Latest / Voices for Voices® / How High School Trauma Affects You Later In Life | Episode 131

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How High School Trauma Affects You Later In Life | Episode 131 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Voices for Voices is the number one ranked podcast and TV show where people turn to for expert mental health recovery and career advancement intelligence.
• 0:18
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• 0:31
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• 0:46
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• 0:49
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• 1:08
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• 1:20
  Speaker 1: So today's episode is part two from last week's part one episode.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: We're going to continue our conversation with guest in studio, amy Messmore.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: We first connected a couple years ago at our Voices for Voices, a brand new day event that we held.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: She was able to share her powerful mental health mental illness story with our audience, both in person and virtually across the world, and she reached out a couple months ago seeing how things were going and mentioned that she wanted to come along and give us an update, and now that we have a much broader audience too, to be able to share and to help as many people as possible.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So, amy, thank you for joining us and sticking around for episode two of course, thank you yeah, and so in in episode one it was fantastic how you you chronicled where you're at uh and where, where you're kind of today in in the uh, the mental health program at at Wh.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: And I'm wondering if we could maybe dig a little deeper into just the college life and what roadblocks, obstacles just the average college student I mean even high school student to an extent is going through and then how the program you're going to is is helping give you some tools, additional tools to not only help others but also integrate into your, your life as well yeah, of course.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Um, I'm gonna go back to high school.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: My senior year I had no idea what I was even going to do with my life.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I was applying for so many different colleges, didn't get in and then got into Kent State for their undeclared program and then a year later declared my major in early childhood and it's a great program.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: It was just tough because the second to last year the pandemic hit and it was a totally different.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Like it shook the education world as like it shook so many other things how to do class, virtually what resources were available, what resources weren't available and that was just.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: It was really tough.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I taught for a little bit, decided it was not for me and was back again, kind of where I was my senior year of high school of okay, now what?
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: And decided to do some research.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: What do I really want to do?
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: And decided that I wanted to go into clinical mental health and get my master's degree, which is huge and also nerve-racking at the same time, because I didn't think I would be getting a master's degree that soon after my undergrad degree.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Wow, and I'm even, as you were sharing that, I was thinking about myself and going through high school and all the different nuances that were happening and how bullying can kind of take a form, even if it's not right out, like bullying physically or such, where it could be on a team or part of a group and you know, being included with with different events and parties or whatnot, and or or not being being included.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: And, as you were just talking about high school, I I was thinking about even some of the sporting teams that I was on in high school of being bullied or kind of singled out of jokes and different things.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I had a ton of acne and had braces on top of just being a kid in high school and I think that's something that some kids have and may be going through.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: And to put that on top of those decisions of what do I want to do, it has maybe some trauma associated with that.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Has maybe some trauma associated with that, even if it's just a joke or singled out one time, how even that could really just affect us and the fact that I'm 42 years old and I'm thinking over 20 years ago of certain situations and then playing outside at different friends' houses and being bullied in a way with words and things.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I think that's helpful for people just to hear somebody talk about that, on top of the decisions of what do I do, what do I want to go into, what program, what school?
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Additional thing to where we add on it either if we don't process it kind of verbally or through journaling, then it kind of goes in speaking for me personally, goes into my mind and it kind of gets filed away and it's kind of a big stack of dominoes and it's like, oh my gosh, like I'll deal with that in a different way or I I don't.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not bothered by it and whereas at the end of the day I think we are and we know not everything's going to be perfect, but when things happen and we're individuals, we're humans, we have emotions.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: How did the emotions play in for you?
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: That's a really good question.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: I was actually gonna bring up the point of social media.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, because social media, like still it's very popular today.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: It was very popular when I was in high school and for, like you know, 15, 16, 17 year olds to see their friends post like pictures of them at parties and they're not, or them being accepted into a program and you're not.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: It's tough and that, like that, has a huge effect on depression, anxiety.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I should be like the thinking of I should be here but I'm not and yeah it's, it's tough and frustrating so you, you pivoted from your kind of teaching into the clinical mental health, behavioral health, and did you feel a little bit of, I'll say, stress release in a way, once that decision was made, that it felt like you felt like, yeah, this is me, this is Amy, this is going to be something that I'm going to enjoy, not just be tied in from the financial aspect of making money, but tied in emotionally Like yeah, I really invested in what I'm doing and I can help others and feel good about doing that as well as the paycheck.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: And with teaching you have so many different roles.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: You have the role of a counselor, you have the role of a nurse.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: You have the role of a nurse, you have the role of a teacher, you have the role, sometime, of a parent or guardian if a student does not have one, and that's tough.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: And I definitely felt relieved when I decided to go into counseling because I'm like I will have one role, but I know that it will be like consistent.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Did you ever have a feeling of like this is going to take an extra toll on my mental health, that when you're having these conversations in the counseling, that not that it's going to be unhealthy, but just that it may add on, like it might trigger something?
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Like a conversation that you have with a client or a patient you know they talk about something like oh my gosh, and then has that crossed your mind?
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I know the field has a lot of empathetic burnout and I'm happy because my professors kind of given advice and what to do for that.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: They're like make sure you do something for your physical health, Make sure you do something for your mental health, whether that's meditation, mindfulness, seeing a therapist, emotional and spiritual.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: So, like all four of those like combined like are this huge, like they have this huge power to them, and I really liked that they gave those examples of what we can do.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: They also said it's highly recommended that you do see a therapist throughout your time here, and I also really appreciated that because it's like, okay, like these are, they have their doctorates in this and they like don't see mental health as taboo or anything like that.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: They're like no, you need to take care of yourself in order for you to take care of others.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, I have like thought about the empathetic burnout, but also you know what I will also kind of do to combat that, and I think that it's not just important for the mental health field but, like any career that you're in to have, you know the specific things that you do to make sure that you're the healthiest mentally that you can be.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's yeah, like the self-care.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Just finding like what works for you, like here's a list, here's what you can do and you don't have to do all of them and what works for you might not work for me, what works for me might not work for you, just finding those things where you're able to offload some of that stress energy in different ways.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: And I'm glad you brought up, as we like to talk about that spiritual side.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I was at a point where I was seeking therapy, medication after being discharged from the hospital and then there was an unexpected job change and so I went and saw our pastor and just talked about kind of just like what's occurred and how do I, from a spiritual side, besides going to church if it's every week or whatever the schedule and individual and their denomination goes and to get that feedback of, well, there's different groups and you can come to this and it's either all men or it's all women and you can just literally just talk and just be around people.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: And that will help satisfy that part of the brain because I felt like I was maxing out the professional energy and things I was on, but I was there was still like this empty spot, like from a spiritual side.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: That was still there and there was room for growth and there still is, and so I'm glad you brought that up of all four of those areas, of utilizing whatever resources to do that, because, as we know, it's Mental Health Awareness Month and we all have mental health and it's not like, oh well, you have mental health because you have depression and anxiety.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: It's what we all have.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: We just have different degrees of certain things and certain things affect us in different ways and I think that helps with the stigma and I think that's got to be good for you to know that the program that you're going through and the work that you're going to be good for you to know that the program that you're going through and the work that you're going to be doing is going to, on top of all the other things like this that you're bringing your story, for that you're helping reduce the stigma.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: That's something big.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: That I definitely want to do is be an advocate and reduce the stigma, and that can be done in so many ways too, and even just like advocating for fair health care, because it's expensive and I know that also turns a lot of people away, and there there are a lot of like good free resources out there too that can help people.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: So like that gives me hope.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I'm glad you brought the cost up.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: When I was going through my stay in the hospital, even with insurance, I think it was somewhere around $20,000, some $1,000.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: And that was like with insurance.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I think it was somewhere around 20, some thousand, and and that was like with insurance.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: And it's like, oh my gosh, like how, how are we gonna pay this?
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: And that was one of the concerns and the fears I had going into was, oh my gosh, like if I'm, if the average stays three or four days, and how can I afford it?
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: And I was lucky to have parents to help give some of that financial support.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: But to the point of what if people aren't?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: What if they don't have that ability and they're at the brink of like well, if I don't get help now, then they may make a uh, you know, and having a suicidal ideation, and you know these, uh, these other actions can occur and part of it could be based on the money of like I, I can't afford it, or my family can't afford it, and so I'm just, I'm just not going to do it.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: On top of the stigma and on on top of the what are people going to think about me?
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: And I've always been, you know, this strong person.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: And now people are going to be like oh, justin, he's got something wrong with him, like you know.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: So I don't have anything wrong with me.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I think, as we know, we're all human and and we all just have things we're good at and we have things we're not as good at.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: And when we stop kind of classifying each other, it's like okay, this is me as an individual, this is you, everybody's different.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: It's kind of a different roadmap of how they go about life.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so, as you are working your way through the program at current time, where are you at in that two and a half years in the program?
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: This is my third semester.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, how does that translate?
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: So is that like you're a?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: year in, or I will be a year this fall.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: And then next fall I start internship and then my practicum.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: So it's like about a year, a year and a half of coursework, and then there are two semesters of internship and then practicum.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: And that's great because then it gets you out doing the work instead of just the book work, and I think that's key.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: And I think other subject matters and industries like should we be doing something similar?
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Because, well, it's great to know the concepts and that they're getting into the real world.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: You need to be able to, whether it's communicate or share something.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: There's ways of doing things that aren't just what's in the books.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Now, I would say, in your case and it might be a little bit more important for medical terms and then helping diagnose and those things where that tends to be a little bit more important but still getting out and getting that experience before you graduate, instead of like, oh, here you are, you got your degree, and it's like, now what?
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: And it could feel like a letdown, and I know it, with people using different substances where they may be incarcerated, and then they're like, okay, you're released, and then there's no kind of program that help get them acclimated, like, okay, I can get a job, but I don't have a place to stay, I don't have a place to eat or something to eat, and so there's all those things on that level, as well as things on kind of the school and the education level of when you graduate, you're going to have some of that practical experience.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: So you're going to be able to refer back not just to the, the terminology and the methods, but you're going to be able to refer back to some of that practice, practical experience of being out in in the field.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Can you just touch on how important you think that is?
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: I definitely think it's important to have the experience of face-to-face before you graduate, whether that's you know this field or another field.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: A good friend of mine, control chin, talked to me a little bit like when I was considering going into this was back in high school, going into a field like education or therapy and he was like the books won't matter as much as the in-person experience that you get and that stayed with me too, where it's important to know the education behind what you're learning.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: But the hands-on experience is also, I think, more important because you get to then apply that knowledge that you learned.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're able to pivot on different like oh, I need to look up this particular area a little bit more and I know this really well and this gel is really easy as opposed to just like.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, there you go.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm glad you wrote Mr Chin because he his his method of.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: He doesn't really have an office like he travels like to, to, to where he offers his therapy, and that's different than what maybe a book might say.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: So he's taken his approach and his knowledge and what works for him, and then that makes sense for everybody, but then especially for you.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Whereas you might find a hybrid, you might say, oh well, I don't feel comfortable doing this, so let me try that, or it just gives you options as opposed to like this is the only way to do it, and if you don't do it this way, then find a different industry.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: So how can our viewers and listeners just learn more about you and follow your education and just your reducing the stigma?
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Are there any social media that you want to share?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: You don't have to.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: I am on Facebook.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: My Facebook is Amy Messmore and I mostly now just share like positive things on my Facebook feed.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: So, Good.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Well, we want to thank you for joining us for two episodes and just being so transparent with your experiences.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I know it's going to help a lot of people.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much again for having me.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: You're welcome, yeah, and we want to thank you, our viewers and our listeners that have joined us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast with in-studio guest Amy Messmore.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Check out her social media, see what she's up to.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: She is and will be continuing to do great things, reducing the stigma of mental health and helping others when given the opportunity.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: So we want to say thank you to have her in studio with us and until next time.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I am Justin Allen Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, and please be a voice for you or somebody in need.