Latest / Let's Ask the Mamas! / Charismatic Parents
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Your mamas is
- 0:02Speaker 1: having charismatic parents a superpower?
- 0:04Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our Americ and mama's Mama, Mama, and.
- 0:19Speaker 1: Joining is now our American mama's Terry Edeville and Kimberly Burlison.
- 0:24Speaker 1: I think this question comes from an Instagram clip that
- 0:26Speaker 1: you guys got, right. Is that right? So there's a
- 0:29Speaker 1: young man saying how much better it would be if
- 0:33Speaker 1: you grew up in a house where social skills were
- 0:37Speaker 1: taught on a regular basis? Is that right?
- 0:39Speaker 3: Yes?
- 0:39Speaker 1: Right, So here's a clip to listen.
- 0:40Speaker 3: Consider yourself lucky if you grew up with a socially
- 0:44Speaker 3: confident parent. It's sort of like growing up in a
- 0:46Speaker 3: bilingual household, where like it's so much easier to learn
- 0:50Speaker 3: a language when your parents are just speaking it in
- 0:53Speaker 3: the kitchen versus like trying to learn it when you're
- 0:55Speaker 3: eighteen and you're sitting in a classroom or reading a
- 0:58Speaker 3: book or something. In social confidence, this is so similar
- 1:00Speaker 3: where it's like it would be much easier to just
- 1:03Speaker 3: grow up for eighteen years with a parent who's like
- 1:06Speaker 3: really smooth and charismatic and they're not afraid to talk
- 1:09Speaker 3: to people, and you're just you're watching and you're absorbing,
- 1:12Speaker 3: and you're mimicking them versus you grew up with parents
- 1:15Speaker 3: who weren't really socially confident, And now you're eighteen and
- 1:18Speaker 3: you're in college and you're realizing you didn't really ever
- 1:20Speaker 3: learn that skill, and so then you start going on
- 1:23Speaker 3: YouTube and trying to learn how to be confident.
- 1:26Speaker 1: How to Okay, you guys grew up with socially confident parents, Yes, yeah,
- 1:32Speaker 1: for sure? Is he right? Is it better to grow
- 1:34Speaker 1: up with a socially confident parent in your household?
- 1:37Speaker 4: I never even thought about it until I saw this
- 1:40Speaker 4: reel and he talked about it as being in a
- 1:42Speaker 4: home that's bilingual, and I thought, oh, my gosh, that's exactly.
- 1:47Speaker 4: He's so right, growing up with very socially capable parents
- 1:53Speaker 4: with such a benefit to us our entire lives that
- 1:57Speaker 4: I didn't realize what a virtue that was until you know,
- 2:01Speaker 4: now later in life.
- 2:02Speaker 5: Yeah, I thought that. I thought that was pretty clever
- 2:04Speaker 5: of him to put that out there. It's so true. Uh,
- 2:07Speaker 5: my children, we've joked about this because I'm more of
- 2:10Speaker 5: the outgoing you know, you know, my children have grown
- 2:13Speaker 5: up with me you know, watching me talk to people
- 2:15Speaker 5: or give speeches or whatever. And their father is just incredible.
- 2:20Speaker 5: Our doctor, he's more introverted and he's people love him
- 2:24Speaker 5: when you know as as a doctor, and they love.
- 2:26Speaker 1: Me as person.
- 2:26Speaker 5: But he's very quiet.
- 2:27Speaker 1: But Kevin walks with confidence.
- 2:29Speaker 5: Oh, definitely, definitely very confident. Yeah.
- 2:31Speaker 1: I mean he can stand alone in a room and
- 2:34Speaker 1: not feel out of place.
- 2:36Speaker 5: Well, and I'll tell you this one little side thing.
- 2:39Speaker 5: He pauses, which drives me nuts.
- 2:42Speaker 1: Absolutely.
- 2:43Speaker 5: I think I have this like some I don't know
- 2:46Speaker 5: what's wrong with me. It's so terrible. We've got plenty
- 2:49Speaker 5: of family stories about what I say during the time
- 2:51Speaker 5: when there's a pause. It's unnecessary when we are and
- 2:56Speaker 5: if we're talking to a group and someone asks him something,
- 2:58Speaker 5: he's very thoughtful, So think about it for a second.
- 3:01Speaker 5: And I'm like, sometimes he's thinking, he's thinking, he's like,
- 3:04Speaker 5: don't do that. I'm like, it's just terrible. You know,
- 3:07Speaker 5: I've diying because there's so much of a pause, especially
- 3:10Speaker 5: if he's on the phone. But I told my children,
- 3:12Speaker 5: I was like, they were like, well, you know, we've
- 3:14Speaker 5: got we've got your social skills, we've got dad's brain.
- 3:17Speaker 5: His you know, his smart and I'll say, you know,
- 3:21Speaker 5: I'm gonna take that as a compliment. You know, I'm
- 3:24Speaker 5: going to refuse take that as an insult because I
- 3:27Speaker 5: was smart too, I said, but just imagine if you
- 3:29Speaker 5: just imagine it was what if you had my school
- 3:32Speaker 5: smart and your father's social skills and they were like,
- 3:36Speaker 5: you know, that'd be hilarious. But I truly, truly, yeah,
- 3:41Speaker 5: it's like a never you know.
- 3:43Speaker 4: The other day, we're at my little sister's Lindsay's house,
- 3:45Speaker 4: and so her kids. She has one in college, she's
- 3:47Speaker 4: got one senior in high school, and one that is
- 3:49Speaker 4: approachman in high school. And it's very interesting because our
- 3:52Speaker 4: kids are now grown. But to watch it happening in
- 3:54Speaker 4: real time, to see Lindsey and how she's helping her kids.
- 3:58Speaker 1: Develop this social competent.
- 4:01Speaker 4: So yeah, like the oldest daughter, Gracey, she wasn't talking.
- 4:04Speaker 4: There's a room full of people, Gracey wasn't talking. She
- 4:07Speaker 4: kept pulling up her phone, looking at her phone. Lindsay
- 4:10Speaker 4: did a really good job of just letting it happen.
- 4:12Speaker 4: But after everybody was gone, she went right into her
- 4:15Speaker 4: and she talked about the way it looks, the perception
- 4:18Speaker 4: that she gives it. She could care less about anybody there,
- 4:21Speaker 4: her lack of trying to make conversation, I mean, and
- 4:25Speaker 4: of course Grace is like, oh my gosh, I'm not
- 4:27Speaker 4: even trying. Y'a weren't talking to me. But they do
- 4:31Speaker 4: not let up. And I realized because I just watched
- 4:33Speaker 4: that real I'm watching in real time.
- 4:36Speaker 5: The education, and you know when it starts. It actually
- 4:39Speaker 5: starts at their young birthday parties. Summer's summer was painfully shy.
- 4:44Speaker 5: I don't want I don't want to open presents in
- 4:46Speaker 5: front of everybody. I said, this is part of it,
- 4:48Speaker 5: and it be so grateful with each gift. So they
- 4:52Speaker 5: had to learn at an early age, this is part
- 4:54Speaker 5: of it, this is how it works, this is how
- 4:56Speaker 5: you do it.
- 4:57Speaker 1: Can there be such thing as a parent with too
- 4:59Speaker 1: much so confidence? And if you have an introverted child,
- 5:03Speaker 1: then it's backfires in that they see this parent that's
- 5:06Speaker 1: walking out there is the center of attention in all
- 5:08Speaker 1: the room, and they're like, I can never measure up
- 5:10Speaker 1: to that. Is that a possibility?
- 5:11Speaker 5: I'm sure there is. I'm sure that maybe even some
- 5:14Speaker 5: kids feel like they cannot measure up, so they just
- 5:16Speaker 5: kind of let their mom or their dad do the talking,
- 5:18Speaker 5: and they just kind of kind of like, let's look
- 5:20Speaker 5: at Evanka Trump. You know, she kind of takes that step.
- 5:23Speaker 5: All of them do whenever you've got that big you know.
- 5:26Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 5:27Speaker 5: But I think that they're able to handle themselves in
- 5:30Speaker 5: social situations by watching, you know, just like our kids,
- 5:34Speaker 5: you know, and if they do something that we're like,
- 5:37Speaker 5: oh that was kind of like that a little misstep,
- 5:40Speaker 5: we have zero problem talking to them about it afterwards.
- 5:42Speaker 1: If you like to ask our American mama was a question,
- 5:44Speaker 1: go to our website American ground Radio dot com slash
- 5:45Speaker 1: Mama's and click on the ask the Mama's button. Terry
- 5:47Speaker 1: head Off Kimberly Brotherlys and thank you so much.
- 5:49Speaker 4: Thank you,