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Things We Need Unlearn In Our 20s (& Beyond) · Two Broke Chicks

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Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
0:03
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey Ticks, I'm out and I'm
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Speaker 1: sal And this is Two Broke Chicks, the show that
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Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help.
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Speaker 2: Make you rich in life. And Welcome back Life Life,
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Speaker 2: Welcome back for another fun little Eppie, how are you
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Speaker 2: say out? I'm good? How are you going? I'm good?
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Speaker 1: Sounds a little bit blocked up in the schnozzle, so apologies,
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Speaker 1: but she's good, she's babe, and she's thriving.
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Speaker 2: Well.
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Speaker 1: Today we are going to be talking about the things
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Speaker 1: we need to unlearn in our twenties.
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Speaker 2: Sou and I have these things that.
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Speaker 1: I'm sure you chicks do too, that we have ingrained
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Speaker 1: in us, and we're like, fuck, we need to stop
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Speaker 1: doing that. For example, one we've mentioned on the podcast
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Speaker 1: a lot is saying the word just for example.
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Speaker 2: You know, it's very minimizing to what you're saying.
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Speaker 1: You very often can remove that from your vocabulary. So
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Speaker 1: these are those kind of life lessons that were like, damn,
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Speaker 1: let's move past these things. Also, some of these things
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Speaker 1: like I don't know about you because I don't know
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Speaker 1: what yours are, Yeah, but like I'm still in the
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Speaker 1: process of some of these things. Like I'm like still
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Speaker 1: catching myself doing some of these things that I want
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Speaker 1: to unload, and I'm.
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Speaker 2: Like, ah, stop it. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Definitely minor for sure, things that I still do or
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Speaker 1: you know, I've found myself falling back into patterns.
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Speaker 2: And I'm in my thirties. So that's the thing as well.
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Speaker 1: Even if you're not in your twenties and you're listening
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Speaker 1: to this episode. I think all of these things will
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Speaker 1: be good reminders no matter what age you are. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: it's like the things we need to unload in our
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Speaker 1: twenties and be olden. Yeah, before we start, let's talk about.
1:43
Speaker 2: Our obsession of the week. So what are you obsessed with?
1:49
Speaker 2: I have another TV show? Oh my god, tell me clearly,
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Speaker 2: I'm in my cozy girl errage. It's winter and.
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Speaker 1: I'm consuming all of the contents the best time to
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Speaker 1: do it. But it's a new show on Netflix and
2:01
Speaker 1: it's called Four Seasons.
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Speaker 2: I've definitely seeing this pop up.
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Speaker 1: It's gout, Steve Corell in it, and Tina Fey here,
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Speaker 1: so obviously, yeah, it's a good calculation there.
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Speaker 2: It's so good. I think it's eight episodes.
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Speaker 1: Each episode is around thirty minutes, so super easy to watch.
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Speaker 1: And it's about three couples who have all been friends
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Speaker 1: for decades and they go on quarterly trips together. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: which is really cute, cute little tradition. But then one
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Speaker 1: of the couples breaks up, and so it like completely.
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Speaker 2: Steve Carell and Tina are they in a couple together?
2:34
Speaker 2: They're not in a couple together.
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Speaker 1: But I won't give it away because that is the
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Speaker 1: description of the TV show, So I haven't dropped like
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Speaker 1: a big spoiler by like, you know, one of them
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Speaker 1: breaks up, but I don't want to say who breaks up.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. You do find out in the first episode though, Oka.
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Speaker 1: But it's really good and every episode finishes on a
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Speaker 1: huge clickhank.
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Speaker 2: Oh no sad.
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Speaker 1: At the end of every episode, I'd be like, fuck,
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Speaker 1: like just wanting to watch the next one.
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Speaker 2: It's really good. Okay, Yeah, what's your obsession?
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Speaker 1: My obsession of the week is the thirteen dollar press
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Speaker 1: on nails from cotton On. As you chicks may have remembered,
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Speaker 1: I'm on like a press on nail's journey recession indicator.
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Speaker 1: But I just simply can't sit in a nail salon
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Speaker 1: for two hours anymore. It's too much of my time,
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Speaker 1: it's too much, it's hard to fit into and just
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Speaker 1: the price has gotten insane, and like, I get it,
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Speaker 1: people need people have their own businesses. I'm not going
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Speaker 1: to sit here and say you're not allowed to charge that,
3:36
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, but I am allowed to sit here
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Speaker 1: and be like, I don't want to pay that totally.
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Speaker 1: So like I swear, we went to go get our
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Speaker 1: nails done earlier this year, and I think this was
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Speaker 1: my final straw, and I showed them a photo not
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Speaker 1: that intense because I didn't want to sit there for
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Speaker 1: that long, and I got quoted one hundred and seventy
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Speaker 1: five dollars and I was like, these last two weeks,
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Speaker 1: so I'm not going to do that. Yeah, But again,
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Speaker 1: each to their own, but if you also feel that way,
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Speaker 1: highly recommend the can't non press on nails. I've had
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Speaker 1: these on for nearly three weeks, yeah, and ones popped
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Speaker 1: off and then you just give it a quick file,
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Speaker 1: quick glue, pop it back on. Like it's changed my
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Speaker 1: life to be completely transparent with you.
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Speaker 2: How Like it's so affordable the nail art you can
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Speaker 2: get that.
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Speaker 1: Would normally cost you, like two hundred dollars is so
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Speaker 1: much cheaper. And I have tried press on nails over
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Speaker 1: the years before, and I haven't liked them, Like I've
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Speaker 1: been like, I just can't get around it. They all
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Speaker 1: pop off. It doesn't do but I don't know what's happened.
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Speaker 2: They've reformulated glue and it's really good. They love them.
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Speaker 2: And also one of the things that I really struggled
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Speaker 2: with was that the nails would always be too bink
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Speaker 2: for my nails.
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Speaker 1: Nahe but these were these were really good, Like the
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Speaker 1: size range, I love that.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's good shit.
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Speaker 1: So yeah, highly recommend the cotton on press on nails.
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Speaker 1: Thirteen dollars and you get heaps in the packet, like
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Speaker 1: you don't just get ten and yeah, so if you
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Speaker 1: lose one, yes, so if you lose one and it
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Speaker 1: like goes away, like sometimes I lose one, I'm not
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Speaker 1: going to say that they're like iron Yeah, but like
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Speaker 1: I've had these on for three weeks and one popped
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Speaker 1: off yesterday. Yeah. Okay, shall we get into the things
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Speaker 1: we need to unlearn in our twenties and beyond, Yes,
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Speaker 1: things we need to unlearn in our twenties and beyond
5:37
Speaker 1: money dysmorphia.
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Speaker 2: Oh have you heard of this term before?
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Speaker 1: I have? I have. Yeah, So for anybody who isn't familiar,
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Speaker 1: money dysmorphia isn't a clinical term. It's essentially an Internet
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Speaker 1: term to describe something that people have been discussing a
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Speaker 1: lot in recent years. But essentially, it's an Internet theory
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Speaker 1: that describes somebody who has a distorted view of their
6:01
Speaker 1: financial situation and well being. And a recent survey conducted
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Speaker 1: by Credit Karma found that twenty nine percent of Americans
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Speaker 1: experience money dysmorphia. This is especially prevalent in younger generations,
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Speaker 1: with forty three percent of Gen Z relating.
6:16
Speaker 2: To this concept.
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Speaker 1: It is so interesting because, like we were saying, it's
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Speaker 1: not it's a new term, but it's not a new concept.
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Speaker 1: It's basically the twenty twenty five answer to keeping up
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Speaker 1: with the Joneses.
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Speaker 2: Jones Jones, Joneses, Joneses. But the comparison trap.
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Speaker 1: I think either makes you feel inadequate and like you
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Speaker 1: don't have enough money, or you need to spend more
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Speaker 1: money to keep up with other people's lifestyles. I also
6:42
Speaker 1: think it's the fact that no one teaches you how
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Speaker 1: to budget. No one teaches you how much you're supposed
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Speaker 1: to put towards living expenses, towards tax, Like we're all
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Speaker 1: kind of here free balling tax, being like I think
6:56
Speaker 1: that's right. Yeah, they're like until you get an account obviously,
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Speaker 1: which I highly recommend, but it's like.
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Speaker 2: No one teaches you this shit that.
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Speaker 1: I know when I moved out when I was twenty one,
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Speaker 1: I thought I could afford rent that was way higher
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Speaker 1: than what I.
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Speaker 2: Could actually afford.
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Speaker 1: And it was only once I moved out and I
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Speaker 1: was like, oh shit that like this is not like
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Speaker 1: this is so much more expensive than I thought it
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Speaker 1: was going to be. Yeah, or like vice versa, like
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Speaker 1: you look at something and be like, yeah, I can
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Speaker 1: afford that, and then you get to the end of
7:26
Speaker 1: the month and you'll let yeah.
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Speaker 2: Fully.
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Speaker 1: But on the other side of that, money dysmorphia can
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Speaker 1: also have you questioning your financial security and worth when
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Speaker 1: you're actually doing okay, which I definitely can relate to
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Speaker 1: as well, and having that anxiety around money even though
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Speaker 1: like yeah, sure you're not rolling around in cash, but
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Speaker 1: also like you're doing okay and things are going to
7:51
Speaker 1: be all right, yeah, and this doesn't mean that like
7:55
Speaker 1: the cost of living crisis and that money isn't stressful,
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Speaker 1: because I think it is. I think whether or not
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Speaker 1: you have a lot of money or you don't have
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Speaker 1: any money. Of course, it all exists on a scale,
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Speaker 1: but it is it comes down to perspective a lot
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Speaker 1: of the time as well, and it can be a
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Speaker 1: source of stress for a lot of people. But I
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Speaker 1: also think that for most people in their twenties, it's
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Speaker 1: a reminder that we should be less hard on ourselves. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: because like you were saying, we don't learn anything about money, dude,
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Speaker 1: I didn't have savings until I like maybe two years ago.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Like I remember sitting with my roommate when we were
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Speaker 1: like twenty five, I think she was maybe two years older,
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Speaker 1: and she was like she don't. She like sided eyed
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Speaker 1: me and she's like, do you have savings? And I
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Speaker 1: was like, oh shit, we're going there. And I was
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Speaker 1: like how much do you have? She was like two
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Speaker 1: hundred bucks and I was like, yeah, pretty much the same.
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Speaker 1: And like that's the thing is again, you don't get
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Speaker 1: taught how to do it, and then potentially you see
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Speaker 1: articles or statistics of like this is the average salary
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Speaker 1: of someone in their thirties, or this is the average
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Speaker 1: savings of someone in their twenties. I didn't start saving
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Speaker 1: money until I was in my mid twenties. But I
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Speaker 1: do think a big part of that for me personally
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Speaker 1: was this concept of money dysmorphia. And I felt so
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Speaker 1: defeated and like there was no point even saving money
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Speaker 1: because I was, you know, on an entry level journalist
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Speaker 1: wage living in Sydney for the first time. So I
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Speaker 1: felt apathetic that I was just like, what's the point,
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Speaker 1: And so I didn't even try to.
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Speaker 2: Save or budget. I just can't.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. But I think the thing is, though, is that
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Speaker 1: looking back at my spending habits, I definitely could have
9:36
Speaker 1: like there was definitely things that I could have been
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Speaker 1: cutting back, I know, but list I remember, I think
9:43
Speaker 1: it was on like my twenty fourth birthday and I
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Speaker 1: was throwing like a big house party, and I looked
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Speaker 1: at my bank account and I was like shit, and
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Speaker 1: I realized that I was gonna have to.
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Speaker 2: Pay my rent late by like a day. That by
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Speaker 2: like a day.
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Speaker 1: But because I'd spent so much money like buying you know,
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Speaker 1: like food and decorations and ship for my party. Literally
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Speaker 1: That's what I mean, Like, I probably could have been
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Speaker 1: budgeting better and maybe having a bit more forethought about
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Speaker 1: prioritizing where my money was going. And I'm not saying that,
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Speaker 1: like I wasn't, you know, struggling financially at the time,
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Speaker 1: but I just didn't. I was like, oh, well, what's
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Speaker 1: the fucking point. Maybe I feel like this might potentially
10:25
Speaker 1: be a toxic money trade of mine, But it's the
10:28
Speaker 1: fact that I think about that, and I think about
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Speaker 1: the fact that I didn't save in my early twenties
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Speaker 1: because one, like didn't know how too, it was very
10:35
Speaker 1: expensive minimum wage vibes. But also I'm like, I was
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Speaker 1: having fun, yeah, and I'm still having fun now, but
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Speaker 1: like a, I don't know if this is the right
10:44
Speaker 1: way to look at it.
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Speaker 2: But that's why I'm like, yeah, but you're having fun,
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Speaker 2: I know.
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Speaker 1: So I'm like, but again, I'm not saying that's a
10:50
Speaker 1: good thing, but I'm like, if you're gonna not think.
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Speaker 2: About saving at some point in time.
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Speaker 1: In your life, maybe your early twenties is a best
11:00
Speaker 1: part to do. Yeah, when because you've got maybe less responsibility,
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Speaker 1: maybe you don't have a partner, maybe you're still living
11:07
Speaker 1: at your parents' house, Like if you're going to fucking
11:10
Speaker 1: balls to the wall at anyone in a dime to
11:13
Speaker 1: your life and be like fuck it, that's probably the
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Speaker 1: time to do it, and then maybe you can grow
11:19
Speaker 1: up a little bit. Yeah, I think that's what happened,
11:21
Speaker 1: and like I'm okay, yeah, and I think that's then
11:25
Speaker 1: I'm okay, so dramatic, yeah, but like I've learnt those things,
11:31
Speaker 1: but it was I remember like sitting down and being like,
11:34
Speaker 1: holy shit, like I'm turning twenty four tomorrow and I
11:37
Speaker 1: don't have any sayes and like I have a full
11:39
Speaker 1: time job and I'm thinking about how like I won't
11:42
Speaker 1: be able to afford my rent because I haven't been
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Speaker 1: responsible with my money, and it's just like I had
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Speaker 1: to have those scares to make maybe like this feeling
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Speaker 1: of not being able to pay my rent and having
11:52
Speaker 1: to text my mum to transfer me two hundred dollars
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Speaker 1: is not fun. Yeah, so like let's not do this again.
11:58
Speaker 1: And absolutely it happened again. But then like the feeling
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Speaker 1: of that being like, okay, it's happened three times.
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Speaker 2: I've let my lesson.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think as well, it just made me
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Speaker 1: flip the switch a little bit and change my perspective
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Speaker 1: and instead of being like, oh, well fuck it, Like
12:12
Speaker 1: I don't make any money anyway, what's your point of
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Speaker 1: even saving because I won't have anything, I was like,
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Speaker 1: I'm going to make a goal to save one thousand
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Speaker 1: dollars in the next six months. And it was like,
12:21
Speaker 1: once I started doing that, it became so much easier
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Speaker 1: to save once I already had savings.
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Speaker 2: But yeah, it's interesting. I listened to an episode.
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Speaker 1: Of an NPR podcast called The Indicator from Planet Money
12:33
Speaker 1: this week, and they quoted a study that found that
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Speaker 1: three out of five people aged twenty eight or under
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Speaker 1: feel stressed about their finances. But looking at that group
12:42
Speaker 1: of people, they're actually doing okay financially. So again, I'm
12:47
Speaker 1: not saying that money shouldn't be stressful, but I do
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Speaker 1: think there are a few things that you can do
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Speaker 1: to get a little bit more perspective and maybe feel
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Speaker 1: a bit more empowered about your finances.
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Speaker 2: So some tips to deal with my dysmorphia.
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Speaker 1: Regularly check your bank account, that band aid off honestly,
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Speaker 1: build a budget so that you know where your money
13:08
Speaker 1: is coming and going, setting aside a fun fund so
13:11
Speaker 1: you actually feel like you can spend your money, because
13:13
Speaker 1: if you're on the opposite side where you feel stressed
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Speaker 1: and anxious about money, if you never want to spend anything,
13:19
Speaker 1: unfollow anybody who makes you feel insecure or you feel
13:22
Speaker 1: like influences you to spend money that you don't have.
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Speaker 2: And also talk to your friends about money.
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Speaker 1: Like you were saying, you sat down with your old
13:29
Speaker 1: housemate and you both admitted to each other that you
13:31
Speaker 1: didn't really have savings. And I'm sure that lifted such
13:35
Speaker 1: a huge weight off your shoulders.
13:37
Speaker 2: And maybe you bought a bottle of wine. Yeah, no,
13:39
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, what's yours? Okay.
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Speaker 1: My first thing we need to unlearn in our twenties
13:44
Speaker 1: is that fashion is driven by body shapes and what
13:48
Speaker 1: is considered flattering. I just feel as though style is
13:54
Speaker 1: not dependent on what is deemed flattering, like this term flattering,
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Speaker 1: and I find it very limited and a very dated
14:03
Speaker 1: notion that yet again puts women into categories, and whether
14:09
Speaker 1: we like it or not, those categories do have a
14:12
Speaker 1: hierarchy as well. And I just cringe every time I
14:17
Speaker 1: see a video of what to wear according to your
14:19
Speaker 1: body type, and it's not shade to anyone specific or anything,
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Speaker 1: But it just is something that I think we need
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Speaker 1: to move away from and need to unlearn.
14:29
Speaker 2: And there are multiple.
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Speaker 1: Reasons as to why I think this is like a
14:34
Speaker 1: damaging and prehistoric narrative because it's confusing. Right, So, number one,
14:43
Speaker 1: the math ain't mathing. So according to Nicki Parkinson, former
14:47
Speaker 1: journalist and founder of Styling You, some experts would have
14:51
Speaker 1: us believe that where one of five body shapes, others
14:54
Speaker 1: tell us that there are seven possible shapes, and yet
14:56
Speaker 1: another thinks there are twelve three point five billion individual
15:02
Speaker 1: women in the world. Math may not be my strong point,
15:06
Speaker 1: but something doesn't add up. Each of us is different
15:08
Speaker 1: from the next woman. To think we can all be
15:10
Speaker 1: categorized as certain types of fruit or other kinds of
15:14
Speaker 1: shapes is just crazy and it distracts us from the
15:18
Speaker 1: task at hand, which is to choose, buy, and wear
15:21
Speaker 1: clothes that make us feel good. And also, not to
15:24
Speaker 1: be obvious, but have you noticed that we never ever
15:28
Speaker 1: talk about men's fashion in this way? That was my
15:30
Speaker 1: second point, yeah, is that I have never ever heard
15:37
Speaker 1: men be categorized into body types or shapes.
15:40
Speaker 2: That's not to say that they have.
15:42
Speaker 1: I am not God, I haven't seen every single piece
15:44
Speaker 1: of information or content out there, but this body types
15:49
Speaker 1: and shapes and whether an outfit is flattering is sexist.
15:53
Speaker 1: It's never ever put into men's fashion like yeah, I've
15:58
Speaker 1: just never heard it that way, And no one is
16:00
Speaker 1: out there calling a guy a classic inverted triangle yeah,
16:05
Speaker 1: or yes he needs this stress for his pear shaped
16:08
Speaker 1: torso like it just I don't know, I just don't
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Speaker 1: like it. It's something that I'm really really trying to unlearn,
16:18
Speaker 1: especially the term like flattering. Yeah, I also think that
16:24
Speaker 1: flattering has an undertone of looking smaller. Yes, yeah, I
16:31
Speaker 1: don't think that flattering even really means like showing.
16:35
Speaker 2: Off your bodies, like showing off your body.
16:38
Speaker 1: Flattering is the F word we need to stop using
16:41
Speaker 1: because it's basically a synonym for fixing. Yeah, right, Like
16:44
Speaker 1: that's how I look at it, and I've absolutely stopped
16:47
Speaker 1: trying to use it towards myself. I've absolutely stopped using it.
16:52
Speaker 1: I don't think I look, I'm not gonna say I've
16:54
Speaker 1: never said to someone growing up, because you would think
16:56
Speaker 1: it was a compliment.
16:57
Speaker 2: Right, that looks so flattering, that looks really good on you.
16:59
Speaker 1: I do not say that to anyone anymore, because exactly
17:03
Speaker 1: what you said, it's this undertone of fixing or you
17:06
Speaker 1: look smaller or you look better because something is either
17:10
Speaker 1: accentuated that is deemed attractive, or something is hidden that
17:16
Speaker 1: is deemed not attractive by society.
17:19
Speaker 2: Right, And yeah, every.
17:21
Speaker 1: Time I'm using that term towards myself, I find that
17:26
Speaker 1: it's because it's hidden something that is maybe an insecurity
17:30
Speaker 1: of mine, or because it's accentuated something that's deemed attractive.
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Speaker 2: Totally, you know what I mean.
17:36
Speaker 1: And I also think we've just confused the term flattering
17:41
Speaker 1: for a garment that just fits you well, because half
17:44
Speaker 1: the time maybe that little naughty thought pops up in
17:47
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, actually, the clothes just fit, yeah,
17:51
Speaker 1: you know. And like it's again that notion of like
17:55
Speaker 1: clothes are meant to fit you, You're not meant to
17:56
Speaker 1: fit your clothes.
17:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean?
17:59
Speaker 1: Love that, And yeah, I just think it's something we
18:02
Speaker 1: need to unlearn in our twenties. But I also saw
18:05
Speaker 1: this week on Less Socials on shit you should care
18:09
Speaker 1: about that? TikTok has blocked searchers for hashtag skinny talk
18:15
Speaker 1: and yeah, and a tag that was basically a fast
18:18
Speaker 1: track to content glorifying disordered eating, which I think is
18:23
Speaker 1: really really great. I also know TikTok has also band
18:26
Speaker 1: creators that were, you know, pushing certain narratives around eating
18:32
Speaker 1: disorders and really really damaging rhetorics of being skinny and that,
18:38
Speaker 1: and I think as well, we're definitely seeing a resurgence
18:41
Speaker 1: of you know, the twenty tens two thousand's esque.
18:46
Speaker 2: Body type and body shape.
18:47
Speaker 1: That again, I'm like, fuck, Like, it's just it's something
18:52
Speaker 1: we absolutely need to unlearn. And I still kind of
18:55
Speaker 1: sit here sometimes when I see content that's.
18:58
Speaker 2: Like what to wear, and I get it.
19:00
Speaker 1: I get it's coming from a place of people maybe
19:03
Speaker 1: feel certain ways about their body that they don't want
19:07
Speaker 1: to accentuate some things, or maybe it makes them feel
19:10
Speaker 1: comfortable to wear a certain thing. But that shouldn't be
19:13
Speaker 1: fueled by the fact that you think you look a
19:16
Speaker 1: certain way. It should be fueled by the fact that
19:18
Speaker 1: when you wear something it makes you feel fucking.
19:21
Speaker 2: Hot exactly, like it makes you feel fucking sexy.
19:24
Speaker 1: Like I know that like for my body type, if
19:28
Speaker 1: you will, I don't dress according to it. I like
19:32
Speaker 1: I like oversized fits, I like wearing men's clothes. I like,
19:38
Speaker 1: you know, not accentuating every single Like I don't like
19:43
Speaker 1: wearing super super super tight clothing, Like I don't feel
19:47
Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable in it.
19:48
Speaker 2: It doesn't align to like my identity. But like it
19:53
Speaker 2: would go against probably what every stylist's advice would be
19:57
Speaker 2: to wear what's suited to my body type. But I
20:01
Speaker 2: don't care because I like it. I like what they're wearing.
20:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you want to feel comfortable and like it's
20:08
Speaker 1: reflective of who you are on the inside, which is
20:11
Speaker 1: so cliche, but fuck it, it's true.
20:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think we.
20:15
Speaker 1: Need to flip how we look at it and instead
20:19
Speaker 1: of looking for clothes that hide certain things about ourselves, like,
20:24
Speaker 1: we need to look for clothes that make us feel
20:27
Speaker 1: more like ourselves. Again, like we said at the start,
20:30
Speaker 1: it's a work in progress. My next thing that we
20:34
Speaker 1: need to unlearn in our twenties or any age, is
20:36
Speaker 1: only celebrating traditional milestones, because in our twenties it can
20:42
Speaker 1: feel like a race towards a deadline. A lot of
20:45
Speaker 1: people put pressure on themselves in their twenties to achieve
20:48
Speaker 1: things by a certain age.
20:50
Speaker 2: I think it's okay to have a bit.
20:52
Speaker 1: Of an idea of what you want from your life
20:54
Speaker 1: and things that you want to achieve in your life.
20:56
Speaker 1: But I think if you're being like, Okay, I want
20:58
Speaker 1: to get married by twenty five, have kids by twenty seven,
21:01
Speaker 1: blah blah, like you sort of set yourself up for
21:04
Speaker 1: failure if those things don't go to plan.
21:07
Speaker 2: Dude, I'm so glad those things didn't go to plan.
21:10
Speaker 2: Did you have deadlines like that set up for yourself?
21:13
Speaker 1: Ever?
21:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they were with absolutely not the right people
21:19
Speaker 2: as well.
21:19
Speaker 1: That like, by having those deadlines, if I stuck to it,
21:23
Speaker 1: I would have been really unhappy.
21:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would have been with the wrong person.
21:28
Speaker 1: I would have been stuck with responsibilities that I wasn't
21:33
Speaker 1: ready for. And yeah, I just wouldn't have the experiences
21:36
Speaker 1: under my belt that I'm glad I have all the
21:39
Speaker 1: career and friendships and people in my life if I
21:43
Speaker 1: stuck to those deadlines that.
21:45
Speaker 2: I made up and gave to myself.
21:48
Speaker 1: Literally and the arbitrary deadlines they're made up that don't
21:52
Speaker 1: really mean anything, and they can be really restricting. But
21:56
Speaker 1: also it means that we're only celebrating these really traditional
22:00
Speaker 1: milestones in our life, such as buying house, getting engaged, getting.
22:06
Speaker 2: Married, having children.
22:07
Speaker 1: These are all amazing things, definitely worth celebrating.
22:11
Speaker 2: Grab a bottle of sheep, yeah, honestly.
22:13
Speaker 1: But something for myself, which I've spoken about on the show,
22:17
Speaker 1: is that, like my whole life, I've never seen those
22:21
Speaker 1: things like getting engaged having kids in my timeline, so
22:25
Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily have deadlines for those things for myself. However,
22:29
Speaker 1: in my later twenties and now even in my thirties,
22:32
Speaker 1: I do think to myself, like, all of these people
22:35
Speaker 1: around me are getting engaged, having kids, which is amazing,
22:39
Speaker 1: and there's so many opportunities to celebrate those things. But
22:42
Speaker 1: I also I'm kind of like, when do I get
22:45
Speaker 1: to celebrate something now, because once you turn you know,
22:49
Speaker 1: like twenty one or thirty is like the last big
22:53
Speaker 1: birthdayn to like fifty, right, Yeah, I would say forty probably.
22:57
Speaker 2: I think my mom had a big forty.
22:58
Speaker 1: Yes.
22:59
Speaker 2: No, I'm like, I'm like, that's good. Yeah, celebrate a
23:02
Speaker 2: whole decade, I know, you know, that's.
23:05
Speaker 1: A long time to not have anyone like say nice
23:07
Speaker 1: things about you in a room full of people with
23:10
Speaker 1: you know, jelly shots in the corner. Yeah, exactly, I
23:14
Speaker 1: think that whether or not you do plan to celebrate
23:17
Speaker 1: those traditional milestones or not, Like, why not embrace opportunities
23:23
Speaker 1: to celebrate more great things that we don't just women.
23:26
Speaker 1: What should we celebrate? What's what's our next celebration for you?
23:29
Speaker 1: Because now you've brought this to my attention, and as
23:32
Speaker 1: the person in the world sub Chris who loves you
23:34
Speaker 1: the most.
23:36
Speaker 2: I'm like, what are we going to celebrate?
23:38
Speaker 1: You know what?
23:38
Speaker 2: I love? You know? On Sex and the City.
23:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Samantha has a I don't have any babies party.
23:46
Speaker 2: When I first.
23:46
Speaker 1: Saw that, I was like, holy shit, that is such
23:49
Speaker 1: a good idea. Wait, absolutely, when should we do that?
23:52
Speaker 1: Thirty five? Yeah, I reckon that's between I don't have
23:56
Speaker 1: any babies party? Yeah, I think that's so fun. But
23:58
Speaker 1: I do have a list of that I think that
24:00
Speaker 1: we can celebrate. Okay, hit me, So things we need
24:03
Speaker 1: to celebrate in our twenties and beyond that isn't getting married,
24:07
Speaker 1: baby showers, or buying a house, moving out, getting a promotion,
24:13
Speaker 1: or leaving a job that you hate, or leaving a
24:15
Speaker 1: man that you hate.
24:17
Speaker 2: Yes, that's definitely one. Leaving a relationship that you're not
24:20
Speaker 2: happy in or a friendship, paying off debt or your hex.
24:25
Speaker 2: More of us need to have payoff parties. Yeah, because
24:29
Speaker 2: I broke up with Hex.
24:31
Speaker 1: Yes, breaking a bad habit, finding a passion or purpose
24:37
Speaker 1: and taking a risk.
24:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, why not. It doesn't have to be.
24:40
Speaker 1: A huge party. It can just be, Hey, I paid
24:44
Speaker 1: off my Hex. Can we go for a drink?
24:46
Speaker 2: Yes, Friday? I want a.
24:48
Speaker 1: Toast to something, get a cake and having more things
24:51
Speaker 1: like that. And I think you and I especially, we
24:54
Speaker 1: don't do this enough and celebrate the little wins that
24:58
Speaker 1: we have along the way.
25:00
Speaker 2: And I think everybody needs to do that more.
25:02
Speaker 1: I think everyone listening to this needs to put in
25:04
Speaker 1: a celebration for something that they've achieved this year or
25:07
Speaker 1: will achieve.
25:08
Speaker 2: That's everyone's homework. Yeah, let us know in the comments
25:11
Speaker 2: what you're going to do. Okay, Okay.
25:14
Speaker 1: My final one is a quickie and yeah, my favorite.
25:21
Speaker 2: And the thing we need to.
25:23
Speaker 1: Unlearn in our twenties is that a romantic relationship is
25:28
Speaker 1: the final goal. And I'm saying this as well as
25:32
Speaker 1: someone who has entered a relationship that fingers crossed is
25:37
Speaker 1: you know, gonna gonna go the lot the full road.
25:41
Speaker 1: But I do remember in my twenties thinking that I
25:47
Speaker 1: was never going to meet someone. There was definitely a
25:50
Speaker 1: point that I absolutely was like, oh shit, there's like
25:57
Speaker 1: I don't actually think I'm ever gonna get ma read
26:01
Speaker 1: or meet anyone that's like a life partner because it's
26:05
Speaker 1: just not gonna happen to me. But and there's a
26:08
Speaker 1: big butt to this, I actually was okay with that
26:12
Speaker 1: because when I looked around, I was like, I have
26:16
Speaker 1: so many amazing friends and by that I mean three, yeah,
26:21
Speaker 1: you know I had at that point and still have
26:24
Speaker 1: three really really fucking amazing best friends. That I was like,
26:29
Speaker 1: that's okay, like that these are my life partners.
26:34
Speaker 2: Like I didn't.
26:35
Speaker 1: I realized I didn't need that one romantic relationship to
26:41
Speaker 1: feel as though my relationships with other people CUP was
26:45
Speaker 1: full because obviously we use the term relationship and we
26:49
Speaker 1: reserve it only for romantic relationships and not necessarily for
26:53
Speaker 1: platonic Yeah, and we are definitely moving away from this again.
26:57
Speaker 1: This is something that we're celebrating more, Like more and more,
27:00
Speaker 1: I'm seeing more interviews and books and including ours, and
27:05
Speaker 1: you know, articles about the joy and importance and beauty
27:09
Speaker 1: of platonic and female friendships and just friendships as a
27:13
Speaker 1: whole that I'm like, we don't need to strive for
27:19
Speaker 1: this one thing to be like, yay, did it?
27:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, Dan, Like that's not the big.
27:26
Speaker 1: Gold trophy on the top of a mountain to be
27:28
Speaker 1: like you are now deemed worthy because you are in
27:32
Speaker 1: a partnership with someone and you sometimes have sex. Yeah,
27:36
Speaker 1: because that's that's the difference, you know, like between your
27:41
Speaker 1: friends and a romantic relationship.
27:43
Speaker 2: One has desire and you.
27:46
Speaker 1: Know, a sexual esque nature to it, not including you know,
27:50
Speaker 1: asexual relationships of course, But and I'm just like, I'm
27:55
Speaker 1: just so so happy that this is getting the time
27:59
Speaker 1: in the sun that it is because it's still a
28:03
Speaker 1: narrative that's push but it's becoming one that we're unlearning.
28:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think.
28:09
Speaker 1: I think that that's how people end up settling for
28:12
Speaker 1: less when they feel like they have to have a partner.
28:16
Speaker 2: But I think it also goes the.
28:17
Speaker 1: Same for friendships too, like when people feel like they
28:20
Speaker 1: have to have a huge group of friends or they
28:22
Speaker 1: have to have a best friend. You actually don't need
28:27
Speaker 1: any of these things as long as you have a
28:30
Speaker 1: good relationship with yourself, and then the relationships that you
28:34
Speaker 1: find with other people. They don't have to fit any
28:37
Speaker 1: sort of mold. Yeah, it's just whatever feels right to you.
28:41
Speaker 1: And I do think that having supportive friendships is a
28:44
Speaker 1: huge part of that. But that could be a group
28:46
Speaker 1: of ten people that you've known since high school, or
28:48
Speaker 1: it could be one person literally, Okay. And that's the
28:52
Speaker 1: thing as well, is like, even getting into a relationship
28:55
Speaker 1: that then didn't become the priority over you know, my
29:00
Speaker 1: friendship with you, it didn't lessen it. I was like,
29:02
Speaker 1: all right, thanks for your time, great work over the.
29:07
Speaker 2: Last five years, ten out of ten.
29:10
Speaker 1: Good Now, thanks, thanks babe, here's your resignation.
29:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
29:14
Speaker 1: That it's still like even when I was, you know,
29:16
Speaker 1: getting into this relationship, it was like, just so you know,
29:20
Speaker 1: this person is also.
29:21
Speaker 2: The love of my life. I was saving like, hey, hey, mawn,
29:26
Speaker 2: I've seen many of you over the years. You think
29:28
Speaker 2: you're gonna stick around, bitch? No, I was like, please
29:32
Speaker 2: stick arount you were like, I thank you. You're the
29:34
Speaker 2: only one I've ever liked. But yeah, it also doesn't
29:38
Speaker 2: lessen the ones that you do have. Yeah, so wholesome.
29:42
Speaker 1: Wholesome bitch, let's make out, pulls a bitch calls a bitch.
29:48
Speaker 2: All right, well is that a rap? It is a rap.
29:51
Speaker 2: That is a rap.
29:52
Speaker 1: I would love to know all the things that chicks
29:54
Speaker 1: think we need to unlearn in their twenties. So tell
29:57
Speaker 1: us in the comments on Spotify socials, d m us
30:01
Speaker 1: all that fun.
30:01
Speaker 2: Send us a pigeon, Send us pigeon pige.
30:06
Speaker 1: Okay, we got excite story, No, we can't show. There
30:11
Speaker 1: was a lady at Bondi Junction who lost her pet
30:14
Speaker 1: pigeon and she made a post in Facebook and I
30:16
Speaker 1: saw it and it made me sad. So I had
30:18
Speaker 1: to bring Sail down with me, and so I sent
30:20
Speaker 1: her the post. And they never found Pitche, and so
30:22
Speaker 1: it's a really they found Pitge. They found Pitche.
30:25
Speaker 2: Oh, thank god. He was so cute. He was really cute.
30:30
Speaker 1: He was the only pigeon I've ever trusted. All the
30:32
Speaker 1: pigeons I'm not quite sure about.
30:34
Speaker 2: No, I like them. I feel bad for pigeons. I
30:37
Speaker 2: feel bad for pigeons.
30:38
Speaker 1: They were brought into a world when we needed them,
30:40
Speaker 1: and then cast aside when we decided we didn't cut
30:44
Speaker 1: damn the man anyway, That is a ripe. On today's episode,
30:49
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, cheeks for having us in your
30:51
Speaker 1: ear holes. We love it to be here and shout
30:54
Speaker 1: out to m Aka Made for making this episode of
30:55
Speaker 1: two Broke We.
30:57
Speaker 2: Happened, Bye Bye. The bat was a pastu