Latest / The Danger Zoo / Save Your Own Skin

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Save Your Own Skin · The Danger Zoo

• 0:03
  Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger zoo.
• 0:10
  Welcome to the department of anomalous and non human genetic
• 0:13
  entities, reconnaissance and zoological occult operations.
• 0:16
  I am Coyote the game warden and we are getting into the shit
• 0:20
  boys and we have back Saudi and Naidal Aza.
• 0:27
  Yay Toddy, you were in this Tavern, right?
• 0:32
  Talking to this beautiful lady about getting pegged or
• 0:34
  something and. What?
• 0:40
  Hey man, we don't kink shame here, OK?
• 0:44
  I. Do oh 100%.
• 0:47
  Kink shaming is my kink. Yep.
• 0:50
  Yes. Wait, wait.
• 0:52
  Yeah. Shane, I'm gonna, you know, I
• 0:54
  gotta get a bell. You dirty, dirty boy.
• 0:56
  Anyways. Don't bully me, I'll come.
• 1:00
  This So for this Tavern, it's actually reinforced.
• 1:04
  And when you came in, she locked it because she thought she had a
• 1:06
  new customer. What they did not know a couple
• 1:09
  episodes. Yeah, You.
• 1:10
  She thought you were her new customer.
• 1:12
  So they locked the door behind new customers.
• 1:15
  Yeah, man, just make you feel safe.
• 1:17
  Is this like the Hotel California?
• 1:20
  Yeah, basically you can't. You can't check out.
• 1:22
  It kind of sounds like she wants to wear your skin.
• 1:26
  Anyways, it got locked down hazy and baby bird didn't know this
• 1:31
  so they planted C4 on the front door and they blew it up, which
• 1:35
  you know it didn't bust down the door, but the percussions of it
• 1:38
  knocked you and this lady the fuck out for the past couple
• 1:40
  episodes. And so you stir awake right now
• 1:46
  and what's happening with Night Owl is he escaped a cop.
• 1:50
  And so we're going to, we're going to start off with wherever
• 1:52
  Night Owl is and where he's going.
• 1:55
  And you guys can kind of piece together what Grandpa and Hazy
• 1:58
  are doing. Yeah, good luck with that.
• 2:03
  Wait, so the cop went the cop went after night owl and not
• 2:08
  hazy? There's a couple cops, couple
• 2:10
  dead cops, couple new cops. They tried to come after Hazy.
• 2:14
  Oh. God, they had him.
• 2:16
  Actually Hazy Hazy went after them Initiative.
• 2:20
  And I think this all started because he wanted to kick a kid.
• 2:24
  Anyways, mission start, night out, what are you doing?
• 2:30
  I'm trying to make it back to the town where Dottie is at.
• 2:34
  Oh, so you're just trucking West?
• 2:36
  Yeah, Do I still have my radio or no?
• 2:38
  Yeah, you got your radio. It's been on the Fritz, though.
• 2:42
  You've just been hearing some because it's raining and I'm a
• 2:45
  little cheap so I didn't get like the Super waterproof
• 2:47
  radios. God damn it.
• 2:49
  Oh they're like the the green walkie talkies that you get for
• 2:53
  like your like 6 year old. Dollar General.
• 2:56
  Yeah, these are the ones I got at like Walmart out of the the
• 2:59
  bin of used Christmas toys. Yeah, they're from the clearance
• 3:04
  aisle. Ain't nothing wrong with
• 3:06
  clearance aisle, yeah? Can I try to do a coms check
• 3:09
  Dottie figure out where the fuck he's at?
• 3:12
  Sure, go ahead. All right.
• 3:14
  Dottie coms, check. Dottie coms check.
• 3:19
  Dottie, you were regaining consciousness as the radio is
• 3:22
  going off in your ear. Where the fuck are you, Dottie?
• 3:25
  What? What?
• 3:27
  Hello. What I did not hit her.
• 3:33
  I did not. Yeah, can Can you hear me, night
• 3:37
  owl? Someone has to explain what
• 3:41
  happened. I blacked out again and there's
• 3:43
  an unconscious woman next to me again.
• 3:46
  Uh, oh, God, I thought you left that behind in Thailand.
• 3:50
  Yeah. She's she's, she's breathing
• 3:54
  this time though, so we're, we're better off than we were in
• 3:56
  Thailand. Oh, thank God.
• 3:57
  All right. Where?
• 3:59
  Where are you at? I'm in the Tavern.
• 4:03
  Where else do I pass out with women?
• 4:06
  There's a lot couches, random hotels, toilets.
• 4:13
  Keeping it classy. Where the Where the fuck's the
• 4:16
  Tavern at? In the town.
• 4:20
  OK, I'm on my way. All right, night out.
• 4:24
  As you get off the radio with him, you make it into town, into
• 4:27
  the center here. We're going to go up to Hazy
• 4:32
  right now. Hazy.
• 4:33
  Last you saw, some old crotchy lady threw a bottle at your head
• 4:38
  and now you're dealing with that situation.
• 4:41
  Yeah, I'm pretty sure my last words were I'm going to pull out
• 4:44
  my gun and I'm not going to shoot her.
• 4:47
  I'm going to try to talk her down from being a crazy female.
• 4:51
  You think I give a fuck about that gun?
• 4:53
  You better get out my goddamn house.
• 4:54
  I'll tell you what. That much fuck.
• 4:56
  I was quick response. All right, it's.
• 5:00
  Almost like that one's been festering for a while.
• 5:02
  All right, well, she has made a threat towards you to get out of
• 5:05
  her house. Hazy.
• 5:06
  Oh well, if that was really what she said, this just became a
• 5:09
  robbery. I'm going to tell her to get on
• 5:11
  the fucking ground. I ain't getting on shit you can
• 5:14
  get on your nuts. I like this thing, so I'm just
• 5:21
  going to go pillage and just let her bitch amongst herself.
• 5:24
  I'm going to look around. Can I like investigate?
• 5:28
  Absolutely. What are you investigating?
• 5:32
  I guess this table right next. Didn't I already look at all
• 5:35
  this shit? I think I did.
• 5:37
  No, you got to this desk and that's when she threw the bottle
• 5:40
  at you. You haven't checked the desk.
• 5:42
  I'm going to check that desk. You take your eyes off this
• 5:47
  woman for a second to check on the desk and then all of a
• 5:50
  sudden like a blur moves and she is right in your face.
• 5:55
  I didn't fucking stutter, boy. Oh Jesus.
• 6:00
  Oh. Damn.
• 6:02
  That's a hate crime. She moved very, very fast.
• 6:06
  Was that my turn or do I have to wait now?
• 6:08
  That is your turn, grandpa. What are you doing over in the
• 6:10
  cellar? I'm going to go over my take the
• 6:15
  two quarters out of my pocket, go over the radio and chink them
• 6:18
  together like hey baby bird, I need explosives.
• 6:24
  You hear silence on the radio. This is my fault, I relied on it
• 6:29
  too. No, they killed baby bird.
• 6:33
  I'm. Going to give you a perception
• 6:35
  roll real quick, all right? Yeah.
• 6:38
  Nothing's going on, man. You're just hanging out, having
• 6:40
  a good time. All right, well fuck.
• 6:43
  I'm going to investigate the barrels and boxes around me, see
• 6:47
  if I can find anything that can help.
• 6:50
  Oh yeah, hold on one second. Let me pull up what it is that
• 6:53
  you found. Well, you actually planned for
• 6:56
  stuff to be in there. I did.
• 7:01
  That's impressive. Oh, look at you being a good GM.
• 7:05
  Thanks. That that box that smelled like
• 7:08
  almonds, you open it up and you see some explosives in there.
• 7:12
  Oh. C4 How much you know about World
• 7:14
  War 2 grandpa? I was there.
• 7:18
  Oh then you should have recognized the almond smell for
• 7:20
  being nobles explosives in 808. The gelatin type plastic
• 7:24
  explosives that was used to fill gammon grenades and they smelled
• 7:29
  like almonds. All right, I'm going.
• 7:33
  Well, I guess I would. I don't know if he's on the
• 7:36
  radio still, but I'm going to go to the radio to Coyote and be
• 7:39
  like get as far away from the wall as you can and I'm going to
• 7:44
  try and position those explosives to the the wall where
• 7:47
  he is. Do it.
• 7:50
  OK, you head West to the wall that you think is open and let's
• 7:56
  explode that thing. What?
• 7:58
  What are we going to roll for that I don't know.
• 8:02
  Intelligence. Wouldn't it be like chemistry?
• 8:05
  Like Wisdom? Yeah, I think we're going to go
• 8:07
  chemistry for this because you're not the explosive expert.
• 8:12
  Or technology. Yeah, whichever 1 you want to
• 8:16
  roll for that, grandpa, I'll roll it.
• 8:18
  Intelligence. I'm going to try my best for the
• 8:21
  technology aspect of it because. I think you got a 5
• 8:24
  intelligence. Yeah, my intelligence is my
• 8:27
  primary ability. Must be nice.
• 8:30
  I'll let you roll it. Hold on, let me make the die red
• 8:34
  because this feels like there we go 9 plus intelligence comes out
• 8:41
  to be 14. You set the explosives here.
• 8:46
  How far do you want to back up? I would probably well-being
• 8:52
  realistic. I would probably just either
• 8:55
  right or that what looks like that.
• 8:57
  I don't know what that little wooden thing is between the two
• 8:59
  barrels. I'm going to definitely put
• 9:01
  objects between me and the explosive.
• 9:04
  OK, you, you go towards the east while you climb over a barrel,
• 9:07
  you hide behind it and you blow that thing up and it goes close
• 9:12
  the shit out of it and see debris just explodes in this
• 9:18
  place is really nowhere for the force to go in this cellar with
• 9:22
  you. So a lot of dust in the air, a
• 9:24
  lot of shit gets kicked up. It's really hard for you to see.
• 9:27
  But you you do hear something from the South and from the
• 9:32
  West. Oh well, that's not what I
• 9:37
  wanted. No shit.
• 9:39
  Yeah, well, what you hear from the West is Jesus Christ.
• 9:42
  What the hell is that? You're welcome.
• 9:48
  Oh, my skin is so dirty. Or my my muscles, tendons,
• 9:52
  there's rocks in. Everything.
• 9:53
  The rescue team is here. The rescue team is here.
• 9:57
  Oh, she kind of she aching all right back back-to-back to night
• 10:02
  down and thoughty. Since you guys are working as a
• 10:04
  group here, what are we doing? Can I give the woman a kiss on
• 10:10
  the cheek? She's unconscious so.
• 10:14
  HR. So no.
• 10:18
  Wait, why? This place is a prison, yes.
• 10:23
  Oh, so you said the you said the doors were locked, but I see
• 10:27
  windows, right? Yeah, we tried though.
• 10:30
  Can I can I unlock the door from the inside?
• 10:33
  You're going to have to look around to find the lever that
• 10:36
  she pulled. All right, well, I'm going to
• 10:38
  hop over the bar and look for the lever.
• 10:41
  OK. I'm going to roll with advantage
• 10:43
  on that because she kind of closed when you walked in so you
• 10:46
  should know where it is. Oh yeah, easy day.
• 10:50
  Pull the lever down and like all the windows clear up.
• 10:59
  It looks like this house was fucking prepared by Blade or
• 11:01
  something. Nice.
• 11:03
  And all the light comes in, but you notice all the windows on
• 11:06
  the South side of the building are blown the fuck out.
• 11:09
  Baby bird. And so is the wooden front door.
• 11:12
  Baby. Bird.
• 11:13
  Oh, so I can just walk right in? I think.
• 11:16
  I think I tried to jump through the N 1, didn't I?
• 11:19
  Didn't it break? Now you broke all the ones on
• 11:21
  the South. You didn't try and jump through
• 11:24
  the windows on this one. That was the building above it.
• 11:27
  Oh, I think I just tried the door.
• 11:29
  Yeah, now I know. You just walk right on in if you
• 11:32
  want. Yep, there's my big strong man.
• 11:38
  No questions about the unconscious woman.
• 11:42
  Do you not remember Thailand? There's nothing new.
• 11:46
  No, I don't remember it, That's the thing.
• 11:48
  Wait, you found a woman in Thailand?
• 11:50
  No, man. We stayed away from boy Town.
• 11:55
  No, we didn't. We accidentally went right
• 11:58
  through it. Yeah, that was an accident.
• 12:00
  That's how we could figure out where it was and then stay away
• 12:02
  from it later. Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
• 12:05
  That's where the first one wound up unconscious.
• 12:11
  Is that the end of my turn or can I try to open this door over
• 12:13
  here to the West behind what looks like this pit roast?
• 12:18
  You could go over there and try to open it up.
• 12:21
  So the first door here on the right, on the northwest.
• 12:25
  Yeah. Let's see.
• 12:27
  Oh, Nat 20. Let's go.
• 12:32
  It it opens for you before you even think about it.
• 12:35
  Yeah, it's like, oh, please come on in.
• 12:37
  Yeah, it wouldn't even fully close.
• 12:38
  I think that that explosion kind of rattled stuff off the frames
• 12:42
  here. You touch the door and it opens
• 12:44
  wide and it looks like a regular bedroom.
• 12:46
  However, there's a black light in the back West corner, and you
• 12:53
  thought a regular light was turned on in the room, but it's
• 12:55
  not. It's just a black light and the
• 12:57
  whole room is lit up. No, no, no, I swear.
• 13:03
  I didn't go in there. I swear.
• 13:05
  I'm being friend. All right.
• 13:08
  Well, that's it for you in the come room.
• 13:10
  Hazy, what are you doing? Oh great, I'm getting stared
• 13:14
  down by this fucking old lady. I'm going to try for the good
• 13:19
  old twat shot. That'd be a melee.
• 13:23
  All right, give me a melee. So 15.
• 13:27
  OK, you swing at this lady and you catch nothing but Erin and
• 13:30
  she is on the other side of you, behind you now.
• 13:35
  Clever girl. Her turn.
• 13:38
  I fucked worse, you know. Wow, until she puts that strap
• 13:43
  on her. Not again.
• 13:48
  She grabs you by the scruff of your neck and she's like, this
• 13:51
  is your last warning, boy, get out of my fucking house.
• 13:55
  I don't want to have to hurt you civilians.
• 13:59
  You know what? Typical Gypsy fashion, just not
• 14:02
  leaving when uninvited. God damn it.
• 14:08
  All right. I was going to say to her, yes
• 14:12
  ma'am, and scuttle down the hallway and try to hide real
• 14:15
  quick, like still in the house, like out of sight.
• 14:20
  All right, you, you go around here.
• 14:22
  You're like, OK, boy, let's go out to the hallway here.
• 14:27
  I like to picture it as like she was holding him like a cat, like
• 14:30
  by the scruff of his neck and he was just like frozen there in
• 14:34
  the air. Just little feet kicking.
• 14:37
  With my hand, my paws up. All right, now, Grandpa, as back
• 14:43
  to you, the explosion is starting to settle.
• 14:45
  There's the debris coming down and you hear me?
• 14:52
  Oh, Jesus. And from the South though, you
• 14:56
  hear Hey, oh, what the fuck was that?
• 15:01
  Tony Soprano, it's. A gapago man.
• 15:04
  You hear a cop's radio going off and let's see, let's roll a
• 15:09
  perception for you, grandpa. OK, Yeah, as you peek over,
• 15:14
  because you're not, you're still hidden, but you peek to the
• 15:18
  South, you see the one cop, it's a different cop.
• 15:22
  You see a white cop walking in and you see that that Italian
• 15:25
  priest that you tangled with earlier in the whole of a wall
• 15:29
  to the South walking into the cellar.
• 15:32
  Cop walks in and the priest walks in.
• 15:36
  Run, bitch, run. So it's not Tony Soprano.
• 15:40
  He might as well be Tony Soprano.
• 15:44
  First thing I'm going to do is turn my radio down as low as
• 15:47
  it'll go, like just barely till I might be able to hear people.
• 15:51
  Smart man. And seeing as how they haven't
• 15:55
  noticed me, I'm just going to kind of stay behind the barrels
• 15:58
  and see what they do for now. OK, you see the cop shining his
• 16:03
  flashlight all around and it gleams over your head.
• 16:07
  Luckily you didn't Polish your head today so it didn't shine.
• 16:11
  I was, I was about to say this, head shine.
• 16:15
  The cop goes into the hole to the West and you hear, Hey, get
• 16:19
  our grandpa. There we go.
• 16:22
  Now help me grandma. Grandma.
• 16:23
  Hell, you found us. And this cop, you see, drags my
• 16:28
  skinless body out into the hallway now.
• 16:34
  I'll remember this. I completely forgot that we were
• 16:39
  looking for your skin. Well, actually we're looking for
• 16:43
  him and his skin because we need both of them.
• 16:46
  Yeah, you know it's going to take my skin, damn it.
• 16:49
  Coyotes been here the whole time.
• 16:52
  Oh shit. Oh, that's just us.
• 16:53
  I was there in that room. Yeah, I've been.
• 16:56
  That's that's little. I went out with a radio and told
• 16:58
  you guys that, but you're too late.
• 17:00
  It's playing foreplay with this old lady.
• 17:02
  Oh yeah, I turned my radio off. That was last week he did.
• 17:07
  Every week he just reboots. I don't I don't need that info
• 17:11
  reset. That is past.
• 17:13
  Hazy's problem. Fuck that.
• 17:18
  All right. Well, myself and that copper
• 17:20
  gone. And the priest remains, and he
• 17:21
  just kind of stands there quizzically, looking around.
• 17:25
  You see one hand doing the little Italian sign.
• 17:28
  He's like something's off. Wait, hold on, what's the
• 17:32
  Italian? Oh, never mind, I got it.
• 17:34
  Like Bobby the Boopy? Yeah, yeah.
• 17:35
  He's like, he's like, something's boppity in my
• 17:39
  boopity here and I don't fucking like that Cabeish.
• 17:43
  Calzone. We're going to go back to we're
• 17:47
  going to go back to night owl and Thoddy here.
• 17:49
  What do you love birds doing? Nothing.
• 17:54
  Yeah. First off, not going in that
• 17:56
  room. Second off, I kind of want to go
• 17:59
  check out this cellar on the east wall.
• 18:02
  Oh, go outside and check on the cellar.
• 18:04
  Yeah. OK.
• 18:05
  I know you want to go with him. Yes.
• 18:10
  All right. Both you girls go out.
• 18:11
  There can't leave my big strongman behind.
• 18:14
  I ain't sitting in the room this crazy ass bitch.
• 18:16
  Flattery will get you nowhere. You didn't know she's crazy yet.
• 18:20
  Yeah, she's passed out and he was passed out, so she's
• 18:23
  definitely crazy. Fair enough.
• 18:25
  All right, this door was locked, so you guys are going to have to
• 18:30
  try and lock pick it. Why can't I just kick in the
• 18:33
  door? Or you could just kick in the
• 18:36
  fucking door, God forbid. Elbow drop that door.
• 18:41
  It's. It's literally at the perfect
• 18:43
  angle for me to just stomp on like it's a cellar door.
• 18:47
  You're a hefty boy. Roll that with a + 2.
• 18:50
  OK. He said you're fat.
• 18:54
  He's thick with three CS. Thick no.
• 19:03
  That'd be 10. Oh yeah, you jump.
• 19:06
  You jump on that thing and it bows slightly.
• 19:11
  Right now, get on here with me. What would be required of lock
• 19:15
  picking? Well, yeah, obviously we could
• 19:17
  just, we could just, you know, no, no, no.
• 19:19
  We don't do that. We don't do that.
• 19:23
  What do you want to do here? Night Owl?
• 19:25
  What would be the plus for a lock picking would be dexterity
• 19:30
  or? It'd be Dexterity.
• 19:32
  Oh. That'd be a + 3 though.
• 19:36
  Yeah, but we could have like 300 lbs standing on top of this,
• 19:40
  Probably more than 300. It's up to you, night Owl.
• 19:46
  It's a free country. No it's not.
• 19:49
  Let me try fucking picking the lock first, God damn it.
• 19:51
  Oh my God, fine. Don't you?
• 19:55
  Oh my God, find me 15. I know.
• 20:00
  I thought he didn't get off OK. And so you get down on your
• 20:05
  knees, you pull your. I I got off.
• 20:08
  He didn't get off the cellar door is what I meant.
• 20:10
  Before and after there. We go there.
• 20:12
  We. Go.
• 20:12
  He's just standing there with you, hands on his hip.
• 20:15
  You get down on your knees, you pull out your tool kit.
• 20:17
  You set it out nice and neat beside you.
• 20:19
  You're taking your time. You have your tools in both
• 20:22
  hands. You put one hand down towards
• 20:25
  the lock and you put just a little bit of pressure on that
• 20:27
  door and thought he just falls through.
• 20:31
  Son of a bitch. I call shenanigans.
• 20:34
  Cellar doors open out, not in. Yes, but you were stomping it
• 20:39
  in. Yeah.
• 20:40
  So you already broke that hinge, so it's going in.
• 20:42
  So I proved the hinges, but not the lock.
• 20:44
  I could have just lifted the door off of the you know what,
• 20:47
  you know what? You're the GM.
• 20:49
  You're the GM. Maybe.
• 20:50
  You should have gotten off the fucking door.
• 20:52
  Should have what it could have. You were one point away from
• 20:55
  pushing that thing open and he just put a little bit of weight
• 20:58
  on there and you fell through and you actually took four
• 21:00
  points of damage falling through that thing because you weren't
• 21:01
  ready. You know, that's fine.
• 21:03
  That's fine. You know, I can live with that.
• 21:05
  I don't hate it here, that's fine.
• 21:06
  That's fine. Everyone you can go fuck
• 21:08
  themselves. You're down to 24 HP.
• 21:13
  So I mean, it's a win is a win. Oh no, only 24 HP.
• 21:20
  Oh, did I fall down the stairs? You did fall down the stairs
• 21:24
  here and thought it to the outside.
• 21:25
  Hell yeah and night out. I'm going to assume you follow
• 21:28
  him down, correct? Yeah, and just laugh at him.
• 21:31
  All right, he's down there at the bottom of the stairs.
• 21:33
  We're going to stop right there for you 2.
• 21:34
  We're going to go back to Hazy. All righty.
• 21:38
  Well, I'm trying to get out of her line of sight real quick and
• 21:42
  then I'm going to try to open this door to my N like jiggle
• 21:45
  that handle. That door is locked.
• 21:50
  Can I try to lock pick it with the quickness?
• 21:53
  You can try whatever you want, but as soon as you tried to open
• 21:57
  that door the first time you hear footsteps coming from the
• 22:00
  West like she's walking towards the hallway.
• 22:02
  Shit. Run.
• 22:04
  I'm going to try to run towards the kitchen.
• 22:07
  I gotta skip that Adam. And try, you know, turn the
• 22:10
  corner. You're scared.
• 22:12
  You are hustling like homeboy from The Sandlot.
• 22:15
  You make it into the kitchen. Dude is doing the Scooby-doo
• 22:18
  run. Rubber Reggie.
• 22:22
  Trying to dip off into the right.
• 22:25
  As soon as you make it into the kitchen, you hear just wood
• 22:29
  splintering from the living room and you just hear.
• 22:36
  What the fuck was that? Oh yeah, the fucking.
• 22:38
  Pig and that pig is slides in covered in mud.
• 22:44
  We both had pig problems. Good luck old lady, I'm in the
• 22:47
  kitchen. Oh yeah, old lady versus pig?
• 22:51
  Hell yeah. At that Lady, she comes to, hey,
• 22:56
  you don't see this, but she comes to the opening of her
• 22:58
  bedroom, looks down at Hugzilla. Hogzilla just kind of looks at
• 23:02
  her and just like, tucks his head down a little bit and just
• 23:04
  kind of scoots away from her line of sight.
• 23:07
  Clever girl. Fuck that bitch all.
• 23:12
  Right, Hazy. Let's give you one more thing to
• 23:13
  do here. What do you?
• 23:17
  Want to do fuck. I really feel like I chose the
• 23:21
  wrong decision by staying in this house.
• 23:24
  Probably. I'm going to go.
• 23:26
  Is that a door to the north? It is.
• 23:28
  That's where Michi left earlier. Yeah, I'm going to go check that
• 23:32
  door. I feel like not safe here
• 23:34
  anymore. Are you going out that door
• 23:37
  because it's unlocked? Yeah, let's head out that door.
• 23:40
  Let's give you a saving roll. Oh no.
• 23:43
  That's good. Hold on.
• 23:47
  Oh no. He says, laughing.
• 23:53
  You go running out here and you bust through that door 'cause
• 23:57
  you saw a homeboy lead through here, you thought it was safe,
• 23:59
  and you skid to a stop inches before falling off the Cliff
• 24:02
  into the water. Fucking Looney tune style.
• 24:05
  But. Don't look down.
• 24:08
  Bout didn't fall right. You did not fall.
• 24:11
  Huzzah. So I'm going to hurry up and
• 24:12
  close the door and just kind of wait off my next turn.
• 24:17
  You close the door, you just sit on the steps like that.
• 24:19
  Problem is on the other side of this two inches of wood.
• 24:22
  Not my issue anymore. Exactly.
• 24:24
  Until next turn. All right, Grandpa, what are you
• 24:27
  doing? I mean, I'm pretty well hidden
• 24:30
  right now, I would assume with all the dust cloud and whatnot
• 24:33
  and settling down. I'm just going to continue to
• 24:36
  watch the priest, hoping that he turns around and goes back where
• 24:39
  he came from, OK? So the priest walks around a
• 24:45
  little bit. He walks into the other room and
• 24:48
  you just hear him. God damn it, it's not fucking
• 24:51
  here. Jesus, I swear, I work with
• 24:54
  amateurs. Fucking amateurs is how hard is
• 24:58
  it to find a fucking coffin, for fuck's sake?
• 25:02
  And he walks out of that room, and then he heads South back to
• 25:06
  the other hole you blew up. I think it would be really funny
• 25:10
  if he got struck by lightning as soon as he said God damn it.
• 25:13
  Yeah, I was actually thinking what he said.
• 25:15
  Jesus, like Lord, say a vain. Just yell it.
• 25:18
  Out. Yeah, just yell it out.
• 25:23
  As soon as he walks back, you know, down that tunnel, I'm
• 25:26
  going to slowly creep from my spot and start trying to follow
• 25:30
  them. Actually, hold on, while I'm
• 25:33
  doing that, we got the radio back.
• 25:35
  I have eyes on Coyote and the priest.
• 25:38
  I for anyone who's still listening, I'm in the basement
• 25:42
  of the the cabin. Let's see who hears you.
• 25:47
  The cabinet had a basement. Oh my God.
• 25:51
  Yeah, I was going to say what? What cabin?
• 25:54
  I'm whispering that to the radio.
• 25:56
  Hazy night owl and Thoughty. Oh, here you go over the radio.
• 26:02
  But you did say cabin, so thoughty and night owl probably
• 26:05
  think it's the original cabin. I'm in a cabin.
• 26:10
  But we don't know that. Hazy should be aware there's two
• 26:13
  cabins. I don't know, maybe he should
• 26:16
  clarify that I'm going to start following them again, keeping my
• 26:20
  radio as low as possible to where I may or may not even be
• 26:23
  able to hear anything they say back.
• 26:25
  Sounds good. Let's give you a roll real
• 26:26
  quick. Oh yeah, you're just trucking
• 26:29
  along, silent as shit, and you disappear into this hallway.
• 26:37
  You'll appear in the next turn. Saudi night out, What are you
• 26:41
  doing? We're heading deeper into the
• 26:43
  basement. You're at the bottom of the
• 26:45
  stairs, you can't go any deeper. Well, then we're entering the
• 26:48
  basement. There you go.
• 26:49
  You go ahead and try to kick that door out.
• 26:51
  We're. Just gonna kick doors now.
• 26:54
  Well, no, I gotta make sure it's locked.
• 26:55
  I'm not dumb. Well, you didn't do that with
• 26:58
  the fucking cellar. He told me it was locked.
• 27:03
  OK, you gotta try lock picking it.
• 27:04
  But this door is not locked. OK, so I'm going to open the
• 27:08
  door. Open that door.
• 27:12
  Oh shit. I'm gonna close that door.
• 27:16
  Wow. You open a door to a room filled
• 27:21
  with light. Wait, is that the shopkeeper?
• 27:24
  And the shopkeeper's standing there, and he's like, Oh, my
• 27:26
  goodness. Oh, it's you my favorite
• 27:30
  customers who's friends with the gypsy.
• 27:32
  Yes, yes. Yeah, I didn't know you also
• 27:35
  made coffins. That's so convenient.
• 27:37
  I do not make coffins but I swear this is not what it looks
• 27:42
  like. Looks.
• 27:43
  Like you got a lot of dead bodies.
• 27:45
  You know, I gave him the perfect out to get out of why he was
• 27:49
  down here and he did not take it.
• 27:51
  This guy is not actually German. I'm very German, I'm not going
• 27:56
  to lie to you. That is stupid.
• 27:59
  Yeah, are. They in the basement.
• 28:04
  They're in the attic, actually. What?
• 28:09
  Well, Germans don't lie. Duh.
• 28:12
  Yeah, OK. According to the GM, Germans are
• 28:17
  incapable of lying. That OK.
• 28:20
  True story. Hold on, this guy's from
• 28:22
  Chicago. You keep calling him German.
• 28:25
  That's on you. Oh, he's from Chicago.
• 28:28
  Is the leader Hosen? This is the guy from Waukegan.
• 28:33
  I did. I yeah, I did forget that, Yeah.
• 28:35
  So I'm going to go ahead and do a double leg takedown on this
• 28:38
  dude. Oh my God, what's?
• 28:45
  Going on. You don't have to roll for
• 28:47
  anything. This this is a feeble old man
• 28:49
  that you just take down. And he's like, ah, let me go.
• 28:52
  Stop. Oh, you're what's in the
• 28:54
  Gypsies. What's in the coffin, old man?
• 28:58
  What's in the coffin? Daddy people, what else would be
• 29:01
  in the coffins? Why are they not in the ground?
• 29:05
  Zaboo heads are using them. Oh, oh, OK.
• 29:08
  Fair enough. He's very forthcoming with this
• 29:12
  information. I don't think the double leg
• 29:14
  takedown was necessary, but you do you.
• 29:17
  He's from Chicago. I had to.
• 29:20
  Can't trust them. Shy town people.
• 29:22
  And apparently he really hates those shy town gypsies.
• 29:26
  He could have pulled the fucking switch out on me.
• 29:28
  I had to be careful. That's fair.
• 29:30
  True. Do you mind getting off of me
• 29:32
  now? OK.
• 29:33
  Yeah, yeah. OK, you let him off.
• 29:36
  He's like, Jesus, this is terrible.
• 29:39
  And then as you are getting off him, letting him up, you hear a
• 29:43
  noise to the east of you where you came in through the
• 29:45
  entrance. I was trying to describe to you
• 29:47
  what the fuck a room was. You walked in.
• 29:51
  There's a room full of coffins. Well, very well lit room.
• 29:55
  It doesn't exactly look like a basement.
• 29:57
  It just looks like looks like part of a building.
• 30:01
  And there is a door literally as soon as you walk in and you pull
• 30:05
  a button hooked to the right, there's another door back east.
• 30:09
  Is the door South or no? Oh sorry, there is a door South
• 30:13
  as well. There's 3 doors, you came in the
• 30:15
  middle one and you hear a noise to the South and to the east on
• 30:21
  both sides of those doors. Stack up night owl, we're going
• 30:26
  in. Seems kind of rapey.
• 30:29
  Which Jesus? Which store are you going in?
• 30:33
  South. I'm going to check to see if
• 30:34
  it's unlocks. All right, let's see.
• 30:39
  It is unlocked. But before you open that door,
• 30:41
  Hazy, what are you doing out there?
• 30:42
  You just heard Grandpa talk about he found me and whatnot.
• 30:47
  Oh yeah, As soon as I heard Coyote, I turned my radio back
• 30:50
  off. I'm off.
• 30:52
  I'm a lone wolf. Fair enough.
• 30:54
  He said oh fuck that bitch. I I forgot you never turned it
• 30:57
  back on for. The No, I think I, I think I
• 30:59
  did. But then I heard your voice
• 31:00
  again, and I was like you. Turned it back off, yeah.
• 31:03
  OK, fair enough. So fair enough.
• 31:04
  So I take that back. You haven't heard diddly Dick,
• 31:07
  you're just sitting there. Well, I'm going to take a glance
• 31:10
  around and that's a window over to the West, right to the room
• 31:16
  that we haven't looked at yet. The blacked out room, you did
• 31:21
  look at that one baby bird was in that room.
• 31:23
  Oh well, why can't I see it? Because it's X-rated.
• 31:29
  Yep, blacked out, can't look at it.
• 31:32
  That intrigues me even more. I'm going to use my grappling
• 31:35
  hook to get up on the roof. Is that right?
• 31:38
  Walk over, walk over to the roof and like drop down next to the
• 31:42
  window with the grappling hook. Next to the the window baby
• 31:46
  birds at. The one that's blacked out.
• 31:50
  Just walk over to it. What the fuck?
• 31:53
  I can just walk to the window on the side of the building.
• 31:57
  Yeah, I'm just walking on trees. I'm walking on Sasha.
• 32:02
  Yeah, it's a ledge right there that's green.
• 32:04
  Yeah, Gypsies can go wherever they want.
• 32:06
  Really, it's a free country. Unfortunately.
• 32:10
  I mean technically. Ain't no Social Security is
• 32:13
  holding you down. Yeah, you get, you get to this
• 32:15
  window. You can't get in it.
• 32:17
  You can't see in it. It's not.
• 32:18
  It's locked. You can't bust it open.
• 32:20
  What are you doing now? Oh, so in other words, don't let
• 32:23
  you waste your turn. All right.
• 32:26
  Well, fuck, man. Not fighting the pig.
• 32:30
  That old lady's a bitch, I guess.
• 32:34
  Jump in the water. Jump in the water.
• 32:37
  I feel like I should just fight that old lady or try to like hit
• 32:41
  on her so I may talk nice to her.
• 32:42
  I'm going to come in to the back to the kitchen.
• 32:45
  I'm going to come. Where I was, yeah, I'll be like,
• 32:48
  hey, excuse me and try to talk to her.
• 32:52
  OK, you call out, and when you call out, the pig hears you and
• 32:56
  starts charging. He knocks his kitchen table and
• 33:02
  he starts trying to squeeze his fat ass body through this door
• 33:05
  and he's kind of getting stuck but the wall is giving a little.
• 33:09
  Well, isn't she mad that this pig is like destroying her
• 33:12
  house? Yeah, I'm going to shoot.
• 33:14
  Oh yeah, I can't shoot that fucking pig.
• 33:16
  Yeah, why didn't she fuck up the pig?
• 33:18
  Yeah, you should probably invoke her name.
• 33:20
  I'm just saying. Just be like that.
• 33:22
  The hell. That cake's pretty like
• 33:26
  bulletproof. They don't know her name, they
• 33:29
  just broke it to her fucking house.
• 33:32
  Yeah, but then, you know, she's an old lady.
• 33:34
  I'm just saying, like, I've seen enough cop videos.
• 33:36
  If you tell the you know, house owner that their dog is
• 33:39
  destroying their house like God damn it.
• 33:42
  I was trying to yell to her like hey.
• 33:46
  Yeah, you. You called for her and the pig
• 33:48
  came running. You shouldn't refer to her as a
• 33:51
  pig, that's rude. Yeah.
• 33:53
  That's. Sexy.
• 33:56
  Now this is a tiny little lady. She's like maybe $1.20 like 5
• 34:00
  foot 2. OK, well instead of all that,
• 34:04
  let me just walk out that ledge and go to that window to the far
• 34:07
  West and like jump through it and be in the room with her.
• 34:12
  OK, so you go back outside, you just hear her yell in or out.
• 34:16
  Shut the fucking door. Yes, ma'am.
• 34:20
  I'm not here. The whole goddamn neighborhood,
• 34:23
  all right? You want to jump through this
• 34:24
  window with your climbers keepers.
• 34:26
  Fucking jump through that window.
• 34:27
  Go for it. I'd use the climbers keepers.
• 34:30
  So that's 1/2 plus decks right? It's plus 6 go.
• 34:37
  Oh, and that's 1 + 6. All right, you shoot it.
• 34:46
  Plus in the glass it shoots you in.
• 34:49
  Should you land right in the middle of the room, but the lady
• 34:54
  is not at the entrance anymore? Oh no.
• 34:58
  You here, behind you, oh God, I fucking told you to get out of
• 35:04
  my house. And you turn around and you see
• 35:08
  a very youthful woman wearing my fucking skin.
• 35:13
  Not have I? And she looks about 6 feet 5
• 35:17
  now, and she's getting bigger. She's like.
• 35:20
  I fucking called it. I guess I she rolls up the
• 35:24
  sleeves, and by sleeves I mean my forearm skin, and she's like,
• 35:28
  I guess I'm going to have to teach you Gippos the right way
• 35:32
  to get out of my fucking house. Whoa, rude.
• 35:35
  Oh, race is much. She's rolling foreskin.
• 35:39
  What? I really don't like the fact
• 35:46
  that this character is based off my mom and she's wearing my skin
• 35:50
  and you guys are referring to my forearm.
• 35:51
  Skin is foreskin. Oh, this is based off your mom?
• 35:55
  Good thing I didn't finish what I was going to say.
• 35:58
  Do it. That's all right.
• 35:59
  Hazy almost insulted a 14 year old girl in the last episode.
• 36:01
  That's based off my sister. Oh Jesus, that's a nice one.
• 36:07
  God damn. Yeah, most of them are nice
• 36:09
  anyways. Hazy, I think that's going to be
• 36:12
  enough from you. We're going to go.
• 36:15
  Jesus Christ. Move about a law.
• 36:19
  Grandpa, as you're going through these tunnels, you lose sight of
• 36:24
  the priest and the cop. However, there's no veer offs.
• 36:28
  There's no branches in this tunnel.
• 36:30
  You pop up to a little cellar door.
• 36:33
  You know what looks like a burnt up room?
• 36:37
  It's very small. It's like 10 by 15 foot room it
• 36:40
  looks like. I don't know, some place a
• 36:42
  priest would use for storage maybe?
• 36:45
  Very small, 10 by 15. That was pretty much the size of
• 36:50
  my bedroom growing up. All right, whatever.
• 36:53
  Well, yeah, you also lived in a tin shack in the Great
• 36:55
  Depression, so. That's true.
• 36:58
  I miss my great grandma, she was a nice lady.
• 37:00
  What? Do you want to do grandpa's?
• 37:05
  Now I'm thinking it's a Great Depression anyway.
• 37:09
  You made him sad, damn it. Is that door shut?
• 37:16
  The the door to the north of you is shut.
• 37:18
  I will slowly move up on that door.
• 37:22
  Is there a keyhole or anything I can see through the door before
• 37:24
  I start slowly open it? Absolutely.
• 37:27
  All right. I'm going to try to peer through
• 37:29
  to see as much as information as I can investigating through the
• 37:33
  the keyhole. What's your stealth?
• 37:35
  Stealth, hold on. -2. Stealth is decks, so 2.
• 37:44
  Oh, it didn't matter. You peek through the keyhole,
• 37:48
  you don't see anybody, but you see a another door on the other
• 37:50
  side. It looks like a hallway but
• 37:53
  there's like a red and gold rug runner.
• 37:56
  Like it's the entrance to a church maybe?
• 38:01
  No, I'm saved all right. I'll slowly open the door and
• 38:07
  work my way through, trying to stay in the shadows as much as
• 38:11
  possible, investigating and looking around to see what I can
• 38:14
  find out. All right, you open the door, it
• 38:18
  opens. Without a Creek this place looks
• 38:20
  like shit, but those doors hinges oiled immaculately.
• 38:26
  So top out maintenance. Yeah.
• 38:28
  So you go out to the hallway here, you look down to the east.
• 38:32
  You see in this hallway that there is a door to the north.
• 38:35
  There's another door a little further down to the West on the
• 38:37
  north side, and another door on the South side of the hallway.
• 38:40
  And then you see it opens up. You see what looks like a
• 38:45
  podium, pretty big one with a bunch of candles lit.
• 38:48
  And you see the next room is completely lit up with candles.
• 38:51
  That looks more like an altar than a podium.
• 38:54
  OK, fucking nerd. It's a podium fuck.
• 38:57
  Off Excuse me? That's a solid point.
• 39:02
  It's a podium for a fat priest. Have you, have you ever been to
• 39:06
  church? You're making me doubt
• 39:07
  everything I've known about you. Anyway, he.
• 39:11
  Said once or twice. I went to Catholic school.
• 39:14
  I had to go multiple times a week. 1st I'll move up staying
• 39:19
  close to the wall like a bug and take a look around the the big
• 39:25
  room to see if I see anyone. All right, what'd you say
• 39:30
  yourself was a 2? Yeah.
• 39:35
  As you're slowly making your way E, you hear a noise and stop and
• 39:40
  you hear hello. Go, go see what that's all about
• 39:48
  there, eh? And you hear footsteps headed
• 39:51
  your way. Slowly backtracked towards where
• 39:54
  I came from. Was that a Canadian Mountie?
• 39:57
  Like what the fuck was that voice?
• 39:59
  Oh, Grandpa, no, you got to, you got to go backwards and you trip
• 40:02
  and fall, make a loud noise that echoes in the auditorium and
• 40:09
  then you hear running. All right, thoughty night out.
• 40:13
  What are you guys doing? We're going into that room to
• 40:16
  the South. All I want to say is that I feel
• 40:18
  like I was gypped on my turn. But that's OK.
• 40:22
  Because I literally opened a door and then it skipped me.
• 40:26
  To be fair, thought he opened the door.
• 40:28
  You just came in after him and then you watched him wrestle.
• 40:30
  I'm talking about the door to the South.
• 40:31
  I opened that when it was my turn and then literally opened
• 40:34
  that and you're like OK and fuck me.
• 40:36
  We're getting to it. It's called a cliffhanger.
• 40:38
  God dying simmer dying bullshit. Calm down.
• 40:42
  Did you not take your meds today?
• 40:45
  You need some Ritalin. I know a guy, yes.
• 40:48
  I can just get you meth like. We're not doing that anyways.
• 40:51
  Anyways, all right, both of you walk in here and when you do,
• 40:56
  you see a park Ranger and you see a little Filipino boy just
• 41:00
  standing there in front of what looks like a coffin building
• 41:04
  workshop. What the fuck were you guys
• 41:07
  doing in here? Huh?
• 41:09
  I like how his hat says bait. Oh, it does, doesn't it?
• 41:13
  He he works at the bait shop. Yeah, OK.
• 41:16
  So that's not. What that is?
• 41:20
  Clear any any misconception we're talking about a child
• 41:24
  here. He's a.
• 41:27
  Child base. No, we get it.
• 41:29
  We. Get it?
• 41:29
  Yeah, man. Subtle storytelling.
• 41:32
  You guys come in very hot, very hostile.
• 41:36
  They're both shook up a little bit.
• 41:38
  The park Ranger looks to the boy real quick.
• 41:41
  He says protect the others and this kid books it.
• 41:46
  Can I ask the park Ranger if his name is Bubble?
• 41:48
  Park Ranger pulls a gun on you. Whoa, whoa, hold on.
• 41:54
  What the fuck's going on? Protect.
• 41:55
  The serve motherfucker. Pull the gun out everybody.
• 41:56
  Roll for initiative. This.
• 41:59
  Is bullshit. Oh wait, what's what's the add
• 42:04
  on? Nothing.
• 42:06
  You're just 19 4. You sum a bitch.
• 42:13
  That sucks. Park Ranger also rolled A4.
• 42:18
  I get to go first though because I'm one of the main characters.
• 42:23
  No, amazing grandpa, you guys are going to roll for
• 42:25
  initiatives too. 19 baby. I got a fucking 7.
• 42:32
  OK, Hazy's got a 7, grandpa's got an 18.
• 42:35
  Night I was got a 19, thought he's got a four.
• 42:38
  Old lady's got a 30. Just got a four.
• 42:40
  Oh yeah, the old lady's got a roll.
• 42:41
  I forgot you're you're about to get down too.
• 42:44
  She rolls a CX and that's where we're going to stop for today's
• 42:50
  episode. You guys are all in a battle.
• 42:52
  I'm not in a battle. Grandpa's probably in a battle.
• 42:55
  I'm probably going to roll for an initiative for them too.
• 42:58
  I'm not in a battle. I don't think it's going to be
• 42:59
  much of a fight from my side. This bullshit.
• 43:01
  I can't believe the park Ranger pulled a gun on me for telling a
• 43:04
  joke. I think it was more the have.
• 43:07
  You met a park Ranger. I think it was more that you
• 43:09
  just busting into a room, guns drawn in a cellar that you were
• 43:13
  not invited into. Carry a gun.
• 43:16
  I don't have a fucking gun. I have the two people that don't
• 43:20
  have guns in this entire fucking scenario.
• 43:22
  I think the park ranger's name is actually Bubbles and he
• 43:25
  doesn't want to get in trouble, so he's covering his.
• 43:27
  Tracks. That's what it is.
• 43:28
  That's what it is. Exactly.
• 43:30
  That's exactly what it is. I'm sorry, I thought this was
• 43:33
  America. Did you come in yelling?
• 43:35
  I'm Chris Hansen. He's like, oh shit.
• 43:38
  I'm murdering. Everybody say goodbye.
• 43:43
  Bye. This is bullshit.
• 43:48
  Transmission loss Teen status unknown.