Latest / High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm / How to Build Your Household God’s Way

Transcript

How to Build Your Household God’s Way · High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the High Level Wives Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am Chelsea Holm, your hostess, and here we do Marriage God's Way.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: We are high-level wives who are tender, tenacious, and taking back territory that the enemy has stolen.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to give you another behind-the-scenes look of what it means to have right order, right?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Biblical right order, how we then play that out in our life through mission as a family, um, as we have core values that drive us forward and become the test for any question that we have of what we're going to do or not do.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then how having that uh before the family, right?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So that they know the direction that we're going.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then how that actually plays out in our daily rhythms, discipline, and habits as a family.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And yesterday we were sitting down having another conversation with our kids, um, as we have this conversation a lot of how our family dynamic functions and how we work together to steward what the Lord has given us, and specifically with our family mission, how we do that utilizing our spiritual gifts and how together we are working to build God's kingdom, right?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but then like also the breakdown of the practical of what that actually means and look like, looks like.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And Holly said something yesterday that I thought was so profound, right?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I think so many miss.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, So, ideally, if we all not only did the bare minimum, which is not how our family operates, right, we work with excellence.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of our core values for the glory of God, not the praise of man, because we're stewarding well what he's given us.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she said, So if everyone did not just the bare minimum that they're expected, but also had eyes to see that which needs to be done and did it without being asked or told, everything would work together seamlessly, essentially, is what she said.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, but like she had the underlying tone of, yeah, we keep trying this, but people still aren't doing the bare minimum.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so, how can we work with excellence if we're not even doing the bare minimum?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And just like most, as old as the garden is, right?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Blame and looking at others, but but she didn't, but but he didn't, or but she did, or he didn't, or that's not my job, or right, like someone else will do it, right?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of those things, like that's all low-level thinking.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And we understand it's you know, we're we're dealing with kids here, and we are disciplining them, we are training them up in the way that they should go, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Which is the Lord and sharing his commands.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, actually, I think like if you missed my episode about the behind the scenes of our family and our movie The Kentucky and all of that, um, Zach and I have the receipts, so many receipts for the Lord at work in our life and providing good things for us when we are seeking him and radically obedient to him, right?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But my kids don't really have that firsthand.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: They have that through what we've told them, right?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of telling of the wondrous deeds and works of God, but they haven't really experienced that firsthand.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have the same receipts that we have in that.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I really think that this move to Kentucky is for them to be built up in the most holy faith, for them to see God's hand at work and his provision and his goodness, how it is awesome here, but God has even more awesome ahead in store that we are praising him for and giving him glory.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And my kids are gonna get to experience that first hand and for themselves.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, so I wanted to talk about like how how do we actually implement this?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it it's through first and foremost, it has to come from the right order.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's seeking God first, he is our top priority, and we actually play that out and giving him the first fruits of everything, right?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: The first fruits of our time.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the first fruits of our day.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Giving him the first fruits of the the gifts that he is giving us, giving us, right?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Using them for his glory, not our own, right?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Using them to build his kingdom, not our own, giving him the first fruits of our finances.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's his anyway.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're simply managing and steering it, stewarding it, right?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Giving him the first fruits of our energy, our resources, all of that, right?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like him first in actually what we do every day.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So our thoughts, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Our bodies, our minds, our energies, our efforts, all of that.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's all to be pleasing to the Lord because he first pursued us and made a way.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: We now pursue him.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So that has to be first and foremost.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just like this is not Western Christianity of if I go to church and I give God some money when I can and I serve, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's not that that's that's not pursuing the Lord.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's that's looking good and checking boxes.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I know.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's hard to hear.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we did that for a lot of years.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: We did, right?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: We were doing all the right things, but our heart and our actual priorities were out of order.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: We said God was first, but in the way that we actually lived on our life, God was not first, not by a long shot.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so we don't live by the world's standards, we live by God's standards.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that has to be implemented first and foremost in our own personal lives and in our own households, right?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you look in uh 1 Timothy, where it's I think it's 1 Timothy, maybe it's 2 Timothy, but um it's talking about the qualifications for deacons and overseers, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it specifically addresses that this man must have his own household in order because how could he do anything else if his own household is not in order?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so we follow that as God's standard for our family.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband leads the charge on this.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, for many years, I tried to be in control, it doesn't work.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how God designed us as wives.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: That was a burden that I cannot bear.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't work, it crushes you.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I criticized my husband to the point of damages, damaging his faith because I was trying to be God and I was trying to be his Holy Spirit and I was trying to be his savior.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was not creating space.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was actually sucking the life out of any space for him to step into and lead our family.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: But let me tell you, wives, when you get out of God's way and you get out of your own way and your husband's way, you create that space that your husband can step up and lead, and it is gonna blow your mind.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: My husband is leading our family so well.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know that he his heart says, God, I will do whatever it is that you tell me to do.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I know he's seeking the Lord and he's in his word and he's praying.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Where once I would underhandedly cut him by saying, 'Well, did you pray about this first?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Rather than assuming that he is praying faithfully about this, right?' And I know that with confidence that he is.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And my trust is in the Lord.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And do I actually trust the Lord?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And because I trust the Lord, right, whether you trust the Lord or not is not what you say, but it's actually in how your life plays out each day and how you react or respond to things.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you say you trust God, but when challenges arise, you immediately spiral into overthinking, anxiety, worry, doubt, fear.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You don't actually trust God, okay?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: You trust in your own understanding.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you don't have understanding, the you know what hits the fan.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this is bold.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's probably punching you in the face, but we need to be punched in the face by the truth, the word of God.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so all of this has to start with that right order of seeking God first, actually, not just in what we say, but what we do, because that directs everything else.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: So then we are able to have a mission for our family, the direction that we're going, right?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: What were we called to do?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: We were called to love God and love others as we love ourselves, but it's love God first.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And because of that, we are then able to, because we're plugged into the source, have an overflow to love others as ourselves, because the right order, remember, is God, you, then your spouse, then your kids, then your work, then everything else.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: So it creates an overflow rather than us trying to pour from an empty cup or forcing something or carrying something that God never asked us to carry.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to walk in his strength even amidst our weakness.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so then that that forms our mission.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And this is formed by the overall commands of the Lord to love God and love others as yourself, and then to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Those are our commands, those shape our family mission.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: But our family mission is also shaped by the gifts and talents and the specific calling that God has on your family, right?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be different than ours because our calling is different than yours.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: My husband is in the military.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: We have a different lifestyle than most, but it is still in submission and under the authority of God, right?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: The military is not in charge of our lives.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: God is.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Understand that.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so then when we have that mission, that gives us the framework for building everything else under it, right?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: For actually carrying things out in the practical sense.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: So then we have core values.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: What are your family's core values?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: What drives you forward?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: What does everything filter through when we're talking about making decisions, right?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: If our core value is excellence, working with excellence for the glory of the Lord, not the praise of man, okay, that's one of ours.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: How about integrity, right?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: We work with honesty and sincerity of heart, being pure in our conduct.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that is going to impact things.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if we have a core value of love, loving one another, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: If we have a core value of, and this can be this is going to be different, right?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's different for every single family because of how God uniquely knit you and formed you and the good works that he predestined before the formation of the world for you specifically to walk in.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: He has chosen you for a specific purpose, right?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And these core values are going to keep you in line and holding up the mission.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so then when a question comes up of, hey, mom and dad, can I play this sport?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, sport, not bad, not good, just a thing, right?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a good thing.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're gonna filter through that, right?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna or we're gonna filter that through.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, our mission is this going to move us forward in the direction together of the mission.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And does it also pass the foundational test or the support structure test of the core values?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Does this help me to have integrity?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Does this help me to um move with love?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Does this help me to utilize specifically for our family, utilize our spiritual gifts and talents for the glory of God and the building up of the church?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um and if it doesn't, it's a very easy no.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: No, right?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, said sport has practices and games on the weekends, right?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now you might be able to still make this work, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like our church does Saturday night church services.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: But if that wasn't an option, because there are games on Sunday, and actually this year our our my son is in an older, he's in the varsity, so their games are not until late afternoon.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: So we can still make this work, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't, it's not an immediate no, but it helps you to make these decisions, right?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you the guidons, it gives you the the structures to carry the mission forward, and then we break it down further into disciplines and habits and rhythms, right?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So our disciplines are how we understand first and foremost that we do not belong to ourselves, our bodies were bought, paid for by the blood of Jesus.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: You are not your own.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yes, we understand that, right?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't get to just do whatever I want to my body and put whatever I want into my body or not take care of my body, right?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: No, we have to practice discipline here, and because we also know that our body is a temple of the Lord and it's our spiritual act of worship to care and steward for the temple.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so there are certain things, certain disciplines that I need to implement as worship to the Lord working out, eating healthy, getting enough rest.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So those are things we're gonna be doing every day, but also and more importantly, even than the discipline of our physical bodies, we need the discipline of our spirit.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we're following the right order, we're plugging into the source first, he's getting the best of our first fruits.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: So our discipline is to be in God's word daily, be in prayer daily, to spend time in solitude with him daily.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus modeled these for us, and we imitate our savior.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're also the the the rhythms and disciplines of coming together as a church body, right?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Of um, you know, within marriage, like we have our disciplines of daily time connecting, we have our disciplines of time away so that we have deeper connection without distractions.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: We have, you see what I'm saying?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like there are these things that we have in place.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm not gonna go through the whole list, but what I'm I'm bringing this to you for is because it's not just about you, right?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is about your household.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is about your household.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: The leader of a household decided everything for everyone.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when he came to the Lord, his whole house was baptized.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: When he followed the Lord, his whole house followed the Lord.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see what I'm saying?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be at the helm of these things, submitting yourselves to these things so that you can be imitated and modeled.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is not do as I say, not as I do.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: That is worldly, that is sinful, and you need to repent of that kind of language.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: We also need to understand our mind, right?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: The thoughts, the things that we're putting into it.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is going to give us the parameters for how we manage technology in our house and entertainment and um social things, right?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: With the people around us.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: All of those things are taken into account, and they're all coming down from that right order and then being carried out, carried through the mission, through the structure of our core values, and carried out practically daily through our daily, weekly, and monthly habits, rhythms, and disciplines.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So all of this helps us to bring it to our household for how we move together as a family.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: We are not, we are not bedroom families, we are living room families, we are always together, family.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think it drives people crazy.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I've had to have conversations with people before that like our kids come with us everywhere, right?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we go everywhere as a family, like we do these things together.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's our household, we're a house of the Lord, we are the fragrance of Christ, we are the gospel applied to our lives, that the world gets to smell Jesus on us.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that is how we build his kingdom and we make disciples of all nations because people experience Jesus when they experience our family.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Praise the Lord, hallelujah, to the praise of his glory.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, this episode is going to challenge you to sit back and take account of your household, right?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: And wife, that doesn't mean that you are going to lead your family in this.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: First, you're going to lead yourself.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And husband, first you're going to lead yourself.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that starts with repentance, right?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Starts with repentance, turning away from sin and self and moving towards the Lord first and foremost.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you want more help on this in community of people, of wives who are high level, who are tender, tenacious, and taking back territory that the enemy has stolen, then come join us in high level wife because that's exactly what we do.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is discipleship.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is discipleship by God's written word and his spirit leading us day in and day out.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is fresh wind and fresh fire.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the world's standards.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the world's ways.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what actually leads to flourishing because it leads to deeper abiding in the presence of the Lord.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you on the next episode.