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USE THESE HABITS To Get Out Of An UNMOTIVATED RUT Today · INSPIRE STORY

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Speaker 1: All we have right now is time and our attention,
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So where our attention goes needs to be really carefully
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thought out. Therefore, that's where self knowledge comes in. As
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my compatriot Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.
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So we need to examine our lives, examine our habits
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without judgments, and just begin with micro steps.
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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one
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health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every
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single one of you that come back every week to listen,
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learn and grow. Now today we have a really special
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and exciting guest, one of the few people that we've
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ever had on the podcast twice. It is none other
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than my dear friend, mentor and someone who I consistently
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tell you change my life, the one and only Ariana.
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Now I'm so thrilled because Arianna is the CEO and
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founder of Thrive Global. She's been named as the world's
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one hundred most influential people by Time magazine and has
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also been included on the Forbes Most Powerful Women's List.
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She's a mother, best selling author, businesswoman as well as
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a dear friend of mine, and today we'll also be
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talking about Thrive Global's latest book Your Time to Thrive.
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If you're someone right now who's been struggling working from home,
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remote work, trying to figure out how to manage the
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stress of everything we've experienced in the last twelve months,
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this is the book for you. This is the podcast
1:40
for you. If you're someone who's sitting there at home
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right now thinking, Jay, I just don't know how much
1:45
more I can deal with this. This is the conversation
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you want to be listening to. Arianna. Welcome to the podcast.
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Speaker 3: Jay, So great to be with you.
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Speaker 1: I love every day reading and watching you spread wisdom,
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making wisdom viral.
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Speaker 3: I love that well.
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Speaker 2: I'm so grateful to you, especially now as we were
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just talking about the wonderful Thrive original top. You're wearing onward,
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upward and inward. I love that as a motto. I
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think that's a brilliant mantra and motto.
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Speaker 1: It's very much what your work has been about, to
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remind us that when we go.
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Speaker 3: Inwards, our journey onward and upward is better in every
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possible way.
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Speaker 2: It's so true. It's so true. And one thing I
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love that we're having this conversation today, Ariana, is because
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you built Thrive Global and by the way, I just
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want to remind everyone. So my first day in New
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York City was Arianna Huffington's first day of starting up
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Thrive Global. Arianna, I don't know if you remember. We
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were at the final party, like a celebration party of
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you moving on from huff Post and starting Thrive Global,
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and you said in your speech, you said, whether you've
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been here since day one or whether you just joined yesterday,
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Like Jay Sheddy, I want you to know that you're
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all part of the family. And I remember just seeing
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you go off and start this new company, this new
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organization destined to help people's well being in their daily
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lives at work. You must be feeling like the purpose
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of the company is coming alive right now more than ever.
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Speaker 1: Actually, Jay, you're absolutely right, and you know anytime you
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leave something established and successful to start something new, there
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is a risk involved.
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Speaker 3: And I remember actually.
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Speaker 1: Argonizing over that decision and talking to Sheryl Sandberg and
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she said to me, stop thinking about it, just close
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your eyes and jump. And sometimes that's what life requires
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of us and the teams that we build Thrive around,
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you know, ending the stress and burnout epidemic, making well
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being an essential and central part of our lives have
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now become more.
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Speaker 3: Important than ever.
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Speaker 1: They've really gone mainstream because the pandemic has forced everyone,
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whether individuals or companies, to recognize, you know, how foundational
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a wellbeing is to everything. And finally, jay ending the
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delusion that in order to succeed you have to burn out,
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you have to power through exhaustion, we have to be
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always on, which is simply not supported by science or
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data or ancient wisdom.
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Speaker 2: Absolutely absolutely, and I think the level of burnout that
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we've seen in the last twelve months, and I would
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like to mention that whether that's companies that are growing
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or struggling, in the last twelve months, certain companies went
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through their biggest growth curve in the last twelve months
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and their employees have experienced burnout and then other people
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obviously were laid off. What are some of the trends
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that you've noticed over the last twelve months of how
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people are experiencing burnout and stress and pressure. What have
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you been seeing through the data through your company's work
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in what are the biggest challenges that people are having.
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Speaker 1: So what we're seeing is that all the challenges we
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were facing pre pandemic have been exacerbated, which is a
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bad thing but also a good thing. We can no
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longer avoid dealing with them. And the primary challenges that
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we're dealing with are, first of all, the mental health crisis,
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which existed before the pandemic, but now it's right in
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front of us. Who is the hundreds of millions of
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people around the world being affected with depression, anxiety, and
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also the sky rocketing increase of diseases, especially diabetes and
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heart disease, which also have become much worse because of
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the stress levels.
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Speaker 3: But also it's forced us to realize that.
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Speaker 1: We are never going to be able to deal with
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the mental health crisis or all these diseases if we
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don't go upstream and change our behaviors.
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Speaker 3: And that's why we' wrote.
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Speaker 1: This book to make it clear to people that changing
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behaviors through microsteps, you know, small daily, incremental steps, is
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very doable. To actually take lofty goals like I'm going
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to lose thirty pounds or give up sugar or workout
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every day and break them down into the smallest possible
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actionable step. Call our microsteps too small to fail. And
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then there are eight chapters that break down all the
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micro steps, and the first one, because Jay, I believe
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it is foundational to our well being is sleep.
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Speaker 3: And as you know, I'm.
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Speaker 1: An evangelist on sleep. We all sleep, and increasingly during
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the pandemic, we've all had a harder time sleeping or
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falling back asleep after we wake up. In fact, there
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is a term called corona somnia. But there are small
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daily steps we can take to improve our sleep and
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to reduce the stress which makes it easier to sleep.
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Speaker 2: I'm so glad that you brought up sleep and corona somnia,
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which I had not heard actually, but I know when
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I read your book Sleep Revolution, that really gave me
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the permission to feel like I needed quality sleep. It
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really did that when I read it, and you share
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the stories of so many of your friends CEOs of
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large companies all over the world who prioritize sleep. One
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of the things I find right now the reason why
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people are struggling at home to sleep, to practice what's
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a micro step they can take towards better sleep. And
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I love your idea of microsteps because I practice it
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in my own life, and your definition actually is the
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best definition I've ever heard of a microstep. Of too
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small to fail, because if you fail at a step,
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then it wasn't micro enough. And so that's a great,
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great definition. What's a great microstep we can all take
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towards getting better sleep during this time.
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Speaker 1: So Jay, actually, out of all the hundreds of microsteps
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in the book, my absolute favor, it is to peak
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a time at the end of the day that you
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declare the end of your workday, and to mark this
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end with a ritual, because you know, we are creatures
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of rituals and their ritually.
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Speaker 3: Turn off your phone and charge it outside your bedroom.
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Speaker 1: Now you may say to me, you know, Ariana, that's
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too big a micro step for me.
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Speaker 3: I say, not a problem, Jay.
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Speaker 1: Can you pick one day a week when you can
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do that, maybe Friday night or Saturday night.
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Speaker 3: Just start wherever you are.
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Speaker 1: If you say no, Riana, that's too biggest step for me,
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I say, okay, can you just put your phone on
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aeroplane mode? But instead of putting it on your nightstand,
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which seventy two percent of people do, put it somewhere
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further away. So if you wake up in the middle
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of the night and you can't timidiately go to sleep,
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most people, Jay go.
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Speaker 3: To their phone.
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Speaker 1: And that's like allowing your day life with all these
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challenges and the pro problems to invade your night life,
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which is the time to really deeply surrender to sleep
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and recharge.
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Speaker 3: So that's my favorite microstep.
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Speaker 2: That that's a brilliant microstep. And I love how compassionate
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and empathetic you are in simplifying it and making it
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easier every time. I love that micro step. I think
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it's absolutely brilliant, and I love I remember years ago
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you built those beautiful phone beds. Yeah, they're fantastic.
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Speaker 3: Pound bed is great.
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Speaker 1: If anybody listening has children and they're about to be
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given their first phone. We have this charging station that
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looks like a little phone bed. You can put the
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phones under the blanket, tack them in, and reconnect in
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the morning. So you teach your children like phone hygiene,
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which is the sleep your phone and you don't sleep together.
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Speaker 2: I think it's brilliant. I think it's such a it's
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such a cool idea, and you've made it. You've made
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it trendy again for people to know how to have
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these habits. And I think what I like about your
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approach Areana is that it's very real and even that
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it's almost comedic. It's funny, it's it's playful. It's not
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it's not like this harsh discipline. It's not military. There's
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this there's this love and joy behind it. I see
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on Instagram. You're always poisting joy triggers.
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Speaker 3: Your joy triggers.
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Speaker 2: You are my.
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Speaker 3: I love it, You're my go to place for joy triggers.
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Speaker 1: And we both that we both recognize the importance of joy.
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In fact, you know, for me, Jay, joy is a
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barometer of how I'm doing.
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Speaker 3: It's like, at some.
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Speaker 1: Point in my life, I knew I could be effective
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and productive, right, I didn't have to prove that to
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myself anymore. So my test now is am I bringing
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joy into my daily life. I'm not talking about all
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the time.
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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm.
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Speaker 1: Dealing with challenges, I'm dealing with problems. I'm working on
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my own reactivity. You know, I'm a work in progress.
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I'm on this journey. But if I can find joy
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in what I'm doing, it means that I need to
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course correct. It's almost like a sign for me to
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course correct. And that's like the key to all our
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micro steps, to recognize that.
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Speaker 3: We all have.
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Speaker 1: This place of wisdom piece strength in us. It's like
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our birthright right, and nobody lives there all the time,
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and the opportunity now is to be aware of when
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we are not there and how quickly can we course correct.
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It's almost like on course of course, on course of
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course and a judgment free zone.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, I feel like right now everyone's judging themselves
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to be the perfect person, the perfect partner, the perfect parent,
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and it's exhausting because we're all dealing with something that
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we've never experienced before. No one's ever been in this
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situation before in history, and and here we are. What
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are some of the ways we can become more loving
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to ourselves, more more empathetic to ourselves at these times because,
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like you said, you you're asking yourself, how can I
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bring joy into my life? I think a lot of
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people are asking themselves, well, maybe I'm not working hard
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enough with my kids, or maybe i'm you know, maybe
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I'm not working out enough, or maybe i've been how
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do we how do we train ourselves out of that,
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or how do we approach that and navigate that properly?
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Speaker 3: Well?
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Speaker 1: As you know, Jay, the first step is to accept
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where we are.
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Speaker 3: And not judge it and loving ourselves.
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Speaker 1: It's kind of a prerequisite for really truly loving others
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out of our overflow. And so for me, gratitude is
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the antidote to anxiety, to stress, to guild. So I
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practice what in the book we call habitstacking. So anytime
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I'm doing things that don't require my brain, like washing
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my hands, washing the dishes, washing my hair, I repeat
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to myself things I'm grateful for, Like right now I'm
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having my bulletproof coffee.
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Speaker 3: I don't know if you like bulletproof coffee, but I
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love it, and I'm grateful for this.
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Speaker 1: Every morning, I'm grateful that I'm here with you and
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this is it feels my heart. And I'm really very
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grateful every day that I do work that is meaningful,
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going back to on pose and has an impact on
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people's lives. I feel extremely grateful for that. So remembering
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all these things constantly, literally, Jay, as you know, moves
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us from the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or light
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nervous system, to the parasympathetic nervous system. Gratitude and anxiety
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cannot coexist. What I love about this moment we are
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in is that modern science is validating so much of
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ancient wisdom.
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Speaker 3: If you take.
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Speaker 1: What I've considered the hero of feature in our rab
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and in the Microsteps book is the sixty second reset.
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And I love the fact that if you tell people
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you know, can you take twenty minutes to meditate, they
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may throw their arms in the asia And I don't
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have the time to take twenty mention to meditate. Can
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you take five minutes to Meditay? Oh, that's really hard.
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Speaker 3: Do you have sixty seconds?
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Speaker 1: We break it down to sixty seconds and sixty seconds.
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Another favorite microstep in the morning before you go to
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your phone, sixty seconds to set your intention for the day,
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to take deep conscious breaths, to remember what you're grateful
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for anything, kind of almost like reconnect with yourself before
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the world comes at you. And so that is at
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the heart of every religion. If you look at Islam,
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let's take Islam. I mean, the call to prayer is
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kind of unbelievable. It's like these tiny interventions during the
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day when you have to get up from what you're doing, stretch,
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which is great, and reconnect with something larger than yourself.
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And every religion you know, Juda is Christianity, Buddhism have
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like these short moments, you know that having been a monk,
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that bring us back to center. So we've integrated that
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in our rapp and in the micro steps. For anybody
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who feels overwhelmed with their to do list, are there
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zoom fatigue or whatever they're dealing with.
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Speaker 2: That's such a brilliant piece of advice. And I love
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how again, no one can say they don't have sixty seconds.
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And it's amazing that you spoke about Islam there for
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a moment too, because I was recently in Dubai where
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the call to prayer is happening in the morning and
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throughout the day, the five times a day, and I
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went skydiving for the first time in my life. And
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the free fall is exactly sixty seconds. And so for
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anyone who doesn't say that sixty seconds is a long time,
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it's enough time to get your intention right in the morning,
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it's a brilliant amount. So the skydive was sixty minutes, sorry,
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sixty seconds of free falling and then sixty seven minutes
18:19
of parachute falling once the parachute is released. And now
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that you're saying that, when I was in that sixty
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seconds of free fall. I was trying to meditate and
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pray and experience, and you can achieve a lot in
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sixty seconds. And so I think that that is such
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a for anyone who's there going, well, you know, sixty seconds,
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what am I going to do in the morning. We
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don't realize we pick up this within three seconds or
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one and a half seconds, and so sixty seconds in
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the morning, that is such a brilliant invention because just
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being present with yourself and letting your heart rate naturally
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get up, letting your brain actually waked, letting your mind
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wake up, that's such a great microsteft.
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Speaker 1: And now we've brought it into our team meetings that thrive.
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So we start our team meetings with the sixty seconds
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and we have everybody can create their own reset, like
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you could create their reset with pictures that you.
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Speaker 3: Love of your wife, your.
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Speaker 1: Loved ones, quotes, music, everything, and in sixty seconds you
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are reminded of what you love about your life. So
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we play this, somebody from the team plays their re set,
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which also connects us to each other. So there's so
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much we can do that connects us with ourselves, connects
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us with others, and doesn't take a lot of time.
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Speaker 2: Wow, So every meeting starts with someone sharing their sixty seconds.
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Speaker 3: Very set. I'll send you mind just to see you know.
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Speaker 1: Yes, because of my daughters, my IT quotes like groomy,
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live life as everything is rigged in your favor, landscapes
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of Greece, music and a breathing pacer sixty seconds.
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Speaker 2: I love that. I mean, every company should be doing this.
20:13
This is brilliant. I love this advice, and I hope
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everyone who's listening and watching, I hope you're thinking about
20:19
your zoom calls and how you can start your next
20:22
zoom call with your company set differently. I hope that
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you can recommend this to people within the company. Ariana
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tell us a bit about that. Let's say some of
20:30
our listeners are inside an organization, but they're not necessarily
20:35
a leader or a senior manager. How do they affect change?
20:39
You've you've worked at the beginning of a company, You've
20:43
owned companies, you've sold companies, you now have a new company.
20:46
You have employees at all different levels. How does someone
20:50
more junior in an organization create change when it comes
20:54
to health and wellness.
20:56
Speaker 1: So one of the great things about this time Jay
20:59
is that these questions of wellbeing and transformation I change
21:04
within companies is no longer just the province of HR.
21:09
Everybody is talking about it from the c suite to
21:13
every intern, so anybody can raise their hands. There is
21:18
such a greater opening to people expressing how they are feeling,
21:23
if they need help, come up with ideas to suggest,
21:29
and anybody who wants more ideas please reach out to
21:35
me on Instagram, LinkedIn any medium of communication, and that
21:42
we are happy to send you a lot of ideas.
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Speaker 3: In fact, we've partnered with Zoom and Zoom is.
21:48
Speaker 1: Bringing Thrive Reset as a downloadable up so that anybody
21:53
can actually download it and be able to create their
21:56
own reset. But even without that, anybody can have these
22:01
sixty second protocols. For anybody who is maybe thinking, oh,
22:06
this sounds like warm and fuzzy, you know, for a
22:09
high growth company, let me just tell you. I was
22:16
interviewing Mark Benniff yesterday on my podcast. He's an investor
22:20
in Thrife, and we were talking about how he starts
22:25
meetings with closing his eyes for a minute, and everybody
22:33
around him knows that he's not zoning out, He's not
22:37
going to sleep. He's just coming fully present to tap
22:42
into what is best in him, his creativity, his empathy,
22:46
his best ideas. So I always like to make it
22:50
clear that a lot of hyper successful people use these
22:55
small microsteps to make them even more effective, and that
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these things are not like for people who just want
23:04
to chain under a mango tree.
23:07
Speaker 2: Absolutely no, I think these I love that you've built
23:10
an app into Zoom that's a thrive reset. I think
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that's fantastic. I think that we live at a time
23:17
where we need these digital tools to remind us of
23:21
being more present with our physical, mental, and emotional and spiritualselves.
23:26
Because we've become so wired to our devices, we need
23:30
our devices to help us in that process. How have
23:33
you found, though, Ariana, that a lot of people just
23:35
feel this addiction to scrolling And you've worked with Tristan,
23:39
who is obviously the Social Dilemma. I remember when you
23:42
introduced me to Tristan's work years ago, before The Social
23:46
Dilemma even came out. Tell us a bit about that
23:50
approach that you've seen through your microsteps with people's addiction
23:54
to scrolling endlessly like me, and you look for joy triggers,
23:58
But what if people just scroll on Instagram and TikTok
24:01
and losing themselves in that. How have you found to
24:04
help people remove that addiction from their lives.
24:07
Speaker 1: Well, first of all, it is a real addiction, and
24:10
that's why our second chapter in the book is called
24:14
Unplugging and Recharging. You know, how can we unplug from
24:19
what has become so dominant in our culture? Basically everybody
24:25
in our lives is competing with our phone, your wife,
24:31
your children, your friends. You know, it's as though this
24:35
thing is the most interesting thing in our lives and
24:37
we can't separate ourselves from it.
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Speaker 3: So as tick not handset.
24:43
Speaker 1: You know, it has never been easier to run away
24:46
from ourselves. Yet at the same time, we can use
24:52
paradoxically digital tools to help us disconnect from technology. It
25:01
is a paradox, but truth is often paradoxica. So you know,
25:06
there is a example is one of them. But the
25:10
fundamental problem of our addiction, because it is real, requires
25:15
us to take steps. For example, if you are particularly
25:19
addicted to Instagram, take it off your front page so
25:27
that you have to download it. You have to be
25:29
intentional to go there. I mean, there are great stuff,
25:32
there's great stuff on Instagram. Really, I mean I love
25:37
following you, and I get joy from the quotes and
25:41
from everything you have, But there is so much that
25:45
leads to comparisons that makes people feel less than.
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Speaker 2: That.
25:53
Speaker 1: It's just something we need to honor and love ourselves
25:57
enough not to expose ourselves to all that, because all
26:01
we have right now is time and our attention. So
26:05
where our attention goes needs to be really carefully thought out,
26:12
and therefore that's where self knowledge comes in. As my
26:19
compatriot Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.
26:24
So we need to examine our lives, examine our habits
26:27
without judgments, and just begin with micro steps. You know,
26:34
if you.
26:35
Speaker 3: Count take.
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Speaker 1: A social media account you are particularly addicted to off
26:42
your phone?
26:43
Speaker 3: Can you move it to gray?
26:46
Speaker 2: Can you?
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Speaker 1: And all notifications that are not personal? I have no
26:52
notifications on my phone. I don't get breaking news because
26:56
first of all, ninety nine percent of the time it's
26:58
not breaking. And second, every time, I don't want to
27:03
be constantly interrupted.
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Speaker 3: That's how we need to say that.
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Speaker 1: Anytime I want to get the news, I go to
27:10
get the news, but it's on my time.
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Speaker 2: Yes, I love what you said. There of setting the
27:17
time of when do we want a piece of information,
27:21
When do we want to reach out to this person,
27:23
when do we want to connect with this idea? I
27:26
think that that what you just said is intentional curated living,
27:32
and unfortunately our world has made us unintentional livers. We
27:37
live unintentionally and unconsciously where we're just exposed to whatever
27:42
anyone feels like exposing us to. And then you know,
27:45
you may not be in the right mindset to take
27:48
on some breaking news. And I loved what you said.
27:50
Half the time, breaking news is not even breaking news,
27:53
it's it's it's just trying to get our attention. Tell
27:56
me about Ariana, what do you think has been your
28:00
biggest challenge in the last twelve months personally? And also
28:04
what has been your biggest opportunity that you've seized and
28:08
that you've gained and grown within the last twelve months.
28:11
Speaker 1: So the biggest challenge has been that Thrive has been
28:16
growing very fast.
28:17
Speaker 3: So I had to hire a lot of people that
28:20
I have never met.
28:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it.
28:25
Speaker 3: It's crazy? You know, I'm Greek.
28:28
Speaker 1: I want to break bread and look you in the eye.
28:32
And I had to hire a COO and head of
28:36
business development and ahead of say it, I mean you're
28:39
very senior positions.
28:42
Speaker 3: That I have never met. And that took.
28:48
Speaker 1: Took some kind of developing some new intuitive abilities and
28:55
being able to look you in the eye through zoom
28:58
and and like trust these feelings that you want to
29:06
trust when you are hiring somebody that goes beyond the
29:09
resume and the references.
29:13
Speaker 3: The best thing has been that.
29:18
Speaker 1: In this year of incredible pain and grief, we can
29:22
never underestimate that you know, it's it's It's been a
29:25
year of unbelievable losses, losses of life, financial losses. We
29:32
also have a catalyst for transformational change. And as you know, Jaye,
29:38
transformational change is hard. Like we have known for a
29:43
while that we had to change the way we work
29:45
and live, that the breathless, frenetic way we're living is
29:48
not sustainable. Who have known for a while that the
29:53
growing inequalities in our country are unsustainable and unjust racial inequity.
30:01
We've known for a while about the existence of these problems.
30:05
I've been to so many conferences about inclusive capitalists, etc.
30:10
Speaker 3: Etc.
30:11
Speaker 1: Planet there is sustainability, but so little has been done
30:16
and now, as somebody said at crisis is a terrible
30:20
thing to waste. So we have an opportunity to use
30:24
this crisis as a catalyst of fundamental change.
30:28
Speaker 2: I agree. What really resonated with me with what you
30:32
were saying is this challenge of having to create human
30:38
connection through digital media where we've never met someone. I
30:42
think that is a really it's truly. I've also made
30:46
mistakes in that department in the last twelve months because
30:49
in the same way, my work was growing and I've
30:51
had to think about hiring and recruiting through digital and
30:55
I haven't got it right many times. Because, Yeah, your
30:58
intuitive capability is through a screen. I mean, we know
31:00
each other, We've spent time together, and so this is
31:03
very comfortable. Yeah, What are some of the questions that
31:08
you've asked people that you think were really powerful that
31:12
people here today, if they're listening or watching, could use
31:16
in their digital meetings with people to help understand people better.
31:20
What are some of your favorite questions and interviews or
31:23
questions in conversations that you feel have helped your intuitive abilities.
31:27
Speaker 1: So if you are going to work with somebody, for me,
31:33
the most important thing is what is our number one
31:37
cultural value at Thrive and this is compassionate directness. This
31:43
is my number one cultural question because in any relationship,
31:50
whether personal or professional, things come up that you are
31:54
not happy with and you know that frustrates you. I
31:59
mean you've talked about it, even with your beloved wife.
32:03
You may have valuments, disagreements. You need to have a
32:06
way to express them. Otherwise they're faster and they become toxic.
32:12
The same applies to professional relationships. And if you're not
32:17
able to surface discontents, frustrations, disappointments and express them, you
32:24
can't deal with them. And Jay, it's much harder for
32:29
people to do that than it sounds, so I try
32:35
to dig deep. I asked for examples where they they
32:41
were able to be direct with the manager, with anybody.
32:45
Speaker 3: It's not just with them.
32:48
Speaker 1: Peers to express to disagree, and I feel cultures that
32:57
have achieved that are healthy, thriving cultures and otherwise.
33:06
Speaker 3: A lot faster.
33:07
Speaker 1: If you come to me, if you are a Thrive
33:11
and you come to me and complain about someone in
33:14
the company, everybody knows and say, okay, let me just
33:19
bring them in, or let let us just all get
33:22
together on a zoom and talk about it. I don't
33:24
want to hear about it without the other person being present.
33:29
I don't accept anybody coming to me to complain without
33:33
that other person being there so that everything can be
33:36
heir together.
33:36
Speaker 3: That for me is number one.
33:39
Speaker 1: Unless you know, somebody comes and complains about something illegal
33:44
or egregious, or sexual harassment or something. I'm talking about
33:48
the everyday complaints of people who work together.
33:53
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, absolutely absolutely. I I it's so when you
33:59
talk about you value so strongly, and I love that
34:02
compassionate directness. Again, it's a paradox.
34:05
Speaker 1: Yes, you want to be you don't want to be
34:07
advers area, but you want.
34:09
Speaker 3: To be that.
34:10
Speaker 2: Yes, how do you find that?
34:12
Speaker 3: Are you? Are you good at that?
34:17
Speaker 2: You know what, Arianna, I've realized that recruitment is a
34:19
completely different skill to the attracting of energy in your life.
34:25
So I feel like me and my wife have very
34:29
similar values and we've found that thankfully, and I have
34:32
really good friends and I have really good relationships. But
34:35
I find that recruitment is a real challenge. It's it's
34:39
difficult to truly understand if you can be of service
34:44
to that person and if that person is also going
34:46
to serve with the same values, and I think I'm learning.
34:49
I think I'm genuinely speaking, I'm learning, I'm reading a
34:51
lot about it. That's why I'm asking you about it.
34:53
Is very useful, and I like how value centered your
34:57
approach is because I think today all So what's really
35:00
interesting is I was hosting a panel for LinkedIn the
35:04
other day, or multiple panels, and one of the biggest
35:07
talking points was around the difference in wellbeing needs of
35:13
a diverse organization. So realizing that people from different demographics,
35:18
different genders, different backgrounds, different walks of life need different
35:22
support in well being. What are you seeing in how
35:25
wellbeing and diversity affect each other in the programs that
35:28
you're implementing, especially when it comes to unconscious bias. It
35:33
also comes to a lack of sensitivity to understanding someone's background.
35:38
Speaker 3: Well.
35:38
Speaker 1: We actually have a whole training around the connection between
35:43
well being and diversity because what we have found scientifically
35:48
is that when you are exhausted and running on empty,
35:53
you are less empathetic. You are the worst version of yourself,
35:58
so you are less likely to be open to people
36:01
who are different from you and to create a culture
36:04
of belonging. Because diversity is not just a question of numbers.
36:10
It's creating a culture of true belonging where everybody feels
36:14
at home. It's not just to have so many African
36:16
Americans in so many Asians, because what's the culture.
36:19
Speaker 3: Like, how they how do they connect with everyone? So
36:25
that again microsteps.
36:29
Speaker 1: Going back to the recruiting conversation, and that applies to
36:33
people applying for jobs as much as to people hiring.
36:40
Never never enter that conversation if you are tired. No,
36:45
it sounds very simple, but anytime I've interviewed and I'm
36:49
tired and miss.
36:50
Speaker 3: All the subtle things, yes.
36:53
Speaker 1: And also psychologically, you just want to cross one more
36:57
thing of your to do list, so you are more
37:03
likely to just say okay, good, that sounds good enough,
37:06
Especially in times like we're living through now, when we
37:09
can't just do maintenance Like these times are challenging, we
37:15
need to be able to access our creativity and our
37:19
empathy and the best in us. And that's why it's
37:25
more important than ever to prioritize our well being.
37:28
Speaker 2: How do you know, as someone who's been so successful,
37:33
how have you known when to push and when to
37:37
press pause? Because I feel that as you're on a
37:41
journey of acceleration and growth and momentum, even when you're
37:47
doing what you find purposeful. Like I love what I do,
37:50
but I work really hard at it, and I've over time,
37:54
I've had to understand this balance between pushing and pressing pores.
37:59
How have you that?
38:00
Speaker 3: Like?
38:00
Speaker 2: How does someone know when to push forward, when to
38:04
work a bit harder, when to stay up at night,
38:06
versus when to start pulling back? How do you find
38:09
that balance?
38:11
Speaker 1: Well, first of all, Jay, I've done it wrong so
38:15
many times, including, as you know, finally collapsing from doing
38:22
it wrong and hitting my head on my desk.
38:24
Speaker 3: And breaking my cheek bones.
38:25
Speaker 1: So I learned the hard way and through a painful
38:29
wake up corn. And what I'm clear about now is,
38:33
first of all, there is no such thing as balance.
38:38
Speaker 3: It's not like you can.
38:40
Speaker 1: Balance you know, your work, your life is the same
38:43
every day.
38:44
Speaker 3: That doesn't exist.
38:46
Speaker 2: Agreed that he is.
38:50
Speaker 1: What are the baseline things you need to do to
38:54
show up your best?
38:56
Speaker 3: For me? My baseline is sleep.
39:01
Speaker 1: And the science on sleep is categorical, like, unless you
39:06
have a genetic mutation, I don't know if you do.
39:09
People with a genetic mutation only need four hours of sleep,
39:13
and that's one two hundred a half percent of the population.
39:16
The rest of us needs somewhere between seven and nine.
39:20
Speaker 3: You know.
39:21
Speaker 1: Tom Brady famously says that he gets nine hours of
39:24
sleep a night, and he considers it absolutely instrumental to
39:29
being able to win a super Bowl.
39:30
Speaker 3: At forty three.
39:32
Speaker 1: So if he had said, oh, you know, I really
39:34
want to win the Super Bowl, I'm just going to
39:36
power through exhaustion and.
39:40
Speaker 3: Work out and train more, he would not win.
39:43
Speaker 1: You know, that's really what is amazing that our culture
39:49
for centuries has believed something false. Yeah, you know, I'll
39:54
sleep when I'm dead.
39:55
Speaker 3: You snooze, you lose. And I went back.
39:59
Speaker 1: Because I'm of the nerd to try and understand how
40:02
come an entil culture has believed something false? And it
40:05
goes back to the first Industrial Revolution when we started
40:09
revering machines. And what's the goal with machines?
40:13
Speaker 3: The goal with machine is to minimize downtime. And what's
40:18
the goal with software?
40:20
Speaker 1: We brag, you know, this piece of software has ninety
40:23
nine point nine nine nine percent up time, But the
40:26
human operating system is different. Downtime is a feature, not
40:31
a bug.
40:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, And now we need.
40:35
Speaker 1: To have this mindset shift that acknowledges that we are
40:44
swimming in a culture that's driven by principles that are
40:50
not science or data based.
40:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad that you are such an evangelist
40:56
for this movement, because you know, I came to a
41:00
point in my life where I realized either I had
41:04
two choices. I either slowed down or I invested more
41:09
in my health. And what I've realized was that the
41:12
more I invested in my health and the more priority
41:16
my sleep was, my exercise was, my diet was, the
41:20
more I was actually able to extend myself. So a
41:23
lot of the time when people told me that they
41:26
just had too much on, my first question would be
41:28
do you exercise and they would say no, I haven't
41:31
exercised for years, And I'd be like okay. And then
41:33
I'd say, well, do you sleep seven to nine hours?
41:35
And they were like, no, I sleep like six, and
41:37
I was like, oh, okay. So you start to realize
41:40
that a lot of our experience of low productivity or
41:44
effectiveness or burnout is because we're not actually investing in
41:48
our health. So I know that when I've exercised and
41:51
when I've slept well, I can actually do more in
41:54
less time. And as you said, you don't want to
41:57
do an interview when you're tired because you make mistakes.
42:01
You feel like you're actually making better decisions. This morning,
42:03
I played an hour of tennis and I meditated for
42:06
two hours before that. So now when you're getting me,
42:09
you're getting like the best version of me. I also slept.
42:12
I'm trying to think how many hours did I sleep
42:14
last night? Yeah, I slept eight and a half, which
42:16
is my sweet spot. I like eight and a half hours,
42:18
So slept eight and a half hours last night. So
42:21
I'm able to give you my best energy. And You're
42:24
so right that if I'd missed tennis today, if I
42:26
didn't meditate, if I'd slept badly, I would feel like
42:30
this was a lot harder, right, even though it's the
42:33
same thing.
42:34
Speaker 1: And I say, it would feel just like another chore,
42:38
like you know, my, oh, another thing I have to do.
42:42
Speaker 3: And yeah, this is not a dress rehearsal.
42:44
Speaker 1: You know, even if you believe in incarnation, you know it's.
42:48
Speaker 3: This is it?
42:48
Speaker 1: So to find the joy in what we're doing, we
42:52
need to come from that place of fullness. And I'm
42:58
so happy you were saying that we need to shout
43:01
it from the rooftops to help people eliminate their fear
43:06
that if they invest in their health, they are not
43:11
going to achieve all that they want to.
43:13
Speaker 3: Achieve, because it is a fear and.
43:18
Speaker 1: A lot of people have achieved a lot through powering
43:22
through so you can have a lot of examples of that.
43:25
But you can achieve more if you invest in your health.
43:31
And also you can live a life which has more
43:37
meaning and purpose because in the end, the definition of
43:42
a good life is not just a successful life in
43:45
terms of money and started. It's also a life of
43:50
well being, tamping into our wisdom, giving wonder and if
43:56
we miss out on all these things, we have a
44:00
very shrunken view of existence.
44:03
Speaker 2: Absolutely, tell us Arianna, I've got a few more questions
44:07
for you before I let you go, But tell our
44:10
audience how they can recognize if they're experiencing burnout, because
44:17
I feel that today we don't even know when we're
44:20
experiencing burnout because we don't have that time to sit
44:23
with ourselves and we're not aware. What are the signs
44:27
of burnout that someone can be aware of so that
44:29
they can say, you know what I need to start
44:32
doing what Arian is saying. I need to do that
44:33
sixty second check in. I need to put my phone
44:36
away in the evening. I need to sleep for seventy
44:40
nine hours. What are the signs of burnout that we
44:43
miss because we're so busy that we don't even realize
44:46
what we're going through.
44:48
Speaker 1: First of all, that's such a good question, because we
44:51
do miss the signs and we need to kind of
44:55
fine tune our antennae. And I would say there are
45:02
three signs that are predominant, and the first is actually
45:07
when we begin to be very negative and cynical about
45:11
our work, our lives. That's a sign that we are
45:15
not connected to our center and our essence. The other
45:22
is when we really wake up in the morning and
45:25
everything feels like drudgery, like we can still do things.
45:31
We can be transactional and get through a busy schedule,
45:35
but we have to be pushing ourselves. And often we
45:39
find ourselves going to cards or sweets to give ourselves energy.
45:44
And I love my coffee, nothing wrong with coffee, but
45:46
I stop having caffeine at two o'clock so that doesn't
45:50
affect my sleep and noticing in all these ways that
45:57
we try to fuel ourselves because you don't really have
46:01
any natural healthy fuel in us. And the other is
46:05
very simply our productivity. I mean you can see it
46:10
in any area of your life when you are when
46:14
you're running on all cylinders, you know, things can be
46:17
done so much faster, you are clearer, and when you're exhausted,
46:22
it's like I mean, for me, like trying to write
46:26
an article when I'm exhausted seems like overwhelming.
46:30
Speaker 3: So there are so many little.
46:32
Speaker 1: Signs that we can begin to notice. And the other
46:36
thing I'm a big believer in and we practice a
46:39
thrive is having an accountability body. You probably do that
46:45
with your wife, but having somebody who can say to you,
46:49
you know, hey, Jay, you seem off today or you
46:53
haven't done this, and not in a critical way, but
46:57
you know you can you stop for sixty seconds?
47:02
Speaker 3: Can you?
47:03
Speaker 1: Is there something this afternoon that we can reschedule? You know,
47:08
kind of see your see your schedule also as something
47:12
that is fangible if you're if you're not feeling fully yourself,
47:17
is there some there are some things that can't be rescheduled, Yeah,
47:22
really on your deathbed and other things that you can reschedule.
47:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. And the accountability thing for me
47:31
is huge. I know that I'm I need someone to
47:35
keep me accountable in different areas in my life, whether
47:37
it's exercise, whether it's diet, and having that commitment. And
47:42
what I find is the most important thing about accountability
47:46
is being ready to receive feedback. Because you can find
47:49
an accountability partner and you can find an accountability buddy.
47:52
But if you don't want to be told that you're
47:54
wrong or that you could improve something, it all goes wrong.
47:57
And I find that with my wife, she's so good.
47:59
But if I have my big ego on that day,
48:03
you know, you don't allow yourself to receive it because
48:07
you just want to defend yourself. No, no, no, I
48:09
am getting it right. But I've found that in my
48:12
own practice, being able to be humble enough to actually
48:15
hear someone out and realize they're telling you for your
48:17
own good. Like my wife will always say to me,
48:19
eat slower, Eat slower. She'd always said to me, you're
48:22
eating too fast, and I'll be like, yeah, but I've
48:24
got so much to do. I'm so busy. I've got
48:26
I've got to go to this place and she's just
48:28
saying it for my own good. She's just you know,
48:30
she's not saying it for her body. She's saying it
48:32
for my digestion and my body. And I think being
48:36
able to receive humbly is a really you know, I
48:40
definitely it's something I think that we all struggle with
48:43
and can work on more. But Ariana, you've been amazing.
48:47
I want to ask you what we always do, which
48:50
is our final five You were amazing last time. This
48:53
is our last five questions, which you answer in one
48:56
word or one sentence maximum. That's it. So these are
49:01
your final five questions. So the first question, arian are
49:06
you ready? Yes, okay, great? The first question is what's
49:10
the first thing you do in the morning.
49:12
Speaker 1: The first thing I do in the morning is the
49:15
sixty seconds to set my intention.
49:17
Speaker 3: For the day.
49:18
Speaker 2: Amazing. I love that. What's the last thing you do
49:21
at night?
49:22
Speaker 1: The last thing is to write down three things I
49:27
was grateful for for the day from the day beautiful.
49:31
Speaker 2: Question number three a habit you wish you started.
49:34
Speaker 1: Earlier, recognizing that life is shaped from the inside out
49:40
and that changes all the habits.
49:42
Speaker 2: I love it. Question number four, a habit you're trying
49:45
to develop right now, or something you're trying to work
49:47
on right now.
49:49
Speaker 1: I'm working on reactivity, so being less reactive.
49:56
Speaker 3: Taking deep breaths and then acting or saying something nice.
50:04
Speaker 2: I like that. Okay. And fifth and final question, your
50:07
favorite microstep from the book Your Time to Thrive.
50:11
Speaker 1: So my favorite microstep beyond everything we discuss ye recognition
50:20
of the superpower of our breath and specifically practicing what
50:27
Navy seales practice box breathing. I know that's more than
50:31
a sentence, but inhale to the counterf pause to the
50:35
counter for exhale to the.
50:37
Speaker 2: Counterfl Absolutely great advice, great insights everyone, Please, please please,
50:43
if you're listening to this right now, Your Time to
50:45
Thrive will be available everywhere books are sold. Make sure
50:49
you go and grab a copy. I really believe that
50:52
right now is the time to build these micro steps.
50:55
When we're in this stress, in this pressure, in this
50:58
challenging situation, there's no better time. Don't wait for the
51:01
right time or a good time or a better time
51:04
to build these micro steps. If you build them right now,
51:07
you're going to feel so strong, so confident, and so
51:10
powerful when we move out of this space slowly into
51:14
the future, Ariana. I thank you for your amazing insights.
51:17
I loved everything you shared today and they're so practical
51:21
yet so philosophical, and I miss you. I just want
51:24
to hang out with you again and see you.
51:27
Speaker 1: Bread together and let me know what color you want.
51:32
Speaker 3: Then I'll send you on ward upwards in work. Word's
51:37
to leave you with.
51:40
Speaker 4: If you want even more videos just like this one,
51:43
make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
51:46
I'm also excited to let you know that you can
51:48
now get my book, Think Like a Monk from Thinklike
51:52
a monkbook dot Com.
51:54
Speaker 2: Check below in the description to make sure you order today.