Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 175 - The challenge with feedback

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 175 - The challenge with feedback · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
• 0:07
  a mastermindset coach, creative strategist, and also happened to
• 0:10
  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
• 0:12
  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
• 0:16
  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
• 0:20
  some joy into the world. So welcome to the coop and let's
• 0:23
  start your day off in a fantastic way.
• 0:27
  Hey everybody, good morning. OK, so how many times have you
• 0:32
  ever been part of something working?
• 0:35
  Maybe it was a company, maybe it was just a you were you were in
• 0:39
  sports, whatever it might have been from the time you were
• 0:43
  little until wherever you are now.
• 0:46
  How many times have you been part of something that was
• 0:50
  requiring growth and you wanted feedback and you couldn't get
• 0:54
  it? Now, this is a pretty intense
• 0:58
  question for a lot of people because getting feedback is not
• 1:02
  always pleasant and we know it. We don't like feedback because
• 1:05
  it doesn't, you know, it doesn't feel good unless it's going to
• 1:09
  help us grow and it's delivered the right way.
• 1:10
  Sometimes it can be incredibly frustrating and I know for me it
• 1:14
  has been over time because I like specific, like things to be
• 1:18
  specific. Specificity is important to me
• 1:20
  and it if I don't get it, it, it makes me feel like, OK, I don't
• 1:25
  have a clear path. OK, that's clear as mud as what
• 1:27
  I would always think in my head like, great, I need to be able
• 1:31
  to have more direction. Yet there are times that you
• 1:35
  don't have somebody that you can have that feedback come from and
• 1:40
  be delivered in a way that one, you can hear it and process it,
• 1:43
  and two, that you can take it on and maybe the feedback is
• 1:46
  aligned for somebody else in the role, but not in a similar role,
• 1:50
  but not for you. So in other words, there have
• 1:53
  been coaches, I've, I've talked to tons of clients who have had
• 1:57
  sports coaches who have taken an aggressive approach to try to
• 2:02
  get what they want, where they'll yell at them, they'll
• 2:04
  tell them they're stupid, you guys suck, whatever it is that
• 2:07
  they come out with. And they try to push through
• 2:09
  force instead of true feedback. They just try to manage it that
• 2:15
  way. And then, you know, over the
• 2:17
  years that has damaged how people can hear it.
• 2:21
  I was never into sports. So, you know, there was no
• 2:24
  chance of that ever happening because I would not play a sport
• 2:27
  team. I am just not.
• 2:29
  If it involved a ball, it was going to hit me and that was the
• 2:31
  end of it. I was not going to going to do
• 2:33
  it. I was much more of the art kid.
• 2:36
  So getting feedback on that always bothered me because art
• 2:41
  is a very personal thing. So when I would sit down and I
• 2:44
  would Draw Something, instead of saying, OK, let's work.
• 2:48
  What what is your direction? Helping me develop a, a vision.
• 2:52
  The teacher that I had would say, well, this is what I wanted
• 2:57
  you to do. And to me, as soon as they say
• 3:00
  this is what I wanted you to do, it's not art anymore because art
• 3:04
  is supposed to be a free flowing thing now.
• 3:07
  And this gets so entangled with how other beliefs come about.
• 3:12
  And the reason we're talking about this is because we all
• 3:15
  need to have feedback one way or another.
• 3:19
  Now for me, when I would hear that, I would get enraged.
• 3:23
  And then that made me stop going to art classes.
• 3:26
  That made me stop learning things because I was like, no, I
• 3:29
  want to. I want to be able to have a free
• 3:33
  flowing, you know, idea, then have it come out.
• 3:37
  It was not a class that said come learn how to draw charcoal
• 3:41
  nudes. That's very specific, right?
• 3:43
  Like, OK, I didn't sign up for that kind of class.
• 3:46
  It was signing up to learn how to use charcoals and that.
• 3:52
  And when you're learning how to use charcoals, things are going
• 3:54
  to come out differently. Everyone does things
• 3:56
  differently. So was that a teacher issue?
• 3:59
  Sure. The teacher didn't know how to
• 4:01
  present any other way. In my field of work, I have to
• 4:05
  figure out how to give feedback to people in many different ways
• 4:08
  in order for them to absorb it. So what might work for one
• 4:12
  person will not work for another.
• 4:14
  And over time, I attribute a large part of my success to
• 4:19
  being able to read this and decide, OK, well, what's the way
• 4:23
  to influence this person? And understanding how you
• 4:27
  deliver feedback is important. And also as a receiver of
• 4:31
  feedback, it's incredibly important that you remember, not
• 4:36
  everybody knows how to deliver feedback.
• 4:38
  So if you are getting like this time of the year is, is, and
• 4:42
  This is why we're doing this today is big on reviews.
• 4:45
  It's big on, hey, we're at the halfway point in the year and
• 4:48
  we're, I've got to do mid year reviews And a lot of people, one
• 4:51
  dread giving them and, and others dread receiving them.
• 4:55
  And I have clients that are in both positions.
• 4:58
  And it really made me think, I think, well, this is interesting
• 5:00
  because getting the feedback is hard, really hard.
• 5:04
  If you are getting it from someone who doesn't know how to
• 5:06
  deliver it, but also wanting the feedback and, and not having a
• 5:12
  company that can deliver it in the right manner, meaning they
• 5:16
  don't have a system for it. They don't come to you with it.
• 5:19
  You're, you're like, I really want to grow.
• 5:21
  I really want to know. And you can't get it because
• 5:25
  they're like, Oh yeah, well, we don't really do reviews.
• 5:28
  You know, we'll get to it. And and there's nothing, there's
• 5:31
  no path of growth. So if you find yourself in that
• 5:34
  position, the best thing you can do is sit down and craft out
• 5:38
  what it is that you know, you do really well where you think you
• 5:43
  could improve and how you choose to close the gap.
• 5:46
  And then you can always go to them and say, this is my own
• 5:50
  self-assessment. This is what I think.
• 5:52
  Do you have anything you'd like to add to this?
• 5:54
  And you start the ball rolling because you sitting and waiting
• 5:57
  for them is not going to get you anywhere.
• 5:58
  And remember, remember, you always have to assess who's
• 6:01
  giving you the feedback. Is that a person that you would
• 6:04
  want to attain like their where their level is.
• 6:07
  And if you admire them, if you see that they have traits that
• 6:10
  you are gravitating to, then maybe that's a good thing.
• 6:15
  Take the advice. All right, my friends, I hope
• 6:18
  you have a blessed day and I will see you tomorrow.
• 6:21
  Bye.