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Untraditionally: Panicking, Partying, and Prioritizing · Untraditionally Lala

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to untraditionally Lala. Hey, babes,
0:06
Speaker 1: it's La La Kent, Welcome to untraditionally Lala. Oh my gosh.
0:10
Speaker 1: Last week, what a vibe. So I had Amber Childers
0:14
Speaker 1: as my first guest on my Reinvented podcast, and I
0:17
Speaker 1: was so nervous because I was coming in and I'm like, Okay,
0:21
Speaker 1: even though the podcast is being reinvented, like I'm still
0:25
Speaker 1: still lalla. But there was something that happened that day
0:28
Speaker 1: where I don't want to say that I was in
0:30
Speaker 1: my head because it was actually quite the opposite. It
0:32
Speaker 1: was like, for the first time doing that episode with Amber,
0:37
Speaker 1: I was not having an out of body experience, like
0:40
Speaker 1: I felt very much in tune with myself the conversation,
0:44
Speaker 1: and that is when I knew, like, Wow, this reinvented
0:48
Speaker 1: podcast really is ringing true to who I am. And
0:51
Speaker 1: that was the best feeling in the world. And now
0:54
Speaker 1: you guys have been able to hear the episode and
0:57
Speaker 1: you've seen the new photo and the new name, and
1:00
Speaker 1: I'm really into the fact that you guys are into it,
1:03
Speaker 1: because that is always like nerve wracking. You're like Okay,
1:06
Speaker 1: we're making a change, but like, is am I gonna
1:08
Speaker 1: like cracker barrel my ass off with this whole? Like
1:13
Speaker 1: is my stock gonna plummet? Am I gonna have to
1:15
Speaker 1: go back anyway? We don't even have to worry about
1:17
Speaker 1: it because it didn't end up that way. So thank
1:19
Speaker 1: you guys for listening, thank you for sticking with me,
1:22
Speaker 1: thank you for remembering me on our downtime. I want
1:27
Speaker 1: to start with this is my first solo episode I've
1:31
Speaker 1: ever done, and I'm tripping balls, Like I think the
1:37
Speaker 1: only time I've done something solo solo is when I
1:40
Speaker 1: do Amazon Live. But Easton's there so I can kind of,
1:42
Speaker 1: like you know, talk some shit, and I feel like
1:46
Speaker 1: I'm not talking ad people, So just roll with me.
1:49
Speaker 1: This is new. It's just all new experiences. I had
1:52
Speaker 1: a really amazing and nerve racking experience last week. And
2:00
Speaker 1: before I jump into that, because I'm really excited to
2:03
Speaker 1: tell you guys about it, but today my daughter Ocean
2:08
Speaker 1: is going to an eye doctor appointment. And what I've
2:12
Speaker 1: noticed is she's got when she looks up, and it's
2:17
Speaker 1: only when she looks up her eyes kind of go.
2:20
Speaker 1: And I don't want this to come across as mean.
2:22
Speaker 1: I love my daughter. She's stunning, but she starts looking
2:24
Speaker 1: like a lizard. And so I'm kind of freaking out
2:27
Speaker 1: because we went to one doctor and they were like, there's,
2:32
Speaker 1: you know, nothing we can really do. You can do
2:35
Speaker 1: surgery if it bothers you, but unless you know she's
2:38
Speaker 1: got vision issues, then like, we wouldn't tell you to
2:43
Speaker 1: go and do surgery. And I'm like, you know, I really,
2:47
Speaker 1: at four and a half years old, don't want to
2:50
Speaker 1: have surgery for my daughter. She's young. But at the
2:53
Speaker 1: same time, if it's something that can't be fixed unless
2:56
Speaker 1: we do surgery, do I rock it until she says, like, Mom,
2:59
Speaker 1: I want to do the surgery. They said, doing it
3:02
Speaker 1: younger is the way to go. Like, I don't know,
3:04
Speaker 1: you guys, I know I'm probably being a nutjob, but
3:06
Speaker 1: this is what I've been dealing with all morning. We'll
3:09
Speaker 1: see what this second doctor says about her eyes. I
3:12
Speaker 1: don't know what the actual medical term for the condition is.
3:16
Speaker 1: I call it a lazy eye, which is like Layman's terms.
3:19
Speaker 1: My mom has one. It's genetic less than like thirty
3:23
Speaker 1: percent of people, which I guess seems like a lot.
3:27
Speaker 1: Maybe that's wrong. It's a very low percentage of people
3:30
Speaker 1: who were born with a lazy eye actually have someone
3:34
Speaker 1: a part of their family who inherits it. That's just
3:36
Speaker 1: what I've been told. I don't know no doctor, I'm
3:40
Speaker 1: no scientific science person. I'm just I'm just listening to
3:46
Speaker 1: what I listened to and spewing it onto you. All right,
3:49
Speaker 1: let's talk about my experience, because the past I want
3:52
Speaker 1: to say, Well, since Ocean was born, it's you know,
3:54
Speaker 1: four and a half years, my life has taken a
3:57
Speaker 1: bit of a turn, and I have to think about
3:59
Speaker 1: things that I normally wouldn't have to think about. And
4:01
Speaker 1: I started realizing how the stakes were much higher when
4:06
Speaker 1: my business manager called me and said, you know, you
4:09
Speaker 1: have Ocean. We really need to get you life insurance.
4:13
Speaker 1: And I was like, what the fuck is this? You know,
4:16
Speaker 1: I've seen twenty twenty where people kill people for life insurance, Like,
4:20
Speaker 1: why do I need it? No one's trying to kill me.
4:22
Speaker 1: It's much much broader than that. So we're going through
4:27
Speaker 1: just all of these questions and the process of getting
4:31
Speaker 1: life insurance for myself in case something happens to me.
4:35
Speaker 1: And then Sos is born and we have to go
4:38
Speaker 1: back and do the whole bit again of like doing
4:40
Speaker 1: the blood tests, answering the questions. It's like a very
4:44
Speaker 1: long process to get life insurance and then my eye
4:49
Speaker 1: situation appears. Right. So, for those of you who don't know,
4:53
Speaker 1: this was probably I think it was in May. I
4:57
Speaker 1: noticed the slightest discolor on my eye and the color
5:03
Speaker 1: was like very like a faint butter yellow. Butter yellow's
5:08
Speaker 1: very in these days, right, But I'm not trying to
5:11
Speaker 1: have it on my fucking eye. I don't need my
5:12
Speaker 1: eye wearing butter yellow. Okay, body cool ie, not happening.
5:17
Speaker 1: And I googled it and it said, you know, this
5:20
Speaker 1: is basically the equivalent to a callus on your hand.
5:24
Speaker 1: Your eye with just like the natural elements will start
5:30
Speaker 1: forming what is called the pininguecula and it's like a
5:32
Speaker 1: very slight yellowish discoloration. There's nothing you can do about it.
5:37
Speaker 1: And I'm like, all right, sexy, fine whatever. This was
5:42
Speaker 1: probably a few months before I went to the optometrist
5:47
Speaker 1: in May. They tell me, uh, you know, not to
5:51
Speaker 1: worry about it at my initial appointment. But I'm starting
5:54
Speaker 1: to notice that this faint yellow spot is now having
5:58
Speaker 1: like these bright veins going right to it, and I'm like,
6:02
Speaker 1: that looks not right. I'm like, this looks like these
6:06
Speaker 1: veins may be feeding this pinguacula. I hate that fucking name.
6:10
Speaker 1: By the way, It's so every time I say it,
6:12
Speaker 1: I'm like, ugh, it gives me like the ick, kind
6:15
Speaker 1: of like moist. It's like pinguacula. Oh, vomit. So I'm
6:21
Speaker 1: luminifying my ass off. That's working. But then it starts
6:25
Speaker 1: to get raised and it almost looks like a blister
6:28
Speaker 1: and it's bright red, but the actual pinguecula is like white.
6:34
Speaker 1: I go back into the optometrist. They're like, hey, we
6:37
Speaker 1: need to just give you a steroid. It's inflamed. I'm like, excellent.
6:41
Speaker 1: So I at this point in time am set to
6:45
Speaker 1: go to film a show overseas. I'm not gonna say
6:49
Speaker 1: what the show is. You guys know it. I'm super excited,
6:52
Speaker 1: but I'm like, holy fuck, I can't be on camera
6:55
Speaker 1: with this shit on my eye. So I'm calling every
6:58
Speaker 1: doctor i possibly can to like get myself into surgery
7:02
Speaker 1: to remove it so I can go and film this show.
7:05
Speaker 1: In the meantime, I have Lindsey Hubbs hitting me up
7:08
Speaker 1: being like I had the surgery. My eyes still read.
7:11
Speaker 1: I'm getting a lot of people in the DMS, and
7:13
Speaker 1: I apologize if you've heard this story already, but it
7:15
Speaker 1: leads to why I went and did what I did
7:17
Speaker 1: a couple days ago. So I text my friend who's
7:23
Speaker 1: like a grandfather to me, Robert Shapiro. I've known him
7:26
Speaker 1: for many years. He has hooked me up with a
7:30
Speaker 1: lot of people in the past. If it's you know
7:32
Speaker 1: something that is urgent and I need it immediately, I
7:35
Speaker 1: call Bob. I said, I have this thing on my eye.
7:37
Speaker 1: I gotta get it taken care of. He sends me
7:39
Speaker 1: to a specialist that he highly recommends. This guy is
7:43
Speaker 1: super hard to get into. He gets me in the
7:44
Speaker 1: next day, he takes one look at it, you guys,
7:47
Speaker 1: and says, that's not a penguecula. That is pre cancer,
7:51
Speaker 1: and I would like you to go to another specialist
7:54
Speaker 1: who's also very difficult to get into, just to make sure.
7:57
Speaker 1: Maybe she does a biopsy. The next day they get
8:00
Speaker 1: me in, she takes one look at it. She was like,
8:03
Speaker 1: you know, he wants me to buyopsy it, but I
8:06
Speaker 1: don't need to biopsy it because I know what it is.
8:09
Speaker 1: It's pre cancer, and we're going to be starting you
8:12
Speaker 1: on five f you drops, which are chemotherapy drops in
8:16
Speaker 1: the eye. And I told her, well, girl, I got
8:20
Speaker 1: to be out of here in a few weeks. And
8:22
Speaker 1: she laughed at me and she was like, you're not
8:24
Speaker 1: going anywhere. You will be in this office every two
8:28
Speaker 1: weeks for the next three months, and after that we're
8:33
Speaker 1: going to reevaluate, and if all goes as planned, the
8:37
Speaker 1: five f you will help, and then I'm going to
8:39
Speaker 1: see you every four months for the rest of your life.
8:43
Speaker 1: And I was like, excellent, Wow, this is really fucking weird.
8:47
Speaker 1: I asked her, like, what causes this, and she was like, honestly,
8:50
Speaker 1: it's bad luck. There are many people who are in
8:52
Speaker 1: the sun all the time. There are many people who
8:54
Speaker 1: are exposed to the natural elements of life and they
8:58
Speaker 1: don't get pre cancer in their eyes. So cut to
9:01
Speaker 1: where we are now, the pre cancer is gone. The
9:04
Speaker 1: five FU drops worked beautifully. My body responded amazing. I
9:08
Speaker 1: had little to no side effects at all. But now
9:12
Speaker 1: I start tweaking out because I'm hearing about all of
9:16
Speaker 1: these people who, you know, they had a headache or
9:20
Speaker 1: they had something on their arm and then it turned
9:22
Speaker 1: out to be something catastrophic. So for me, I was thinking,
9:26
Speaker 1: where did this thing in my eye, this pre cancer
9:30
Speaker 1: come from? Where did it start? Like I I'm all
9:33
Speaker 1: about falling back when something makes sense the whole, you know,
9:37
Speaker 1: just bad luck. There's no reason it doesn't work for me,
9:41
Speaker 1: even though that could very well be the case. Right again,
9:44
Speaker 1: I'm no doctor, so I reached out to Preneuvo. For
9:49
Speaker 1: those of you who don't know what Preneuvo is, they
9:54
Speaker 1: do MRI scans. They do it for your head. They
9:57
Speaker 1: also do full body and because this thing in my eye,
10:01
Speaker 1: I've been experiencing weird, tingling sensations that go from the
10:06
Speaker 1: center of my head up to the top. I don't
10:09
Speaker 1: get headaches often, but I do suffer from migraines on occasion,
10:15
Speaker 1: which is why I also love botox. I love it
10:18
Speaker 1: because it de wrinkles my forehead and makes my forehead
10:21
Speaker 1: look like glass, but it also minimizes my migraines. So
10:26
Speaker 1: I was like, I got to get in just for
10:28
Speaker 1: peace of mind. And let's remember, I want to say
10:32
Speaker 1: that I live a pretty healthy lifestyle now, like it's
10:35
Speaker 1: well balanced. I exercise, I feel like I eat well
10:39
Speaker 1: on occasional smack McDonald's, like who doesn't. But also I
10:44
Speaker 1: have to remember what I did in my past. I
10:48
Speaker 1: was a heavy drinker back in the day. I was
10:51
Speaker 1: a vapor back in the day, And I just want
10:54
Speaker 1: to make sure that all of those things, although I
10:56
Speaker 1: don't do them now, have they followed me in too
11:00
Speaker 1: thirty five And there's just so many things that we
11:04
Speaker 1: talk about and hear about it. It's like the microplastics,
11:06
Speaker 1: and then you hear about someone who lived such a
11:09
Speaker 1: healthy lifestyle and like dropped dead from a heart attack.
11:13
Speaker 1: I want to know what the fuck is going on
11:16
Speaker 1: in my body period. I'm going to read this on here.
11:19
Speaker 1: A preneuvo scan is whole body MRI scan that detects
11:23
Speaker 1: over five hundred potential medical conditions, including cancers, cys aneurysms,
11:29
Speaker 1: often before symptoms even appear. So this is what I
11:34
Speaker 1: was told when I went in and they were walking
11:36
Speaker 1: me through it. They said, the reason why cancer is
11:40
Speaker 1: such a terrifying word is because there's no symptoms, and
11:45
Speaker 1: by the time you catch it, you're in stage three
11:48
Speaker 1: or four. So what if there was a machine that
11:52
Speaker 1: you could do once a year that could catch it
11:56
Speaker 1: before you hit those stages where the survival rate is
12:02
Speaker 1: ninety percent plus. I like those odds. I'm not a gambler,
12:06
Speaker 1: But if you're telling me that you can put me
12:08
Speaker 1: in a machine once a year and look at every
12:11
Speaker 1: single thing in my body and then send me off
12:13
Speaker 1: to the races, knowing that my children will not have
12:16
Speaker 1: to use the life insurance that I've gotten for them, like,
12:20
Speaker 1: I want to do that. So I go in the
12:35
Speaker 1: first question, though, you guys are like, so are you claustrophobic?
12:38
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I mean, I don't know what are
12:41
Speaker 1: you putting me in here? I've never done this before,
12:43
Speaker 1: Like I don't think I am, but like, no one's
12:46
Speaker 1: putting me in small tubes on the rag, So I'm like,
12:50
Speaker 1: not really sure before we even start or if you
12:54
Speaker 1: guys ever choose to do this, which I highly recommend
12:58
Speaker 1: if you are claustrophobic, I most definitely take like a
13:01
Speaker 1: beta blocker and on the form with prenuvo that they
13:04
Speaker 1: send you that you fill out, like one of the
13:06
Speaker 1: first questions is are you claustrophobic? If you are, they'll
13:09
Speaker 1: prescribe something to you at your pharmacy and all will
13:12
Speaker 1: be good. Let me tell you something. This place, this
13:16
Speaker 1: is what I'm gonna rave about the most. They put
13:19
Speaker 1: Netflix on for me. I literally walk in there like
13:22
Speaker 1: are you claustrophobic? I said, we're gonna find out together,
13:27
Speaker 1: and they said would you like Netflix? And I was like,
13:30
Speaker 1: Seinfeld is on Netflix, so that's gonna be a fuck
13:32
Speaker 1: yeah for me. And the way that they lay you
13:35
Speaker 1: in there, I'm like, oh, this is totally fun and
13:38
Speaker 1: like I'm vibing. Oh no, oh no, bitches, just see
13:41
Speaker 1: you wait because I'm like, this is how it is.
13:43
Speaker 1: They're gonna shoot me through the two I'm gonna have
13:45
Speaker 1: a heyday. Oh my god. They're like patting my legs.
13:50
Speaker 1: They've got something over my legs and I'm like, okay,
13:52
Speaker 1: that's kind of nice. It moves to my size that
13:54
Speaker 1: they pad and I'm like, right, it's like a way
13:57
Speaker 1: to blink it. We're fine. Then my stomach and I
13:59
Speaker 1: was like all right now, now I'm starting to feel
14:02
Speaker 1: like I'm panicking. Then they put something over your face,
14:08
Speaker 1: your head from here down to maybe like mid tit
14:13
Speaker 1: maybe chest, I don't know, depending if you have fake
14:16
Speaker 1: boobs or not. And there's the smallest little hole at
14:20
Speaker 1: the top of you, guys, and I was like, okay,
14:22
Speaker 1: law you know what, You're a fucking bad bitch. This
14:26
Speaker 1: is where you're gonna sit and you're going to you
14:29
Speaker 1: preach all the time about like if your mind is
14:31
Speaker 1: powerful enough to talk you into something, it's most certainly
14:35
Speaker 1: powerful enough to talk you out of something. So I'm
14:38
Speaker 1: actively talking myself out of claustrophobia. It was the most
14:41
Speaker 1: difficult thing I've ever fucking done, because like, too late, man,
14:44
Speaker 1: they can't prescribe me something like at my pharmacy. We're here.
14:49
Speaker 1: Then they put this like mirror on top of it,
14:52
Speaker 1: so through the hole there's a big screen TV in
14:55
Speaker 1: the back of you, and the mirror shows you Seinfeld
14:58
Speaker 1: or whatever you want to watch. I highly recommend Seinfeld
15:01
Speaker 1: because they put me into the thing and in the headphones,
15:05
Speaker 1: you guys put me into the MRI machine. In the headphones,
15:09
Speaker 1: I'm like balls deep Overary's Deep and Seinfeld and just
15:12
Speaker 1: living my best life. They're telling me what to do,
15:15
Speaker 1: like breathe in, breathe out. If it's a woman like it,
15:19
Speaker 1: like an AI character, breathe in, breathe out, hold your breath.
15:25
Speaker 1: And there were a few times that I was so
15:27
Speaker 1: so dout watching Seinfeld. I didn't fucking do it. I
15:30
Speaker 1: was chilling. I'm sure they were looking at my brain activity,
15:34
Speaker 1: being like this woman might be brainde because there's not
15:39
Speaker 1: much happening, not much brain activity. He would come through
15:42
Speaker 1: the guy like running the machine. He'd come through on
15:44
Speaker 1: the speaker and be like, Hey, so we're just gonna
15:46
Speaker 1: do that again. If you could just listen to the woman,
15:48
Speaker 1: she's gonna tell you exactly what to do. When you
15:51
Speaker 1: just have to follow exactly what she tells you to
15:53
Speaker 1: do him like, you would think that's simple, right, You
15:56
Speaker 1: would think that's a simple thing to do. So I
16:00
Speaker 1: will say the overall of like if you're claustrophobic, totally easy.
16:05
Speaker 1: If you get claustrophobic, take a beta blocker. They have
16:08
Speaker 1: twenty two locations prenew Vo does, and they have said
16:12
Speaker 1: that their goal is to have some They want it
16:17
Speaker 1: in every major city so that no matter where you
16:19
Speaker 1: are in the United States, there's one that you can
16:22
Speaker 1: drive to. And I loved this because when I was
16:26
Speaker 1: talking to I guess the tech she was so kind,
16:35
Speaker 1: but she was like, if you think about it, when
16:38
Speaker 1: you go into a doctor, you're allotted. Let's just say
16:43
Speaker 1: an average, give or take of seven minutes. They have
16:45
Speaker 1: seven minutes per patient, and you, in that moment, are
16:51
Speaker 1: a statistic to them. No, doctors do great work. I
16:54
Speaker 1: don't want to dismiss what doctors do for us, like
16:57
Speaker 1: I'm all about science and all of the thing. But
17:01
Speaker 1: she put it so perfectly. You at thirty five years old, La, La,
17:04
Speaker 1: You go into a doctor and you say, I'm having
17:07
Speaker 1: something going on in my head. I'm concerned. Tell me
17:11
Speaker 1: what you're feeling. I'm feeling this. I'm concerned that I
17:15
Speaker 1: may have something going on in my head, tumor whatever
17:20
Speaker 1: word you want to place in there. They're immediately going
17:23
Speaker 1: to say, from her chart, she's thirty five years old,
17:27
Speaker 1: she doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. They're going to say, statistically,
17:30
Speaker 1: this is a healthy human. The likelihood of her having
17:35
Speaker 1: a brain tumor is very low. They're not going to
17:38
Speaker 1: give you an MRI. It's basically like a prescription. A
17:42
Speaker 1: doctor prescribes you a pill. A doctor prescribes you an MRI,
17:47
Speaker 1: and those MRIs that you have done run upwards. And
17:51
Speaker 1: this blew my mind when she told me this run
17:54
Speaker 1: upwards of twenty thousand dollars and they take three to
17:58
Speaker 1: four hours to do a full body MRI. Preneuvo has
18:06
Speaker 1: the location I went to. They have five machines. The
18:10
Speaker 1: overall appointment in total was seventy minutes. I was in
18:14
Speaker 1: the machine for forty five So for context, I watched
18:19
Speaker 1: two episodes of Seinfeld and then the beginning stand up
18:23
Speaker 1: part of like Jerry Seinfeld. That's that's how long the
18:26
Speaker 1: appointment while I was in the machine. And these full
18:32
Speaker 1: body scans at Preneuvo are twenty five hundred dollars. Now,
18:37
Speaker 1: I know that everyone is going to hear that. I
18:39
Speaker 1: know that that is. That's a lot of money that
18:42
Speaker 1: is not lost on me. If we're going to compare
18:46
Speaker 1: twenty five hundred dollars, No one needs to say to you, yes,
18:51
Speaker 1: this is what you need. I'm going to give you
18:53
Speaker 1: a phone number. You're gonna call them, tell them that
18:55
Speaker 1: this is your doctor. I'll send over your paperwork. You
18:57
Speaker 1: literally pick up the phone, you call them, and you say,
19:00
Speaker 1: I want a full body MRI. No questions asked, You're there, right,
19:06
Speaker 1: you can get the sky on twenty five hundred dollars.
19:09
Speaker 1: I know it's a lot of money, but that compared
19:11
Speaker 1: to twenty thousand plus to see what's going on in
19:16
Speaker 1: your body. There's nothing more important than your health. My
19:21
Speaker 1: mom has always said, without your health, you have nothing.
19:25
Speaker 1: You would have all the money in the world, you
19:26
Speaker 1: could be doing all of the funniest, most fantastic things
19:30
Speaker 1: on the planet. If you're not healthy, there's a really,
19:34
Speaker 1: really big problem. Right, you can't live a happy life.
19:38
Speaker 1: So I don't know when it switched for me. I
19:42
Speaker 1: used to be in the mindset of keeping my blinders
19:46
Speaker 1: on and not knowing something. I'm better off because then
19:50
Speaker 1: I'll stress about it. But there's so many things that
19:55
Speaker 1: you could be feeling in your legs, your arms, your back,
20:00
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. And the tech was talking to
20:03
Speaker 1: me saying, you know, you could be feeling something in
20:05
Speaker 1: your head and it has nothing to do with your head,
20:07
Speaker 1: because your body, it's all connected, it's all firing to
20:11
Speaker 1: each other. And what this scan is going to do
20:13
Speaker 1: is get to the root of the problem. And you know,
20:18
Speaker 1: me thinking about my health. You know, I think most
20:21
Speaker 1: people that listen to this podcast, you know, we have
20:25
Speaker 1: loved ones, we're parents. We think about what life would
20:30
Speaker 1: be like if we weren't here. Anymore, at least I
20:34
Speaker 1: do since I had children and I have a very
20:38
Speaker 1: as you guys know, untraditional households. I have a four
20:43
Speaker 1: year old Ocean with somebody. She has a dad. It's
20:47
Speaker 1: very not normal, but I had her the old fashioned way,
20:51
Speaker 1: and then Sosa, who was conceived via donor. If something
20:56
Speaker 1: were to happen to me, you guys, I'm not going
20:59
Speaker 1: to get a mo I'm going to keep my head
21:01
Speaker 1: on straight and breathe. Something were to happen to me,
21:06
Speaker 1: And I thought about this while I was doing my
21:09
Speaker 1: life insurance as well. Ocean has a dad, so we
21:14
Speaker 1: know where where she would go. And there is a
21:19
Speaker 1: very high possibility because I don't trust the other side
21:24
Speaker 1: and the other side probably doesn't trust me, and that's fine.
21:26
Speaker 1: It is what it is. There's a high possibility that
21:29
Speaker 1: my brother, my mom, and Sosa, Ocean's sister would never
21:37
Speaker 1: see Ocean again till you know, she was old enough
21:42
Speaker 1: to reach out. That would be a possibility, and that's
21:47
Speaker 1: something that has always weighed heavy on me, and I've
21:51
Speaker 1: put in in paperwork. You know, if something happens to me,
21:56
Speaker 1: there needs to be a significant amount of money that
21:59
Speaker 1: goes to my family. Not just to take care of them,
22:03
Speaker 1: but if they need to fight for ocean, they have
22:05
Speaker 1: the means to do so. Sosa. I know this sounds horrible.
22:11
Speaker 1: If I weren't here anymore, this is so morbid. I'm
22:13
Speaker 1: sorry that I'm even going here, but I think it's
22:15
Speaker 1: important to talk about because we all need to be
22:18
Speaker 1: on our game and have a plan B. I live
22:20
Speaker 1: by a plan B, Sosa, I worry less about because
22:26
Speaker 1: if something were to happen to me, I know that
22:28
Speaker 1: she is in the best of hands. She's got my mom,
22:31
Speaker 1: she's got my brother. But the real reasoning for me
22:39
Speaker 1: going into preneuvo was to know that God forbid, I
22:46
Speaker 1: have something going on which I don't have the results
22:48
Speaker 1: back yet I will be able to get a hold
22:52
Speaker 1: of it before it's too late, and if everything goes
22:56
Speaker 1: to shit for real, I just want to know what's
22:59
Speaker 1: going going on so that my girls are going to
23:02
Speaker 1: have each other. I know that sounds so dark, but
23:05
Speaker 1: that's where my mind goes when I think about things
23:08
Speaker 1: like this. So that's where my mind goes. And I'm
23:12
Speaker 1: sorry that I got maybe a little too deep and
23:16
Speaker 1: dark and a little morbid, but that's just the way
23:20
Speaker 1: my perspective and life and outlook have shifted since since
23:26
Speaker 1: having kids, and I know I'm not the only one
23:29
Speaker 1: who who looks at life this way. I really really
23:34
Speaker 1: do take I like to think great care of myself.
23:40
Speaker 1: You know, my kids are my number one priority and
23:44
Speaker 1: I live and breathe for them. They're the They're the
23:48
Speaker 1: besides my sobriety, because without my sobriety, I wouldn't be
23:51
Speaker 1: able to do any of the things I do. But
23:54
Speaker 1: they're the proudest thing that I have ever done in
23:57
Speaker 1: my life. And without me taking care of myself, everything
24:04
Speaker 1: is just kind of gonna fall apart. And I do
24:08
Speaker 1: when people ask me when they say, how do you balance?
24:11
Speaker 1: How do you prioritize? And that's not always easy, and
24:13
Speaker 1: I understand that. You know, it's hard when we're waking
24:18
Speaker 1: up and taking care of kids, making lunches, doing drop off.
24:23
Speaker 1: You know you could fit time before all of that
24:26
Speaker 1: to go work out, But like, who wants to fucking
24:29
Speaker 1: do that? Or this sounds like so much fun, you guys,
24:33
Speaker 1: after the longest day of taking care of everybody else,
24:37
Speaker 1: then you go work out. I'm not trying to fucking
24:39
Speaker 1: do that either, Like it's a lot. The balancing act
24:43
Speaker 1: you are seen, I am with you. There's got to
24:48
Speaker 1: be a version of us being able to be present
24:52
Speaker 1: for our families and also taking care of ourselves. So
24:55
Speaker 1: I'm going to be totally honest. When the clock hits
24:59
Speaker 1: a certain point at night and my daughter, Ocean, who
25:03
Speaker 1: still sleeps with me, you guys, and you know, last
25:05
Speaker 1: night she was moving all over the bed and I
25:08
Speaker 1: was like, that's it. Tomorrow night, she's going in her
25:10
Speaker 1: own bed. We're gonna start sleeping in our own bed.
25:12
Speaker 1: And I had a moment of pause, going if I
25:16
Speaker 1: put her in her own bed, that's another phase of
25:20
Speaker 1: life that has just closed that will never come back.
25:23
Speaker 1: And then of course I cry because that's just who
25:26
Speaker 1: I am. And I'm like, okay, we're not putting her
25:29
Speaker 1: in her own bed because I'm gonna miss the moving around.
25:31
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for that phase to close. We'll just
25:34
Speaker 1: wake up and look tired and puffy every day, like
25:36
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck, right, we'll look hot at
25:38
Speaker 1: some point. Again, today's not the day. Tomorrow won't be either.
25:41
Speaker 1: We've got makeup. Fuck it. So Ocean sleeps with me,
25:56
Speaker 1: but there are times where she'll get out of bed
25:58
Speaker 1: like I'm very I don't want to I say strict,
26:01
Speaker 1: but I'm I like my routine. I am a virgo.
26:05
Speaker 1: If the wind blows in a direction that I was
26:09
Speaker 1: not planning, I panic, so I start. I remember saying
26:14
Speaker 1: to my mom the other day, because she was like,
26:15
Speaker 1: we're gonna bake cookies. I go, it's five thirty and
26:19
Speaker 1: my mom goes, ooh. I was like, I'm such a
26:23
Speaker 1: fucking square. But I said that because I'm like, you're
26:27
Speaker 1: you're telling her you're gonna bake cookies. She still has
26:29
Speaker 1: a plate of food. You're gonna spend the next hour
26:31
Speaker 1: try and get her to eat that, and now you've
26:33
Speaker 1: promised this is putting us at the seven o'clock hour.
26:37
Speaker 1: I'm panicking because that's going to infringe on mom time.
26:43
Speaker 1: I like to get my kids. Sosa's in bed by
26:45
Speaker 1: six six thirty, okay, And I've taught her. She's a
26:50
Speaker 1: year old. I've taught Sosa. I'm sure, Well, I'm gonna
26:55
Speaker 1: say this and then she's gonna regress and it's gonna
26:57
Speaker 1: be a fucking nightmare. But it's okay. We roll with
26:59
Speaker 1: the punk. She will sit in her crib and talk
27:04
Speaker 1: to herself for like twenty minutes before she goes to bed.
27:08
Speaker 1: I'm cool with it. She needs her alone time, right,
27:10
Speaker 1: that's Sosa's time. Ocean is obsessed with watching sharks murder things.
27:17
Speaker 1: That's how she likes to go to bed. We get
27:20
Speaker 1: in bed at seven, enjoy watch the shark fuck up
27:25
Speaker 1: this person. I don't know, like if that's what puts
27:28
Speaker 1: you to bed, This is Ocean time. And guess what
27:32
Speaker 1: Once those two things are done, it is mommy time.
27:35
Speaker 1: If Ocean gets out of that fucking bed and comes
27:38
Speaker 1: in and asks me for anything, I tell her, Mom's
27:41
Speaker 1: off the clock. My day's done. I'm no longer mom anymore.
27:45
Speaker 1: I love you so much. I adore you. Get in
27:48
Speaker 1: the bed, but I'm hungry. Kitchen's closed. Kitchens closed, Mom
27:54
Speaker 1: is closed. Everything that you need right now is closed,
27:57
Speaker 1: except for that fucking bed and the shark attacks you're watching.
28:00
Speaker 1: Those are open. Go for it, have a hayday. I'm
28:04
Speaker 1: trying to teach her to also take time for herself.
28:07
Speaker 1: You know it's been a long day. She's in preschool.
28:09
Speaker 1: You know that finger painting is no fucking joke. Take
28:13
Speaker 1: time for yourself. Mom time is so important. I will
28:16
Speaker 1: sit in the bath and literally stare into the oblivion
28:22
Speaker 1: thinking about probably for me, thinking about a lot. I
28:26
Speaker 1: need to work on meditation, clearing the mind, thinking about
28:29
Speaker 1: everything I've ever done wrong in my life, saying the
28:32
Speaker 1: Serenity prayer twenty seven times to get me out of
28:35
Speaker 1: the funk. But I really do feel like we, as moms, especially,
28:41
Speaker 1: we suffer from that mom guilt where we feel like
28:43
Speaker 1: we have to be on for everybody. Twenty four to seven.
28:46
Speaker 1: My kid's upset and doesn't want to go to bed,
28:48
Speaker 1: Get the fuck to bed. It is mom time, And
28:51
Speaker 1: I think if you start there, it always starts at home.
28:55
Speaker 1: Home is your safe space. You're supposed to feel comfortable.
28:58
Speaker 1: You're supposed to feel like you can take a load off.
29:01
Speaker 1: The pressures of life are so high. You gotta worry
29:05
Speaker 1: about the husband and feeding and doing whatever it is
29:07
Speaker 1: that he fucking needs. We are put on the back burner. Stress,
29:13
Speaker 1: you guys, is the number one killer of all of us.
29:17
Speaker 1: I believe stress is what took my dad at the
29:19
Speaker 1: age of sixty four. I believe that stress not. I
29:23
Speaker 1: believe it's fact. It causes ulcers, It puts a tremendous
29:27
Speaker 1: amount of stress on your heart, and I am a stressor.
29:30
Speaker 1: So when people look at me and they're like, wow,
29:32
Speaker 1: I's a square, she goes about it at like seven.
29:34
Speaker 1: I have to my health is very very important to me.
29:39
Speaker 1: I want to be present. I want to be on
29:41
Speaker 1: my fucking game. I want to try to look my best.
29:44
Speaker 1: Doesn't always happen, but who cares? And you have to
29:49
Speaker 1: sit and prioritize yourself in moments that you feel like
29:52
Speaker 1: it's just it's just too much. I used to watch
29:56
Speaker 1: regular TV where you would have ads, and I remember
29:58
Speaker 1: this woman, I think, like a Milano's cookie ad, and
30:01
Speaker 1: she was sitting in the bathroom and she had the
30:04
Speaker 1: door locked and there's kids banging on the door, and
30:07
Speaker 1: I was like, this is like such a freaking weird ad,
30:09
Speaker 1: Like who would ever eat Milanal cookies next to a toilet? Me? Now, me,
30:15
Speaker 1: that's what I do. I eat Milano's next to the
30:18
Speaker 1: fucking toilet just to get one little bit of just
30:23
Speaker 1: WU saw time. And I hope with this scan, this
30:27
Speaker 1: prenuva scan, when it comes back that we're in the clear. Right.
30:31
Speaker 1: I think my biggest thing that I'm concerned about, which
30:35
Speaker 1: is wild because I was talking to you guys for
30:38
Speaker 1: those of you who watched The Valley Zach Wickham his
30:43
Speaker 1: boyfriend is an optometrist, and I was talking to him
30:46
Speaker 1: about the ice situation and I was like, I'm just worried,
30:49
Speaker 1: Like where did it come from? Is something going on
30:51
Speaker 1: in my head? He was like, I really don't think
30:53
Speaker 1: one has anything to do with the other. So after
30:56
Speaker 1: this prenuvo scan, I would say, my two biggest things
30:59
Speaker 1: that I'm concerned about. One is my head. I don't
31:04
Speaker 1: know why I would be having tingling sensations cooling sensations.
31:08
Speaker 1: I want to know what's going on there. The next
31:11
Speaker 1: would be I'm extremely concerned about the level of stress
31:14
Speaker 1: and pressure that I put on myself and how it
31:17
Speaker 1: has manifested itself inside of my body. That's the second
31:22
Speaker 1: thing that I'm I'm really very much concerned about. And
31:27
Speaker 1: the third I would say is the sea word because
31:33
Speaker 1: cancer runs in my family, and the women in my
31:37
Speaker 1: family have been older when they've gotten that diagnosis. But
31:42
Speaker 1: my grandmother on my dad's side passed away from cancer,
31:45
Speaker 1: and my grandmother on my mom's side passed away from cancer.
31:48
Speaker 1: So those things scare me and keep in mind you guys,
31:51
Speaker 1: I go and get my ultrasounds on my boobs. And
31:55
Speaker 1: anybody who tells you we do mammograms after the age
32:00
Speaker 1: of forty, I want you to fight for yourselves and
32:03
Speaker 1: advocate for your health. Get in there. If you don't
32:07
Speaker 1: do a mammogram, then what do you do For a
32:09
Speaker 1: woman of my age, I want to say, they're gonna
32:13
Speaker 1: give you an ultrasound. And I remember, at the age
32:16
Speaker 1: of fourteen, my grandmother was diagnosed with caner or no.
32:19
Speaker 1: My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I was
32:22
Speaker 1: terrified that I had breast cancer. You guys, I was
32:24
Speaker 1: fourteen and I went in to get an ultrasound on
32:26
Speaker 1: my boops. There was It wasn't a lump that I
32:30
Speaker 1: was feeling. It was breast tissue because I was getting
32:32
Speaker 1: my tig old bitties. Lucky for me, right, but I
32:35
Speaker 1: was concerned. Advocate for your health. You don't have anyone
32:38
Speaker 1: else to do it. I am going to have a
32:41
Speaker 1: discount code that Prenuvo was nice enough to give to
32:46
Speaker 1: my listeners and to my followers. I will post that
32:51
Speaker 1: you can go onto their website and you can see
32:53
Speaker 1: all of the locations that they have. I also didn't
32:56
Speaker 1: realize that these machines, you guys, cost one point three
33:00
Speaker 1: million dollars. They are insanely high tech, their state of
33:07
Speaker 1: the art, their brand new. A lot of hospitals that
33:10
Speaker 1: you go to, y'all that I just realized, they bring
33:13
Speaker 1: in the machinery, the MRI machines, and they actually build
33:15
Speaker 1: the hospital around those machines because you can't get them
33:19
Speaker 1: through the fucking door. So these machines that other hospitals
33:25
Speaker 1: are using, they could be twenty years old because you
33:27
Speaker 1: just can't bring in new machines, you know, whenever you
33:30
Speaker 1: want PRENEUVEO, I highly recommend. I'm very nervous. I should
33:35
Speaker 1: have my results back in just a couple of days.
33:39
Speaker 1: I'll keep you guys updated on what is said. But
33:43
Speaker 1: I think my main thing with this podcast beyond just
33:47
Speaker 1: prioritizing yourselves and making yourself someone who has a voice.
33:53
Speaker 1: It's so easy to lose our voice in this world.
33:55
Speaker 1: We find it so much easier to just shut up,
33:58
Speaker 1: you know. We find it so much easier with all
34:00
Speaker 1: of the information that's so accessible at all times, to
34:03
Speaker 1: kind of shut down. I feel like we're all running
34:05
Speaker 1: on autopilot, and I get it. It's a lot, but
34:12
Speaker 1: I'm hoping with this podcast that we can take a
34:15
Speaker 1: moment to say, you know what, I'm going to advocate
34:17
Speaker 1: for myself when someone tells me no, and I think
34:20
Speaker 1: something is wrong. You know you better than anybody else,
34:24
Speaker 1: better than any doctor. You know when something is not right.
34:30
Speaker 1: And if you go to a doctor and they're giving
34:33
Speaker 1: you an answer that just does not sit right in
34:36
Speaker 1: the tummy, Please make that known because I want everyone
34:43
Speaker 1: to catch things before it's it's too late. We've seen,
34:47
Speaker 1: you know, Teddy Mellencamp who has been advocating and she
34:50
Speaker 1: single handedly changed the dermatologist game. I said that on
34:56
Speaker 1: an episode. I want to say a few months back,
35:00
Speaker 1: I went to the dermatologist because I've also been obsessing
35:02
Speaker 1: over that where I'm like, there's a shreckle popped up,
35:04
Speaker 1: what the fuck is this? And he's like, you're fine.
35:06
Speaker 1: I just saw you last week, just saw you last week.
35:10
Speaker 1: And I told him, I was like, you know, Teddy
35:12
Speaker 1: is a friend of mine, and I'm just like, you know,
35:16
Speaker 1: she's out here and she's being a voice. And he said,
35:18
Speaker 1: let me tell you something about Teddy Mellencamp. She has
35:20
Speaker 1: single handedly changed the dermatology game and beyond, and I
35:26
Speaker 1: just found that. I sent her a text and I
35:28
Speaker 1: was like, you don't have to respond to this, but
35:31
Speaker 1: I find it important for you to know that while
35:37
Speaker 1: you're in the fight for your own life, how many
35:40
Speaker 1: lives that you're saving. I'm so sorry. So I found
35:49
Speaker 1: it very important to talk about my experience with prenuvo.
35:54
Speaker 1: I know that we hear the twenty five hundred dollars
35:58
Speaker 1: and we lose our That is a lot fucking money.
36:00
Speaker 1: And I know we all work so hard for our money.
36:03
Speaker 1: I highly highly encourage you guys to make it a
36:07
Speaker 1: priority prioritize yourselves. I know that we all get caught
36:13
Speaker 1: up in life and it becomes very intense and sometimes
36:18
Speaker 1: not not knowing we think is better than knowing. And
36:23
Speaker 1: I really want to break that. You know, my mom
36:26
Speaker 1: lives in this world of like everything's fine, mind over matter,
36:31
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to break that cycle with my mom
36:34
Speaker 1: as well. I don't know if that's a generational thing,
36:36
Speaker 1: but I'm like, no, like we she hadn't had a mammogram,
36:41
Speaker 1: I want to say, in ten years. And when I
36:43
Speaker 1: heard that, my jaw dropped to the floor. I was like,
36:45
Speaker 1: what what are you doing? So if you're not doing
36:49
Speaker 1: it for yourselves, do it for the people who love you. Wow,
36:56
Speaker 1: I did not expect that. I'm really sorry because we
37:00
Speaker 1: like you around. So I'm gonna post the discount code,
37:05
Speaker 1: use it, take advantage of it. Prenuvo is so excited
37:09
Speaker 1: to be getting the word out. I am very hopeful
37:12
Speaker 1: that they're going to have locations in every major city
37:17
Speaker 1: so it's accessible to everybody. And I find that to
37:20
Speaker 1: be a very, very beautiful thing. I'm very excited about
37:24
Speaker 1: what they're doing. And isn't that crazy. Other things used
37:28
Speaker 1: to excite me write like a new handbag, maybe like
37:32
Speaker 1: some Cubic Zirconia's from Bloomingdale's. Now I'm like, oh my gosh,
37:37
Speaker 1: pre Nuvo mri machines are going to be in every
37:40
Speaker 1: major city. Oh I am a square and I'm only
37:44
Speaker 1: thirty five, and I feel like I act like I'm ninety,
37:47
Speaker 1: but mentally I feel twenty one. Anyway, you guys, I
37:50
Speaker 1: hope that you enjoyed this episode. I love you. Prioritize yourselves,
37:54
Speaker 1: go love on yourselves. If you ain't doing it for you,
37:57
Speaker 1: do it for the people you love. I'm going to
37:59
Speaker 1: catch you for a bonus on Monday and then again
38:02
Speaker 1: next Wednesday. Love you guys. Bye,