Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - I'd Had a Few Harvey Wallbangers
Transcript
- 0:00welcome everyone to very fine friends bonus improv wow jenna you sound so good i felt strange
- 0:25That was great.
- 0:26I love it.
- 0:27Thanks.
- 0:28Keep going.
- 0:29We're going to do some bonus improv this episode.
- 0:31You ready for that?
- 0:32Oh, yeah.
- 0:32I'm ready.
- 0:33Yeah?
- 0:33How ready are you?
- 0:36So ready.
- 0:37Whoa.
- 0:38She doesn't lie.
- 0:39This girl, I tell you, does not lie.
- 0:41She can't.
- 0:41She's a capable.
- 0:42I can't.
- 0:42She's a truth teller.
- 0:43I want to.
- 0:45Ah.
- 0:45She can't.
- 0:46I can't.
- 0:47Hey, Joe.
- 0:48Hey, Jenna.
- 0:49Can we get a suggestion?
- 0:51You sure can, Jenna.
- 0:52Your suggestion is the environment.
- 0:55The environment?
- 0:57The environment.
- 0:58Did it say the environment?
- 0:59The word was environmental.
- 1:01I'm changing it to the environment.
- 1:02Okay.
- 1:03As your suggestion.
- 1:08I love the environment.
- 1:10Yeah, it's all right.
- 1:12Yeah, when it's right, it's right.
- 1:13It's beautiful.
- 1:14Flowers, butterflies on flowers.
- 1:17Yeah.
- 1:17Bees and flowers.
- 1:19Animals and trees.
- 1:21Not flowers.
- 1:22what a wonderful world
- 1:25pick if you had to pick one thing that you like in the environment to go away forever
- 1:36what would you pick something i like to go away forever yeah like some bit of nature
- 1:42but i like it you like it but it's got to go away
- 1:45i would say sunsets
- 1:49Joe
- 1:51I
- 1:52They're nice but you've seen one you've seen them all
- 1:55That's just not true
- 1:56I don't know if I had to pick something
- 1:59It would be sunsets wait wait wait is the goal to get rid
- 2:02Of some like the most liked pony
- 2:03No no the goal
- 2:05Is just what's something that you do enjoy
- 2:08But like you sacrifice
- 2:09Yeah what are we are you getting anything
- 2:11For the sacrifice no it's just
- 2:13You gotta get rid of it sometimes you have to
- 2:15Make hard decisions Francis okay I can't believe
- 2:17You've been sunsets right out of the gate.
- 2:20Yeah, that was tough to hear.
- 2:21And besides, that's only a one time of day thing.
- 2:24Anything else that you give up is probably going to be like,
- 2:27like if you could like trees or bushes or whatever, flowers.
- 2:30Like that's, those are day round things.
- 2:33Let's get specific.
- 2:34I have a thought myself.
- 2:36Oh, let's hear it.
- 2:37Butterflies.
- 2:39I get rid of butterflies.
- 2:41What?
- 2:42The thing I specifically mentioned as being enjoyed?
- 2:44I know.
- 2:45I mean, and they're pretty and whatever, but I don't know.
- 2:51I'd get rid of them.
- 2:53You are both sick.
- 2:54They have pretty wings, but they still have like a gross insect body.
- 2:58If you actually look at them close up.
- 2:59Well, if you think about it, it's like they're pretty close to a moth,
- 3:03and I don't enjoy moths.
- 3:04Yeah, exactly.
- 3:05So it's like that's actually like a pretty quick leap that I can make.
- 3:08Yeah, the only difference between butterflies and moths,
- 3:11now that I think about it, is just pigmentation.
- 3:13Yeah, that butterflies are prettier.
- 3:14prettier and one works the day shift yeah um but okay that's i think that's what i would get rid of
- 3:22i think that still way more sane than sunsets wow okay i gonna say fog Ooh no but a good fog is nice
- 3:34Yeah, but you hardly ever see it.
- 3:36Well, you like fog, though?
- 3:37I do, especially like in the mountains.
- 3:38Yeah.
- 3:38Beautiful.
- 3:40Stunning.
- 3:41Gorgeous.
- 3:42But I can say goodbye.
- 3:45Okay.
- 3:46It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do.
- 3:52Hey, goodbye to fog.
- 3:53actually it wouldn't be that hard it's nice but it can go okay does it serve a purpose
- 3:59um i don't know it looks it sets a mood it is a mood setter yeah but what would
- 4:08mores be without fog less
- 4:12nice yeah i don't know
- 4:18and now improv
- 4:22Timothy?
- 4:30Yeah.
- 4:34Honey, I'm real sorry about this, but I went okay.
- 4:45This is going to be weird to think of your mother as human, but I am human.
- 4:48I went to a bar last night with some friends, and we met a guy who was fun, but he kept giving us hypothetical situations, what I thought was hypothetical situations.
- 5:03Okay.
- 5:04And turns out he was actually a bit of the devil, and they were real.
- 5:15and well anyway one of the hype of the devil a bit of the devil honey timothy i you're i'm sorry
- 5:23you're 23 uh you're my son i love you mama yeah yeah anyway he asked all of us
- 5:34if you had to get rid of one of your relatives who would you get rid of
- 5:44Oh, Mama.
- 5:46I'd had a few Harvey Wallbangers, okay?
- 5:51You know how I get.
- 5:53What have you done, Mama?
- 5:54When I get a drop of the Harvey in me, I get a little crazy.
- 6:00And I said you, honey.
- 6:03Mama, no.
- 6:04I'm sorry.
- 6:04Not Timothy.
- 6:06I'm sorry.
- 6:07Mama.
- 6:08I didn't know it was real at the time.
- 6:11Turns out it's real.
- 6:12Why would you even say that as a joke, Mama?
- 6:15I, well, I didn't say it as a joke.
- 6:18I was answering the question, honestly.
- 6:21Um, if it makes you feel any better, I also said that I would be baby spice if I had to be a spice girl.
- 6:30So that's why I have these pigtails now.
- 6:35Okay, it makes me feel a little better.
- 6:36But Mama, what does it mean?
- 6:38I gotta go?
- 6:39What's gonna happen to me?
- 6:41Go where?
- 6:42Timothy's scared.
- 6:44Timothy, I gotta be honest with you,
- 6:46referring to yourself in the third person
- 6:48is part of the reason why you're going.
- 6:50Okay.
- 6:51Timothy sorry I don know where the devil gonna take you I I don want to go Mama I want to stay Mama Mama don make me go Mama
- 7:02Mama.
- 7:03Also, the way you call me Mama,
- 7:08like you're some kind of 1920s Dust Bowl character,
- 7:12that I'm not a fan of either.
- 7:14I'll just pack my stuff.
- 7:17Oh, no, you don't get to take your things.
- 7:19Mama, what?
- 7:21I'm sorry.
- 7:23What can I do to change things?
- 7:25I want things to be as they were.
- 7:27I don't know.
- 7:29You're going to have to...
- 7:30I'm sorry.
- 7:31It's out of my hands at this point.
- 7:33I'm sorry.
- 7:33Hey, honey, honey, I love you.
- 7:36I didn't want to get rid of anybody.
- 7:38I'm staying, mama.
- 7:39I didn't want to pick anybody, but this was like a, no, you have to choose.
- 7:43It's a hard situation kind of a thing.
- 7:46What was I going to do?
- 7:47Pick your father?
- 7:48No.
- 7:49Your sister?
- 7:50God, no.
- 7:50I'm not picking her
- 7:52She's great
- 7:53She calls me mom
- 7:55Oh
- 7:57She refers to herself as I
- 7:59Or me
- 8:00I could do that
- 8:02Not Dana, which is her name
- 8:04I don't know what to do
- 8:06Is he gonna come get me?
- 8:10Yeah, as far as I know
- 8:11Do I just drop dead?
- 8:13He said I was allowed to say goodbye
- 8:15And then
- 8:16Oh, is this goodbye?
- 8:18This is goodbye, honey
- 8:20How about a hug?
- 8:22Won't that make things harder?
- 8:25I feel like it'll just make it harder.
- 8:27Oh.
- 8:28Okay.
- 8:29How about a firm handshake?
- 8:34Okay.
- 8:38That's your version of firm.
- 8:39Okay.
- 8:41Okay, Mom.
- 8:44Very good, honey.
- 8:45It's not too late.
- 8:47Well, it is for you.
- 8:48But I hope wherever you end up, you remember these lessons.
- 8:52And I don't know, see if you can work something out with the devil.
- 8:58Then if he's willing to send you back.
- 9:01But otherwise, the Harvey Wallbanger promise has kept.
- 9:07You got to keep those.
- 9:08I'm sorry.
- 9:09I understand.
- 9:10The lady's got to have a code.
- 9:12Yeah, and I should have been a better son.
- 9:14I should have learned how to speak right.
- 9:17You're good. You said I.
- 9:19See?
- 9:20I wish you had told me this.
- 9:23I still probably would have picked you.
- 9:24It's not too late. Call him. Call him on the rotary phone, Mom.
- 9:27Okay, honey, there's nothing.
- 9:30Oh, you hear that?
- 9:32Oh, there's just a clap of thunder, and it's totally blew out.
- 9:36So, I guess that means he's here for you.
- 9:42Okay. Okay. Okay.
- 9:45Hey, Timothy.
- 9:46Oh.
- 9:48I have a bit of the devil in me.
- 9:52Oh, um, excuse me one second.
- 9:55I gotta comb my hair.
- 9:56Oh, yeah.
- 9:57Mom.
- 9:59He's gorgeous.
- 10:00Honey, you can see, you can see why I, you can see why I got into the trouble that I got into.
- 10:06Oh my God, and the horns.
- 10:07I know.
- 10:08Oh my God, I am Timothy.
- 10:10I am Timothy, and you are my mom.
- 10:11So, how young are you?
- 10:16Like, is this your grandma or something?
- 10:19She will hate this I 23 Last night you said I looked young you little asshole Well that was after five Harvey Wallbangers and one blueberry daiquiri
- 10:30Well, I'm ready to go.
- 10:31I don't know about you.
- 10:33I'm ready to go.
- 10:34Devil, is there anything we can do to work this out?
- 10:37Shh, Mom, you've been through so much.
- 10:39Mr. Devil, that seems wrong.
- 10:41Do you have a name?
- 10:43Mr. Devil is my father's name.
- 10:44Call me John.
- 10:47John.
- 10:48It rhymes with Mom.
- 10:50God, you see why I wanted to get rid of him, right?
- 10:53Devil
- 10:53Wait
- 10:54I've always wanted someone to call me Mama
- 10:58What?
- 11:00Hmm
- 11:00This is
- 11:01It's been my life's one big dream
- 11:03Oh, recently it was taken away from me
- 11:06What?
- 11:08Yeah, she doesn't like it, but you like it?
- 11:09I hate it
- 11:10Oh
- 11:10Oh
- 11:12Quiet, Mom
- 11:13Hi, Mama
- 11:14Hi
- 11:15Mama
- 11:16Oh, it just feels so right to hear
- 11:19What is happening?
- 11:24I'm going to take you away from your mother the way that she took mama away from you.
- 11:29Wow.
- 11:30This is...
- 11:32Devil, I had so much respect for you.
- 11:36What is going on?
- 11:38You like that?
- 11:39You like being called mama?
- 11:42Like you're in a John Steinbeck novel?
- 11:46Sure do, mama.
- 11:47Oh my god
- 11:50It's so funny, I'm ironically the only one here who's not mama
- 11:53We could make that happen
- 11:57Timothy
- 11:59God, I just want both of you gone right now
- 12:06Do you want to stay?
- 12:09No, don't stay
- 12:10Don't stay, no devil
- 12:12You said you promised
- 12:15He told you not to call him that
- 12:16And also, yeah, I have a bit of the devil in me.
- 12:19I mean, if I'm going to make someone uncomfortable by sticking around, then yeah, I'm probably going to do it.
- 12:24Oh, I just have one quick question.
- 12:26Shit.
- 12:27It's just dawning on me.
- 12:31Sorry, this is silly.
- 12:35Don't be sorry, Timothy.
- 12:36Thanks.
- 12:36It's just that I looked out the window and you pull up in an old truck.
- 12:39And I'm wondering if the backfire of the truck is what we heard as the sun.
- 12:44What I'm wondering is, how do we really know you're...
- 12:50The devil?
- 12:51I didn't want to say it, but yeah.
- 12:53Oh.
- 12:55Well.
- 12:58All right.
- 12:59I didn't want to do this, but here.
- 13:02I'm lifting up the back of my shirt so you can see the lower back tattoo
- 13:06that will prove incontrovertibly that I have a bit of the devil in me.
- 13:12Whoa.
- 13:12Look at it right now and describe what you see.
- 13:16It's a goat holding a snake with an apple in its mouth and flipping off the sky.
- 13:27And right above that is Calvin peeing on both of them.
- 13:33Whoa, mama.
- 13:36Scene.
- 13:42See you next time.