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44. Pure Insanity! (Carmilla) · The Book-Watchers

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Its suns. Hi. Welcome to book watchers today. We're talking about Carmela,
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the first one fireworks, one of the oldest, if not the oldest
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vampire tale. I came out before Dracula. Huh. There's actually one older
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than that. Which one's older than it? Uh, fork out the name
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of it. Hold on, hold on oldest vampire story, the first Empire
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the Vampire in eighteen nineteen mm hmmm. And then I think Carmela came out
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and not like came out like fifty years later. Carmela came out in nineteen
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eighteen seventy one. Yep. And then of course Dracula hractu law came out
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in I did Draco come out in the nineteenth century? Was it the nineteenth
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century? Yeah, eighteen eighteen ninety seven, twenty years after Carmela. So
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we're talking about the oldest now the second oldest vampire publication. So, Hi,
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how are you? It's your boy Devin and yeah, and it's me,
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Jacob. You're like, it's me. It's a me Marial, It's
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a me. Yeah, bitch. Oh wow. Leave it to the fucking
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leave it to the British Isles to create all the first vampire stories. Yep,
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because John was from England, the UK London and then fucking the other
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two came from Ireland. So yes, today's story we're talking about today.
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Buckle up because we did Dracula. What last week or the week before?
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I can't remember. Uh yeah, the Thirtie's Night. The week before that,
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we did Dracula. Mm hmmm. So today we're going back to the
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old era of vampire stories. We're going to Carmela Neil Carmela is a vampire
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story that was written back in the eighteen hundreds or released to the public in
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eighteen seventy one, somewhere between eighteen seventy one to eighteen seventy two, written
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by Sheridan le Fanu. I guess that's how you say his name. I'd
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be wrong. Don't kill me ancestors if I got that name wrong. He
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is an irishman lived during the time period in Dublin, and he is the
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writer of the story. He is also one of the big writers during a
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movement of literature and art during that time period known as dark Romanticism. Now
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dark Romanticism is a movement that started in the eighteenth century one hundred years before
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that kind of led into the century there in. Currently, this dark romanticism
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has themes of human fatality, self destruction, judgment, punishment, guilt,
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and sin. These are the over overlining themes throughout these type of stories and
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this movement for this genre, if you will. Another big writer in this
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movement is of course ecro and Poe, So if any if you've read any
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acron post stories, his work is also considered dark romanticism as well as Carmela.
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Uh, let's see the main characters we're gonna I'm only gonna mention the
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two uh, the main characters of this story. Well, sorry outside that
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this book is only one hundred and eight pages long. It's very short,
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the goth Hella very short. I read it. I'm sure you can find
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it online for free because I'm sure it's royalty free now, or if you're
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on Kindle. It's like two or three bucks, five bucks at most.
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Very short. Two main characters we follow, well two of some of the
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main characters. Laura, which is the main character. It's all story of
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her life, and of course Carmela the vampire. So today I am leading
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today's episode on Carmela, as I said last week, and I think the
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week before. Buckle up, bitch. This ship is crazy so full of
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lesbians, full lesbians, full on lesbiyond the and the movie, not the
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movie, Oh my god, there was a movie, but the movie.
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We'll get into it. It's very it has very has a lot of similarities
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to the book, but at the same time the book is different. The
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movie and the book are different. The movie I'm talking about is on Shutters
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from twenty nineteen, right, twenty nineteen, twenty twenty, something like that.
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Relative it's it's it's it's relatively nil, but it doesn't copy take down
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the story beat for beat, but there are certain elements that are mirrored from
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the actor. So the book is presented as part of a case study from
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doctor Halisius Lucius, who is a medical of a medical rank. But it's
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also the first cult detective in literature done. Now. Laura, as we
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know, is the main where this whole case centers around, and this whole
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story is reflecting around her time where it was her her widowed father and her
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two governesses. Now these two governesses God where their names are long and winded.
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So uh, it is governess Madame Prodon and then Mademoise Mademoiselle de Lafontaine
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Lafontine. Don't quote me on that. My pronunciation is trash of French second
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ones, like heavily French. But yeah, she flogs on her childhood,
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uh being with her willed father and these two governesses and a governess for those
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of you who don't know, are basically like, how would you describe a
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teacher instructor you about life? I don't know, I don't know how.
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Let me look up a proper definition of a governess proper basically like, they're
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basically like they run the household. They make sure that finances and other things
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around the house goes run smoothly if they have to. They oversee the education
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and tutoring of the states. The lord's the lord of the states children.
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Yeah, they're basically like a nanny, a butler, a maid, and
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teacher a teacher, all that rolled up into one. Yes, So she
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has two governesses different And then she talks about how and this is all takes
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place in the Austrian Empire and her father and her are British, are English,
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and they live in the Austrian Empire during this time period. And then
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goes into how she remembers when she was six, she had a vision or
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a dream of a very beautiful woman that would go that visited her in her
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bedchambers at six and later claims to have been bit by her and this beautiful
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woman bit her breast. I don't like that they use the term bress for
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a six year old. I don't. I don't. It's very it's very
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like. This queen's a problematic Come I as a problematic queen, a very
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problematic queen. Now, I don't. I was like, what the fuck?
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I heard? This book was buffoonery and tom foolery and insane. But
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didn't realize it's gonna start right off the bat of just In Sandy. But
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here we are. So from there we jumped to, well, go back
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to the six year old thing. She had no wound, any no evidence
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of anything of anyone being there that bet her breasts in any way, and
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all the household is sured. Laura is like, oh, it's just a
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dream. It's just a dream. You're just dreaming things. It's fine,
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you're just dreaming things. But they did set up security, They buffed up
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security and supervision of her after this initial event that happened. Then we jumped
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twelve years. Twelve years later, she is now eighteen. At this time,
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Laura and her father are admiring the sunset in front of the castle that
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they live, while her father tells her of a letter from his friend,
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a general that he knew, and how the general was supposed to visit them,
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and he was supposed to bring his niece, Bertha. I'm not saying
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these last ans because these last names are long and winded, but Bertha was
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her first name, so he's supposed to bring his these Bertha, but birth
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the was I supposed to be like a companion, a friend, because Laura
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is just here by herself. She's lonely. She has no friends, no
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capatriots, none of that. So this general is supposed to come by with
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his niece so she can have a friend and a companion. Uh, Bertha
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died under mysterious, mysterious circumstances. And the general concludes that said basically,
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hey, i'll give you more information when I come by later. And that
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was basically the interact. The letter was just that my niece died. Sorry,
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I'm not gonna be coming right now, but i'll come. I'll be
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by later and I'll explain everything in more detail. When I get that she
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is, Laura's obviously very saddened by this news because she longs for a companion,
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a friend. Then all the blue, a carriage accident happens outside Laura's
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home unexpectedly brings a girl of Laura's around Laura's age into her family's care from
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uh so, yeah, there's a big old carriage accent, and she's the
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lone survivor, or she's one of the few survivors that happened from this as
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a wow, there's a there's a beautiful woman here about her aid, so
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they take her in and then god, let me get my notes together from
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there when they when the accident happens, Laura's father sends for a doctor to
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examine the young girl, which is named Carmela, while the governess comment makes
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a comment about her stunning beauty, and Laura herself is also struck by Carmela's
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beauty because Carmela is gorgeous when they go. When she goes to check on
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her, she soon realizes recognizes her from her dream. So Laura checks in
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on her and she's like, wait a minute, wait a goddamn minute,
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yo. The bitch from my dream when I was six years old? Did
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you suck by titty? She bought by titty. Carmela remembers Laura as well,
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She's not even hiding it and admires Laura's own beauty, and Laura takes
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this as a sign that they are meant to be friends. Sweetie, you
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a lesbian, sweetie girl, you a lesbian? Who you foolly ain't fooling
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anybody? You a lesbian on. So, while they're while they're taking care
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of her, of Carmela since her injury, and she mysteriously, her mysterious
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mother informs Laura's father that her journeys are gent and cannot be delayed for Carmella.
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She arranges to leave her daughter with Laura and her father until she can
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return in three months time. Before she leaves, she certainly knows that her
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daughter will not disclose any information whatsoever about her family, past or herself,
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and that Carmela is of sound mind. That's weird, right, that's what
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you do. Right. I'm gonna leave my daughter here. But she won't
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say shit about herself or about me or anyone else in the goddamn family.
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And she is sound in mind, She's probably fine, it was a different
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time, fucking weird, and Laura comments that this information seems needless to say,
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and her father, of course laughs it off like it's a big deal.
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This is sus Red Flag number one. So from there, Carmela and
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Laura grow to be very close friends air quotes, but occasionally Carmela's mood changes
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abruptly changes. She sometimes makes romantic advances towards Laura. Carmela refuses to tell
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her anything about herself, despite questioning being questioned by Laura. Her secrecy is
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not the only mystery about Carmela, though, as we know, she never
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joins the household in her in its prayers. She sleeps much of the day,
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as she seems to air quote sleepwalk outside at night suspicious. Meanwhile,
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young women and girls in the nearby town had begun dying of mysterious circumstances helmets.
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Maybe. When the funeral possession of one such victim passes by the two
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girls, Laura joins in the funeral tim Carmela bursts out and raised and kind
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of just snaps at Laura for it, complaining that the hem hurts her.
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Ears Red Flag number two, I mean those are red flags. This bitch
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is a walking red flag. So from there, when a shipment of restored
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hair looms paintings arrive, Laura finds a portrait of her ancestor mirror. Oh
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god, how you say her name? Your Kela? Mir Kella m I
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R c A La. She's a countess that died back in sixteen ninety eight.
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The portrait resembles Carmela exactly lot to twist down to the mole on her
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fucking neck. At this point, ladies and gentlemen and others, I was
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behooved. I was like, what ew that adds a gross layer to this
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story. It gets crazier. Well, I mean, that's pretty crazy.
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But Carmela then suggests that she might be descendant from this family, the Carstein's
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Karenstein's Carson, Karenstein's car Yeah, Carstine's. Though the family died out centuries
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before her quotes died out, they didn't die out. If you if if
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a light bulb is going on in your head, lays and gents, it's
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yeah, no, yeah, and they they ain't going during again. While
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Carmela is staying with Laura, she has these Laura has these nightmares of a
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large catlike beast entering her room. The beast springs onto the bed and Laura
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feels something two needles an inch or two apart, darting deep into her breast
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because apparently this them likes to suck blood from titties. I was just like
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the breasts. You know, I've heard of a lot of strange things,
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but I never heard of a vampire not going for the neck, but going
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for the breast. Again, a problem out a queen from there. Then
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the beast takes the form of a female figure and disappears through the door without
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opening it, and another nightmare. Laurie hears a voice say, your mother
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warns you to beware of the assassin it has sudden light reveals Carmela standing a
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foot from her bed, her night dress drenched in blood. Laura's health then
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declines majorly, and her father has a doctor examined her. She finds or
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he finds small blue spot, small blue spot an inch or two below her
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color. As we know, we love collar bones. Here you got a
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colorblone that you can just drink soup out of. God, damn it,
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Like God, Laura must have a collarbone like a fucking bowl. Damn ladies
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and gentlemen. There's an inside joe with collarbones here on this podcast. Yeap
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collar bones? Yeah, collar bones. Yes, because Devin and Tiff are
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a bunch of thirsty bitches, that's what you got. We're not thirsty for
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who. We're just saying, we're just acknowledging that bitch, you got a
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collarbone you can drink soup out of. That's harassment commenting on my body like
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that. If I was a woman, that will be canceled. But I'm
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a man and nobody cares. But it's a man and a a non binary
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person telling you this. Yuh. She feel proud of your collarbones. You're
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classical. Well you know I would be if you guys weren't like just overly
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like object we're being overly dramatic about it, you are. And I'm over
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here just like holding my like covering my collarbones, just feeling like a piece
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of meat. God, I have all too fun. We're not serious,
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or I'm not, at least I know you're not. But still I'm just
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over here all like like, oh, clunch my pearls, my collarbones,
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my collarbone. Oh so yeah, she finds they find a blue spot into
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two apart two blue spots on her collarbone, where the creature in her dream
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bitter It speaks privately with her father. Doctor speaks privately with her father only
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asking that Laura never be unattended. Basically, have somebody fucking watch this little
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bit. We gotta figure out what the fuck is going on. So her
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father sends out sets out with Laura in a carriage for a for the ruined
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village of Karenstein. Karenstein, that name, he's very familiar, or it
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should three miles distant. They leave a message behind, asking Carmela and one
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of the governesses to follow once the Once Carmela wakes up from her slumbering during
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the day, en route to said village, Laura and her father encounter a
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encounter the general and he tells them his own ghustly story and this tale of
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tales. It takes me to a costume party, and the general and his
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niece Bertha, had met a very beautiful woman named Neilil Larka mil Arca,
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we'll say that, and her mother, Bertha immediately taking taken by this young
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woman. The mother convinced the general that she was an old friend of his
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and asked that her daughter be allowed to stay with them for three weeks while
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she attended secret matter of great importance. Bertha then fell ill, suffering the
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same symptoms that Laura is currently suffering. After concluding with a specialist, especially
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ordered priest doctor, which that's a thing, a priest and doctor. Wow,
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the two birds on stone. Oh. Now, the general realized that
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Bertha has been visited by a vampire. He hid with a sword and waited
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until a large black creature of undefined shape rolled in to his niece's bed and
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spread itself onto her throat. I love that. I love that language.
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That is it's very fucking just very flowery, very just like, yes,
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queen ware, but you're problematic, bitch. He leaped from his hiding place
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attacked the creature when he had then taken of course, the creature then takes
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the form of the young woman herself. She fled through the locked door through
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a locked door, unharmed. Bertha died before the morning for that morning dawned.
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So basically he's like, I haven't found you, and Carmela is like,
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and then ran through a locked door, and then of course his niece
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died the morning before. Then we jumped. That's the story, but that's
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the story that was told from there. While arriving in the village, the
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General asked a woodenman Woodman where he would find the tomb of the Sir Kala
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Mirkala Karenstein, Karenstein, Karenstein. The woodman says the tomb was relocated long
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ago by a noble who vanguished the vampires haunting the region. While the General
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and Laura are alone in this ruined chapel, Carmela appears. I don't know
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where. The General Carmela both fly into a rage upon seeing each other,
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and General attack her with an axe. Carmelo disarms the General and disappears.
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The General explains that Carmela is the woman that attacked her niece his niece,
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but reveals that Carmela basically Carmela is the same vampire that attacked his niece and
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ship, and she's also the Countess of Karenstein, which is Laura's ancestor.
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There's an ancest going on here, and that's a buffoonery, is it?
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What would really be considered incest though, because at that point you're so far
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removed from each other, it's just like that's that's that's true. That's true,
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because like just because how far how close they are or how far they
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are from each other. Yeah, because like this is this is gonna go
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down a whole another rabbit hole and probably start like all other arguments. But
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like if I were to meet some if I were to meet another person whose
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family name is also Spooner, because that's my that is my family name,
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we probably aren't closely related, Like we may have a common ancestor, but
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aside from that, we aren't closely Lovely, if you met a lovely young
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man that is gorgeous to your eye, and you started to have relations with
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said man, then you found out his last name was Spooner, that you'd
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be okay with that. You wouldn't find it weird. I would find it
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weird. I would immediately ask him, Okay, like we need to find
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the family tree. We need to find the family tree and see how closely
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we are related. If we're not, if we're not closely closely related,
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as in like his grandfather and my grandfather are brothers, then we're gonna just
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stop right there and just hid each other have a good life, because at
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that point we would be second cousins. Yes, and I still I would
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think second cousins are still too closely related to be fucking around. In the
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States, you would not be breaking the law if you marry your second cousin,
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right, But I still think second cousin is still too closely related.
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And then third cousin is like a gray area for me. It's like I
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could maybe be okay with my like if there were, say, if they
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were my if their grandfather was my grandfather's cousin, then you're so far down
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the line I probably wouldn't care because you're not direct direct relation. There's like
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several you're a cousin of a cousin of a cousin, and that that's okay.
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But if you're like, oh, yeah, you're my you're my grandfather,
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your your grandfather is my grandfather's nephew or some shit or brother, and
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we're like second or third cousins, I'm sorry. If you're anything close to
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a cousin and the first three or four, no, no, no,
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I think I'd be I think I would be okay if if we were like
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fourth cousins, Like at that point, I'm just like, okay, I
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don't care anymore. You you're we're wait, we are no longer even related.
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We're just we just we have the same lineage in some way, but
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we're not close enough to relate to where it's weird, right, So like
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and besides, like there are like with my family tree, there are a
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bunch of different branches of us. So like I run into one of them,
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they're probably from another branch. So we're like so far removed. It
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wouldn't matter as long as you're from another branch. Yeah, yeah, you're
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from the same branch. That gets where gets questionable? See my family tree
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isn't see my branch isn't even the branch that settled in Salem. Yeah,
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my branch was the first, was the first branch to settle in the United
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States. So yeah, I have no idea where then is I can see,
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I can't go to Ireland my last name. I can't go to Ireland
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and fuck around because I might actually find a relation over there because my family
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I'm only like third, third or fourth, so I still would technically have
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some very some family over there. Totally speaking, I think I'm third generation
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on my dad's side. So if I go to Ireland or Scotland, well
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Ireland, I go to Ireland because I'm gonna I have a good chance of
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coming across some relatives that are still kind of closely related. Yeah, I'm
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like, no, I can't be gay in Ireland if I'm single. I'm
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not single, but if I were, I can't go over there and fuck
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around. So my fuck around find out Oh wow, you're my cousin.
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Oh well, let me just pack up my shit. It's great time seeing
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you. Buy so fact, I am descended from so like the first two
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Spooners to settle in the United States. I mentioned because they're brothers, and
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they were brothers and they came to the United States at the same time.
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Uh, Thomas and William Spooner. I am descended from William. They settled
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in Plymouth, Massachusetts in sixteen twenty three, and I'm and I am their
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direct descendant. And then there's another Thomas Spooner who arrived like ten years later,
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and he settled in Salem, Massachusetts, and who the terrible place to
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settle Yeah, so they're yeah, so there are probably witches in my family
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tree. They may even still be hanging there. Damn, damn. Wow
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one upon ha haha, ha haha, Wow, you were sitting on that
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pide weren't ja. I've used it many times and I love it. Well,
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then maybe you should if you identify as a witch. I'm sorry,
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don't cancel me. We need to go. I want to go to Salem.
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I would have gone sail so bad. See I joke about that.
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But I also probably do have real witches in my family tree because on my
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mom's side. Oh, I'm sure from the story as I've heard, Oh,
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I am most definitely sure. Mm hmm. But Gorilla. Back to
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the story, Laura as a descendant of Carmela. The party is then joined.
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The group is then joined by Baron boord Edinburgh Bordenberg, the descendant of
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the hero who rid the area of vampires. Long long ago. Wordenberg,
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an authority on vampires, had discovered that his ancestor was romantically involved with Carmela.
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At twist, I was like, oh shit, she had that man
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goddamn. Using his father's for uh, using his father's name. In the
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notes forefather's notes, he locates Carmela's hintomb An Imperial commission exsumes the body of
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this woman and immersed in blood. It seems to be uh A. She
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seems to be breathing faintly. It's hearts beating, it's its eyes open.
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A steak is driven through its heart and gives a compelling shriek, and then
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the head is struck off. The body and the head are burned to ashes
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which are thrown into the river. Or this is Carmela's body. She gets
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steaked and her head chopped off and her ashes to the river, I guess.
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Afterward, Laura's father takes his daughter on a long tour through Italy as
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she regains her health and recovers from said trauma, but she never does.
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She still feels In the story, he talks about how she still feels like
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Carmela is still around her, haunting her at night, like I think there
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was one thing in the book that talks about at the very end where she
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feels like she's laying in bed at night and she could feel like she could
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hear Carmela's footsteps above her or at the foot of her bed. Carmela hunts
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her even in the afterlife. And that is the story of Carmela the Lesbian
33:49
problematic Icon. I knew this book was crazy, but boy, it was
33:57
a ride. It was a ride. It was a ride. Now,
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the movie itself. It was kind of similar. But yeah, so think
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about the movie. It wasn't even it wasn't even about vampires, at least
34:22
the one we watched, and that was this not not not directly, yeah,
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not directly. Yeah, yeah, they hint they beat around the bush
34:32
with the issue. Yeah, with her Carmela itself anyway, and that's about
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it. But it was full on lesbians. Like those two girls like were
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definitely like they were lesbians in love. They were lesbians. Yeah, there
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was no mention of the whole titty sucking thing. No, there was no
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mention of her at six years old with that or the how there was no
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Carmela was weird in the movie, but she wasn't like, oh my god,
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vampire weird. Like she'd bright red hair, which I think if I
35:08
remember Kirk, I think in the actual story she does have red hair.
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But Carmela in the movie she sleeps at odd hour. She's very weird.
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She kind of just lingers around Laura, and they do have a romantic romantics
35:27
happened between them, but it almost seems like it's predator getting her prey.
35:32
So they kind of hints that there's vampiresm going on, like there's a whole
35:37
blood thing that they do with getting blood and rubbing it on their lips and
35:42
then kissing each other and shit. But they never straight out say she's a
35:45
vampire. She's just weird, and it seems to mean more about the lesbianism
35:52
of it all rather than the vampirism of it all. Yeah, they she
36:00
does. They do like she does get sick, Like there is like a
36:05
bunch of girls going getting sick, and so is Laura, and they think
36:09
it has something to do with Carmela. Although the thing is is that like
36:15
since there was no actual vampiism going on in this, it's it was more
36:20
like coming down to their superstition and like paranoia, so wasn't Actually they had
36:30
like a Salem Witchcraft trial moment where they're blaming Carmela for it all when reality
36:36
you might not have anything to do with that at all, because it didn't
36:38
really indicate that she did all this. She would wander around at night and
36:44
shit, and she would do weird shit. But they never the movie never
36:46
straight out showed the viewer her really doing anything outright, like that kind of
36:52
just hinted that well not yeah, yeah, and I think it just came
37:01
down to religious paranoia. Like I said, Also, I think the governess
37:07
herself didn't like that Carmela wasn't conforming to her strict household rules and shit like
37:15
that, like praying when they're supposed to pray, you know, not wandering
37:20
in the halls, not doing all like rules that she set up for Laura
37:24
that she put in place for Laura, Like Carmela wouldn't follow them or would
37:29
just kind of like brush them off or laugh them off, or if she
37:31
scenes where she was just like kind of like do it, but in a
37:36
mocking way. Yeah. And there was only one governess, not two in
37:43
the movie. The Madame was the only one they had. Yeah. Yeah.
37:51
And in the end, like the two like they were going to I
37:57
don't, I don't I think they were gonna either kill Carmeller something. They
38:00
took her, they took her away, and uh, Laura freaked out and
38:05
there was a bit of a scuffle and then Laura and Carmela both ended up
38:08
running from the house and they it doesn't really say how long the two of
38:15
them were away, like running running about, but they were like they did
38:22
end up spending the night out in the will out in the wilderness and they
38:25
were both asleep when the governess and her ah had a bunch of the like
38:32
the governess, the father, and I think there was like a I guess
38:37
like a hat like one of the like gardeners or like landscapers or something was
38:43
there with them and they were they buying Carmela. Carmela and Laura just asleep
38:50
in one of the pastures, and they grabbed Carmela and they stayed her.
38:54
Yeah, they shoved stick through her heart while Laura watched, and like I
39:06
said, there was no like actual vampireson going around. It was just paranoia.
39:13
They they they just saw Carmela as a very strange girl, and they
39:16
thought she was probably like consorting with with devils and trying to turn an innocent
39:22
girl, and they just they fucking kill her, and Laura's distraught. Cordlin's
39:31
just the movie ends with her crying. Yeah, Caa, Yeah, it
39:39
was really sad because I'm pretty sure that like stuff like that happened a lot.
39:45
Yeah, so, uh, it wasn't okay. The movie was okay.
39:51
I was a little spunny because I was expecting, like I was expecting
39:53
fucking vampires. I want the fucking vampire lesbian queen that is Carmela. And
40:00
we just got a depressing lesbian story of somebody killing a woman because she's ginger
40:07
and a little weird and a lesbian. She was probably left handed too,
40:13
which is also as a ginger and a gay. I was not happy.
40:21
I was like, how dare you? How dare you? How dare No,
40:25
that's ginger's back back. Then that's devil's that's devil's color. Y'all saint
40:30
worshiping, y'all touched by the devil. You know what you know, it's
40:35
also devilry. Gossiping adult adultree, Oh my god, gossiping. We don't
40:44
marrying your first cousin, having children on wedlock, having premarital sex, mm
40:52
hmm, taking dirty thoughts. Yeah, look at that British culture and oh
41:00
damn, damn, damn, don't drop that truth. And wow, we'll
41:08
say cool. That's cool about this book though, is that normally they talk
41:12
about vampires turning into wolves. That seems to be the motif for the form
41:16
they usually take. Now, Carmela takes form of a cat a pussy,
41:24
which probably goes back to Yeah, it probably goes back to like how wolves
41:31
are often associated with the masculine and cats are feminine. I love that.
41:37
It's so good. I think that's I like that differation between the wolf and
41:45
because I'm sure if I was been, if that was been right in Dracula.
41:50
But oh, wow, a cat, because I'm sure he took inspiration
41:53
from Carmela. Of course I'm sure he did. And he was like wow,
41:57
his little his little closet, gay ass. It's like, wow,
42:00
she's serving cat. Cool. I'm gonna have mine serve wolf a wolf.
42:07
And there we are, a a wolf, not me ow. And now
42:15
I have to implement vampires in my D and D game that turned into cats
42:21
or wolves, depending on their male or female. Now I gotta do that.
42:23
It's it's now gonna be a thing. Vampires are shape shifters, so
42:29
honestly, they can shape shift into whatever they want. And that's true because
42:32
you never see too much of that anymore. Really, you just see them
42:36
transform into the only things that I've seen a vampire turn into is a bat,
42:39
a bunch of bats, a wolf, or in this case now a
42:44
cat, a very large panther, cougar, mountain lion situation, which is
42:53
the problem with vampires in today's modern day is that they are so overused that
43:00
like everyone is trying to come up with something new for vampires, and like
43:06
then you get you get bullshit like Twilight, you get ship like the Vampire's
43:12
Assistant. You got Underworld, which honestly I love Underworld vampires, vampires and
43:19
worlds from Underworld art. I love them. Yes, And then you know
43:25
you and then also you got vampires from like franchises that don't really portray vampires
43:34
in a way that I've been portrayed before, like in the Strain, The
43:37
Strain, the vampires are created from fucking parasitic worms. Yeah, I do
43:45
fetch you watch that show. That show was good. That was all right,
43:51
But yeah, so that was Carmela. There are other Carmela movies.
43:59
We just like we were looking for one and we saw that, oh hey
44:04
there's one shutter, let's watch that one. This one looked the best,
44:07
like good because what we're looking for in a way, it was it just
44:14
went about the whole oh religious paranoia than an actual vampire, which I mean,
44:20
it was all right, It was okay, it was a decent movie.
44:23
It just wasn't what we were hoping. Well, we're phrasing. It
44:27
wasn't what I was hoping. I want the dramatics, it wasn'tics. Yeah,
44:34
yeah, just a sad lesbian story. Yeah, I get, like,
44:39
what did the lesbians do to you? Exactly? Lesbians are legends,
44:46
Like what I mean, it's typical for her to be a sad gay romance.
44:52
But now said lesbian romance. Jesus God, the the buffoonery. Yes,
45:00
that was Carmela. So go read it. I'm sure you can find
45:04
it. It's easy to find, just like Dracula was. You can literally
45:07
walk into any bookstore, look on the vampire, look on the shelfle of
45:10
vampires or horror novels, literature, and you will find it. Bars Noble
45:16
has both. You want the car because bart Noble has a nice hardcover of
45:22
Carmela that I want. But it's like twenty bucks. It's like, when
45:27
I get that money, I'm going to add you to my collection. See,
45:31
I am trying not to buy any more books because I have a bunch
45:35
of books that I bought that I never read, and now I gotta read
45:37
them. I mean same, never read this one. Actually finding collection.
45:44
Yeah, but the act of buying books, it's just the dopamine rush.
45:47
You need it is. It's just such, it's so satisfying. I just
45:54
have a new book in your hand, Like, I can't wait to read
45:58
this to years later. I still need to read this. Five years later,
46:04
I'm finally reading this shit. I'm reading storm Front, the first book
46:13
of the Dresden Files. Oh, like, I don't wanted to read this
46:17
because it's the Macab meets like it's basically like supernatural, but it's centered around
46:25
a wizard named Harry Dresden ooh and fun. Yeah, So I'm reading it
46:34
and it's very macab. He's basically a wizard pi oh. He investigates paranormal
46:43
occurrences. And now I'm reading this, I'm just like, Okay, it's
46:52
different. It's different from what I'm used to reading because it's not like flashy
46:58
magic, at least none that I've seen so far. But I think it's
47:01
building up to that. Yeah, and I just can't wait. I'm already
47:10
I am almost halfway through the book. It's not a big book. It's
47:13
only like two three hundred and eight pages long. Wor idly finished another book
47:24
by a certain man that has the word king in his name, which now
47:29
I think I can actually go back and finish this since I've been caught up
47:32
with this. Yeah, have you not finished? I have not finished yet.
47:39
I haven't had time to read because they're reading Carmela and then other stuff
47:43
get ready for other episodes. So now I can actually be like, okay,
47:46
cool, Now my time goes to this. So the next week you
47:52
plan on, we're not doing We're not doing it. Next week we'll have
47:55
to. We'll have to pick something else. You'll the y'all the like a
48:00
book from your repertoire, give me, give me, give me a week
48:02
or two. So not this week, not this next week, but the
48:06
week after, we'll do it. If we do fairy Tale, it's just
48:12
it's not gonna be but we're not gonna be doing anything like with the movie.
48:15
It's just gonna be about the book because fairy Tale is still really new
48:19
and it has not been adapted into into a movie yet. But this is
48:22
by far, I gotta say, this is by far my favorite Stephen King
48:27
book. Yes, I love it. I was reading it because like other
48:32
Stephen King books, yeah, I get pretty hooked, Like I can get
48:36
pretty hooked into it, right, like some of them have been are like
48:40
more compelling reads than others, right, Yeah, with this one, I
48:46
was reading it and I was like a lot more. It was one of
48:50
those books that made me like keep turning the pages, like I want to
48:53
keep reading. Yeah, because yeah, I need to do both of the
48:59
ship. It's gonna be done before we record it, as need give me
49:04
a week, not this next Sunday, not a week from today, but
49:07
two weeks from today, and we'll do an episode for eight time. Mark
49:13
my words, Ladies and Jens, because I haven't got nothing else to read,
49:15
so now I'm reading that. All my time has spent on that.
49:20
Anyway, Thank you guys for listening today's episode on Carmela. Catch us next
49:23
time as we finish out the month of October with the episode for when's this
49:30
episode come out? When's this episodes? Pulp the calendar. This episode will
49:34
be out on the twenty six, a couple of days for Halloween. What
49:39
are we doing? We're going back to comic books or I'm gonna I'm taking
49:45
I'm taking I'm taking you all back to the world of comic books, to
49:49
the X Men and there's uh, we're gonna be talking about some vampire hunters
49:55
and said x men or ideals of vampires, the exterminators. Until then catch
50:05
all on the flip side. Keeybye bye