Latest / A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast / Talks to Luke Molloy & Dylan Rees about their choice of The Keys of Marinus (6/6)

Transcript

Talks to Luke Molloy & Dylan Rees about their choice of The Keys of Marinus (6/6) · A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

• 0:19
  None. Hamster with a blunt.
• 0:35
  Pen knife, they're doing quicker.
• 0:39
  Welcome back to a hamster with a blunt pen knife, where we're
• 0:42
  talking about the Keys of Marinus episode The Keys of
• 0:46
  Marinus. Don't know how they did that
• 0:48
  there, but that's what it's called.
• 0:50
  It's episode 6. We're about to hit the climax.
• 0:53
  We've got a man dressed in leather, a man in the hood,
• 0:55
  we've got Altos's tiny shorts and we've got Joe Ford.
• 0:58
  Joe, welcome. Just how?
• 1:01
  Many of these individually titled episodes are the same as
• 1:05
  the title of the story. Is there any others?
• 1:07
  Isn't the Daleks, Isn't that the Daleks?
• 1:09
  An episode of The Daleks. No, I think it might be an
• 1:11
  episode of Dalek Invasion of Earth.
• 1:14
  Oh yeah, it's the Mutants. That's an episode of The Daleks,
• 1:16
  is there? Is there a web planet called the
• 1:18
  Web Planet? There is, oh, there's an episode
• 1:21
  called The Rescue, but I think that's in.
• 1:23
  In the Daleks. This could get.
• 1:28
  Very confusing. Is there a reign of terror?
• 1:33
  That could be the death of Doctor Who.
• 1:35
  Wasn't that the name of a Sarah Jane adventure?
• 1:38
  Oh no. Definitely.
• 1:38
  That's death and the Doctor. Bang out absolute banger.
• 1:42
  And as you may have heard, Luke Malloy's here also those
• 1:46
  questions. I mean, it's no surprise you've
• 1:48
  heard five episodes. Which one's the The Invasion?
• 1:52
  That's an episode title of what story?
• 1:57
  The the first episode of Invasion of the Dinosaurs.
• 2:01
  They just took out the dinosaurs to keep the suspense.
• 2:04
  No, I swear this one is it? Is it the word planet again?
• 2:08
  Oh, I think there is one called the Invasion.
• 2:10
  Yeah, yeah. Wow.
• 2:13
  I always like escape to danger from the sensor eyes.
• 2:17
  That's it's every terrorist diction organization doesn't.
• 2:20
  It yeah, it's good that. Can I, can I ask you fellas a
• 2:25
  question? Because we've done this before,
• 2:28
  you know, you and I, yes we have.
• 2:31
  We have done a six part commentary before, but for Too
• 2:35
  Hot for TV when we covered the riveting animation classic
• 2:40
  Scream of the Shaka. When Dylan was happy.
• 2:47
  I mean, that's six parts. How do they compare?
• 2:51
  This is better because it's not a fucking cartoon.
• 2:55
  Yeah, I've got to say this is this is much better.
• 2:58
  Than and it's got a doctor that actually wants to be here and
• 3:02
  he's missing for two episodes. I mean it is double the length
• 3:06
  though right? The The Shalkar episodes were
• 3:08
  only 10 minutes long. Yeah, but they felt longer,
• 3:11
  didn't they? Did feel longer.
• 3:15
  They're all right. They're fine.
• 3:17
  They're fine. Well, are you still enjoying the
• 3:21
  Keys of Marinus? I suppose there's a question.
• 3:22
  Hell yeah I wish it was a 12 parter.
• 3:25
  You do. Yeah.
• 3:28
  What the fuck else could we do? Or Mariners.
• 3:30
  We're on the best planet in Doctor Who history.
• 3:32
  They. Haven't done anything on a boat.
• 3:34
  They haven't done anything on a plane.
• 3:36
  Oh, my God, I thought that you could have a whole episode in a
• 3:39
  casino where they have to do a heist, you know, I mean, yeah, I
• 3:43
  mean, the, the, the, the winning thing is the microchip.
• 3:47
  Microchip key. Yeah.
• 3:49
  Perfect. We haven't done a desert, we
• 3:51
  haven't done under the sea. God, there's so many options.
• 3:56
  The swing This club of Marisa Marinus where Susan has to shag
• 4:00
  for the key. The key is up my ass.
• 4:08
  Is it? Oh.
• 4:11
  Presented with 9 asses and you've got to guess what.
• 4:15
  I'd have great fun. It's quite roomy and you're so
• 4:21
  I'll get in there quick. Oh good grief, should we watch
• 4:25
  episode 6? We should, shouldn't we?
• 4:27
  We should. How does it always come back to
• 4:30
  Dilla's house? Everything does.
• 4:35
  OK, are. You ready?
• 4:37
  Ready. Three one.
• 4:42
  Sorry Dilla, I totally took over there.
• 4:43
  I'm sorry, I do apologise. I mean, you can take over.
• 4:45
  It's your podcast. I was just doing the welcome
• 4:47
  back door. I was supposed to be having a
• 4:50
  lazy night though, you know? I know with you 2.
• 4:52
  Whatever bullshit you come up with, I can put it out and
• 4:54
  people absolutely adore it, you know?
• 4:56
  Excellent. That's nice.
• 4:58
  Should we just whistle for half? An hour, wake up.
• 5:10
  Imagine I could 10 with Hartnell.
• 5:13
  No, even. Better.
• 5:15
  Did you hear sigh heart on the episode where he proposed the
• 5:19
  theory that every single Doctor's second story would fit
• 5:25
  Hartnell perfectly? Arc in space because it's just
• 5:28
  wandering around for that first episode in the location like
• 5:31
  they did a lot in Hartnell's time.
• 5:32
  The ghost monument, you know do the second story The Beast
• 5:36
  below. Space babies.
• 5:37
  Works for all of them, actually. Yeah, you could do Space Babies,
• 5:42
  a creature made of Michael Smoke.
• 5:45
  I'm I'm in. Night of the Doctor.
• 5:54
  No, I'm just being silly. No, this episode is quite
• 5:57
  unusual for an episode of Marinus, and at least like 1/3
• 6:00
  of it is still set in the courtroom drama, if not half.
• 6:04
  Oh I see. You mean there's overlap between
• 6:06
  2:00? Whereas all the others we leave
• 6:08
  and we might see a glimpse of the next episode or a glimpse of
• 6:11
  the last one. But yeah, like the last episode,
• 6:13
  sort of an episode and 1/2. And I did.
• 6:16
  I did forget about that. I thought the courtroom stuff
• 6:19
  was wrapped up in Episode 5. But yeah, you're right.
• 6:22
  Just going. Every time I watch the Keys of
• 6:24
  Mariner. So yeah, I get to the end of the
• 6:26
  courtroom thing, and I think that's the end of the story.
• 6:28
  And I forget we got to go back to Arbitan with the keys, which
• 6:32
  is what we're doing the whole time.
• 6:34
  And that does feel like a bit of an afterthought.
• 6:36
  Is it Arbitan? 100% looks no different.
• 6:41
  Some dreadful energy has leaked from his machine and left him a
• 6:44
  mutated We'll never know. I can't really heard them now,
• 6:49
  but I did remember there being quite a lot of fluffs in Well in
• 6:54
  Keys and Miners, but specifically in this episode as
• 6:57
  well. Yeah, Hartnell gets a couple in
• 6:59
  this one as well. He's been back a week now.
• 7:01
  He's not heard again. First week he was knackered,
• 7:04
  second week knackered. 3rd and 4th he's off.
• 7:08
  This week he's back and he's like I'm ready to go, give me
• 7:10
  the courtroom scene. And now stumbling over his words
• 7:13
  because he had a whiskey at lunchtime.
• 7:15
  When's he on holiday again? Oh, so now look, if we were
• 7:17
  doing, you know, the 1st Doctor investigates and you'd have his
• 7:21
  trusty assistant Barbara here in interrogating all the suspects.
• 7:27
  She'd be great. I.
• 7:30
  Do like the concepts, but it is just a more boring Doctor Who,
• 7:33
  isn't it? Well.
• 7:35
  Yes. It's just which is what?
• 7:39
  Which is what the historicals are as well.
• 7:43
  What is that thing on the wall which she's got behind them
• 7:45
  there? Did you see it?
• 7:48
  It looked like a Wicker Man made out of lollies.
• 7:50
  Oh, full stop. Next question.
• 7:53
  Marvelous art Killer Stein. Oh, Dylan, did you make the
• 7:57
  cake? Oh no, I forgot one day.
• 8:04
  It's not like we can eat it, we just have to say it would.
• 8:07
  Not watch me eat this cake, I'm rubbing myself in it.
• 8:13
  I'm for the listeners who might not know what cake was it going
• 8:15
  to be. It was going to be the brains.
• 8:19
  Wouldn't that be a great? Yeah, it'd be so good.
• 8:22
  Come on. Although imagine a yacht cake as
• 8:24
  well. Just a helmet.
• 8:26
  Great. Great, wouldn't it?
• 8:29
  Can you call your sequel The Cakes of Marinus?
• 8:33
  We'll see. And it's enough of.
• 8:36
  Extalment of William Hart to investigators because there's
• 8:39
  poison in the cakes. Yeah, well Kate, Kate could be
• 8:44
  the the 9 arses thing as well. Now, I don't know whether you
• 8:49
  know this, but Carla has well and truly revealed herself as a
• 8:52
  villain by crying in the moment she left the room just.
• 8:55
  Go wonderful, that's. What they call acting.
• 9:00
  And there she is. She's she's got Susan through a
• 9:02
  very thin door. I think, do you think John
• 9:05
  Nathan Turner watched this and you thought, well, we're trying
• 9:07
  to just in the cast for the 25th anniversary story?
• 9:11
  She would be amazing as Lady Painful.
• 9:13
  It has blown my mind that she's Lady Painful.
• 9:17
  And who else do you get that's linked with the genesis of the
• 9:19
  show in Silver Nemesis? Oh, the old man.
• 9:24
  The old man who was one of the actors they considered for the
• 9:26
  Doctor, the one that the pain. The one who goes to the start
• 9:30
  it's orbit is decaying that man. Yeah, he was in the running for
• 9:34
  the first Doctor. Nice.
• 9:36
  It wouldn't have been as good. He wouldn't have done that
• 9:39
  investigating scene as well. No.
• 9:44
  Exactly. OK, what's occurring now?
• 9:45
  Come on now, stop talking. This is what This is what I like
• 9:48
  about listening to podcast though, because the information
• 9:52
  of which classic actors appeared in which stories just never
• 9:55
  stays in my head. So I listen to a podcast night.
• 9:58
  Oh my God. Like the guy in the Mutants
• 10:01
  turns up in Voyage to the Damned.
• 10:02
  That's mind blowing do. You know what's going to.
• 10:04
  Be Jeffrey Palmer. Yeah, he's in the solar rooms as
• 10:07
  well. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't know
• 10:10
  that. Thanks.
• 10:11
  Do you know what's going to blow your mind?
• 10:13
  The lady that plays Barbara is also a Megalos.
• 10:17
  No, the lady who plays Jane Blythe in the Sea Devils.
• 10:27
  You're the one with the sandwiches.
• 10:28
  Oh yeah, that's Maggie Harris, isn't it?
• 10:30
  From Fury from the Deep. The Sea Devils also has Russell
• 10:34
  on it. Does it?
• 10:36
  Who's Donald? Sumter.
• 10:38
  Oh, of course it does. Yeah, it's a submarine, man, and
• 10:41
  we could get a whole episode out of this, you know?
• 10:44
  You know that Mailer from them. The Mind of evil is that wet one
• 10:49
  with the gun in Revenge of the Sidemen.
• 10:53
  What? What would?
• 10:56
  The gun, my favorite that I only found out a few years ago that
• 10:59
  still blows my mind, is that Iron Gran is also that guy, the
• 11:04
  pilot from Nightmare of Eden who gets really high halfway
• 11:07
  through. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:10
  And then the one I heard on on Strictly was that the guy from
• 11:14
  the dominant has been the old guy in the 11th hour in the car
• 11:17
  park mine. Yeah, Kelly.
• 11:20
  Is that like the the longest between 2:00?
• 11:23
  Surely not. Oh no, but Prelix from the
• 11:27
  Pirate Planet is the man who goes everyone stay in your homes
• 11:31
  in Army of Ghosts and Doomsday. Well, they've got Jericho.
• 11:37
  Who? The guy?
• 11:39
  Sheila. Lang yeah.
• 11:40
  McNally Council. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 11:48
  Russell, though, he was playing here and that's the longest,
• 11:51
  right? That's the lies actually the
• 11:52
  longest, the key being inside the Mace, as I said in the last
• 11:55
  episode, I thought was so clever because I think the first time I
• 11:59
  watched this I was really following.
• 12:00
  I'm really being like where the hell could that key be?
• 12:03
  And this reminds me of a Jonathan Creek episode so much.
• 12:10
  Would you just have a look at the size of that fellow's gun
• 12:12
  there on his gun belt? Did you see it?
• 12:14
  I know. As big massive, wouldn't it?
• 12:17
  Massive. Yeah, length and girth in his
• 12:20
  gun. There was almost another
• 12:23
  courtroom scene in this episode, but they felt they'd had enough.
• 12:27
  And. They didn't want to spend money
• 12:30
  on the 20 extras to get them back because there was 20 extras
• 12:33
  in that last scene. Poor old, he got to look so
• 12:36
  dejected there, didn't he he? Was Gladiator.
• 12:44
  I love. They all went shot together.
• 12:46
  Yeah, I love in classic Doctor Who when they're like, we need
• 12:48
  to get these people in the scene together and to have a
• 12:50
  conversation and they stand in a row.
• 12:52
  Yeah, it really reminds me of the Chimney era actually
• 12:57
  studying that TARDIS or just. It's when you've got 4
• 13:01
  characters, you have to find inventive ways to get them all
• 13:04
  in the shop. Just.
• 13:06
  I mean, there's a. Few more edits in the chimney
• 13:08
  era. They should.
• 13:09
  They should. Save it though.
• 13:12
  Instead of giving Ryan dyspraxia, they should have
• 13:14
  given him narcolepsy. So every time we win the Tarvis
• 13:17
  he just felt fell asleep. But then they could get on with
• 13:19
  having conversations with the other two.
• 13:21
  What do you mean? He does have narcolepsy, doesn't
• 13:23
  he? He's Thompson.
• 13:25
  Cole has. Gone on to lead a very
• 13:28
  successful series. I think he's great.
• 13:30
  I'll be in stick. After watching Greatest Show in
• 13:33
  the Galaxy, I'm actually on board for a companion to have a
• 13:36
  bit of a power, like a were a werewolf or something.
• 13:39
  Not to be overused, but the. Max Trilogy.
• 13:42
  Luke in Big Finish. And you know, too hot for TV's
• 13:46
  has swayed me. They are fucking dreadful
• 13:48
  though. I only I only listened to that
• 13:50
  one but. Fuck no, you didn't get the
• 13:52
  worse the middle one. The middle one was.
• 13:55
  That was the middle one on the no.
• 13:57
  You did the last one but the Alan Bowles one, didn't you?
• 13:59
  No, there's a there's the. The last one is set on something
• 14:03
  else. This is definitely the middle of
• 14:04
  the trilogy. Are you sure?
• 14:06
  Yeah. Yeah, he did the research.
• 14:09
  No. The first one was a monster
• 14:11
  story, the middle one was the romance one on the werewolf
• 14:13
  planet, and the last one was the Alan Bowles one.
• 14:16
  I swear. Maybe I'm wrong.
• 14:18
  Well, in four days time Coda wants and future comes out show
• 14:23
  all very excited for that Joe re listen to the others so you've
• 14:27
  got the context going in you. Must be joking.
• 14:31
  I've never put myself through that again.
• 14:34
  I'll do the Dylan Reece approach the first and last 10 minutes.
• 14:37
  That's it. Right.
• 14:39
  We've clearly sick. We've clearly run out of things
• 14:42
  to say of other cases. Well, no, because what they're
• 14:44
  doing now is what they do do on Jonathan Creek, and that is they
• 14:47
  set a trap, don't they, for the killer.
• 14:50
  And now that he's there trying to get the evidence and they're
• 14:53
  waiting for him. It is usually a bit better on
• 14:55
  Jonathan Creek than just turning the lights off and hiding behind
• 14:57
  the cupboard, but we love classics, I'd say for this.
• 15:02
  Look at Hartnell turning the light on.
• 15:04
  Gotcha, you bastard. Yo-yo.
• 15:14
  And it's great that the case inside the mates and then it's
• 15:18
  they're not really asked is committed the crimes just all
• 15:20
  right, we've got what to do. Let's go.
• 15:23
  But like, you see what he said? Oh yeah, I know.
• 15:25
  It was in there all along, don't worry.
• 15:28
  What the fuck? Arbiter said.
• 15:30
  We need them as a matter of urgency.
• 15:31
  You should have said fuck. Ian took the key and gone.
• 15:34
  What I like is when they disappear, everybody goes, oh,
• 15:37
  we shouldn't tell anybody about this, they won't believe us.
• 15:39
  It's like, surely you know about the technology that's available
• 15:43
  on your own planet. It's not like this is a tribe in
• 15:45
  a like a desert somewhere. This is a like a city with like
• 15:49
  technology and resources. They must know what Arbitan's.
• 15:52
  Been you've got the Atlas. Yeah, I have actually.
• 15:56
  No, you don't. And this is right next to it.
• 15:58
  Can you tell me about all the land masses on trends of law
• 16:01
  then please? No, there aren't any, no.
• 16:05
  It's just a big monument of the TARDIS, that's it.
• 16:09
  No, that never happens. That never.
• 16:10
  Happens. Oh fucking tiny.
• 16:13
  Why me? It's also a planet called
• 16:15
  Christmas though, isn't it? Is it?
• 16:18
  Isn't that the? The it's a, it's a village
• 16:21
  called Christmas on Planet Chancellor.
• 16:23
  Come on. I mean.
• 16:25
  The two stories are right next to each other.
• 16:27
  How can they contradict each other from story to story?
• 16:30
  They don't contradict. There's no landmass there, they
• 16:33
  just built. They built all the structures on
• 16:35
  plot holes. You know what though?
• 16:38
  We're heading back to a a very exciting land.
• 16:40
  Also handles the longest surfing companion.
• 16:43
  Sorry. Back to Arbitan's palace,
• 16:46
  surrounded by the acid sea. I love this effect of them
• 16:49
  disappearing and there's like they've gone for the split
• 16:51
  screen thing and they they stand on the black and then the other
• 16:54
  stand in the set like they're on the the edge of the set.
• 16:56
  It just looks so cool. What's the time though?
• 16:58
  It is sophisticated. It is 100%.
• 17:01
  I wasn't slagging it off. It's it looks really cool.
• 17:03
  It's always hard to tell with you, you know that's true.
• 17:08
  Randomly, does anyone want to hear my theory about the the the
• 17:11
  Valley Yard? No.
• 17:14
  Go on, it's very quick that that.
• 17:17
  Is your attack of the vault. Listening to you talk about
• 17:21
  Amy's choice, my new theory is that if the Dream Lord had won
• 17:26
  that battle, he'd go on to become the Valley Yard, but
• 17:29
  actually time changed because the Doctor defeated him.
• 17:33
  That's quite. And that's why we don't see the
• 17:35
  Valley Yard in the future anyway.
• 17:39
  We've just seen the same model shot from episode 1.
• 17:42
  But here's the other thing. Which is gorgeous.
• 17:44
  Now they've appeared, I wanted to show you look.
• 17:46
  No this. Fabulous board set that Mark's
• 17:50
  got with Ian right in the middle.
• 17:52
  That's amazing, isn't? He gorgeous.
• 17:53
  They've very detailed as well. Yeah, that's amazing.
• 17:57
  I've got an Igon Mossford but it doesn't look as good as that I.
• 18:00
  Can't be honest, right? You see how their head sticks up
• 18:03
  like that? I mean that would work better
• 18:05
  than some of the things in my drawer.
• 18:09
  You just missed a void entering the room and tripping.
• 18:13
  Whatever is rubber flippers. Yeah, exactly.
• 18:17
  But what are the void? Look at look at Sabita taking
• 18:23
  control. Now be quiet.
• 18:24
  I gave you no permission to speak to Altos.
• 18:28
  She wasn't like that when she was in that city being a fucking
• 18:30
  slave, was she? She obviously thinks more of the
• 18:34
  brains than she does of the. Void.
• 18:36
  She's found her balls now you know.
• 18:38
  The brains were giving her like dresses and turkeys and grapes.
• 18:42
  I mean, I do love dresses, turkeys and grapes.
• 18:46
  That'd probably be enough for me.
• 18:48
  Couple of BBVCDS. And drapes and grapes and BBV
• 18:52
  look. At this now it's fucking great
• 18:54
  knife and they threatened to I mean you just wouldn't do this
• 18:56
  on kids study now would. You.
• 18:58
  No, I know you'll. Be done with computers.
• 19:01
  When was that? Is that was that between classic
• 19:04
  and new? Because obviously there was
• 19:05
  knives as late as Paradise Towers wasn't.
• 19:08
  There, Yeah. No, I think that's when they're
• 19:10
  like on a kids show. You need to sort it.
• 19:11
  Out, yeah. I'm not sure we should be
• 19:14
  encouraging kids to go to the kitchen and stab their little
• 19:18
  brothers and sisters. Also the society changed and
• 19:21
  knife crime became a lot more prevalent within younger.
• 19:23
  I'm not talking about 6 year olds, but you know, like knife
• 19:26
  crime became much more of a headline thing.
• 19:29
  Oh. Well, you've been to Crawley,
• 19:30
  have you? I have, yeah.
• 19:31
  And they actually said when the knife crime epidemic started,
• 19:36
  they said actually it was down to the scene with the scissors,
• 19:38
  an edge of destruction that. That.
• 19:41
  We knew we could blame. Carolyn.
• 19:43
  Ford somehow. There's teenagers on the street
• 19:46
  dressed as Louise Jameson jumping through.
• 19:50
  Windows. I mean there's a period in
• 19:52
  season 22 where every story of flashing knives every 5 minutes.
• 19:57
  You know, Car Cara being stabbed in Revelation of the Dalek.
• 20:01
  Oh yeah, but that is the season where the doctor that she
• 20:03
  suffocates someone to death. No shit's giving, no shit.
• 20:09
  Fuck being a moral force in the universe, I'm just violent.
• 20:12
  But but Jodie Whittaker kills some mutant spiders by
• 20:15
  suffocation and everyone's. Like.
• 20:18
  That, absolutely. Yeah, no, it's that she won't
• 20:22
  let them just get shot, you know?
• 20:25
  What? What they argue it and that is
• 20:27
  the guy wants to shoot them and kill them quicker and she's like
• 20:31
  no that's and they arguing as well.
• 20:34
  You're letting them suffer for no reason.
• 20:37
  They've got some Stormzy before they went, oh look, we're back
• 20:43
  in that fabulous conscious set. I do like that huge.
• 20:47
  What is it? Hexagon Octagon?
• 20:49
  Me too. How much?
• 20:51
  I'll buy one. Who makes them?
• 20:54
  Is that Rob Richard? Who makes the?
• 20:58
  As your tag inserts the keys right, the whole life starts
• 21:02
  vibrating really loudly and that God, you just want to put your
• 21:06
  hand on that, wouldn't you? It would be the.
• 21:08
  Best. Yeah, the vibration.
• 21:11
  Oh. Luke, honestly, do you have fun
• 21:19
  in your life? Oh yeah, OK, That's why I
• 21:23
  wouldn't put my hand on it. Oh my God, another knife.
• 21:27
  Look, I mean, we've had domestic violence, domestic violence,
• 21:33
  rape and knives. It was the 60s, everyone was
• 21:35
  happy. They didn't care what was on TV.
• 21:38
  You're trying to say everyone watching Doctor Who was stoned
• 21:41
  but. Most of them started drinking at
• 21:44
  11:00 AM and like, all they ate was like luncheon meat and
• 21:47
  they're having the time of their life.
• 21:49
  Spam. Everything was fried, you could
• 21:52
  drink all day long. Smoking wasn't bad for you.
• 21:54
  It was. Sounds like a wonderful time to
• 21:56
  be alive. It was.
• 21:58
  And wasn't everyone having it off as well?
• 22:00
  Yeah. Free love.
• 22:02
  Free love. And they had William Hartnell on
• 22:05
  TV playing the Doctor. Sometimes when he wasn't on
• 22:08
  holidays when he wasn't off shagging as well.
• 22:11
  I could. Quite like this scene.
• 22:13
  You know what, Not only because it's shot between sort of
• 22:16
  through a set, which is quite nice, but actually you do
• 22:19
  believe for half a second that these pair may have a
• 22:21
  relationship. He goes.
• 22:22
  I'll never leave you, Sebifa. I'll die with you.
• 22:26
  He will. At the moment he's a nice young
• 22:28
  man. Altos is off.
• 22:30
  She can do better and she will do better in the sequel Return
• 22:34
  to Marinus. The cakes of Marinus, that's.
• 22:38
  The 9 cakes of Marinus you need to fix the sex machine of
• 22:43
  Marinus. We're seeing one of the most
• 22:46
  unconvincing disguises of Doctor Who, up there with the Cyber Man
• 22:50
  in the bed in the moon base. This is worse.
• 22:53
  This is worse. If if his face had been mutated
• 22:57
  by it's just dubbed The Machine, you wouldn't want to see that.
• 23:01
  Yeah, just dubbed. I'm suffering from a deadly
• 23:05
  disease. He's got a very clipped voice as
• 23:08
  well, doesn't he? Hello everybody.
• 23:11
  I mean, yeah, I think in this impersonation, and I say that in
• 23:15
  quotation marks. He's no junk culture, is it?
• 23:18
  Would work. Do you know he's not?
• 23:21
  Potential or. What?
• 23:24
  Sorry, do you know who plays Yaltek of the Vault?
• 23:27
  No, go on. It's the same man who's
• 23:30
  psychotic in the censor rights, you know John who's going along
• 23:34
  corridor. Yeah, I thought you were going.
• 23:36
  To say that Stephen Dartnell, I think his name is.
• 23:39
  No, that's made-up. He's just gone.
• 23:41
  William Arnall. Stephen Dartnell.
• 23:42
  Will you Google that, please? Come on Mr. Research, Google
• 23:45
  that. Bignell hasn't told me.
• 23:47
  Unfortunately, I can only research if Bignell tells me to
• 23:50
  do. You know what, though, and I'm
• 23:53
  not going to, I'm not going to say this is a good plan from the
• 23:57
  villain. But after we saw how Carla and
• 23:59
  her husband slipped up in court, it's quiet.
• 24:02
  It's quite in character for this world that people of this world
• 24:05
  will buy this impersonation. What I think is sad is, is maybe
• 24:10
  we should have dumped the courtroom in an episode and had
• 24:14
  a whole episode with the void. Yeah, and made them actually
• 24:18
  into some sort of presence. Just give them time to take the
• 24:22
  mask off. If you wrote this now, the void
• 24:25
  would be chasing them throughout every episode.
• 24:28
  And yeah, it's quite nice that they're not, even though I like
• 24:31
  the void do. You know what I saw then?
• 24:34
  You know that scene in Love of Monsters when they're running
• 24:36
  back and forth? Just Ford, the Doctor, Barbara.
• 24:39
  That's the only thing that could Make Love a monster better if
• 24:42
  you replace the Hoyts with a Ford.
• 24:46
  Oh amazing. Now this episode has the key.
• 24:51
  Right up to the camera and says my power shall be absolute.
• 24:56
  He's a true villain are. You going to say Dylan?
• 24:59
  We've lost another million viewers.
• 25:02
  It's because. It's enough of heart, though.
• 25:04
  It's not. It's not actually.
• 25:06
  Terry Nation must go. What's next week after this?
• 25:11
  Is it Aztecs? Yeah, yeah, boring historical
• 25:16
  John. I don't think the ratings go up
• 25:18
  for that, but then they do for the sensor rights for a bit.
• 25:21
  Sensor rights has been, hasn't it?
• 25:23
  No. Sensor rights is before rain,
• 25:24
  Sarah. You're right.
• 25:30
  Oh, I do like the fact that Ian Ian was clever enough to throw
• 25:34
  that fake key down and go of course, how did.
• 25:37
  You did you ever doubt? Him.
• 25:39
  No, he's. One No, you can't doubt him.
• 25:42
  Luke, I think honestly, if you was a character in Doctor Who,
• 25:45
  you would be my Ian. Oh, that's a really nice thing
• 25:50
  to say. You would absolutely throw the
• 25:52
  fake key down. Yeah, I would.
• 25:55
  And look. How Dylan is, He would be my
• 25:58
  Barbara. I was just about to say and then
• 26:01
  I'd go and shag bar, but the point still stands.
• 26:06
  And you, Joe, you be my pecs from from Paradise Towers.
• 26:11
  Dead by the end. A.
• 26:12
  Slightly chubbier version of him.
• 26:15
  Hamster lives. I've got 1000 fucking episodes
• 26:21
  still out there when I die, all right?
• 26:24
  Oh, look at that shadow of the board behind them.
• 26:26
  Come on now, Someone turned round.
• 26:29
  That's fine. Look how slow he's moving.
• 26:31
  I do love the helmets though. There's something about the
• 26:34
  helmets. I really.
• 26:35
  They look cool as. Fuck, they look like fucking
• 26:37
  torpedoes. Honestly if you would watch a
• 26:43
  season 2, it was today, it was episode if it if it was called
• 26:46
  Return of the Void, wouldn't you?
• 26:48
  Watch it, I'd fucking I'd name it was the best episode and
• 26:52
  masturbate live on. YouTube.
• 26:54
  If you had been right, Luke and the void had turned up instead
• 26:58
  of the vore in Spy Fall. Yeah, because it wouldn't make a
• 27:01
  blind bit of fucking difference to the story.
• 27:03
  Because I ain't important. But it would change that podcast
• 27:05
  we did. I'd be the biggest hoe on it, he
• 27:08
  steps. Out of the light and go through
• 27:11
  this eye y'all take couple of. Yes, yes, yes.
• 27:16
  We've just missed missed the big climax, haven't we?
• 27:20
  It was a quick climax, yeah. It blows up because he puts the
• 27:23
  false key in it and then but it's well seeded the false key.
• 27:27
  It is well seeded, yeah. Again, it's very childish, but
• 27:31
  the whole story is childish, isn't it?
• 27:33
  You know, I sort of pleasantly unpretentious sort of a way.
• 27:37
  I feel like at this point Hartnell's getting the we're
• 27:40
  running over 25 minutes nod because he speeds through this
• 27:43
  speech just to be for so quick. Goodbye my child.
• 27:47
  Will you watch how much kissing goes on here?
• 27:50
  So everyone's kissing everyone and then William Russell goes
• 27:53
  I'm not fucking kissing this bunch and start shaking hands of
• 27:55
  everyone. 1963 men don't kiss men.
• 27:59
  What you up to William tonight? But watch as Ian and Barbara
• 28:04
  Ian's behind her in the cart, not doing that.
• 28:08
  He's behind her, sticking his head out the door.
• 28:10
  I don't know, they just look lovely.
• 28:11
  I just, I love all of this stuff in the 60s, all the character
• 28:14
  stuff. You actually get time.
• 28:17
  It's peck's on the cheek though, isn't it?
• 28:19
  It's not like Heavy petty. Oh, no.
• 28:22
  Look, Ian hanging out the door there.
• 28:24
  It's lovely. Do you know what Ian keeps?
• 28:27
  One key. Which is perfect for a sequel.
• 28:31
  Oh. My God, no way.
• 28:32
  And the key is hidden in one of the 9 cakes of marinus and the
• 28:37
  cakes and the. Cakes have been made by the
• 28:40
  brain of morphoton that survived the attack.
• 28:42
  Oh my God, dude, it's so delicious that they take care of
• 28:47
  your mind because. He's about to to retrieve or
• 28:49
  save the day. The ice gods come in because
• 28:53
  they've been chasing them the whole time.
• 28:55
  Oh my God, now I'm hard. Now you know, you were saying
• 29:00
  Hartner was rushing through that speech.
• 29:02
  There's no like lead into the next episode here, which is the
• 29:05
  lot this is doing. I wonder if this script was over
• 29:08
  running anyway and then they were hurtling towards the the 24
• 29:10
  minute mark. That's yeah.
• 29:13
  I mean, it comes in at 25, isn't it?
• 29:15
  Which is hang on, which is one of the longer ones of the 60s
• 29:18
  ones I think. About as long as you can be.
• 29:20
  You could never. No Patrick chatting to be like
• 29:24
  we'll film all this on film next week.
• 29:26
  I'm going down to my. 9th family to dark tonight.
• 29:30
  And it does. It does end on an absolutely
• 29:32
  that gorgeous shot of Marinus with the.
• 29:34
  It's the same shot in reverse. Yeah, yeah.
• 29:36
  But exactly what it is. But it's it's great for that
• 29:39
  alone. I mean, I every time they're
• 29:41
  doing miniature work in the 60s, I just think it's cute as hell,
• 29:45
  you know, balls for trying. Well fellas, we need to find
• 29:50
  somehow 9 fabulous things about the Keys of Mariners.
• 29:53
  You're 29. Dildo heads one I'm.
• 29:56
  Afraid. Right, Luke?
• 29:57
  You first, then Dylan, then me. Let's go.
• 30:00
  It feels like a real adventure in only the way that Terry
• 30:04
  Nation can do so. He sets a very simple premises,
• 30:07
  and I don't mean that in a bad way, but exciting premises over
• 30:11
  six episodes, different locations, different monsters,
• 30:15
  all different tones and styles. Very fun, very childlike
• 30:19
  adventure. Dylan Raymond Cusick's design
• 30:24
  like he makes every single area of Mariners suitably different.
• 30:29
  I know some of that's in the script, but you could have had
• 30:31
  little run through so that you know everything sort of the
• 30:34
  similar design features, but he goes for it every time and makes
• 30:37
  it completely different I. Realise that I'm now currently
• 30:40
  older than William Russell was when he made this, but I'm still
• 30:44
  going to say he's the ultimate deal in Doctor Who and I just
• 30:48
  love watching William Russell on the screen.
• 30:50
  He's the ultimate hero of Doctor Who Ari in Chesterton and he's
• 30:53
  amazing in all six episodes. As someone that loves Doctor
• 30:59
  light episodes like Lover, Monsters and Turn left and all
• 31:03
  the others this this is a good sort of early early example
• 31:09
  where you you just don't question the doctors away.
• 31:12
  It works very successful and shows that the show can work if
• 31:17
  the companions are strong enough to lead it.
• 31:20
  I'm going to go for the huge, huge cast because there is so
• 31:24
  like there's there's not really a continuing run between besides
• 31:28
  Sabita and Altos, but it's got a massive cast and that everybody
• 31:32
  gives it their all and they're really fucking great.
• 31:35
  I want to We did mention it briefly earlier in the
• 31:38
  commentary, the music in this story, which I think is.
• 31:41
  Stuck in music? Like I said, it does feature an
• 31:45
  Unearthly Child as well, but it has a real eerie, unearthly,
• 31:49
  uneasy quality about it, like a lot of the music in the 60s.
• 31:53
  And frankly, you know, by the time we get to the 80s, it's,
• 31:55
  you know, Super Mario Brothers in every episode.
• 31:58
  But yeah, I just like the sense of unease in the music.
• 32:03
  OK, final one, I think I'm going to say that it's that it's one
• 32:08
  of a Marinus is a great world, but it's also one of the world's
• 32:11
  that's not really been tampered with.
• 32:13
  It's almost preserved. So it's like as we've sort of
• 32:16
  mentioned, it's not really been expanded on and expanded me.
• 32:19
  There's no big finishes returning to Marinus that like,
• 32:22
  I've not written my sequel yet, even.
• 32:25
  Like there's just so much of it that it's still just preserved
• 32:28
  and quite mysterious. We don't know about the Void,
• 32:31
  have made a bit of a point about that, whether there's someone
• 32:33
  underneath it or whether that's what they look like.
• 32:36
  The world and the monsters and the characters all feel, you
• 32:39
  know, untampered with, which is quite rare for Doctor Who and.
• 32:44
  We're still speculating about the Void.
• 32:46
  We're still hankering for a sequel.
• 32:49
  And it's, but it's quite nice. It's very nice, actually, that
• 32:52
  there's not one. This is the one trip to Marinus
• 32:55
  in a yeah, in a franchise that has got thousands of repeats to
• 32:59
  thousands of things, this is rare.
• 33:01
  And it's nice and it's fun. How have Big Finished not gone
• 33:05
  to Marinus? Crazy there's a Peloton boxer
• 33:08
  out there. Last thing, very simple, but I
• 33:13
  am a forward stand. Like, I think they look cool.
• 33:16
  I don't think they're quite as well developed as we'd like to
• 33:19
  think, but I just think the design's great.
• 33:20
  I think they look cool and I think they look menacing when
• 33:23
  you see them in stills largely. I did want my last thing to be
• 33:28
  the brains in jars, just because they are so wonderful and as we
• 33:32
  said earlier, we all have a brain in a jar.
• 33:35
  But my last thing is going to be to watch Who which is a podcast
• 33:39
  that my beautiful boyfriend and his best friend Sarah Chu do
• 33:42
  together. And I had pretty much written
• 33:45
  off the keys of Mariners until a Doctor Who fan and a non Doctor
• 33:49
  Who fan came together and discovered all of the gold with
• 33:53
  hidden keys of Mariners. So I had hitherto not unearthed
• 33:58
  and forced me to go back and give it another look.
• 34:01
  And now I fucking love it, you know?
• 34:03
  And after doing this for you guys, I love it even more.
• 34:06
  And it's Sarah's reaction to it, isn't it?
• 34:08
  And the fact that it becomes the milestone.
• 34:10
  They measure everything. It's it's the genesis of the
• 34:15
  Darwins. Yeah.
• 34:16
  Every era, right? There's one dog that she just
• 34:20
  loves, isn't there? She loves the underwater menace.
• 34:23
  She loved the Thai monsters. She loved the invisible enemy.
• 34:26
  It's all sort of great taste. She's.
• 34:30
  Crazy. Well fellas, I've been hankering
• 34:33
  to ask you this question ever since we started this
• 34:35
  commentary. And where are you itching to go?
• 34:40
  Next, what have we picked something to do together the
• 34:43
  three of. Us, it's got to be improvised on
• 34:45
  the hoof. I would like to do another
• 34:47
  classic series 1. How do you feel about that?
• 34:49
  OK, happy to. I'd quite like to do a Tom
• 34:51
  Baker. Me too.
• 34:53
  What about the catered time? A story from the catered time.
• 34:58
  What What of those haven't you done recently?
• 35:00
  One of six. I mean, I haven't done the
• 35:03
  pirate. I don't know.
• 35:04
  I have done the pirate planet. Hang on.
• 35:05
  So what? I haven't done that yet.
• 35:07
  No, I've done them all. Just choose one.
• 35:09
  What? What would you love to do?
• 35:11
  I would love to do any of them. Android Zatara.
• 35:15
  I've done the most recent. I feel like you did Armageddon
• 35:19
  Factor quite recently. No, that was very early
• 35:21
  recording. I thought my brain's just
• 35:24
  screaming crawl. Crawl, crawl, crawl, crawl,
• 35:28
  crawl. We'll tie you up to a fence and
• 35:31
  you can go. Well fellas, until we face an
• 35:39
  enormous, bulbous monster coming towards us out of its own farts.
• 35:46
  Until next time.