Latest / The Happiness in Retirement® Hour / Swedish Death Cleaning: Declutter Your Life, Embrace What Matters
Transcript
- And the hedonistic treadmill is buying stuff and getting a little shot of dopamine for a few days. You buy that new car, the new home, the new clothing, whatever it is, and you might feel better for a day or two, but then that feeling goes away and you've just got to do it all over again. And you keep buying stuff, thinking it's going to make you happy, and it never really does. You never really arrive in the oil with stuff. Something to consider as part of this Swedish death cleaning. Are you stuck on the hedonistic treadmill? Are you still trying to feed the hungry ghost? What do stoicism and Buddhism and minimalism have to do with sound financial planning? I'm Bill Del Sette, entrepreneur, certified financial planner, registered life planner, and creator of this podcast because the road to retirement should be an adventure, not a survival strategy. If you like this podcast, subscribe, tell your friends, visit our website, www.happiness.com or delcetti.com with a hyphen between the L and the S. Well, let's get right into it. This month's theme has been an ongoing look at estate and legacy planning. At the last podcast or a couple of podcasts ago, we talked about planning for your digital assets, your intangible assets, if you will. And today we're going to talk a little bit about planning for your tangible assets through the art of Swedish death cleaning. Now, it's not as morbid as it sounds. In fact, it's all about just keeping things that are meaningful to you and that will have meaning for your family and loved ones. I don't know if you've ever been an executor or an executrix and have had to deal with a loved one's house and belongings. If you have, you know how difficult it could be, especially if you've got a life of your own, which you probably do, and your own stuff to take care of. Well, what if your loved one actually took some time to be really intentional about what they kept and what they threw away or gave away or sold before they passed? Which, by the way, can be done at any time in life. It isn't necessarily something that just has to be done when you're close to death. Well, a woman who surprisingly is Swedish because this is all about Swedish death cleaning and no cultural misappropriation here. Woman's name is Margareta Magnusson. She wrote a book back in 2018 called The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter. Great name. I love it. There's also a workbook. If you're so inclined, you could find it on Amazon. And it's also a show whose series was created by the Peacock Channel, hosted by Amy Poehler, all about Swedish death planning. There's also a book now called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I actually read that book. by Marie Kondo. And there's also this ongoing realization, I think, post COVID, that stuff doesn't make you happy. Experiences and relationships do, but stuff doesn't. And people who are focused on materialistic pursuits, like getting rich and buying stuff, are at a higher risk of becoming unhappy, anxious, having low self-esteem, and even developing problems with intimacy. So this Swedish death cleaning, if you will, is generally performed by folks that are say 55 or over or close to death, but it doesn't have to be. It can be done by anyone at any time. And so what is it, how do you approach this Swedish death cleaning? Well, it's a mindful decluttering process, first of all, and it's often undertaken, as I said, later in life, but it's applicable to any stage in life. Again, the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is popular across all age groups. You should check that out as well. It does differ than other decluttering methods. It focuses on legacy and reducing burdens. And again, as I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast, if you ever took care of a loved one's estate and tangible personal property, personal belongings, you know how difficult that can be. And it also has a philosophical aspect. You're thinking about what truly matters and aligning possessions with values. So what are the benefits of Swedish death cleaning? Well, before we get into that, I have a personal experience I want to relate with you. I've moved about every five years. And more recently, I sold a home, a very large home that I owned for about seven years. And I had a lot of stuff, had a lot of stuff. And I actually hired an estate clean out firm. Yes, there are companies that actually specialize in estate clean outs. They generally do clean outs of homes for people who have passed for their families, for their estates. Well, it just so happens I'm not dead, but I knew these folks through the work that they do, and I actually hired them to sell the stuff in my house that I didn't want. Now, I was very intentional in the stuff that I kept. So this Swedish death cleaning, if you will, which I knew nothing about at the time, but I wanted to declutter and simplify. I actually took some time. I had one room in my house that was empty and I just put the stuff from each room. I had seven bedrooms, had a big old Victorian home in the GE plot in Schenectady, New York. An interesting diversion. Check that out. Google GE plot Schenectady. for what is known as the first development in the United States. Very cool homes. Anyway, back to the story. So I had a seven bedroom home. I hired this company to sell my stuff. I methodically took only the things that I really loved. And I didn't think anyone that I knew or family would want. I took those things with me and left the rest there to sell. Well, of course, people came to my quote estate sale held over a weekend and everyone in the neighborhood were like, oh, I'm so sorry. You know, Bill, sorry about Bill. What happened? And of course, the folks had to explain it while he's not dead. He's just decluttering. So we got a good laugh out of that, but it's becoming more common that people declutter. And I can personally attest to the fact that, man, it is a good feeling. And if you've lived in the same home for a long time, then and then you've moved, then you probably know just how much stuff you can accumulate over the years. By the way, some of that may have to do with your upbringing. If you grew up very poor, you may be a bit of a hoarder. You may think that you need to keep all this stuff that you may someday it may come in handy if you will. So what are the benefits of Swedish death cleaning? You get emotional clarity first and foremost. Letting go of unnecessary items can allow you to focus on the more meaningful things. If you only keep the things truly at me, then you walk into your house and it's just so different than a cluttered house with just stuff with no meaning. Second, it reduces clutter. It makes daily life so much easier when you don't have so much stuff. You know, just your closets. What if you only kept the clothes that you really wear? My guess is two thirds of what you have in your closet you may never wear. You know, it's the old saying, take the things, maybe the clothes or other things in your home that you don't use that often, put them away. And if you don't go looking for them within six months, then toss them, sell them, what have you. So reducing clutter just makes life so much easier and finally prevents stress for loved ones who would otherwise have to manage these possessions. And again, if you've ever been in that role where a loved one passes away and you are charged with cleaning out that home, you know how difficult it can be. Legacy building, passing on treasured items with intention and thoughtfulness. will, will just make the lives of your loved ones so much easier and you'll feel better for it. You'll actually, your home will be less cluttered and only have things that really matter to you or potentially to your loved ones. So lots of benefits to this so-called Swedish death cleaning, no matter your age. How do you do this? How do you start? Well, first of all, it's an ongoing process. It doesn't have to be something that you get done in a weekend or a month or even a year. You could take a long time to do this cleaning process the right way. But the first step is to really reflect on your goals. Why do you want to do this? What do you want to leave behind? What do you think would really matter to your family and friends? And then start small again, you know, small steps. Begin with your closet, maybe, or begin with a category. Begin with kitchen utensils or your clothing. Maybe books. Then move on to the sentimental items. So take your time in doing it. Start small. You don't have to do it all in a day. Ask the key question. Will anyone be happier if I save this? Will anyone be happier? Will I be happier? Will my family be happier? Do my kids really want my stoneware collection? Do they really love my collectibles? Are they going to like my comic books? Whatever. I'm just picking things. My stamp collection. Is it really going to matter to them? Maybe ask. Involve your family in the process. Boy, what a great way to remember certain items, where they came from, what their significance is to you, and also for your family to share with you whether or not it would enhance their lives by inheriting any particular personal property. So you involve your family in the process. You share stories and pass on heirlooms. And then you want to plan for unwanted items, right? What are you going to do with them? Are you going to donate them? Maybe that's the best course of action. I donated a whole bunch of clothing to those in need. What about selling your items? Again, I hired a firm that does estate planning cleanouts and believe me, delegating that was, it just, look, if you're close to the objects, the stuff in your home and you try to sell some of this stuff, you may have an attachment. So I just stayed right out of the process. I let them handle it and I wasn't even there for the sale. or you may want to recycle stuff. Then maintain progress. When you adopt a minimalist mindset in your life, it's an ongoing process. Once a month, once a week, from time to time, update the stuff in your home. Get rid of the stuff that you don't need. I don't know about you, but every so often stuff just tends to accumulate. And you'll know when that happens, maybe that's the trigger to continue on with this Swedish death cleaning and an ongoing process. So what are some of the challenges and how can you overcome them? Well, again, emotional attachment is a big deal. Focus on memories, not the object. Get rid of the object and keep the memories. Take a photograph of the object, keep it in your phone. What about resistance from loved ones? That's a big deal. You could frame it as a gift of organization and clarity for them more than anything else. You may feel overwhelmed. It's a big process, but again, you could start small, start with one room, start with a drawer in your kitchen, start with clothing, start with a category and work your way through. and go room by room or category by category cleaning out your stuff. See how much better you feel. So some other things to consider here. Minimalism has become a thing and post COVID people are much more aware of what brings them happiness and peace of mind and joy. And simple life now I think is becoming a goal of many folks. I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast, the hedonistic treadmill. Boy, that's a mouthful. The hedonistic treadmill is just simply this idea, hedonism, the philosophy of hedonism, just all about the joy and the pleasure in life. And the hedonistic treadmill is buying stuff and getting a little shot of dopamine for a few days. You buy that new car, the new home, the new clothing, whatever it is, and you might feel better for a day or two. But then that feeling goes away and you've just got to do it all over again. And you keep buying stuff thinking it's going to make you happy. And it never really does. You never really arrive any oiled stuff. Something to consider as part of this Swedish death cleaning. The second concept, philosophically speaking, is the hungry ghost. And the hungry ghost is this idea, if you will, of a ghost who keeps stuffing his mouth, keeps feeding himself and eating and eating, but he's never full. Right? This consumerism, which again, many people are rejecting now. What about stoicism? Stoicism, really one of its key tenants is to make the happiness in your life the least dependent on external forces like stuff. I love that idea. The least dependent on external forces. So your happiness comes from within, not from without, not from conspicuous consumption, having more stuff, buying more stuff. In fact, again, this idea of Swedish debt cleaning, getting rid of things, telling you you'll feel so much better. Another humorous side note, if you get a chance, watch George Carlin's skit, A Place for My Stuff. He says, a house is just a cupboard over your stuff. It's the place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Great, classic, it's PG in at the end, but watch George Carlin's A Place for My Stuff, a little lighthearted look at consumerism these days. George Carlin, great stuff. Speaking of stuff and getting more stuff, when I sold my home, I did keep, I'm ashamed to say, I did keep some things that I thought I would, quote, need someday. Here it is going on, I think two or three years now, my house has been gone, and I have a large self-storage unit. that I haven't visited in over a year, I'm ashamed to say. So what's the point? The point is, if you really, you know, if you're in that situation at some point, just get rid of it. Get rid of all that stuff. If you have a self-storage unit and you've owned it a while, close it up. Get rid of the stuff that you thought you were going to need and you don't. So there it is. Swedish death cleaning. Evaluate your stuff. You'll feel unburdened. You'll feel so much better and you'll appreciate life more. Go through the Swedish death cleaning process. Read the book. Maybe watch the series. Start decluttering your life. Start asking your family, hey, do you really want this stamp collection? Do you really want this China? And if not, make a plan for it. Get rid of it. Declutter your life. Simplify and make life easier for your family when you're gone. This has been the Happiness in Retirement podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. Again, if you have enjoyed it, share it with a friend. Subscribe or visit our website, www.happinessinretirement.com or dellsteady.com with a hyphen between the L and the S. We'll see you next time.