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The Quiet Power of the Body and Creation · Is Your Way In Your Way?

• 0:25
  SPEAKER_03: Good day out there.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I'd like to welcome you to It's Your Way in Your Way podcast.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: And my name for those new listeners is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, I am your host.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: And also, that is the name of my debut book, Is Your Way in Your Way.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: So let me tell you this.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: This is a podcast where we're going to expose the invisible barriers that keep extraordinary women from living extraordinary lives.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Every week, you're going to discover more clarity, I would say courage and confidence, and stop standing in your own way and start becoming the one you were ordained to be.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: So today, our name of our podcast is the quiet power of the body, of the body and creation.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: So listeners, this is gonna be really something because we're gonna talk about the body.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna talk talking to a woman that has experienced a lot coming from Russia, and she's she's knows what it means to reinvent her life.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: So no further ado, let me introduce you to Hello Natalia Belovich.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: How are you today?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: How are you, Cassandra?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: I am doing well, and listeners, not only she told me I could call her Natalia because that's her name, but she's also said I can call her Natasha, just in case I get the Natalia incorrect.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: So welcome to Is Your Way in Your Way.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I am looking forward, and my listeners are looking forward to how you perhaps got unstuck.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: What are those barriers, internal barriers that you've been dealing with or have overcome?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: Or are you still a work in process with those barriers?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: But before we get started, I gotta read your bio just so my listeners understand what qualifies you to talk about what we can really talk about.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I already said that you know what it means to reinvent your life with carriage.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: So Natali, she's an author.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness, what what what a book that she wrote called The Velvet Blade, which is a fiction book.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_03: Also, she is an entrepreneur, a former educational leader who emigrated to the U.S.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: from Russia at the age of 22 and built a new life from the ground up with three master's degrees, a successful business, and her debut book novel, Velvet Lee.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: She inspires others to embrace authenticity, creativity, and the courage to outgrow the life that no longer fits.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: Her work encourages you, people, to just rediscover who they always were meant to be.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, wow, wow, wow.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: Boy, let me let me ask you this.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: I don't let me let me do an intro question for you.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: Now you spent two decades, you reinvented yourself, you came to the US at the age of 22 from Russia.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: It sounds like you just kind of you started.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_03: You just started on your own while you were there, you had three children, you got married, just a whole lot of stuff where individuals would think, wow, what a successful life.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: You actually spent two decades now building a successful life.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: So many people would think externally you achieved the life you supposed to have.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think about that?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: Did you externally, you're right, externally, you know, when we when we go through these phases, you got these degrees, you you're living your life like this golden, it seems like, but yet you say externally, this is what people think success is.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me what when you say external, what was happening internally?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Because one of the things you said, success does not always involve fulfillment.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: Tell us a little more about that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, I want to thank you for having me on the podcast.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to say thank you to all the listeners who's gonna be listening today.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very grateful for the opportunity actually to speak my truth now very loudly.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: It hasn't been so for many years.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: So right now, I'm actually very grateful.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm also a woman of faith, as you told me in in like five minutes before we started the conversation.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I am very grateful.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let me let me start.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think that's true from the outside.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: From the outside, from the external perspective, my uh life has always looked extremely successful.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: I came to the US when I was 22.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: I built myself from the ground up, but I came with a good foundation actually, because I studied at the University of Foreign Languages in Moscow, and uh my English was always perfect.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I came here with a with a huge advantage that many people don't have, which is a language.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yes, I did earn three master degrees in the process of me establishing myself over here.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: I got married, I was having my kids, and I was having all of those degrees of wow, and I built a business and actually I raised uh wonderful kids.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: My I have three children.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: My oldest son is 14, my middle one is 12, and I have a younger daughter, she's nine, and I absolutely love my kids, and they are absolutely amazing individuals, and I'm blessed to have kids like that.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So if you look at my life from the outside, as all the people are looking, it really does look like I had achieved this American dream, right?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that we all talk about.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I'm very I'm deeply grateful for it.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: But here is what I've learned.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that external success and the inner alignment that you have inside, they are not the same things at all.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, because we spend so much of our lives learning how to build a successful life, right?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: We we are taught from the beginning how to achieve, how to work hard, how to reach the next milestone?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's always something that you have to reach, right?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: But very few of us are taught to ask a very genuine question.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Does the life still reflect who I am becoming in the process of all this achievement?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and that was the question that that actually changed everything for me because it started for me with this question.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: And let me ask you this.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, some you've done like two, two, I would say decades in this business, right?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: Just working the degrees, the success.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: When when in your career or within your external success that you something made you ask yourself that question.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: What was it to make you take a deep dive into that question you just asked yourself?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: Something triggered it.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, it has to be a trigger.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: The trigger is always there, yes.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you there was like a one particular singular moment, although I can pinpoint a few.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: I would say it was like a series of quiet moments that became impossible to ignore for me.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: At the moment that I started asking myself this question, I was an educational leader at the at the private school in uh Manhattan for autistic children.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: It was a huge school of we had approximately 150 kids, and I had a personnel of approximately 100 people.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: So imagine the load of work that I had.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of responsibilities, extremely stressful work environment.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm having my own kids.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: You have to mind this.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm doing all of this with three kids right there behind my back.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And one of them, Alyssa, she was little.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: She was literally at that time, she was 18 months old.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I just stopped breastfeeding her.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's we as women, we don't talk about it that too much, actually, about lots of endurance that we have to do on a regular basis because everybody actually expects us to perform our best, correct?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: But what we feel inside, nobody asks us, how do you feel when you are waking up at 5 a.m.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: in the morning, leaving your baby to the babysitter and going to open a school in Manhattan at 8 a.m.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And God forbid you don't open that school because you are the leader and you have to welcome all the parents and and and everybody.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I can tell you that I was functioning, obviously.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was very productive.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was uh taking care of my family, I was doing the school.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I was actually doing everything that I was supposed to do.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: But underneath all of that, I was dying.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was dying, I was barely alive, and I kept on asking the same question as I was moving higher and higher in my career, and I went actually pretty high in my career because after that I went into board of education and I was doing a very high position over there.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was asking myself a question do I really want this?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it something that maybe somebody told me on the way and I just picked it up and I thought, oh, you know, maybe this is good for me.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I should start doing this, you know?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I remember that I wasn't really sleeping well.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: I uh, you know, my body was creaming, creaming in fatigue, in in dreams, in, you know, in anything possible.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about the body later because this is a separate subject of what I write.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I kept on dismissing it.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, you know, maybe I would exercise a little more, or maybe I should sleep in like an hour more on Saturday or Sunday, you know.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm just tired.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe, maybe I'm just need a vacation, you know.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I should, maybe I should just take a chill pill for a week.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't call and burn, though.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Were you burned out?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Are you sure?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was for me, as I think about it right now, it was burnout and it was postpartum depression that I actually have to admit finally, after actually my daughter is nine right now.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I do admit that I got into this postpartum depression after her.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: And together with the burnout and all the you know things that were happening in my life, it just gave this cure, this this feeling.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I kept on dismissing it because I thought, okay, you know, let me just deal with it.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just deal with the uh with the with the with the symptoms, you know.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just go to the doctor, we'll we'll you know, we'll think of something and something and something.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, the body is never lying to you, you know, it it talks to you in the subtle things that you try to dismiss, but in the end, it's gonna catch up to you and it's gonna be bad.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um, Tasha, I'm switching names, Natalia and Natasha.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Let me ask you, while you were in the crux of all of that, would you say you were stuck?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you knew it was something inside, you were having these dreams.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: The post quantum, you were like, I know something's wrong.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm just kind of burned out.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you did you get stuck in that?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like you couldn't move forward.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely 100%.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's even hard to admit it for many people, actually.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: And but you know what?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't even call it maybe stuck, although stuck is a good word.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: I I call it I call it the disconnect.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think uh stuck and disconnect it's a very important difference because when you're stuck, it feels like you know where to go, okay?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but I knew that there was something inside of me asking for attention, and I just didn't know yet how to respond to it.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: And there was that definitely a burnout, right?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because I spent like years giving and giving and giving and giving.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: But I just I hadn't practiced what was taking care of my inner life at that time.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: I just I was everything was external on the outside, you know.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't standing still, I was achieving and building and everything, but uh internally, I think that part of me was waiting for me very patiently, and that was the disconnect.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that I have to start moving, but in a different direction.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I didn't know at that time where that direction is going to be and where is it going to lead me?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember that one day I came to work, and that was at the beginning of September, it was the beginning of the school year, and I remembered very well this moment.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: I went into my office and I had to have a meeting with all the principals in in my borough in Brooklyn, in my district.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: It was like around 35 people.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I had that meeting, I held it down.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: I then, like after a couple of hours, I went into my office, I sat down, and I burst into tears.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: It it's just like my body couldn't hold it anymore.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was sitting in my office, I closed the door, and I was hysterically, I was crying hysterically, like my body was like convulsing in in crying because I realized that while I was doing this meeting with all these women sitting, you know, and listening and taking notes, I was looking at all these women, and I meant I I I remember that that thought that came to my mind.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, if I'm gonna turn into these women in in about five to ten years, then I'd rather die.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: Because these women were right here.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, when you say I'm gonna turn and teach these women, what were those women?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: What were the characteristics?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was I was going, I was going there.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: I can describe you probably with one word.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: Those women looked so absolutely helpless, very depressed and helpless.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like the like that that internal feeling of life, you know, when you look at a woman, there's something inside of her like a fire burning, and you can always see like that there's so much life in her, you know, you wanna look at this.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was looking at this woman, and I remember that I looked at them and there was no life left over there, and they were so in that feeling, you know, and I was like, oh my god, oh my god, like oh, if I'm gonna lose that, and I will lose it if I keep doing this, and five, ten years, I'm gonna turn into this, that I would rather die.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I came into my office, and that thought was giving me so much grief inside that I started crying hysterically.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember that I locked my office and I and people were keeping bugging me, like they were wanted something answers, and I was all in tears.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, okay, give me a minute.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I went down into my car.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: My car was parked right right there.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: I went into a parking lot, I sat down in my car, I turned off everything so nobody would bother me, and I cried there for about an hour, an hour and a half.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember that I composed myself and I took a phone, and the first phone call that I made it was to my husband, and I said, Andrew, I think I'm going to quit.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, What happened?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: Why, why?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: And he saw by my words that I was crying, and he thought that something happened to me.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'm gonna come home and I'm we're gonna talk about it, but I think that tomorrow I'm gonna quit.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want you to, you know, sure hear this from me.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Through it, exactly.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and yeah, and I remember that I came, I I finished the work, and I came home and we spoke with my husband at that time, and and my husband couldn't just process it.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know how men are.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Men are, you know, they but you worked so hard for it.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: What going on?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, maybe, maybe you need to go to the psychologist, maybe, maybe something like maybe you need to talk it out.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, man, can you just explain to me what's going on?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was actually at that particular time, it was really very hard for me to even articulate why I was so unhappy, what happened to me and that car.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: I just said, Andrew, I need to quit.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm very grateful actually for him staying kind of.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: He said, you know, it was like very hopelessly, he said, okay.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you, you know, if you feel that that's what it is, then okay.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm very grateful that he didn't shame me, he didn't put guilt on me, he didn't get all those negative feelings that usually are happening.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: If if something is not going the way it should be going, right?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yes, so yes, I I in the week I I came.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna interject for a moment.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_03: I love your story, and the reason I love your story because a lot of listeners are going or had been going through what you have gone through.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want them to know that they are not alone.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_03: I get it.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: They're not alone, and a lot of us become shameful.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_03: You're right.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: We got this, we have this, we have the husband, we have the children, we have the home.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: What is your problem?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: But yet, within you, you are falling apart.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: And we as women, we that's not why we're here.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: We are not created to fall apart.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: So instead of take a brick and hit you in the head to say, okay, all right.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: And thank goodness you had someone to lean on.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: Now, there's some listeners that says, Wow, that's how I feel, but I don't have a husband.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: I have children.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: What am I gonna do?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: You know, but your situation is your situation.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: So be and and that's why I'm saying your way is in your way or get out of your way, because if you did not, you may not have survived mentally, emotionally, or physically.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take a short break because there comes a moment when the life you've built no longer feels like your own.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: When the roles you've accepted, the expectations you've carried, and the silence you've lived with can no longer contain who you truly are.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: That moment lies at the heart of Velvet Blade Requiem for Captivity by Natalia Falovic, a powerful novel of resilience, courage, and the search for freedom.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Available now on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Find your copy today through the link in the show notes.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's return to Is Your Way in Your Way with Cassandra Crawley Mayo and Natalia Falovic.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: So when you did that, that that's that's powerful.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: Plus you have the kids.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so once you did that, your life didn't no longer affect who you were becoming, so you had to do something else.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: So what did you do afterwards?
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: You told them you were resigning or whatever.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_03: What was the plan or was their plan?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you, I can't, I don't want to lie to you and tell you that no, absolutely, you know, I just did it blindfoldedly, you know, and and and everything just happened.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna say that.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say that while I was doing all of those things and while I was working in the board of education, I already knew that it's not going to last me that long, that I have to do something about this.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I was thinking of my ways of living.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew that one thing that I wanted to do is I wanted my own business.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to be my own boss, I wanted to be my own kind of a thing.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to do uh to make my own decisions, be responsible for my own decisions and things like this.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I've spoken to my husband about that multiple times.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: And we've been stuck, we started like, you know, like my backup strategy was like, okay, let's let's think of a business that we can do.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: At that time, that I can open my own kind of an educational uh facility.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: We just didn't start it with it.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so my my quitting and all of that, my downfall, right?
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: This epic downfall, like I call it right now, it actually was a stepping stone to me to start doing something about the dream that I had.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: So when I quit from the Board of Education, uh, they didn't let me just leave, you know, like tomorrow.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had to work for six more months to close the uh school year and things like this.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that time allowed me to actually prepare the paperwork and start like really, really, really moving in opening my own business.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And because we had we didn't, I had no choice.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to start moving, so I'm not gonna be left, you know, just hanging.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because I knew that changing a job is meaning that I'm gonna be at the same maybe at the higher position, but in the same work environment.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I knew that no, I cannot do this anymore.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it has to be something completely different.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: And completely different for me was my own business.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: And in this six months, it's it took us a while, and my husband was helping me.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was actually, I managed to open a daycare in Brooklyn.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: It took us about, I would say, eight, nine months uh to do everything to get the things going and everything.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: So by the time I left a board of education, I already had actually my own space.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: It was absolutely fresh.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: We we I started from the get-go, you know, like I always do.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: I came to America with nothing, and you know, I got to the point, and now I quit this, and I got to the point where I had to start again from the bottom up.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, so yeah, I I can't tell you that there was no none, there was no back plan.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was, I had a backup plan in my head.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: I know that a lot of people do not have the opportunities that I have, and I I know, but you know, it's very important just to listen to yourself at this moment, even if you have nowhere to go, even if you know that you are right here at this particular point and you're stuck or you disconnected, the feeling that you have is a valid feeling.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the first step in this is to admit that this is where I am.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can't live in the illusion anymore.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is where I am.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: And from this moment, I think that God gives us, starts, giving us lots of different little things that you can catch and you can start thinking, oh, you know, but but she said something over there the other day, maybe I can do this, or maybe you will hear a phrase somewhere, or maybe you will open the book and some phrase will stand up.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there are little things that will start coming your way.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if you if you don't have a backup plan, this backup plan will emerge while you are in this very fragile state of admitting that's that you are right here, you're stuck.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: And and the point that I'm hearing is you were burnout, you knew that this was not the life you wanted to be or live or display or convey within the remainder of your life.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: There are individuals listening that have lost jobs, and sometimes perhaps your burnout was a knock at the door for you to really do what it was that you wanted to do.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: You know, kind of like so something you're hearing something.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: And for for my listeners, that's when I'm like, it is that that's why this is called, is your way in your way?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_03: And of course you had internal barriers, of course, you probably was afraid, you were embarrassed, like, what am I gonna do?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: But yet you had a plan.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_03: And you're right, some people don't have a plan yet, but they know what they're currently doing, not what they want to do.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: So then I indicated you had a husband to speak with, and my listeners, you have a what I call a tribe or community, individuals that you trust that you can share this with.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why I've loved your story because if it was for a reason, and it's for a reason you're on this is your way in my way, because your way was in your way, but you got to a point I can either be bitter about this, better, or die.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna do that.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: So, okay, so you did the daycare thing, that's something that you wanted to do.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: Now I want to talk about, and I I think I can finally know when you said the body never lies, and you talk about how your nervous system already knows.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: So when you were going through what you were going through, I'm certain your body also was doing some things.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: Tell us about that nervous system because the title is The Quiet Power of the Body and Creation.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, peel that onion a little bit.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I actually love talking about the body.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: I have the whole series on my substack where I write about the body because I think it's very important us as women to hear about it because we've been disconnected from our bodies for centuries, centuries.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, I think my body was speaking to me long before I even had a language to understand what it was telling me.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't, I stopped sleeping well, you know.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And this is, you know, as for women, you know, that for us, sleep is this is an essential thing for us to actually function and look good and feel good and everything.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: I felt constantly exhausted, constantly, no matter the amount of uh supplements that I was taking, right?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: No matter things that I was doing, like no matter the rest that I was taking, no matter the vacations that we went to.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was it was always like kind of heaviness that I I felt right here on my chest.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I believe like everybody will understand this.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: We always like feel a little heavy over here, but and we don't know what that is.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe we want to cry, or maybe we wanna like, and we always dismiss this, you know, we always dismiss this this heaviness that we have inside over here.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Although the crying is is essential medicine for those, you know.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if you feel this, you just cry it out.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: But emotional release, right?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought that at that time that, you know, I just need to be more productive, you know, I just need to manage my life better, you know.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: I like I will push through and everything will be good.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: But our bodies are so honest, you know, so honest.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: And our mind is so good at creating stories that can tell us like everything is fine, just keep going, you know, don't complain.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: But the bodies, yeah, they don't tell stories, you know, they they really don't tell stories because every emotion is uh stored inside the body.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: So first you feel you know exhausted, right?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: You don't sleep very well, then you start noticing changes in your body, your skin doesn't look good anymore, no matter whatever you do, whatever the amount of face creams, facials, I don't know, bolducts, uh, fillers, whatever you do to make you look beautiful, right?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: It does not help you.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because a woman who looks good and feels good inside, you will see this right away.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: A woman who doesn't feel good inside, but she looks good on the outside, you will immediately see there's some kind of a disconnect, there's some kind of a dishonesty over here, and we don't know what that is, right?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then I think the last step in your body that tells you that there's something is going on, please pay attention, uh, is the illnesses, the diseases that start coming up.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: You, I don't want to talk about like really bad diseases, but I do feel that the cancer, everything, everything, all those serious things that we have in our bodies, the heart conditions, they all come from those suppressed, deep emotions that are stored in every part of your body.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And the body always speaks to us in this way.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know that something is going on.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: But what we do, we go to the doctors, they give us pills, they give us supplements, they give us, you know, some kind of a temporary resolution that might help, maybe not, but in the end, you know, you still be fighting the the the you still be basically you will you are fighting your own body that tells you stop, just pay attention, something is going on.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Start going within, uh, start letting your emotions actually talk to you.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: And basically, we I felt like for me, it was I didn't want to treat my body as an enemy anymore because I felt like I was treating it like an enemy.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I really was disconnecting so much from it that it started like yelling and crying to me.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, my personal appearance has always been very important.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I noticed that like my skin was like so bad.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: I started looking so dull, so you know, like like I was I don't know, something something was going on with me.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I lost a lot of weight, which is good, right?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like you you think about losing the weight, and you know, I was losing that weight in all the wrong places that I didn't want to lose the weight.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Natalia, you make me think that you're right, stress can kill you.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: Felly, fell, you all I'll see somebody that's on TV or whatever, or just out and about, and they tell me they're 50 and they look 70.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, oh my gosh, you gotta be kidding me.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: So it's kind of like you know, if you break a leg, you gotta fix it, you're gonna see the cast.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_03: But when you're torn up on the inside, it will come out.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: So that's what you're talking about, that that nervous system.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then after that, one of the things I understand that you do now you work with people at personal transformation, creativity, life transitions, relationships, entrepreneurship.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: How do you how do you okay because of my listeners and they want it's time for them to maybe do some personal transformation that internally they're torn up, they know there's something else that they should do.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_03: What type of work do you do to get them from where you are, where you were, to where you want it to go?
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: What can my listeners do differently?
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's a good, that's actually a very good question.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad that I'm glad that you asked that question.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because I've been like my team, I have a team of people working with me right now.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, and we've been talking about it.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the girls uh who work with me on my social media and on everything, they've been always asking me this question, like, do you want to work with people?
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: How would you want to work with people?
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, so I came to this to this moment when I think that I am actually ready to work with people.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: But right now, what I do is I I I do like I create space where they can hear themselves again, okay, through my writing, through my visual work that I put on Instagram, uh, because I'm very active on Instagram.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: I am I'm very active on Facebook and I write and uh you know, all those thoughts of mine, I know that they are being received from the other side, and I hear that feedback from people.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um so what I want really, I want for for people to create a space for them where they can be next to me, or you know, I can talk to them, I can tell them about my life, you know, sort of like a mem mentorship kind of a thing.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: They where they can be in my space, you know, in the energy, because the energy is healing on itself when you are in that particular space with the person who already went through maybe that you are going through, right?
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or something is is is you know triggering him or her.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: That space with that particular person is extremely beneficial and extremely healing because that's what happened to me.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: I went through a series of people who I was really grateful enough to be in the space with these people and take that energy from them, and they were willing to give it out to me.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because in order to work with people for me, you need to be so full inside of this gratitude and of this light and of this energy that you want to give it out to people.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: You are not given this out of lack that you trying to feel within yourself.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you know, I'm so cool.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be working with this person, I'm gonna tell him what to do.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't work like that.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: I feel genuinely so full inside that I really want to give my wisdom, my words, maybe my experience, my energy, my advice to whoever needs it.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: And people feel it, and people give me feedback on how my energy actually reflects on them and what changes they've been made in their life.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm eternally grateful that this is the only thing that I want.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_03: You mentor people now.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's on your your your social media platforms, and you even wrote a book, The Velvet Blade, which is the Velvet Blade, I'm sorry.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_03: The yeah, the Velvet Blade, which is a fiction, and in which you said it's a lot of vulnerable chaos in the book.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm certain by you writing the book, it brought it with some type of healing, I'm sure, because I'd written a book as well, non fiction, though.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so that so that's part of your creativity and the vulnerability and your authenticity that you're putting in your writing.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I think that is great.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Now, uh so I want to know based on, and I know there are listeners that heard you, that's gone through what you're going through, or on the way, or finished, or whatever, that like to connect with you.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_03: How can they connect with me?
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, okay, so how they connect with me.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: I am I have my own website, first of all, and from that website it's it's by my name, it's uh nataliafalovic.com.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: So on the website, there are links to my social media, the there are there is a link to my Amazon listing where they can purchase my book.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I think my website is actually like the main point where people can connect with me.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: If people are very active on social media, they can find me on Instagram by my name, Natalia Pavlovich.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody is on SubStack, which is the platform for writers, my vulnerable case is available there.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if anybody wants to purchase my book, it's available on Amazon.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: So there are plenty of ways to connect with me if somebody wants to.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's great.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's great.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so, listeners, I could talk to Natalia and talk, but we we can't keep talking.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_03: You've heard her talk about the burnout, you heard her talk about how she knew something had to change.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_03: And some of you listeners, you know that as well.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_03: So it's kind of like now you know the difference between running from your current life because you're being called to another life.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_03: And one of the things you'd like that that what I'm hearing Natalia said, she did, she just made a decision, and that's what it takes, made a decision to say, okay, this is not for me.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_03: I do not want to be like this in the next five years.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_03: And like I said in the in the middle of this podcast, listen, you are not alone when it comes to what Natalia has experienced.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_03: There are many of you that have experienced this, and you have a decision to make.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: You can either be better, better, and we're not gonna die.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_03: So we not yet, not yet.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's right, that's right.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's not your time because if it were, you wouldn't have walked away this morning.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: So right.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I just want to thank Natalia.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: And the title was The Quiet Power Power of the Body in Creation.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_03: And just think about what was going on internally and what actually happens to the body internally and how it expresses itself externally.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_03: So, Natalia, I want to thank you again, my listeners.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_03: I want to ask you a question.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: Is your way in your way?
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: Is your way in your way?
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: And like you said, you can contact Natalia, you can contact Cassandracrawley.com, get on my website, and let's talk about it.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: Because one of the things you notice, Natalia didn't get through this on her own.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: She had a support system, and I encourage you listeners to do the same.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_03: So, again, Natalia, thank you so much.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_03: God bless you all.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: And please hit subscribe and like so you won't miss any of BCX series.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks again, and God bless Natalia.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Cassandra.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: God bless you all.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: Very grateful.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.