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Parenting (Part 2) · Reformed Thinking

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  Welcome to Reform Thinking and our Deep Dug segment.
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  This is where we take source material, articles, notes, maybe
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  research you've sent us and we really try to pull out the core
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  ideas heling you Graf significant concets quickly.
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  Today we're taking a close look at well, what it means for
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  parents to guide their children toward Christ like maturity.
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  You've given us some rich sources on this and our mission
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  really for this deep dive is to distill those key insights on
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  raising children with a faith centered approach.
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  It's a subject that touches, I mean, every family, every
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  church. It has its challenges for sure,
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  but also incredible blessings. It really does.
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  Yeah. This deep dive it focuses on the
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  biblical reasons, those sort of essential content, and the
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  practical methods of parenting from a Christian worldview.
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  We'll look at how a parents own walk with the Lord shapes their
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  approach definitely, and also how to stay faithful to God's
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  call even when you know the outcomes aren't what we expect
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  or can control. It's about following God's
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  instructions for families. All right, let's open this up
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  then. Our sources seem to lay out
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  three sort of foundational reasons why parents are called
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  to teach their children. The first one, and maybe the
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  most significant, is that God commands it.
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  Simple as that. What?
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  Simple but profound? Yes, that's right.
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  This directive, it goes straight back to God's words through
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  Moses, Deuteronomy chapter 6, specifically verses one through
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  7. And this isn't just, you know,
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  an optional extra, it's a divine instruction comes right after
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  the 10 commandments, which tells you something about its weight.
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  It kicks off with the Shema, that powerful Hebrew declaration
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  of faith. Deuteronomy 6.4 Hero Israel, the
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  Lord our God, the Lord is 1. Now, what's really key here, and
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  maybe often missed, is that this isn't just about believing in
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  one God intellectually. It's about the singular
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  allegiance being the very source, the wellspring from
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  which all the parenting and teaching flows.
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  So our teaching isn't just about God.
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  It has to flow from our daily exclusive, you know, heart level
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  devotion to him. OK, so that shifts it.
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  It's not just a checklist of things to teach, but it starts
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  with the parents own relationship with God.
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  Absolutely, and it moves parenting from like external
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  rule following to something organic, an overflow of who we
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  are in Christ. If we truly acknowledge Him as
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  the one true God, then teaching our children about Him just
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  becomes, well, a natural expression of that and a
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  mandated one. It really shapes every moment in
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  the home, not just formal teaching times.
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  So that foundational truth about God's singular identity sets the
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  stage. But how does a parent's own
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  heart play into this, given that command?
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  You said it moves beyond instruction, feels deeper.
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  It is deeper Deuteronomy 6 verses 5 and 6 make it very
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  clear the true mark of a faithful parent isn't you know
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  primarily their children's outward behavior or what others
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  might see a success. It's the parents own hearts
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  devotion to God. Verse 5 you shall love the Lord
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  your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all
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  your might. And then verse 6 says, And these
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  words that I command you today shall be on your heart, on the
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  parent's heart first on the. Parent's heart first, OK.
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  Yes, reflecting their deep love for the Lord.
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  When a parent loves God like that, teaching his commands
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  isn't a chore, right? It's not just a list.
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  It becomes an expression of that love, a way to honor Him.
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  It changes the whole tone. It's just from because I said so
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  to something more like this is how we as a family show our love
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  for the Lord. That makes sense.
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  It connects the what of teaching to the why of the parents own
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  faith. And it also points to something
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  else our sources really highlight Parents cannot produce
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  heart change in their children. That just can't That
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  transformation that's exclusively the Holy Spirits
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  work. Right.
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  That's a core reformed understanding.
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  It is, and Paul Tripp, who cited in our sources, puts it so well.
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  He says something like no one gives grace better than a parent
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  who humbly and desperately admits that they need it
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  themselves. That hits home.
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  It grounds parenting independence on God's active
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  work, not just our own effort. It reminds us that faithfulness
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  is measured by our devotion, our obedience to the command, not by
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  our perceived success in, you know, engineering a specific
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  outcome in our child's heart. It takes that impossible burden
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  off her shoulders. That is, well, it's freeing,
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  actually, shifting the focus from parental performance to
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  God, spirit. But I can almost hear someone
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  thinking, OK, if it's all God's work, does that mean we just sit
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  back? Does it lessen our
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  responsibility if we can't actually change their hearts?
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  How do we hold those two things together?
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  God's sovereignty and our job as parents.
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  That's such a critical question. It really gets to that classic
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  reform tension, doesn't it? Divine sovereignty and human
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  responsibility. And the answer is definitely
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  not. It doesn't let us off the hook
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  at all. If anything, understanding God's
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  sovereignty should fuel our efforts because we know we're
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  not relying on our own limited strength.
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  We're participating in His work. Our sources point out that
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  children are sovereignly given by God, placed into specific
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  homes their divine gift, whatever the family situation
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  looks like. Regardless of circumstances you
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  mean, Yes. Deuteronomy 6.7 says you shall
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  teach them diligently to your children.
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  The idea is God purposefully placed these specific children
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  with these specific parents. Doesn't matter if it's a two
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  parent home, single parent, blended family, stable,
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  unstable. God knows His plan for their
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  placement is purposeful. So this view helps parents focus
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  on teaching the actual children God has given them right now.
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  Trusting His plan. It frees us from trying to force
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  things or create our own idea of a perfect family setup.
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  So our responsibility is faithfulness with the children
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  we have. Exactly.
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  Faithfully discipling the children in our care, knowing
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  the Spirit works through our diligent teaching.
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  Our prayers are example We're called to be faithful stewards,
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  planting and watering, but God gives the growth.
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  We're not the ultimate authors of their salvation.
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  It's often easier to remember God's commands when things are
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  tough, when we feel needy. But the sources also mentioned
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  remembering Maher, especially when life is going well.
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  That feels a bit counterintuitive.
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  It does, doesn't it? But Deuteronomy 6 verses 11 and
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  12, they hit this hard. It warns that when you've eaten
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  and are full, when you live in good houses, then take care lest
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  you forget the Lord. When things are comfortable.
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  Yes, it's critical to remember God and His commands, not just
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  in hardship, but maybe especially when life feels easy,
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  when we feel full, maybe even writing high.
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  As the source puts it, It's a stark reminder.
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  No parent outgrows the need for this warning.
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  Just like kids need constant reminders, we do too.
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  Because prosperity can make us self reliant.
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  Precisely. Financial ease, a smooth running
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  home, kids doing well. The temptation is to forget God,
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  rely on our own resources, our wisdom, maybe even take pride in
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  our children's successes instead of giving glory to God.
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  So the command is, hold tightly to God and His Word, especially
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  in those moments of abundance. Make sure our security, our joy,
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  stays rooted in Him, not in our temporary blessings or
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  achievements. It's a constant call back to
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  humble dependence for us and for our children.
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  OK, so that covers the divine command aspect.
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  Now moving on, the sources gave a second reason for teaching
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  preparing children for future independence.
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  That sounds quite practical, maybe even a little bit worldly.
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  How does a faith centered view shape that?
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  It shapes it significantly. This idea really comes alive in
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  Psalm 127. Remember where children are
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  compared to arrows in the hand of a warrior.
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  Yes, I remember that imagery. That picture tells us children
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  are meant to be purposefully released, launched into society.
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  They're not meant to stay indefinitely dependent on
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  parents for every bit of wisdom or direction.
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  Think about it. A warrior aims an arrow at a
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  specific target in the same way parents are to raise children,
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  with the goal of launching them not randomly, but intentionally.
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  Intentionally towards what? Towards contributing faithfully
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  in the world, using their gifts for God's glory, fulfilling
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  their potential, while ultimately depending on the
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  Lord, not just on mom and dad for everything.
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  This view helps parents avoid getting caught up in just
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  building their own little Kingdom, maybe focusing only on
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  material success or comfort like Psalm 127 warns against in
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  verses 1 and 2. Building the house or watching
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  over the city in vain without the Lord.
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  Right, unless the Lord builds. The house.
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  Exactly. It shifts the focus from just
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  keeping them close and safe to equipping them for faithful
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  living out there in the world God made.
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  That's a powerful image. Arrows launched.
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  It also really changes how we see our role moving away from a
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  sense of ownership, which I think can be a real trap for
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  parents. How does thinking of children as
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  a gift change things? Oh, it changes everything.
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  The Psalm calls children a heritage, a gift from the Lord.
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  So parents aren't owners. We're more like ambassadors
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  representing the Lord's interest in their lives.
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  Our sources, pulling from Paul Trip again, talk about parenting
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  as ambassadorial work from beginning to end.
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  Ambassadorial work. I like that framing.
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  It frees parenting from being driven by our own personal
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  interests, our needs, or what culture tells us makes a good
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  family. We're not supposed to just
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  create mini me's or extensions of ourselves.
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  Instead, we're entrusted with this task.
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  Represent God's interest to them.
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  Cultivate in them a love for God and His ways.
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  Equip them to be his representatives in the world.
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  So we're stewards, guiding them toward God's purposes, not just
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  our own hopes or dreams for them.
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  That's the heart of it. Stewardship, not ownership.
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  And that idea being God's ambassador, not an owner, that
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  must have huge implications for a parent's own identity.
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  Where we find our sense of self worth.
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  It feels like finding identity in our kids achievements or
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  behavior is a really common struggle.
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  It is. It's a huge warning in the
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  sources. Children cannot carry the weight
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  of providing a parent's identity or purpose.
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  That has to come from Christ alone.
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  Full stop. When we seek our identity and
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  our children, it puts an unbearable burden on them and it
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  leads to all sorts of problems, like trying to rewrite the
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  script of our own pass through them.
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  What do you mean by rewriting the script?
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  We'll see a parent grew up feeling deprived financially.
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  They might push their kids towards certain careers or
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  shower them with things not really for the child's good, but
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  to soothe their own past hurts or insecurities.
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  Or maybe a parent felt overly controlled as a child.
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  They might swing the other way and become way too permissive
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  again, reacting to their own past instead of discerning what
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  this child actually needs for godly formation.
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  Or seeking validation through how the family looks at church.
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  Yes, that too. Having the perfect family, the
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  kids involved in everything. Sometimes that becomes about
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  seeking approval from others or feeling good about ourselves
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  rather than genuinely serving God and nurturing our children's
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  faith. But when a parent's identity is
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  securing Christ, it frees the children.
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  They don't have to perform to make mom or dad feel OK.
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  They can pursue God's unique calling for their lives.
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  That's vital for healthy spiritual growth for everyone
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  involved. This really calls for some
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  honest self examination from parents, doesn't it?
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  The sources suggested some tough questions we should ask
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  ourselves. Maybe hearing them could help
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  listeners think through their own motivations.
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  Definitely. They're probing questions like,
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  do I really believe I have the power to mold my children
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  exactly as I desire? That gets at the ownership
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  versus stewardship issue, right? Reliance on our will versus
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  God's work? Or am I upset when their actions
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  cause me hassle or embarrassment?
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  That digs into whether our responses are driven by our
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  convenience and reputation or by their actual spiritual need.
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  That's a hard one. It is.
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  And the core question am I seeking my identity from God, or
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  am I looking to my children to give me that sense of worth and
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  maybe the toughest? Would my joy in the Lord be
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  fundamentally diminished if my children were to turn away from
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  the faith? Now obviously that would be
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  devastating, but is our core joy rooted in Christ, or is it
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  entirely dependent on our children's spiritual state?
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  These are questions that really get to the heart of our
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  motivations. They act like a mirror.
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  They do, helping us root out those self-serving tendencies
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  and align our hearts more closely with God's design for
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  parenting. OK.
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  And the third reason our sources gave her diligent teaching.
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  It's quite sobering, isn't it? Especially coming from a
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  reformed understanding of human nature.
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  Yes, it is sobering. The sources point out that if
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  children are just left unto themselves, their natural
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  inclination because of sin is towards destruction, towards
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  moving away from God. Romans 3 gives that really stark
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  picture of humanity's natural state apart from God's grace.
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  You know the passage, None is righteous, no, not one.
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  Worthless, deceitful, drawn towards evil, ruin, misery, No
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  Fear of God. Romans 3.0 eighteen.
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  A tough read. It is, and for a Reformed
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  audience, this doctrine of total depravity isn't new, but we need
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  to think about its practical implications for parenting.
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  How does it shape how we view our kids struggles?
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  How does it temper our expectations for good behavior
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  apart from grace? So it's not just about
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  acknowledging sin in general, but seeing its specific effect
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  on a child's natural state from birth.
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  Precisely. This is the default setting, you
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  could say, of the human heart, apart from God's intervention.
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  Now God's common grace, that general kindness he shows all
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  people, restraining evil, allowing for good things in
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  society that might keep people from being as bad as they could
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  be. But diligent biblical teaching
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  that acts as a specific targeted redemptive intervention.
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  It acknowledges the spiritual reality our children are born
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  into, a fallen world with fallen natures.
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  Which makes the teaching urgent. Yes, it underscores the urgency
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  of guiding them towards God's truth, not just as a nice extra,
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  but as a vital lifeline, pulling them away from that natural
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  trajectory towards spiritual ruin.
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  We can't just assume they'll drift towards God.
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  They need to be intentionally taught, guided, pointed to
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  Christ constantly. Without that, the fallen heart
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  takes over. OK, so we've covered the why,
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  the command preparing for independence and countering
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  their natural inclination. Now, what about the what?
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  What exactly should be the focus?
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  The sources said It's more than just rules.
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  Much more. The big picture answer is teach
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  the whole council of God. That means teaching what God
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  says to do, not just what mom and dad prefer or because I said
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  so. It's not about family traditions
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  as the ultimate authority or what seems right according to
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  culture, but what God's Word reveals as true for all time.
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  And why is that distinction so critical?
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  Teaching God's Word versus just our rules.
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  Because if our instruction isn't clearly connected to the Lord
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  and His Word, kids might grow up thinking right and wrong are
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  just based on human wisdom or parental preference, which is a
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  shaky foundation. When they leave home, what
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  happens? Maybe they feel lost because
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  their moral compass, their parents, isn't there anymore.
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  Or worse, they might think, well, those were just Mom and
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  Dad's rules, now I can make my own.
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  So grounding it in God's Word gives it permanence, authority
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  beyond the parent. Exactly.
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  It grounds them in a transcendent truth that holds
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  firm no matter what. It equips them for a lifetime of
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  seeking God's will, not just following parental instructions.
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  And teaching the whole council of God, that connects directly
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  to cultivating a biblical worldview, doesn't it?
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  In a world that bombards kids with other narratives, how do
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  parents actually do that? Make it a lens they look
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  through, not just facts they know.
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  That is the real challenge. The aim is for biblical truth,
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  too, as the sources say permeate all that we speak of connecting
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  Sunday's sermon or lesson to Monday's homework, Tuesday's
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  friendships, Wednesday's news. It means tackling those big life
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  questions from a biblical perspective and showing how it
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  differs from common cultural ideas.
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  Like origin problem solution. Right take origin culture often
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  says where cosmic accidents just random.
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  The Bible says no, you were created by God in his image for
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  his glory. That gives inherent worth and
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  purpose in the problem. Culture might say people are
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  basically good but society corrupts them.
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  Or maybe the biggest problem is environmental damage.
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  The Bible says no, The core problem is human sin, our
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  rebellion against God, which effects everything including
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  creation. It answers what's fundamentally
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  wrong by putting to the heart and the solution.
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  Culture offers self help, political change, Maybe fixing
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  the environment is the ultimate answer.
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  The Bible says no true reconciliation with God.
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  The only lasting solution comes solely through the gospel of
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  Jesus Christ, and he will return to make all things new a hope
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  beyond human efforts. So how do parents use everyday
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  life for this? You use those cultural
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  encounters watching a movie, discuss the worldview it's
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  pushing, hear about my truth discussions, talk about
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  objective truth found in God, see news about environmentalism
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  connected to biblical stewardship, but also the deeper
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  problem of sin and the ultimate hope of new creation.
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  It's not about shielding kids from culture, but teaching them
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  discernment, helping them analyze everything through a
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  biblical lens. How does this fit or not fit
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  with what God says? It's about making them
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  thoughtful Kingdom citizens. The whole council, a biblical
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  worldview, and then right at the absolute center of it all is the
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  gospel itself. This isn't just one piece of the
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  puzzle, is it not? At all.
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  It's the engine, the heart, the core.
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  And teaching involves several key aspects.
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  First, kids need to understand God's holiness and His demand
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  for repentance. They need to see God not just as
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  nice, but as perfectly holy, their Creator.
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  And because He's holy, he demands repentance from
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  everyone. Citing Acts 17.30.
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  Yes, where Paul says God now declares demand that all people
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  everywhere should repent. So Christianity isn't just
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  offered as an option. Repentance is commanded.
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  For kids. This means understanding that
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  even small sins offend a holy God.
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  Repentance isn't just saying sorry, it's turning from self
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  rule to his loving rule. Second, helping them see man's
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  depravity, especially their own sinfulness.
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  Romans 3.23 All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
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  This isn't just about big obvious sins like lying or
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  hitting. It's also about the failure to
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  live for God's glory in our thoughts, attitudes, actions.
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  So teaching them to glorify God in everything.
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  Yes, whether it's doing schoolwork diligently is worship
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  or being kind when it's hard and helping them see that root self
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  gratification is at the root of all sin, that desire to be God
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  of our own little world. Like the toddler tantrum isn't
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  just about the toy. Right, It's a little picture of
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  wanting to be in charge, wanting my will done, and crucially,
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  helping them see their sin is primarily against God, not just
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  against mom or dad or a sibling. Connecting misbehavior back to
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  God's standard and authority. Discipline needs to help them
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  see that offense against the Holy God.
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  Third, they absolutely need to grasp Christ's atonement, that
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  Christ died on the cross for their sins, that Jesus is their
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  only hope of salvation, and it's vital they understand his death
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  accomplished something real forgiveness, redemption, paying
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  the penalty. It wasn't just him being a good
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  example or teacher, referencing Second Corinthians 5.21.
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  Yes, He made him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we
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  might become the righteousness of God in him.
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  That's substitution. Understanding this empowers
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  obedience. It flows from salvation, from a
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  changed heart and standing, not as a way to earn salvation. 4th
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  is our response, Repentance and faith.
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  God wants this from the heart. Not just a one time decision,
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  but a continual pattern in a believer's life.
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  Turning from sin, trusting in Christ.
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  And this is where parents as fellow sinners needing grace can
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  really connect. Recognizing our own ongoing need
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  for the gospel makes us gentler, more grace filled teachers.
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  Discipline should always include clear biblical teaching about
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  the underlying heart struggle. Why did you do that?
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  What were you wanting? Helping them see it?
• 19:11
  Admit it. But we can't make them repent.
• 19:13
  No, we call them to repentance as commanded, but only the Holy
• 19:17
  Spirit can produce it. Assurance of salvation, by the
• 19:19
  way, comes from present, ongoing faith and belief, the fruit of
• 19:22
  the Spirit in their life, not just from remembering saying a
• 19:25
  prayer when they were 5 or being baptized.
• 19:27
  Looking for those situational evangelism moments too.
• 19:30
  Yes, connecting gospel truths to their everyday experiences,
• 19:34
  fears, joys, conflicts, longings, making it real and
• 19:38
  relevant. And finally, teaching about the
• 19:41
  consummation, Jesus's return. That Jesus is coming soon all
• 19:45
  wrongs will be made right. This future hope isn't just pie
• 19:47
  in the sky. It motivates us now.
• 19:50
  Knowing we'll all stand before Him should shape how we want to
• 19:53
  live, seeking to please Him. It gives an eternal perspective.
• 19:57
  So it really is about the why behind the what, which leads
• 19:59
  right into that phrase you mentioned.
• 20:01
  The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart that really
• 20:03
  seems to capture the essence. It does.
• 20:06
  That principle, again from trip drives home that real obedience,
• 20:10
  godly change, starts inside in the heart, not just outward
• 20:15
  compliance to keep parents happy.
• 20:17
  So when dealing with disobedience, the goal isn't
• 20:19
  just stopping the behavior, it's lovingly helping the child see
• 20:22
  their inner heart struggle, their rebellion against
• 20:25
  authority where the gods or the parents.
• 20:26
  This takes patient, grace filled conversation, helping them
• 20:30
  understand why they act the way they do, hopefully leading to
• 20:33
  genuine admission of wrong. It's about softening the heart,
• 20:36
  not just forcing behavior change through anger or punishment.
• 20:39
  Can you give? That little Sharon example
• 20:40
  again. Sure, the idea is if Sharon is
• 20:43
  told to pick up her toys and she does it while yelling and
• 20:46
  complaining, it's not enough just to say stop yelling.
• 20:50
  A heart focused parent might gently call her back and say
• 20:54
  something like, honey, when you yell like that while doing what
• 20:57
  mommy asked, it's like you're trying to be the mommy of mommy.
• 21:01
  You're fighting against the authority God gave me.
• 21:03
  That comes from a heart that wants to be in charge, like
• 21:06
  wanting to be God in your own world.
• 21:09
  See how it connects the outward action to the inward attitude
• 21:12
  and ultimately to God's authority.
• 21:14
  It helps them see the sin behind the action.
• 21:17
  That's a very different approach than just consequences, but it
• 21:20
  also highlights the parents limitation.
• 21:22
  Again, we can explain it perfectly, but we can't make
• 21:25
  them get it, can we? Absolutely not.
• 21:27
  That's the sobering truth. Parents cannot change hearts.
• 21:30
  That is God's work alone. We can give the most brilliant
• 21:33
  explanation, the most heartfelt plea, but we cannot force
• 21:36
  spiritual understanding or genuine repentance.
• 21:39
  The source told that story about the dad, Wes, trying to explain
• 21:42
  the gospel to his son. Right, the one where he thought
• 21:44
  he was really connecting. Yeah, he feel he was nailing it,
• 21:47
  laying out God's holiness, sin, Christ's work.
• 21:50
  So clearly the sun seemed totally engaged, nodding along,
• 21:54
  Dad finishes, ready for this profound spiritual moment.
• 21:57
  And the sun just says, Dad, what do you have stuck in between
• 22:00
  your teeth? Oh boy, humbling.
• 22:03
  Totally humbling. It just shows our inherent
• 22:04
  inability to force understanding or change no matter how well we
• 22:08
  communicate. And that seminary illustration
• 22:10
  about preaching to tombstones? Same point.
• 22:12
  You can preach the best sermon ever, but you can't bring
• 22:15
  spiritual life to a corpse. Only God can do that.
• 22:17
  So our children, apart from God's grace, are spiritually.
• 22:21
  Dead in their sins. Yes, we're commanded to preach
• 22:23
  the gospel to them, call them to repentance, teach them
• 22:26
  diligently, but we are utterly powerless to make it happen.
• 22:30
  Heart change is always, always the Lord's work, and knowing
• 22:34
  that should drive us to constant, dependent prayer.
• 22:36
  OK, we've covered the why, God's command, future independence,
• 22:40
  our fallen nature. We've covered the what?
• 22:42
  The whole council, biblical worldview, the gospel, focusing
• 22:46
  on the heart. Now let's get practical, the
• 22:47
  how. How should parents actually do
• 22:49
  this? Diligent guidance.
• 22:51
  Well, Deuteronomy 6.7 starts with that word.
• 22:53
  Teach diligently. That Hebrew word implies more
• 22:56
  than just stating facts. It means impressing truths,
• 22:58
  deeply persuading, sharpening. Like sharpening a knife.
• 23:01
  It takes effort, friction, repetition.
• 23:04
  It requires desire, time, focus, a real, sustained, purposeful
• 23:08
  effort. And our sources stress this is
• 23:11
  primarily the parents job, not mainly the churches, not the
• 23:14
  school's parents, with fathers having a key leadership role as
• 23:17
  spiritual heads. This isn't a side task, it's
• 23:20
  central. And being diligent means having
• 23:22
  a certain mindset too, right? Moving from just reacting to
• 23:26
  being proactive. Oh.
• 23:27
  Definitely. Diligence means adopting what
• 23:29
  the source is called, a sense of project mentality, being
• 23:32
  proactive, thinking ahead, being prepared for teaching moments
• 23:35
  instead of just reacting emotionally when problems pop
• 23:38
  up. Think about it.
• 23:39
  Most parenting tends to be reactive, right?
• 23:41
  A problem happens. We react often based on how
• 23:44
  tired or stressed we are. Problems feel like
• 23:46
  interruptions, hassles. And that leads to inconsistency.
• 23:49
  Often, yes, if the response depends on the parents mood.
• 23:54
  The child learns that boundaries aren't firm, they're fluid.
• 23:57
  It undermines authority. Proactive parents, on the other
• 24:00
  hand, they identify maybe one or two key areas they want to work
• 24:04
  on with a particular child. Then they look for moments to
• 24:07
  intentionally address those things.
• 24:09
  They avoid that whack A mole parenting just jumping from fire
• 24:12
  to fire with no real plan. A planned, intentional approach
• 24:16
  brings more consistency. Yes, and consistency helps
• 24:19
  children learn. It creates a structure where
• 24:21
  they can better grasp the lessons.
• 24:23
  It brings a sense of order to the home.
• 24:25
  So intentional, consistent and involving constant repetition.
• 24:29
  But not like a robot. It has to be woven into life
• 24:31
  naturally. That's the key.
• 24:33
  Deuteronomy 6.7 again, talk about God's words when you sit
• 24:37
  in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie
• 24:39
  down and when you rise. All the time.
• 24:41
  It means weaving biblical discussion into the normal flow
• 24:44
  of conversation, not only during formal family worship times, and
• 24:48
  certainly not only when a child messes up.
• 24:49
  Because if it's only during God time they might
• 24:52
  compartmentalize. They might they might start
• 24:55
  thinking God's word only applies during church or devotions now
• 24:59
  to their friendships or school worker hobbies.
• 25:02
  We want them to see it informs everything.
• 25:04
  So what does that look like practically in a busy family
• 25:08
  schedule, making it part of the flow?
• 25:10
  It looks like grabbing moments. Yeah.
• 25:12
  Intentional chance in the car, following up after they hang out
• 25:15
  with friends. What did you guys talk about?
• 25:17
  How did that situation make you feel?
• 25:18
  What does God's Word say about that?
• 25:21
  Using object lessons, maybe a trip to the zoo becomes a talk
• 25:25
  about God the Creator. Seeing a news report becomes a
• 25:28
  chance to discuss justice or truth from a biblical view.
• 25:31
  Our sources mentioned grandparents are often really
• 25:33
  good at this, just naturally weaving wisdom and scripture
• 25:36
  into everyday activities like baking or gardening.
• 25:39
  Looking for many small teaching moments, not just big lectures.
• 25:43
  Exactly. You can't fix everything at
• 25:44
  once. It takes patience.
• 25:46
  It means being willing to have similar conversations about
• 25:49
  heart issues again and again and again, and praying constantly
• 25:52
  for God to do the work you can't do.
• 25:54
  It's a continual sewing process, and how we communicate these
• 25:58
  things is also crucial. Grace and timing matter.
• 26:01
  It's so easy for our tone to undermine the truth, especially
• 26:04
  at home. Oh, absolutely, Colossians 4.6
• 26:06
  says. Our speech should always be
• 26:08
  gracious, seasoned with salt. That has to shape our tone.
• 26:12
  Yes, firmness is needed sometimes, but it shouldn't be
• 26:15
  cutting, harsh or unkind, especially within the family.
• 26:18
  The sources noted that sometimes parents are sharper at home than
• 26:21
  they would ever be in public. That requires some heart
• 26:24
  searching, doesn't it? Why are we harsher with those we
• 26:26
  love most? Right, that gracious tone flows
• 26:29
  from remembering our own need for grace.
• 26:31
  And Ephesians 4.29, as another layer, speak words that are good
• 26:36
  for building up as fits the occasion or according to the
• 26:40
  need of the moment. That means discerning what this
• 26:44
  child needs to hear right now. Is it encouragement?
• 26:46
  Is it correction? Is it instruction?
• 26:47
  What will build them up in this specific situation?
• 26:50
  It's about thoughtful timing, not just blurting things out in
• 26:53
  frustration. Tailoring the word to the moment
• 26:57
  and always keeping the ultimate goal in mind.
• 27:00
  There's spiritual well-being. How do we keep our own motives
• 27:04
  pure in that it seems easy for our own frustrations or desire
• 27:08
  for an easy life to get mixed in?
• 27:10
  It is easy. The goal, as Colossians 1.28
• 27:13
  puts it, is presenting everyone mature in Christ, our teaching,
• 27:18
  our discipline. It should always aim for the
• 27:20
  child's sanctification and maturity in Christ, their growth
• 27:23
  and godliness. I mean, it can't be driven by
• 27:26
  parental selfishness. Stop doing that.
• 27:28
  You're embarrassing me or be quiet.
• 27:29
  You're making my day stressful. Kids are perceptive.
• 27:32
  They can often tell if our correction is about our
• 27:34
  convenience or about their spiritual good.
• 27:36
  So the aim is their lasting spiritual benefit, not our short
• 27:40
  term comfort or reputation. They have to be the aim.
• 27:43
  We're aiming for them to become more like Jesus, a process we're
• 27:45
  also in as parents. And having that pure aim changes
• 27:48
  how correction feels, how it's delivered.
• 27:50
  It should. It leads to what the source is
• 27:52
  called loving admonishment. Correcting them, yes, but with a
• 27:56
  tone of love and support. That metaphor was used putting
• 27:58
  your arm around him and kicking them in the butt at the same
• 28:00
  time. Firm but loving.
• 28:02
  Exactly. It conveys I'm doing this for
• 28:04
  you because I love you and I want you to grow, rather than
• 28:07
  I'm doing this to you because I'm fed up.
• 28:09
  Discipline that comes from exhaustion or anger feels
• 28:12
  punitive. Discipline that comes from love,
• 28:14
  Aiming for their heart feels corrective and restorative,
• 28:18
  reflecting how God the Father disciplines his children always
• 28:22
  for their good, as Hebrews 12 says.
• 28:24
  Which brings us to the final point.
• 28:26
  Teaching without hypocrisy. This feels like where it all
• 28:30
  comes together, the ultimate test.
• 28:32
  It really is the practical outworking of everything else.
• 28:35
  Parents have to model the truth we're teaching.
• 28:37
  If we talk about grace but don't show it, if we talk about
• 28:40
  honesty but shade the truth, if we talk about repentance but
• 28:43
  never admit when we're wrong, the message loses all power.
• 28:47
  And the closing thought from our sources is so key.
• 28:50
  Successful parenting is about faithfulness, not results.
• 28:53
  Faithfulness, not results. Say more about that.
• 28:55
  It means our primary calling is to be faithful, to diligently
• 29:00
  teach God's truths day in, day out, to model it, pray over it,
• 29:05
  rely on the Spirit, the outcomes, Those are ultimately
• 29:08
  in His infinitely powerful hands.
• 29:11
  This frees parents from crushing guilt or self condemnation when
• 29:14
  kids struggle or when things don't look like the success
• 29:16
  stories we see elsewhere. It reminds us again, part change
• 29:20
  is God's sovereign work. We are powerless to manufacture
• 29:23
  it. So it calls for humility
• 29:25
  dependence. Deep humility, a constant
• 29:27
  dependence on God's grace, recognizing our own desperate
• 29:31
  need for it before we can even begin to extend it to our
• 29:33
  children. It's about being faithful
• 29:35
  messengers, faithful ambassadors, faithful stewards,
• 29:38
  trusting the King with the results.
• 29:40
  Wow, that really has been a deep dive into this call for diligent
• 29:44
  Christian parenting. We've touched on the divine
• 29:46
  command, setting the foundation, the goal of equipping kids for
• 29:49
  independence while depending on God.
• 29:50
  That's sobering reality of our fallen nature and the rich
• 29:53
  content of the gospel we need to share.
• 29:55
  And the practicals too. The how to teaching diligently
• 29:58
  with that sense of project, weaving it into daily life
• 30:02
  through constant repetition, speaking with grace and good
• 30:05
  timing. Right, keeping the focus on
• 30:06
  their sanctification, using loving correction and striving
• 30:10
  to live it out ourselves without hypocrisy.
• 30:13
  It boils down to faithfulness, doesn't it?
• 30:15
  Faithfulness to the task God has given us, trusting His plan,
• 30:18
  relying entirely on the Spirit's work.
• 30:20
  It's definitely a humbling assignment, but what a
• 30:23
  privilege. It truly is.
• 30:24
  So as we wrap up, the question for you, listening is what does
• 30:29
  this all mean for you? As you think about your own home
• 30:32
  or maybe the families you know and care for, What's 1 specific
• 30:35
  area, maybe one truth or one relationship dynamic that you
• 30:38
  could prayerfully approach with that sense of project this week?
• 30:41
  Where can you intentionally, diligently sow God's truth,
• 30:45
  trusting that the harvest, the growth, is ultimately,
• 30:47
  thankfully, in His infinitely good and powerful hands?