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How to Dream Bigger and Make Friends with Fear: The Bigger, Bolder, Badass Framework · The Inspired Speaker Network

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  Your travels have brought you to the Surfing Your Edge podcast, where we explore what it
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  takes to create the bigger, bolder, badass life you know you were born for.
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  Not a life that simply looks good on paper, and not another spin on the self-help hamster
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  wheel.
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  If you're ready for more joy, more peace, and more contribution, you're in the right
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  place.
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  I'm Kristine Goad, the Surfing Your Edge coach.
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  Let's get surfing.
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  Hello and welcome to episode two of Surfing Your Edge.
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  Thank you for being here.
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  Today I want to talk to you a little bit about the framework that I have to help you surf
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  your edge.
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  And if you're still getting used to the concept of surfing your edge, remember that is the
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  way you continue to grow, is to be out on the edge of what feels comfortable, right?
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  And to stay out there a little bit longer than you might want to, so that you actually
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  expand and expand and expand your comfort zone.
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  And a lot of people talk about getting out of their comfort zone, but it's another thing
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  to actually do it.
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  So today let's talk about the framework I have for getting out of your comfort zone
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  and staying out there on the edge.
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  My framework is called Bigger Bolder Badass.
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  And the first part is bigger.
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  And in that you learn to stop reality sizing your dreams.
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  We'll talk about that later again in the podcast, but basically we need to remember what it
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  was like to be able to dream.
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  A lot of us have lost that skill.
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  And even if we do dream, we may not have any hope that those dreams might come true.
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  So I want you in the bigger, in the bigger part of the framework, I want you to dream
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  big and dream into what feels exciting, right?
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  What would make being on this planet right now totally worth it?
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  We are in a difficult time right now, right?
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  Things have been crazy for a while and they seem to get crazier.
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  And if we're going to be here, we may as well make the most of it.
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  So what would make you super excited to be here?
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  What is the thing you've always wanted to try and never given yourself permission?
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  What is something that you would want, that you would be proud to tell people you had
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  done or experimented with?
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  And maybe even this part is about thinking about what legacy you want to leave.
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  Even if you don't have children, what story do you want to leave behind, right?
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  So the first part is to really let yourself remember how to dream and how to dream bigger
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  than you've let yourself dream in a really long time.
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  And if it's too challenging, you can dream this much bigger and then this much bigger.
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  So you don't have to go all the way to the edge if that's too terrifying.
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  But to start dreaming bigger than you are currently.
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  The second part of the framework is the bolder part.
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  And this part is critical because when you start dreaming bigger, that's when all of
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  those little voices in your head that you've been accumulating your entire life come in
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  and say, Oh, who do you think you are?
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  You can't do that.
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  That is not for you.
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  Other people might be able to do that, but not you.
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  Or you're not ready for that.
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  Or it's too late for that, honey.
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  You should have done that a long time ago.
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  All of those voices click in and let you know that, hey, you are not good enough.
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  This is not for you.
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  And what I want to tell you is that everybody has those voices and they never go away.
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  And so that was my, you know, wicked witch cackle there because they don't go away.
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  But there are skills you can use to quiet them down and actually to recognize why they're there.
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  They aren't there to keep you small, necessarily.
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  They are there to keep you safe, right?
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  They don't care if you're miserable.
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  It's a part of your psychology that doesn't care if you're miserable.
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  It just wants you to keep living.
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  And it doesn't want you to do anything too scary.
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  And for a long time, for most of human history,
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  ostracism and not being accepted by your community meant death.
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  So a lot of times we are still clued in to that voice that's saying,
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  oh, people aren't going to like that.
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  If you do that, people are going to laugh.
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  If you do that, you're going to make people mad.
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  And that actually equates to dying in your brain's history, right?
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  So it's there to keep you safe.
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  So you can recognize those little voices, and you can learn to name them,
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  give them sweet little names or ugly little names.
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  And you can draw pictures of what this voice looks like and name it.
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  And then you can pat it on its little head and say,
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  thank you so much for your input and scoot it out the door, right?
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  I've heard you.
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  I appreciate you.
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  Thank you for trying to take care of me.
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  But you're not welcome here right now because I'm doing this, right?
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  I'm the only voice that matters right now.
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  So that takes practice.
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  And it's one of those practices that you have to continually practice.
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  And that's part of why we're going to have this podcast, right?
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  To help you stay in that bolder phase where you're constantly working with
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  that voice that wants you to be afraid and stay still.
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  And really, I'd love it, this is a big challenge,
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  but I'd really love it if you could start to make friends with your fear.
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  If you could stop seeing fear as a stop sign,
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  and start seeing it more as a sign that you're on the right path, right?
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  If this is worth being afraid of,
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  there's probably a good payoff at the other end if you stick with it.
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  So one of the phrases you'll hear me say is make friends with your fear.
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  And that's what we do in the bolder phase of my framework.
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  Next, we get the badass framework part of the framework.
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  And the badass part, again, part of you is probably going to be like,
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  oh, I don't need to be a badass.
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  I'm not a badass.
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  That's not part of who I am.
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  But badassery.
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  In my, actually, the first group that I led through my Bigger Bolder Badass format,
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  my program called Bigger Bolder Badass,
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  I asked them what they thought badass meant.
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  And the conclusion was that being a badass is letting yourself be fully who you are,
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  and not apologizing for it.
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  And that's what I think badass is, right?
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  It's letting yourself be the fullest expression of who you came to this planet to be.
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  And I'm gonna do a little side note here.
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  I believe there are all of these people,
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  and I was one of them for many, many, many years,
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  who are looking for their purpose, right?
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  There are people, oh, I just, I don't know why I'm here.
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  I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
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  What you're supposed to do is be the fullest expression of who you are.
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  The universe learns about itself through you.
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  So the more you you can be, the wider the lens, the more it learns and grows and evolves.
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  So being badass is you living your purpose,
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  and not giving a shit what anybody else says.
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  And that can be a challenge.
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  Again, this is all practice, right?
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  Bigger, bolder, badass is a framework,
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  but you don't just go through it once, and then you're through it, right?
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  You have to keep circling.
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  You get through the dreaming,
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  and then you learn to make friends with your fear,
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  and then you learn to live a more bold, badass life.
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  And then you're like, oh, what's the next vision?
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  And then what do I have to do with my voices to get to that level?
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  And then what does this unfolding look like, right?
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  So it's a constant cycle.
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  We never get to go through it just once and then be done.
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  So the other thing I encourage when you're in the badass part of the framework
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  is that you run experiments.
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  And I'm always experimenting with something that scares me, right?
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  Which story to tell here?
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  There are a million.
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  But basically, I am always trying to figure out what sounds fun and also scary.
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  And right now, for this summer,
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  this summer is one of those apparently my summer of yes
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  that I didn't expect to be my summer of yes.
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  But I have started rowing, like sculling with a rowing team.
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  And I have been taking beginner adult tap classes.
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  And I just signed up for a flash mob.
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  So I'll be dancing in a flash mob.
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  And I started this podcast on a whim because a friend said,
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  hey, come do this podcast journey with me.
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  So you don't have to do all of that all at once.
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  But I'm one of those people who likes to design little experiments,
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  see what that feels like.
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  And if I fail, that's part of the process, right?
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  We don't get taught as children that failure is part of the process.
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  We, especially as girls, learn that you need to look perfect all the time.
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  And that is not the case in the badass framework, right?
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  We are trying new things.
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  We're laughing at ourselves.
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  We're picking ourselves up and going, okay, that didn't work.
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  What's the next possibility?
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  So again, it's just constant experimentation.
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  And not just for the idea that you've always got to be more
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  or better, it's that how can I live more fully?
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  How can I enjoy my life more fully?
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  How can I find more wonder in this life?
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  How can I leave more good stuff in the world behind me, right?
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  So I'm not one of those people who's just always telling you,
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  you've got to be more, you've got to be better.
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  Bigger, bolder, badass is not a way of saying you are not good enough.
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  It's a way of saying there is so much more for you to experience
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  and enjoy and love about life.
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  And I want to help you go find those things.
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  So I hope you'll come back and stick around for this podcast
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  as we try out and further discuss the bigger, bolder, badass framework.