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Brian Crutchfield - Fatherhood Involvement · Look Who's Talking

• 0:00
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking, a brand new podcast.
• 0:19
  I am your co-host, Cameron Minter, and our wonderful, magnificent Head Start director, our host, Jessica Coffie's in the house.
• 0:33
  Good morning, everyone. Good morning, good morning, good morning. We are in here, we are doing this, and we ain't playing.
• 0:39
  I guess we're not. Oh, come on now, come on. I know it's a Monday. It's a Monday. Come on.
• 0:45
  We don't tape on Mondays. No, we don't, we don't. We taped on a Monday today, and Mondays are usually Monday-ing.
• 0:53
  Well, see, I'm trying, you're starting your week off right with me, see? Now the rest of your week is going to be beautiful.
• 1:00
  But you know what, I feel like we have a different energy today. Yeah, we do. It is different. I think when we get out of our pocket of what we're normally doing, there's a new energy.
• 1:10
  I actually kind of like the energy today. You like that energy? Yeah. That's good. So have you been sick?
• 1:17
  Kim, I have. See, that's why you're energy. The epazooties done got me. Oh, the what? The epazooties.
• 1:26
  When you're sick, you got the epazooties. They got me, bruh. They got you. They got me.
• 1:31
  Wow. You know what, and it started off as a sore throat, then I was like, okay. That's always the key.
• 1:38
  I was on travel. I was at a conference and I had the sore throat. So about time I came back, I thought I was okay. I just had a little cough. I was like, oh, that's allergies.
• 1:49
  Then the next week, I was just like in bed. And yeah, so this week I feel better, though.
• 1:57
  That's good, because you too close to me not to be feeling better.
• 2:02
  Listen, let me put this plug out there. Wash your hands. Come on. Take some vitamins. Come on. Wrap up.
• 2:12
  All right, yeah, because it's cold up here today. Because the weather is changing and you don't want the epazooties like I had.
• 2:18
  Epazooties. I got kicked out the office. I know. Yes, but we not playing no more.
• 2:24
  Listen. Cough two times. Exactly. If you cough two times in our office, you got to go. You gots to go.
• 2:32
  That's terrible. But yeah, I'm feeling that. But yeah, things have changed so much that we can't afford it.
• 2:40
  You know what, my feelings was hurt because I hadn't had to use my sick time. But then when I got COVID, they was like, guess what you got to use?
• 2:48
  And I was like, oh, it just ruined me. So yeah, I have sick time. I have vacation time.
• 2:55
  See, guess what? I still haven't had COVID. I can't stand you. There's people like you.
• 3:01
  But you know what? Last week I did. I thought I had it. See? You don't be playing. We don't be playing.
• 3:06
  Because the thing that like I knew I was sick when I couldn't take it. Like I was drinking a sweet tea and it didn't taste right.
• 3:16
  And I said, yeah, yeah. Oh my. We got them signs. We got to go. Yeah. We got to go to the doctor.
• 3:24
  Yeah. But I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm glad you're back in the house. Yeah.
• 3:29
  And you know, you're such a, I don't know, this segment that we do, it kind of makes it seem like you're a very positive person.
• 3:38
  So what you mean it makes it seem like I never really, you know, kind of made that connection that, you know, you're just a positive.
• 3:48
  But yeah, I'm making it now. Ninety two percent of the time I am a positive. Okay. All right.
• 3:54
  But that eight percent, eight percent, it'll get you. If you don't see the part, if you don't see that 92 percent, the eight percent is not just made.
• 4:04
  It will be censored. It's not for viewing audience. Well, with that being said, let's get some positivity in here.
• 4:12
  It is time for a coffie break.
• 4:24
  Okay. So with today's coffie break, I want to say a positive mind finds opportunity for everything. A negative mind finds fault in everything.
• 4:36
  So going along of what we just said, try to stay positive. Got to. I'm more of a optimistic side, optimistic person.
• 4:47
  I want to see the positive, the light in everything and making sure that those things in my life that bring that negativity.
• 4:58
  I find the solution to be like, peace out. Right. Well, you got to go. Yeah.
• 5:03
  Yeah. Some. Now, some things you just can't. Yeah. Some things we got to just press through.
• 5:08
  So but yeah, trying to keep that positive energy, that positive mind frame it produces, you know.
• 5:17
  So when we're in negativity and guess what? Negativity is free. You can find it anywhere, anytime, any part of the day.
• 5:25
  That part you can find negativity, but positivity. Sometimes we have to work for that. Yeah. Yeah.
• 5:32
  But I do like what you just said to press through. Yeah. We got to press through some things.
• 5:36
  Yeah. Because sometimes it calls us to press through the through part, the pressing through part is what will end us up on the other side.
• 5:47
  That's right. That's true. Well, that was positive. We don't have an affirmation today.
• 5:53
  I mean, you know, don't just give us that part. You know, you didn't have nothing written on the wall today.
• 5:58
  No, that was it. Can you accept that? I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. It was positive. So it was beautiful.
• 6:09
  All right. We are here on a Monday because we have a special guest in the house. We do. What we got working?
• 6:16
  So we are talking about today. Fatherhood involvement. You know, we all know the importance of a father in a child's life or a male figure in a child's life.
• 6:30
  So we have a special guest today. Special guest. Yes, sir. Is Brian Crenshfield.
• 6:38
  Welcome. Welcome. He is one of our head start fathers, but he is a special head start father to me because how we met, baby.
• 6:53
  What? That's pretty loud. Yeah. So let me welcome to the show.
• 7:00
  Glad you're here, man. Thanks for having me. Well, before we before we get into, you know, what brought you here, we're just glad that you're here to share with us.
• 7:11
  Yes. Right. So what happened? What had happened? Listen, because what had happened was Brian.
• 7:19
  He almost tasted tested my head start director gangster.
• 7:27
  I was tested by gangster baby. No, but what had happened was Brian actually had a somewhat of a complaint and he didn't know who to reach out to.
• 7:41
  Yeah. So what he do he posted it on Facebook. Baby. Not two minutes later, someone tagged me in the Facebook and random. I try to check my Facebook randomly throughout the day just to see if something comes up.
• 7:58
  Right. And that happens. So I said, oh, hold on. Let me let me message him. Let me DM him. Wow. But you know what? What came out of it was a great conversation.
• 8:13
  I like reached out to him and tried to contact. We called each other and it was like the best conversation because not only did his concerns. I was like, oh, that's valid. Right. Right.
• 8:29
  And then it also made me realize we don't give, say, our parent handbook to both parents. We give our parent handbook to like whoever it says the primary parent is.
• 8:43
  We just usually give it to one parent and just assume that, you know, parents are sharing the information. That's why he didn't know who to contact. And that has made us be able to kind of problem solve, say, hey, this is something we didn't think about.
• 9:01
  But not only that, you know, after that conversation, because Brian was so vocal and I mean, he was scared to have no conversation. So I was like, hey, it sounds like you need to be on our policy.
• 9:17
  Right. Right. Put that to work. Put that energy. So he's now on our policy council. He will be going to New Orleans with us for the parent and family engagement conference in December.
• 9:31
  I'm hoping he's going to go to South Carolina for us in, I think, April for our fatherhood conference. And yeah, so Brian, we heard her side of the story that doesn't match up.
• 9:45
  That matches pretty good. She said that what the issue was, was the time frame being so short for the acceptance of the kids and me coming from Richmond.
• 9:59
  It was just it was hard trying to get inside that window. Oh, yeah. And I did what I normally do when I, you know, to the old faithful Facebook.
• 10:12
  With my with my concerns and I tried, like I said, I tried not to get out of character. I'm disrespectful and I like it was it was tasteful, but it was a valid concern, like she said.
• 10:25
  And when I soon as I posted that post, like she said, it was literally a few minutes like I hadn't even made it away from her that far. And someone had tagged her. And soon as they tagged her like she was in my inbox.
• 10:43
  And we ended up on a phone call before I got on the interstate back to Richmond. That's all right. It worked out like that. I ended up immediately deleting my original post and had to make another one. And it was just it was just wild.
• 10:56
  Everything worked out. She was just like, Hey, got an opportunity for you. Right. Yeah. We was wrapping back and forth and everything sounded good. I was like, sign me up for all that. Right.
• 11:08
  Right. And you know, that's that's a great thing. We don't always have the right answers. And a lot of times since the pandemic, we have been building the ship and flying it at the same time.
• 11:23
  So there could be disconnects. But to know that the head start director, the head start director of 13 counties is not is the one that's reaching out. Oh, I'm sorry, 15 counties is the one that's reaching out to to make sure that your voice is heard and our thought process is being relayed.
• 11:47
  That's that's just great. That's just great. And then from that, a great relationship form. So that's awesome. I told him you he can't get rid of me now. I'm putting him to work.
• 12:00
  That's what it was really like. It was interesting. It was why I worked out because not only did we exercise this opportunity because I'm here now, but that same day, you know, that was changed. Like they extended the time to 830 and it seemed to be working pretty good for everybody.
• 12:20
  So I'm glad that happened. Sometimes that squeaker will, you know, I'm saying. And that's how we are. You know, if if you just keep going and no conversation, then we can't fix any problems.
• 12:34
  This this also, you know, internally allowed, you know, me to just kind of assess like are we that and our parent meetings? I want to hear from our parents, you know, and not hearing from them.
• 12:52
  You know, you automatically perceive that, hey, maybe they're not interested or when everything is great. Exactly. When that is not the case. So we are, you know, beefing up our and not beefing up just ensuring that we are having parent meetings to ensure that our parents voices are heard.
• 13:15
  We are still again trying to work out, you know, sometimes we send out things in our child plus system and that only allows for us to contact one parent. But how can we, you know, get the information out to both parents?
• 13:31
  Right. So, yeah, in my church, we just had a baby dedication and, you know, you do one form, right. But if they're not together, right. The other parent. So we did two forms. I was like, OK, I understand.
• 13:47
  And this kind of was in the back of my head of, you know, we've got to be able to reach both parts to to make the impact on the child. Exactly. Because both parties are equally as important in the child's life. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:04
  And we've got some data about father engagement that just proves that and, you know, we're assuming mom is engaged, but father engagement is really critical for a child's growth.
• 14:20
  And it's important. Yeah, it's very important. And that's that's one of the things because Brian has displayed just evidence of being a very, very active father.
• 14:34
  And, you know, my father has always been in my life and, you know, just want to ask, you know, tell us about your background with, you know, how just your experiences have influenced how you interact with your children.
• 14:55
  So me growing up, I did have a good dad who my dad was definitely present.
• 15:04
  But my mom and dad wasn't together.
• 15:07
  But he tried, you know, but looking back, I feel like maybe he could have went a little harder.
• 15:15
  But growing up and the opportunities I did have and opportunities I didn't have altogether made me kind of father that I am now.
• 15:27
  And I know a lot of a lot of good fathers.
• 15:31
  And we all come up in the same generation.
• 15:34
  We've actually overcome a lot to the point where it's bad time to change this narrative, especially in the black community, because I know personally, several, like several awesome fathers like have done it have been there since, you know, day one.
• 15:56
  And still just driving and just doing awesome, awesome dad stuff. So basically just all my mishaps and missed opportunities and opportunities I did have they all collectively just made me the father that I am.
• 16:12
  And I'm definitely proud of it.
• 16:15
  That's what we're talking about.
• 16:17
  We are talking with Brian.
• 16:21
  Crenshfield.
• 16:22
  Crenshfield.
• 16:23
  We'll talk more about this father engagement after the break.
• 16:37
  This past year has highlighted the strength of Community Action Council. Every day, our staff works together to help families recover from this crisis. We're educating children at home and in person, helping parents who lost their jobs and helping households avoid eviction.
• 16:53
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• 17:04
  Apply online at commaction.org.
• 17:13
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• 17:17
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• 17:33
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• 17:36
  Join our team of dedicated education professionals. Apply online today at comaction.org. What are you waiting for?
• 17:56
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking and I'm here with Brian Crunchfield, one of our amazing Head Start fathers.
• 18:08
  So Brian, we just talked about how you know you had influence from your father in being a great father. So I want to talk a little bit about you being a male role model to our Head Start kids. Talk about some of the things that you've done for the program.
• 18:30
  One of the things is signing up and coming to the kids. It's actually that time I do it again. But they love that.
• 18:42
  Is there something about being right here on the spot?
• 18:45
  Yeah, and it's funny how just the little things, like I can remember being in elementary, kindergarten, first grade and stuff. We didn't even have parents come in and stuff like that, but I remember story time.
• 19:03
  I remember taking my place on the carpet, sitting in Indian style and all that. I was always engaged in story time. Even though it was a story I probably heard before, saw the pictures and everything. I was right there and I wanted to see the pictures and go along with the story.
• 19:26
  And just that alone is something that's big and important. Like every time I come up here and read to the kids, it takes me back because they're still engaged. I make sure I'm showing them pictures.
• 19:42
  Do you do the voices and everything?
• 19:45
  Oh yeah, you've got to do the voices.
• 19:47
  I'm not a really good storyteller off the top of my head, but I'll read a story now. I know the context. I'll switch the voices around.
• 19:56
  Listen, I'm a storyteller. I'll make something up in a minute.
• 19:58
  Right, you'll go off script.
• 20:02
  That storytelling is one thing that's really small, but really big. I love that. It's not that I'm thinking about it. It's time for me to sign up to do that again.
• 20:14
  You know what, one of the important things that we've assessed through some of the assessments that we've done, the data that we've taken within our programs is literacy.
• 20:29
  And how important parents reading to their children are. It's very important.
• 20:36
  We want to create an atmosphere where, one, kids like to read, they want to read, but also that's developing their language and increasing vocabulary.
• 20:50
  That's awesome. And how we be able to get the parents to buy in, the parents to be able to read at home, reinforcing.
• 21:02
  It's important that if we want our children to read, that they see parents reading. That's awesome.
• 21:11
  Another thing, we want to talk about you being an entrepreneur. You've got your own business.
• 21:18
  Yes, I do.
• 21:19
  How long have you had your own business?
• 21:21
  I've actually only had my own business for, it'll be two years in January.
• 21:26
  Oh, really?
• 21:27
  Yes, I have my own barbershop called Cutting Up Barbershop located in Richmond, Kentucky.
• 21:34
  I've actually cut her professionally for about 12 years now.
• 21:38
  Wow.
• 21:39
  But I was blessed enough to get my own business.
• 21:43
  Not this past January, January of 2022 when I established my LLC.
• 21:53
  Now, that's impressive. Why? Because that's the pandemic.
• 21:57
  Oh, yeah.
• 21:58
  Starting a business during the pandemic. I think that's commendable. That's great.
• 22:04
  That pandemic was different for a lot of people.
• 22:07
  Absolutely.
• 22:08
  Especially, I've never, before the pandemic, since I've been an adult, I've never taken off more than a week in my life ever.
• 22:18
  So when they made us, they deemed us non-essential and made us go home, it was different.
• 22:25
  Yeah, because everybody had to be creative. You're saying I'm non-essential, but I still got to eat.
• 22:32
  Yeah, exactly. Listen, and I was, ooh, the pandemic just did something to me in other ways because I was out here looking like Felicia by Felicia.
• 22:45
  Have mercy, have mercy. But yeah, that's great that you started that business. And how's it going? How are things going?
• 22:54
  Slow and steady like I like.
• 22:56
  Slow and steady.
• 22:57
  Slow and steady.
• 22:58
  That's all right. So is that what you were doing previous pandemic?
• 23:03
  Yeah, I was cutting hair just not in my own establishment.
• 23:06
  Right, right.
• 23:07
  I've been in Richmond for four years. Well, actually, that'll be four years in January as well. So before the pandemic, I was just making that commute every day.
• 23:20
  I was still cutting that Lexington. And it was just over time, it only made sense for me to try to find me a location in Richmond.
• 23:29
  There were a lot of people in Richmond that would travel to Lexington to get a haircut. And I was just like, I might be able to shortstop this a little bit.
• 23:39
  There it is. There it is.
• 23:40
  Yeah, and you know what? What I want to talk about too is the barbershop.
• 23:47
  Because the barbershop is where I feel like sometimes women aren't in, that's the men's club.
• 23:55
  Oh yeah, that's it.
• 23:56
  You know, because y'all be having conversations, but your influence not only to our Head Start children, but other men, because everybody knows the conversations go on in the barbershop.
• 24:09
  It's not quite like the women though.
• 24:11
  I was about to say, it's actually changed over the last few years. It used to be like legally you couldn't even have salons and barbers in the same building without being separated by a wall.
• 24:26
  But in the last few years, it's actually changed to where now you can have barbers and beauticians in the same room.
• 24:34
  Oh, okay.
• 24:35
  So that's changed a lot and the conversation changes a lot.
• 24:42
  I love the barber because there are unspoken rules and there are unspoken things that sometimes you see in TikTok now, they're showing it.
• 24:51
  But when a barber places your head a certain way, you'll learn from a child up that you just stay there.
• 25:00
  That's the place where he, you know what I'm saying? It's just unspoken rules like that that just crack me up.
• 25:07
  I just saw one last night where the guy was cutting the hair and he was looking him in the eyes. He's like, dude, you do not look at me in my eyes while I'm lining you up.
• 25:18
  Look away and close your eyes.
• 25:21
  I actually try to get kids used to closing their eyes just because it relaxes their forehead. You close your eyes and they're so easily distracted.
• 25:32
  They close their eyes, not only do they sit still better, but they relax their forehead.
• 25:39
  Yeah, and that alcohol swab at the end, that's a mandatory rite of passage.
• 25:44
  So do y'all do that to the kids too?
• 25:46
  Oh, yeah.
• 25:47
  Oh my goodness.
• 25:49
  The funny thing about that is it's a lot of misconception. People think when it's time for the alcohol that this is just like the worst part.
• 25:58
  Really, all the alcohol is is disinfectant to clean off after because we use the same clippers and stuff.
• 26:05
  Even though you clean clippers, it's just a part of sanitation afterwards.
• 26:10
  You only get that sting if the skin is broken.
• 26:15
  So when you got a good barber and that's to a minimum, there's not so much sting at the end.
• 26:24
  So my son, personally, my son, he's been getting a razor since he was two.
• 26:30
  And I don't lightweight, I don't baby him with the, I give him full grown man portions of alcohol at the end.
• 26:37
  He don't even flinch.
• 26:38
  That's it. That's it.
• 26:40
  That's the signs of a good barber.
• 26:42
  Don't toot your own horn, but beep beep.
• 26:45
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:46
  I come over to cut my barber's hair and feel that sting.
• 26:49
  It's a shameless plug.
• 26:52
  But I want to also talk about, Brian had a great idea to do haircuts for our Head Start kids.
• 27:02
  Let's talk about that.
• 27:03
  Yeah, it's my dream.
• 27:05
  I really think every campus, big campus anyways, should have some kind of barber facility on grounds.
• 27:19
  I just think that's important.
• 27:23
  Coming up, when I was in elementary and coming up, I remember being a lot of family resource centers and stuff like that.
• 27:32
  I don't really see too much of that anymore.
• 27:36
  Just stuff like that to give resources and stuff to families and the community who wouldn't normally have access to that kind of stuff.
• 27:47
  And haircuts is more important than people realize.
• 27:54
  It's got a lot to do with hygiene.
• 27:57
  Self confidence.
• 27:58
  Self confidence, a lot of different factors.
• 28:02
  So starting off with the kids is great, but I feel like the older kids is who really need it.
• 28:10
  Just because kids are crude.
• 28:13
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:14
  Back in my day, they used to crack jokes on each other and stuff.
• 28:18
  It was your mom and this and that.
• 28:19
  They talking about your barber.
• 28:22
  Trash.
• 28:23
  Yeah, barber is trash.
• 28:25
  What?
• 28:26
  Is that what they doing now?
• 28:29
  I just think, of course, the earlier you can start, the better.
• 28:34
  But I really think by the time, as years go on, I feel like it should be facilities like barber's facilities on every campus.
• 28:45
  I'll never forget my grandson, his mom was cutting the hair.
• 28:49
  She ain't got no skills.
• 28:50
  She was just balding them up.
• 28:53
  He didn't like it.
• 28:54
  I said, OK, it's time for us to go.
• 28:56
  And that became my bonding to go to the barbershop.
• 28:59
  But I saw Prime put a barber in the football facility.
• 29:06
  Never thought about it.
• 29:08
  Never even thought that was something that was necessary.
• 29:13
  But it is absolutely necessary.
• 29:15
  And the business is an absolute plug for a barber to have some type of setup like that.
• 29:22
  You know what I know, in Louisville, they have a barber in a couple of the schools.
• 29:29
  And we usually talk about Head Start kids and how impressionable they are at this age and their development.
• 29:38
  So starting young with hygiene, because we do do hygiene in the classroom.
• 29:45
  It just doesn't happen to be with haircuts.
• 29:49
  However, I think that's a good addition because as they grow, they know what they would like to look like.
• 29:58
  So how are we doing them early?
• 30:01
  How are we doing these haircuts?
• 30:02
  How are we going to be able to?
• 30:04
  So right now we are still in the middle of planning everything.
• 30:11
  We will start off as a bigger event and then hopefully grow to being maybe a once a month type of thing,
• 30:21
  every two weeks type of thing, then maybe weekly type of thing.
• 30:25
  Yeah, we're trying to develop it.
• 30:28
  And we will at least have one huge event to where kiddos with their parents can come out.
• 30:36
  And maybe they can not only get a haircut or maybe some hair braiding,
• 30:41
  but also just learn how to do proper hair hygiene when it comes to hair upkeep and all that.
• 30:49
  That's awesome. That's awesome.
• 30:51
  I'm pretty sure as time goes on, more and more barbers are going in.
• 30:56
  So it won't be like one barber.
• 30:59
  That's a win-win right there.
• 31:01
  That's a win-win.
• 31:03
  Brian, we're so glad you came in on the show.
• 31:06
  Yeah, thanks for having me.
• 31:07
  And this is a prime example of letting your voice be heard and being able to maximize the effects of that.
• 31:15
  Complaining got you to the wuss.
• 31:17
  I know. I stepped your foot off of that. That's what I'm talking about.
• 31:22
  That's what happens when you communicate and you be tactful and tasteful.
• 31:27
  You don't know what can work out for you.
• 31:29
  Not only that, but in that moment you advocated not for your child, but for all of the children in that center.
• 31:36
  And I just have to applaud that.
• 31:38
  Yes, yes, yes.
• 31:40
  Appreciate it.
• 31:41
  Thanks again for being on the show. You have been listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 31:45
  Please tell your friends, share the show, and we'll be back when we're back. See you.