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TMG: Tori Story's Breastfeeding Dilemma · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Mums Group you actually want
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Sophie Torber. I'm Amy Torber.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm Kate Torber. And coming up on today's show,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: influencer Tori's.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Story opens up about the pressure she felt from her
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: partner to exclusively breastfeed.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: We unpack who that decision ultimately belongs to and dive
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: into our own breastfeeding journeys. But first, Amy, you're still
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: recovering from quite an awkward incident that just occurred out
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the front of your house.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Not only was it awkward, I actually felt quite unsafe.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: So.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: It was bizarre.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I had a Woolworths delivery coming this morning. I got
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: the text message to come to the door. Anyway, I
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: was greeted by a man holding a DoorDash bag who
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: was aggressively like, is this yours? Is this yours?
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: And I was like, no, I haven't ordered a cheese
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Kransky at 8am. That's not me.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: But the weird thing was my name was on the
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: bag and also my address. And I said to the man,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I have a Woolworths delivery. Perhaps is that in your car?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: And he said, no, I only deliver DoorDash, blah, blah, blah.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: So I said to the guy, well, perhaps this is
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: my neighbor's. So while walking over to my neighbor's house,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: he decided to take a piss in the guy's front lawn.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So I just had this confrontation going on out the front.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: It was so awkward. That is very disturbing because we
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: always have a bit of a joke. Like, oh, when
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you get something delivered, has someone stolen a chip or,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: you know, are they dipping into whatever you're having? And
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I really hope that's not happening if people are just
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: taking slashes left, right and center and not washing their hands.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I know, it was grotesque, but I just had this
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: yelling and I was like, oh my God, what is
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: going on? And I was worried this man was going
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: to try and get into the house because I thought,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: is this some kind of scam? Do you think he
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: was annoyed because he was just busting to go?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Potentially. Potentially.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: But it was bordering on aggressive and I was actually
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: concerned he was going to come into the house and
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Harry was standing right with me. The funniest thing is
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: it turns out he was delivering my Woolworths. A few
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: minutes later he's like, oh.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I actually got that wrong. Here's your Woolworths delivery.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: And then he's like, I tried to take it side.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: He's like, I've got to take a picture. And so
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay. Yeah, they are funny. I locked
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: the door. Anyway, Harry's at the door and he's going, Weetbix.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Weetbix. You know, you can leave a bad review for
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: that person. I normally never do that. But I think
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: in this instance, I'm going to channel my father who's
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: notorious for leaving bad reviews.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: But then again, he knows where you live.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: But how's he going to find out?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I suppose it's like the only house that he took
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: a leak out the front of. Pretty specific situation.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I just don't understand.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Like, why didn't he just take a piss on the
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: road near like if there's trees out the front i
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: mean maybe because he didn't want to be seen but
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: why would you go into someone's yard also after seeing
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: a small child out the front like we were we
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: were standing right near the door for him to then
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: go and expose himself and urinate on the does anyone
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: have a more.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Wholesome story to share on our parenting podcast I don't.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Know if it's more wholesome, but it made me laugh.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: So the other day, Soph and I were at the
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: park and we were packing everything up in the car.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Ready to go.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: And I looked over at the car opposite me and
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my God, is that man okay?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Because he was like slumped over his steering wheel. And
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: he'd been at the park earlier with a kid. And
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my God, the kid's in the
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: back of the car.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: You've got triple zero ready.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: And you know, those situations like in psychology, we learned
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: about what's that theory where The bystander effect.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I was about to say Pavlov's dog, but that's nothing
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: to do with it. That's a different one. That's about
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: positive reinforcement.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the bystander effect where there was a story where
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: this woman got murdered outside this busy apartment block and
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: no one did anything because they just assumed someone else would.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like, Kate.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: You have to go over, knock on that window and
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: make sure that man's okay. So I went over and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I was like. Well, Kate and I were hovering for
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: a bit, weren't we? I didn't have the guts to
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: do anything. Well, the thing is because there was a
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: kid in the back. I was like, oh, my God,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: if this guy's died, like what's going to happen to
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: this kid anyway? So I'm like, excuse me. The man
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: immediately pops his head up. It like gave me a fright.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I just want to make sure you're okay.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: He's like, oh, yeah, sorry. I was just on my phone.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: And he goes, I have to.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Hide it down here so my son can't see me
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: because it sets him off.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: And so then I was like, oh, okay. Oh, sorry.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: And then I went back to finish putting the pram
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: in the car and I looked over and he was
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: back in the same position scrolling. I was like, I
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: was hoping it was some sort of like important work
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: call or something. My son's a bit of a phone
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: thief as well, which is so funny because we're trying
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: to do the whole no screen time stuff, but he
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: is allowed to FaceTime. And he loves FaceTiming his grandparents.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: So anytime my phone is literally in view, he's trying
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: to steal.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: It out my pocket.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I feel like FaceTime is such a slippery slope. Like
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: every time I call one of you guys, Jack's like, FaceTime, FaceTime.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: And it's just so funny that's in his vernacular. I
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: am literally like I should start a YouTube kids channel,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: like a toy channel, because he literally demands that I
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: go through every single matchbox car in this box that
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: we have.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he doesn't want to talk to you. As soon
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: as we called you yesterday, he's.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Like, cars?
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: He's like, get Luca off.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Well, Harry's been saying TikTok, so we'll be at the
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: shop and he's like, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. And I'm like,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I look like the mother that's showing my 18-month-old TikTok.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: He's never seen it. It's just because we talk about
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: TikTok a lot.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I wanted to bring something positive to the chat because
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have been a bit more upbeat lately,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: but I'm not feeling positive today because I am that
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: mad at my postpartum hair.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, God, are you going to say it to your husband?
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Me too.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: No.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I was like, buckle in, Brandon, who's listening at home.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: No.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: My hair is like steel wool.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Like I have reached that part where there's, there's no
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: ounce of moisture in my hair. I don't know what's
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: going on. It's also very regrown, which isn't helping the situation.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I'm getting it done soon.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: It happened to me.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I remember going to the hairdresser and I love my
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: hairdresser so much. And she's the nicest person. She always
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: makes me feel better about my hair, but she couldn't
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: even say like, she couldn't even turn it on.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, we're going to have to get rid
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: of these ends.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: The thing is I had been neglecting myself and I
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: wasn't using very good shampoo I bought some lovely shampoo
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I've been using I thought maybe that's why my hair
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: was dry I've been using it for a couple of
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: months now it's still terrible like I need something any
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: tips that anyone has do you know what I need
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I need time to get a haircut like my I
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: have not I can't even remember the last time I
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: had a haircut my hair is repulsive I actually saw
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: this tiktok it was basically saying that the time you
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: have to get ready actually relates to how much time
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: your husband provides help I'd like to use postpartum as
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: an excuse for why I don't present nicely like every
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: day but I used to look like this before I
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: was so jealous I've been recently watching Jazz Hands' YouTube
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: videos because I feel like there's a bit of a
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: buzz around her and she's recently moved well we talked
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: about this on Friday hasn't really moved to Paris but
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: is there for a couple of weeks and anyway I
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: was just in awe of the amount of time that
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: she had to focus on herself like she did two
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: fake tans in the space of a couple of days
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: because her tan wasn't deep enough and you know hair
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: masks and And I always said to my husband, I'm like,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: it literally reminds me of a past life.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Like I wanted to do a hair mask. And then
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, but hold on.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: As soon as I get up in the morning, I,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: you know, you look after your child, like you don't
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: have time to have a shower.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: You've got to do all your showers at night time.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: And when my husband looks after him early in the morning,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I then want to put all my focus into having
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: an extra sleep.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get up early and do those things.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I think the thing that misses out when you have
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: a baby is self-care.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: That goes out the way. That's the last priority.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: My toenails, like literally I wait until the toenail polish
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: flakes off.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Like it's disgusting.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to make a TikTok about this. Like
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: when you said that you didn't have time to change
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: your pad.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I was shamed about that. That was a bit unfair.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Doesn't even have time to take a disgusting nail polish off.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Not to rub it in, but I actually have time
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: in the mornings now to put moisturizer on my body,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: which is something I used to always do. And it
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: actually has made me feel so much better because I'm like,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: On the off chance I want to do my tan,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: because I was actually thinking it's two weeks till Hilary
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Duff and I'm mentally preparing myself to do a tan.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, do I do it the Saturday night
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: or the Friday night before we fly out? Anyway, and
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, at least I know my skin will be moisturized.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: So when the tan goes on, hopefully it won't go
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: all gross. I have been searching for a Hilary Duff
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: outfit for freaking two.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Good weeks now.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Like literally every night trying to find something and I've
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: not bought one thing yet.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I bought a $ 10.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Top off sheen and I'm not sure about it. I'll
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: have to get your reviews.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Has it arrived? What do you mean a $ 10 top
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: off sheen? She bought some green long, like, because I
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: feel like everyone's either.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Doing lime green or lavender purple from my research. I
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: reckon I'm going to get something on Uncle Greco, like
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: one of those Lizzie McGuire t-shirts or just a hat.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: They've got them from Kmart. A nod to Hillary.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I'll say, are you going to go, I wanted to
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: go very chic, like, I think I've referenced this before,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: but when Michelle Andrews went to the Ears Tour and
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: she did the whole reputation thing, but she looked chic,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: like it wasn't a whole load of crap from Sheen
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: and like glittery crap. I'm thinking of maybe a cook
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: eye top that has a little bit of embellishment on it.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I just want to be comfortable. I just want to
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: have a good time.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Now, Sophie, what you actually need to do for Hilary's
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: concert is listen to her new album.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I have been. That's your homework. I have been in
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: between the Wiggles.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I've got to say, Adult Size Medium was getting a
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: real playing in my car on the weekend because I
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: actually drove by myself.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: So that's adult-sized media. One of her songs. Do you
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: even call yourself a Hilary Duff fan? I'm not good
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: at knowing the names of them.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Because Jackson's like, well, no, breastfeeding's the best thing for him.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you fucking punk. I'm like, have your titties
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: got milk? Because they don't.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Influencer Tori's story has opened up about the pressure she's
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: been feeling to continue to exclusively breastfeed. Despite wanting to
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: introduce formula for her own sanity, she admitted that her
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: partner was making her feel guilty about it. There's a
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: lot to unpack here. Before we get into it, Soph,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: can you bring listeners up to speed with who Tori
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Story is? Yeah, I have to say I do love
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Tori Story, even though we have some differing opinions on vaccinations.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I am obsessed with her content.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Like she is one of my comfort YouTubers. I started
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: watching her content when she fell pregnant and I just
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: can't get enough of it. I begged you guys. I
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: was like, you need to start watching Tori's stories, YouTube's.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I am obsessed.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: She is a hardworking blogger. Like she puts it all
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: out there. She even captured the moment that her water broke. Anyway,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: if you believe it, her real name isn't Tori's story.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: It's actually Tori Singleton and she's a 26 year old
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: first time mom. She gave birth to her son Tate
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: back in June. And she lives on the Gold Coast
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: with her boyfriend, Jackson, who is the son of Adelaide
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Crows legend, Tyson Edwards. I feel like Adelaide people will know.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Who he is.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: And she gave birth to a big baby.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: He was nearly five kilograms.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Her birth vlog, wow, that was actually so difficult to
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: watch because she had quite.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: A number of issues.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: But fortunately Tate arrived safely. Now she's got around 72,000
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: followers on Instagram and she attracted that following for initially
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: sharing about health and fitness. Well, she was a kick
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: trainer for a bit of time. That's when I first
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: came across her. She also hosts a podcast called Raw
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Reality with another fitness influencer called Fit by Lily. Yeah,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: and as you touched on, Soph, one thing that has
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: really stood out to me about Tori, especially in this
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: postpartum period, is just how much she has been working.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: So she returned to work two weeks postpartum And she
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: still looks after her son full time. I can't get
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: over it because when I had a newborn, all I
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: could do was be at home.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: And feed him.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Like, I actually don't know how she's doing it. She
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: seems superhuman because she's so busy at the moment. I
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: couldn't even leave the house. And then she's been waking
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: up at 5am and going to the gym. I don't
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: know how she does it. I know it made me
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: reassess my own life. I was like, could I be
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: getting up an hour earlier to exercise and do something
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: for myself? I mean, obviously she has got a bit
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: of flexibility because she works for herself, but she does
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: put a lot of pressure on herself to get work done.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: So she's been producing weekly YouTube videos. She does two
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: podcast episodes a week. plus doing brand deals for her
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: influencing job. And this is all while looking after a
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: four month old.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: It sounds like she's.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Also never been busier with her influencing work because there's
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: been a lot of interest in her since falling pregnant
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and having her son. And there's a lot of baby
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: brands that want to work with her. So she's feeling
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: that extra pressure of having to pump out more content.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you use the word pumping because she's also
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: been pumping milk.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And exclusively breastfeeding this whole time.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: And recently on her podcast, she opened up about how
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: she was at the point of basically losing her sanity
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: over this pressure of having to exclusively breastfeed.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Let's take a listen.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: I'm at this like tipping edge where I'm like, fuck,
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: like do I introduce formula and mixed feed? Because I'm
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: driving myself crazy with, I feel like I have this
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: expectation on myself to breastfeed for as long as I can.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: And the stats, I remember at the Mum Cozy event,
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: there were like only a very, very small amount of
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: people exclusively breastfeed past, I don't even know, like a
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: couple months.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: And then it's like a certain amount.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: From six months, certain amount in 12 months because it
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: gets so hard. And then when you're trying to pump,
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: you've got to pump between feeds and then I don't
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: get enough. So I have to pump like four times
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: to get at least one bottle. And then that is
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: so taxing on like your body, your mental health. But
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: then I feel so guilty to bring in formula because
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: Jackson's like, well, no, breastfeed is the best thing for him.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you fucking punk. I'm like, have your titties
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: got milk? Because they don't.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: And so then I have that added pressure from him
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: and he's not meaning to like add pressure but he's
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: just like, you know, want to have the best quality milk.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's from my tits.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah. And I feel that and then
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: I put that pressure on myself and I feel guilty
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: to formula feed even if it is like, It's not even–
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be every day. It's like, hey,
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: I've got to do three hours of work. Like, let's
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: just do a formula bottle.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I loved how our co-host Lily was like, you fucking
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: feed and pump them. That was literally my response while
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I was listening to it in the car.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: It's very easy to have an opinion, isn't it, when
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: you're not the person having to do it?
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Do you know what?
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: It kind of reminds me of before you have kids
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: and you're so judgmental of other parents. Like, you see
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: a kid on an iPad at a restaurant and you're like.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, God, shouldn't they be entertaining them? Actually, I had
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: this experience.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: The other day, Amy and I were at a cafe
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: and there were these two Gen Zers at this table.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: We literally rocked up with our kids. We were just
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: sitting there feeding them their food.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: And they were loudly talking about how they would never
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: do screen time for their kids and they would just
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: entertain them. Might I add, we didn't even have screens out,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: so I don't know if they were directing it at us.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: No, but, you know, they only started talking about kids
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: when we arrived. I was like, you were judging us.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know what we're doing wrong, but you're judging
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: us somehow. And then they were talking about how this–
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: mother that they know she really needs to have another
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: child because it's very unfair for her child to be
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: a single child because he needs to learn boundaries and lessons.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: That one hit Soph and I hard. We've been talking
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: about one and done.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: We're like, how dare they?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: The thing is a lot of these judgments we have
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: before we have kids are based on good intentions and
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I think Jackson, Tori's story's partner- is coming from a
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: good place in the sense that he basically said to Tori, look,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I want what's best for my son. And he personally
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: thinks that breast milk is the best. I'm not going
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: to start a debate about that on the podcast.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: I know that's really touchy.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: So I do want to put it out there I
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: don't think he's coming from a bad place. But in
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: saying that, you can't understand the demand of breastfeeding if
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you haven't actually physically experienced it for yourself. And I
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: also think that, of course, the father is allowed to
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: have an opinion, but he's not having to do it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: So I feel like in that instance, if Tori is saying, look,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: for my own sanity, I would really love if we
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: could mix feed and then give you the ability to
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: be able to give Tate a bottle at nighttime to
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: give her a bit of a rest, because it's also
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: really important when you are breastfeeding to try and get
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: some rest in. And I was watching Tori's content and
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I felt so sorry for her. Like she was waking
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: up 10 times a night having to breastfeed. Well, she's
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: also been struggling with her supply as well. And The
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: thing that is difficult is if you have a low supply,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: you're then having to pump around the clock, which meant
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: she wasn't able to do other things that she enjoyed,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: like going and doing a workout or being able to
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: do some work.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: On her computer.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: And what I love about mixed feeding is actually what
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I did with my son is all the pressure isn't
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: on you because when you breastfeed, it can very much
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: feel like that. And it's so stressful when your body
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: isn't producing what you think is enough milk. I mean,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I remember having these pumping sessions and I heard Tori
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: speaking about it and I was like, I'm pumped for
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: like 20 minutes. My only time that I've got to
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: sit down and I've literally got nothing out. And she
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: mentioned how, you know, she was getting like 120 mils
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: out at 2am. And that's when your body's producing milk
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: at that time of the morning, but you don't actually
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: want to have to wake up and pump at that time.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I also find it really frustrating because all those superstar
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: women who decide to exclusively breastfeed, I find that all
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: the responsibility then falls on them at night time. And
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: often women will be like, oh, well, I didn't want
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: to wake my husband up because what's the point?
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I'm already up.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: And it irritates me because I feel like even that
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: small act of your partner getting up with you and
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: changing the nappy or resettling really does help women not
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: feel as alone. I'm not suggesting that her partner is
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: doing it for this reason but there are some dirty
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: dogs who also say yeah yeah you exclusively breastfeed because
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: it means that I can sleep in and I don't
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: have to be as involved. As soon as you become
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: a mum you just feel immense guilt all the time
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: and clearly Tori was feeling guilty about this decision which
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: is why I felt so bad for her that she
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: was having a little bit of resistance from her partner
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: because She said, look, Jackson wasn't trying to pressure me,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: but it made me feel guilty. I mean, obviously we
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: don't know what was said behind closed doors, but I
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: think there's a big difference between saying to your partner, look,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I know breastfeeding is really important to you. What can
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I do to help make this something that you can
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: continue to do as opposed to you need to keep
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: breastfeeding because milk is breast. And to me, it didn't
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: seem like that big of an issue if she's still
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: continuing to breastfeed and also then doing mixed formula feed too.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I think she said that he's all about toxins, doesn't
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: want any toxins in his system.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I think they're quite holistic.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day though, I think the
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: decision comes down to the individual who is breastfeeding and
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: whether it's taking a toll on their mental health because
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: that's something I don't think enough people talk about is
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: how damaging breastfeeding can be for your mental health. And
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, What is most important
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: is a healthy mum and a healthy baby. And that
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: can be achieved with formula. Well, I'm happy to report,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: despite Jackson's opinion, Tori later revealed to her YouTube followers
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: that she has introduced formula to her son.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Let's take a listen to what she said.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: I just know and I can feel that he's hungry.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: And so I made the decision to introduce some formula
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: for his nighttime feeds. And Jackson and I have had
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: a very mixed opinions on this, but it was something
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: that I kind of decided on with or without Jackson
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: purely because Breastfeeding is so demanding when you're breastfeeding every
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: but nothing but great responses from my stories and talking
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: about this and people just being like going to mix
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: feeding changed our life and changed mom's life because yeah
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: breastfeeding is so demanding and Stressful and the more I
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: stress about my milk the less my milk the less
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: supply I have and it is so stressful Especially when
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: you don't know how much they're getting from your boobs
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: and stuff as well.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So I.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: I made that decision and Jackson's kind of point of
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: view was like he wanted like exclusively breastfed for as
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: long as possible which like he was just like I
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: don't want to introduce toxins and things into his body
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: but I've obviously researched and chosen a very very clean
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: formula it's like palm oil free canola oil free tested
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: tried trued like incredible.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: I love that Tori was like, I respect your opinion, Jackson,
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: but no, I was so proud of her because as
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: you touched on Sophie, I think it was really important
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: for her to put her mental health first.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, definitely.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: And Sophie and I have spoken previously on the Mums
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Group about how we made the decision to stop breastfeeding.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Look, it's debatable how many weeks it was.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I did it for six weeks and this sounds really sad,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: but it actually took me hearing that Molly Mae gave
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: up at six weeks too.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: And it's not because I fucking love my wife. I
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: do love her.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: But it's because actually hearing someone else not be ashamed
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: to say, hey, I gave it in at six months
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: because my mental health was struggling. And I was to
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: the point where I was so miserable. I was hardly
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: getting any milk. And I just, I knew I also
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: had the pressure similar to Tori that I knew that
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: we had to come back to work, get back to podcasting.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: And I did not know how I was going to
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: be able to make it work and pump around it.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I know Kate breastfed slash pumped for nine months. I
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: know you put a lot of pressure on yourself to
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: do it.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And I don't know how you did.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Well, I actually did mixed feeding because from the get-go
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: when I was in hospital, the pediatrician flagged, hey, like
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Jack's actually lost quite a bit of weight.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Can you do formula top-ups?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: And I actually love that that happened because, you know,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe I might've felt guilty like Tori
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: to change over to formula. And it's the best thing
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I ever did because as I said, all the pressure
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: wasn't on me. I had confidence knowing that Jack, you know,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: because you don't know how much milk is coming out
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: when you're breastfeeding. And I feel like the midwives really
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: pressure you. Like when I was in hospital with Harry,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: it was like, oh, no, we can't give any formula.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: You just have to produce breast milk, blah, blah, blah.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: And it was to the point when we got home
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: from hospital, this was like three days after having Harry.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I was said to Dale, look, let's just get the
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: formula out because I'm not producing much milk.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: And Dale was like, are you sure?
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Because he had been scared by these midwives.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: It's almost like this brainwash.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, I feel very triggered over the
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: whole thing because we had a really awful incident, which
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I have touched on before in the hospital, where my
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: son's blood sugar levels dropped so much and it was
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: because they didn't allow any formula and I wasn't producing
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: much colostrum at all. He was literally running on nothing.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And it turned out that if they had introduced a
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: little bit of formula.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: He wouldn't have got to that level. He had the
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: terrible jawn-ness.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: And we really suffered as a consequence for the next
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: couple of months because of that. It's like a dirty word,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: formula in hospital, I find. Well, a midwife put in
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: a request for him to have formula and it was
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: denied by.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: The top midwife.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: If I ever have another baby, I would totally bring
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: formula into the hospital.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I would be like, look, no.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: I think with second time parents, they're a little bit
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: more lax because they're like, oh, you've done this before.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: And also, and I feel like as a second-time parent,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: you probably realise that you can advocate for yourself more.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Like the whole thing, when you have a baby, everything.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Is so new.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Like I had this woman coming in milking me every hour.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: I was like, what insane universe have I come into?
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: And you just listen to everyone. You're like, okay, they've
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: said this and they've said this. And they all come
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: in with different advice as well.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Oh, feed them every two hours,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: feed them every four. Like no one has a direct
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: answer for you. And as we touched on an episode
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: where we spoke about Tully Smythe opening up about, you know,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: this shame that she felt around having a C-section, There
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: definitely is this hierarchy around birth, as we spoke about,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: you know, the unmedicated vaginal birth is top and then
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: the elective cesarean is at the bottom. And I feel
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: like there's the same hierarchy with feeding. exclusive breastfeeding is
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: at the top, then it's mixed feeding and then it's
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: formula feeding. And I think it's really sad that we
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: still live in a society where we seem to measure
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: how committed a mum is to her baby on how
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: she feeds her baby. I mean, the way Tori phrased
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: it was she felt basically like a failure for introducing
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: formula and she was having to admit defeat. The thing
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: that's so funny is once you your child reaches one
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: and suddenly it's like, oh, milk's not really important and you.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Become this toddler mum. It's like this distant memory. You're like, oh,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: what was that all about? Why did I buy into
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: that crap?
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I actually remember when my sister-in-law came into the hospital
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: to see Harry and she was like, by the way,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: don't even bother breastfeeding. It's so shit. She's like, just
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: use formula. You just shake the bottle up and it's ready.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: And I remember thinking at the time because my head
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: had been pumped with all this stuff about like, oh,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: breast is best.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, really? And then after, like
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: four weeks in, I was like, She is so, that
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: is so true.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: The thing is like I do really envy women who
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: have a great supply because, again, I actually think the
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: more difficult thing is exclusively giving them breast milk but
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: pumping as well. That was what was doing my absolute
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: head in was having to sanitise the breast pumps eight
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: times a day. I didn't realise, Kat, you never gave
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: me the tip of just putting them in the fridge
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: in plastic.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: No, that's debatable. I think people say that.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I think you rinse it but I think if you've
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: got them in like a big plastic bag and then
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: you wash.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: It at the end of the day. Do you know
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: what also did my head in?
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Any time my son had a terrible night's sleep, I
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: was convinced it was because I had eaten something that
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: had set him off. I remember actually discarding breast milk
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, my God, like I had.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Some chili in there. I had a Coke, no sugar.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: We had Indian one night and Harry slept terribly and
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I remember the midwife came around for a visit and
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: we were like, we had Indian.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Could that have set him off? And they're like, no.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I think the whole thing that shocked me was, you know,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: you go to this birth class and I actually went
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: to the breastfeeding class At no point.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Did anyone say how fucking difficult it was.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: I think it was the most difficult thing out of
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: the whole postpartum pregnancy experience.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: And it's like.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Sold to you as this really beautiful thing and this
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: natural thing that you're just going to pick up. I
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: remember being so shocked, as you said, like you've just
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: come out of major abdominal surgery. I'm lying there in
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: recovery and they're trying to latch this baby to my
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: breast and some other woman's milking me. And I'm like,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on? What was with that
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: football pose? It kept saying to me, like hold him
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: like a football.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I was like, there's no fucking way I'll be able
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: to do this by myself. That's the only way I
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: was able to do it.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: In saying that, or there is something really beautiful about it.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Like I remember just feeling so close to Luca and.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: It just, Oh, it's great for bonding. This beautiful little
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: baby just looking up at you. Do you know what?
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I remember coming home, as I said, day three, and
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: this is when my milk came in.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: I literally looked like I'd had a boob job. They're
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: rock hard, aren't they? It was unbelievable.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Someone who doesn't have big boobs, I was like, Holy shit.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: And I just did not feel like myself.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: My milk came in the day that my son was
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: in the NICU and whoa, that was a hell of
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: a rollercoaster.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Like I was in so much pain, so hormonal, so upset.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Is that the down day? Is that when you meant
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: to put me down?
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's funny, as soon as you become a mum,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: it's like your TikTok feed knows and the algorithm just
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: sends you every piece of content that will trigger you.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: And I remember I used to like pump and be like, oh,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: why have I only got this amount of milk when
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: this woman on TikTok's got like a fucking litre of milk?
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, is this normal?
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: And they'd be like, here's my stash in my fridge.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: And it was like full. We bought freezer bags, never
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: used a single one. I only ever had one.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Bag of milk because I literally couldn't produce enough. And
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this is so sad. And then, you know,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I was talking to one of my friends and she
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: was like, oh yeah, I had to, um, express milk
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: before we fed him because I just had such an
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: oversupply and our fridge was completely stocked.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: And I was like, is this normal? But that is
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: normal for some people.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: And it would actually be really difficult having an oversupply
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: because I've heard people say that it's really difficult for
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: the child to drink then from the breast. But I've
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: actually heard it's quite normal not to have that huge supply.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: And what you're seeing on TikTok is actually quite unusual.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: So if for anyone who is in their pumping journey
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: and is only pumping, you know, a small amount and
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: you're like, what the fuck? Oh, do you know what
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: the worst thing was? I'd be sitting there pumping for
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: half an hour and you'd get it out and you'd
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: realise that your nipple wasn't in the suction bin properly
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: and you're like, you got fucking one side and you're like,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: fucking hell.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: I know, you're like, I have to do this again.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: What about when you, like, you know how that old saying,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: don't cry over spilt milk? I still remember in the
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: morning you'd like, I was like, Yes, this is a
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: great one. And then you'd pour it in and it
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: fucking fell over and you'd be like, fuck. Or there
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: was nothing worse than every time I would be pumping,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: some kind of elderly relative would come over and it
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: would be this discussion.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Like, what's that noise? Oh, yeah, because it was so quiet.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: But then it would be someone's phone's going off.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Just to wrap this topic up, for any mums who
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: are in the same position as Tori or have ever
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: been made to feel guilty that they didn't exclusively breastfeed
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: for long enough, I have a stat to leave you with.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: So according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, less than
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: four in 10 Australian babies are exclusively breastfed to six months,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: despite six months being the recommended target. So please don't
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: beat yourself up about it. And if there are any
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: women who are exclusively breastfeeding till six months or beyond, fuck,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: you need a gold medal.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: I am so impressed. And for anyone who decided not
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: to breastfeed, also, you deserve a gold medal. The whole
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: thing is tough. Yeah, exactly.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm going to
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: try and bring back Amy's iconic or unhinged segment.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: It had teething issues, I feel, but we'll try it out.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: We'll try it.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I had quite a funny thing happen yesterday. So Amy
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: and I met up for a walk in the afternoon.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, where was my invite? Thanks a lot. Anyway, as
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: soon as I got Luca in the car, I was like,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I can smell something. I'm like, has he done a poo?
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: I had a sniff. I couldn't, I couldn't. It wasn't,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: there was a hint of it. I thought maybe he'd
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: farted or something. Anyway, I then arrive to meet Amy
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: for the walk and I was like, oh, God, yeah,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: he definitely has done a poo now. So he's in the–
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: obviously he's a toddler. He's walking around and there's nothing–
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: it's not like you can lie them in the boot
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: of the car anymore or on the seat.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're fucked, aren't you? And I was like, what
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: have I got to do? She ate it. What is
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: that from? I don't know.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Anyway.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: So I had a little look and I was like, oh,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: it's solid enough that I could get a wipe and
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: just lift it out.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Have you done that before? Yeah, I have done that before. Anyway, so, well, okay.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: You went fishing, did you?
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I put Luca on the ground, made him stand up
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: and I got a wet wipe, I picked out the
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: poo and then it slipped out of my hands and
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: went splat on Luca.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: The walkway. So did you get like a little dog
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: bag and pick it up? Like, is that the rule?
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I had a bag.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: If your kid shits on the pavement?
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: But it was, anyway, it just, the way it splattered
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: was just hilarious. Anyway, I'm quickly trying to get it
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: into this bag, wiping it off the floor. And I
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: just thought to myself, if I wasn't a parent and
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I saw this unfolding, I would be sick to my stomach.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Something similar happened to me the other day where I
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: was like, oh gosh, he's done a poo.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: And then I went to change him. I opened it
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: and I was like, there's nothing here. And then I
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: realised it had fallen outside.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: It's funny when you realise you've joined that gross parent
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: club who thinks their kid's poo is funny because I remember,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: you know, we had a group of friends who had
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: kids all before us and they'd go and change their
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: kid's nappy and then they'd get the nappy bag and
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: just throw it at us. And I remember thinking, that
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: is so foul. And then I'm like, actually, it's pretty funny.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: Talking about nappy bags, do you know what I've noticed, Sophie?
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Every time you come to my house with Luca, I
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: come outside, like out the back, and there's just this
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: bag of shit that you've just thrown out there. You
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: should go to her house on the little– Our bins
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: are out the front. Yeah, that's what she does at
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: her house. They just chuck them out like on the
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: little deck out there. And then there'd be like 20
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: little bags that you've got to put in the bin.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, are you serious?
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: We literally put them away all the time. There's never 20.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I arrive at your house, Kate, and there's a poo
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: bag out the front. Yeah, of course we put it
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: out the front.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: But would it? We live in the hills. You think
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: when people are coming over, you might remove them though?
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: But I do.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I'm very clean. But why would you put them at
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: my back door?
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: I said to you yesterday, I said, sorry, I'm just
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: putting this out here because Harry picks them up.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I didn't want him to get into it. Why don't
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: you put it out the front? Because I didn't want
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: to leave the children by themselves. Because often we'll walk out.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Because I come to your house and you escape and
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: go and do other things.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: They will be like, oh, it's safe being here. There's
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: like a bag of shit out the back and a
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: bag of shit out the front. Do you mind doing that?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Billy Madison when he's setting bags of poo alight. He
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: called the shit poo.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Do you know what the worst thing is? Like you
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: were talking before about being in the gross parent club.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I'm that gross parent who still thinks that the kid's
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: shit actually smells nice.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Like what? I'm past the whole, you know, like.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Your breastfeeding and it apparently smells like popcorn and all
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: that sort of stuff. Like this is actually just the
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: normal shit and I'm like, I think it's because I'm like,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: thank God he's done one. I'm like, oh, thank goodness.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: Like it's not going to affect his sleep.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Talking about the gross parent club, I saw Tully Smythe
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: posted a photo of her child's booger and it's quite
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: interesting because she refuses to post the face but will
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: post the booger and I'm like, that's an interesting move.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: And it's like she's too deep in the gross parent
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: club where she realises like, okay, This might be of
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: interest to me and my partner, but my 270,000 followers
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: don't want to see my kid's booger. To be honest,
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: my husband and I, we would send text messages to
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: each other of the booger.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: What is that from the snotty boss? Yeah, but that's fine.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: What did mum call it again? The snotty gobbler. The
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: snotty gobbler.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: And you actually, it's so foul, but you're so in
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: it that it's so satisfying.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, but I get that. Keep it to your own
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: group chat though.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to post a picture of my
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: kid's snot on social media. Sometimes Dale will come home
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: from work and- I'll have this out-of-body moment where I'll
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: hear what.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I'm saying to him.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, and then Harry did, and it's
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: just like, he doesn't want to hear this.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Like, Harry did a poo today. And it's like, no
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: one wants to hear it.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Well, on that note, I think that's where we'll wrap
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: things up today. Thank you for listening to The Mums Group.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: And please make.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Sure you are subscribed on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: listen to your podcasts. This podcast was recorded on the
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: traditional land of the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: We pay respect to elders past and present.