Latest / In 9 Minutes / How to Tackle the Holidays So They Don’t Tackle You!
Transcript
- 0:04Jennifer Sise: If you had a dollar for every time you heard yourself or someone else say I don't have time for that, you'd probably be rich.
- 0:10Jennifer Sise: I know life can feel like a circus, especially when you're trying to juggle it all, and I know what it's like to be pulled in a million different directions and to feel like there's never enough time to do all the things for all the people.
- 0:23Jennifer Sise: But I really believe that what you want is possible.
- 0:26Jennifer Sise: It just requires some decision making and intentional action.
- 0:30Jennifer Sise: You truly can't make time or find time.
- 0:32Jennifer Sise: You have to set it apart, and I'll show you how to make big moves and take game changing action nine minutes at a time.
- 0:39Jennifer Sise: I'm Jennifer Seiss and I love helping impact-oriented women run their home life and business, gain traction in their day to day and have more time with the people they love the most.
- 0:51Jennifer Sise: My heart is to share what I've learned along the way and help you get more of what you want out of your life and work.
- 0:57Jennifer Sise: Every episode is designed to get you on your way to a quick win, so grab your favorite beverage, pull up a chair and let's start making more of your time.
- 1:05Jennifer Sise: Hey there, and welcome to episode four of the In Nine Minutes podcast.
- 1:09Jennifer Sise: I'm Jennifer Sise and I can't wait to connect with you over the next nine minutes.
- 1:13Jennifer Sise: Have you seen the clip of Phoebe from Friends saying remember the time and laughing just for the sake of laughing?
- 1:20Jennifer Sise: I think a lot of people try to dig deep for those kind of feelings around the holidays because when it comes to the holidays, they can typically go one of two ways.
- 1:29Jennifer Sise: One, you are looking forward to them with great anticipation and excitement and they're like the best part of the whole year, or you dread them.
- 1:37Jennifer Sise: Now there are a handful of people who are kind of indifferent about them, but ultimately most people sit in one of the two extremes that I'm talking about and things like blended families or volatile relationships, hectic travel, financial burdens and things like that can really add up and make the holidays tricky and feelings around the holidays kind of run the gamut and those feelings can range from stress to joy.
- 2:05Jennifer Sise: So I recently did a survey and things like these words came up I'm so stressed out about getting it all done.
- 2:13Jennifer Sise: I am dreading being in the kitchen all day.
- 2:17Jennifer Sise: I'm not sure how we're going to balance seeing family and friends.
- 2:20Jennifer Sise: I feel kind of anxious around food because I've been working on some health and wellness goals, and I feel like all of the food around the holidays are going to cause me to tank.
- 2:31Jennifer Sise: It's so expensive, the holidays are so expensive, our schedule is so hectic, and when I travel, I feel like I need to go on another vacation just to recover, and so a lot of these things can be swirling around in your mind before you go, before the holidays even get here, and so I want to share a pro tip for tackling the holidays, so they don't tackle you, and I want to help you create the holidays that you really want to be a part of and teach you how you can get the holiday experience that you want or get a little closer to it.
- 3:07Jennifer Sise: Now, I'm not saying it's going to be perfect, but it will be better, and even if you think the holidays are the best time of year, there are always ways to improve upon things.
- 3:17Jennifer Sise: So my number one tip, one of my biggest tips, is to make decisions in advance around the holidays, and one of the very best ways to make decisions in advance is to set boundaries, because when you set boundaries, you have to do that in advance.
- 3:33Jennifer Sise: You're closing a decision loop, and it's going to feel really good to have those boundaries set in advance.
- 3:39Jennifer Sise: So here are some things about setting boundaries.
- 3:42Jennifer Sise: One is when you set a boundary, it's on you to hold to it.
- 3:45Jennifer Sise: You can't control what other people do, but you can control what you do, and if people don't respect your boundaries, you get to decide what to do about it.
- 3:55Jennifer Sise: You don't need to apologize for your boundaries, but you do need to be kind in communicating them, and you want to be really clear and concise with what your boundaries are.
- 4:06Jennifer Sise: When it comes to setting boundaries around the holidays specifically, here are some other things that you might want to consider.
- 4:11Jennifer Sise: Okay, you want to be clear on exactly what the boundaries are.
- 4:15Jennifer Sise: You want to think about how you're going to manage people's reactions, because there's nothing more like deflating than when you're like, oh, I have the straight boundary, I'm going to set it, I communicate it, and people are like, oh, that's terrible, or why are you going to do that?
- 4:27Jennifer Sise: Or they have all sorts of feelings about it.
- 4:29Jennifer Sise: Well, you're not responsible for those feelings, but you are responsible for caving on your boundary if you kind of get stirred up based on what people say.
- 4:39Jennifer Sise: So you want to think about how you're going to manage the reactions.
- 4:43Jennifer Sise: You also want to share your boundaries with your family in advance.
- 4:48Jennifer Sise: You don't just want to show up on Christmas Eve and tell them how it's going to be, or show up on Thanksgiving and tell them how it's going to be.
- 4:55Jennifer Sise: It's a really good idea to communicate them in advance, and you can do that on the phone, on FaceTime or even via a text message.
- 5:05Jennifer Sise: It's really good if you do it via a text message to follow up with a personal interaction that is face-to-face, so they can hear your tone and how much you love them.
- 5:18Jennifer Sise: When you're communicating this boundary, the other thing is is you have to be super clear about what's going to happen if the boundary doesn't stay in place and that's mostly with yourself and then you need to enforce the boundary.
- 5:31Jennifer Sise: So if you say you're going to leave somewhere at 9 pm and everybody starts trying to convince you to stay longer, you just need to be ready to say you know what we really need to leave at 9 o'clock.
- 5:42Jennifer Sise: That's the decision we made in advance and we're going with that.
- 5:45Jennifer Sise: Also, another really important and valuable thing to do when it comes to setting boundaries, especially around the holidays, is to ask for accountability.
- 5:56Jennifer Sise: So have a friend or your spouse or someone help hold you accountable to those boundaries and ask someone for help.
- 6:04Jennifer Sise: The other thing is is ask people to pray that you would be able to hold to your boundaries if prayer is something that's valuable to you because that can bring you so much peace when you are trying to navigate and enforce the boundaries.
- 6:19Jennifer Sise: The other thing this is one of my favorite boundaries to set and I think it's so valuable and can be so helpful is to have an exit strategy.
- 6:27Jennifer Sise: Decide when you're leaving and if you need to have a code word in case you need to expedite your exit Like oh man, I really don't think I'm going to have another piece of pecan pie Could be your code for relieving grab your stuff, it's time to go, so that you can kind of wrap up the holidays with a good attitude and your heart kind of tuned in the right direction.
- 6:52Jennifer Sise: I think it's really important to remember that it's okay to honor what you want to do too.
- 6:58Jennifer Sise: I'm not advocating for being selfish or like being ugly around holidays, but I am encouraging you to consider, like, what do you want and what does your family want, and how does your immediate family want to walk through the holidays, because it is really valuable and important to remember that you have choices.
- 7:17Jennifer Sise: You have choices.
- 7:19Jennifer Sise: So there are a lot of different ways that you can set boundaries in, a lot of different areas that you can set boundaries in, especially since we're talking about the holidays, and making those decisions in advance will be a game changer.
- 7:34Jennifer Sise: I want to encourage you to take nine minutes this week we're well before the holidays, it's not even Thanksgiving is a week away when you're listening to this and I want you to set apart nine minutes to journal and unpack how you want to feel as you move through the holidays and then also ask yourself do I need to set a boundary?
- 7:55Jennifer Sise: Maybe you don't.
- 7:56Jennifer Sise: You might have this beautiful family experience and there's no need for you to set any boundaries and you're so excited and it's going to be amazing and with that I am so thrilled for you.
- 8:06Jennifer Sise: But if you are in the other camp and you need to set boundaries and you need to make some decisions in advance, I want to encourage you towards that.
- 8:13Jennifer Sise: I want to encourage you to be honoring, towards what you and your immediate family really want and need around the holidays, and then I want you to give yourself a little bit of grace and remember that setting boundaries and making decisions in advance takes practice.
- 8:29Jennifer Sise: So it's okay to want things to be different, but if you don't take actions towards what you want, nothing will change.
- 8:35Jennifer Sise: And it's okay to want to experience Christmas morning the way that you want to experience it.
- 8:44Jennifer Sise: It might make people sad and disappointed, but that isn't on you and if you communicate thoughtfully and gently, that will make a big, huge difference.
- 8:53Jennifer Sise: So take nine minutes this week, set apart that time and just unpack what you want the holidays to be like and decide what actions you need to take towards making that happen.
- 9:04Jennifer Sise: I am so excited for you as you maybe lean into this new way of setting yourself up for enjoying the holidays in a whole new way, and I can't wait to see you on the next episode.
- 9:16Jennifer Sise: Thanks so much for listening today.
- 9:20Jennifer Sise: Do you have questions you'd love to ask, but don't because you aren't sure who to ask, or you'd rather not let the world in on not having it all together?
- 9:26Jennifer Sise: I get it.
- 9:27Jennifer Sise: I get lots of questions all the time, from parenting to business development to Bible study recommendations to the best meal to serve a crowd and even how to navigate hard conversations.
- 9:38Jennifer Sise: My husband and kids call me Google, and since I'm a problem solver by nature and love research, it sort of fits.
- 9:44Jennifer Sise: So I am so excited to answer your questions.
- 9:47Jennifer Sise: You can share your questions with me by DMing me on Instagram @jennifersise and I'll answer your questions on an upcoming episode.
- 9:55Jennifer Sise: So here's to more intentional connection and less grind, nine minutes at a time.