.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: The shaking revealed what was already there, what was settled.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: And, mark, I'm glad you brought that up because, again, the important thing in these circumstances, when we're feeling that emotional pain, is to examine our hearts and ask, lord, is there any sin intermingled here?
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Because, like I often say, the heart is the sin factory and the sin warehouse.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: Mark 7, jesus talks about that right.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: These things come from within, as he gives that long list, and so sin is produced there.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: It always comes from there in our fallen, wicked hearts.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: But then it's also a warehouse, because sometimes it's stored on the shelves and we forget it's even there.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: And then someone comes in and a little earthquake happens and things fall off the shelf and the dust rises and we realize, oh, wait, a minute, this was.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize this was still there.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: But it's a mercy from God to bring it up.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: So you're dealing with rejection, you're feeling that envy, jealousy.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Those are sins.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: God sympathizes with your weaknesses, so he calls you to come boldly to the throne of grace.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: For what reason?
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: To receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: You need help at that moment of feeling that rejection.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: You need the help of comfort, you need the help of consolation, restoration.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: You need the help of overcoming envy and jealousy and self-centeredness, and you need to learn to rejoice for others who are blessed, even in the midst of your rejection.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Now that doesn't remove communication.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: Communication is important and there are people in your life who may be sinfully, intentionally hurting you, right the other things I'm talking about.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: It's not intentional malice or whatever.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: So love looks at them and says they're sinning against God themselves, others hurting God themselves, others.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: I love them, so I need to approach them on this, versus it being self-centered and egocentric.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: That make sense.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: You're smiling, mark, that's good, so good.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: I would add too, just to shift a little, because what we're not saying is that anytime you're experiencing emotional pain, it's because there's some sin in your life.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: The book of.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: Job would totally disagree with that.
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: It says in the book of Job that he was blameless and upright.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: If anything and a commentator said this if anything, the suffering of Job was to reveal the issue of Satan, not the issues of sin in Job's heart.
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: And so sometimes, like we're experiencing emotional pain and suffering not because there's sin in our heart, but simply because there's sin in the world, because we live in a broken world in which things are hard.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: The earth groans in anticipation for the return of its savior, and so does our hearts.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: There are season in which we are just groaning in anticipation for God to to redeem and reconcile the world.
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I just want to clarify I'm speaking about when you find sin amid even legitimate emotional pain, rejection can be a sense, even legitimate emotional pain.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Rejection can be a sense of legitimate emotional pain, but it's when you begin to see, intermingled in that, sin beginning to arise.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: But yeah, but again, that's the reality.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Right Over rejection, betrayal, unfulfilled desires, shattered dreams, abuse, and those are, man, they're legitimate, but you must make Christ your focus.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: And we mentioned the Psalms.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Ray, you love the Psalms.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in Psalms it says A wounded spirit who can bear or Proverbs one of the two, and we can bear physical pain, but a wounded spirit, how do you?
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: heal it?
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Did I steal that from you, mark?
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: We're going to get fiery darts, there's going to be rejection and all these things that come to us, as Oscar was saying, because we live in a fallen creation.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: But there are ways we can fortify ourselves and you touched on them.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: One of them is to have an attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Just be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving for every breath you take, for the sights you see, the things you hear, the friends you have.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Just and don't have what the world has, an entitlement, spirit entitlement attitude, that's right.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: Because the guy that gets fired after 20 years can go out filled with hate against his boss or he can say they paid me for 20 years.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's so good.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: I had a job for 20 years.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: That's so good and it transforms.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: It truly does transform everything.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: If you really persist in that right, I mean, I think you begin.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: You're still feeling the pain, but you keep pressing through.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Before you know it, you're like I'm so blessed.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: And Ray, that's a good example.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Imagine getting fired from a job.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: They laid you off, they can't afford to keep you on and you just you lambast your former boss, you chew them out, you get upset, angry, you slander him.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: Imagine you hadn't done that.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: If that company gets profitable again and you're a really good worker, they may be knocking on your door with even a better position.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: But you can learn.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Not now, so it would be good for them to write a letter and say Thank you so much for your faithful employment of me for 20 years.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you guys have seen, like some of these TV shows I don't know America's Got Talent or American Idol or whatever but where, like, someone will not be chosen or they'll, and they're just like nasty you know.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, You'll get people they go crazy, They'll go off the handle, yeah, but you'll get those few that'll go.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for the opportunity to audition today.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I mean the people who saw that guy on there and it was nasty and goes and applies for a job, you think they're gonna get that job Totally.
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: I would like to perhaps get a little applicable to some points to deal with this.
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: How do you handle emotional pain?
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: And Ray touched upon it.
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: First and foremost, it's the gratitude, right?
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: The things that we currently have are the dreams of so many other people, right?
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: It's the whole idea of.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: I used to complain about my shoes until I saw the guy with no feet.
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: Right, If we really kind of take inventory of what we have, that we've been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies.
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: So quickly I'm gonna go through this very, very quick list.
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: Number one turn to God in prayer.
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: Right, as CH Spurgeon said, it's impossible to have an excess of prayer inside your life.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: A praying man is a focused man upon the Lord.
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: Second, seek comfort in scripture.
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: Right Psalm 34,.
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: He saves those who are crushed in spirit, Amen.
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: Next is something that Oscar continually harps on and that is just koinonia, fellowship with other believers.
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: It's the local church.
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: It's coming alongside of people and saying I need you to come alongside me, and you may not even realize that it's like when somebody's going through something.
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: What do we say?
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: Hey, if you need anything, I'm here for you.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: Well, do you think they need anything.
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: I mean, just pause for a moment.
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: If you're in their position, what is it that you think they need?
• 45:26
  Speaker 4: And then, easy, you answer the question.
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: It's like bring them a meal.
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: Don't say, don't wait for them to tell you I need a meal tonight with my family.
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: Bring them a meal, Bring them an encouraging word, Right.
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: Next is practice forgiveness yourself, right?
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: I mean, what is it that I need to forgive?
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: And forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: Wow, I don't know who said it, but I have it written down.
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: I said it, Oscar said it Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping others will die.
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: It's been well said.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: And then seek professional counsel.
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: Go to biblicalcounselingcom.
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: Biblicalcounselingcom, you get some free counsel, so perhaps you can't see where you need to go.
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: They will help you find that.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: And then, finally, remember God's promises, Isaiah 41, do not fear, for I am with you, Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: I will strengthen you, I will help you and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: And these are said by a God who cannot lie.
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: Trust that Faith is the outstretched hand of man receiving the promises of God.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, that's so good, Mark, and I think, too, a big key is the proper understanding of who God is and the eternal mindset that says this is all going to pass and this is going to be remedied and God is going to bring me through it.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: And so, having that mindset thinking the best, especially in circumstances where emotional pain can come from people's thoughts about you, their intentions towards you, their motives, why this happened, why that happened Just force yourself to think the best.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: No, no, this is probably what it is.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: That happened.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Just force yourself to think the best.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: No, no, this is probably what it is.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: And we just want to say to anyone who's gone through emotional pain from abuse that, first of all, if you're in an abusive situation, you need to get help.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: You need to make that known.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: You don't squelch that, you don't put it down, you don't say oh, I'm just being selfish, not in the least bit.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: You need to let others know get help, get out of the situation.
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: Rewind that and listen to that again, If you're, I mean that's great advice.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Very, very important.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I want to make that very clear and then get help and counsel that the Lord may start to heal you.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: But, guys, I mean again, there's so many verses that touch on God's comfort for us.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I mean John 16, 33,.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: And the reason, oscar, that should console us is because Christ is our all and if he's overcome the world, we're connected to him.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: He's going to enable us to overcome the world right, absolutely.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: You know, in that Psalm that I mentioned earlier, psalm 73, asaph, at the very end of the Psalm he looks and he says your hand was with me.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: The entire time, in the midst of his suffering, in the midst of his pain, the Lord was there.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: Why was the Lord there?
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: Here's why the Lord is there is because he wasn't there.
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: He forsaked the one person that didn't deserve it.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: When Jesus died on the cross, he says my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: God turned his face away from Jesus.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: So that his children would know that he would never turn their face from us.
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: Right and so, man like, look to the cross and see that Jesus.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: He went through the worst of pain, the worst of suffering, taking on the fullness of the wrath of God.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: Why One?
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: So that we can be forgiven of our sins, but also so that we can be healed from the sins that have been committed against us, so that he could one day wipe away every tear.
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: think about that the God of the universe who did not have to.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: And here's what it means.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: It means that God isn't just the one that stands over and above suffering.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: It means that he's also the God who has suffered so that one day your suffering would come to an end, and so that when you pray to God, you pray to the suffering servant the one who knows your pain?
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Amen, that's good.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, isaiah 43 too.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: When you pass through the deep, through deep waters, I will be with you.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Your troubles will not overwhelm you.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: And even you know some of these Old Testament passages.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: You know we may look at them and say, well that, that that was applying to someone in a certain circumstance.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: But remember, this is speaking of God's heart.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: We can glean application from that and that this is God's heart towards His people.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: You know Mark cited it earlier the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, saves those who are crushed in spirit.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: That's Psalm 34, 18.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: Psalm 147, 3, he heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: And scripture goes on and on.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: And that crying out to God.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Psalm 130, verse 1, out of the depths, I cry to you, o Lord, hear my voice.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: I love those examples of people crying out.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: Psalm 6, verse 3, my soul is in deep anguish.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: How long, lord?
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: How long you know we can again.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: We can learn from those.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Psalm 38, 9 to 11, all my longings lie open before you, lord.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: My sighing is not hidden from you.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: My heart pounds.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: My strength fails me.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: Even the light has gone from my eyes.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: My neighbors stay far away.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is lament, this is pouring out our heart and knowing that God is our refuge.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: And so, ray.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: Any final word, for anyone listening, of encouragement in this regard.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: No.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: That's what I thought, exactly what I thought.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: All right, friends, we are done with another one and hope you're encouraged and stirred up.
• 50:59
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• 51:05
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• 51:08
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• 51:12
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• 51:14
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• 51:16
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• 51:24
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