Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / RHOC Jennifer Pedranti and fiancé Ryan Reveal if Divorce is Easier Than Real Housewives

Transcript

RHOC Jennifer Pedranti and fiancé Ryan Reveal if Divorce is Easier Than Real Housewives · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome back you guys. I do Part two.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Jen Fessler, and today I am
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: joined by two of my friends and you know them
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: from the Real Housewives of Orange County. It is Jen
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Pedantry and Ryan. Hi, guys, Hi, how are you? So
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: you guys listeners should know that these are actually my friends.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: We have been out to dinner. My husband Jeff just
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: adores Ryan. We all adore Jen. I'm happy to have
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: you because I know it's been very hard to book
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: you guys.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: You have been busy.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Well no, listen, I've been wanting to do this with
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: you because one you are my girlfriend. I love doing
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: this stuff with you, and two we've not been able
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: to make it work.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: So I'm so happy to be here with you today.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Jen agreed. I know it's hard also when you're filming.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: All right, my friends, So I know you know already
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: what this podcast is about, but we're really talking. We
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: talk to people who are on their part two or three,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: or four or five. You know, I have shared with
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: you guys, I'm sort of on my part two. Jeff
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: and I were separated for like a year and a
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: half and I consider this a part two and I
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: know that both of you are on your part.
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: Two.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Ryan, I believe you have been married before. I know
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: you have two kids, right, Yes.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: I was married for eighteen years.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, wow, Okay, that's a long time. Jen. How are you?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: How long were you married?
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: I was married like twenty one years.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Twenty one yeah, a long time.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Twenteen years.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: You guys, before we sort of jump into the two
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: of you, and I don't want to be too intrusive,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: but can you tell me a little bit about well Ryan,
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: first you because I don't think the viewers really got
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: to know too much about your first marriage. A little
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: bit about I don't know how that was, and not
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: too much before he.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Says anything, Can I tell you something? You tell me.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: You're never too intrusive and we would share anything.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, ask all the question, ask away.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I love you, guys, Thank you. I'll be sorry you
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: said that, not really.
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: Tell us again.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: Yes, I met her in high school, going into freshman
• 2:15
  Speaker 6: year of high school.
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: We started dating, ended up married at twelve.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: It's not even high school, going into freshman year, almost
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: like middle school.
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: Yes, we met essentially in middle school, started dating. We
• 2:26
  Speaker 6: dated on and off all the way till I was
• 2:29
  Speaker 6: twenty three and we got.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Married at twenty three.
• 2:32
  Speaker 6: Twenty three, yeah, I think married to twenty three. My
• 2:35
  Speaker 6: first son who's now twenty two, when I was twenty five,
• 2:38
  Speaker 6: and then my daughter a year later and she's a
• 2:41
  Speaker 6: twenty year old.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: That's so crazy to me, only because I have a
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: twenty three year old daughter and I just can't even
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: imagine that.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: But listen, and I was married a little bit late.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: But all right, so you were married a long time,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: which I don't know if that was part of it,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: getting married so young. I do hear that story. Sometimes
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: people change, things change. Tell me a little bit maybe
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: about the marriage and when it stopped working.
• 3:08
  Speaker 6: You know, Heather, who's my ex, is an amazing woman,
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: and I'm so grateful for the mom that she is
• 3:15
  Speaker 6: and the way.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: I'm not just I'm sorry, but what a lovely, fabulous
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: thing to say.
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: I just, I mean truly, for someone who has kids
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: being a father, the world kind of revolves around the
• 3:26
  Speaker 6: kids and co parenting. So being on part two and
• 3:29
  Speaker 6: being able to co parent in a the most healthy
• 3:33
  Speaker 6: possible way. It hasn't always been easy, but to sit
• 3:36
  Speaker 6: where we sit now is a gift. But I will
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: say you mentioned a jen. When you meet someone at
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: I don't know, thirteen years old, A lot changes from
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: you know, thirteen, then married at twenty three and divorced
• 3:47
  Speaker 6: at forty.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so a lot changes.
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: I do take full responsibility for the decline of my.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Marriage, full responsibility I do anyone fully Is anyone fully responsible?
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: That's general I think No, I don't think.
• 4:01
  Speaker 6: I don't think anyone is fully right because everything, if
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: you have two people involved, there's you know, personalities and
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: two different people. But the reason my marriage failed ultimately
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: was because of me and my infidelity. So I take
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: full responsibility. Should I could I say, Heather, my ex
• 4:19
  Speaker 6: could have done this or that.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: At the end of the day, it's on me.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I can't help it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Just that just I find that so well honest of course,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: but admirable and thank you.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying it to be admirable. I'm just saying I.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Know, I understand that, I understand that.
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: And I would say this looking back now, I'm forty nine,
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: so looking through a different lens, looking back nine years ago,
• 4:44
  Speaker 6: saying when the divorce failed, I don't know if you've
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: sat if I sat down at forty with you, if
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: I would say that, but truly it's how I feel
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: now looking back through the lens I look through being
• 4:54
  Speaker 6: a little bit more responsible and mature. It fell on
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: my shoulders, and that's okay, And I'm super grateful Jen
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: Moses super honest and transparent with my kids. So we
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: have the real conversations as to why it failed, because
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: they're in just like you said your daughter, they're getting
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: to the ages where my son has been dating his
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: girl girlfriend for six years and could be in might
• 5:17
  Speaker 6: be in that position in the next year or so.
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: So I have these very open dialogue conversations with both
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: of them.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: It's interesting because when I went on Jersey, my kids,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: so this is now got five years ago or something,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: but you know, we had a lot of family meetings
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: about it. But also you know, they at their age
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: know that, you know, obviously they were there when their
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: father and I separated, but also they knew that there
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: was infidelity and and I mean we did, we got
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: back together, but I don't remember ever really feeling with
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: them that like ashamed of it in the sense that
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: like I know a lot of parents are, but I felt, like,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: you know, I am at that point, I was an
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: adult it was my my you know, my journey and
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: my path and it turned out well and it wasn't
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: really about them.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: A lot of people don't feel that way, right.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: But Jeff and I felt like that, Jen, you feel
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: like I was opposite you. I felt that I was
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: the one that felt the guilt, Like, yeah, you know,
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I'm very I'm like Ryan, I'm very transparent with my
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: kids as well.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: But there was almost like a for me, like.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Uh, scarlet letter kind of like I felt like, as
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: a mom, I'm not supposed to do those types of things,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: and I've let all of these kids down by that
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: behavior of mine.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: So let me let me maybe part of my attitude
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: is because we both were unfaithful.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So I don't know about Will.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: And by the way, you guys, for all you listeners,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: my husband Jeff and knows actually Jen's ex Will. They've done,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I guess they they've been in not in business together,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: but they got to know each other because of their
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: you know, respected businesses, which is so which is so.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Crazy, right, crazy, just a small world.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: He always says the nicest things about Will, and Will
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: has always said the nicest things as well.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, well I'm going to jump ahead of myself.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like even you Jen have said really nice
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: things about Will and I know that Ryan, You've had
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: a relationship, a relationship with him where it feels like
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: you've been very respectful of him.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I know there are issues. I watched the show, so
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I get that.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: But yeah, with in terms of like the infidelity, I
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: guess because it was both of us, I felt like
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: it was between us when they got older. You know
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: what I was I felt guilty about was the separation, right, yeah, right,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: just And I don't know if guilt is the word.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was both my parents combination of seven
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: marriages between them, and I kind of thought divorce came
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: with the territory a little bit. But then watching my
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: kids when Jeff moved out was really way harder than
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I expected. But and you know, people of all kinds
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: of feelings about it. It was a sad time for sure,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: But you know, we do what we need to do.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, look at you guys now, and there's something
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: to be said for that.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: There is something to be said for that. And we
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: have some friends who are currently going like starting this
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: whole process. And it's interesting because, like Ryan, and I
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: always say, it's not like we're some divorce advocates like
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: if you can do what you guys did and put
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: it back together and find happiness and keep the family
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: unit one, my gosh, is that not an easier path
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: because nobody's kidding themselves, like the second time around it
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: it's not easy now. I will say for me, Jen,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: like I know now the things that I let go
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: for so many years in my marriage that I never
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: stood up for, I never voiced, or I didn't have
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: an expectation on my husband. He doesn't get away with
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: any of them now and vice versa. Like it's kind
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: of like, this is my second go around at this,
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: So it's either you're going to work and what doesn't work,
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: we're going to figure it out, or this doesn't work.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: I just I don't.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to tell you, like I know you
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: so you know, not just as a viewer but as
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: a friend. But I don't know that that comes across
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: on the show. You know, I don't know, what do
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: you think, Ran, I don't.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: I don't think it does.
• 9:12
  Speaker 6: I think they you know, I'm not talking about editing,
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: but I think she's always kind of like the deer
• 9:18
  Speaker 6: and headlights.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: If it's relationships, yes.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: H yeah, I mean.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I just I feel like that piece of it that
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: you know, you learn, you live, you learn, you grow,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: But that piece of your relationship where you're not taking ship,
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: you know, is so important and different.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: And you know, but I think I'm sounding like I'm something.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Not that you gave her any Ryan, No, he gives me.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: I give him too, John Like, it's and here's the
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: other thing I want to say.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: It's not that I left this horrific marriage and now
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: I found the most perfect person in the world. Listen,
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Every relationship comes with their quirks, their their hang up
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: so it's it's like finding the person that their hang
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: ups are okay for you or he's willing to work
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: through it with me. Like my ex husband, I had
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: zero communication. I couldn't get will to have a conversation
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: with me to save my life. This guy, I'm like,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: but I'm not done talking.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: But I'm not done.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: I wait, hold on, I have one more question. And
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I drive him a little bananas with it. But he
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: knows that's kind of a thing for me, and he's
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: he is naturally a communicator, so it works so much better.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: It's not that it's perfect, it's that I have the
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: ability to communicate and inside this dynamic with Ryan.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: And also I feel like Ryan, you are a communicator,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: like at least that's again, well I know you are,
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: but that's how I feel like viewers feel like you
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: do like to communicate, like to sort of work things through,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: have have some kind of you're in touch with your
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: emotional you know side.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Say you're a feminine side, but you're like you're just
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: you seem like that guide to me, like you are.
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: I appreciate you saying that. And I can say that
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: probably wasn't that probably wasn't true. In my thirties and
• 11:10
  Speaker 6: till I got divorced, A lot changed after that, A
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: lot of self introspection changed of who I wanted to be.
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: Jen knows this.
• 11:18
  Speaker 6: I think the former me, I would say, and I
• 11:20
  Speaker 6: know that sounds weird. I was wearing a mask at
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: all times, just trying to be a people pleaser, being
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: kind of yes that yes guy. And it was at
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: forty with a divorce where I just said, I just
• 11:34
  Speaker 6: want to be better, a better version of me. I
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: want to be more authentic, I want to be honest
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: in all aspects of my life, and I didn't know
• 11:43
  Speaker 6: that was possible.
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: And then meeting Jen and having the ability to communicate.
• 11:47
  Speaker 6: I know everyone says this, everyone hears, and everyone says
• 11:50
  Speaker 6: relationships are work. I actually feel like, and this isn't
• 11:54
  Speaker 6: lip service, my relationship or the one that I'm in
• 11:57
  Speaker 6: with Jen, is not work because we're work as something
• 12:00
  Speaker 6: like you go punch a time card, and I never
• 12:02
  Speaker 6: feel I'm doing that, even if it's the moments where
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: Jen wants to over communicate, or you know, sometimes I
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: just beat something till there's nothing left to talk about.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: I still don't find it work. I'm so very interesting.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: That's such an interest point because guess what, as you're
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: saying that, I'm thinking I don't find it work, but
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I'm saying it's not. We don't fight. I'm not saying
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: we don't have hard moments. I'm not saying it doesn't,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: you know, frustrate the shit out of me, and certainly
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I do him, But I don't know.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think of it like that either.
• 12:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but we've all heard it right. Relationships are work.
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: Marriage is work. And I am so grateful to sit
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: here this second go around and say it's not work.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: I also didn't know. And this is something I learned
• 12:44
  Speaker 6: about me along the way. Not a knock on my
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: first wife, Heather, but just more about learning me. I
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: didn't think it was possible to be in a relationship
• 12:56
  Speaker 6: with your actual best friend.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: I used to do and do all the had.
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: You know, my first phone call was to my buddies,
• 13:04
  Speaker 6: and probably the first three phone calls would be to
• 13:06
  Speaker 6: my buddies versus my ex wife. My first phone call
• 13:10
  Speaker 6: now good, bad, indifferent in the middle. My first opportunity
• 13:13
  Speaker 6: to spend time is with Jen, and I'm so grateful
• 13:17
  Speaker 6: for that and the fact that we're able to do
• 13:19
  Speaker 6: it with our schedules with seven kids. I attribute and
• 13:24
  Speaker 6: I am so grateful for Jen of that because she
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: creates the time and makes the time. It makes me
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: feel like had very special in that way.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I was just recently in LA and we did and
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I do Part two with a bunch of hosts, and
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: we were talking a lot about this like the change
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: and when there's a like for me a spark right now,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: and a lot of people talk about the spark, and
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I know you guys had a lot of chemistry when
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: you met, but a spark now is this feeling of
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: not only peace of my life, but I really like Jeff.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I like spending time with him, like I really respect him,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: and I really like him, and of course I love
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: him as well. And I think that's like what you're describing,
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: wanting to spend time with Jeff. With Jeff, I'm sorry
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: with Jen, but enjoying that time. You know, I am
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: getting to the point of my life where I just
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I can't stand most people, so which you know I can't.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I can barely have people come and spend the night
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: in my house anymore. Like I just I have no
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: or stay in people's homes when I travel. But I
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: can do all of that with Jeff. And and we
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: are you know, we're just symbiotic. I mean we are
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: man and wife or husband and wife, excuse me. But
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: also just I enjoy him. I enjoy his company, which
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: is such a pleasure, you know.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Well he It's so funny for Riot because I'm sure
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: through the show people have seen or made the assumption
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: like before me, Ryan had this big past, you know,
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: and his big past was chasing women and sunshine and
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: vacation and you know, all his all his.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: Past girlfriends and whatever.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: And it's so funny because it's so cute to me
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: now because he tells me all the time like you're
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: my best friend, like you're you're the whole, like you're everything,
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: like everything's in you.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, I know, babe, or that for me too.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: But he had like like you're saying, he had the
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: ex wife and then he had his guy friends, and
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: then he had the girls he would chase.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: But I know him so well he was.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Just chasing and feeling boyds when really the boid he
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: was really chasing after was figuring out him, like who
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: was he?
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: Who's Ryan? Who's the hole Ryan?
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: And he'll tell me all the time like you're home,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: Like he always tells me like you're home for me
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: and and I know that, like I and when.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: That's how it feels, right, I know that, yes is
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: how it feels.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Do you guys have ever go through either one of
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: you have do therapy at all?
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, we love therapy.
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: It is actually my therapist who would say, you're chasing ghosts,
• 16:04
  Speaker 6: like what you're doing and you come in here and
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: you have the highs and the lows, but at the
• 16:08
  Speaker 6: end of the day. Take a look in the mirror,
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: it's you and number two what you're chasing as a
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: ghost and.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Does that does she mean it? Does she mean it?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: When you were chasing women or just chasing.
• 16:18
  Speaker 6: Everything, chasing everything, a new car, you know, and whatever
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: it is sometimes as males.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: And they call it. You know what do they call it?
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: When we go through mid.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Life christis you start.
• 16:27
  Speaker 6: Like, it's just amazing when someone can sit down and
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: you you mentioned it earlier, Jen, and I'm grateful that
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: I have a very spiritual side and a faith based
• 16:37
  Speaker 6: side that I can sit down with my therapist or
• 16:40
  Speaker 6: I respect in that way. Agendas too were the same
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: one and she can say it's you, buddy, look in
• 16:45
  Speaker 6: the mirror, you're the problem, and ye're when you're in
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: position to hear it, and it actually moves the meter
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: in your own like soul and you're like, I want
• 16:56
  Speaker 6: to be different.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: It just changes a lot of things.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: I hope that next season you guys get to showcase
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: some of this because.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: It's so Maybe it's.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Because I love you, but it's just it's so endearing,
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: you know, I love I love just hearing about this
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: and these parts of your relationship as opposed to I
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: don't know, whatever other mess.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: It's funny when you talk about the spark.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like people look at Ryan and I like
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: it's like some sexual thing constantly with Ryan and I
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: and no, kid yourself, I have that with him. But
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: and it is different I think for men and women.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: But like what you're saying, Jen, like my spark is
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: to be five years in with this man and I'm
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: safe and what he tells me he does. Like if
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Ryan tells me something's going to happen, I know that
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: that's accurate.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: I'm safe.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: That's so important, Jen. But you just say that is
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I know, be able to count on him like that?
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I know it is.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, I still appreciate that to this day, that I know,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: no matter what, I can count on Jeff Bessler.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Listen.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends who have been divorced
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: and they speak to that, right, like how important that
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: is that you know? I remember when Jeff and I
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: first got together, so silly, but we were engaged and
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I had moved to his place in Jersey and I
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: just started a new job, and he said to me,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: like at the beginning of the day, He's like, well,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: you know, I'll take you, I'll show you where to
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: catch the bus or whatever. And I remember thinking in
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: my head, for some reason, he's not going to remember
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: to do that.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Like most boyfriends I had had.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Really give a shit, right, And I just I always think,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: like when I'm talking about this, I remember at the
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: end of the day and it was late, like we've
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: been out all day. It was like seven o'clock and
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: he's like, all right, let's go by. And I just
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: silly things like that that always stick with me. If
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Jeff says he's going to do something, he just does it, period,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: and I appreciate it.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: And I feel like for women that translates in my
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: marriage to my husband. At first, like it was intimacy
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: was used to like just get attention from him. Then
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I got so that like we would have intimacy but
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: no time together. Then I would be like, Okay, I
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: don't even now because what you say doesn't happen.
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: We're never together.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: I don't feel it being intimate with you. And I
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: would say to anybody that's on number two or number
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: three or number ten, do what you say, say what
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: you mean, and put the time in, because now it's
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: like I can't believe I'm five years and I still
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: have butterflies. But it's not just the sexual side of it.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: It's the Yeah, it's who he is with me, with
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: my kids. I look at him and I'm like, oh
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: my gosh, that's all mine. And I'm not talking about
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: the man sitting poolside and his wareshorts hot as hell
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: to me.
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: I'm talking about the man in my home.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: And when I feel like for women, there's the spark, right,
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: like you're gonna lit a spark, like do something and
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: say what you do or do what you say.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: She is going to be like, I'm that that is mine.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Like I tell that to my kids.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: I tell it specifically to my daughter, like, yes, you're
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: gonna fall with your heart and with your body. Yeah,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: you gotta just try if you can, and at this
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: young age to not be completely controlled by that to think,
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: you know, and my grandmother used to say to me
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: all the time, he doesn't have to be rich, he
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: has to be ambitious, he doesn't have to be I
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: don't know. A million things like that that I always
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: took with me, and I try to sort of, you know,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: put to give them my kids those same values anyway,
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: not about me moving on, since we're talking about ten
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: million kids between you, how did the mix go guys,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: like from the beginning, well, go ahead.
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: We were just talking about it yesterday to a friend
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: who the one Jen mentioned is going through divorce right now.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: I think it was so organic.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: We let it be organic, so there was no forcing it.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: It was kind of like the kids knew about Ryan,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Ryan's kids knew about me, and then there was never
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: like a we are going to dinner and you guys
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: are going to meet and I have by Ryan has two,
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: so it was a weird. One would be kind of
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: ready and then that would be like a hangout with that.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: And it took time, though, Jen. And there's this one
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: trip when my daughter was on board, ready to go,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: loved him, and it was our first travel trip together
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: and we went to Vegas with my daughter and her
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: girlfriend and I remember Ryan, when we were holding hands
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: and walking down Vegas, my daughter shut down like that
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: was it. And so that trip took a turn we
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: didn't anticipate. So it was a lot of me with Evvy's,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: a lot of talking with her. I think it was
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: the realization of seeing mom, not with dad, but seeing
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: mom like with Ryan like I'm holding Ryan's hand, I'm
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: walking with Ryan, I'm and that was emotional for her,
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: and I just think the best thing my advice is
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: you've got to let the kids feel what they feel.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: There's no way to make it right when it's wrong.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: There's no way to make them. You just have to
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: let it be and they do come around. I mean
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: we were faced with early on Jen. Will set the
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: kids down and he was like, this is who took
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: your mom. This is he's a bad man. And you
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: told me, you said it's hurt from Will's just hurt,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: and this is what he's That's okay, he's just hurt
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: right now, and we're going to keep showing up for
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: these kids for time.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: They'll see it and I'm telling you, it just took the.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Time, and they do.
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: I would say for me, it was more of like
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: a three pronged approach. My two kids at the time
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: Jen entered my life. I'm now four years divorced, so
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: my kids were ready and open for dad to meet somebody.
• 22:31
  Speaker 6: Jen's kids met me at a time where yeah, so
• 22:35
  Speaker 6: it was that parncy.
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: It was chaos because Jen left her marriage and went
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: right to me.
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: So the kids didn't have this rougher time of Hey,
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: mom and dad have been separated, divorced for a year
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: or two and now mom met somebody. There was not that,
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: So I think first prong would be my kids were
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: open ready, and it was so easy for my kids
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: in Jen and I and then Jen's youngest two at
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: the time, Jeez Dom's eleven now it was five, and
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: Eddie is fifteen. She was like nine.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: They were much more easy and open and it was
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: her older boys, I think boys in general, but their ages.
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: Made that a little bit more, that runway a little
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: bit longer for them to who is this guy, what's
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: he here for?
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: And I can respect that.
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: So I think in the three prong approach, we just
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: let it continue to unfold without having any.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: You know, expectation, expectation or timelines.
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: And it's been it worked in our favor.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I said earlier that I didn't I don't feel guilty
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: to my kids about the infidelities. I feel guilty though,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: about some of the ways in which I handled them
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: when we were separated, because I had a boyfriend and
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: he became part of the household, and I definitely, looking back,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: have guilt about that. For allowing that even though and
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: my kids were really young and well like seven and nine,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: so not quite as young as yours, but so they
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: really didn't even have I don't think like the wherewithal
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: to say we don't like this right, But I should
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: have had the wherewithal to say this needs more time
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: to breathe. And I got very wrapped up in this
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: boyfriend and it wasn't not blaming him, but we moved
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: very quickly into this thing.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: And so I don't have, like I said, guilt.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I do have guilt, not, you know, not when it
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: comes to maybe some of the infidelities and things that
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: happened between me and Jeff, I feel like they're between
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: me and Jeff. But the things that I guess affected
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: my kids, I do, and I get that, gen You're
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: not alone because I made mistakes in that area as well.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: I think mom guilt is like such a thing. I
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: still do it.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: I just told him yesterday. I used to be like
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: the Christmas mom, I mean, freaking miss clause here.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: Now I can see that dress around money.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Is it enough?
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: Is it the Christmases they used to have.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: I mom guilt myself, like, well, I just want the
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: holidays done because I need to know it was enough
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: that they're happy and they felt like it was Christmas,
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: damn it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: And I did enough.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: But I don't know why we do that, Jeff, Like
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: I can mom guilt myself over anything, and I feel
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: like I want to. That is something I want to
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: get better at because I know you and I know me.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: We're damn good moms.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know why we do that.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: I don't feel like men do that as much as
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: women do. Like dad, guilt is not a thing, No,
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: not like that.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Uh, Jeff Fessler is as perfect a father as I
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: could have ever hoped for. And I am not a
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: perfect mother. So you know it's like I try, I
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: think to myself, I can't imagine him. I try to
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: guilt him sometimes, but he is nothing.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: It doesn't want work, No, he.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Just has nothing to feel to feel guilty about. But
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: I make plenty of mistakes and have had plenty of
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: guilt as a mom.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: You know over them.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I know that that you're right. That is that is
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: so so common. Gen I look at you and I
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: think you must be and I see it on TV.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: But the most loving, devoted mother, just the whole way
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: you have about you, and I see it in your
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: relationships with your kids on TV.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: So interesting.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: And I had a mother who listen, she had a
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: lot to deal with and it wasn't great a my
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: house growing up. And my therapist always says to me,
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: it's not very easy to break that. It's certainly it's
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: very difficult to break patterns. And I do know that
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: I've been a very good mom, and I know that
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: it was without really working hard on myself, I wouldn't
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: have been the mom that I've been. But I've been
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: in therapy for so many years and it's helped me
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: so much. And I think that specifically, I speak so
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: much about my kids in therapy and I get so
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: much great feedback and that has really helped me. But
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: with all of that, gen, You're right, we all have
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: mom guilt, and Ryan, I would think you have some
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: dad guilt.
• 26:56
  Speaker 6: I mean, oh, definitely, especially in the beginning, right because
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: I was a doer. I'm the one that wanted the divorce.
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: I definitely like some guilt. I think fast forward now,
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: and this is the great part about you can attest
• 27:07
  Speaker 6: to this gen with your kids being the age as
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: they are, they're now at ages where we're parents and
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: we're friends. Yeah, And I enjoy my kids so much.
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: They actually I want to go to dinner with my kids,
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: where before it's like we got to take the kids
• 27:19
  Speaker 6: dinner and feed them. Now it's like, you know, we
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: want them when we get to bring them with us,
• 27:24
  Speaker 6: the older ones, especially, just because the dialogue communication is different.
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: My kids would sit here with us today and have
• 27:30
  Speaker 6: told us I can't even imagine you a mom being together.
• 27:33
  Speaker 6: You're so different as people. Mom's great in her way
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: and you're great in your way. But I can't even imagine.
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: And they were old enough when we were obviously together,
• 27:41
  Speaker 6: they just can't see it. So it's cool that they
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: can mature through it, and that erode some of the
• 27:46
  Speaker 6: guilt that we may put on ourselves. When the kids
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: can say, oh, mom's so happy, Mom's doing great. I
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: couldn't even imagine you a mom together that type thing.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Ah, I totally can imagine. That's such a relief.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: It's so interesting because even like in this Ryan, you're
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: so honest, Like when they were younger, it's like kids
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: out to dinner with Yeah, right, that is the truth
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: of it, and it is I mean, I said to
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Rachel my daughter yesterday, I'm like, I can't. We like
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: opened a bottle of wine. I'm like every time i
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: feel like like I'm drinking wine and then I'm like,
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: wait a second, Yeah, yeah, it's incredible. We also smoke
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: pot for the first time.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: Together, so that was Actually, that's hilarious.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: I shouldn't admitted that on the pod, but anyway, anyway, anyway,
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: I wish, I really do that we had seen more
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: of you with Ryan, with your relationship with your kids
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: on the show.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know if they are. Maybe they're not interested
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: in being on it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: So my son is a senior in college, so he's
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: not you know.
• 28:41
  Speaker 6: We filmed our gene typically films from let's call it
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: February to May, and he's in school so he's not here.
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: And then my daughter, twenty years old is has a
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: full time job.
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: So it's tough. Both of them would be interested if
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: they were. Yeah, just tough schedule wise to get seven kids. Hey,
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: we're filming at this time with their lives in school
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: and everything else.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: Mine, see, this is the difference Jen, like with mine.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: I can tell Harrison who's at USC like they need
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: to see you, like I need to film with you,
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: so you have to pick a weekend and come home
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: because they you know, producers or whatever. We'll say, like
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: what's question. But when it comes to his kids, I
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: do still feel like there's like a fine line and
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: a boundary that I need to respect as stepmom that
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: his kids have lives and my job is not their job. Right,
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: And so we did have a couple of times they
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: didn't show it, but we had a great couple of
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: like all of the kids and my god, it was
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: like the best morning and everybody was here.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: So it has happened a couple of times. It just
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: didn't you know, how things get cut.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean Heather, and Heather's okay with it.
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: Excellent with it. Yeah.
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: I mean, like I said, we're just in different places
• 29:53
  Speaker 6: and stages. So yeah, she's in full support of the
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: kids being a part of it if they want to
• 29:58
  Speaker 6: be a part of it. And she also knows that
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: it's are strong enough to say, yeah I don't really
• 30:02
  Speaker 6: want to I don't want to be a part of
• 30:03
  Speaker 6: it or not today for whatever reason.
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, a lot of respect there.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and will jen is he's been okay with it.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: Well, he doesn't have a choice, Jen, I mean, I
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: don't need.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: To make money, right, I need to make the money
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: and so.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, And so I think I think Will understands, like
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: in the position he's in right now, that he's not
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: being able to support the way he anticipated. So I
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: think he has no say to be like I don't
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: want you doing this, you know, because he knows that's
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: what provides for the kids and I.
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: So he doesn't say anything. He honestly, you know, it
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: would be so cool. And I've thought about this. I
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: wish they would build like I am so open.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: I would love to be like you know, Will has
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: this new dynamic in his life with his new girlfriend
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: or not new, but they've been together, and we'll talk
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: about it, like I see who I was married to,
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: and then I see this man with his girlfriend.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: I'm like, Wow, No, wonder we didn't work.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: You know, you can that person in that new relationship
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: and they wag their dynamics are in the way our
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: dynamics were. It's so weird to think that Will and
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I tried for so long to make it work. And
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: I wish we could all be way more friendlier.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: And open than it's been to me.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: I hate this on my side, Jen, the co parenting
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: has sucked, like big time and his wife or whatever
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: she is, I've known her for years, Like really, yeah,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: this was a girl that I just loved pieces and
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: she's got four kids.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Do I remember that? Did you talk about that on
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: the show?
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we talked about it briefly.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: It sounds familiar. Okay, So it's so sad and so.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: Weird, like why can't like they're so happy, We're so happy?
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: My gosh, looks like y'all do making a prediction.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: Remember I said this, I am predicting that the four
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: of you are going to be friends whatever that looks like.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I can see it comings who because of who the
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: two of you are and maybe even the six of you.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Wait, does Heather have a boyfriend for years?
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: His name's Ryan?
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: Two?
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Are you serious? And do you guys you're all get along?
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: And Jen, of course you do right on our side?
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: Yes, side is easy?
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's coming. I feel like you're
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I know, but I feel like it's coming. How were
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: you able to not discuss the issues about money with
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: the kids or did it just no?
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: I tell them, they yeah, no, no, no, in the beginning,
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: But now it's very We're just very open. Listen, I'm
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: not trash talking their father. And when I talk, I
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: know you about it. I talk about Dad's in the spot. Dad,
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: Dad's in the spot. Dad's not able to commit to
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: what he needs to right now. So we're not doing
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Chick fil A five times this week, or you know,
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Grayson will be like, I need gas and he'll say,
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: do you want me to ask Dad? And I always say, sure,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: try Dad, But if it doesn't work, you.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: Know, coming.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right you guys.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: So I have definitely been hitting you with a lot
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: of questions. I'm sorry I have a lot more. So
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: we are going to have to come back with a
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: part two.