Latest / The Big Cunty Couch / Drag Race Season 18 Audition Tape REVIEW | TBCC Patreon Teaser

Transcript

Drag Race Season 18 Audition Tape REVIEW | TBCC Patreon Teaser · The Big Cunty Couch

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: This is Patreon.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Hello.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: This is Patreon.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Behind the Paywall.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: To Behind the the The Couch.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Things are a little different.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Under the couch.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, things are a little different.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: We've never had We're a little close.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: We've never had this camera angle before.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: We've never been front and center.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: And we've never been this close together on the couch.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Feels like we're the main characters for once.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: We are reviewing, we're doing a deck director's commentary on my drag race audition.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: For Flucky Girls.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: For um season 17, was it?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: 18.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: You didn't audition for 17.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like in retrospect, they needed ya.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: They needed you.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: The game needed ya.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um Yeah, I auditioned for season 18 and I didn't get on, which is a bummer, but uh my tape was good and cute, and I should have.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll probably agree when you see this fucking amazing shit.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: So how do we want to frame this?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: Do we just want to dive in and gab about it, or do we want to give people a little bit of like an insight into what the audition process is?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we start there?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: So every year they put out a call that says auditions are open.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Typically, that is in the fall.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Becoming earlier and earlier.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: But they so they put out the call and then you go and you like sign up to get the materials, right?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then they send it to you.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: A ton of fucking shit.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a boy, it's an interview out of drag uh that can only be two minutes long.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's a compilation of looks.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think at least 10 to 12.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you can never repeat looks.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: They they say, like, do not show us any footage that we've ever seen.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like you have to spend a million dollars a year and yeah, you have to do two Snatch Game characters.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: Two Snatch Game characters.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: You have to do a runway walk.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's humiliating.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: You have to do a RuPaul song lip sync.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Even more humiliating.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: No edits and yeah, they force you to do a one-take uh yeah, unedited lip sync RuPaul song, which as you know, that's that's hard.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then uh Song of your choice.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Song of your choice, and then also a talent, I think.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: And then they're like we're forgetting something.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, reading.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: They make five queens from the past or something.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then they say it has to be 20 minutes or under, or you're just you're not even considered.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it's actually insane because if you do the math, it's actually impossible to include all that stuff in 20 minutes.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to just kind of make your own choices as to what makes the cut and what doesn't, and you just sort of roll the dice and hope that this is the combo they're looking for this time.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: And yet you want me to do it again.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Perf.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Today's big Arf energy.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know what this is also giving?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the motherfucking brunette Barbie.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: I just work at Arby's.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: They already shut it off.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, imagine.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's so many things that come in that like that might be it.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like they have to like put these weird filters into like casting, like American Idol.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: There were certain tables that could only say yes to like literally curly haired brunette women.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, maybe I said Arby's and they're like, you know, imagine.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: You just never know what this fucking changes are.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the motherfucking brunette Barbie.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm not.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: I just work at Arby's.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Where's the lie?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: This is category big girls.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I lost a bunch of weight, pause it.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Totally deposit.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Totally, it's category big girls.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, my name is Angelo Ballstone.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: My drag name is Gina T.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: I am proudly 34 years old.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: I live in Brooklyn, but I am originally from Rhode Island, and we are currently in Gowanis on the set of my podcast, The Big Hunty Couch.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: You're 35.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I'm 35.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Keep that in.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: I will like a how could you not cast that little b- It's cute.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a makeup artist.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I know I'm playing the face game.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: My face card never declines.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really resourceful with unconventional materials.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: I can gave her anything.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: There's never been one thing I can't do.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Except dance.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Back on.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: I do look bear there.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: You do.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: There are little pockets of move of like me being sexy.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: I killed that night.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: Back to the dark lady.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: This is this you turn the party! Little editing magic there for that.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: Daytime.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: This is my rock mama.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, this is my rock mama.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: Every shot.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: Patreon rock mama.
• 5:00
  unknown: So many.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: That wig was on, honey.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: Thank God.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Patreon uh subscribers, patrons, whatever.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: That is the um that's the number.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you uh if you watched the wicked episode, that's the number that uh Gina was unable to climb the pole.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Uh how dare you at the big um climactic part of the song.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: I at least I didn't try three times.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: I did it once, slid twice, slid.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: Shame on me.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'll never forget because you did it and then you did this to the crowd.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: You went to like show them that it was greasy or something.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: I am cringerella klein.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, literally, like it can't get worse.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like the stuff I'll do, like, I'll break character and be like, like when it took like you need an hour to place the door down, I did a Titanic number and there was a door on my back, and like for whatever reason, I decided to like slowly put it down instead of just like throwing the prop and moving on, like you're in a performance you idiot.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you sponge.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: I do little shit like that, and it's like, are you okay?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer is no.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: My god.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then I I that's why I had I have like stress dreams of like how cringe I am.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: At those little moments of like me doing placing the door.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, drop the door.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, that's that's classic ange.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think you We gotta bottle that.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: Do we?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: But hmm, call me Miss Biggie.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: You can't do trademark characters, and uh, so people make loopholes or like, you know, this is a loophole, so I'm doing I'm saying I'm Frank Oz.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: The the puppeteer and voice act, the original voice actor for Miss Piggy and many of the Muppets.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Which I thought they would love, because they do like that stupid like those sort of loophole.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like they're gonna love the.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, they always they'll always have it'll be like you know, Jennifer Annison, but she's playing Rachel.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's like that's where all the material's coming from or whatever.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Not that anyone's ever done that.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: IG.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I fell off my program.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think I need Ozempik.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I have a Dinsy Winsy cold.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: So excuse him, what?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I sound like fucking Yoda.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I have a little frog in my bow, if you know what I mean.