Latest / Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh / How to Find God's Plan Amid Chaos

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How to Find God's Plan Amid Chaos · Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh

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Hello everyone and welcome to yet another episode of Chatting with the
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Experts TV show where I speak with women primarily from Africa, from
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the Caribbean, and in the diaspora.
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These women are professionals and they are successful entrepreneurs and they share
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my mission, which is to inspire, which is to motivate and empower women globally.
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Today is no exception.
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But before I bring my guest on, I wanna tell you what the topic is.
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Our topic is finding God's Purpose in The Midst of Uncertainty.
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And my guest says, what if your waiting season isn't wasted,
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but woven into God's plan?
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So lemme tell you a little bit about her before she joins us.
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Nma Emeh is a highly sought after body image, confidence speaker and coach.
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And she's also the CEO and founder of EE Consulting Group, which is a certified
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minority women owned small business.
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Nma is on a mission to empower women and girls to break the generational
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cycle of hate their bodies, and building a lasting legacy of
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confidence, resilience, and wellbeing.
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She strives to cultivate a world where every woman and girl can thrive
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free from body image insecurity.
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And that all lines up with our topic, which is Finding God's
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Purpose in the Midst of Uncertainty.
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And so with that, why don't I welcome Nma to Chatting with the Experts.
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Welcome to the show.
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Thank you very much Mrs. Okonneh.
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It is such an honor to be here again, to be able to speak and
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serve your audience, your platform.
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So this is an honor and I'm excited to see what God has for us in the next hour.
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You know, of course I have to say amen because just like you, I'm a
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believer and I believe without a doubt that our God can do wonders.
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So thanks for bringing up this topic, because I know this is this time
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of uncertainty and there's so many people who have reached out to me
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to say, I need to hear this message.
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Yes.
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So one of the things I know we spoke about before we came on is why uncertainty
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doesn't necessarily mean you're off track.
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It all might mean that you're being rerouted.
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Expand on that if you can.
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Well, before I get to that, it's funny how this topic even came up because
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you know when Mrs. Okonneh reached out to me and welcome everyone.
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Thank you for joining.
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I forgot to mention that, and so I really hope that you get a lot of
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value from this discussion because it's a topic that had weighed on my
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heart just listening to everything that's happening in our economy today,
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and just the voices that I'm hearing either from friends or from clients.
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There's a lot of angst, a lot of anxiety, a lot of uncertainty, and
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I just felt like this was something that God wanted me to share.
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So to help women find some purpose in this season that seems like chaos.
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So that's kind of how this topic came up when Mrs. Okonneh reached
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out to me and was like, Hey, would you like to come on the show?
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Initially, I was like, well, you know, I have and then I was like, wait.
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God told me something.
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I think I have exactly what I'm going to share.
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So yes, back to your question or comment about uncertainty and how sometimes
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we may feel like we're off track or it's, or that we're being rerouted.
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That is what it is.
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It's oftentimes when God is trying to move you into a new season of something, He
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starts to reroute you in different ways.
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And I will speak from my own experience.
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What I've seen every time God wants to move me into a new season, he starts
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to close certain doors in the form of relationships that no longer serve me or
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serve me in that season or that purpose.
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Of life.
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Sometimes he has physically moved me from one location to another.
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So for instance, we've moved from California to New Jersey, New Jersey
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to Las Vegas, and now in Pennsylvania.
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And every time he's moved, there's always been a new season, a new purpose.
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So when I moved from Nigeria to America, to California in that season.
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It was a season where I would be developing myself for the
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calling that he had on my life.
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And in that time I had a small business in addition to my regular job where
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I was serving people, cooking on the side, but yet a portion of those funds
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were used to fund orphanages in Nigeria because that's where my heart really was.
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But now in where I am today, I can see how that little piece, 25
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years ago, is playing a significant part in what I'm doing today.
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So, yeah.
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So my point being is that uncertainty is not always a bad thing.
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It's just God's way of rerouting you to what he really wants to do in your life.
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And I really believe that, that purpose that he's calling you to is something
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that has to do with what has been a constant theme throughout your life.
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And that's something that we all need to sit down and reflect on over time.
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I totally agree with that, you know about sitting down and reflecting
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where he's rerouted us for, you know, at that particular time,
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especially when we are not sure.
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Because what I've learned in life is that God never puts you somewhere
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where you're not going to use whatever you're going through or whatever
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you've, you know, your experience is.
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So when you're going down, there's like, you're driving down a road using the plane
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on the word reroute, and you're looking to the sides and you're seeing things
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you know you've never noticed before.
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And sometime later someone ask you for direction and you realize, oh,
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it was just that route that I had to take a minute or two or a day or two,
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and now I can direct that person.
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So it may not have made sense to suddenly, you know, or I'm used to going
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this way and now it's been changed.
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But for somebody else, it can make a world of difference.
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So yeah, you're not off track, you're just being rerouted.
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Yes, exactly.
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But how do you recognize that?
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How do you recognize that, okay, this is the divine direction, and it's not
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just us, you know, guiding our own selves, or how do we know it's God?
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Well, that's a good question.
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Again, leaning back on my own personal experience or journey,
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like I said, it's usually something that has just been a constant theme
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at different stages of your life.
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But one thing, and I have noticed too, in addition to that, is when God is
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trying to describe or lead you to your purpose, he oftentimes will separate
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you from the pack and that separation, what that kind of looks like is where
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sometimes it's not always linear.
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We realize that our purpose is is not loud and it's not always linear.
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You have to be open to it being, you know, sort of like a windy road along the way.
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And right now, in this season that I'm in, I have been reading about women
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of the Bible and just kind trying to correlate how, where God started
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with them and where they ended up.
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So for instance, in the Book of Ruth, I just finished reading the
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book of Ruth again to see what God was doing in Ruth's life.
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So Ruth's rise to her purpose was by no means linear.
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She was a Moabite to start with and she got married with the intent that
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of course she would have kids and you know, have a nice family and everything.
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But that didn't work out that way for her.
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She lost her husband and ended up committing to staying with
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her mother-in-law, Naomi.
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We all know that story.
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And so she went back with Naomi and what helped Ruth in that moment, which some
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of us miss, is that she allowed herself or made space for herself to grow in that
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she walked in obedience to everything that her mother-in-law told her.
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She was there to serve and in those moments of her serving and just
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walking in obedience, that was when she allowed or made room for
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God to begin to move in her life.
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So sometimes our purpose happens, or oftentimes I will say our purpose
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happens when we're walking in obedience to what God has told us.
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It's the little steps.
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It doesn't always have to be something so grand.
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It's just a matter of are you taking the next step towards what
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God has has called you to do?
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It could be something as simple as just fasting once a week.
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Are you gonna be obedient?
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If God has called you to fast once a week, are you gonna be
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obedient to fast once a week?
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It may not make any sense at the time, but as you walk in those steps, as
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we walk in those steps of obedience, he continues to reveal more and more
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things as to where he's leading us.
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And that is what happened in the case of Ruth, as she walked in
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obedience in going to the field to get food for her mother-in-law in
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caring for her, in staying with her.
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That was when she met Boaz and found favor with him.
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And before you knew it, she was, you know, raised to the
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level that God wanted her to be.
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So yes, and that's how she was able to save the people of God
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when they were being tormented.
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Yeah.
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You know, every time I think about Ruth and I think about so many
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other women in the Bible many times, you know, you see how one quote
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unquote, seemingly on insignificant moment became a historical moment.
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You know, like we see how Ruth, she's in the lineage of Jesus.
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We see how Rahab, I always think about Rahab and how she's now,
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I mean the Bible tells us that she was a woman of the night.
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She was a prostitute, but now she is in the Bible and reference
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to in Jesus's genealogy.
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And so, you know, it makes you also think that many times, when we can't
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see the direction we are going, God knows what the outcome is gonna be.
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So no matter how unshaky he may be or the uncertainty we feel, He has a plan.
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There is certainty there.
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And so it's difficult during those moments to sometimes believe that or to trust him.
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But as Christians, when we go back to the word and we see instances where
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uncertainty has ended up with purpose.
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And the purpose has been divinely inspired.
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We know that there's, you know, there's hope for us.
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Exactly.
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Yes.
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Exactly.
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And, and it's just to, to stay the course.
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I mean, for me, finding my own purpose hasn't been easy.
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You know, sometimes it made no sense.
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People often ask me, how do you go from doing finance and operations to
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being a body image confidence speaker?
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Like, seriously, what's the connection?
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But when I did my own reflection, I just remember growing up.
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My body, physical appearance was always some sort of a topic of discussion,
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either because I was a big baby when I was born and that one, that kind of
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really disrupted things from my mom.
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So I'm the youngest.
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They had to stop at me.
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And then growing up as the youngest of seven.
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Constantly being compared to my sisters and not necessarily enjoying that.
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And then I move into corporate and then, you know, it becomes this
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thing of where people pay more attention to my appearance than they
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do my abilities in different ways.
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Either because people at work sometimes assume that I got promotions
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because I am more voluptuous.
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And of course now of course, that in itself was a bit insulting though.
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But those are the kind of rhetorics that I kept hearing.
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And so for me, taking that step back and doing the reflection, I'm like,
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okay, Lord, what is that constant theme?
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Why is my body a constant theme of discussion?
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Why am I so passionate about helping, you know, young girls?
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That's another thing I would go and serve in orphanages.
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And when I was on holiday from boarding house, when I was a teenager,
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my friends were out to parties.
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I was at an orphanage and that's what brought me joy.
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And my mom could never really understand.
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Why in the world would you be serving at an orphanage?
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But there was just something about nurturing babies.
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Fast forward to the pandemic when my position was eliminated and I
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was in that season of, wow, I've seen so many people die from Covid.
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What's gonna be my legacy?
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And that's when I really started to lean into, okay,
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what do I want to be known for?
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What does God put me on this earth for?
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And I really felt the calling to serve women, to serve young girls, to have
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them begin to look at themselves the way God sees them from the inside out.
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And you know, and help them understand that beauty is not defined in just
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one dimension, but that beauty is multidimensional and God sees us
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beyond just the way we look, but about our abilities and capabilities.
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And so that led me to the work that I do today.
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But trust me, finding a purpose, I quickly learned that it requires purity.
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And that purity comes from obedience.
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But in that season of purity, there is pruning and that pruning
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process is where it hurts.
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But you can't get to purity without being pruned.
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You can't get to purity without being pruned.
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That's so true.
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As you said, pruning can be painful, but the outcome is always so good.
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In the sense I'm thinking about it from the natural.
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I've become an avid gardener who would ever have believed that.
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I mean, in my house, the laughing joke was that all plants that came into my
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possession was sent to plant heaven.
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And yeah, I had that reputation.
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But now that, I mean with years of being a gardener, I've realized
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the importance of pruning.
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You're getting rid of the things that are not needed and you have to clip them off.
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So sometimes I think as I'm talking to my plant, this must hurt you,
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but it's better for the plant, for the community on the whole.
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Exactly.
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Yes.
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And so when you talked about that, I just see how, as you know, a Christian, how
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when God is pruning and changing things in our life, many times it's painful.
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Mm-hmm.
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But it's for a better cause.
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And He doesn't have us here, just for ourselves, is for a community.
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For us to impact others' lives, to impact the lives of our families, our
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friends, and even those who we don't know.
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And that sometimes, the best examples or the best way is sometimes I feel He
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reaches us is through the pruning, taking away pride of, you know, self-absorption.
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Yes.
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Things that He knows isn't good for us and having us ready to meet the person
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that he wants us to meet and change and help change or help lead to Him.
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So yes, thanks for talking about that pruning.
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Like I said, it's a painful process, but it's necessary.
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I mean, part of the pruning for me, or pruning season has also been
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seasons where He just separates, like I said earlier, he just separates.
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I've had situations where, like right now where, where we
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live, we move from Las Vegas.
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If you've ever been to Vegas, it is like light action, everything.
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And where we are now, it is, let's just say my neighbors all have chickens.
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Ugh.
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And the girl, it's like farmland and it's just nothing remotely
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related to living in Las Vegas.
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So this is a big separation from, for me, from everything that I have known
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for years ever since I came to America.
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But what I've seen is that when God wants to bless, He will separate.
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Separation comes before elevation.
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If you go through different passages in the Bible and on women, like even
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Esther, they all had to be separated in one way or the other before God elevated
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them to a place of responsibility.
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So it's in that separation that He gives you more instruction, guidance, and
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then he also will start to teach you.
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I'll recognize His voice.
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For me, it's more like recognizing his voice more and more and being
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able to identify it or distinguish it from the other voices that
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may be speaking into our lives.
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So yeah.
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Amen to that.
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Yes, I agree.
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So, you know, the other voices that may be speaking in our lives, but
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going back to even pruning, you know, when you are pruning and when there's
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uncertainty, there's an element of waiting and sometimes when you are
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waiting, it's like, you know, there's wandering, so you're like, there's a
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wander like you're asking yourself.
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And then there's also the wandering, W-A-N-D-E-R-I-N-G.
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Mm-hmm.
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Is there a difference between, you know, waiting?
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When do you know this waiting is not me just wandering in,
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you know, in any direction?
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I'm actually waiting specifically for the Lord.
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And when are you just wandering?
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Like, you know, I'm just here, I don't know what's happening, and I'm just gonna
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go down this road or do my own thing.
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Is there a difference?
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I think in the waiting season, you've already seen God's hand and it is just a
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matter of time, and that's where obedience is very crucial in that waiting season.
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You have to be obedient because God is not gonna give you what
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he knows you're not ready for.
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Yeah.
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You know, and oftentimes that place He's taking us to is gonna require
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a different level of spirituality.
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It's a growth.
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And so he has to really prepare you for it.
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Now in the wandering as in where you are, meandering, wandering,
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that kind of season of life.
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That's when and again, this is just my guess is when you
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are, we're still searching.
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, We haven't quite discovered that purpose where we don't know, and that's
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usually with, I would say, younger people in the Lord who are still
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searching for who He is, understanding and building that relationship
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with him versus in the waiting.
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In the waiting I would say that we have a more established relationship with Him.
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It's just part of the growth process to get us to that next level and
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that next season or that next calling that he's putting on our life.
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So that is what I would consider the difference between those two.
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Yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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Good answer.
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And I'm also wondering if you can talk about in this season of
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preparation, you know, we are waiting.
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How can we prepare?
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And not be so caught up with, you know, this has taken forever,
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but knowing that it's a season.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, it does.
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It does.
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I'm just thinking.
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So I think in those seasons of preparing, those are the times where you might
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find yourself being more silent.
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Again, focusing more on what is God's will and really walking in it because trust me,
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the devil is going to do anything to do derail you because in the spiritual realm,
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the devil knows what God is trying to do.
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And we may not always know, but I believe that the devil knows and wants to derail.
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So I think in preparation, those seasons of preparation, you're going
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to have to go deeper spiritually.
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What that looks like for me, like I feel like I'm in a season of
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waiting for certain things because I've seen the separation physically.
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I've also seen the separation in terms of certain relationships
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in my life that no longer work.
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That's another sign, you know?
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And i've also seen parts of the elevation, but nothing so big.
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Nothing so grand, but just certain things that God has now put in my life
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where, for instance, i've been asked without even seeking asked, oh, Nma,
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can you lead the children's ministry or can you teach the children's class?
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Why me?
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Of all people, this is in a new church where they have
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no history, behind who I am.
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They don't know that I served in an orphanage for years.
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But again, it has to be God's calling.
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So I've served the children's ministry.
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So God will start to open certain doors that are sort of aligned
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with that purpose, that thing that has been ringing true.
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For me, it was doors of serving children, serving girls, serving
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women in different capacities.
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And this is from people who have no idea what I believe God has
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called or put on my life, you know?
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So he will begin to give you those little opportunities to guide you, but what's
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important is are you recognizing them and are you saying yes wholeheartedly.
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Where you are pouring your whole heart and you're not just
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doing it because God says so.
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You're doing it because you're doing it as unto the Lord, as in giving a
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hundred percent of yourself into it.
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Because when you walk in full obedience, not partial obedience, that is
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what God is gonna honor and he will continue to open more and more doors.
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And if you're not walking in total obedience to the little that
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he's given you, and just think about the parable of the talent.
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Then why would he give you more responsibility?
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So it is being faithful to serve in the children's ministry even when it's not
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convenient or I have to wake up early, stay for two services and serve them,
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or teaching a women's conference, and serving the women, and staying after and
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answering all the questions, even though I'm wondering, okay, where's my daughter?
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Where's this person?
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Yeah.
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So it's just the being obedient in those little things, but at
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the same time trusting God and pouring your whole heart into it.
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Not expecting anything, but just doing it truly as unto
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the Lord, like the Bible says.
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That is what I would recommend we do in that preparation season.
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God is preparing your heart and preparing you emotionally, physically,
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spiritually, for that big next step that he's leading you to, and you
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need to prove that you're worthy and that you're ready for that next step.
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I love that answer.
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I love that answer.
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Preparing you to prove that you're ready.
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You know, it's like, pregnancy a way where you're preparing for this
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child and you can't see the child.
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You can see your body changing if you're a woman, if you're a man, you see the
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woman's body changing, but there's a preparation going on, and if that child
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is born too early, like at a month, I mean, I doubt... we have a physician here,
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so she'll tell me, but if that child is born too early... every stage of that
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pregnancy, there's something intentionally happening in the development of the child.
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So that nine months later, when that child is born
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mm-hmm.
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Fully formed and you know, you realize that Wow!
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All along God had, you know, there's been a process.
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Yes.
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And then in a spiritual realm, you know, waiting is like pregnancy.
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You are waiting, expecting and believing that God is getting you
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ready for what He has in store for you and for the world in general.
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Mm-hmm.
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Because we are not here alone.
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We are here to impact lives, those close to us and even those far away.
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'Cause even this message is gonna be put out on YouTube and
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other people are gonna hear it.
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'cause so many people messaged me to say, I wanna hear this message.
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Is it going to be recorded?
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Oh, oh boy.
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We ever, we've been speaking for almost 30 minutes.
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If someone wants to get in touch with you, it may not even be in relationship
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to this, but I'm sure it's gonna be in relation to this message or any other way.
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How can they find you online?
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Do you have a website?
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Are you on LinkedIn?
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Yes, absolutely.
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I practically live on LinkedIn, but I also have a website.
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You can find me @ nmaemeh.com and on LinkedIn, same thing Nma Emeh on LinkedIn.
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And I'm also on Facebook.
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Nma Speaks on Facebook, so, but I'm sure we'll provide that information later.
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But yes, so Nma Emeh, you'll find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, instagram,
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but LinkedIn is my preference.
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You know, where I do most of my engagement.
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Yes.
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And I will drop this in the chat and I'll also make sure it's in the show notes.
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I smile because I love LinkedIn as well.
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The best place to find me on is LinkedIn, then text me.
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But for those of you who are listening and to the recording, we
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have people who have joined us who will stay back and ask questions.
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So those who are listening, if you wanna be a guest, just as Nma has been on this
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show, reach out to me on my website, which is chattingwiththeexperts.com.
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I do speak with the experts.
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I'm also on LinkedIn, my favorite place to be, which, and there I am, Paula Okonneh.
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I also have a business page that I'm building up.
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There I am on Instagram.
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My handle there is at chat_experts_ podcast and I need to remember it.
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I'm on Facebook as Paula Okonneh.
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I have a business page there as well, and we are on YouTube.
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Just look for Chatting with the Experts channel, and you'll see this recording and
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all the other recordings that we've done.
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Nma, I wanna thank you so much for being a guest again on Chatting
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with the Experts and talking about this topic that is so timely.
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Finding God's Purpose in the Midst of Uncertainty.
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And now we will open up the floor to everyone who has joined us so that
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they can have an opportunity to ask you questions or even to contribute to
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what you have shared so well with us.
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Awesome.
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Thank you again.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.