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Be Your Own Best Friend: The Heart of True Leadership · The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson

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  Welcome to the Humanistic Leader Podcast. This is Dr.
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  Craig Nathanson, and in today's short reflection, I want to invite you to slow
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  down for a few moments and think more deeply about leadership,
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  life, work, and what it means to remain human in a rapidly changing world.
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  Today, I want to talk about something
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  deeply human, and that is the relationship we have with ourselves.
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  People move through life carrying an inner voice that is incredibly harsh.
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  You know, we tend to replay mistakes. We criticize ourselves.
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  We compare ourselves to others. We focus on what we have not accomplished instead
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  of how far we have already come.
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  And over time, this creates emotional exhaustion.
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  One thing I continue learning as I get older is that self-leadership is not
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  about becoming perfect.
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  It is about learning how to guide ourselves through life with,
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  you know, honesty, patience, forgiveness, and compassion. I do this for myself each and every day.
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  Now, that sounds simple, but many people were really never taught how to do this.
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  Many people became very skilled at achievement, very skilled at responsibility,
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  very skilled at surviving.
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  But not always very skilled at self-kindness. In today's world where people
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  constantly compare themselves online and feel pressure to keep producing and performing,
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  many people quietly feel emotionally worn out and worn down.
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  I think one of the greatest leadership challenges of our time may actually be
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  learning how to create a healthier relationship with ourselves.
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  Because if we constantly attacked ourselves internally, eventually it becomes
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  difficult, you know, to feel peace, gratitude, or joy.
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  I also think many people carry invisible regret.
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  They replay decisions. I know I have. They replay relationships.
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  They replay missed opportunities.
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  They replay mistakes from years ago, as if emotionally punishing themselves
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  will, you know, somehow change the past.
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  But one thing life keeps teaching me is that guilt and regret slowly drain emotional energy.
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  And at some point, we have to begin accepting that at each stage of our life,
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  we did the best we could with the awareness, maturity, and emotional tools that we had at the time.
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  But that doesn't mean we stop growing. It simply means we need to stop emotionally
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  attacking ourselves every day.
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  Sometimes being your own best friend means learning how to look at your past
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  with a little more compassion.
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  Take a moment and think about a decision that you will regret.
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  Something you still replay in your mind from time to time.
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  Now imagine yourself slowly floating upward into the clouds above that moment.
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  From a distance, you can see your younger self standing there,
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  trying to make the best decision you could with the awareness,
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  experience, and emotional state that you had at the time.
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  Maybe with the wisdom you have today, you can clearly see a different path.
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  A calmer response, a wiser decision, a different direction.
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  But then notice something important. The version of you back then did not know what you know now.
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  That version had not lived through the lessons, the heartbreak, the growth, the years.
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  And maybe becoming your own best friend begins when you stop speaking to your past self like an enemy.
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  And begin speaking to yourself like someone worthy of understanding.
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  I've been thinking this about a lot lately as I get older myself.
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  Sometimes I notice how easy it is to become overly focused on time,
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  how fast life can move, how quickly the years pass.
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  And if I'm not careful, I can start also drifting away from the present moment
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  about worrying too much about the future or replaying parts of the past.
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  But one thing life keeps teaching me is that peace often returns when we come
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  back to the moment we are actually living.
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  Could be a walk, a conversation, a quiet morning, even the sound of birds outside,
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  a cup of coffee, a few minutes of gratitude.
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  You know, not every stage of life feels easy, but maybe self-leadership also
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  means learning how to stop fighting ourselves quite so much.
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  Maybe becoming your own best friend means learning how to guide yourself through
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  life with a little more patience, compassion, and acceptance.
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  I think many people spend their lives being their own worst critic.
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  But what if leadership starts internally?
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  What if becoming your own best friend is actually one of the most important
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  forms of self-leadership?
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  I want you to pause again for a moment and think about someone you deeply care about.
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  Friend, spouse, a child, someone you truly love.
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  Now imagine they felt exactly the way you feel today.
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  What would you say to them? Would you encourage them?
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  Would you tell them not to give up? Would you remind them they are doing better than they think?
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  Would you tell them to rest? Would you tell them that they still matter?
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  Good. Now ask yourself a difficult question. Why don't I deserve the same kindness?
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  Sit quietly with that thought for a moment. The truth is, we spend our entire lives with ourselves.
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  Learning how to guide ourselves with honesty and compassion may become one of
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  the most important emotional skills of the AI era.
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  Because as the world becomes faster and more mechanical, Becoming more human
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  internally may matter even more.
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  Self-leadership is not constant self-criticism. It is learning how to become your own best friend.
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  This is Dr. Craig Nathanson. And wherever you are on your journey,
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  remember to be your own best friend, to learn to lead yourself before leading
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  others, and keep becoming more human in a rapidly changing world. Until next time.