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#HURDLEMOMENT: 8 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned From Two Years of Hurdle · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdlers, Emily about a year bringing you the first
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: hurdle of twenty twenty. Oh man, it feels good. We
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: made it happy New Year. I can't believe that I
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: am bringing you this episode officially the day after the
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: two year anniversary of Hurdle Guys. To say that the
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: podcast has God changed me sounds corny, but it would
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: be a total understatement. I feel like over the last
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  Speaker 1: two years, I've had the opportunity not just to learn
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and grow, but just to become a better version of myself,
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  Speaker 1: thanks large in part to the interactions with all of
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  Speaker 1: you and of course my guests, which is what inspired
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: the second annual Year in review of inspiration. I'm bringing
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  Speaker 1: you today for Hurdle Moment the most inspiring tidbits I
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  Speaker 1: have garnered from sitting down with just so many awesome,
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  Speaker 1: awesome people from some of my favorites like Tia Clear
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: to Me whose episode I recorded in a studio in
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  Speaker 1: the Bahamas, that at one point or another both Celine
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  Speaker 1: Bion and Justin Timberlake recorded in to writer and runner
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  Speaker 1: Dorothy Beal, also Nike Master trainers Bettina Gozo and Joe Holder.
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  Speaker 1: Today's episode is full of really great wisdom, tidbits and
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  Speaker 1: nuggets to help you kick off your new year right
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  Speaker 1: as always and maybe more importantly today than usual. Please,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: whatever you take from this episode, whatever you love, let
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: me know, post it in your Instagram stories, share the
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: episode with a friend. I can't thank you enough for
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: always being my hype man, and I of course want
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: to be yours. So that means if you have heard
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: a moment of your own to share, or you just
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: want to say hi, I always want to hear from you,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: feel free to reach out to me. It's Emily at
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: hurdle dot us and just a quick note, I am
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: taking my first ever season break over the next week.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: That's right, I'll be taking next week off, So the
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: first episode of season two of Hurdle Podcasts, two years
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  Speaker 1: in the making, will be out on January thirteenth. I'm
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: looking forward to bringing you all of the goodness starting then,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: and with that, let's get to hurdling. The past year
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  Speaker 1: of hurdling has been really special in that it's caused
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  Speaker 1: me to go outside of my comfort zone in a
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  Speaker 1: way that I'm not all that sure I ever have before,
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  Speaker 1: whether that was traveling across the country to try to
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  Speaker 1: record six episodes in three days in Los Angeles to
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: the inspiration that I gained from all of you to
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: push myself and find that new personal best in Chicago.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: But my favorite part comes at the end of every
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  Speaker 1: single episode when I ask my guests what piece of
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  Speaker 1: advice they would offer themselves if they had the opportunity
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  Speaker 1: at this time looking back on some of their most
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  Speaker 1: difficult hurdle moments and in this time of reflection, well
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  Speaker 1: that's when some of the best tidbits come. So lesson
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  Speaker 1: Number one, give to give, not to want anything in return.
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  Speaker 1: From Betina Gozo. I love this sentiment because for me,
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  Speaker 1: giving and acts of service they're definitely my love languages.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I love to give, not just material things, but my time,
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  Speaker 1: and I do it because I like to see them smile.
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  Speaker 1: I like to know that what I can offer them
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  Speaker 1: is something that truly brings them joy, even if it
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: is just my physical presence. It took me a long time, though,
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  Speaker 1: to get to a place where I understood why I
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: was doing it because I loved the reaction, not because
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I was looking for anything in return. I find that
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  Speaker 1: the best presence that you can give to someone is
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  Speaker 1: sometimes unexpected and is one that is just meaningful. It's
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: something that's specific to them. There's a specific reason why
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  Speaker 1: you decided that in that moment, whatever it is, that
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  Speaker 1: someone that you care about, they needed to have that,
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  Speaker 1: and that, for me, is something I'm definitely taking into
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  Speaker 1: the new year. Lesson number two, be grateful for what
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  Speaker 1: you're given, but demand what you deserve. From none other
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  Speaker 1: than soccer superstar Alex Morgan, so often we settle right.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like the easiest example might be when it
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  Speaker 1: comes to dating. For so long, with so many partners,
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  Speaker 1: I have gotten to a point where I was okay
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  Speaker 1: with the status quo. The status quo can be great sometimes,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: but I believe that there is greatness for me, at
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  Speaker 1: least in the romantic department. And it's okay if I
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  Speaker 1: haven't found it yet, but I know that I deserve
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  Speaker 1: butterflies and excitement and someone that wants to give unconditionally
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  Speaker 1: like I want to give unconditionally, Someone that genuinely cares
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  Speaker 1: about the other people around them, that isn't inconvenienced when
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  Speaker 1: they have to go out of their way to do
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  Speaker 1: some good. Outside of just my romantic relationships, I've come
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  Speaker 1: to realize you have to own your worth. When you
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  Speaker 1: own it, people treat you with the respect that you deserve.
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  Speaker 1: We need to stop accepting less We need to commit
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  Speaker 1: to embracing our fullest potential. Lesson number three. If you
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  Speaker 1: take a chance and believe in yourself, anything is possible.
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  Speaker 1: This one's from Tia Claire to me, the fittest woman
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  Speaker 1: on Earth. The biggest thing that prevents us from going
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  Speaker 1: after what it is that we want is that we're scared, right,
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  Speaker 1: But the reality is is that when you put aside
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  Speaker 1: that security blanket, that fear, and you open yourself up
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  Speaker 1: to different possibilities, you open yourself up to the glory
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  Speaker 1: of having the opportunity to put in the work. That is,
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  Speaker 1: when you really open the doors, not just the unlocked
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  Speaker 1: doors that maybe you've been scared to grab the handle of,
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  Speaker 1: but the ones that have the bolt, you might become
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  Speaker 1: more willing to try something new, to go after that
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  Speaker 1: new job, to sign up for the marathon, to ask
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  Speaker 1: her out on the date, to wear that outfit, whatever
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  Speaker 1: the case may be. There's nothing more beautiful than to
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  Speaker 1: see someone that truly believes that they are worthy of
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  Speaker 1: their own investment, that believes that they have the power
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  Speaker 1: to go after anything that it is that they want,
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  Speaker 1: which is why I love a lesson at number four
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  Speaker 1: oh so much from miss Alli Love, a founder of
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  Speaker 1: Love Squad and Brooklyn Nuts host and of course a
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  Speaker 1: boss on the bike over at Peloton. She said, take
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  Speaker 1: a risk on yourself, trying things, going for what you want.
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  Speaker 1: It's scary a f sometimes. This year for me was
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  Speaker 1: really about going after what I wanted instead of just settling.
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  Speaker 1: Seems to be a theme here. I found that my
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  Speaker 1: most rewarding moments were the moments that I was willing
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  Speaker 1: to really go for it. Sometimes this means that you
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  Speaker 1: have to be willing to walk away from the things
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  Speaker 1: that don't serve you, and this goes back to knowing
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  Speaker 1: your worth. Sure, there have been some things that didn't
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  Speaker 1: pan out, but for every single risk that I have
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  Speaker 1: taken this year, I have felt as though the efforts
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  Speaker 1: have paid off. And whether or not I got what
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  Speaker 1: I wanted out of the whole situation, the truth is
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  Speaker 1: is that each of them had their own lessons, and
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  Speaker 1: for each of them, I'm better. Lesson number five look
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  Speaker 1: at conflict as an opportunity to make all of your
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  Speaker 1: relationships stronger. This one's from George Foreman, listen. Conflict sucks sometimes.
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  Speaker 1: I am someone who who doesn't like confrontation. I am
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  Speaker 1: the kind of person that watches you on Netflix and
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  Speaker 1: needs to like pause it and gently fast forward so
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  Speaker 1: that I don't have to cringe because I'm nervous about
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  Speaker 1: what's going to happen next and uncomfortable about what I'm
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: seeing on the screen. That's who I am. And although
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I might not enjoy having hard to have conversations in
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  Speaker 1: any of my relationships, whether they are a personal or professional,
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  Speaker 1: what I have come to truly understand this year is
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  Speaker 1: that we have the opportunity to learn, especially when we
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  Speaker 1: feel as though we are being tested. Some of these conflicts,
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  Speaker 1: you know, they might result in tears in bed, and
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  Speaker 1: other ones they might trigger you to go work out
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  Speaker 1: for god knows how long. But at the end of
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  Speaker 1: the day, what's important is that even though they might
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  Speaker 1: be hard to get through, that you take the time
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  Speaker 1: to reflect on the experience. Just like the good times,
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  Speaker 1: the hard times, the conflicts, there is so much value there.
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  Speaker 1: So rather and walking away from conflict, we owe it
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  Speaker 1: to ourselves to chin up, to face it, to feel
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  Speaker 1: how you're going to feel, and then take a step back,
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  Speaker 1: analyze and grow from it. Lesson number six. The things
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  Speaker 1: you think you're not good at, those may just be
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  Speaker 1: old stories you're telling yourself. This one comes from Lisa Hiam.
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  Speaker 1: I can draw comparisons here to the Brooklyn Mile and
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  Speaker 1: the two mile races I did in twenty nineteen. Growing up,
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  Speaker 1: my brother used to poke fun at me and he
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  Speaker 1: would tell me to go run a mile, and it
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  Speaker 1: just was never something that I was good at at
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  Speaker 1: the time. Battling with my weight, being overweight, I wasn't
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  Speaker 1: exactly a fast mover, and for so long I felt
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  Speaker 1: as though I was never meant to run fast period.
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  Speaker 1: But that's the thing, right, I felt that way, But
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  Speaker 1: that isn't fact. That is something that is a perception.
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  Speaker 1: That was something that I had the ability to change,
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  Speaker 1: that I could change the narrative. And so that's exactly
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  Speaker 1: what I did this year when I ran two mile races,
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  Speaker 1: both in under six' ten. SPLIT i had to let
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  Speaker 1: go of the girl THAT i was at one. TIME
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  Speaker 1: i had to open myself up to a new. Storyline
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  Speaker 1: so WHAT i wholeheartedly encourage you to do is ask,
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  Speaker 1: yourself what are the stories that you are telling Yourself
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  Speaker 1: i'd actually be really interested to hear from some of
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  Speaker 1: you about what some of these narratives look. Like lesson number.
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  Speaker 1: Seven the relationship you have with yourself is your longest.
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  Speaker 1: One make it count From Dorothy. Beale this is something
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  Speaker 1: THAT i have so, much so focused on over the
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  Speaker 1: last two, years you, know being a woman in her
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  Speaker 1: early thirties living on her own in one of the,
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  Speaker 1: busiest most chaotic cities in the. World it's so important
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  Speaker 1: for me to feel comfortable with, me to be able
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  Speaker 1: to feel safe in my own, body in my own.
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  Speaker 1: Space i've come to learn that it is just so
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  Speaker 1: important to take the time to show up for, you
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  Speaker 1: to take care of. View and of course the ways
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: that we can do that those evolve with. Time and
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: something that you did back in twenty fifteen that you
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: love was a way for you to take care of.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Yourself that might not be the same, now and that's.
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  Speaker 1: Okay maybe it's taking some time to spend by, yourself
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: or going to that hot yoga, class or writing down
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: what's on your, mind whatever it. Is however it is
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: that you take time to come back to your, foundation that's.
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  Speaker 1: Important sometimes this also means putting in the work. RIGHT
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: i KNOW i can totally geek out on a lot
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: of these self help books and mindfulness practices and development
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: exercises or whatever you want to call. Them is, that,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: yes it is, work but you'll never regret putting it,
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  Speaker 1: in especially when it comes to. YOURSELF i challenge you
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  Speaker 1: to take some time as we start a new year
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: to really identify again what is it that are your
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: values and are you living? Them? Now i've talked about this.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Before how is it that we identify our? VALUES i mean,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: literally it's as easy as googling popular values and looking
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: at a list and seeing what really resonates with. You
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  Speaker 1: feel That for, ME i know that my biggest values
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  Speaker 1: are kindness and, gratitude AND i come back to it a.
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  Speaker 1: LOT i do a pulse check a lot with. Myself
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  Speaker 1: AM i living these on a daily? Basis and the
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: last Lesson i'm going to share with you guys from
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: twenty nineteen's, hurdle if you try to be, everything you're
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  Speaker 1: really just. Nothing it sounds a little harsh and these
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: words are coming From Joe, holder but this one really
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: resonated with. Me when we try to do it, all
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  Speaker 1: when we try to be a person for, everyone then
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: you get lost in, that you lose some of your.
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  Speaker 1: Authenticity the fact is is THAT i am not everyone's, person.
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  Speaker 1: Period no matter how hard it might be to face
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: criticisms or get, judged or worry about who has what to,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: say or think you can't please. Everyone you won't be
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  Speaker 1: four everyone instead of trying to do it all and
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: show up for everyone and be. Everywhere the fact is
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  Speaker 1: is that sometimes you need to make the tough. Calls
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: you need to, choose and when you, choose that's when
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: you have the opportunity to be authentic to who it
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: is that you. Are and that's important. Again come back
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: to your, values trust that feeling that you have in
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: your gut when it comes to making difficult. Decisions show
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: up for yourself because you want to show up for
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: the people you care about because it feels, right not
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: because you feel like you're supposed. To when you are
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: who you're supposed to, be when you are your authentic,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: self things just feel. Easier your moral compass doesn't feel
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: like it's spinning in a dozen and a half. Directions
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: you find peace with. That and that's what twenty nineteen
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: has been a lot about for, me is finding peace
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: with WHO i, am owning WHO i, am and showing
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: up the best WAY i, can the best way THAT
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: i know how authentically as Me emily just trying to
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: hurdle the best she can every single, day and that's.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: It Happy New year. Everyone let's make the next three
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: sixty five something to truly remember another hurdle. Conquered catch
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: you guys next. Time