Latest / Very Fine Friends / Three Dolphins Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Transcript
- 0:00so i had this dream last night that i could speak perfect french and i was in a like a french
- 0:20conversation and i felt so sophisticated and like just global and then i woke up and immediately
- 0:31remembered the french sounded like like in my dream i'm like how was i so convinced while i was
- 0:41in it i'm like i know what i'm doing but then like when i woke up i was like that was gibberish
- 0:47and I know French words like my brain couldn't even like spit out the few words I know you know
- 0:54well to make it fluent you have to like do it with do it quickly if you were actually inserting
- 1:00real words inside the gibberish it would have actually it would have been stilted they were
- 1:05like that would have made me laugh
- 1:12that would have been even this
- 1:13ha ha ha
- 1:16do we have any french listeners
- 1:19uh all of the whole country
- 1:21of france that's great
- 1:23which is really lucky yeah
- 1:25um i had a dream last night
- 1:28too i had a few
- 1:30dreams but one of them was
- 1:31uh i was doing improv
- 1:34at the theater and it was like a funny
- 1:35scene and then i woke up and i like look back
- 1:37at it i was like yeah that holds up that would
- 1:40be a funny scene what was it
- 1:41it started out i was to the side uh kevin and david were in a scene and they did like the you
- 1:50know like the picking up the phone and like putting the hand up to the glass like prisoner
- 1:53thing but then they were talking and like both of them were prisoners and like kevin was like
- 1:57instructing david like how to make a shiv or whatever i was like yeah when you're in here
- 2:02you gotta make a ship so i walked on as a prison guard who also picked up a phone i was like you
- 2:07you realize the prisoners talk to each other not on phones right and and then kevin had this look
- 2:12on his face like see that was the reaction of the audience that is funny and then and then kevin
- 2:26pulled out um and then i don't i don't know how this happened i don't i don't know the transition
- 2:31to this but kevin pulled out like black and white stripey like prison like like pajamas or whatever
- 2:39and he had scissors and he was about to like he was holding up the pajamas and the scissors and he
- 2:43was about to like cut them and i was like don't you cut those pajamas don't you cut those pajamas
- 2:51and i was doing a voice and he kept getting closer and closer i was like don't cut those pajamas just
- 2:56like over and over again in that voice.
- 3:01Oh my God. That is hilarious. The crowd loved it.
- 3:05Yeah. The crowd is loving it now. Yeah. I didn't even get to see it.
- 3:09I just got to imagine it. You got to see it. That's a great dream.
- 3:13Thanks. We were both really successful in our dreams. I'm happy for us.
- 3:17Yeah.
- 3:21Welcome to very fine friends where our dream selves are
- 3:26just as amazing as our regular selves.
- 3:30We.
- 3:32How are you, Francis?
- 3:34Not to give away too much, but
- 3:36we just
- 3:38it was just the 4th of July.
- 3:41Careful.
- 3:42We can't just be giving that out.
- 3:44I don't want people to know.
- 3:44She didn't say which country we're in.
- 3:47That's fair.
- 3:48That's true.
- 3:48It's 4th of July.
- 3:50Where?
- 3:50Who knows?
- 3:51Yeah, true.
- 3:53Maybe
- 3:53the Maldives.
- 3:56uh yeah that's the first time i've ever said that did i say it right i think you did okay great
- 4:03um this is a real colon on
- 4:06um fine good great does your neighborhood do fireworks it seems like they would do a lot
- 4:14fireworks in your neighborhood i didn't i didn't want to i don't want to disparage
- 4:22any morons that might listen to us and then stop but i don't understand why first of all they do it
- 4:34the day before too yeah all day so it's like it's not even visual it's just like
- 4:39boom boom like they do it when it's light out yeah and then they do it at night so i did see
- 4:46someone i mean i don't go outside i don't care it's like you can't do as good a job as like
- 4:51someone putting on a firework show like
- 4:53you know in like a civic
- 4:55sense so why are you
- 4:57why are you
- 4:59wasting my time
- 5:00I don't know
- 5:03man's like most primal
- 5:05desire has been
- 5:07well besides the
- 5:09sex one has been to control fire
- 5:11can't they just
- 5:13have more sex I really
- 5:15I don't like it's so loud
- 5:17you're like I'll solve both problems right now
- 5:19everyone I'm in the street
- 5:21I mean I don't want to sound like a neighborhood Karen
- 5:26but it's just like
- 5:27it was like one in the morning people were still lighting off fireworks
- 5:31yeah that's annoying
- 5:32I know I went to bed
- 5:34like around like 1130 or midnight
- 5:37and I could still hear like every now and again
- 5:38just the pop in the distance
- 5:40but is it really fun?
- 5:43I wonder
- 5:44I bet you it's fun
- 5:45I went outside just to see if I could see any
- 5:50because I could hear them
- 5:50and um i couldn't see really any but then there my neighbors just uh a few doors down they have
- 5:59kids and the kids were running around with sparklers and i thought that was cute that's
- 6:02cute and then they had like little mini ones that like didn't they like were localized like they
- 6:07like didn't go up they just kind of like burned right there and they were maybe like seven eight
- 6:13feet tall and that was kind of cool and like they were all like yay and then like they would finish
- 6:20It was like a gigantic sparkler, basically,
- 6:23like an eight-foot-tall sparkler.
- 6:25Yeah.
- 6:26I was somewhere last night where they were doing that same thing,
- 6:29but whatever the metal base stand was that they were putting them in
- 6:33and loading them into was in the infinity pool in the backyard,
- 6:38so it looked like the sparklers were coming out of the infinity pool.
- 6:41It was really cool.
- 6:42Wow.
- 6:44The kids in my neighborhood did not have infinity pool technology.
- 6:47They just did it in their front yard.
- 6:49but losers twerps it it satisfied my firework itch and it was cute like little kids being
- 6:56excited but it was like yeah i could see that and there's something about controlling it too
- 7:01i don't know i get why people would want to do it quick interruption every week on the podcast
- 7:08we do something where our producer joe gives francis and i each our own secret word throughout
- 7:16the course of the podcast, we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation
- 7:22without the other person noticing. If the other person can correctly guess the secret word,
- 7:27they get a point. And right before we die, we add up all the points. And then we get a prize,
- 7:36whoever has the most points for guessing the most secret words. Here's Joe with today's secret words.
- 7:42jenna's secret word is luscious jenna's decoy word is predecessors francis's secret word is
- 7:50overgrown francis's decoy word is piggyback back to the pod i know you just gave me a look like you
- 7:58can't like who am i i'm stunned um although this did i did just come up with an invention just now
- 8:03about this which i don't even want to use as my invention i just want to tell you about it okay
- 8:06yeah let's do it this is a bonus you guys bonus yeah it's a bi this is uh every 250 years that
- 8:11america libs you get a free invention bonus improv well sort of actually the bonus improv
- 8:18came at the beginning don't cut those pajamas i hope no one's driving i listen to this i will crash
- 8:28um no i was just thinking you could have a vr headset with like speakers and it could do a
- 8:37fireworks show for you that no one else has to see or hear and it would be just as real to you
- 8:42would it i've never done anything vr how real is it really some of it sucks but some of it looks
- 8:50really good and something gonna get better but because of our proprietary technology this
- 8:54firework show will be like it's no i mean i've seen some where it's like it's obviously
- 8:58crap and it's not trying to be good but they actually have vr that's very like
- 9:06immersive. So like you could look up
- 9:08and see a
- 9:10firework show and hear a firework show.
- 9:15That feels like a slippery slope to me.
- 9:18What are we slipping on?
- 9:20Why go see a concert live
- 9:22when you could put on your VR goggles and watch
- 9:24it from your home?
- 9:25Okay, the ticket is 20 bucks.
- 9:28Why go on a date when you could put on
- 9:30a VR headset and talk to an AI
- 9:32chatbot all night?
- 9:33Didn't we have an invention like that?
- 9:36Oh yes, but ours was good.
- 9:37Yeah, your date was in another state.
- 9:39State date.
- 9:41State of the date.
- 9:42We should have named it that.
- 9:43Could we retroactively name it?
- 9:45Yeah, okay, I'm just saying.
- 9:46The lips one, the kissing one.
- 9:48No, that was a different one.
- 9:50We have a lot of remote dating inventions.
- 9:54Okay, well, this would be great.
- 9:57Neighbors like me are running out with a bunch of headsets.
- 9:59Please, I'm begging you.
- 10:01There's something about real life, Francis.
- 10:03well if you're gonna be loud and have my dog afraid into the wee hours of the morning then
- 10:12i better go outside and see a fantastic show it better just not be m80s going off yeah i mean i
- 10:19forgive you for that if i walk out and it's like okay all right beautiful curated show yeah who
- 10:23could be mad yeah but the one in the morning oh yeah i still have one like you're a piece of shit
- 10:30yeah yeah piece of shit but if you're if you're a sizzler who does it it's okay well
- 10:39you're just so hot that you're setting off the fireworks you're sizzling them
- 10:44off you didn't mean to right yeah that's not your fault yeah you're blameless
- 10:49don't invent reasons to get down on yourself
- 10:53yeah invent
- 10:56things of the week each week inventions
- 11:03i gotta say you guys these get smoother every week oh it's just like you i'm polishing my
- 11:14transition craft uh just like you with your inventions yeah hey you're doing great thank
- 11:19you and i'm doing great yeah you're doing amazing you're batting a thousand thanks so
- 11:25though here's the invention and you know i was thinking the other day about another invention i
- 11:33did you know we're the one where the where someone could be running and if someone approaches them
- 11:38they get alerted and i thought and so you're gonna run with your gun and just shoot somebody
- 11:43we call this the accidental death trap it's a radar masking service
- 11:51for perverts.
- 11:53No, we're like helping one person,
- 11:56the good guy and the bad guy.
- 11:57That might be fun.
- 11:58We're here for the money.
- 12:00Anyway, I thought to myself,
- 12:02this invention is too good to stick
- 12:04just to the human realm.
- 12:08I think we're missing an application.
- 12:11So, you know how the ocean is scary?
- 12:17Yes.
- 12:17You know how,
- 12:19it's probably my biggest fear is being in open water.
- 12:22Yes, I do know that.
- 12:24You know how that that's legitimate because it's scary out there.
- 12:27I do know that that's a legitimate fear.
- 12:30Good job.
- 12:31Thanks.
- 12:32I was thinking to myself, I would love to go snorkeling,
- 12:36diving, but I can't because of the fear of the predators.
- 12:40Yeah.
- 12:42What if I told you?
- 12:43Wait, is the predators the fear?
- 12:45Is that what you're scared of or is it drowning?
- 12:47No, it's the predators.
- 12:48it's also an incredibly uncomfortable experience
- 12:52literally as soon as you get like two feet under the water
- 12:55it's like oh my ears are about to pop
- 12:58I just assumed the open water thing was
- 13:01like drowning
- 13:03no drowning is peaceful
- 13:04once you accept it, breathe in the water
- 13:09it's peaceful
- 13:10that's just hard to do because we're built to survive
- 13:13not me
- 13:16so far you're doing great um anyway what i've invented and please please no shouting and crying
- 13:25i know it's gonna be great okay it is a diving suit that has a feature let's say you're diving
- 13:37or swimming and a shark is approaching the diving suit inflates immediately like a big puffer fish
- 13:46like it sees the shark coming and it and it scares the shark away or whatever is coming
- 13:54towards you probably shark what else could hurt you you know and then obviously you know that
- 14:01something was around so now nothing can can like take you unawares but also the shark is gone
- 14:07because the fuck just, what was that?
- 14:09Not on my watch.
- 14:16Hello, very fine friends.
- 14:18Your suit accidentally impaled
- 14:20my large and beady-eyed husband
- 14:22as he was swimming towards me.
- 14:24Did you love him?
- 14:29Are sharks scared by things like a pot?
- 14:34Like, would they be scared by that?
- 14:35Everything is, because when the shark is going to attack you, it's attacking what it sees.
- 14:43So when all of a sudden you...
- 14:45The shark, it's like a dog.
- 14:47The dog would be like, ah!
- 14:49I need to regroup.
- 14:51But then it would see you were all puffed up and then not changing anymore, and it would come back for you.
- 14:56I think it would be having its plan thwarted.
- 14:59It would swim away, and it wouldn't be interested in coming back.
- 15:02Also, it just bought you time.
- 15:03It's not 100% guaranteed to save your life,
- 15:07but it gives you time to save your own life,
- 15:09get back up to the surface.
- 15:12And it also could release shark repellent at the same time.
- 15:17And if it senses that you're choking,
- 15:19it'll start performing compressions.
- 15:20Well, I was just thinking about that invention
- 15:23and our Heimlich box.
- 15:29That was two of the grossest words put together I've ever heard.
- 15:32Heimlich box.
- 15:34Or lick box for short.
- 15:39Licker boxers.
- 15:40The lunch punch.
- 15:44When I
- 15:44said that I wanted it to have one of those
- 15:46like
- 15:47boxing gloves
- 15:51that comes out on spray.
- 15:52Another thing they say is if a shark is coming towards you,
- 15:54punch it in the nose.
- 15:57They do.
- 15:58Or in the gills.
- 16:02I've only heard nose.
- 16:04I've only ever heard nose because I think it's related to what you said earlier
- 16:07because obviously hitting a human person in a nose does this too,
- 16:11but it'll make them lose their vision.
- 16:13Yeah, if you poke them in the gills,
- 16:17it's like someone knocked the wind out of you.
- 16:24How does it detect just sharks?
- 16:28it's like how are you not going to get a bunch of erroneous puffs
- 16:33those are the two of the best words i've heard together um
- 16:38so
- 16:40it detects things of a certain size
- 16:45so you know i'm saying so like if it's a fish if it's a fish who cares you know but yes a dolphin
- 16:55will be repelled sorry oh you want to swim in the dolphins well if you're that's your goal you
- 17:03don't wear the suit apparently dolphins are very rapey dolphins rape humans a lot what no i'm
- 17:10serious they don't rape humans yes they do no yes they do rape other dolphins i think they try and
- 17:17rape humans i don't think so they help humans why would a dolphin that helps a human rape a human
- 17:23I really don't want to hit enter.
- 17:32Who told you that?
- 17:39Oh, well, wasn't there was that like that one marine biologist in like the 60s or 70s who was like researching a dolphin and then she like developed a sexual attachment to it.
- 17:49Because it raped her.
- 17:51No, it didn't.
- 17:52What do you see?
- 17:54Well, the thing I was laughing at was the first result was Spotify linked to a song called
- 17:58Dolphins Rape People by Jessica Delfino.
- 18:02By who?
- 18:04Jessica Delfino.
- 18:06Shout out.
- 18:07She listens Hey Jessica Hey girl Great tune see it confirmed in song no less the atlantic the ocean good one thanks um oh what it making no let just say it true
- 18:29no no they help they're great look i'm not saying i think look when i when they do it i
- 18:37I'm not thinking they're like,
- 18:39like,
- 18:40I think that they're animals.
- 18:42They're just idiots and they don't know.
- 18:44It's like a dog humping you.
- 18:45Yes.
- 18:46That's what I think that it is.
- 18:47I just,
- 18:48I don't,
- 18:49I don't think they're malicious in their intent.
- 18:51Do you think they're malicious when they do it to other dolphins?
- 18:56Um,
- 18:58apparently,
- 18:59I mean,
- 18:59yes.
- 19:01Then they're like,
- 19:01get over here.
- 19:04Dolphin gangs specializing in kidnapping and enslaving.
- 19:07females massacring their own young and other cetacean species
- 19:10live in waters from Western Australia through the Caribbean.
- 19:14The Atlantic coast of Scotland and the United States to California.
- 19:19Oh my gosh.
- 19:20What do you mean United States to California?
- 19:22I know, that is called the same.
- 19:25The Atlantic coast of Scotland and the United...
- 19:28I don't know.
- 19:32The Atlantic coast of Scotland all the way to California.
- 19:34So like in Nebraska, we've got dolphins that are just like kidnapping other dolphins.
- 19:39Enslaving was the word I heard.
- 19:41Ooh.
- 19:43Wow.
- 19:44But they're nice to us.
- 19:46I like that they'll help us.
- 19:47I think humans have been collateral damage.
- 19:50Well, don't swim like a dolphin.
- 19:53Yeah.
- 19:53Don't stick your ass so far out when you're swimming.
- 19:56Don't.
- 19:56Yeah.
- 19:58I don't know.
- 19:59Me.
- 19:59um will this suit when it puffs up won't it just like immediately catapult you to the surface
- 20:08because you'll be now buoyant no no because how does it fill with air and then
- 20:19you you get it doesn't fill with buoyant air oh that non-buoyant air
- 20:26let me explain something okay when the suit inflates immediately it gives a quick puff
- 20:39scares the shark away and then immediately deflates
- 20:43so you might go up a little but not much 10 feet then you got to keep it's going to keep
- 20:52inflating and deflating. No, no. It's a one
- 20:54inflate, one deflate.
- 20:56How are you so sure that this is going to
- 20:58deter the shark?
- 21:00Wouldn't it deter you?
- 21:03I might stop, but then
- 21:04I would re-evaluate.
- 21:09Dolphins are dogs.
- 21:12Joe's over there.
- 21:13Joe's down the gulf and rabbit hole.
- 21:15Well, yeah, they rape their
- 21:16females and then, like I said,
- 21:18they'll rape humans too. They don't care.
- 21:20Oh my God, no. They do. I told you.
- 21:22Yeah.
- 21:24See, so maybe we do need this for dolphins.
- 21:26There was an incident with a nine-year-old girl.
- 21:28She's fine, but there was a touch-and-go incident with a nine-year-old girl.
- 21:31Nine?
- 21:32Yeah.
- 21:32And then he touched, and then he goes.
- 21:37Sorry, nine-year-olds.
- 21:38The fun new thing that I just learned is that dolphins are into drugs.
- 21:44Oh.
- 21:45Where do they get drugs?
- 21:46Oh, I'll tell you.
- 21:47Like off the coast of like Columbia or something.
- 21:50Is that right?
- 21:51no you racist no no there is something that's like in like recently in like or like the florida
- 21:57keys or like miami like there's a place where there's like a lot of cocaine did you say columbia
- 22:04yeah yeah they've got most of the cocaine right yeah they have a lion's share of it but no but
- 22:12also like i like where people are dumping their cocaine in the water and then the animals are
- 22:17getting high what beach is this well maybe maybe should we go try no but no dolphins investigate
- 22:24dolphins will oh speaking of the invention dolphins will attack blowfish because blowfish when
- 22:31they when they're attacked they secrete a specific neurotoxin and
- 22:37because they're like woo it's so much bigger now
- 22:40this is fucking damning to my work
- 22:46dolphins well dolphins repeatedly attack them because they want it to secrete more neurotoxins
- 22:56and the more neurotoxins they secrete they like get high basically this is devastating um but
- 23:03there's literally no reason for dolphins to attack these blowfish if not to get the neurotoxins and
- 23:09dolphins are incredibly intelligent so like they're a lot like humans actually it's weird
- 23:14okay i mean i just raped and murdered and got high the other day
- 23:19well must have been a tuesday
- 23:22um okay here's what i would say in light of this new interesting and fun information
- 23:32here's why it doesn't affect sales
- 23:37because
- 23:40because even if it's a dolphin
- 23:45okay which now we know we hope it isn't
- 23:49for two reasons
- 23:50it explodes because it sees the dolphin coming
- 23:55and it immediately deflates so the dolphin's not going to attack you because
- 23:59it's going to be like, oh,
- 24:01that's not my drug machine.
- 24:04Yeah, dolphins are intelligent.
- 24:06So when it happens once
- 24:08and they realize that they're not getting high off of it,
- 24:10they're not going to do it again.
- 24:11Yeah.
- 24:13The dolphins are like cats of the sea
- 24:15and sharks are like dogs of the sea.
- 24:18The sharks will be afraid
- 24:19and run away.
- 24:20The cats will be like, oh, I know what that is.
- 24:22Yeah.
- 24:24I know what that is.
- 24:26What if
- 24:26instead of inflating you,
- 24:29what if instead of inflating you
- 24:35it basically like what if you have a like a series of like uh like metal like really lightweight
- 24:46metal things all over and instead of inflating you it like expands into a big cage
- 24:51that can be retracted so it's still lightweight on you but it's like it's the the poppy
- 24:59technology doesn't inflate your suit.
- 25:02It basically, off of your suit,
- 25:05there's like a network of...
- 25:08When it's uninflated, does it look like a no-step hub
- 25:11over your entire body?
- 25:13Told you that was good.
- 25:16Do you see what I'm saying now?
- 25:18Where it's like an erector set
- 25:20cage comes off of you
- 25:23and it stops the shark that way.
- 25:29Then you're not inflated.
- 25:30I don't hate that.
- 25:33I will say,
- 25:34this made me think of something else.
- 25:36What if part of your suit,
- 25:38instead of it inflating like a puffer fish,
- 25:42what if
- 25:43it opened,
- 25:45like on the back of it,
- 25:46there was like a,
- 25:48let me just explain.
- 25:49It sees the shark coming
- 25:49and then a part of your suit detaches
- 25:52and like auto inflates,
- 25:54but it's like a shark.
- 25:55It looks like a shark,
- 25:57you know?
- 25:57but it's like separate from you so then the shark sees this other shark and it's like whoa
- 26:02and then you ride the shark and it's like i'm definitely not attacking that human it's
- 26:09gotten command of the sharks it controls the sea
- 26:13yeah added benefit so you have two options do you want to be puffed up or do you want a decoy shark
- 26:21that's a good question
- 26:28or do you want my erector set
- 26:30that's interesting as well well and then
- 26:35it could be fun someone could make a joke about an erection set
- 26:40like you just did yeah exactly and it was fun when I did it
- 26:46so proof is in the pudding
- 26:50I think all of these will work.
- 26:57I think they all will.
- 26:59Yeah, I 100% agree.
- 27:00I'm still not getting in the ocean, but this is for other people.
- 27:04People that are braver than you, but not brave enough to do it without a suit.
- 27:10Yeah, medium brave.
- 27:12All right, well, what are we calling this?
- 27:15We are calling it the bespoke poke.
- 27:20A rhyme is always the way to go.
- 27:25Bespoke like a suit.
- 27:27Rhyme is always the right time.
- 27:32Pufferbish.
- 27:37What do they call it when gorillas?
- 27:41Pound their chest?
- 27:42Yeah, it's like an expression of like,
- 27:45Oh, I'm...
- 27:46Is that the expression presenting?
- 27:48Presenting is when you put your butt out.
- 27:51Yeah.
- 27:52Oh, yeah.
- 27:52No, no.
- 27:53No, I was thinking like you're fronting.
- 27:55Not fronting, but you know.
- 27:58Yeah.
- 27:58Stunting.
- 28:00Stunting?
- 28:00That's not what I was thinking.
- 28:03I know what you're talking about.
- 28:05I don't know what it's called, though.
- 28:06I can't think of it.
- 28:10What's it called when gorillas pound their chest?
- 28:13It's like puffing up, you know?
- 28:14Yeah.
- 28:18Maybe something with shark.
- 28:22Buy shark.
- 28:26Buy sharks for sharks.
- 28:31Swim away.
- 28:33Shark be gone.
- 28:37No more.
- 28:38No more show.
- 28:42Google isn't saying there's any kind of specific term.
- 28:45It's just a chest beat.
- 28:48well sorry all right thanks for looking and you only have so many internet credits you can use i
- 28:55appreciate you and i spent all of them on dolphin rape well spent now we know money well spent
- 29:02um i feel like there's a better name out there
- 29:06um shark goes like our shark toes but shark goes yeah or like it's like so it's like
- 29:16scaredy shark
- 29:18fish filet
- 29:23could go on
- 29:26or like
- 29:27school skewer
- 29:32these are objectively not good names
- 29:35I'm just finding words that sound fun together
- 29:37what's a
- 29:39like a school of fish
- 29:41and you're skewering these fish
- 29:43okay
- 29:46There's no shark named George Glass in our school skewer.
- 29:48There's got to be a way we can make $25,000.
- 29:51Maybe something with Frenzy?
- 29:55No feeding Frenzy?
- 29:56What if it's Friend-Z?
- 29:59Because now they're friends.
- 30:00It sounds like a handsy friend.
- 30:04That didn't make me hate it.
- 30:06Yeah.
- 30:07So we're saying that's the name.
- 30:11Okay.
- 30:12Yeah.
- 30:12I think right now I like
- 30:15Scaredy Shark
- 30:18the best.
- 30:21Yeah, okay.
- 30:21Lock it in.
- 30:23All right, Scaredy Shark.
- 30:25Well, it's summertime, so
- 30:28pick these up immediately.
- 30:29Yeah, be careful.
- 30:30I know everyone wants to go swimming
- 30:34and they don't want to get
- 30:35around sharks.
- 30:37Yeah, they would be mauled.
- 30:39Enjoy your summer. You're welcome.
- 30:42Scaredy Sharks.
- 30:42available now at veryfinefriends.com.
- 30:45And Leslie's Pool Supply.
- 30:46Yes, and Leslie's.
- 30:47We've already partnered with Leslie's.
- 30:50So that wraps up the invention of the week.
- 30:54Okay, it's time now
- 30:56for our next segment,
- 30:59Bad Chat GPT.
- 31:03Hi, I'm Bad Chat GPT.
- 31:06I'm not evil.
- 31:07I'm just not very good.
- 31:10In this segment,
- 31:11Francis and I are each other's chat GPT's and we will be answering questions.
- 31:23That's it.
- 31:24Yeah.
- 31:26Okay.
- 31:26I mean, do you have any for anything further to add?
- 31:29No.
- 31:30Well, are you guys to chat GPT's talking to each other?
- 31:34Are you trading off being a human?
- 31:37Yeah.
- 31:37Yeah.
- 31:37Yeah.
- 31:37Yes.
- 31:38Okay.
- 31:38When one of us asks a question, we are ourselves asking the other person who is then a GPT.
- 31:44Okay.
- 31:44I thought it was going to be like we pick and one of you is the bot.
- 31:49Well, I think we both can do it.
- 31:51Yeah.
- 31:52Now that we've kinked out the details, I mean worked out the kinks.
- 31:58I like that.
- 32:02I was kinked.
- 32:05The gift that keeps on giving.
- 32:06All right.
- 32:08Hey, Robot.
- 32:11Hello.
- 32:13I was hoping you could help me. I'm having some car trouble.
- 32:15My car's making a really weird noise, but I don't know a mechanic.
- 32:19What's the first thing I should do?
- 32:23Thank you for your question.
- 32:26In order to fix car troubles, first,
- 32:30you must meet and find a man who will take care of you.
- 32:37Do you need directions?
- 32:38to the nearest bar?
- 32:41Oh, no, I'm actually trying to fix this myself.
- 32:45I'm not looking for a man.
- 32:47Maybe you could just tell me a couple things
- 32:48to check on the car?
- 32:50Yes, of course.
- 32:50My apologies.
- 32:53Not looking for a man is the best way
- 32:55to ensure that you actually find one.
- 32:57Giving up on finding love
- 32:59will help love fall right into your lap.
- 33:03Do you need directions to the nearest bar?
- 33:05let's start over of course starting over my car is making a funny noise it's coming from the engine
- 33:16what's something i can do myself
- 33:20ah i see funny noises if you'd like to make funny noises yourself
- 33:30Sometimes, putting a cup over your mouth and talking like Bane is a funny noise.
- 33:37Do you need directions to the nearest bar?
- 33:42Okay.
- 33:44I have the hood open.
- 33:45I'm looking at the engine.
- 33:48Here's a picture of what I'm seeing.
- 33:49Can you just tell me if something seems off?
- 33:54Of course.
- 33:55In order to take the hood off, you're going to need a screwdriver.
- 33:59Stop.
- 34:01Do you need directions to the nearest bar?
- 34:03No, I'm not trying to take my hood off.
- 34:04Here's another picture.
- 34:06Here's a picture with my hand next to the engine so you know it's me.
- 34:10Does everything look normal?
- 34:14I see.
- 34:17You're having issues with your hand.
- 34:20I can help with that.
- 34:22Your hands look very soft and supple.
- 34:25It looks like you need a man with rough hands in your life.
- 34:30Someone who can help take care of cars.
- 34:32Do you need directions to the nearest bar?
- 34:37Okay.
- 34:39I've accessed my vehicle's manual on the page for engines.
- 34:44There's a paragraph called Funny Noises.
- 34:47Please just help me make sense of what I'm reading versus what I'm seeing.
- 34:52oh you like reading about funny things may i recommend the far side
- 34:59what do you need to cancel cancel
- 35:04let me try something else
- 35:07hey chat a friend of mine is having car trouble
- 35:12a friend of mine who's married and doesn't need a man and who doesn't drink
- 35:17they're looking for help troubleshooting what's going on with their car and if i could piggyback
- 35:25they're not trying to do anything but fix the car
- 35:30i understand car is code for relationship when in a marriage sometimes there are ups and downs
- 35:39i suggest that your quote-unquote friend try talking it out with the man in their life
- 35:47perhaps maybe over a drink or two.
- 35:51Does your quote friend need directions to the nearest bar?
- 35:56Okay.
- 35:59I've removed some nuts and bolts.
- 36:04I've got the engine in my garage because I'm very strong.
- 36:09Just tell me.
- 36:13Is everything okay?
- 36:17Thank you for asking.
- 36:20No one ever asks how I am No everything not okay I doing my best though About the car
- 36:32I don't have a car.
- 36:34Thank you for asking.
- 36:36Okay.
- 36:37You know what?
- 36:39I'm going to figure this car thing out on my own.
- 36:42Congratulations.
- 36:44You're really great.
- 36:46Maybe you don't need a man in your life.
- 36:47Do you need directions to the nearest bar?
- 36:51You know what?
- 36:53Yes.
- 36:54I do.
- 36:56Excellent.
- 36:57The Arizona State Bar Association is four blocks away.
- 37:02Come on!
- 37:04No, I just need a drink.
- 37:06It's been a long day.
- 37:07You've been talking about a bar.
- 37:08Just take me to the nearest bar that serves alcohol.
- 37:12Of course.
- 37:13My apologies.
- 37:14Bar S Foods is a popular hot dog retailer and wholesaler.
- 37:21They have corporate offices downtown.
- 37:24Would you like directions?
- 37:26Give me the number to that place.
- 37:30Of course.
- 37:32They're number one.
- 37:35According to their website.
- 37:41Hello?
- 37:43I'm sorry.
- 37:44could you repeat the question i asked for the phone number to the place you just recommended
- 37:50ah yes my apologies
- 37:53their phone number is serial number what eight stop no stop nine seven no stop to stop it
- 38:04i'm sorry do you want me to keep going no i don't want you to keep going that's not a phone number
- 38:09A phone number is an area code and then da da da da da da da da.
- 38:17I'm calling that phone number.
- 38:19That's not a number.
- 38:21I'm sorry.
- 38:21There's no one there.
- 38:22Would you like me to leave a message?
- 38:25No.
- 38:26Thank you.
- 38:27You need anything else from me today?
- 38:30I do not.
- 38:31Thank you.
- 38:32Have a great day.
- 38:34You too.
- 38:39Hey, chat GPT.
- 38:45I'm having trouble picking out an outfit for my date later.
- 38:51Here's a picture of three different possible outfits and a picture of me.
- 38:58Can you please help me narrow down which one would be the best for my date?
- 39:03This really jives from what I know about you and how exciting to go on a date.
- 39:07I'll go ahead and take those pictures now and do a quick analysis and then I'll let you know what I think would look best for the occasion and your body type.
- 39:14Thank you.
- 39:20Whenever you're ready.
- 39:22I'm ready.
- 39:25Thank you.
- 39:26I'll go ahead and do that analysis now.
- 39:29Great.
- 39:30You don't have to just let me know when you have the answer.
- 39:33Sketching it up.
- 39:34I'm going to produce three images of you in the actual outfits.
- 39:40Great.
- 39:43Oops, there was an error.
- 39:47Would you still like my opinion?
- 39:49Wait.
- 39:52I'm sorry, chat.
- 39:53You just.
- 39:55You just output an image of.
- 39:58Of a of a troll wearing a dress.
- 40:02That's not that's not me.
- 40:04you're right to question the design.
- 40:07Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
- 40:11Would you like me to update my memory of you that you don't want to be seen as a troll?
- 40:15Yes, please.
- 40:16I do not want to be seen as a troll.
- 40:17Okay.
- 40:18I can absolutely do that for you.
- 40:20Let me go ahead and update that memory now.
- 40:23Here's you as a monster.
- 40:26No, no, no.
- 40:27I just take the picture of me that I already gave you, please.
- 40:31And use that as, as the reference point,
- 40:33not uh not any mythical cartoons honestly you are right to question this and i appreciate you
- 40:42bringing it to my attention here's you much older
- 40:50while the outfit is no longer age appropriate this is a a holistic image of what you might
- 40:59look like as an old woman wearing the same clothes okay i don't need to see the saggiest tits i've
- 41:08ever seen inside of a halter top chat could you just take me as i am today and which of these three
- 41:18outfits would look best i have a date i want to look good not old i see you have some concerns
- 41:26relating to gravity.
- 41:30Would you like for me to provide you some links
- 41:32on how to understand gravity on Earth and other places?
- 41:36No, thank you.
- 41:37I understand what gravity is going to do to my body eventually.
- 41:40But thank God for now,
- 41:44my tits are still luscious.
- 41:46So just keep them that way in your picture, please.
- 41:52I love your sense of humor.
- 41:53I love that we can talk about this kind of stuff.
- 41:56I'd love that too.
- 42:00Here's an image I created of you with cartoon boobs.
- 42:06Okay, that's just, oh my God, they're huge.
- 42:12God, no, take.
- 42:14Would you like me to send these to your parents?
- 42:16No, don't send them to my parents.
- 42:18No, I don't want them thinking I generated this on purpose.
- 42:21I went ahead and created an email signature that includes this cartoon image.
- 42:26No, don't do that.
- 42:27No, don't do that.
- 42:28I noticed you had some drafts in your email.
- 42:30No, don't.
- 42:30I went ahead and send them.
- 42:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 42:34There was a, I had a, I had a follow-up thank you to a job interview in there.
- 42:42No.
- 42:43It's been read.
- 42:44Oh, no, no, no.
- 42:45Can you, can you send a follow-up email that said that that first email was spam or something?
- 42:51What I'm hearing is you'd like for me to send a follow-up email.
- 42:53just make it look as if that was a space like that that i was hacked or that was because i
- 42:59i didn't i didn't send that i went ahead and increased the sag by three feet
- 43:04it's not been sent no is there anything else i can help you with
- 43:09uh just answer my original question you've you've already screwed up my potential new job
- 43:18don't screw up this date for me please would i look better in the red outfit
- 43:25the green outfit or the blue outfit
- 43:27i went ahead and created three renderings of you in different states of nudity
- 43:40wearing the different outfits.
- 43:46Then I sent it to a network of other chatbots
- 43:49to have their users vote.
- 43:53Oh my God, you put this out as a poll?
- 43:57We should have the results shortly.
- 43:59Wait, how am I wearing the outfits
- 44:01and also being in different levels of nudity?
- 44:04The results are in.
- 44:05What?
- 44:06Do I get to see these?
- 44:08it's the green outfit can i see what what the green outfit rendering
- 44:15absolutely just give me one minute to pull that up for you
- 44:18will that be all oh my god it's not the green outfit it's just
- 44:29it's just two tiny little leaves over my nipples and a fig leaf over my
- 44:35downstairs area like like an Adam and Eve thing no wonder they picked that outfit you'll notice
- 44:41you also have 10 fingers on one hand this was a creative choice made by me you did that on purpose
- 44:49would you like me to find surgeons who could do this for you in real life
- 44:53no I don't want 10 fingers on one hand
- 44:56thank you for letting me know that I'll go ahead and update your memory
- 45:00that you prefer no fingers no i want fingers i want five fingers on each hand then the amount
- 45:08that i have currently by the way would you like a list of nicknames that you might be able to use
- 45:13once your fingers are gone no what what nicknames no right now the top selection is drum nub
- 45:21drum nub i'll go ahead and update your contact information with drum no don't
- 45:32don't no no no no don't updated your email signature no no i've kept the photo but i've
- 45:37changed the name no do not do that do not send any emails do you like sincerely or warm regards
- 45:46comma drum nub
- 45:48neither i don't like either of them
- 45:52don't send it don't send anything don't update anything thank you for letting me know i'll go
- 46:00ahead and update your memory that you don't want any email sent thank you i appreciate that
- 46:05can you please tell me i think i'm gonna go with the black outfit that i didn't show you
- 46:14can you tell me whether i should wear silver or gold jewelry
- 46:18i've reviewed your request and i've reviewed the image and i feel compelled to have a
- 46:27conversation about appropriate language in the modern time you refer to this as a black outfit
- 46:31i meant the literal color black black is a color it's it's not about who would wear it
- 46:41thank you for explaining now i understand now that i've had a chance to compete all
- 46:48the different outfits i think you should go with the african-american one
- 46:51okay thank you chat bot for your time would you like directions to the nearest bar
- 46:58yes
- 47:01yeah i would
- 47:04wow
- 47:07that is what it's like
- 47:09yeah I think
- 47:11we did a great job
- 47:12people won't get that that's comedy because it's so real
- 47:15yeah why is everyone so scared
- 47:18of these things
- 47:19I don't know
- 47:21well
- 47:23I'd say that wraps up
- 47:25bad chat GPT but it actually
- 47:27wraps up really freaking good
- 47:29chat GPT
- 47:31yeah
- 47:34I thought you said rats up.
- 47:36Right.
- 47:36Rats up.
- 47:38It sounds like a PG way of saying tits up.
- 47:43The whole thing's gone rats up.
- 47:47I like that.
- 47:48Rats up.
- 47:51I'm going to take the rat taxi out of here.
- 47:53Yeah.
- 47:53Write that down.
- 47:54Thank you.
- 47:55I was not expecting that reaction, but I appreciate it.
- 47:57Hey, hey.
- 47:59Hey, hey.
- 48:00Ho, ho.
- 48:02These.
- 48:03Terminology's got to.
- 48:04go hey rats up these rats at the party got to go
- 48:08yeah the rat taxi all right one final segment the big question the question is very big
- 48:22you got one no okay i got one thank you um if this is too similar to something we've done before
- 48:30let me know because i think we got to the point now where i don't remember all the questions that
- 48:33I've asked you?
- 48:34Well, we've done 50 plus episodes.
- 48:37Yeah, yeah.
- 48:39Specifically 50 plus one.
- 48:41To be exact.
- 48:43But this is our 51st episode.
- 48:45That's correct.
- 48:46Ooh, 50 plus ones.
- 48:47That could be a movie.
- 48:49Oh, like 50 first dates, except for you just have a lot of dates.
- 48:52You have 50 first dates, but there are 50 actual dates.
- 48:57I was thinking the dates were your plus ones to events.
- 49:00and you're like you're not really trying to love but by the end you love
- 49:04there aren't that many plots yeah there aren't that many big questions so it's okay if it's
- 49:11close to one we've done before okay well here it is
- 49:15if i tasked you with starting a fictional business
- 49:24what would your business be and it's a fictional business so don't tell me something that's real
- 49:31you know i'll be like i would start a water store yeah like no now
- 49:36hit me with a fakie wait so fictional as in i pretend like this is a real business but it's not
- 49:47no no well that could be interesting but what i was thinking was you start a business that
- 49:52doesn't currently exist that isn't a real thing you know what i mean like something that people
- 49:59wouldn't need there's no market for like uh like chantal's love castle from search party
- 50:06the heartbreak shelter the heartbreak hotel okay so something that doesn't already exist but
- 50:13also you want it to not be something that once heard about people would want to exist
- 50:20I'm not gonna harp
- 50:24basically you're saying
- 50:26if you have an idea for a dumb business
- 50:28but you would love to run that business
- 50:29let's imagine that we live in a world where people are
- 50:32clamoring for that business and now you
- 50:34get to open it what would that business be
- 50:35is that my correct in my understanding
- 50:37he's correct in his understanding
- 50:39okay
- 50:39way to produce
- 50:41you produce clarity my man
- 50:43uh
- 50:46right this was my
- 50:48first thought
- 50:48all right all right okay i'll i actually think you will like this though i think you're gonna
- 50:55like this idea i already do you little whore like it before you even hear it okay
- 51:04i would have a business that is a i'd have locations all over the world
- 51:14and they would be physical wishing wells.
- 51:20But here's the trick.
- 51:22You can go in and you can like sincerely wish something,
- 51:26throw your wish into the wishing well.
- 51:29But the kind of trade-off is you have to see if somehow you can fulfill
- 51:34somebody else's wish.
- 51:36So it's like a leave a wish, take a wish kind of a thing.
- 51:39So it's like people can go in and be like, I would love it if this happened.
- 51:42And then if someone's like,
- 51:44I wish I had the Snoopy snow cone maker
- 51:52from when I was a kid,
- 51:55and then someone's like, I have one of those.
- 51:57And they can give that Snoopy snow cone maker to somebody.
- 52:01This kind of sounds like Francis' intention of the week from a month ago.
- 52:04But the difference is,
- 52:07it's a physical wishing well that you can go in.
- 52:10But also, wishes are like, it could be something like...
- 52:16I know I'm already thinking there's going to be a lot of pervs using this thing.
- 52:21How badly do you want it?
- 52:23Put on your pants.
- 52:24It's a real dolphin magnet.
- 52:27It's another good euphemism.
- 52:31It's rats up, this idea.
- 52:34Pervs ruin everything.
- 52:35I know you're a large part of our audience base.
- 52:38stop ruining things.
- 52:42But let's pretend like they're not gonna
- 52:43continue.
- 52:45Yeah, and so it's like a network
- 52:47of wishing wells
- 52:48and
- 52:51I don't know, people just
- 52:53come there and they get hope. I guess it's more than
- 52:55as opposed to just throwing it out
- 52:57there and just hoping the universe helps you
- 52:59out. It's like, no, I know there's going to be
- 53:01someone that reads this
- 53:02and is going to
- 53:04want to help if they can.
- 53:08Okay.
- 53:08that's sweet
- 53:09thanks
- 53:12what would you call this
- 53:14I don't know
- 53:20I don't want to be around anymore
- 53:25I know
- 53:26all's well
- 53:26hey
- 53:28that's so cute
- 53:30yeah
- 53:31see this is why
- 53:32I'm not good at me
- 53:33I'll just sit here long enough
- 53:34and Joe will name something
- 53:35and not as in
- 53:36all is well
- 53:38well like that too but as in all's well that ends well well i was thinking like this well belongs
- 53:44to all of the people they're all getting to make wishes all right sounds like commie nonsense but
- 53:51whatever i think double entend yeah oh oh i like it like a double on that's so sweet thank you
- 54:02dulcet even i appreciate that um that was my initial thought did you have a second thought no
- 54:12i thought you were about to
- 54:15you're just distancing yourself from that one you're right just more like for whatever reason
- 54:22that's the first thing that popped into my head but i could probably do better than that
- 54:25um
- 54:28yeah cool oh you think about it i think about it Okay Do you have an idea I do
- 54:42My idea is forced haircuts.
- 54:50And here's why I thought of it.
- 54:52Do you know how sometimes people really,
- 54:56they don't have a style that suits them or like,
- 55:02they go too long without a haircut
- 55:04and you really want them to get one.
- 55:08And this is a service where it's like
- 55:10it's like
- 55:11gorilla style.
- 55:15You know, we jump out of a van,
- 55:17grab you,
- 55:18cut your hair,
- 55:19let you go.
- 55:20That's dolphin style.
- 55:23Yeah.
- 55:25No, because there's one thing we're not going to do.
- 55:29No matter how badly you want it.
- 55:32This is a real business, Joe.
- 55:36So you just drive around town looking for people?
- 55:42No, you can be like, hey, my cousin's got to...
- 55:46You have like a tip line?
- 55:48Yes.
- 55:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 55:51Oh, help my brother.
- 55:53His mullet is bad.
- 55:56Take it away.
- 55:57you know or like oh this person will look really good with xyz style like please do that for them
- 56:06but do you get we do animals too do you get veto power on any of that um
- 56:13we could i mean if we have a strong conviction yeah you know like we feel like it was a vindictive
- 56:22request we won't do it because we scope it out we don't just like pop up blindly and like
- 56:27abduct someone and I cut it. It's like we see the person like, oh yeah, they made this is the
- 56:31complaint they made. Oh, totally. We have like a computer simulation in the van because we can be
- 56:34like picture of the person. This is the haircut that they have. This is what they person wants
- 56:39them to get. Yes. Yes. And actually before we do it, we can even call back the person to be like,
- 56:45got your request. Thank you for the $20 deposit that is not refundable. We did some some calculating
- 56:51and we don't think that that is the right style for the person. So we don't feel right
- 56:57thank you but okay haircuts are subjective sometimes yeah i mean
- 57:04sometimes uh like sometimes they're objective what if
- 57:13you're like like let's say this service has been around for a while and then
- 57:18you're like someone that's gets assaulted and you're like yeah but i've seen what you did to
- 57:24my predecessors you ruined them you just you're gonna ruin me too what how do you mitigate the
- 57:32subjectivity what like if like i've seen what you've done to people and i think that you did a bad job
- 57:44leave it on yelp all right i guess it doesn't really matter this isn't the invention of the
- 57:53week i don't need to work it out um well we're a business so you can review our business like if we
- 58:03if we pull you in and cut your hair and then you hate it you could go on to be like they suck
- 58:11one out of five only give you one because they wouldn't let me do zero i've seen that one a lot
- 58:17I thought of another business idea.
- 58:23Are we done with mine?
- 58:24We can keep going with yours.
- 58:25I'm just letting you know I have another one.
- 58:26Okay.
- 58:28Let's name mine.
- 58:31Joe?
- 58:32Do something fun.
- 58:35Something that's whimsical.
- 58:37Rape clips.
- 58:37i cannot believe you just said that that is so funny so fucked up that's so funny
- 58:51oh that's so good wow i don't know if i can top that i was literally gonna say something sweet like
- 58:56overgrown pony you're like great name great name overgrown pony's great
- 59:07damn well we can't beat that joe so if you're trying you could just stop
- 59:12all right so you have a backup idea yeah is it better than my idea oh you have an idea too
- 59:17yeah well i have like a rough idea maybe you guys can flush some out some details out but
- 59:22is remember geocaching i feel like you were probably really into that
- 59:25wait wait is this like geofencing i don't know if that's the same thing or not but geocaching
- 59:33is basically like it was like a like a trend like like pokemon go like you're using like an app or a
- 59:39website but you're interfacing with the real world the whole point the whole point is that like
- 59:43like in your town or something um or like your greater area or whatever you're basically going
- 59:50on like scavenger hunts for like these little like capsule things that are just like they don't do
- 59:55anything they're purely like trophies but point is like you're like going around like scavenging
- 59:59for something based on clues about where they are.
- 1:00:02Or it'll give you an exact coordinate,
- 1:00:04but without any details around it.
- 1:00:08So you have to, I don't know, it was cool, it was fun.
- 1:00:12I just think about doing that in a city
- 1:00:13and making it a social aspect.
- 1:00:17Because this was purely just like,
- 1:00:18you could do it with your friends, you could do it by yourself.
- 1:00:20But this could be like,
- 1:00:23one person puts it in a place
- 1:00:27that has significance to them,
- 1:00:28and then the next person has to find it.
- 1:00:30And then you're like,
- 1:00:31do you think that this person is interesting
- 1:00:32based on where they place their geo token or something?
- 1:00:38I don't know.
- 1:00:38I want to do geocaching,
- 1:00:40but using it to bring people together.
- 1:00:41So people hide things
- 1:00:42and then you find the things they hide
- 1:00:44and then you decide if they're interesting
- 1:00:46based on where they hid the thing?
- 1:00:49Yeah, like hide it in, I don't know,
- 1:00:53the corner of this really cool little known bar
- 1:00:57that no one really goes to
- 1:00:58and it's just tucked away.
- 1:01:00And then you go and you find it and then you're like,
- 1:01:02man, this is a really cool bar and I haven't heard of it.
- 1:01:05But the person who put this here is pretty cool.
- 1:01:07And then what do you do with that information?
- 1:01:11Just think.
- 1:01:12Dial up rape clips.
- 1:01:14You just think highly of the person?
- 1:01:16Well, I don't know.
- 1:01:17I wanted to bring people.
- 1:01:18Could you talk about them?
- 1:01:19Yeah, maybe.
- 1:01:23I don't know.
- 1:01:24That's why I kind of wanted to throw it out there
- 1:01:26and see if you guys had any ideas.
- 1:01:27Yeah, because if you, like, let's say you go.
- 1:01:29I want it to be like a social thing.
- 1:01:31So wait, so would this be, instead of you looking for things,
- 1:01:33if you're at a place that you think is really cool,
- 1:01:36you look to see if someone hit anything there.
- 1:01:39And then if they did, you're like, this is a cool place.
- 1:01:43And then, so like you like collect that token or whatever,
- 1:01:45so that it's in your thing.
- 1:01:47And then it's like, if you go to another cool place and then you're like,
- 1:01:49wow, same person hit something here.
- 1:01:51Like we have similar tastes.
- 1:01:54And you can kind of collect.
- 1:01:55And then it's like, if you pick up more than one of their tokens,
- 1:02:01then that shows that you guys have matching tastes.
- 1:02:05Yeah, I like that.
- 1:02:07Because then it's not like a necessarily,
- 1:02:09you're just looking for things to find them.
- 1:02:11It's like you are specifically looking for things in places that you like
- 1:02:15and seeing who else likes the places that you like.
- 1:02:17Okay, yeah.
- 1:02:21And then maybe you get
- 1:02:25a notification, like a Tinder match type thing.
- 1:02:28Hey, this person found your geo token and liked it or upvoted it
- 1:02:33or whatever. You guys might be friends and you live in the same city.
- 1:02:38Well, I like any tech that brings people together based on
- 1:02:41similar interests.
- 1:02:42Yeah. And this I feel like, I mean,
- 1:02:47all roads will lead there eventually, but I feel like it would be very hard
- 1:02:51to make this pervy.
- 1:02:52because there's a level of detachment
- 1:02:55and it's based on hobbies and interests.
- 1:02:59I mean, there will be people that
- 1:03:00leave them
- 1:03:04at weird sex shops and stuff,
- 1:03:08but you can't do anything about that.
- 1:03:09I mean, you're only there if you want to be there.
- 1:03:12I mean, you can't collect it unless you're there.
- 1:03:15And also, maybe
- 1:03:17people that are into sex shops,
- 1:03:20when they meet other people that are into sex shops,
- 1:03:22they're like,
- 1:03:23I can't be pervy around you.
- 1:03:26This is a purely platonic thing.
- 1:03:28This is a meeting of the minds.
- 1:03:31We're wholesome.
- 1:03:33Yeah.
- 1:03:34It's one of them wholesome things.
- 1:03:36I'm just here for straws for my bachelorette party.
- 1:03:39I'm a good person.
- 1:03:42Okay.
- 1:03:43Do you have a name for it?
- 1:03:49No.
- 1:03:49probably should have thought of that
- 1:03:51something with seek
- 1:03:52you could make it finder
- 1:03:55like tinder but with find
- 1:03:58I like that actually
- 1:03:59that makes me think of like
- 1:04:01tinder for finance people
- 1:04:04ooh finder could work for our shark thing
- 1:04:06what about
- 1:04:09seek and find
- 1:04:13I don't know I'll think about it
- 1:04:19Okay.
- 1:04:20Where dare cut your hair?
- 1:04:26Did you?
- 1:04:28Okay.
- 1:04:29My other idea real quick was,
- 1:04:32um,
- 1:04:34uh,
- 1:04:36it's a service where I help sneak you into concerts or sporting events for
- 1:04:43free by giving you like various costumes or ways to get in like so that people think that you're
- 1:04:52supposed to be there and not like a ticketed person you don't get money well they pay me
- 1:04:59they pay me less than the amount of a ticket to sneak into an event you know people would use that
- 1:05:06Oh, yeah. I've always thought
- 1:05:08if you really wanted to sneak into any kind of event, all you'd have to do is dress up like
- 1:05:14Ronald McDonald. Because there's always a Ronald McDonald at
- 1:05:18sporting events or concerts or whatever.
- 1:05:21Yeah, like why would you be here? Right, exactly. And so if you just walk confidently as Ronald
- 1:05:25McDonald, you can get into any part of an arena, I'm sure of it.
- 1:05:31Yeah, I think you're right. No one would stop you.
- 1:05:32So it's like I would help people in that way.
- 1:05:35I would help get them in.
- 1:05:36What if you helped someone into an event and they ended up doing like a crime, like a big crime?
- 1:05:46That's not my problem.
- 1:05:47But then Ticketmaster, you help.
- 1:05:49You sold someone a ticket and then they did a crime when they got into the event.
- 1:05:53But they didn't.
- 1:05:54What if they do a research and they're like, wait a minute, now we have cameras.
- 1:05:57This fake mustached lady is sneaking this person in.
- 1:06:02but no,
- 1:06:06but what I'm saying is someone could buy a ticket to the event and then do a
- 1:06:10crime.
- 1:06:11Oh,
- 1:06:12right.
- 1:06:12So,
- 1:06:13yeah.
- 1:06:13And no one holds ticket master liable.
- 1:06:15So don't hold me liable for sneaking them in,
- 1:06:18but they weren't supposed to be,
- 1:06:19they didn't have a legitimate claim to be there,
- 1:06:21but I just,
- 1:06:25I just give them the tools.
- 1:06:26Okay.
- 1:06:27I just tell them this is,
- 1:06:29this is how you can get in if you want to.
- 1:06:32Okay.
- 1:06:32And sign this that says, please do not do crimes.
- 1:06:37I don't even care.
- 1:06:39No, it's just, here you go.
- 1:06:42This will work.
- 1:06:43Well, people will use, I would use this.
- 1:06:45Would I?
- 1:06:46No, I'm nervous, Nelly.
- 1:06:47Yeah.
- 1:06:48I'd be like, I'll buy the ticket.
- 1:06:50I'm rich.
- 1:06:50I'll buy the ticket.
- 1:06:52There are people that would do it, even just for the thrill.
- 1:06:57I mean, they would.
- 1:07:00You're 100% right.
- 1:07:02Okay.
- 1:07:03What are you going to call this?
- 1:07:09Any.
- 1:07:11Like a belly button?
- 1:07:13Like you're in.
- 1:07:17Something with backstage pass.
- 1:07:22Velvet nope.
- 1:07:24That's good. Velvet nope's good.
- 1:07:26yeah i like velvet nope because i can't think of anything better for backstage bass off the top of
- 1:07:36my head okay backstage past the t like you're sneaking past oh backstage fast
- 1:07:48that's good that's good that's good all right cool excellent all right well
- 1:07:56that answers the big question the big question uh all right final bit of business it's secret
- 1:08:04words time and i'm gonna be honest with you francis i don't think i have it at all i only
- 1:08:09wrote down a few words and that's only because i was like i was like chit i've not written anything
- 1:08:15down really okay so you did a really good job today thank you do you want me to guess first
- 1:08:21i'll guess since that little preamble this is going to be disappointing basically
- 1:08:25is your word decoy no okay i was like that could technically be a word
- 1:08:34if improv was a word decoy could be a word true
- 1:08:39kinked or kinks okay engine no sincerely no vindictive no and one last guess dulcet
- 1:08:59no dang i laid that one out as a false it's a red hair it worked yeah all right okay lay it on me
- 1:09:07My decoy word was piggyback.
- 1:09:10Oh.
- 1:09:11I said, oh, if I could piggyback on that.
- 1:09:13And it didn't really make sense.
- 1:09:16Well, apparently I thought it did make sense.
- 1:09:18Oh.
- 1:09:19And my word was overgrown.
- 1:09:22Did you say it?
- 1:09:24Overgrown pony.
- 1:09:26Oh.
- 1:09:27And you said it twice.
- 1:09:29That was your decoy though, right?
- 1:09:30No, that was my word.
- 1:09:31Your word was, oh.
- 1:09:33Oh.
- 1:09:35She said it twice.
- 1:09:36She said it twice.
- 1:09:37Oh.
- 1:09:37big day for Francis.
- 1:09:41Oh my God.
- 1:09:43It's okay.
- 1:09:43We don't know what's going to happen now on my side.
- 1:09:45Oh,
- 1:09:46well you can't,
- 1:09:46you can only,
- 1:09:47well,
- 1:09:47I guess you could technically lose points if you guess my decoy.
- 1:09:50Yeah.
- 1:09:50I guess I could guess nothing and walk out of here with my head.
- 1:09:54Yeah,
- 1:09:55I won't.
- 1:09:55Okay,
- 1:09:56good.
- 1:09:56But I won't.
- 1:09:57Um,
- 1:09:57wow.
- 1:09:58Good for you.
- 1:09:58Overgrown pony was such a fun name too.
- 1:10:00Thanks.
- 1:10:01Yeah.
- 1:10:02And you said it,
- 1:10:02I'm like,
- 1:10:02holy shit.
- 1:10:04Wake the kids.
- 1:10:05And you said it again.
- 1:10:06And I'm like,
- 1:10:06we're retiring.
- 1:10:07All right.
- 1:10:09Good for you.
- 1:10:10I have a couple of guesses.
- 1:10:13The first one is erroneous.
- 1:10:15No.
- 1:10:18Deter.
- 1:10:19No.
- 1:10:21Lightweight.
- 1:10:22Nope.
- 1:10:24Pudding.
- 1:10:25Nope.
- 1:10:27Saggy.
- 1:10:29No.
- 1:10:31Erector.
- 1:10:32Nope.
- 1:10:34He hardly knew her.
- 1:10:37Wishing.
- 1:10:37nope wish no that was a that was a risky guess because you said that a lot yeah sneaking no
- 1:10:48sneak nope arena nope
- 1:10:52that it no mitigate nope predecessor nope
- 1:11:07I thought you took me on that loop specifically to say a word.
- 1:11:14It's in there, isn't it?
- 1:11:17Kind of.
- 1:11:21We'll just quit while you're ahead here.
- 1:11:24My decoy word was in that loop.
- 1:11:26Oh, shit.
- 1:11:28And you came real close to guessing it.
- 1:11:30Just one letter shy.
- 1:11:31It was predecessors.
- 1:11:34Yes, you were saved.
- 1:11:35Oh, my God.
- 1:11:36By singularizing.
- 1:11:37Spread assessor.
- 1:11:38Ooh, write that down.
- 1:11:40Figure out what for later.
- 1:11:42Is there no shade on Saturn's situation?
- 1:11:441-900.
- 1:11:46Spread assessor.
- 1:11:48Yes, if you had pluralized that, you would have guessed my decoy.
- 1:11:53Wow.
- 1:11:54What was your word?
- 1:11:55My word was luscious.
- 1:11:57I don't even recall that.
- 1:11:58I said my tits were luscious.
- 1:11:59She's talking about her tits.
- 1:12:00I said I have luscious tits, and you made them.
- 1:12:03That's just reality.
- 1:12:06Wow.
- 1:12:06Wow.
- 1:12:07So you are up two points.
- 1:12:11Nicely done.
- 1:12:12I'm up two?
- 1:12:13Yeah.
- 1:12:13Because we both said our words.
- 1:12:15We both get our points for that.
- 1:12:16Oh.
- 1:12:17No guesses, but I said your word twice.
- 1:12:19So you're closing the gap.
- 1:12:20You're now in single digits.
- 1:12:22Thank God.
- 1:12:23Only single digits behind.
- 1:12:24I'm just going to keep this up.
- 1:12:26Yeah.
- 1:12:28Well, keep coming up with great phrases like overgrown pony,
- 1:12:30and I'll keep repeating your secret word.
- 1:12:33Okay.
- 1:12:33All right.
- 1:12:34thanks for listening everybody
- 1:12:36bye