Latest / The Breakfast Club / Cyntoia Brown encounter with God after surviving sex trafficking +an open group convo about faith!

Transcript

Cyntoia Brown encounter with God after surviving sex trafficking +an open group convo about faith! · The Breakfast Club

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Speaker 1: The tourist.
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Speaker 2: I'm a homegrowl that knows a little bit about everything
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Speaker 2: and everybody.
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Speaker 3: You don't know if you don't lie about that.
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Speaker 2: Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Lauren Rosa and this
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Speaker 2: is the latest with Lauren de Rosa. This is your
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Speaker 2: DELI dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and
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Speaker 2: all of the conversations that.
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Speaker 3: Shake the room.
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Speaker 1: Baby.
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Speaker 2: Now, I have been on an HBCU tour. You guys know,
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Speaker 2: I've been all over but we ended the tour literally
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Speaker 2: this week in real time. I'm recording this. We ended
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Speaker 2: it yesterday as Delaware State University defeated Norfolk State University
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Speaker 2: at Lincoln Financial Field, which is the stadium where the
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Speaker 2: Eagles play. DeShawn Jackson for Delaware State University versus Mike
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Speaker 2: Vick for Norfolk State University was a huge game. Over
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Speaker 2: forty seven thousand people. Over forty seven thousand people purchase tickets, y'all.
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Speaker 2: I was told by the end of the night by
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Speaker 2: the president of Delaware State University, doctor Tony Allen, that
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Speaker 2: they were looking at making a profit which they would
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Speaker 2: then use to put back into the school and look
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Speaker 2: out for Norfolk a bit because it's a home game
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Speaker 2: for Dell State. They were looking at a profit of
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Speaker 2: over a million dollars. Let me tell y'all something, Okay.
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Speaker 2: When I was at Delaware State University, I was literally
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Speaker 2: told going to this school is going to make it
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Speaker 2: so hard for people to ever know who you are,
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Speaker 2: what you want to do, and for you to work
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Speaker 2: in the industry you want to work in. It takes
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Speaker 2: one small person, one small dream, and a whole lot
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Speaker 2: of faith and a whole lot of God to be
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Speaker 2: able to break barriers where people are like, wow, what
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Speaker 2: hold on? What is that transformation? What's happening? And that
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Speaker 2: has been the story of Delaware State University. You know
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Speaker 2: now Norfolk State University, Jackson State and what Deon Sanders
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Speaker 2: did there because somebody had a vision, a dream, but
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Speaker 2: also somebody was really tapped into their spirituality and their faith.
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Speaker 2: And God said to the listen, I need y'all to
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Speaker 2: go over here, climb this mountain, and then you'll be
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Speaker 2: able to make away for other people. So as I'm
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Speaker 2: recovering from all of the events that we hosted at
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Speaker 2: Norfolk State University and you know, ending our HBCU Alumni
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Speaker 2: tour that we do for Bronco grinding and myself, Laura
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Speaker 2: le Rosa, as you know, I recover from all of that.
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Speaker 2: I wanted to share a conversation that is very much
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Speaker 2: in the vein of that, the faith of a mustard seed.
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Speaker 2: And but God, so let's get on into a convo
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Speaker 2: I sat down in conversation with Cintoya Brown Long, and
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Speaker 2: a lot of you guys may have heard her story.
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Speaker 2: Cintoya Brown Long is an American author, a speaker, and
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Speaker 2: a criminal justice reform advocate. She was a victim of
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Speaker 2: sex trafficking as a minor, and she served fifteen years
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Speaker 2: in prison for murder after she shot and killed a
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Speaker 2: man who solicited her four sex and originally her sentence
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Speaker 2: was fifty one years behind bars. But God, we also
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Speaker 2: were joining in this conversation by my readors. Who's a pastor,
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Speaker 2: a faith leader in a woman who has lived lives? Okay,
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Speaker 2: I mean she has done makeup for some of the
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Speaker 2: biggest celebrities and models in the entertainment business. But all
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Speaker 2: of that comes with some things for some people. And
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Speaker 2: by some things I mean addiction. I mean, you know,
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Speaker 2: losing it all and having to gain it all back
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Speaker 2: through faith and realizing God. Now as a former lead
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Speaker 2: pastor of Christ Tabernacle, a huge congregation which was also
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Speaker 2: the first church to be born out of the Brooklyn Tabernacle,
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Speaker 2: Maria takes, you know, all these lived experiences as that
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Speaker 2: top celebrity makeup artist.
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Speaker 3: At one point, a woman who.
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Speaker 2: Went through years of really intense drug use, I mean
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Speaker 2: like almost didn't make it to see today, a type
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Speaker 2: of drug use. But you know, she has come about
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Speaker 2: of that and now she is using her faith to
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Speaker 2: transform and to have conversations, transformative conversations with others. And lastly,
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Speaker 2: but totally not least in this conversation, you guys will
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Speaker 2: hear from Randall Long Randa is the creative mind behind
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Speaker 2: the cool world mascot Cooley with numerous children's clinic.
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Speaker 3: Now, Cooley is more than just a character.
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Speaker 2: Randall likes to say that Koy is a figure that
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Speaker 2: represents unity, diversity, and acceptance, all these things which are
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Speaker 2: you know, really close to his heart. But all this
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Speaker 2: creativity is utilized the best of what Randal does as
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Speaker 2: he is ministering and honestly developing children. And when I
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Speaker 2: say developing, I mean like really pouring into them. And
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Speaker 2: you know, tapping into their creative and you know, just
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Speaker 2: using his story to inspire others. That's the common thread here.
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Speaker 2: It's inspiration faith of a muster seed. Let's get on
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Speaker 2: into the conversation. I think you guys are enjoying this one.
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Speaker 4: When you look back over your story, what seems out
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Speaker 4: as your turning point, you know, at the moment when
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Speaker 4: Payne begins to give purpose.
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Speaker 1: Go ahead, lady first.
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Speaker 3: I think a.
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Speaker 5: Turning point for me when I saw that there was
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Speaker 5: purpose in my pain was when my now husband had
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Speaker 5: challenged me.
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Speaker 3: I was speaking about my situation for.
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Speaker 5: Those of those of y'all or I didn't hear that introduction,
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Speaker 5: but I spent fifteen years incarcerated.
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Speaker 3: I was sentenced to life.
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Speaker 5: In prison, was supposed to be sixty seven years old.
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Speaker 5: Before I got out. All my bills had been denied.
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Speaker 5: I had none left. And I received the letter in
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Speaker 5: the mail from my now husband, and that started us
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Speaker 5: going back and forth, having conversations. And when I told
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Speaker 5: him how I was pretty much frustrated with God, but
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Speaker 5: I didn't believe he was real.
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Speaker 3: He challenged me and he said, he told you he
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Speaker 3: was finished.
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Speaker 5: And I had kind of written my own end I
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Speaker 5: thought that was it, like there was nothing but ashes, right,
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Speaker 5: But it helped me to see that, you know, God
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Speaker 5: is really doing something with this. Let me sit back
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Speaker 5: and let him finish. And so I think that was
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Speaker 5: a turning point for me. And then the way at
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Speaker 5: it and unfolded. I saw that if I hadn't gone
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Speaker 5: through all that I had gone through, I wouldn't be
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Speaker 5: able to do the things that I am now testifying
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Speaker 5: about how good he was said about how there is
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Speaker 5: awake out.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, closure for you guys, you know talking about you
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Speaker 2: know what some of your guys have been like, Yo,
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Speaker 2: what you've been through?
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Speaker 3: Did you guys recognize God when he met you with
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Speaker 3: your moss?
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Speaker 1: Did you know it was him?
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Speaker 3: Or what would you feel in our experience and you
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Speaker 3: had not it happened.
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Speaker 5: So for me, I don't feel that I really recognized
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Speaker 5: it was him, and that was because it was I
6:33
Speaker 5: was in such a funk from everything that I went through,
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Speaker 5: like so much anger had consumed me that I had
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Speaker 5: convinced myself that he wasn't real.
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Speaker 3: And so while I knew there was something that.
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Speaker 5: Would keep me holding on and pushing forward, I knew
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Speaker 5: there was something that would tell me, You're not going
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Speaker 5: to spend the rest of your life in prison. I
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Speaker 5: called it everything but him. I said, it was the universe.
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Speaker 5: But the universe was looking out for me, and you
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Speaker 5: know all these things that you hear, But it was
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Speaker 5: him all along. And it wasn't until I saw in
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Speaker 5: his hints I started acknowledging that it was him that
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Speaker 5: I learned to call a m of Jesus. And I said,
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Speaker 5: you know, it was him all along, And I started
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Speaker 5: saying the way he showed up. But yeah, I was
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Speaker 5: so angry that I didn't I wouldn't even acknowledge that
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Speaker 5: it was him.
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Speaker 3: Well I had. I had a definite encounter with God.
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Speaker 6: I was crazy out of my mind to drugs from
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Speaker 6: the age of ten to twenty five.
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Speaker 3: I've overdosed on harrowin three times.
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Speaker 6: I've been arrested, try to commit suicide.
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Speaker 3: Find the man of my dreams.
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Speaker 6: Go on this vacation to Mexico, worked and burked off.
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Speaker 1: Goodman.
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Speaker 6: If famous people's makeup, and I have everything the world
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Speaker 6: says I need in order to be happy. I had
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Speaker 6: design a luggage. I had more change through the snoop
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Speaker 6: Dog got out.
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Speaker 3: I did. I did.
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Speaker 6: If it was on the cover Cosmopolitan or Vogue.
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Speaker 3: I had it. But we get to my new boyfriend, we.
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Speaker 6: Get to this vacation spot in Mexico. He smuggled in,
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Speaker 6: I smumbled in, I'm sorry, three thousand dollars worth of cocaine.
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Speaker 6: I see how God has protected.
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Speaker 3: Me so many times. And on this ten.
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Speaker 6: Day vacation, as the days are going on, I'm emptier
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Speaker 6: and emptier and emptier.
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Speaker 3: I never heard her being born again.
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Speaker 6: Imagine that I knew where to I knew where to
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Speaker 6: get the latest haircut. I never waited online to get
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Speaker 6: into a club.
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Speaker 3: I knew every DJ, but I did not know we
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Speaker 3: could be born again, have a new life.
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Speaker 6: And as the days going on, I have everything the
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Speaker 6: world says I have in order to be happy.
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Speaker 3: I'm successful.
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Speaker 6: This guy loves me, he's good looking, but I'm empty.
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Speaker 6: And you know, we all have that emptiness inside of us,
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Speaker 6: and the only one that could feel it is God.
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Speaker 3: He's the only one.
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Speaker 6: And all of a sudden, as the fifth day to
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Speaker 6: this ten day vacation, I felt like some he was
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Speaker 6: screaming inside of me, help me, help me, And I
9:05
Speaker 6: didn't know who to tell because I didn't know what
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Speaker 6: it was So my boyfriend went out for a walk
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Speaker 6: on the beach one night and I stayed in the
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Speaker 6: room and I decided to talk to God. But I
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Speaker 6: didn't talk to him the way we talked to him.
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Speaker 6: I shook my fist and I called him every name
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Speaker 6: in the book, and I said, what kind of God
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Speaker 6: are you? What kind of got are you? What is
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Speaker 6: this thing called life? I feel like a dog chasing
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Speaker 6: her tail. And in this room, this holy God that
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Speaker 6: should have struck me dead, with my filthy mouth, with
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Speaker 6: my immorality, with it all, he said my name, and
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Speaker 6: it was not audible, it was internal.
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Speaker 1: You have to know my name.
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Speaker 6: When I was born, my mother died. I have no
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Speaker 6: name on my birth certificate.
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Speaker 3: He knew my name. He knows your name.
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Speaker 6: And he said the name Maria, and he said, give
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Speaker 6: me your life before it's too late.
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Speaker 3: And I knew that.
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Speaker 1: I knew it was God. I did it.
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Speaker 6: You know his name was Jesus. I didn't know anything,
10:03
Speaker 6: but I knew that I knew. My boyfriend came back
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Speaker 6: from this walk on the beach fifteen minutes and I said, Michael,
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Speaker 6: when we go back home, when you go to church
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Speaker 6: with me? He said church? He said, you need a
10:14
Speaker 6: smoke a joiner. And then when I was leaving this
10:21
Speaker 6: vacation spot, they offered me a job.
10:24
Speaker 3: They said, we know you're.
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Speaker 6: Not married, and why don't you stay here and be
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Speaker 6: a host. And I turned to my boyfriend and I said,
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Speaker 6: that's the zebral.
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Speaker 3: He doesn't want me to go home and go to church.
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Speaker 1: Now.
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Speaker 3: My boyfriend's like, first you hear God, and now you know.
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Speaker 1: Who you're joy is. He said.
10:38
Speaker 3: We had definitely cramping home up. When we get back
10:41
Speaker 3: to this apartment.
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Speaker 6: We had just in the din together and I had
10:45
Speaker 6: a telephone and I called a friend of mine and
10:48
Speaker 6: I said, I got to talk to you. I did
10:50
Speaker 6: not know any Christians. I didn't even know there was
10:52
Speaker 6: such a thing as a Christian. And I said I
10:55
Speaker 6: got to talk to you. And she said hurry up.
10:58
Speaker 6: And I said, Barbara, I need God my life. And
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Speaker 6: Barbara said, praise the Lord.
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Speaker 3: I said, praise the who. She said, well you were gone.
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Speaker 3: Some hippie preached the gospel to her. I'm thirty of
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Speaker 3: our friends.
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Speaker 1: She said.
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Speaker 6: We held hands and we said Lord save Michael and
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Speaker 6: Maria in Mexico. And that was the night that voice
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Speaker 6: spoke to me. In that hotel, some to church and
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Speaker 6: we gave our lives to Christ.
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Speaker 3: And that was fifty years ago in September.
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Speaker 2: So for all of you guys, how did you deal
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Speaker 2: with I mean, if there was Shane, right, how did
11:48
Speaker 2: you deal with?
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Speaker 6: Now?
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Speaker 4: I'm going to take everything I've been through in my
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Speaker 4: story to help other people into doing that.
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Speaker 3: You got to be very honest about.
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Speaker 2: What you've been through and how do you fell and
11:57
Speaker 2: all these things, and not everybody receives it.
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Speaker 3: The best all the time. How do you guys deal
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Speaker 3: with that?
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Speaker 4: Even today when you're going around and sharing your.
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Speaker 2: Story and you know, ministering to people, dealing with people
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Speaker 2: that might not you know, receive it the best of me,
12:11
Speaker 2: but also dealing with any.
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Speaker 3: Internal shame or guilts that you may experience. So for me.
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Speaker 5: Coming through the way that I came through, the way
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Speaker 5: that the Lord brought me through, it's just it's so
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Speaker 5: amazing what he did with me. I can't help but
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Speaker 5: tell someone. I can't help but tell other young girls
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Speaker 5: in my situation that there is a different way of life,
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Speaker 5: that there's a way of life out for you somebody
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Speaker 5: who's in that situation right now. I'm so excited to
12:38
Speaker 5: let them know that life the Lord, he's got a
12:40
Speaker 5: plan for you. He can bring you out of this.
12:42
Speaker 5: Like you said, you just keep walking. And so shame
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Speaker 5: is never even a thought. And I know where shame
12:47
Speaker 5: comes from, and it's not from my Lord. So it
12:49
Speaker 5: has nothing to do with me, has no part of
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Speaker 5: my identity, has no room in my life.
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Speaker 3: So it's not even an issue. It's not even a thought.
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Speaker 6: You know.
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Speaker 3: And when you when you.
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Speaker 5: When you get brought through something, when you have that testimony,
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Speaker 5: it doesn't become hard.
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Speaker 3: I know a lot of people like to.
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Speaker 5: Ask you whenever I share my story, isn't it hard
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Speaker 5: for you to relive no money?
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Speaker 3: I know how it ends. Yeah, so sad and so
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Speaker 3: there's only glory to him.
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Speaker 5: And so I tell anybody who listening, if you don't
13:23
Speaker 5: want to listen, I'll tell you anyway.
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Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
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Speaker 4: So a question for you, So you're really passionate about
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Speaker 4: investing in the next generation, especially children of color, Why
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Speaker 4: is that mission so personal for you?
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Speaker 1: Why is it so personal for me? One I like
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Speaker 1: to empower all.
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Speaker 7: Two the reason why I love the empower kids of color,
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Speaker 7: people of color, is because I.
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Speaker 1: Know I grew up in the nineties and eighties.
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Speaker 7: Baby, I mean that look like it, but I know
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Speaker 7: that by seeing certain communities, I see there's a lack
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Speaker 7: of male presence. And the reason why I go so
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Speaker 7: hard in what I do and showing empowerment through creativity
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Speaker 7: and different forms of empowerment. These kids are so used
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Speaker 7: to seeing people come in and out of their lives.
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Speaker 7: And I noticed by doing certain backtive schools and speaking
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Speaker 7: at certain schools, that some individuals come into schools and yes, they'll.
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Speaker 1: Do their projects and then they'll move on to things.
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Speaker 7: That's not to say that certain schools can.
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Speaker 1: Go a different route, but the thing is that there's
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Speaker 1: no consistency in these kids' lives.
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Speaker 7: And one of the ethnic groups that lack it is
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Speaker 7: people of color. They see people come in and out
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Speaker 7: of their lives. I see at different community events where
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Speaker 7: there's less men or champion. Kudos to our mothers and
14:55
Speaker 7: our grandmothers and things of that nature, but we need
14:57
Speaker 7: more men that's going to stand up and I actually
15:01
Speaker 7: show up to events, put on events that actually empower
15:05
Speaker 7: you and not.
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Speaker 1: Be laxadaticle about it.
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Speaker 7: Because the majority of our kids, when they see us
15:09
Speaker 7: put effort into things, they show up as their best.
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Speaker 1: So the reason why.
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Speaker 7: I love empowering people of color is that I like
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Speaker 7: to show them that it is possible. I was born
15:21
Speaker 7: after my left ear, I was placed in special education.
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Speaker 1: There were so.
15:26
Speaker 7: Many labels where it kept me in a mental prison
15:30
Speaker 7: of walking through life because every great opportunity that I
15:33
Speaker 7: did have, I wasn't capable of walking into it because
15:37
Speaker 7: I was in a mental prison, basically allowing my past
15:41
Speaker 7: to take every step by talk so by numbing the pain,
15:45
Speaker 7: new alcohol or drugs, party and sex, foreign things of
15:49
Speaker 7: that nature. Our communities, our kids, they need to see
15:55
Speaker 7: men of color, men in general show up. That's what
15:59
Speaker 7: we need.
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Speaker 5: Thank you for that.
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Speaker 3: You can do the work that you're got too. So
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Speaker 3: I said, thank you for the work that you do too.
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Speaker 4: I'm sitting here and just I don't have kids, but
16:09
Speaker 4: I have a niece, and my niece is ten, and.
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Speaker 3: As I'm watching her grow up, one.
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Speaker 4: Of the hardest things for me is that I can't
16:16
Speaker 4: protect her from like the world of things right, and
16:19
Speaker 4: it always makes me think, like when I was younger
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Speaker 4: and my mom was trying to teach me things, why
16:24
Speaker 4: she tried to insteal certain things because your kids go
16:26
Speaker 4: out to the world and you just got to rely
16:27
Speaker 4: on what you've taught them. And there were people in
16:30
Speaker 4: my life that I came across, Like I know, it's hey,
16:32
Speaker 4: you spoke earlier, but like there were people in my
16:33
Speaker 4: life that I came across, people like you, that helped to, like,
16:37
Speaker 4: you know, reinforce things as it was happening. And you
16:40
Speaker 4: guys are so important because sometimes we don't be heard
16:42
Speaker 4: in our house, but then we go into the world
16:44
Speaker 4: and we forget it or you know, So just appreciate
16:46
Speaker 4: what you're doing.
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Speaker 3: I'm really sitting here.
16:48
Speaker 4: Thinking like, wow, what you're doing is really gonna you
16:51
Speaker 4: know what I mean, Like it's really going to help
16:53
Speaker 4: and change people's lives because it did it for me.
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Speaker 3: So appreciate you. But thanks for being here to really
16:59
Speaker 3: no one question for you, Saintboya.
17:02
Speaker 4: Now that you're advocating for victims of trafficking and criminal
17:05
Speaker 4: justice reform, what drives you to keep sharing your story?
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Speaker 2: And you talked about this, you know you don't the
17:12
Speaker 2: memories that you have aren't painful for you because you
17:15
Speaker 2: know how it ends.
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Speaker 3: But what drives you to keep telling your story.
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Speaker 4: In ways in ways that reach people where they feel
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Speaker 4: like they want to come and think about what the
17:27
Speaker 4: end of their story will be and not where they
17:29
Speaker 4: are right now. Like, how are you pushing these women
17:32
Speaker 4: or even men to be able to see or know
17:34
Speaker 4: they're in so that they're not afraid to come and
17:36
Speaker 4: share things with you?
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Speaker 3: So how I do it?
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Speaker 1: Yes?
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Speaker 5: I just show up as me authentically, and you know,
17:44
Speaker 5: there's nothing that's talk to the table. We have conversations, to
17:47
Speaker 5: be honest with you. When I go into facilities, I
17:49
Speaker 5: go where they are. A lot of the girls that
17:52
Speaker 5: I serve, they're currently incarcerated in facilities. I go into
17:55
Speaker 5: the facilities and sometimes we just sit and we just
17:57
Speaker 5: have crafts.
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Speaker 3: We just do crafts are two crafts.
18:00
Speaker 5: A lot of conversations are had over glittered and they
18:02
Speaker 5: just open up. Some of the toughest you know, kids
18:05
Speaker 5: that are freaking have it throughout the week of the facilities,
18:07
Speaker 5: they just melt when it comes to needed bracelets. I
18:10
Speaker 5: don't know what the science is, but that's my thing,
18:13
Speaker 5: and we just we just talk. We just have honest conversations, and.
18:18
Speaker 3: I feel like that's really important. Another thing that's important.
18:21
Speaker 5: Is that I show up consistently because they desire that
18:24
Speaker 5: consistent there's this consistency again, consistent healthy relationship, and so
18:29
Speaker 5: a lot of these young girls, they're struggling with the
18:31
Speaker 5: same thing many of us have encountered, and that's this
18:34
Speaker 5: attack on identity, Like the enemy has this huge assignment
18:37
Speaker 5: attackness and our identity, and that's something that I face.
18:41
Speaker 5: But meeting them where they are meeting them from who
18:43
Speaker 5: they are, letting them just as they are, that's really
18:47
Speaker 5: I guess if I had a strategy, that's what my
18:49
Speaker 5: strategy is. But it's really important for me to also
18:52
Speaker 5: do the other side of my work, going out and
18:54
Speaker 5: speaking about my experience because I remember when I was
18:58
Speaker 5: young and I didn't identify as a quote unquote trafficking victim,
19:03
Speaker 5: because the whole discourse on human trafficking was you get
19:06
Speaker 5: snatched off the street and thrown into a white van
19:09
Speaker 5: and held in abasement somewhere. For girls like me who
19:13
Speaker 5: were living on the streets as runaways and did things
19:17
Speaker 5: that we were taught you needed to do in order
19:20
Speaker 5: to survive, we were considered fast or promiscuous.
19:24
Speaker 3: We were considered doing things that were an act of
19:26
Speaker 3: volition instead.
19:28
Speaker 5: Of being violated as children by adults, And so having
19:32
Speaker 5: that conversation is really important because there are other young
19:35
Speaker 5: people who may be going through that, maybe experiencing that
19:37
Speaker 5: they don't understand. There's a name for that. They don't understand,
19:40
Speaker 5: like that's not on you, and there's a way out
19:42
Speaker 5: of that.
19:42
Speaker 3: I didn't even understand that what I was doing was
19:46
Speaker 3: not healthy.
19:46
Speaker 5: I didn't understand that it was wrong, Like my entire
19:49
Speaker 5: perception of relationship was skewed.
19:51
Speaker 3: My entire perception of what it meaned to be with
19:53
Speaker 3: someone else was skewed.
19:55
Speaker 5: And so that's why it's really important for me, because
19:58
Speaker 5: they need to understand that there is a way, that
20:00
Speaker 5: there's a different life, that there's fulfillment waiting for you,
20:03
Speaker 5: there's happiness waiting for you, and this is not the
20:05
Speaker 5: end of it.
20:15
Speaker 3: You know what that you guys do.
20:19
Speaker 4: Have you guys ever felt like what if I can't
20:22
Speaker 4: say this person, I'm telling my story, I'm doing all
20:25
Speaker 4: this word, but what if I can't save this person?
20:29
Speaker 4: And is there a way to that feeling that you
20:31
Speaker 4: guys have experienced at all?
20:35
Speaker 3: We don't say anyway. The Holy Spirit changed them and
20:40
Speaker 3: God wills that not one would be lost. He didn't
20:43
Speaker 3: come to judge, He came to save. He didn't come
20:46
Speaker 3: for the well.
20:47
Speaker 1: He came for the sick.
20:49
Speaker 6: And our job is to tell to speak with compassion
20:55
Speaker 6: and grace and and to pray and to pray for them,
21:01
Speaker 6: you know, when we're not with them, to pray for them.
21:04
Speaker 6: Because you know, some plants, some water, God gives the increase.
21:07
Speaker 3: I cannot believe that a seed that.
21:10
Speaker 6: Goes into the ground will not grow if it's a
21:13
Speaker 6: good seed. I definitely believe that we got married on
21:18
Speaker 6: a rainy Monday in city Hall when we got saved.
21:21
Speaker 6: And forty years after we got saved, we got married
21:23
Speaker 6: in our church, our three sons of pastors, with our
21:26
Speaker 6: eight grandkids.
21:26
Speaker 3: We finally did it right. Listen.
21:31
Speaker 6: I love this because we're photoshops here, and you know what,
21:36
Speaker 6: that's how Jesus sees us.
21:38
Speaker 3: We are photoshoped.
21:39
Speaker 6: He sees us without spot and wrinkle. We think he's
21:42
Speaker 6: examining every piece of dandr, of every little skin, you know,
21:46
Speaker 6: every little pimple.
21:48
Speaker 3: He does.
21:48
Speaker 6: And he sees us through the eyes of the blood
21:51
Speaker 6: of his son.
21:52
Speaker 3: This is how we look to him, and he loves us.
21:57
Speaker 7: It is interestesting to see those photos because it makes
22:00
Speaker 7: me think about the times where I'm just trying to
22:03
Speaker 7: mass so much, because I couldn't stop my mind from
22:06
Speaker 7: thinking so much. So I always thought that alcohol, even
22:11
Speaker 7: though I don't need alcohol when I step into a room,
22:14
Speaker 7: I'm confident when I step into a room, but in
22:16
Speaker 7: order to shut my mind off at times, it was
22:20
Speaker 7: alcohol did that.
22:21
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I allowed it to get
22:24
Speaker 1: to a certain place because it.
22:25
Speaker 7: Started small, and you know when small things turn into
22:28
Speaker 7: big things. It started to on the weekends in college,
22:31
Speaker 7: and then from college it took on the weekdays after
22:34
Speaker 7: work on your finance Saturday and Sunday, and then it
22:36
Speaker 7: turns to Tuesdays carry over night. Then Thursdays is ladies only.
22:40
Speaker 1: But guys, this.
22:41
Speaker 7: It's like a snowball effect to where it gradually creeps
22:46
Speaker 7: up on you.
22:47
Speaker 1: But the thing is is that my mom always says that.
22:54
Speaker 7: By are our choices and our decisions, some things don't
22:56
Speaker 7: have to happen to us. But by our decisions we
23:01
Speaker 7: get in our own way in those things we make
23:05
Speaker 7: the wrong decision to put ourselves in the wrong places
23:07
Speaker 7: at the wrong times, and things.
23:08
Speaker 1: Of that nature.
23:09
Speaker 7: So I'll say all that to say that just seeing
23:13
Speaker 7: those pictures is just made me start thinking for.
23:16
Speaker 4: Her some things since to me, I don't know if
23:18
Speaker 4: you had something you wanted to say a lot like
23:20
Speaker 4: before we brought into picture it's plafestyle and the break
23:22
Speaker 4: healty was.
23:23
Speaker 3: She basically said what I said.
23:25
Speaker 5: You know, we can't save anybody, and especially like in
23:28
Speaker 5: the line work that I'm in with the organization that
23:31
Speaker 5: I work with. By the time a girl has made
23:35
Speaker 5: it to me like she's already been given up on
23:37
Speaker 5: the system, has written her off.
23:39
Speaker 3: Parents, teachers, they've all written her off like I served
23:43
Speaker 3: what they titled the hardest to serve youth.
23:48
Speaker 5: And so there are some that you know, all I
23:50
Speaker 5: can do is show up, can be consistent, and I
23:52
Speaker 5: can plant good seeds.
23:53
Speaker 3: That's what's important.
23:54
Speaker 5: We plant good seed, not just planning to see planting
23:56
Speaker 5: good seed, and you just trust that.
23:58
Speaker 3: The Lord is going to take over the rest. But
24:00
Speaker 3: sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
24:03
Speaker 5: Every story is not a happy end thing. I've just
24:05
Speaker 5: lost the girl not too long ago, and it happens,
24:09
Speaker 5: and it's a part of the work. But you still
24:11
Speaker 5: show up and you still keep playing those seeds. You
24:15
Speaker 5: don't worry about the end results Like the end, that's
24:17
Speaker 5: none of your business.
24:18
Speaker 1: But the Lord does there.
24:19
Speaker 5: You just do what he calls you to do in
24:21
Speaker 5: that moment that show up. Make the system thank you.
24:27
Speaker 6: So.
24:28
Speaker 2: In closing, I want you guys to be able to,
24:30
Speaker 2: you know, give closing remarks whatever you like to say.
24:33
Speaker 2: But there is a closing question. Someone read a scripture
24:36
Speaker 2: and then I just want you guys to also mention
24:38
Speaker 2: you know what this verse needs to you.
24:40
Speaker 1: The scripture says the Lord will.
24:41
Speaker 4: Bestow on them accrown of beauty instead of ashes, the
24:44
Speaker 4: oil of joy instead of warning, and a garment of
24:47
Speaker 4: praise instead of a spirit of despair.
24:50
Speaker 6: What does that mean to you guys, Well, it means
24:56
Speaker 6: that God makes to snoop, I want to speak to
25:01
Speaker 6: the believer for a moment, because a lot of times
25:04
Speaker 6: we're going to carry our ashes and we put them
25:09
Speaker 6: on the next day's sacrifice or on the next day's
25:12
Speaker 6: altar of worship, and you can't have fresh fire with ashes.
25:18
Speaker 6: And in the Old Testament, the scriptures tell us that
25:23
Speaker 6: God designated a specific place for the ashes.
25:27
Speaker 3: It was called an ash eep.
25:30
Speaker 6: The priest would actually burn a sacrifice.
25:34
Speaker 3: What he was saying he was.
25:35
Speaker 6: He cut off the animal's head. It was the eyes.
25:37
Speaker 6: The ears gave it to God. The legs gave his
25:40
Speaker 6: steps to God. The inner parts washed put on that altar,
25:47
Speaker 6: and the fact the success is put on the altar
25:50
Speaker 6: burned up. Then there were ashes that priest literally had
25:54
Speaker 6: to change his garment, take all the ashes. That was
25:57
Speaker 6: his pain, his problems, his provision, all of it, and
26:02
Speaker 6: he would put it on an ash heap, and he
26:04
Speaker 6: had to remove it far from the area of worship.
26:09
Speaker 6: And those ashes, to God, they were sacred.
26:13
Speaker 3: God knew it.
26:14
Speaker 6: Every ashmanh He knew every tear that that ash meant.
26:18
Speaker 6: He knew every problem that priests was going through, everything,
26:23
Speaker 6: the provision that he was grateful for. Every ash meant something.
26:27
Speaker 3: But the next day there comes Sunday, we're gonna worship.
26:30
Speaker 3: We're not gonna have.
26:31
Speaker 6: Yesterday's ashes on today's sacrifice, because that would be like
26:35
Speaker 6: trying to cook like this delicious steak in an old
26:39
Speaker 6: soooded pan that you made something, you're going to ruin it.
26:44
Speaker 6: So we got to get those ashes out.
26:46
Speaker 3: If we dived it to.
26:47
Speaker 6: God, we have to believe he took it, and He's
26:50
Speaker 6: gonna make a way for us, and he understands and
26:53
Speaker 6: he's a man that sympathizes with our weaknesses.
26:58
Speaker 3: But we got to go the next day and faith
27:00
Speaker 3: and just.
27:01
Speaker 6: Once again worship the Lord, because you know what, God,
27:05
Speaker 6: without faith, it is impossible to please God. God smells faith,
27:09
Speaker 6: He smells faith. He says, Well, they believe I'm going
27:12
Speaker 6: to take care of it. Well, they believe that I
27:14
Speaker 6: understand their situation. Today they're coming in and they're just
27:18
Speaker 6: worshiping me because every day, you know, you and I
27:21
Speaker 6: we have ashes and we how to remove those ashes
27:24
Speaker 6: so we can have fresh sirt fun.
27:30
Speaker 5: So this, this actually just came to me because whenever
27:33
Speaker 5: you said that about the ashes, I was.
27:34
Speaker 3: Like, you know you can actually you actually make soap
27:36
Speaker 3: from ashes.
27:37
Speaker 5: Ashes used to make love, which is used to make
27:39
Speaker 5: soap soap because it used to make cleanly.
27:42
Speaker 3: And stat things God.
27:46
Speaker 5: But for me that verse in my life, when I
27:49
Speaker 5: think of, you know, the ashes, I think of how
27:51
Speaker 5: I had given up that.
27:52
Speaker 3: When I think a lot of times we allow.
27:55
Speaker 5: Our circumstances, the things that we go through to kind
27:57
Speaker 5: of put a period on things. We think it's all
27:59
Speaker 5: over with for us, right, we live in that state
28:02
Speaker 5: of despair.
28:03
Speaker 3: The rest of the scripture, you know, it talks about,
28:05
Speaker 3: you know.
28:06
Speaker 5: Freedom to the captives, to freedom from darkness for the prisoners,
28:10
Speaker 5: and we can put ourselves in that own prison, the
28:12
Speaker 5: prisons of shame, prisons of anger, prisons of.
28:15
Speaker 3: Hate even and I was in that place.
28:17
Speaker 5: I was so I can't even begin to express to
28:20
Speaker 5: you how angry I was at God that he didn't
28:22
Speaker 5: move the way I wanted him to move when I
28:24
Speaker 5: wanted him to move that way, and I thought that
28:26
Speaker 5: that was just it. I was so angry that other
28:28
Speaker 5: people's faith enraged me. It enraged me to the point
28:32
Speaker 5: where I would sit there and have entire debates with
28:34
Speaker 5: people about the existence of God because I.
28:36
Speaker 3: Didn't want them to believe because I didn't believe either.
28:39
Speaker 5: And that's where I was whenever my husband came to
28:44
Speaker 5: me and said, wait a minute, because he's not finished yet.
28:47
Speaker 3: He's not done, and.
28:52
Speaker 5: He took from that place where I had decided everything
28:55
Speaker 5: was just passions.
28:56
Speaker 3: It was done, it was destroyed, and now there's.
28:59
Speaker 5: Beauty in it because now through my freedom from all
29:02
Speaker 5: of that, other people can achieve that freedom. I was
29:06
Speaker 5: praying and I was thinking, man, I'm supposed to be
29:08
Speaker 5: free from this physical prison right now, because Lord, I'm
29:12
Speaker 5: playing to you. You know everything that went on, You
29:14
Speaker 5: know my heart, You know me inside and out?
29:16
Speaker 6: Why are you.
29:17
Speaker 5: Allowing this to happen to me? But I wasn't even
29:19
Speaker 5: ready for what He was preparing for me. And you
29:23
Speaker 5: know that's the crown that He's given me. That now,
29:27
Speaker 5: that's the life that I can do.
29:28
Speaker 3: All I have to do is go around and tell
29:30
Speaker 3: people how good God is. I don't have a job,
29:32
Speaker 3: that's my job. It's a testify how good He is.
29:36
Speaker 7: And so that's what it means for me, you know,
29:42
Speaker 7: fear Listening to you guys, it reminds me of a call.
29:46
Speaker 7: And don't quote me on it because I don't know
29:48
Speaker 7: who actually says, but it says our deepest spirits that
29:51
Speaker 7: we are in an adequate, our deeper spirits, that we
29:54
Speaker 7: are powerful beyond measure. It is not our life, but
29:57
Speaker 7: our darkness that most frightens us. You plan small does
30:00
Speaker 7: not served the world. There is nothing likely about you
30:03
Speaker 7: shrinking so others won't feel insecure around you. Because we
30:06
Speaker 7: are all meant to shine as children do, and as
30:09
Speaker 7: we let our own life shine well unconsciously give other
30:12
Speaker 7: people permission to do the same.
30:20
Speaker 3: I'm Laurna Rosa.
30:21
Speaker 2: This is the latest with Laura Rosa. At the end
30:23
Speaker 2: of the day, I tell you, guys, every episode my Lowriders,
30:26
Speaker 2: y'all could be anywhere with anybody having a conversation about this,
30:29
Speaker 2: but y'all choose to be right here with me. I
30:31
Speaker 2: appreciate y'all for that. I will catch you in my
30:33
Speaker 2: next episode.