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Should You Apply Marriage Rules In Dating? · The Breakfast Club

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  Speaker 1: I know.
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  Speaker 2: Your opinion to the Breakfast Club top.
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  Speaker 3: Come on, I did five five one.
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  Speaker 4: Morning.
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  Speaker 5: Everybody's DJ Envy Charlomagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club.
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  Speaker 5: We got our special guest co host, Big Sue K
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  Speaker 5: ninety seven Memphis. Now, if you're just joining us, we're
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  Speaker 5: asking eight hundred five A five one oh five one.
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  Speaker 5: A gentleman called this morning during Get It Off your Chest,
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  Speaker 5: and we're talking about this book marriage Rules in Dating,
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  Speaker 5: all right, and we were talking about should you use
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  Speaker 5: marriage rules in dating? Eight hundred five A five one
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  Speaker 5: oh five one. Charlamage said no.
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  Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I agree with him. I don't think marriage
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  Speaker 3: rules should be implied. Uh in dating are not implied
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  Speaker 3: or imposed. I don't know what the word I'm looking for,
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  Speaker 3: but marriage rules should not be involved when you're just
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  Speaker 3: dating somebody. When you do dating somebody, you're dating them,
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  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And as y'all grow in
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  Speaker 3: the relationship, then you start to say to yourself, oh,
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  Speaker 3: this is somebody I may want to be with, you know,
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  Speaker 3: as a husband, as a wife, and then that might
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  Speaker 3: start to evolve into what looks like more of a marriage,
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  Speaker 3: and then hopefully you get engaged and then you actually
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  Speaker 3: become married. But if you just dating a person, you
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  Speaker 3: ain't got a reason to be treating that person like
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  Speaker 3: a husband, and you ain't going to reason to be
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  Speaker 3: treating that person like a wife if y'all just dating.
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  Speaker 4: So you know what, I got to co sign that.
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  Speaker 6: I think sometimes people get to dating and they're too
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  Speaker 6: early in the relationship and then they start you know,
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  Speaker 6: dating with a marriage mind is one thing, but starting
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  Speaker 6: too early before you really know a person, that's when
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  Speaker 6: you run into problems.
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  Speaker 2: See.
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  Speaker 5: I also think there's different stages of dating. Right there's
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  Speaker 5: young dating, where I think people are young and they're
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  Speaker 5: just out having fun. But I think there's also an
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  Speaker 5: age where it's like people are ready to find that
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  Speaker 5: right person. And in that situation, I feel like you
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  Speaker 5: almost have to have marriage rules because you don't want
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  Speaker 5: you don't want nobody to waste your time.
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  Speaker 2: That causes a lot of problem.
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  Speaker 5: You want to make sure that that person has the
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  Speaker 5: same aspiration, the same inspiration, the same ethics, the same morales,
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  Speaker 5: even when it comes to financing and it comes to credit,
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  Speaker 5: it comes to because you're trying to build a life
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  Speaker 5: with this person, and if they're if their values don't
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  Speaker 5: fit with yours. You want to know early before you
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  Speaker 5: waste your time, because you could be in a situation
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  Speaker 5: for a yeah, and you're wasting your time with that person.
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  Speaker 3: A lot of people lose people like that though, because
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  Speaker 3: you know, you be a man or a woman that's
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  Speaker 3: really looking for marriage, like you're really looking to get
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  Speaker 3: chasing it right, and then you get with a person
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  Speaker 3: that might be forty something fifty something that don't want that,
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  Speaker 3: that person might have already been divorced, or that person
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  Speaker 3: may have never wanted to be married, and being that
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  Speaker 3: you want such a major commitment, they falling back from
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  Speaker 3: you like.
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  Speaker 5: Oh, but don't you want to know that early if
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  Speaker 5: that person's not on that same vibe as you, if
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  Speaker 5: you're ready to rock lock and you know, do it now?
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  Speaker 5: And they like, Nah, don't you want to know early
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  Speaker 5: before I waste my time, waste my birthdays, waste my valentine?
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  Speaker 2: Tell me, so we don't even go on a date.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, but at the same time, you can't go in
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  Speaker 6: play some real heavy expectations.
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  Speaker 4: On it early in the relationship.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, let's go to.
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  Speaker 4: The phone lines eight hundred five eight five one oh
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  Speaker 4: five to one Lake.
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  Speaker 3: What up?
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  Speaker 2: Lake?
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  Speaker 7: What?
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  Speaker 1: Man?
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  Speaker 7: What's going on?
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  Speaker 8: Interviewing?
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  Speaker 4: How you feeling?
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  Speaker 2: Brother?
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  Speaker 1: Can't?
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  Speaker 4: Good morning?
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  Speaker 2: All right?
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  Speaker 9: I want to stop.
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  Speaker 1: In a marriage rule in my opinion, I want to
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  Speaker 1: say that first because it's just my opinion. Dating is
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  Speaker 1: an interview, for marriage is an extend. Your interest in
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  Speaker 1: the position is show and you're performing. So if you're
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  Speaker 1: gonna show up and step better the interview, you're not interested.
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  Speaker 3: I think it's the difference in seeing if somebody is
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  Speaker 3: marriage material as opposed to laying down marriage rules, right,
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  Speaker 3: because like the things that you give a person in marriage,
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  Speaker 3: when you are dealing with an individual, you can say
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  Speaker 3: to yourself, man, this is somebody that I would.
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  Speaker 2: Do all of that force. I think what he's saying
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  Speaker 2: is true.
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  Speaker 3: I just think that you know, when you're dating somebody
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  Speaker 3: you're realizing that they are marriage material.
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  Speaker 2: That don't mean you should apply to marriage rules yet.
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  Speaker 4: Hello, who's this?
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  Speaker 7: And dingo?
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  Speaker 2: Dingo?
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  Speaker 4: What's going on wrong?
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  Speaker 8: Hey?
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  Speaker 7: What's up your husband? In a minute, how y'all feeling blessed?
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  Speaker 2: Black and holly? Favor? Good? Brother?
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  Speaker 7: That's what I'm talking about, And how you feel good?
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  Speaker 7: I'm the name, but God, I love you my brother
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  Speaker 7: Big two.
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  Speaker 4: How you doing, Hey, I'm doing good. How you doing
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  Speaker 4: this morning?
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  Speaker 7: Hey, I'm good represented Memphis. I like that you're playing great.
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  Speaker 8: Thank you.
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  Speaker 7: Absolutely so my take on this whole situation. I just
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  Speaker 7: recently started dating the night young lady. We married a
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  Speaker 7: couple of weeks in, and uh, you know, it's really
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  Speaker 7: important to make your attentions clear when you're dated, Like
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  Speaker 7: those first couple of dates are very vital to express
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  Speaker 7: yourself and what you guys want in a relationship because
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  Speaker 7: it'll make the dating process that much simpler. You know,
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  Speaker 7: we have that understanding now. We know that we're dating
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  Speaker 7: with attention and we're just not putting the pressure on
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  Speaker 7: like a time frame. We're just letting things go day
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  Speaker 7: by day and we're enjoying each other's company and that's
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  Speaker 7: really all you got to do with Then once that
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  Speaker 7: blossoms into something else, we go see where it goes.
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  Speaker 2: I agree with you so much.
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  Speaker 3: Ding Like dating, dating is a process, right, It's a
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  Speaker 3: process in which two people get to know each other better.
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  Speaker 2: Marriage, man, is when two people make a commitment to
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  Speaker 2: be together for the rest of their lives. You're not
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  Speaker 2: getting that we're just dating.
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  Speaker 4: But you got to get to that.
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  Speaker 5: But you got to make sure that y'all aligned the same,
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  Speaker 5: you know, I mean, because you can be wasting a
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  Speaker 5: lot of time with people, you know what I mean
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  Speaker 5: some people, one side might be in there for fun
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  Speaker 5: and another side might be in there for the long distance.
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  Speaker 5: But you want to know these things now. You want
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  Speaker 5: to know if you're compatible, if everything actually matches.
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  Speaker 2: That's why you date. You date to learn all of that.
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  Speaker 4: Let's call it one more caller.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, who's this?
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  Speaker 7: Yeah, what's up? And be just cue. Don't put marriage
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  Speaker 7: rules and dating themselves.
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  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you wrote the book. Yeah, we talked about
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  Speaker 4: you this morning.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 7: I wanted to elaborate on it. You know, I could
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  Speaker 7: definitely give some commentary contact to that. You know, it's
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  Speaker 7: like this. You know a lot of people get into
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  Speaker 7: relationships and they asked the wrong things. They try to
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  Speaker 7: find out the wrong things. You got to know who
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  Speaker 7: your mate is, you understand. I want to know how
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  Speaker 7: you was raised. I want to know if you had
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  Speaker 7: both parents. I want to know if you carry in
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  Speaker 7: some trauma, some PTSD. I want to know everything about you.
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  Speaker 7: You know, people talk about what the obvious, what they like,
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  Speaker 7: the superficial stuff. But I want to know what what
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  Speaker 7: I what I probably won't like, like give me the
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  Speaker 7: other stuff. Let me get to know who you are.
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  Speaker 7: What's you know? HOWE was raised?
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  Speaker 2: I agree with you? You got I think I agree?
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  Speaker 2: I agree with you. Yeah, thank you.
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  Speaker 4: Eight hundred five A five one o five one.
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  Speaker 5: We're asking, do you guys put marriage rules into dating?
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  Speaker 4: That is the question, should you? Let's discuss. It's the
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  Speaker 4: Breakfast Club.
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  Speaker 2: Good morning, it's topic time. Eight hundred five five one
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  Speaker 2: five one to join into the discussion.
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  Speaker 4: With the Breakfast Club Morning, everybody.
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  Speaker 5: It's TJ n V. Charlamagne to God. We are the
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  Speaker 5: Breakfast Club. We got our guest co host, Big Sus
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  Speaker 5: of course K ninety seven Memphis, and we're asking eight
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  Speaker 5: hundred five A five one oh five one. Do you
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  Speaker 5: guys put marriage rules into dating? Kind of feel like
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  Speaker 5: you have to, though, I kind of feel like if
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  Speaker 5: that's that's what you want as a goal, you want
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  Speaker 5: to get the I don't want to say the judge,
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  Speaker 5: but the duds out the way early.
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  Speaker 3: But what about the process, whether it dating is the
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  Speaker 3: process you're going through the process, You're learning a person,
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  Speaker 3: you're getting to know somebody better.
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  Speaker 5: I'm not saying you're giving me the ring the first day.
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  Speaker 5: I'm just saying, not even the ring.
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  Speaker 3: That commitment that comes with the ring. Marriage is a
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  Speaker 3: commitment to be together for the rest of your life.
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  Speaker 3: Correct for the person. I'm not going in there giving
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  Speaker 3: somebody that energy.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just dating.
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  Speaker 8: Hell.
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  Speaker 4: Hey, good morning, mama, good morning. What's your thoughts.
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  Speaker 9: In those relationships? I feel like marriage wills kind of
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  Speaker 9: make them well their way depending on how connect it
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  Speaker 9: you are in the relationship you in. I think will
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  Speaker 9: kind of brings themselves into the relationship that you're in, especially.
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  Speaker 8: Out of respect.
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  Speaker 9: I don't I don't feel like like you said, and
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  Speaker 9: you should be treated like a wife or a husband
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  Speaker 9: because that to me, that levels to to ative roles
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  Speaker 9: in relationships.
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  Speaker 10: But certain rules just to.
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  Speaker 9: Find their way in there. And if you expect yourself
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  Speaker 9: and know yourself, then and then you can have a
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  Speaker 9: conversation with the person that you're with and you guys
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  Speaker 9: can be mutually will mutually agree on certain aspects of
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  Speaker 9: your relationship.
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  Speaker 4: Okay, thank you, mama, Regie, good morning.
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  Speaker 8: Good morning.
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  Speaker 10: Uh to one such on the barrass subtific roles and whatever. Yes, sir,
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  Speaker 10: and I feel like, man, it's definitely made roles that
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  Speaker 10: you know, single people shouldn't get, like, uh, next week
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  Speaker 10: is my three year anniversary, and you know four three
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  Speaker 10: years ago, I couldn't see myself giving a woman pass,
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  Speaker 10: goes to my phone jailed. My location is definitely always
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  Speaker 10: and stuff like that. Man, Look, it's it's completely different,
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  Speaker 10: but I love it, you know, damn going up three years,
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  Speaker 10: you know, changed for the world. But it's definitely a
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  Speaker 10: difference and role that should be separate from marriage to day.
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  Speaker 3: And we all know the difference because we've all been
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  Speaker 3: in situations where we were dating and we've all been
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  Speaker 3: into well.
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  Speaker 2: Not all of us, but most of us are. We're
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  Speaker 2: all married, is what I'm saying. We know the difference
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  Speaker 2: between dating and marriage, right, So yes, there's.
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  Speaker 3: Certain things that you are doing in a marriage that
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  Speaker 3: you wouldn't think of doing with somebody you just dating.
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  Speaker 8: Coach David, you know what's going on these and be
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  Speaker 8: struggling me to god, how y'all doing? What?
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  Speaker 2: Say? What up the big sue, big shoe?
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  Speaker 8: How you doing, beloved?
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  Speaker 2: Good morning, Hey, good morning?
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  Speaker 4: How you doing all right?
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  Speaker 8: Listen? You asked a very good question earlier. The difference
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  Speaker 8: between being married and being you know, just dating, you know,
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  Speaker 8: as a man, as a man of a current age,
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  Speaker 8: and being married to my wife over twenty one years.
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  Speaker 8: I look at it like this, there's a difference between
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  Speaker 8: dating and courting. If you're dating, you know, we're we're
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  Speaker 8: just being friends. We're being friendly, being caught. We can
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  Speaker 8: know each other, you know, we go out on a
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  Speaker 8: few days. When courting, that's the situation. I'm probably looking
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  Speaker 8: your parents at some point. We're preparing for marriage. So
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  Speaker 8: there's a level of commitment that's there. You got to
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  Speaker 8: think about it like this. You you want eggs and
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  Speaker 8: bacon in the morning, right.
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  Speaker 2: For breakfast, turkey bacon.
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  Speaker 8: There's a different level of commitment between a chicken and
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  Speaker 8: a pig. A chicken can give an egg and still
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  Speaker 8: leg that pig gotta get his life for us to
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  Speaker 8: eat bacon. But there's a different level of commitment when you.
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  Speaker 2: Married, you're calling your wife a pig.
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  Speaker 6: Man.
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  Speaker 8: I know how I know you, Bro, I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: I'm now I don't want to no, bro, get what
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  Speaker 3: you're saying.
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  Speaker 8: I expect you respect what you need taking my guy.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, I get what you're saying, though, I do understand
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  Speaker 2: what you're saying.
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  Speaker 4: Thanks coach.
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  Speaker 2: All right, you've been coaching saying be pork. I'm hungry.
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  Speaker 2: Now I'm saying be pork.
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  Speaker 6: I Actually he made a really good point, the difference
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  Speaker 6: between you know, like courting and just dating, because some
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  Speaker 6: people are just dating and marriage isn't in the cards.
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  Speaker 6: They enjoy dating, they like the companionship. Marriage isn't a
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  Speaker 6: goal for them. You need to know that.
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  Speaker 2: I never thought about that either.
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  Speaker 3: There is levels, right, because I guess it's dating, and
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  Speaker 3: then I didn't realize courting is when you're about to
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  Speaker 3: take it to that next level, which is probably the
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  Speaker 3: engagement in marriage.
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  Speaker 2: I never thought about it like that, at definitely levels.
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  Speaker 4: All right, Well, what's the morrow of the story Tomorrow?
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  Speaker 2: Dating is a process, you know what I'm saying. Marriage
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  Speaker 2: is a commitment.
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  Speaker 3: You know, can't give somebody the commitment while you just
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  Speaker 3: going through the process.
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  Speaker 5: All right, all right, when we come back, we got
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  Speaker 5: your room and report big. So what we're talking about
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: in the rooms this time?
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we got to talk about Michael Ore.
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  Speaker 2: Oh Lord, have mercy.
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  Speaker 3: I laughed at that yesterday so much, but I always
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: knew that day was up to no good.
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  Speaker 2: In that damn house.
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  Speaker 3: I had a whole love theory okay, that I still
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  Speaker 3: think is true, but we'll discuss.
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  Speaker 4: All right, we'll get into that nextus The Breakfast Club.
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  Speaker 2: Good morning,