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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON1_EPISODE#124_PANEL DISCUSSION ON SUICIDE AWARENESS · DA CREW Podcast

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clients have seen their credits calls. Sword Well want to welcome you guys to
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another episode of the Crew Podcast, Episode one hundred in twenty four. I
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want to thank you guys for tuning in tonight. I'll tell you I have
1:51
a special treat for you on tonight as we celebrate and bring awareness to soucide
1:57
preventions. This is the month that we bring awareness to suicide prevention. But
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those that follow me and support the things that I know that I do,
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know that this is something I do twenty four seven, three hundred and sixty
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five days because I am a suicide attempt survivor and I truly believe that awareness
2:17
need to be brought to this subject because guess what we do. What's done
2:22
in this house, stay in this house, and it's a stigma in the
2:23
Brown community. But we're gonna break that stigma on tonight. We're gonna break
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that stigma where we gotta pray about everything and step a little all on it.
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We're gonna We're breaking all that tonight. I have some amazing guests that
2:36
are gonna be sharing with you guys tonight. I tell you they walk in
2:38
different lanes, they operate in different fields, but I'm excited to be able
2:45
to share them with you on tonight. I'm gonna bring them up individually and
2:50
allow them to introduce themselves, and we're gonna start with Miss Russell. Hey
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there, Thank you so much, Miss Angela for having me on the show.
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My name is Stan Trees Russell. I am a licensed professional counselor in
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the State of Georgia in Texas, and I'm also a Certified Professional Counselor supervisor
3:07
as well as a National Board Certified therapist. And I also host a podcast
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called the Selfware and ft Up Podcast, which focuses on taboo topics and mental
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health. I've been in a health and profession about eighteen years. I did
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a good amount of time of working directly in the hospital setting where individuals were
3:24
coming into the hospital actually after experiencing suicide attempts and in assessing them and ensure
3:30
that they got to the appropriate place. And for the last seven years I've
3:32
actually been working for a national crisis line where we take income and calls from
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our veteran and military callers as well as JUSTUS callers civilian callers who are experiencing
3:43
suicidal audiation and need additional support. And so I've been in the field for
3:47
quite some time, and I've also had personal struggles around suicidal thoughts and things
3:52
of that. So I'm definitely looking forward to just, you know, engaging
3:54
in dialogue with you guys tonight and really just being able to bring awareness because
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we don't talk about it enough within our community. And I really really love
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what you are doing with this, So thank you so much. Well,
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thank you, and welcome, Welcome, Welcome. We gotta bring up myth
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Dominique. Hi everyone, my name is Sminy Carson. I am a freelance
4:16
journalist and author, a speaker, but most importantly, I am a licensed
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massage practitioner. I've been a massage practitioner for four years. I completed my
4:26
education in New York City. That's where I'm from, and that's why I
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completed my previous education as well. The reason why I decided to be a
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part of this program on this podcast tonight because it kind of hits home.
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I lost one of my dear classmates to suicide in two thousand and ten.
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He was nineteen, he just graduated from high school a year ago, and
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from that point on, I wanted to raise awareness and then from a journalist
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perspective, interviewing so many different artists and how they're Some have succumbed lost their
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lives to suicide, including one of my favorite soul singers of all time,
5:01
Phyllis Hyman, And I just think that if they had the resources that they
5:06
had then now, maybe a lot of situations would be different. So I
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just feel like I just want to use my voice and my artistry as a
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journalist and now as a massage friction practitioner to raise awareness about this's going issue
5:21
in our community, advocacy about wearing as semi colon, to show that your
5:27
life doesn't have to, you know, have a period, It can go
5:30
on and on, and now if I can be a vessel to encourage that,
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why not. Awesome, awesome, Well, welcome, welcome, Thank
5:40
you for joining us, Miss Jones. Oh hey, thank you right,
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welcome, welcome. I was coming a little bit of something. Hey,
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everybody, thank you so much for having me. Thank you, Queen Angela,
5:55
thank you to the guests who went before. So, Hey, I'm
5:59
Steph or Lilac Calandra. I am a marriage and family therapist, I'm a
6:03
minister, i am a mindfulness life coach, and I really believe I've been
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put on this earth to help people get back to the best versions of themselves.
6:13
Right. I got into the field because I was born and raised in
6:16
the church, and I recognize that there's so much untreated trauma in the church
6:20
that someone who's in the church has to go out get their credentials, go
6:26
to school, and then come back and speak the language of the church so
6:29
that those who are hurt, those who have been cast down, beat down,
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down trodden, forgotten about, traumatized, can start to heal. And
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we don't talk about the taboo things in our community. As you were saying
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in the opening credits, Queen, we don't talk about it enough. We
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are here to rip the covers off of suicide. We're here to expose it,
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shine the light on it, take away the shame, the guilt and
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embarrassment. We had to meditate do it, we had to pray through it.
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We're here to just sit and breathe through it and let people know they
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were all in this together. I had no suicide attempts. I had many
7:02
suicidal ideations when my parents got divorced and I was eleven going on twelve.
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So this also hits home for me. I work right now in high school
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and we know that youth suicide rates are on the rise. I have been
7:16
planted there by Abayah himself to help these students make sure that they are going
7:23
to live. The goal is to live, and anyone listening, we want
7:27
you here. You matter. I love Dominic that you mentioned the semi coolin
7:30
your life doesn't have a period, but there's more to your story where we
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love you and we want you here. So thank you so much for having
7:35
me. I really appreciate you. Thank you and welcome. Welcome, mister
7:43
Larry, Welcome, greetings, greeting, greetings. How's everybody doing. I'm
7:49
Larry Pinton. Everybody calls the coop for sure. I am a retired paramidic
7:55
firefighter or fire midic. I'm CEO also of a comic called Penton Ending Consultant
8:00
Solutions LLC. I do a number of things post and pre retirements. So
8:07
I was in MS and fire from O six to the twenties twenty i retired
8:11
as a COVID medic and I'm from Singles, Missouri. We relocated to Charlotte,
8:16
North Carolina, and a year later I started this consultant firm. A
8:22
lot of what we did initially was virtual assistant type work, and because I
8:26
still had my license and all my certifications, I was getting pulled in as
8:31
a subject matter expert on public health, public safety, gun safety issues,
8:35
nothing with the politics or the two ay or the second amendments. So I'm
8:41
also a certified BLS instructor or, teach first aid and CPR, teach at
8:48
conshooter hogs Stool events or at a shooter issues drills, consultation Stoppable, and
8:54
a number of other things. I'm also a podcast I have a show called
8:58
Trigger Warning Talk podcasts all four Words, streaming on all the major platforms and
9:05
you can watch them on Spotify as well as our YouTube channel, which is
9:07
a company name, and we cover five areas on the podcasts, talk about
9:13
domestic violence, human and sex trafficking, sexually based offenses, true crime,
9:18
and at the end of every episode we cover a missing person case, ninety
9:22
nine percent of those for Melionated Folks. Because we wanted to bring the same
9:26
energy in media coverage to those missing individuals. There's no other podcasts podcast Land
9:33
that's run by a man who's the first responder, who is covering all five
9:37
of those topics in one podcast. It's uncensored conversations. We exchange information,
9:43
and we provide a bunch of resources in every episode for all the viewers,
9:48
end listeners. We're going to have a great conversation tonight. Let's go.
9:54
Amen Amen. Well, I definitely thank you guys for taking time out of
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your schedule to join us and to help us bring awareness to suicide. Like
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I mentioned in the beginning, I am a suicide attempt survivor. I tempted
10:09
suicide so many times, and it was a dark place in my life.
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You think I lost my mom twelve days after my sixteenth birthday. My dad
10:20
wasn't really in my life. At the point in time when I thought that
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he would really step up and be a part of my life, he walked
10:26
away. So I dealt with a lot of abandonment issues, a lot of
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things that I didn't know what I was dealing with it, Like I didn't
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know that I was dealing with PTSD and depression for over fifteen years, years
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until I went through domestic violence, and that's when all of this stuff come
10:45
up. But I see so many people so often in the back when it
10:50
was backstage, I heard someone talking about individuals can be smiling, they can
10:56
be happy, they don't There's not a particular thing where people gonna wake up
11:01
and say I'm gonna kill myself today. That because I've had that happened in
11:05
my family. I had a fifteen year old, but she wasn't even fifteen
11:11
yet, she would have been fifteen. She committed suicide the day before Mother's
11:15
Day that Friday. They had been last been joking, having a very good
11:20
family event. You never would have thought that this was gonna take place on
11:24
Saturday. So I just want to break through some of the stigmas that you
11:31
know, run around in our community, like people don't want us to talk
11:37
about things that are bothering us. We'll go on in this homestead, stay
11:41
in this home, and be strong. That that that's what I was told
11:48
for so long. What if I strong? What what if I what what
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if I don't want to be strong? What do I do if I don't
12:00
want to be strong? Because that may be somebody out there today because I'm
12:03
not a professional, and I'm so glad that we have all these professionals here
12:09
because I want to know what do I do if I don't want to be
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strong? Because I'm sure there's some people out there that want to know this,
12:16
that are putting on these we put on these masks. We're putting on
12:20
these masks, and we need to take these masks offs. We want people
12:24
to know our true our true identity. So how can I not strong?
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Who who wanna? Who want to tackle that? I just want to be
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free and I don't want to be strorong. I want to be able to
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cry if I need to cry, and not be labeled as weak. And
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so y'all talk to who who want to talk? I'll jump Oh, thank
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you, brother, Larry, You're the bomb. I'll jump on it really
12:52
quick. Then the pastor Mike. What I realize is, especially in the
12:56
black asper right, our strength has been weaponized again us. We're so strong
13:03
and everyone sees us as strong. We're so strong that when we get into
13:05
the doctor's office, they think we don't need the same one what a medicine
13:09
as anyone else. So they think that we don't need to stay in the
13:11
hospital as long as anyone else. Because we're so strong, right, our
13:16
strength, our resilience is now a weapon that is used to attack us.
13:20
Really, I don't want to be strong anymore if it means that I can't
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get help, if it means that someone's not going to ask me what's wrong.
13:28
You see the signs or you see the sayings, check on your strong
13:31
friend. Why do we have to do that? Because everyone that gets about
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the strong person. Strong people need help too. You can it's an end.
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It's not a butt, or it's not an or, it's an end,
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it's a boat. I can be strong, we can be strong,
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but we can also need a ton of help. It's those who are are
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looking weak or presenting weak or maybe victim mindset who get all the help.
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That's not fair. You can be tough, you can be strong. It's
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also so important to be vocal about what we're going through right, finding that
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absolutely, Latanya, we're so strong that people assume we can handle everything as
14:07
the people. We need to stop assuming that. If we see someone who's
14:13
exhibiting strength and being strong and they're always able to smile and go through,
14:18
still check on them, right, Still make sure that they're okay because we
14:22
hide a lot of things, right, we put on the facade and the
14:26
mask. I also want to say to the strong people, and from one
14:28
strong person to everyone else who's strong too, it's okay to be vulnerable.
14:35
It is okay to find your safe space and be vulnerable. We can't get
14:39
mad at people who don't know what we have going on where we keep everything
14:43
closed in like a volte Find your safe space, find your people and share
14:50
and let go and release. Be careful who you share with, right,
14:54
if you don't ignore the feelings inside you know, if you shouldn't be sharing
14:58
with someone, but keep keeping everything inside makes us so vulnerable to suicide,
15:05
of ideations, to all manners of attacks and mental illness. Share be vulnerable,
15:11
and those who see strong people still check on them, even if they're
15:13
annoyed. I don't need help inside, they're like, oh, I'm so
15:18
grateful. So if we're all in this together, it's pouring into each other's
15:22
cups. That's what's gonna do it. I agree with you one hundred percent.
15:26
Stuff. I think we need to change the narrative that vulnerability is a
15:31
form of strength, right, like when you're tearing that's cleansing, that's letting
15:35
go, that stuff being released, and I can I can you agree to
15:39
what you were saying. Coming from such an urbanized background in East New York,
15:45
Brooklyn and being around so many alpha women in my life, from my
15:50
mother's and my grandmother, I think, and I've had a very close relationship
15:54
with my grandmother. I think in the last twenty three years of my life
15:56
before she passed, I've only seen her cry four times. And that's that
16:03
means she held a lot of stuff in because you taught from the school you
16:08
gotta be strong, you gotta be tough. I don't want nobody seeing me
16:11
with my pants hanging down. People take advantage of your vulnerability, and that's
16:15
when you have to say, be mindful who you tell your business to,
16:21
or be mindful who you could be vulnerable with. But that's when your faith
16:25
and your strength will come in and that discernment will give you the opportunity to
16:29
determine which people should you have in your space, should you have in your
16:33
circle. A lot of those things have to be evaluated along with you being
16:38
vulnerable. But we have to change the narrative and a lot of and sometimes
16:44
that's very difficult when you're coming from a particular upbringing. But that doesn't necessarily
16:48
mean that it's not possible. But that's coming to terms, and that's what
16:52
we were talking about in the break, that your mindset has to change,
16:59
and that could be a very weak mindset, because what's the point of me
17:03
being strong if my life is at stake, if my mental health is at
17:07
stake. That's I don't think God will want us to be strong and not
17:12
express our emotions, not express our vulnerability, just saying that you're human and
17:18
that is okay, but don't have stuff bottle in because you're going it's a
17:23
matter of time before it just falls apart, and that's not what you would
17:27
want. So I definitely agree that the narrative has to change. Yeah,
17:34
and we really have to do a better job just overall in our community of
17:38
just being open to talking about the stuff that goes on behind closed doors,
17:42
because you know, I see the comment here. You know there's so many
17:45
things hidden behind the smile, And I know for me personally, I'm hidden
17:49
so much behind my smile and gone through rough periods of dealing with suicidal thoughts
17:55
and still having to work with people who were also dealing with those sort of
17:59
things in their lives, and so it's just it's really important that you know
18:03
that you don't hide behind that smile and reach out to your support system.
18:07
It needs to be the right support system to your point, but at the
18:10
same time, you have to have people in your corner that you feel safe
18:12
enough to say, Hey, you know what, I'm not okay today,
18:17
I'm not okay right now and I need some extra support. I might need
18:21
you to check on me a little bit more often because I don't want to
18:22
be strong right now. I need that extra support. So I think it's
18:27
taking off the mask, as you said earlier, but it's also being able
18:32
to know that even when you're by yourself in those low moments, that you
18:36
can't do this by yourself. We are community based people and we need our
18:40
tribe in order for us to be able to move through life a little bit
18:42
more smoothly. Yeah. Sometimes I used to tell people that with my experience
18:57
being on the front line as a responder, I would tell them there's three
19:02
things that always bothered me about my job. One, I always had a
19:08
fear that whenever we got a nine one one call, who gets suited in
19:12
the booted lights and sirens we show up on seeing My biggest fear Number one
19:18
was always encountering patient because you don't get a patient's information encountering patient into somebody
19:26
that I know. The other thing was I always told missus LP that I
19:33
want to come back home the same way I went to work, healthy,
19:37
having hope. I can't guarantee that that's going to happen because of the nature
19:41
of the beast as I call it, the job. And the third thing
19:45
is for me personally dealing with suicide, because take away the badge, take
19:55
away the licenses and the certifications and all the training and stuff. I'm just
20:00
a person. At the end of the day when missus LP, I get
20:06
home for my forty eight hours fire shield, you know, and she's telling
20:11
me about how her last two days where she's a project manager for a big
20:15
company, and she's telling me about all of these people, not me,
20:18
the deadlines, and she got all these exhales, spreads, she's doing all
20:22
this sequel stuff and all these different things that are exciting. And then she
20:26
asked me how it was your day or I gotta tell her, you know,
20:30
I may not have been able to resistitate one of these swings that were
20:34
just born. And we worked on that baby for and I trigger one.
20:40
You know, I had a kid who had suicidal autigation and he was successful.
20:47
Because when it comes to suicide, I tell you there's only two one
20:49
or two things. Either day you find them in time or I'm pronouncing there's
20:56
home with a brand. Wow, just black and white, yeah, cut
21:00
and dry. And the other thing is and I'm glad that you said this
21:04
needs down me men seventy to eighty percent of suicides or committed by me or
21:11
those that identify as men, no, no disrespect to anybody, seventy to
21:18
eighty percent. We gotta deal with this stuff head on, no more burying
21:23
head in the sin. It doesn't happen, Me doesn't, union doesn't happen,
21:29
neighborhood doesn't happen, mind or whatever. We all got something ship and
21:33
we're gonna talk about yea. So how do we get people to really talk
21:45
about it? Because you oftentime will hear people say, well, pray about
21:52
it. How how do you convince people that therapy is needed? Seeing out
21:57
the psychiatrist, Because I'm gonna tell y'all, I mean, the first person
22:00
to tell you that I don't mind laying on somebody's couch because I've seen a
22:04
psychiatrist. I had a psychiatrist, and I had two therapists at one time,
22:10
so I knew I needed help because it got to a point to where
22:15
I just couldn't y'all. Didn't want to get up out in the bed.
22:18
I didn't wanna face anything. But see, some people don't realize that,
22:25
you know, I can't do this along. They think that everything is on
22:27
them, that they that they don't have nobody. So how did y'all,
22:30
How can y'all get that out to people that hey, it's okay, get
22:38
get this, get this therapist, well my therapist at my therapist. I
22:45
mean, I think I need to make a plea to the people today it
22:48
got you. I mean, I think the first thing is really just recognizing
22:52
that you need help. I mean, like, if you're at that point
22:56
where you're laying in there all the time and you're not wanting to get up,
22:59
You're not want to eat each shower, take care of yourselves, do
23:00
those basic ADLs, and you are at that point of hopelessness and you don't
23:06
really see a reason to keep going, And I see someone's message saying how
23:11
do you share what people that like to talk about? What you share in
23:14
confidence? I mean that's the perfect set way to go into therapy. What
23:18
you talk about with your therapist is something that is confidential and it's a safe
23:21
space. You know, there are some things you know that we have to
23:23
share. As it relates to like if you do have an active plan means
23:27
and intend to end your life, but as it relates to just being able
23:30
to share and build those coping skills, that's something that you can get from
23:34
a therapist and it's something that will stay with that therapist unless you are actively
23:38
at risk of hurting yourself for someone else. And so if you see that
23:42
you need that extra support and you don't have anybody else in your life that
23:47
you feel like you can talk to, that's the perfect time for you to
23:49
reach out and be able to connect with someone that can help you through that
23:53
process of really exploring your feelings and really identifying, Okay, well, what
23:59
is it that's causing these feelings of depression? What is it? Is it
24:02
something long standing? Is it because of a life circumstances, Because there are
24:04
a lot of different stages in terms of people who are contemplating suicide. Sometimes
24:08
when you're in that pre stage, they may not be there, you may
24:11
not be ready to get help. But if you're at that point where you
24:15
really really feel like you're going to act on those thoughts, at that point,
24:19
you know, you definitely want to connect with a therapist, but you
24:22
definitely if it's something right there in the moment, real time, you want
24:26
to reach out to something like nine eight eight and speak with a crisis responder
24:30
at EIRE, at your in your local state, and you want to be
24:33
able to connect with someone that can walk you through that moment in the present
24:37
moment, so that you're not acting on those suicidal thoughts. I agree with
24:42
you one hundred percent. I think in order for you to come to terms
24:47
that you need how it has to be identified, Like you have to get
24:51
take a good look at yourself and say, hey, this whatever I'm doing,
24:55
whatever I'm trying to manage, obviously this is not working. So they
25:00
therefore I need to go to a higher source. And I think for people
25:03
you know who are so such driven in their faith, I strongly believe God
25:07
sends people in your life to get the job done like he has arrangers to
25:14
help you, to assist you to get that done, so there's no need
25:18
to be biased. But that all goes back to what you've been taught.
25:22
But an old dog can learn new tricks. And part of the process is
25:27
reaching out to somebody that specializes in certain things that you have, you know,
25:33
trouble with. It may be a time in your life where it's trauma,
25:36
whereas the workplace where it's just a lot of things that are not being
25:40
dealt with, just bottled up. So if a therapist can help you channel
25:45
through all that, it's like it's like peeling an onion. And that's what
25:48
all therapy is is you're peeling your onion. You're getting to the root of
25:52
what was going on that you thought you may handle twenty years ago, thirty
25:56
years ago, five years ago. And I think that we need to encourage
26:00
our men to have that same mindset as well, because you know, a
26:06
lot of us, you know, grew up in household Like a man is
26:08
not supposed to cry, that's a form of weakness. No, the same
26:12
rules and the same methods need to be applied towards men. And I think
26:17
you know, women, whether you are made to somebody or close with a
26:21
you know particular men encourage that as well, like you know, be an
26:26
aid to a man because they have their own struggles. Societal struggles alone can
26:30
prop a man to have suicidal thoughts to go into that lane. But I
26:37
think of men get more encouragement to seek therapy, to seek a minister,
26:41
to seek a pasta. Everything would be you know, worthwhile, But you
26:45
have to make the step. No one is going to do it for you.
26:49
So you have to come to terms and say, hey, I might
26:53
a verge of doing something that is not healthy, and I have to get
26:56
to a point like maybe I need to seek a sessional help, maybe I
27:00
need to take it at a higher level to save my life. Absolutely,
27:06
I really just echo all the words and sentiments that have already been shared.
27:10
I mean, you know, Dominique, I like that you mentioned the onion.
27:12
Right when you peel the onion, you're peeling it back, it makes
27:15
you cry. So there will be emotions that are there. There's always going
27:19
to be something that comes up when I get into sessions with clients, right
27:25
and after we've had our first session or maybe the first couple of sessions that
27:27
I always like, I wish I had done this sooner, right, I
27:33
see the head nods, right, I wish I had done this sooner.
27:37
Sometimes we build up this whole scenario in our head. They're gonna know all
27:41
my secrets, They're gonna share my secrets. They're gonna say this, they're
27:45
gonna say that. Here's the reality. And as my fellow therapist said,
27:49
we cannot share. We abound by law and by we cannot share what has
27:55
been what has been said in our sessions. It is the best thing to
27:59
talk to someone you really don't know. You can tell at all, you
28:03
know what I mean. It's different biased, non biased. It's different than
28:07
talking to someone who's your mother, your sister, your cousin. There's certain
28:11
little restraints, little filters that you put in your mouth when you talk to
28:15
someone you don't know. It's like blood, you just share. Right.
28:18
And here's the thing too, especially me being in ministry, I really have
28:23
become the keeper for shepherds, pastors and those who are in ministry. Right.
28:32
There are so many pastors who commit suicide or leave leave their jobs,
28:37
leave their pastoral ship on Monday, the monday after they preach, right,
28:41
because the stress and the pressure is too much again. No one wakes up
28:48
and says today I think is the day. No, no, no,
28:49
there's a seed that's been planted, and before we try to recording, there's
28:53
a seed that's been planted. When you talk about a suicide of ideation,
28:57
it is the idea that has been planted. And you talk to any farmer,
29:02
you usually want to see that's in the ground, right, it's in
29:04
a dark space. But with suicide you don't because in the darkness it festers
29:11
and it grows and it turns into this big thing. So it's so important.
29:15
My thing is awareness. When I pull into mindfulness, aware, be
29:19
aware of the things that you're going through. Something's happening. You're not having
29:23
good relationships. I don't mean romantic relationships. I mean you're having issues with
29:27
your mom, with your dad. On your job, you're switching jobs every
29:30
year. There's things going on. Recognize the patterns that are inside of yourself.
29:34
The awareness is key. Recognize how you're feeling. Right. Do you
29:38
want to get out of bed? No? Is your room very dark?
29:41
When someone calls hey, you want to hang out? Oh? No,
29:44
you just want to stay by yourself. All those things are leading up to
29:48
potential suicide attempts definite suicidal ideations because it works best in isolated spaces, when
29:56
you're around no one, when you just have your thoughts. This is an
29:59
echo chamber. I need everyone on this panel to challenge my thoughts. Hey,
30:03
Steph, hold on a minute. Wait, that's not making sense.
30:06
When it's just by ourselves, we can let ourselves slip into something. So
30:11
the push and the advocacy for therapy is because you're important and you matter,
30:15
and what you say matters. Your voice might have been silenced as a child.
30:22
What's the toxic thing that was said? Children are best seen and not
30:26
heard. How many have us been silenced by that? Right? Your voice
30:30
matters. What you have to say, Your feelings matter. Last thing I'll
30:33
say. Then I passed the mic. When I talk to my clients,
30:36
I say this. Feelings are like jealous lovers. If you do not pay
30:40
them enough attention, they will pop up in places that you don't want them
30:44
to. They will show up in spaces that you would rather they not be.
30:47
You ever try to ignore jealous lover. They pop up at the movies.
30:49
There behind the bush. We show that we're paying attention to our feelings.
30:53
That's number one, be aware of how you feel so that thing doesn't
30:57
creep up on you and overtake you like a wave. That's the push for
31:00
therapy. Find you a good therapist and you talk to them and you share
31:06
because your life matters, right, Everything you have to say doesn't have to
31:08
be kept in here. Let us spill out so that you can go on
31:11
and have enough capacity to live another day. Ye I love educated black women.
31:19
I'm telling you all or just the bomb dot com, and I highlight
31:25
educated black women all the time because you're all the most disrespected people on the
31:29
planet. So my flowers said, every one of your ladies, thank you
31:33
all. Give me a great segue to just follow you. I'm just gonna
31:37
add to what you all have said. Let me talk for the men,
31:41
because you know, Tippy, I'm either the only guy or one of a
31:45
few guys that come on these platforms they have these. I'm okay with it
31:49
because I can talk to all of these guys, and I can talk to
31:53
these other professions, especially the first responds. So one of the things I'm
32:00
want to talk about is from the male perspective. Now, the men don't
32:04
meet over my house every Wednesday night for cigars brain. However, and speak
32:10
as a man when it comes to the effect of emotional suppression and how it
32:16
plays a huge role not only in suicide but just mental health. I say,
32:23
and this is my quote, mental health crisis is the world's oldest continuous
32:30
pandemic that's been around since the beginning of man count And then they're going to
32:35
work until we deal with the stigmas, the tables, the stereotypes, the
32:38
pain, the drama, the judgment, all of those things. We're going
32:43
to continue to see suicides, We're going to continue to see homicides. We're
32:49
going to continue to see these violent, critical incidents that I get breaking news
32:52
stories about every single day. We're at over almost five hundred for the year,
33:00
and this is just almost mad September. You know, as the boy,
33:07
I remember having male cousins that were older than me and other male relatives
33:14
that were in my family that they solidified that thought about emotional supprisent. You
33:21
know, I would getting good punched. Hey, you can't cry, you
33:23
can't show emotions, you will siste you all these tropes stuff. I was
33:29
told there were five reasons that it's okay for a male or the cry you
33:34
want to know what they are. And I'm not gonna even until you need
33:36
order because these were from various older men. You had to have a bone
33:40
sticking out of your body, You had to be crushed between a couple of
33:44
cars falling off of a multi story building. Have somebody had to have die
33:51
or was dying you, or you had to maybe evil either one to lost
33:58
a major sporting event. That's it. That's all. Anything else good punch,
34:06
you're gonna get called names, You're gonna get just crucified. Basically,
34:12
here's another thing that a buddy in mine. See, he gave a couple
34:15
examples. I threw in on one just for Claire. He talked about Will
34:21
Smith, preet slap. He talked about Tyrese Gibson. I threw in in
34:25
Michael Jordan, Tyrese Gibson. Remember when he was on his ig and he
34:30
was talking about the issues with the mother. His was crying and what happened
34:37
this dominique? They made a crying saintrees Michael jeff Bard the goat as I
34:47
caught. Look come at me if y'all I'm just saying, Michael Jeffery Jordan,
34:53
I'll get to him. Will Smith prees slap the Enttainment episode on a
35:00
Red Table talk, what happened Miss Saintrees? They made a crime out of
35:05
him? Queen is Michael Jeffrey Jordian the night of his greatest to read on
35:13
the on the night of his greatest career celebration when he was enshrined into the
35:17
NBA Hall of Fame? What happened to Michael Jeffrey Jordian? Who made me
35:22
out of him? You take all of those guys, wealthy celebrities famous.
35:30
If they can make crime means out of those guys because they're sharing their emotions,
35:36
help I get on some social media talking about my crack, Yeah,
35:40
good, bad or indifferent. I don't want to be the blood of nobody
35:45
joke. I don't want nobody making no mean amount of me. Me and
35:47
will holding stuff in like it's just like me, and don't want to go
35:52
to the hospital to they arm is hanging by a skin tag. You know,
35:58
we just are trained and brought up and raised to hold everything in.
36:06
It's that picture of apps. We got the world on our shoulder, and
36:10
we carry that weight all the way until we're underneath that dirt on that earth
36:16
that we're carrying on our shoulder. I'll even go farther than that. I
36:22
used to do a room in this app talk clubhouse and we talked about me
36:27
it's issues. We called him the barbershop talk. I always say, when
36:29
men want to talk crack, to go to the bar, to the barbershop
36:31
movement. So I said to them and I ran this room called speaks to
36:37
us to brother speak journal because I'm part of this organization, and we talked
36:43
about journaling, and I said to the guys, I said, look,
36:46
journaling is not girls stuff. It's not a diary thing. You don't even
36:51
have to write any every day. And for those men that are in opposition
36:54
of it, and this is where the suicide stuff comes into play, because
36:59
I said, you know, you have to get your emost because they're gonna
37:02
come out one way again. You're gonna either implode and do something to yourself
37:07
or you're gonna explode and it's gonna be again something that I get a call
37:12
about in one of these breaking news stories. I'm a tacking the train MS
37:17
person there, so when I see these stories all the time, you know
37:22
what happens in an act of violent critical incident or actor shooting situation because everything
37:28
doesn't involve a fire warm they just gets most attention. They look for the
37:31
journals. We look for the journals, the paperwork. They're going to go
37:36
to the houses with law enforcement, and we look for any evidence to figure
37:39
out why this person did what they did. Most of the journals and the
37:44
writings of these people either they were arrested or they were suicide by cop because
37:50
they got into a shootout with the cops or whatever. Most of the time
37:52
the letters they left say I didn't have anybody to tums, nobody to hear
38:00
what I had to say, no careing about what I had to talk about.
38:05
I get help. I wanted to get help. I needed help every
38:10
single time. Almost now. There are some people who just want their fifteen
38:15
minutes a fan and some people who really have some kid shoes. But for
38:21
the most part, I'm telling him, when it comes to men, I'd
38:23
say, get you a journal. I don't care what. I don't care
38:28
if you got some post notes and crayons or something like that. You need
38:31
to write down what's in here. If it was good enough for Tupac,
38:35
you can't tell me your forward head, but it's too good for you because
38:38
he wrote his raps, who did his journal, He did his raps and
38:43
be a poetry and he did artwork in it. If it's good enough,
38:46
Pop pleased to be upon his term soul for every more. You can't tell
38:51
me it's too good enough for you. We gotta deal with these suicidal ideations
38:54
before they become something that I gotta pronounce this person to see. Wow,
39:02
wow, wow wow, I really I have really enjoyed this on tonight.
39:10
I want people to be able to reach out to you guys and to connect
39:15
with you guys, because I think that you guys are amazing. And again
39:20
I have to thank you guys for stopping in and sharing with me on tonight
39:23
because this is this is a conversation that we need to have in our Brown
39:28
community. You know, we need to let down this this this this wall
39:32
that we've built up, and we need to we need to heal. We
39:37
need to allow ourselves to heal. And the only way we're gonna be able
39:39
to do that is to stop allowing hinderance, stop walking with the ego and
39:45
having the attitude and show how love that's that's that's how we're gonna be able
39:50
to heal and how we stop all the hinderance and stop worrying about what the
39:53
next person thinks, and you gotta find out you love you and love yourself
39:59
a off to say if something that's going on, and if you don't have
40:04
friends and family to help you, to seek out for professional help. Like
40:07
they've made it that they're making it easy for you to get help now because
40:12
you can pick up the phone and call nine eight eight and you can talk
40:15
from a certified licensing person on the other end of the phone that can help
40:22
you through. And if they recognize or feel like you need additional help,
40:27
they will make that call and have someone come to that house. So in
40:34
closing, I want everybody to be able to share how individuals can follow you,
40:39
how they can reach out for your services if they need your services,
40:44
because I often time there's people on here that just may need somebody to talk
40:47
to. So we're gonna go around again and we're gonna start with Miss Russell's
40:54
and give everybody an opportunity to connect with Tell everybody how they can connect with
41:01
you. Okay, that you would like to share in closing that you may
41:08
not have been able to share when it was your turn. You have the
41:12
time to do that now, Yeah, I mean, I guess I would
41:15
just share make sure that you connect with a good therapist if you're doing with
41:19
something like this, and also, like you said, you know, reaching
41:22
out to ninety eight if it is an emergent situation, he just needs someone
41:24
to talk to, whether it's two pm or two am. That the line
41:28
is always open in all of the states. If you hit ninety eight eight
41:30
from your phone, it will connect you with the local crisis line in your
41:35
area. So just making sure you connect with that. You can't connect with
41:38
me on all social media platforms under the handle at tree d LPC. That's
41:44
TikTok, i, g, Facebook, YouTube, all of that. Just
41:47
at tree d LPC. You can look at me there. You can also
41:50
visit the unique destiny dot org website and it's simply unique destiny dot org spilt
41:54
the correct way and that's how can you reach My contact information is my LinkedIn
42:05
full name, Dominique M. Carson, my portfolio Dominique Carson dot content Lee
42:09
dot com, my Instagram dom Carson ninety, my massage Instagram, d Carson
42:15
Lmt, and my Facebook, Facebook dot com slash DMC nine two two.
42:22
I just want to say, just from a massage therapist perspective, relieve your
42:27
stress, get into any form of medicine that's gonna help you reduce those suicidal
42:34
thoughts because you're channeling those motions that are not that's being mismanaged in addition to
42:39
the you know, in addition to the extensive therapy that you're getting. And
42:44
I think that we have to get out of this mindset that, oh,
42:47
I'm too proud, I don't want nobody up in my business. That's the
42:52
greatest love that you're giving yourself is figuring out your issues, frging out how
42:55
you could be a better version of yourself. And the first step to that
43:00
is changing your mind. And I could say from a massage therapist, I
43:04
deal with a number of people from all walks of life, from the early
43:07
ages of fourteen to almost eighty plus, and a massage in an hour can
43:13
relieve so much elements that's going on from a psychological standpoint. Some people just
43:20
need a massage to feel appreciated. And that's why I love my profession because
43:25
touch is such an innate desire that people have, and I think if we
43:30
express that more more, those suicidal percentages can definitely go down because during a
43:37
massage you inhibit a lot of those stress hormones and just releasing those endorphins and
43:42
making you feel good and elevating your mood. So in addition to that,
43:45
fine things that are the opposite of what you're feeling. I know some people
43:50
have channeled it into from sports to boxing to I know for me, boxing
43:54
definitely helps, especially as a stress reliever. So find something that will allow
44:00
you to channel those emotions healthy and you know, strengthen your faith in addition
44:07
to that as well. Yeah, absolutely, And I love the piece about
44:16
massage therapy. Right, we talked about the sebbatic trauma that sometimes in our
44:21
body, so that's so key. But finding me on social media is as
44:25
simple as typing in Seila se la h mindset. That's the name of my
44:32
business. It comes out of the Bible, out of the Book of Psalms
44:37
Seila meaning we need to sit and contemplative reflection, that we don't move too
44:42
quick, We don't move too fast when things happen to us. We don't
44:45
have to just jump into everything. We can sit in a saila and it
44:49
should be our mindset. We were always waiting a second before reacting right.
44:53
And so when we're talking about what's going on and how we're feeling and things
44:58
like that, gift your self the ability to be aware of how you're feeling.
45:02
Gift yourself the ability to breathe right. Gift yourself the ability to meditate
45:08
on the things that are above. We're gonna meditate no matter what. Meditation
45:13
is just thinking on one thing over and over again. We always are thinking
45:15
about something. We get to choose what we meditate on. And I want
45:20
to say this from the bottom of my heart. You matter and we need
45:23
you here. You belong right where you are right. No matter what you're
45:28
going through. You might be in some tough stuff. Someone might have just
45:31
disrespected you, betrayed you, you might have lost everything. We need you
45:36
here. Find somebody who can help you. Dial that number nine eight eight.
45:40
It's available to everyone. We need you right here where you are planted.
45:45
You have a purpose, you have a gift, You have something to
45:47
do in the earth. Your time has not been ended. If you need
45:52
someone to talk to, please reach out on Sale a Mindset or any of
45:54
our amazing panelists. But we want to connect with you. You have roots
45:59
here on the earth. Your time is not done. Don't end up prematurely
46:02
because you think no one's here for you. We're telling you, all of
46:05
us here, we love you, we're here for you. If you're saying
46:08
no one's here for me, five of us we are here for you,
46:12
and there are accounts of others. You matter. Remain here, Remain planted,
46:15
and connect with someone really grateful to be here. And I hope these
46:22
you know, these conversations continue right on other platforms. That would take away
46:25
the guilt and the shame of the embarrassment. If you've had suicidal adeations,
46:29
if you've had a suicidal attempt or multiple, there's no shame, there's no
46:32
guilt, there's no embarrassment. We eradicate that we remove that you are.
46:37
You were going through life, but you were still here and we still need
46:42
you desperately. So love, feel all that love, feel all that peace,
46:46
feel all of that, and I hope you make the decision to stay
46:49
and to remain. Don't be ashamed. A lot of us have had the
46:52
adeations, but you matter and we want you here. So that's my spield.
46:57
That's what I have to say. Love you and God's best. Okay,
47:01
yes, absolutely. According to the World Health organization. On average,
47:07
one hundred and thirty people commit suicide every day to us, which amounts to
47:12
approximately one person every eleven minutes. Yep, that is just It just hurts
47:22
my soul. One of the things that I wanted to say to you,
47:24
ladies is I am so honored to be part of this conversation. I want
47:31
to show you something because I just added the four you all to my superhero
47:37
wall. Here's why missus LP gotten this. This is one of my most
47:44
treasured items in my office. This is a wooden plaque. It has the
47:46
MS Store a Life and it says it's not all superheroes were capes. You
47:52
know why this is important to me because she gave this sim me when I
47:57
was active as a paramidic and the firefighter fight and I've been called hero,
48:02
superhero, I won, you know, some major life saving awards, gotten
48:07
all these accolades and all this stuff. I didn't get into the job for
48:09
all of that. I got into the job because of I want to do
48:15
my part to help us get to our humanity. And when we're talking about
48:19
suicide, the humanity in those individuals that have attempted as well as those that
48:25
have been successful is those that have attempted they were walking on thanos, they
48:35
got staged something. Those that end up getting pronounced they died of a broken
48:42
heart because they feel like nobody cared. And the work that you all are
48:47
doing, I feel like a superhero. We tend to think of the Marvel
48:52
Comics characters or the DC the Superman's and the Batman's opis and forget all that
48:59
stuff. You know, the superhero is to me, a superhero is an
49:02
ordinary person doing some extraordinary things in some extraordinary situations. Queen Angela Sanduri's dominique,
49:13
Steph, you all are superheroes in my book, because you didn't just
49:17
decide to work in these careers just for check. You want to do your
49:24
pocket helpers, get to our humanity. I posted a comment in the chat,
49:30
I said, remember these four numbers two four excrement two six forty six
49:38
in eleven. This is from a report that I saw on a i G
49:46
page called First Underscore Responders Underscore First, and it was showing the twenty twenty
49:53
three suicides year to day, and each of those numbers represent nine one one
50:00
operators or emergency medical dispatchers mts or paramedics. Because all paramedics are mts,
50:07
but now all mts are paramedics. It depends on your license. Forty six
50:12
represents law enforcement and eleven represents firefighters. So two two emergency medical dispatchers or
50:21
nine one one operators have been reported to they have committed suicide. And these
50:24
are just the ones that are reported. The numbers are waged trust, six
50:30
six MS personnel, forty six law enforcement and elect firefighters. Those numbers are
50:38
current and these were reported through the site called first help dot org as of
50:45
July seventh of this year. When I say those numbers are higher, trust,
50:49
they're a lot higher. I had worked with some individuals who one committed
50:53
suicide by coop. He was a MT, another was a medic two wings.
51:00
You know, this job has so many traumas that come with it.
51:07
We see traumas all the time and we experienced them also, And so as
51:13
a first responder again, my job is to come back home healthy, happy,
51:19
whole, so missus LP can be healthy, happening whold. So I
51:23
can minimize domestic violence in my household and eliminated it because part of that,
51:30
and I have a wider view of what domestic violence. It's just it's not
51:35
just what happens under your roof, in between your four walls. When we
51:37
see these stories about like what happened in Uvaldi, or the store in Buffalo
51:44
with the shooting at the grocery store, or any of these breaking news stories,
51:49
those are actually domestic violence because those are places where we domesticated ourselves.
51:54
Your favorite grocery store, your household, worship, your school, your academ
52:00
in the institution, in your place of business, whether you were virtually or
52:02
in a brick and water place. When violence happens at those places, they
52:07
interrupt your domestic tranquility. And so we need to understand that when it comes
52:14
to suicide, the onus is on us and it closed and I don't play
52:20
this. When we're talking about modalities, You're right laying on somebody's cops for
52:27
forty five minutes doing the Q and A is not going to help me.
52:30
We're like, we just just stop. Stop. So what we need to
52:32
do is get people to understand it. Yes, there are so many modalities
52:37
out here. Medicine has this place. I'm not saying everybody needs to be
52:42
on medication or appeal, but medicine has this place. You know, there's
52:45
kind of to behavior therapy. If you have c PTSD, which is the
52:50
complex PTSD or PTSD, E M d R is phenomenal for that. And
52:58
I'm not even finished think about the metaphysical mobility. We're talking about massigns therapy.
53:06
We're talking about raking practitioners, We're talking about EFT, that's happing,
53:09
We're talking about NLP, new or linguistic programming. You know, there's so
53:14
many modalities out there, and I and I've talked about that and have these
53:17
metaphysics metaphysicians on my podcast all the time. I interviewed one lady who deals
53:24
with For the last thirty years, she has helped people who have been traumatized
53:30
from sexual offenses, trafficking, domestic violence, suicide. You know how she
53:37
did it and how she does it using Christmas and terror cards. We did
53:40
a whole episode about that. The first fifteen minutes all we did was dispel
53:46
all thes and the misconceptions about all of that stuff, and then we did
53:51
go into it. I say that to say that there's many, many,
53:55
many metaphysical modalities to help people. It's especially when it comes to suicide.
54:01
You have got to be the catalyst in your own advocate and raised your own
54:07
state in this game that we call life, as Prince Seed in his song,
54:14
because we're all just trying to get to this thing called life. And
54:16
there's many people like myself and you four ladies that are willing and ready and
54:23
available to give the help. Whether you're man in the phones, or you
54:29
are in the streets, are doing whatever work in terms of making those brass
54:36
root connections, or you're a first responder who is talking to other first responses.
54:40
We don't get enough training on these things, so that's part of my
54:45
role. Whatever you're doing podcasting or whatever, we have to be those superheroes
54:52
that don't wear capes lpr Wow, Wow, I tell you I have truly
55:00
been blessed on tonight. I want to thank you guys for being the change
55:04
that you guys desire to see in this world. And that's what it's gonna
55:07
take. If you want change, you have to be the change. So
55:10
I bought each and every one of you guys for the amazing work that you're
55:15
doing. I wish you so much success in all that you do and continue
55:21
on this journey touching lives. I'm just excited about what God is doing through
55:25
each and every one of you. Guys. It's just amazing to see individuals
55:30
that are transparent and willing to share your willingness. I thank you, I
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thank you, I thank you. I can't thank you enough. And I
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want to thank everyone that has been tuned in tonight to another episode of the
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Crew podcast. Y'all know we are the change that we desire to see,
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so we will continue to bring you individuals that are being the change that they
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want to see in this world. I pray that your night is blessed beyond
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what you can see in the natural and know that God is working it out.
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Amen. I love you, guys, y'all be blessed. Thank you
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so much. Thank you, Hi hi guys.