Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Stop wasting your potential and become a person who gets things done

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Stop wasting your potential and become a person who gets things done · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hello beautiful beans and welcome to the podcast episode of today.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: My name is Alexis Fernandez and this is Do You
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Fucking Mind? This is the podcast where I help you
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: change your relationship with your brain and with yourself. And
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: on this episode, we're going to be talking about how
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: you can really stop wasting your potential and become a
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: person who actually gets things done, who actually follows through. So,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: so often we focus on our potential. But if you
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: focus too heavily on your potential, we sit in this
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: position where there's all these avenues that we could go down.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: But the fear of closing off all these particular doors
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: in order to pursue an avenue makes people kind of
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: stuck in this quote unquote potential. But unrealized potential gets
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you absolutely nowhere. A lot of people feel safe in
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: this thing of sitting here being like, I could do that.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I could do that. I could do all these things.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: But then they never really pick one thing And by
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: choosing that one avenue and choosing that one path, of course,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: by default, you have to close off other paths. But
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: then you become someone who follows through. I think people
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: are worried to be like, well, if I really commit
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: to this, it means I'm saying no to all these things.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Another thing that I'm going to be discussing in this
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: episode is how to be that person that actually does
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: something with their life, with the resources that you currently have.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: There are so many untapped resources that you have right
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: now before having to go off and get that thing
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: or become even more qualified or have more equipment to
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: be able to do this, that you could use in
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: your favor to push you further along. That's another lie
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: that we tell ourselves. So I'm going to be talking
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: about all these different things. And by the end of
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: this episode, I feel like you're going to be hopefully
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: feeling very empowered, being like, wow, with the stuff I
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: have right now, without spending a dollar more, I could
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: probably increase my ability to follow through and actually tap
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: into my potential instead of sitting in this untapped potential.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to be able to do something more
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: with my life. I'm going to feel like I have
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: control and I can take the reins and do something.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: So that's what we're going to be talking about in
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: today's episode. Now, life update. My life update is that
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: by the time this episode comes out, it is the twins'
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: first birthday, the 1st of September, which is insane. I
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: cannot fathom, like they were born three weeks ago. How
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: are they turning one? I just don't understand. I was
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: swaddling them. Now it's like a battle. It is a
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: battle to the end of the earth to change a nappy,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: and there's two that I have to change. So it's
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: like they're stronger than me, and they won. I can't
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: believe they won. It's just crazy. It's been the fastest
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: year of my life, the most exciting year of my life.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: It's everything about it. I'm just so fucking grateful. And
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: another thing that I'm so grateful for, other than the
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: fact that the twins are just incredible, is that it's
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: really allowed me to realise this, you know, when people
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: talk about the village, it's really allowed me to realise
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: the village that I have. You know, my family, obviously
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: my partner, but I don't think the partner technically makes
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: up part of the village. I think that should be
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: that both parents are parenting. But then it's the circles
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: around you. Like my friends, I'm so lucky and fortunate
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: and I remind myself of this literally daily. I say, oh,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: how lucky is it that we're there? You know, I'm
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: very aware of how fortunate we really are that we
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: live in such close proximity to our best friends who
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: also are going through the same journey in life at
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: the same time. That's so unique and so fucking special
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: and I never take it for granted. I think I
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: tell Tyrone almost every day how fortunate we are that
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: this is the era that we're going through life in.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: in and the fact that I can have Liv, my
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: best friend, seven minutes walk away and she's got a
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: two-year-old son and I've got Ebony literally another seven minutes
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: walk two blocks away from Liv who's got her kid
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: and then Lizzie who's about to have her baby. Like it, yeah,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I'm just, yeah, the last year has made me probably
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: the most grateful I've ever been having the kids. I've been,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I've never been more present ever than I have now.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: in this time. I think becoming a parent has made
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: me so present because I'm so aware of how fleeting
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: and quick each stage of their life is. So I'm very, yeah,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I just feel really, really, really grateful and fortunate. And
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: this year has played out better than I could have
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: ever imagined because of, you know, being a parent has
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: been so much more fun than I thought. And like
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: when I fell pregnant, especially with twins, I was very
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: prepared for how much hard work it was going to be.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I didn't know exactly what it would look like. but
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I had prepped myself. I wasn't saying, oh, my life's
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: not going to change this and that. I was like,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: things are going to change this and that. Get yourself
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: fucking ready, like be in the zone. I'm going to
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: be in the zone. But because I spent so much
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: time prepping for like, yep, okay, like knuckle down, it's
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: going to be really tough. I didn't spend much time
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: prepping for how much fun I was going to have.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: And one thing that, you know, I've probably said it before,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: how infuriating it is when people say, oh, you wait
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: for this and you wait for that. And they try
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: and like prep you for misery as if people don't
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: know that their life is going to change when they
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: have a child. You'd have to be a fuckwit to
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: not realize that your life is going to change when
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you have a child. If you didn't want your life
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: to change, you wouldn't have a child. Right. So it
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: pisses me off when people do the, you just wait.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: But one thing that I will say is you just
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: fucking wait for the amount of laughter and joy. And
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: it's just honestly, yeah, I never realized how much fun
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I would have. It has just been just a joy.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: So obviously a lot of work having twins is no
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: fucking joke. Um, But alongside all that work and effort,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: it's just been beautiful. So, yeah, happy birthday to Cruz
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: and Santiago. Honestly, they've given me the best year of
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: my life. So very grateful. Okay, now, recommendation? Do I
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: have a recommendation? Listen, I didn't write it down, unfortunately,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: but if it dawns on me, then I will tell you. Oh,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I have a fucking recommendation. If you live in Sydney,
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: King of Pickles. Is that what it's called? King of Pickles?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: In Fairfield. That's where Tyrone's going, I think today to
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: pick up all the stuff for like, yeah. And you
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: can buy like olives and pickles by the kilo. It
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: is the most iconic shop ever. So if you live
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: in Sydney, if you're near Fairfield, we're not near Fairfield,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: but we go to Fairfield and it's called King of Pickles.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: It's just iconic. Okay. I need to have like a
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: long-term partnership with that business just so I can get
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: free olives. Anyway, Um, cool beans, let's start with the
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: episode of today. So firstly, I'm going to go through
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: many points. Get your pen and paper and get mentally
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: fucking prepped like I did before having the twins. This
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: is you before this episode, okay? There is a massive
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: difference between what you are capable of doing and what
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: you are actually going to do and do consistently. Huge difference.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Because when we talk about, oh, I could do this,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you could do many things. That's the beauty of free will, right?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: So if you think of, I could stop everything right
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: now and decide, fuck my career, if you had the
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: financial means to do so, and I'm going to become
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: an architect or an engineer or whatever. I'm going to
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: go back to study or I'm just going to move
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: or I'm going to this. You could do many things.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: But it's not about what you could do. This is
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: where we really get caught up because sometimes it feels
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: quite liberating to focus on, oh, I could, I could,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I could, I could, I could have done that. I
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: could do that. I could have also done that same
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: business as you. I could have, I could, could, could, could,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: but you didn't. You fucking didn't. Okay. So big difference
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: between that and what you actually do and what you
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: do consistently. It's not what you did that one time.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: It's what you do that shows follow through. If you
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: get it all G'd up and say, I'm going to
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: become a runner and then you go for one run.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And then you're so proud of yourself. I've done this
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: one run. Good on you. But it's about how many
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: runs are you going for and how consistently before you
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: can start to be like, I've built this into my character.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: This is now who I am. Not to say don't
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: be proud if you're going for your first run. Of
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: course you should. But like some people focus so heavily
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: on that and then it's been a month before they
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: go for the next run. It's all about showing up
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: again and again. It's about this follow through. And most
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: of us don't need more knowledge, more resources, more more motivation,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: more potential. It's just about making better use of the
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: abilities and the resources that you have available to you
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: right now. You could probably be 50% for some of you, 200%
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: better in the sense of what your output is in
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: just a couple of months with the resources that you
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: already have, okay? That's what's very, very, very exciting. So
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: we're talking about what you're going to action. So number one,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: big number one on your fucking notebook, one dot, write
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: this down. I want you to make an inventory of
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: what it is that you are already capable of doing.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: How much is already available with you within your grasp? Okay. So,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: and like I say, a lot of my advice that
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I give you, I try and make it so that
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: you're able to implement most of it within reason. I
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: try not to make it of like, go and buy
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: this fucking expensive thing and then you'll be able to
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: do this. I try and whenever possible, obviously there's going
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: to be exceptions to what I say, but I try
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: and make it as all encompassing as possible. So you
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: can start to take action as soon as possible. So
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: ask yourself, what are things that I'm physically capable of
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: doing right now? You don't have to be able to
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: run a marathon, but you're physically capable of possibly, I
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: don't know, but maybe putting on your sneakers and workout
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: outfit and going for a short jog. You're physically capable
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: of whatever the fuck it is, okay? Cooking, moving around
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: the house. What is it that you are physically capable
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: of doing right now? Then what are you mentally capable
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: of doing? Everyone's got their own unique set of skills mentally.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Maybe your focus is unrivaled. Maybe you're so creative and
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: you are never short of ideas to get something done.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe you are hyper-organized and you are more organized than
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: anyone else you know and that is your golden ticket
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: to getting things done, right? What is it? that you
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: are mentally capable of, that you know I could do that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: And then it doesn't even have to be a crazy skill,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: but something that you're like, I know for a fact
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: that if I actually did this a bit more, that
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: skill would increase easily, okay? What skills... do you already possess?
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: So this isn't something that like time isn't a skill,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: for example. So you could possess time. Like, oh, I
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: actually have a lot of free time on my hands.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And that's, you know, an advantage that I have that
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: maybe other people don't. But we're talking about a skill.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: What's something that you've already built up in your life
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: that you already have? So maybe you've already gotten that degree.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're really good at doing a certain thing because
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: you've practiced for it or you've trained for it. Maybe
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: it could be hobby wise or it could be career related,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: whatever it is. What is a skill that you've already
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: honed in on? You've already earned. Even if you don't
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: think it's relevant, Write it down. How much time do
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: you actually have available to do certain things? So back
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: to the running example, do you actually have time to
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: be a marathon runner? If there's no way in hell
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: that you could carve out time to run a marathon
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and no matter how you look at your timetable again
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: and again and again, no matter what you do, it's
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: not possible, then that's just a job, a dream that
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: you've got to completely discard. If you can't have the
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: time allocated to it, let's pick another thing, okay? So
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: how much time do you genuinely have available? Are you
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: someone that is bad with time management, that you could
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: probably get those 10 things done in one hour, but
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: because you dawdle so much in between, it takes you
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: three hours? Are you someone that has a really bad
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: problem with focus? And you're like, if I was just
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: better at zoning in and focusing, I would probably have
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: extra hours. Maybe you waste a lot of time doing shit.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Maybe you doom scroll a lot. Maybe there's a lot
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: of pockets of time in your day that you're like,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: if I tightened this up, I would have hours remaining
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: to actually, you know, put towards doing something. What could
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: you create with your current level of creativity or knowledge?
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: What relationships or opportunities or networks already exist around you?
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: And I'm not necessarily talking about this person can give
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: me that job, but where can you learn from? Maybe
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: you could say, you know, my friend is very skilled
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: at this. And they've always been very generous with their knowledge.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I could learn from them. That's a resource that I have.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Like this good friend of mine who's always willing to
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: help me out, that's an untapped resource. Maybe you want
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: to learn a language. Like I'm a prime example. I
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: really want to practice French. I know French people. And
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: to this day, I'm like, oh, God, like my French
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: is just so rusty. My comprehension, I bang on about this.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: My comprehension is great, but my speaking, I'm the prime
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: example of what we're talking about in today's episode. And
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I really need to take a leaf out of my
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: own book or whatever the saying is. But then I
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: won't reach out to these people that speak fluent French
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: and say, do you mind maybe even once a month,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: could we just speak for 30 minutes in French? That's
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: a fucking untapped resource that I could be leaning into.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: And I'll say, and I'll, you know, and if they're
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: a friend, they're more than happy to do it, right?
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: And then what habits do you already know how to perform,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: but simply just don't do it consistently, but you could,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: and you already know how to do it. right? Maybe
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: you actually enjoy meditating, but you just don't carve out
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: enough time every day. Maybe you actually, like whatever the
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: fuck it is, it's something that you're already physically capable
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: of doing. You know how to do it. You don't
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: mind doing it, but it's just not done consistently. And
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: if you did it consistently, you'd be like, wow, that
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: would improve my life, my quality of life significantly if
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I was to do that constantly, okay? Then, I would
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: like you to do a list of things that you
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: would like to achieve in your life or make part
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: of your everyday life. And then next to it, add
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: something that you can already be doing with the skills
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: or resources or time that you already have. Okay. So
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: this is a behavior that you can perform. So again,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: if you say, I want to become a runner, the
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: thing you're going to do is just go for a
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: short run. I don't have to like already carve out,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I'm a marathon runner, whatever. It's like, I'm physically capable
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: of running. If I want to write a book, It's like, okay, well,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: the thought of writing a book is a huge mountain,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: but what could I actually do if I wanted to
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: be a writer? I could write for 10 minutes, three
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: times a week. Any of us could write for 10,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: even if it's fucking trash, the output, you could write,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: could be garbage, but it's possible for you to write
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: for 10 minutes, three times a week, 30 minutes, three
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: times a week, 30 minutes every day, if it's a
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: diehard passion of yours and you want to do it. Okay.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: instead of saying, I want to build a successful business,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: you could say, I could work on a business idea
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: for one hour, twice a week. Okay. And I carve
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: out that time as if it's part of my job.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: And I sit down, I start fleshing out ideas. I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: start putting things into practice. I start contacting people or
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: looking up how to like register a business. But in
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: those pockets of time, that's when I'm working on it.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes when we talk about, oh, I really want
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: to have this business, whatever, we wait for this idea
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: to come into our heads and And then everything just
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: unfolds magically. It takes you sitting down and leaning into
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: that creative side and leaning into your brainstorming and your
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: ability to generate ideas. And then when you have a
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: semi-good enough idea, it takes leaning into that and saying,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: is this actually something I could flesh out? Or is
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: it just an idea, but realistically it can't actually happen? Okay.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Then the other one is not, I'm going to be
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: the most shredded I've ever been. It's how much time
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: realistically can I put aside each week to exercise or
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to cook food that will get me closer to my goals? Okay.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Another one, be super organized. You could instead, you're going
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: to write next to be super organized. You're going to
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: write next to it, dedicate 15 minutes a day to
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: an organizational task, 10 minutes a day to an organizational task.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: So everything that you want to become in your life
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: in this dream list, next to it, put a behavior
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: that you're already capable of doing. Number two, this is
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: a huge one. Stop getting excited over soft action. Let
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: me elaborate. I have a whole episode on soft action
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: versus hard action. And very quickly to summarize, soft action
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: is the action that we have no problem doing. It's exciting.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: This is the vision board on Pinterest. This is the brainstorming.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: This is the... Like for example, if I'm going to
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: do an hour of soft action for my podcast, it
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: would be me just brainstorming topic ideas. I don't even
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: have to do the research. I don't have to flesh
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: out concepts and whatever. It's just ideas. I could do
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: an episode on this, that. Within a 20 minute timeframe,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I could come up with endless episode titles. Okay. That's
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: soft action. Another soft action is thinking, oh, branding wise,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: how could I like start Editing the branding look of
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: my podcast. Let's say I wanted to change my podcast
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: artwork or whatever. I could go in and look at
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: like a vision board and this and that. That's all
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: soft action. Soft action is important, by the way. It's
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: what gives us inspiration. It's what feeds into our creativity.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: It's what keeps us excited and passionate about what we
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: are doing. Soft action is the nice, gentle side of
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: when you're getting towards a goal. It could also be,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: let's say you want to start exercising and you just
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: fucking hate it. Soft action would be, and you love
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: shopping and fashion. So soft action would be, I'm going
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: to buy a really nice outfit because you want to
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: do it. It takes zero effort to get up and
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: go to the shops because it's something you already like
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: to do. And then you're trying on things and I
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: really liked it. That's soft action. Booking a class, all
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: these things, soft action. Okay. When it comes to starting
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: a business, the soft action is, oh my God, I
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: just came up with the best idea and this and that.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: It's the safe space where you are not facing fear,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: facing the possibility of failure, facing a lot of effort, grit,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: the need for drive. Soft action is where motivation lives
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: because it's easy to feel motivated. Okay. Now this is
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: those people, you know, those people that will start something
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: And then being like, oh, fuck this. And then they
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: start something new. Oh, fuck it. They're the people that
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: start a million things and then they quit a million things.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: And they're like, why am I like this? It's because
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: they really haven't grasped the need for a combination of
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: soft and hard action. This is massive when it comes
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: to starting a business, when people want to start a
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: creative idea or a creative business. They sit in this
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: soft action for so long and they get so excited
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: with all these things, but they don't really imagine themselves
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: doing the hard action. Think about all the really difficult
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: things to get this thing off the ground. Think about
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: the emotions that I feel when I launched this business
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: and it might not take off immediately. And then I
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: have to grapple with those feelings of, am I a failure?
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Am I not? Does it just take a bit more
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: like pushing all that? That's all part of the hard action,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: but we don't focus on that. So if you're going
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: to start doing things with your life that are different
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: to what you're doing now, you have to really think,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: If I'm going to get excited about the soft action,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I need equal amount of hard action to follow. If
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not willing to do the hard action, I'm not
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: going to waste time on the soft action. Okay? Soft
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: action is the reward if I'm willing to do the
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: hard action. Back to me as the example, if we're
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: talking about the podcasting, the hard action is I now
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: need to flesh out these episodes. And mind you, when
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I do episode brainstorms for topics of episodes, I have
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: to discard at least 60% to 70% of the title episodes.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: options that I put down for myself because I can't
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: flesh out a full episode. The concept sounds great, but
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: when I sit down to flesh it out, I'm like,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: this is not going anywhere. And there are times where
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I've tried to flesh it out and try to, and
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: then I've recorded the episode and I've not loved it.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: And I've still put it out there, but I'm like,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I know that's not as good as other work that
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I've done. Okay. The hard action comes from discarding things
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: that you thought were a good idea from actually sitting
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: down and fleshing it out. How can I, add concepts
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: to this and find research or find fucking dot points
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: that I could give to my audience that would actually
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: be usable for them, right? That's the hard action. And
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: then of course, recording is the hard action. All that
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff, hard action. When you're talking about exercising,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: physically fucking doing the workout, that's the hard action. Waking
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: up at 5am if that's the only time you can exercise,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: that's the hard action. It's all the hard shit, okay?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: So I want you to really think, if I'm willing
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: to do this thing, it has to be the hard
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: action that I'm willing to do. It's not the soft action.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Anyone can easily do the soft action. That feels nice. Okay.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: So before trying to be, another thing is before trying
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: to become more capable, I want you to ask yourself,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: am I even using my current capabilities? Then build on that.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: This is, again, when I talk about soft action, whatever,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: sometimes we get annoyed at where we are and be like, oh,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I just want change. I just want change. And instead
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: of doing the hard work of like, right, what do
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I have already within me to make this change? It's boring,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: to be honest. It's not really that exciting because you
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: already know it. It's nothing novel. It's nothing new. Now
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I've got to do something out of what I've already got.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: It's boring. So a lot of people are like, you
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: know what? I'm going to buy a new laptop. You
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: know what? I'm going to go and buy that new camera.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: And mind you, I've done this a thousand times. I
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: know exactly how it feels. That's why I'm talking about it.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I think that when I buy that new thing or
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: when I buy, and at times you actually do need
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: these tools. There are times where like you've earned getting
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: that tool and I'm so no shade on that. But
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: then you think, you know what, before I do anything,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do that short course. <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: That's all well and good. But if who you are
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: doesn't change, Prior to buying that camera or after buying
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: the camera or the new laptop or the little course
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: or this or that or that, you're ultimately just sitting
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: in that soft action being like, well, the reason I
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: haven't really made major changes because I actually needed these
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: tools or I actually needed. that course or this or that.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Do you though? And some of you might say, no, Alexis,
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I actually fucking do. And in which case, great, as
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: long as you've looked at it. But a lot of
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: the time, that's part of soft action in us. It's like, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I'll just do this first and do this first. And
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I'll set up that perfect scenery. You don't need $ 10, 000
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: worth of camera equipment and all of that to launch
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: a podcast. You can just do a video-less podcast, sitting
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: on your bed, recording it. Okay. So for me, when
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I launched the podcast, it was with a $ 90 mic
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: or $ 99 mic, plugged into a seven-year-old MacBook, okay? It
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: can be done. It's just you've got to start somewhere.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: You've got to look at the resources that you already
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: have and then build on it. I actually think that
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: motivation comes once you're starting to take action. So look
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: at what you have now and say, am I maximizing?
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: everything that is currently within my grasp, because I can
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: guarantee you 99% of you are not. You have a
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: lot of tools that you could be using, but you're like, no,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I need that shiny, beautiful thing over there, which is
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: going to prolong when I actually have to take action.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: But I've got an excuse as to why I haven't
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: taken that action. Okay. Now, number three, I want you
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: to compare your capable life, what you're capable of doing
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: with your actual life. If I maximize the resources that
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I have, what would my life look like? Okay. So
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: like I said, We make all these excuses as to why,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, I'm going to need this thing.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I've got to do all of that that I just
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: mentioned in the last post, in the last point. But
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: if I really maximized my current resources, just indulge me
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: and yourself, what could your life look like with your
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: current schedule, with the way your job is right now,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: with your current income, your current set of skills, current responsibilities, resources,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: all of that, what could it look like? Let's say
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I became much better at time management. Let's say I
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: actually started going and doing that thing that I said
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I was going to do that doesn't actually cost money.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Let's say I hypothetically, with everything I currently have right now,
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I made all these little tiny changes. What would that look,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: what would that mean for my life? Get creative. I
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: want you to really flesh it out. Put yourself in
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: the shoes of you in six months time, imagine that
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you had actually done all this stuff. You didn't buy
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: anything new. You didn't do anything else. Okay. And so
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: things to help you flesh out that character of what
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: you could actually look like, the you of this ideal you.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Another thing you could say is what could I realistically
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: be doing that I'm not already doing? So imagine that procrastination,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: avoidance behaviors were reduced, distractions were gone. What time would
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning? And again, you don't
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: have to be an early riser, but like ideally you
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: want like a set time to wake up. That's the
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: same every morning. So your morning is more predictable. So
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: you don't have to make all these decisions that then
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: like clog up your morning. So whether that be 8am
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: or 5am, it doesn't matter. But what time would you
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: wake up? How would you use your mornings in the
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: ideal world? In an ideal world, how would you use
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: your mornings? What would you spend less time doing? What
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: would you spend more time doing? What would you actually
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: get finished if you were maximizing your resources? What would
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: your health look like? What would your sleep look like?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: What would your work output look like? What would your
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: hobbies look like if you had any? And if you did,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: what would you be doing? And how would that then
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: make you feel? What would your relationships look like? So
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: how much time would you be able to spend with friends?
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Or maybe you'd carve out one hour of really good
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: quality time every day with your partner or half an hour,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: whatever it is. And what would rest look like for you?
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: when you really are resting, when you're not like thinking, oh,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do a little bit like actual rest,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: what would downtime really look like for you? So this
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: gives you a very realistic idea of the upper limit
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of your capabilities with the resources that you already have. Okay.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Instead of fast, if like fantasizing about all these things, oh,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: but if I had this, and then if I had that, no,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: let's just look at what we've got right now. With
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: what I've got in the perfect world, if I was
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: to follow through with everything, what could my life look
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: like right now? You, hopefully, most of you can already
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: start getting excited because you'll be like, fuck, I'd start
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: feeling really good. I'd have much better sleep. I'd actually
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: get things done in my morning. I'd start being a
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: lot fitter. I'd feel stronger because I'd actually be following
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: through with all these things. I'd have a hobby. Instead
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: of doing this shit on the afternoon, I would actually
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: like race back home. I'd be punctual and then I'd
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: lean into this hobby. I'd be doing that. I'd be
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: having more time. Maybe I'd have more quality time with
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: my family and this, that, blah, blah, blah. You start
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: fleshing out this amazing life and you realize I haven't
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: needed to make more money or buy more stuff or
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: whatever in order for this to happen. But then the
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: beauty of that is if I was living that life,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: then it would allow me to then have more time
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: to invest into something else or potentially make more money
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: because I've made this little change and then this. And
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: so then that's when you can then, I've maximized who
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: I am now. And then thanks to that, I'm able
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: to do more. Thanks to that, I'm able to actually
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: carve out time just go back and study and really
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: kind of maximize my potential as far as like cognitively
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: or intelligence wise. Maybe I want to like upskill myself.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: And now I've got the opportunity to do that because
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I've turned my life into like the best possible version
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: that it can be with what I've got right now. Now,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: the next thing is number four, five, four, figure out
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: why you're not doing what you're already doing. Because just
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: coming down hard on yourself and berating yourself for not
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: doing something, it's not really achieving that much, okay? It's
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: well and good to, like, I'm all for being, like,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: constructive criticism to yourself. And I also don't think, like, oh,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I'm good enough as I am. Like, if you're doing
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: a life that makes you unhappy, you can't then gaslight
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: yourself saying, oh, no, I'm just, I deserve this. I
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: hate it when people say I deserve it. for something
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: that's actually going to be unhealthy for them. If you
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: want to do that thing that's unhealthy, just do it.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: But don't say I deserve it because you deserve good
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: things in your life. Okay. You deserve to be kind,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: like genuinely kind to yourself and your future self. So
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: why haven't you done these things? Some of them could
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: be valid reasons. Some of them could be reasons that
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: you think are valid, but actually are not. So here's
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: some examples. It actually isn't a priority. Maybe it's just
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: not a priority. Maybe you thought it's a priority, but
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: deep down when you reanalyze everything, you're like, actually, I
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: don't really give a fuck about that anymore. I thought
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I did, but I fucking don't care anymore. I don't
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: need to have a fucking six pack. I'm done with that. Like,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: I just don't care. Right. So then you move on
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: to a different thing and that's fine, but we need
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: to acknowledge it. So we stop banging on about something
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: that's actually not a priority. So I did this in
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: one of the questions in my I think it was
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: in my Smarter, Hotter, Sharper series, which I have every
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Sunday on my sub stack. But the question was, if
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: someone watched your behavior for a month, apart from being
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: a fucking stalker and needing something better to do with
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: their lives, and they could only watch your behaviors, what
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: would they say is a priority in your life? Just
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: based on your behaviors, someone observed it. What do you
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: think that person would say is a priority? So my sister, she...
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: is a prime example of this. She trains like an
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: absolute dog. She's been on the podcast twice at least before.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: She's a firefighter. Stephanie is her name. She's amazing. A
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: lot of you guys love her. A lot of you
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: have met her in person at the live shows because
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: she runs like the merch stall at the live shows.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: But she's someone that, so she's going to be at
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: the fire station, I think it's 7am. She's up at four.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: This is a 24 hour shift, mind you. She's up
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: at four, punching out a one hour workout, then meal prepping,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: and then getting herself ready and going to work. So
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: that's someone that even just by observing behaviors, I'm like,
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: this person knows exactly what is a priority in their life.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: They don't fuck around. They are so clear. She's so
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: consistent with her training that when we were doing the
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: live show tour, we would go, we'd be in Adelaide
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: or Perth or wherever it was. And she's already found
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: a gym or a CrossFit gym or whatever that's going
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: to have a workout. And then she's there at fucking
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: 5am doing a workout. And then she's back before I've
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: woken up. Right? So I'm like, if I was to
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: observe her behaviors, I'd be very clear what her priorities are.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: There's no question. Okay. So that's an example. Like, it's like,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I just need to observe behavior and then I'll know
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: roughly what your priorities are. And then say, do my,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: do my actions mirror my priorities? Another reason that you
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: haven't done it yet is that you're waiting for a
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: version of yourself that is more willing to do what
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: you're not willing to do, which sadly doesn't exist. We think, oh, well,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: when this thing's finished, then I'm going to have more energy.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: When this thing's done, then I'm going to this, then
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to that, then I'm going to, unfortunately it's
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: not the case. I remember when I was at uni,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: And I'd be like, when I'm fucking done with this degree,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: the amount of time I'm going to have to dedicate
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: to this, to that, to that, to that. The degree
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: ended and weirdly, somehow, I didn't feel like I had
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: all this extra time. It's kind of like that law
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: and I literally wrote it in a sub stack the
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: other day and I can't remember what it is. But
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: it's basically the time that it takes for you to
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: do something is the time that you allocate for it.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: So sometimes when I'm busier, I actually get more done.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just as, if not more productive
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: now as a mother because I'm like, fucking get it
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: done because this is the timeframe. If I don't get
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: it done in this timeframe, then too bad, fucking so sad, right?
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: So sometimes we lie to ourselves saying, well, when I've
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: got all this bad time, then I better, no, you've
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: got to somehow make it work. Even if it's at
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: like a lesser capacity, if it's something that matters to you,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: it's about carving out, even if it's just a fraction
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: of the time that you think you'd want to dedicate
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: to it, It's about starting to dedicate that time now.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: There isn't a future version of you where everything is
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: going to fall into place and going to be easier.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: There's always going to be shit that crops up in
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: our life and our ability to enjoy life shouldn't be
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: determined by external factors that aren't there negatively impacting our life.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Our ability to enjoy life is by how we tackle
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: things that come our way in the moment because they're
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: always going to keep coming. There's always going to be
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: a setback. There's always going to be you had a
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: whole day planned and then fucking your kid got sick
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: and you spent half the day in hospital or whatever.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: your car broke down and now you're trying to find
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: a mechanic to whatever. And then your whole day goes
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: out the window. These little setbacks in life happen all
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: the fucking time. And it's easy to get caught up
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: and get upset. But at the same time, you could
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: reframe it as, well, I've got a full life. There's
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: many balls in the air. And this is just part
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: of that full life. And my ability to enjoy my
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: life is on how I, you know, accept that these
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: challenges are just always going to come my way and
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: not be like, oh my God, the world is over
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: because this thing happened. That's just part of life. If
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: we look at it as like, all of these things
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: are always going to be happening and Then you're going
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: to stop saying there's a version of me where everything
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: falls into place and then I'll have time. Then I'll
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: have the energy. Then I'll have the good sleep. Then
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I'll have all of this and then I will start
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: exercising or then I'll start studying for that thing or
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: you fill in the blank. There isn't that version of
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: you that exists in the future that's wanting to do
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: something that you're not wanting to do now. That future
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: you is also not going to want to do it.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: So you've got to do it now as in today, okay?
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: You finish this episode and you're going to take one
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: action that is moving you forward. You're not going to say, Oh,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to write it down. And then next week, no, no, no.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: You're going to do something today because it's that future
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: you thing that we lie to ourselves about all the time.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: The next one is you've tried it before and you
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: found it super unpleasant. So you're like, I'm just going
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: to wait till I find it pleasant. And then I'm
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: not going to do it. Okay. Your brain is now
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: associating that task or exercise or thing with something extremely
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: unpleasant and a lot of effort and a lot of
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: discomfort and maybe pain. feeling like a novice or a
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: failure at that thing. So you avoid restarting it because
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: it was quite unpleasant. But what you're telling yourself is
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: you're forming an association with that thing and feeling bad
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: about yourself or about your abilities with that task. But
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: the more you do that task, the less you're going
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: to feel that way and the scales are going to
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: tip in your favor. But if you stop, you're always
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: going to form that association. If you kept going, you
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: know that part of the brain, you know I've spoken about,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: like you literally are training your brain like a muscle
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: and the more you do a difficult task, the easier
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: it becomes to do that difficult task. It's never going
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: to feel that hard than what it does in the beginning.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: So you've got to overcome that initial lump, that initial hurdle.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: It's kind of getting the momentum. Starting the ball rolling
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: is the hardest part. Once the ball is rolling, it's fine.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Getting up to clean the kitchen is a fucking nightmare.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: But once I'm up cleaning, I actually don't mind cleaning.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: It's actually like genuinely so fine. But it's that starting,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: starting the run, fuck my life. But then once I'm
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: actually running, I'm like, this is actually fine. Everything is
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: just start, start. If we could become someone that just
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: starts that thing, everything in our life would change. Okay.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: The next thing is you lost sight of why it mattered.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: things do become hectic. Like I said, shit is always
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: fucking flying towards your face and it's your job to
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: bat the shit away. So if something important has moved
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: to the back burner because you've been juggling so much,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: it's important to remind yourself of why this really mattered.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Things can kind of come in and out of our perspective.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: So I think it's really important to have something that's
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: a constant reminder of why this is so important to
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: keep it at the forefront. And whatever that is, it
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: could be a photo of maybe your family and you're like,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: I'm doing this because I want more time with my family,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: or I'm doing this because I've seen my parents' health
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: deteriorate and I don't want that for myself. My health
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: has to be the most important thing. I can't forget that.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, whatever it is, it's like you want
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: to have something that's always at the forefront after that reminder,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: because it is easy for something to lose sight of
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: why something matters to you. Another one is you're just
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: overall dissatisfied with your life. So it's really hard to
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: get motivation to do that one thing when it feels
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: like your whole life is fucking falling apart. When your
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: day-to-day life is draining, when this immediate relief is the
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: only like skerrick of joy that you have in your life,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: that becomes the most appealing thing in your life. Okay.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: So this is why we lean into these behaviors of
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: like scrolling this, that, because we're like this is the
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: only like little flake of joy that we're going to
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: experience in our life. But we lie to ourselves thinking
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: that our life is always going to be this way.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: If you were to take all these actions, you would
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: start to find joy not only overall in your life,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: but you'd start to find joy in the process of
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: doing things. To the extent, this is just a very,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: very lame example, but I was playing the game Catan.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Has anyone played? That's my fucking recommendation for the podcast,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: the fucking board game. Catan, C-A-T-A-N. Unbelievable. So my sister
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: taught me this board game and I was playing with
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: my sister and my brother-in-law and I was loving it
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: so much. Then I won and I was so upset
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: that I had won because I'm like, no, I'm going
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: to keep going. Like I want to keep, I was enjoying,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: like I'd rather just not win. I'm like, I was
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: really enjoying the strategy and this and that, that by
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: the time I won, I was actually upset that the
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: journey was over. I didn't, that wasn't the desired outcome
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: to win and for it to end. So imagine if
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: you could apply a similar kind of thing to different
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: things in your life where it's like, no, I'm actually
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: enjoying the journey so much. I actually enjoy the effort,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: the strategy, the mental effort. And then I feel like
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I've done something and I feel like I've achieved this
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: little thing and I feel like I'm working towards something
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: and I'm using my brain or my body. And it's
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: so fun that you don't have to worry too much
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: about the win or being the best at it or
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: being whatever, because you're so satisfied in the journey. That's
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: kind of the goal. And I know a board game
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: is a terrible example of that when you compare it
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: to your life, but That to me was like, oh, well,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: this is one of those examples where it's like the
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: journey is more enjoyable than the actual win itself. Another
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: thing that I want you to do to yourself or
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: whatever is to stop treating failure to follow through as
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: the same problem. Every single problem that you have might
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: actually be a different, might need a different solution. So
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: out of all these ones, this is why I think
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: it's important as to why you're not doing it because
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: it might not be the same why for each thing.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: The same reason why you quit that business idea might
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: be a different reason as to why you quit exercising
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: might be a different reason. So again, it could be
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: waiting for the future. You would actually is no longer
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: a priority. You've tried it before and found it unpleasant.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: You lost sight of why it mattered or you're dissatisfied
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: with your life, you know, Someone who doesn't exercise because
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: they haven't prioritized it might be different to someone who
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: stopped exercising because they're waiting to feel motivated. That's two
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: different reasons as to why you're not exercising. Now, number five,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: inspiration is a consequence of action. When a writer starts writing,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: the more they start writing, the more inspired they become.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: You don't just sit there and get all this inspiration
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: as a writer. It's that mental muscle. It's the creative muscle.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: And as I sit down and write and write and write,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: I found this amazing thing when I was writing this
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: book and I was in my postpartum phase because I'm
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: writing a fourth book, by the way. I don't know
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: if I've mentioned that or not. I've already submitted it.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: But anyway, writing in my postpartum era and I would
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: try and block like fully going against what I tell
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: you guys to do. But I was trying to block
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: like big chunks to write because I'm like, okay, the
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: babies are going to be sleeping that day and then
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: like my parents are going to come and help whatever
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: and I try and write. And I'd just be sitting
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: there being like I'm so under like motivated, it's not
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: funny and I don't have inspiration and I don't have
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: this excitement. Then I changed it to just 30 minutes
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: every morning. And I can't tell you, by the fourth morning,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: four mornings, it's nothing, four mornings, by the fourth morning,
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: it was like my hands couldn't keep up with typing
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: with ideas. Now, I didn't use all those ideas and
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: some of it was absolute trash, but there was so much,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: I was just writing, writing, writing. And when I'd look
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: back on what I had written the following day, I
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: liked what I had written. I was like, this is good.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: I've got a good flow going. And then that half hour,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: I'd make it an hour because I'm like, well, I
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: can't stop now. So if, you know, obviously within reason
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: because of the kids, but it was a And that
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: was because I was doing it more and more and more.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: And when I made it a consistent thing that I'd
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: show up daily, daily, daily, the inspiration then came. I'd
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: be walking around and I'd read something or acknowledge something.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, write that down quick for the book, for
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: the book, for the book. Okay. People discover their interests
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: because they're exposed to more things. We think that, oh,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: when I get really inspired, then I'm going to do it.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: You have to earn your inspiration annoyingly enough, okay? So
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: this sense of purpose, this inspiration, it comes through engaging,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: engaging with the task, engaging with the outside world, engaging
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: with new ideas, concepts, with doing that course, with returning
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: to study, with whatever, that's where the inspiration actually comes.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Opportunities are actually more useful when you're already developed this
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: discipline and this creative muscle and this like inspiration. Inspiration
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: is something you actually develop, okay? And if you think, well,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: I've been inspired before, imagine how much more your inspiration
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: would be if you were actually honing in on this craft, okay?
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: So when we're talking about maximizing what we have with
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: the resources we currently have, you actually can become so
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: much more creative and inspired just by allocating this time
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: every single day or every second day to this task
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: that you're wanting to work on. Now, number five, this
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: is a big one. Is it four or five? What
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: am I? No, number six. Sorry, I'm all over the
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: place because I myself can't even write down numbers properly.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: So good times, good times. Number six, stop saying I
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: could have done that. I think I've spoken about this before,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: but if you haven't heard me say it, I'm going
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: to fucking tell you again, stop saying I could have
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: done that. It means nothing. Of course you could have
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: done that. But why didn't you do it? You fucking
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: didn't do it. So what is your point? The point
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: of someone achieving something is that they actually followed through.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: It's not because I had this idea. It pisses me
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: off and be like, I could have done that. You
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: probably couldn't because you didn't. Okay. When people launch a business,
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: you're like, that's not that original. I could have done that. No,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: you can't. Why didn't you then? Why didn't you? Why
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: aren't you sitting here? with your multi-million dollar app because
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: you didn't do it. The actual impressive thing when someone
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: starts a business, the idea is only like 2%. It's
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: actually the follow-through, the networking, the getting the funding, the
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: doing this, that, that, the great, great, great, great, the
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: sticking it fucking out. Those people that have those businesses,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: do you know how many times they've stuck something out
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: or been rejected or tried this and failed and tried
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and failed and tried? That's what they did. It's the
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: sticking it out. It's the follow-through that's impressive. So when
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: you look at someone's idea, no, you couldn't have done
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: that unless you're a person of your word, unless you
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: can stand here with your hand on your heart and say,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a person who fucking follows through with my word
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: and I do what I say I'm going to do.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: At the very least, I set out to do what
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: I say I'm going to do. And the only thing
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: that stops me is it failing or me realizing it's
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: a dead end idea. And then I move on to
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: the next idea. Okay. So when we say I could
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: have done that, you're minimizing that. the amount of effort
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: that that person has put to actually getting that idea
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: to fruition. Because anyone, well, not anyone, but I'd say
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: probably at least 50% of the population could think up
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: some very good business ideas, some very good creative business
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: ideas that they then see one or two years later
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: being like, oh, I thought of that. I should have
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: done that. No. I mean, yeah, you should have, but
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: would you? And I want you to turn into someone
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: that genuinely could say, you know what? I would do
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: that because I have tried doing a business and I
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: have tried this idea and networking and this and that,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: and that is the kind of person that I am.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: And then say it. Then say I could have done it. Okay.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: So the same as like when someone runs a marathon,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: I could run a marathon. Could you? Could you? Because
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: I'm going to run the Sydney Marathon next year. Well,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: I say I'm going to. I'm signing up for the
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Sydney Marathon next year. My manager, he's like, you're locking in,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: we're doing it together. And he's like a diehard runner.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: So we are, I'm doing it where I'm at the
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: very least going to set out hard to run this marathon.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do everything in my power to run
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: a fucking marathon. Okay. But I'm not going to look
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: at someone that runs a marathon and say, I can
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: do that. I'm like, I'm going to try my very best.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: I hope I can. And that's the, that's my goal. Okay.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: Same as like different careers, different skills. You know, when
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: you look at that, you want to It's nice that
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: you have that belief in yourself, but you also want
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: to have like evidence as to why you think you
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: could actually have done that thing. And the main evidence is,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: am I someone with kind of grit and tenacity? And
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: do I have follow through? That's when you, and then like,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: and give credit to people's work. I don't like it
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: when we dismiss other people's work like that. Like give credit,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: say like, I acknowledge the amount of hard work and
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: effort that that person went to getting that thing done,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: running the marathon, completing that degree, completing that course, getting
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: that job, blah, blah, blah, blah, doing all these things. Okay. So. Yeah.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Having an idea, a great idea is just the top
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: of the iceberg. Okay. It doesn't demonstrate discipline. It doesn't
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: demonstrate follow through. It doesn't demonstrate anything. potential, when we
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: have all these ideas, oh, we're sitting in our potential,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: but that potential doesn't show anything really. It just shows
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: that you're at the, at that, the base of the
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: pyramid with all these potential ideas and you could go
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: up or you could stay where you are. And it's
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: your behaviors, your daily behaviors that determine where you're going
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: to go. Are you going to stay at the bottom
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: brewing all these potential? What if I could, what if,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: what if, what if, but they're never going up, but
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: having all this potential or moving up that, that pyramid
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: or ladder, whatever you want to call it, pyramid scheme,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: moving up, And realizing that by making these decisions, you're
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: cutting off your potential for other things because you're investing
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: your time and energy into this one thing. It's an investment.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: It's a risk. It's a time risk, okay? But you're
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: actually following through and that's where you start seeing results.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: That's where you generate actual results, okay? Yeah, so basically
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: ask yourself, what evidence do I have that I would
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: or I could have done something like that, okay? An
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: idea is just not enough. Number seven, build a track
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: record with yourself. This is kind of the central idea
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: of everything that I'm talking about. Okay. So instead of
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: constantly saying to yourself, I'm disciplined, I'm organized, I could
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: do that. I've got so much potential, which is great,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: but let's get a bit more specific. I want you
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: to actually collect evidence behind the statements that you say.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: So Every time you follow through with something, you are
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: creating evidence that you are someone that prioritizes your health.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: Every time you follow through, you're saying someone that I
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: am someone that wants to be an entrepreneur. I am
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: an entrepreneur because I'm working on this every single fucking day.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Or I am a writer. I'm now a writer. I
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: don't want to be a writer. I'm sitting down every
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: day or every second day and writing a book. And
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: whether it gets published or not, we'll see about that
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: when I finish the book. But I'm a writer because
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: I'm writing. Not that I want to do this. I'm
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: doing it. And then that starts strengthening your sense of
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: self and your ability to be like, I'm someone that
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: could do that. Because when we talk about self-efficacy, it
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: all comes down to this belief that you're capable of
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: actually doing that thing. If we believe that we're capable,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: the likelihood of us actually following through and trying is
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: significantly higher than if we don't believe. That self-efficacy, that
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: belief that I could do that is that underlying thing.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: And belief comes from showing up, from having evidence, from
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: having follow through. So if you've already completed a short
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: course on something, the likelihood of you thinking, believing that
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: you could complete a degree is probably going to be
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: high because you're like, well, I've got evidence that I've
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: got follow through. So I probably could finish this degree.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: And yes, it's going to be hard, but I could. Okay.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: So this is kind of, we need to have this
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: evidence to back ourselves. And the more evidence we provide
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: for ourselves, the easier it's going to be for us
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: to follow through. The higher our self-efficacy is going to be,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: our belief that we're able to do something. Number eight.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: master what is available before obsessing what you're missing. So
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: we're not focusing on the resources that we don't have yet, money, time, followers,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: an audience, knowledge, all of that. But you're asking yourself,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: how am I effectively using what I already have? So
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: this is what I was talking about at the start
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: of the episode, but this is how I want you
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: to kind of write it down. So if you're always
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: disorganized or distracted or inconsistent, or always playing catch up
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: with existing opportunities that you have, Then when we keep
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: adding more distractions, it actually becomes harder and harder and
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: harder to juggle it. Not easier like we think it
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: would be. We think that if we add this new
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: course or this new thing, it's going to make it easier.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: But sometimes we overwhelm ourselves and we need to kind
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: of strip it back, go back to the bare basics
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: and master what we already have to prepare you for
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: those bigger opportunities that lie ahead. And now this is
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: the kind of challenge that I have for you today
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: to summarize, to wrap up this episode. Okay. I want
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: you to pick one thing. One thing. Look, ideally you're
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: going to do many things, but for the sake of
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: this challenge, we're starting with one thing, especially if you're
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: someone that you're like, oh my God, this episode is
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: speaking to me. This is speaking to me. Then you're
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: someone that probably needs to work on your follow through.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: So I don't want you picking too many things. One thing,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: maybe two, one, ideally. Something that you've been saying, I
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: could do that, or I could have done that. but
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: something that you actually like, because it's a difference between
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: saying someone that did something that you think is basing on,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I could do that, but you're not actually passionate. So
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: something you actually want to do that you think genuinely, oh,
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: I could do that. Let's put our money where our
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: mouth is and actually do something. I'm going to write
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: down a bit of a strategy on how we plan
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: to get that done, or at the very least, how
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: we plan to start seeing that through. So say it
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: is like, I really want to launch my own business.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Say it's like, I want to become self-employed. I want
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: to whatever, whatever it is that you keep saying, well,
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: I could do that. I could do that. If I
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: had this, if I had that, I could do it.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, with the resources I have, how far
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: could I go with this idea? Is it a hobby?
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: Is it career wise? Is it income wise? Is it
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: fitness wise? What is the idea? Pick the one idea. Okay.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: And then I want you to write down all the
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: things that you're already capable of doing that gets you
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: closer to that thing, how it's going to fit into
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: your schedule realistically with the schedule you currently have, not
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: your future schedule, schedule of today. Something that ideally takes
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: under 30 minutes if time is an issue for you.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: If it's something that's every single day, it could be
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: less than 30 minutes. If you're someone that's got more
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: time than you know what to do with, then that's
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: not really an issue. It's about follow through and actually
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: showing up and doing it. But I want it to
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: be something realistic for most people. And time is something
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: that most people say, well, this is where I have
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: the issue with time. Okay. It has some form of
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: satisfaction attached to it. And that's what I mean. You
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: have to be like, you have to like that thing.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: You have to like the idea of being able to
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: achieve it at the very least, or there's got to
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: be some health benefit. Like with exercise, the satisfaction is
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: I know that my body is going to feel stronger
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: and better for whatever. If it's business wise, you know,
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: so it's got to be something you're not being a
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: martyr about this thing. It's going to be something that
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: you're not just doing it to prove a point. You're
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: doing it because it actually will benefit you and something
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: that you want in your life. Okay. Okay. something that
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: you can realistically perform most days. So don't set out
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: this weird, crazy task that all these things have to
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: align in order for you to be able to follow
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: through with that thing. This exercise that I'm getting you
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: to do is about strengthening your follow through rather than
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: achieving some enormous outcome. So I think a really good
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: one would be to like, a good example is the
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: writing one. Start a sub stack. You can even make
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: it private, but it's like, I'm going to, or you
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: can make the sub stack private or you can make
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: it anonymous. And your goal doesn't even have to be
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: about getting subscribers, but it could be like, I want
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: to publish a blog twice a week. It's a three
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: minute read twice a week, once a week, a three
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: minute read once a week. And after one year, I
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: could either make it public or maybe I've made it
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: public the entire time because I want it to be public,
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: which love that. I'm going to start a brand new
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: one and I'm going to go big, or I'm going
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: to make them all public and I'm going to go whatever,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck it is. But it's like, I
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: want to show that I'm a writer. And after a
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: year or six months or three months of doing that consistently,
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: I can be like, I am a writer. I've got
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: my own blog or I am a this, I've got this,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I've got this evidence to back it. I'm whatever. Okay.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: So I want you to choose the timeframe for how,
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: how long you're going to do this before you can
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: like reassess and look back and be like, okay, ideally
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: it's something that you can do forever or like for
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: the foreseeable future. And I want you to, you know,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: I want you to be able to make it measurable.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: It's got to be something that you can measure. So exercise-wise, yeah,
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I've measured that I've actually gone and done those things. Time-wise,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: I've done 10 minutes of that writing every day. It's
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: not this arbitrary thing. It's got to be measurable. It's
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: got to be something that can be locked into your calendar.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: It's got to be time that you can already allocate
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: to doing that thing. That is your challenge. Now, ideally,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: I would like this challenge to go for at least
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: a month minimum just because I think, you know, when
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: we're talking about making and breaking a habit, the minimum
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: time to put a habit into place is a month. Well,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: people say 21 days, but that's best case scenario. It's
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: closer to a month. Okay. Minimum up to a year
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: to make, well, for some people it's two years. Don't even,
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: just don't. but minimum a month. So that's why I'd
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: like this thing to go for at least a month.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: So the aim of this is for follow-through. You're training
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: your follow-through, okay? This is to stop sitting in your
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: potential and become a person of your word. So if
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: you do listen to this on Spotify, I would love
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: for you to put in the comments what that thing
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: is going to be. So then other people can read
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: that and get all excited and they can put it
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: in the comments too. Is it going to be exercising, writing? stretching.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe you want to become the most flexible version of
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: yourself you've ever been. Maybe you want to start learning
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: the Spanish guitar and you want to be like the
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: fucking Gypsy Kings, okay? Whatever it is I want you to.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: I want to start cake decorating, by the way. Don't
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: even talk to me. I've decided this is so off
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: on a tangent, but I'm going to bake the babies
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: a cake. Now, it's not going to be the cake
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: for their birthday because that's just, it would be hideous.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: But I am going to separately to the cake that
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: we're getting them for their birthday. I am going to
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: bake a cake. So stay tuned. Follow me on Instagram
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: if you want to see the wrath of this whole
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: thing unfold. But at Alexis Fernandez Prexel, you will see
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: me baking a cake. It's going to be fabulous. So anyway,
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: that's me. I'm going to be a baker. Yeah, that
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: is all for the episode of today. So hopefully you
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: did have your pen and paper and you wrote it
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: all down. And you can start feeling really empowered with
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: the resources that you already have to do something with
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: your life and stop sitting in potential to do that
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: thing that you always wanted to do, how we're going
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: to actually do it. Guys, that is all for the
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: episode of today. Thank you so much for tuning in.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: Love you all so much. And as always, remember, be
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: kind to yourself, be kind to your brain. Don't take
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: shit from anyone and especially don't take shit from yourself.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: Don't care.