Latest / Chuck Douglas / Bathroom stall etiquette

Transcript

Bathroom stall etiquette · Chuck Douglas

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Plenty of big news, plenty of scary news, interesting news,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: all kinds of news. But before I even think about news,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I've got I've got Zach. Get your headphones on because
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you all this. I've got a potty protocol.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I've got a potty because this is happening way too often.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Let's say people listen closely now, because I'm setting up
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: the scene for you. Let's say you go in to
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: a public facility or at work or whatever, and you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: go in and there are three we'll call them conference rooms,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: and you you need the conference so you got one, two, three,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Let's for the sake of this discussion, they're all identical
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: conference rooms. Which conference room do you pick? There's nobody
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: else in there, you just walked in. The place is empty.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Which conference room do you pick, Zach, which one?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Now they're all next to each other.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just in a line, on the typical.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: Line by the door, just so I'm not in the middle,
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: so two people can't set on either side of me.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for having some sense.
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: That I if you go in there and there's no
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: one in there and you pick conference room number two,
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: something is wrong with you.
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: Something why you don't laugh that hard? Stop that sorry something?
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: Don't pick number two? If pick one or pick am
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: I out of line here? Does this not make sense?
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: You pick one end or the other end. You don't
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: pick the middle.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: So when somebody else comes in there, they have no
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: choice but to sit right next to you.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Right in case both of you are in a situation
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: where you can't get you know what, I'll come back
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: in a minute or whatever, and you both have to
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: go yeah, yeah, So you could be as far away
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: as the other verson's.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Put some space between you. This, I would think this
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: is common sense people. Is this not common sense? Do
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: we need to start having Do we need a federal aunt?
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Should there be some education money allocated for it only
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: makes sense that you pick number one or number three,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: you don't pick number two.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: No, but we definitely could use some grant money because
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: we could teach a class on this.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: This has happened to me now three times in the
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: month of February. Something's wrong with people.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: It's not the same person is I don't know.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I can't tell because I'm in one or three at
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: the time. I'm not in two. I can't I don't
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: know who they are I hope it's not the same person.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: It's not me, I know that much.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: But that's just that's that is just dumb, man, just dumb.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: You pick one or you pick three, So plea, if
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: you didn't already know that, if that wasn't already part
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: of your existence protocol, please make it so. Do not
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: do a disservice to your fellow humans. And this applies
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: to both men and women, by the way. I don't know.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe they're they're less territorial in this respect, but but
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: it could apply to them as well. But guys, yeah,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: you pick one or you pick three. You don't you,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: for the sake of all things sane, you don't pick
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: the middle stall.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I have one for even if there's more than three.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: When you go into some of those restrooms, if it's
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: a loves or something, and you have if there's like fifteen,
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: you still go further away.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: You don't set by someone.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: No, you don't. You don't right and specific too, gentlemen,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: if you go in and you have to you know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: you don't need a conference room but a phone booth,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: and and you're using the phone, don't don't come in
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: and get right next to somebody else. Unless there's only
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: like two to choose from and which case go ahead.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: But if that's the case, no conversation is allowed. No,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: don't talk, don't ask about the weather, the family, not
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: just just look straight ahead, do your thing and get
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: out of the booth. We have to tell people whether
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: they're men or women. And now we have to give
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: lessons like I don't know what's wrong with this world?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: A two on nine eight eight six two WTV and Brad, Brad,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: are you with me or a gimme? I'm with you, Chuck,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: thank you?
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: They say the middle.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Office space is the cleanest, so that's why a lot
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: of people pick that area.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Well but still, I mean, I understand your desire to
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: have cleanliness, but you're just it's just it's awkward. It's awkward,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: is what it is.
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: It is awkward.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But if you go in there and nobody else is
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: in there, you're hoping nobody else will come back in
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: and you're picking the cleanest spots. And what about what
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: about when you're in the phone booth, what's the conversation
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: rule for you?
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: I don't talk.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Brad. You are a good American man. We
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: need more like you. I appreciate you, buddy, Thanks very much.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: A two one nine eighty six A two one WTV
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: And a lot of people think I'm making something out
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: of nothing, but it's not something out enough. It's something
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: because there is something to be talked about there. This
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: is just this is a basic human interaction. We all go,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: We have to go. That's just that's life. Unless you're
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: on the West side, you're not allowed to go anywhere
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: on the west side. They're all closed. But are these
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: like that out where you live too? On your because
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: you're farther west side than I am, can you find
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: a bathroom like at a gas station or something out there?
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: You know the Kroger's I'm broad Yeah, Okay, from there
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: you're fine.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: And that little shopping with with the Walgreens or whatever. Yeah.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: The further you go away from that Kroger's towards downtown, yes,
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: it gets.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Less less and less and less. Yes. And when you
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: get over to the old Hilltop area where I am,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: it's it's a yeah. They're all closed. Convenience stores, gas stations,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: the park, the park. If you go over to the parks,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: there's three idioth parks on the west side. The city
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: will put out porta potties during like, uh, spring and summer,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: but then around October, in October they take them out
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: because nobody peas in the winter. And but this again,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: we used to have actual bathrooms at the parks. But
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: they got tired of you know, people using drugs in there,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: or or or you know, homeless people sleeping in there,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: or female oriented commerce occurring in there, and so they
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: tore them down. But then they realize, well, people still
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: gotta go, but apparently only got to go when the
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: weather's nice. So so they put in porta potties during
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: the spring and summer, and and lo and behold, people
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: homeless people still sleep in there. Female commerce still occurs
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: in there. Drug use still occurs in there, except now
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: it's ugly and bright blue and stinky and and and
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: and and and only available with the weather's nice. So
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: what if like after Thanksgiving, you take a constitutional to
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: get rid of some of the turkey, and and you
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: you feel like, I got to walk off some of this.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Wait man, I eat a lot for thanks here, and
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: you're out there walking the park and you have to go.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: You got it? Maybe maybe just you had a lot
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: to drink. You gotta make a peepee. There's nowhere because
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: it's winter, and they take them out, so ridiculous. And
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: if you stop at a gas station, gas station, everybody
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: the gas station is an American place to go make
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: a peepee if you have to, except on the west
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: side because they didn't want the hookers going in there,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: and they didn't want the drug users going in there.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: So now they're all locked. You can't get in. You're
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: laughing at this. You're not as old as me, But
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: the older you get, the more often you require a
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: peepee place, and so it's very inconvenient.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I hear you.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: If I had.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: The worst is when you stop off.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: An interstate and you just pull to the first place
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: you can go to that's a gas station, and they're closed.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: And they're closed.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, so now I go to and this is bad.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: But if I get off, if I can't help it
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: and I have to get off, I go to like
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: a McDonald's or.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: And then they make you buy something so you can
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: have a code number on your receipt so you can
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: get into the bathroom.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: The ones I will never go in are the ones
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: at a gas station or they're like here, take the
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: key and go around back.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know what's in there, what's waiting for.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: There's a guy named Eddie. Don't worry about him.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Eddie hat there, but and.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Then and then here, here's something else. So so when
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: somebody gets arrested for like public urinasian seriously, I've been
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: told I know, I've never looked it up. I don't know,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: but I've been told that there is an ordinance where
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: if you are open to the public, like a store
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: or a gas station or whatever, that you have to
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: have facilities. There have to be available facilities. You can't
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: have a store and people come in and they can't
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: go if they have to. I don't know if that's
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: an ordinance here in Columbus or not, but if it is,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: and uh, and you have to, you know, go with
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: the side of the street because you're about to burst
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: and everything has a closed bathroom around you, I would
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: say there's a lawsuit to be had there.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: There could be, there could be sure.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I'd look, I would go to a bathroom if there
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: were one.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, especially you have an emergency, if you get kind
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: of sick all of a sudden and there's just nothing
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: you can do.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, it happens. Yes, And if you go in and
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: there are three stalls, pick one or three. That's all
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. You shouldn't have to teach people. We're just
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: not raising our children right anymore. This is what it is.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Back in the good old days, you would raise your
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: child to say, pick one or three. That's one of
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: the first things they should learn in kindergarten. Pick one
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: er three.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: It should be a nice you should just know who
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: doesn't know.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: You would think it was common sense. You would think
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: it was common sense, but apparently it's not. I'm glad
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: you're enjoying my misery.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Well, it hasn't happened to me, so I think it's hilarious.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna pay somebody to make sure it happens to you, now, okay,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: because I'm evil like that.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Ain't nobody following me into that bathroom? Some place just goes.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: I'll come back later.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: There was nobody in there. You pick the middle. We've
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: got a problem. Yeah, just that.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna stand outside and see who it is.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I'm watching the screen in here just to see if
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: there's any any gut three updates. I don't know if
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: if you were listening. We had Donald Hollick was on
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: with Mark there in the last half hour and uh,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: he's uh, he's retired Secret Service. I had. I had
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: mister Trombden has Harry trum Bite is retired FBI on
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: with me last night. We were talking about this, and
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I was telling Mark off the air that I agree
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: with the retired FBI guy that was on Good Morning America.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: This this guy who did this, if it is indeed
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: a guy, because now there's some debate about that. Mark
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and Zach both think the eyes are too pretty to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: be a guy.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: I saw listen, I saw what looked like facial hair, Yes,
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: like the little beard, but the eyes look fit.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: As soon as Mark said that, I was like, I'm
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: not crazy.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Well, if you aren't. If you are, you know, going
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: to the extent of covering yourself in ski clothing and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: a ski mask and gloves and all that kind of stuff.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: It's now stretched to get a fake mustache that's true
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: or whatever. So it could it could very well be
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: a woman in disguise whatever, But they are See here's
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: what I don't get this. I don't get this at all.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: They were completely unprepared. They came there to do something,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: but were completely unprepared to do it. They were klutzy,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: They wouldn't They tried to get the camera off, the
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: camera wouldn't pull off the wall. So they went and
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: got some bushes from in front of the house and
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: pulled those up and tried to cover the camera lens
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: with the bush. Laister criminal Yeah, yeah, so this is like,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: is this person even competent to be a criminal? And
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: and then they said, well, looked like they had a
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: gun in their waistband and the gun was right in
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: the front of the pants. Most most guys would not
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: carry a gun there.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying, not even plexico burs it could.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: It could. It could cause greater harm than than anybody's
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: willing to risk. Correct, So there's another reason why I
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: think it. Maybe it was a female, but male or female,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: they were completely incompetent. And as mister Mahllick was saying,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: there's been no progress toward you know, pay the ransom,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: or you didn't pay the ransom, so you're not getting
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: her back or anything like that. It's just so up
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: in the air that nothing definitive has happened. Savannah Guthrie
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: and her family doing the videos saying we hear you,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: and we're willing to pay. We need to talk to you.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And yet it's almost like, well, we'll get around to it,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: right you know, we'll hit you with that ransom thing
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: a little bit later. We're a little busy right now,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: but we'll get back to you. But I'm gonna I'm
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: gonna keep watching this because I you know, I I
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers, but when we do get
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: all the answers, this is gonna be one of those
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: things where the entire nation's jaw drops at the same time.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's gonna be. It's just so b
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: it's just so bizarre
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: It is, and there's something we don't know that we
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: are definitely not inspecting, and that it's just gonna floor
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: us all when it's over with.